If You Let Me, I Might Try
by maya295
Summary: House & Cuddy have always played cat and mouse. It's their game: enticing, pushing back, pulling in, teasing... But what if it became serious? Would they be able to build a real relationship? - set after "The Itch" - Buckle up: it's a rollercoaster!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Fox or the TV show House. I just love it that's all….**

I first started to post this story in the Fox Forum in feb, 2009 (and now it's over 300 pages long! and still in progress... LOL) btw: a HUGE THANKS to all the "pleasantly strange" persons that I've met there because they are definitely part of the reasons why I'm posting this here today, on many levels…(I love you guys! mouarf-ouarf-ouarff) ...

**Now, about the story itself... it starts just after "The Itch" (season 5) So here are the things that you need to have in mind: **

1. Cuddy has NO baby / 2. She and House already kissed once / 3. Wilson knows about the kiss / 4. House went to Cuddy's but didn't dare show himself, turned around and left... (yeah, stupid, stupid guy!...)

I'm warning you, at some point during the storyline you might want to cry, or shout at me, or just SHOUT... or bite your nails in frustration, or giggle for no reason… because it will be a rollercoaster, which means there will be UPS and DOWNS wrapped in angst, drama, pain, banter, joy, laughter, friendship, luuuuv AND... a little bit of "smex" (no… actually… more than a little bit of that one…!)

**So** **if you want to express whatever feeling it inspires you… then, PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts...**

* * *

**IF YOU LET ME, I MIGHT TRY...**

**** Chapter 1 ****

House stormed into Wilson's office and went past the desk directly to the couch without even glancing at his friend. He plopped down onto the softness of the cushions. Once his body was completely stretched, facing opposite side to the desk, he dropped his cane on the floor, crossed his forearms behind his neck and put his head on the armrest, as if he was making himself comfy for a shrink consult. He waited silently for his friend to react, which he didn't. That was awkward and unusual for Wilson… Maybe he wasn't here? Maybe House was so urging to come to his favorite relaxing place, he hadn't realized the room was empty. He turned his head towards the desk doubtfully to check for his friend's presence. But Wilson was there, completely ignoring him and quietly looking down at his paperwork, a pen in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other. He didn't even bother to raise his head but instead just kept on reading, all focused on what seemed to be a great deal of responsibilities. House stared more intensely at him until Wilson was no more able to ignore his presence and had no choice left than to lift up his eyes. He stared back at House with a look of annoyance.

"What?"

"God! You scared me," House exclaimed, turning his head back on the armrest. "For a moment I thought you were working!"

"Actually I was. I…"

"Guess what I did last night?" House interrupted, ignoring his friend serious statement.

Wilson sighed in resignation, knowing he had no choice but to listen. This was part of the whole game anyway and he knew it. He put his pen down and, while leaning against the back of his chair, took a sip of coffee and said:

"I suppose there's no need for me to guess since the purpose of you being here is to tell me anyway…"

"Oh come on! This is fun! You trying to guess, me acting all secretive!"

"What are you, 12?"

"Sorta… But I got a fake ID so I can buy booze." House turned his head towards the desk again and gave his friend an accomplice wink…

Wilson slightly shook his head, faking to be appalled by his friend's childishness, but he couldn't help smiling.

"So what did you do last night? Monster trucks?"

"Nope. Although you may be right about the size of it…"

This time, Wilson really didn't get where this was going, so he kept silent. Then again avoiding his friend's gaze, House looked at the ceiling and added:

"Well, ass-size related, if you know what I mean…"

Wilson widened his eyes in stupefaction and exclaimed:

"What! House! This is what it's all about? You've interrupted me to talk about a hooker?"

"Who said it was about a hooker? Man, you seriously need to date free women again! You do know that hookers aren't the only female species available on earth for us men, don't you?"

"Well… I… you…," Wilson stammered, a little bit destabilized by the twisted mischievousness of the joke.

"Of course you do! Aren't these three specimens you managed to marry once living proves of it? Most certainly resentful proves now, but still…"

"So if this is not about a hooker, then what is it?" Wilson asked, ignoring the reference to a past he'd rather not evoke.

"Ah, see? Now you wanna know, you sneaky little bastard!"

"Are you going to tell me or not?" Wilson said, slightly raising his voice in exasperation.

"I went to her place," House suddenly stated hoarsely, putting an end to the guessing game.

"Her place? Whose place? Where did you go?"

"Geez! Are you doing this on purpose? Because it's getting really annoying, you know? I went to Cuddy's, you moron! Would you focus a minute on what's going on here?"

"Ooh, and what's going on?" Wilson whispered, suddenly very interested, checking frantically all around him as if he were about to hear the darkest secret of the world, and wanted to make sure he was the only one allowed to hear it.

House remained silent for a few seconds and then answered in a low voice:

"Nothing."

Wilson, not quite noticing the gravity in his friend tone, teased him a little:

"You sound disappointed about that. What happened? Did she drive you off? Did she refuse to yield to the call of your male instincts?"

"No. We didn't talk," House answered not feeling in the mood for an ironic retort about his sex skills…

"Whoa! You must have been freaking damn appealing and Cuddy very much sex deprived if she actually jumped you before you had the chance to say hello or… maybe I should probably have that last sentence reversed," He added, widely grinning at his own joke. "Well whichever it is, I guess you've reached your own private little heaven since this must be the ultimate House's sex fantasy: a silent woman willing to offer her body without saying a word…"

"We didn't talk because she didn't let me in."

"Mmkay…And?"

"And, before you say another stupid AND unfunny joke about it, let me clear this for you: she didn't let me in because, actually, she didn't know I was there."

Wilson knew this was the moment for him to shut up and quit the jibe if he ever wanted to have the chance to learn exactly what happened. So he silently waited for House to continue.

"I drove to her place… but once there, I don't know I… turned around and… just left."

House sounded serious and Wilson felt suddenly concerned for his friend. He raised an eyebrow and cautiously asked:

"Ok… and was there a reason why you wanted to be there in the first place?"

"I don't know. You started this. You and your sick, annoying need to pry! You told me to go to her place! So you tell me. Is there a reason? I mean should I have one? Reasonably speaking…"

Wilson barely believed what he was witnessing: House worrying about the consequences of his actions. He didn't recall having seen him so utterly serious about a woman, not since Stacy though. That shook him a little as he suddenly realized that House was relying on him to give him a rational answer, or even an insightful advice. Both of which, he usually mock so spontaneously. But he wasn't sure it was his call and if his opinion was the right one to share. But he also certainly didn't want to crush down this new humane concern that House had allowed to enter his mind with a sarcastic remark. He tried not to push his friend's feelings too hard and proposed a careful answer:

"Well, you seem to like her. I mean I thought…"

"Oh, you thought?"

House smirked contemptuously and provokingly added:

"You know, sometimes, you just remind me of Cameron. You're like another version of her, but with testicles… of course I like her! But not your kind of mushy 'like her' like her! I just want my fair share of those things she's carrying in her bra, and one bite of that other big one in her panties, on which she's sitting right now, wondering how you manage to become an oncologist since you're always so emotional and fluffy about everything—"

"House, you're being rude—"

"Oh c'mon, I didn't say it made you a bad oncologist."

"I meant, about Cuddy—"

"What? Wanting to have sex with Cuddy is rude? You think she's not worth it? Oh no wait… you think she's not worth me?"

House rolled on his side to face Wilson and show him the mischievous grin that was splitting his face from ear to ear.

"Oh-oh! Is that a proof of your ever devoted friendship? Or is that your way of preventing me from a disaster?"

"What disaster are you talking about? You're not fooling anyone with your filthy jokes, House! Neither are you with your poor attempts at convincing me, or yourself that you don't give a damn about it. This whole situation scares the hell out of you, admit it! Because you care for her. That's why you went to her place and didn't dare to show yourself. You're afraid she might actually not feel the same way…"

"Oh look at you now! All proud of yourself because you think you've been so quick-witted about the whole thing! Well, except you're totally wrong! I've already figured out by myself that we don't feel the same way a long time ago. This can be biologically explained, and it's called hormones: men want sex, women want love. Simple! I even think they taught us that in Med School, maybe stated in different words, but we all got what it meant!"

"Or, maybe you've missed the course where they said sex and love could coexist for both men and women."

House remained silent at this last comment. His eyes were closed and his thumb and index finger were making an arch on his forehead pushing his eyebrows down to frown. Suddenly without any particular reason, his eyes popped up open. He reached out for his cane on the floor and used it as a help to pull himself out of the couch. Without a word, he stood up and started rushing out towards the exit. As he walked past him, limping with his fastest pace, Wilson added:

"You should talk to her, House."

House didn't answer at first but, as he was about to walk out through the office door, he shouted out:

"Nice chatting with you Wilson! Useless comments as usual but thanks anyway!"

After House left, Wilson remained staring blankly in front of him for a few seconds, unaware of the broad smile he had on his lips. Whatever reason it was that had brought his friend here, he knew he had found an answer to it. And as twisted as it sounded, he was also sure it was something that could hopefully turn out well for him. Suddenly getting back to reality, Wilson took the pen back on the desk, sighed heavily and returned to his paperwork.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Thank you for your reviews._**

_**I hope you will still enjoy this. We're now moving on to chapter 2, with the first House & Cuddy scene...**_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 2 ****

On his way out of Wilson's office, House bumped into Cuddy. She gave him a suspicious look, adjusted her blouse and began to walk again towards wherever she was headed in her ever determined pace. Quite unconsciously, he immediately started to stride alongside her as fast as he could, setting his limp on her walking tempo. Despite looking conspicuously straight ahead in an attempt to ignore him, Cuddy smiled slightly and asked:

"What useless comments were you making?"

"Ah too bad! It's a little dirty secret only Wilson and I are sharing so I really can't fill you in on the _useless_ comment right now—but who knows? If you really behave yourself," he teased, giving her a wink.

"Yes sure! Whatever!" she said, waving her hand in front of his face in an attempt to brush the innuendo aside. "What are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to treat a patient or something involving the medical skills I'm paying you for?"

Without any forewarning, he suddenly and abruptly stopped in the middle of the hallway to face her. Strangely as if she had almost anticipated it, she stopped quite at the same time, in a very synchronized rhythm, and looked up at him.

"Mooom!" he whined, leaning towards her a little. "You said it was ok for me to go out playing with my buddy Jimmy if I had all my homework done!"

"And? Have you?" she asked, raising her chin and taking a step towards him defiantly.

House stared at her for a brief moment, which felt like an eternity. He could feel her frail body tensing up, so close to his that he was almost able to smell the light scent of her shampoo. She seemed so determined and yet so fragile… He began to lose himself deep in thoughts.

* * *

He had barely seen her ever since that strange and awkward moment they had shared in her house after the adoption process had fallen through. The night they'd kissed… He felt a slight shiver running through his spine as he recalled the sensation of her body against his. Has she been thinking about that moment herself or had she just disposed of it like she said she had of this whole baby project, pretending it wasn't important anymore? To him, she looked pretty convinced about her wanting to give up on adopting a child. And now she was acting all professional again, all tough and distant as if the only thing that ever mattered to her was her job as Dean of Medicine. He could only assume that what happened between them didn't mean anything to her. But that night, he had clearly felt her deprivation and he was quite sure it wasn't just because of the baby loss. He could tell it by the way she'd let herself give in to his embrace. And he knew it would have been so easy for him to just push things a little further and cash in on the situation because she was so emotionally needy. But he had left instead. He just had to anyway, for he never would have taken advantage of her vulnerability in such a painful moment. That was not how he wanted things to be, if he ever wanted things to be _something_ with her, as vague as it sounded, anyway. But then, he most certainly had felt that particular something on that particular night. A _something_ he hadn't been able to define nor deny and which had become almost unavoidable as soon as he'd left her place. That's why he'd felt the urge to drive back to his apartment as fast as he could so he could drown this whole mess in bourbon; until he could barely lift up his glass anymore; until he would try to reach his bedroom painfully staggering along; until he would stumble and fall on the floor instead from where, looking up at the ceiling he would see this fuzzy and wavy new reality that had finally replaced the confusing one. And yet, despite all his efforts to put the 'incident' behind him, he'd been completely unable to forget about it, and the ever disturbing haunting sensation that invaded his brain every damn minute of his day since.

* * *

Cuddy's face was still raised to his as her light blue eyes were interrogating him, trying to find an answer to her question in his gaze. She tapped her chest with her index finger to make him react.

"So your patient?" she rephrased.

"Degos syndrome," House said as if he had been awakening from a dream.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, feeling deeply sorry for the man, at the mention of this rare and very complex disease, with an often lethal prognosis. "And how did you find out about it?" she added showing genuine concern.

She had stepped back a little, re-installing a more normal distance between them, which was now convenient for the serious conversation she obviously was willing to have. He noticed how she looked tired despite the makeup that covered her eyelids and cheeks; and how the dark curls that framed her face were making her pale skin even more noticeable. Her lips were closed, and still shiny with the remaining trace of a light pink gloss. They were just perfectly shaped. And they tasted so good…

'_Ok,_' he thought. '_This isn't gonna work. I gotta get outta here or I'll go crazy_'. And, although he'd rather use any other way to do this, there was only one he knew that would get him rid of Cuddy's disturbing presence and work quickly and efficiently, and that was…

"Why do you care how I found out? You don't know squat about symptoms and how to medically link them up all together anyway," he suddenly and unexpectedly barked.

Cuddy's face abruptly changed from sincere concern to a shocked look within a second and he saw a slight trace of hurt filling her eyes.

"And the man is dying," he went on, waving his free hand in the air and turning his head opposite to hers to avoid looking her in the eyes while doing this. "Except now, with the right and promising cure we just provided, he may be lucky to have a few extra years. Or…" He stared straight back at her, with his disconcerting piercing blue eyes. "Is that _why_ you want to know? Because you want to evaluate how much money you can expect from his medical insurance, now that he's left a huge unpaid bill for this hospital to take care of... Oh and, by the way," he finally added, paraphrasing her earlier sneaky comment, "what are you doing here anyway? Aren't you supposed to administrate or something involving whichever skills you're being paid for?"

And with this, he started to walk away.

Cuddy briefly looked down and took a deep breath to help her recover from House's uncalled-for and mean attack. She may have become quite well trained in this over the years, yet she never could really tell when he was about to turn into snappish and snarky mode. And this one was most certainly unexpected. Why was he acting like that with her? Did he resent her for the kiss? If so, it would definitely disconcert her, and she certainly didn't need this right now, for she was already tangled enough with the memory of that particular night itself…

* * *

She remembered how surprised she had felt then, when she had found him standing at her doorsill. House willing to bring her comfort and soothe her because an event he'd done nothing but constantly mock had ended sadly? That had seemed completely out of the blue to her. If she had ever thought of him coming to her place to begin with, this only would have been to expect him to brag and throw his victory at her face, since he'd forewarned her about the risk many times with his provoking insight. But instead he'd come, caring and friendly and nice, sounding like he had in fact been a fervent supporter to the adoption the whole time. She couldn't really explain why because the truth was it eventually touched her, but at first she had really felt mad about the unexpectedness of that sudden change in behavior. It was like she could only assume he was _pretending_ to care and not actually believe in the compassionate words he had told her.

House was not the kind of man who would feel sorry for someone. In his own language, "pity" was even a gross word. He hated the feeling itself and resented anyone who would feel it for him. So what was it? Why had he shown up at her place like that, all embarrassed and ill at ease? To tell her she would have made a great mother after all that he'd said? That was too unexpected of him. And when she had asked him why he was doing this, he had seemed so wrecked... as if for one short but timeless moment they were just exactly emotionally in sync. But the moment had gone by… when actually, she was about to give in and let herself go, he'd left her there with jagged nerves and overwhelmed feelings; so deeply moved that she couldn't convinced herself anymore that it was just because of the baby… She hadn't been able to sleep that night, her mind tormenting her with all kind of confusing thoughts which, the morning after, as she'd felt exhausted and shattered, had all led her to decide the best way out of this downward spiral would be to throw herself deep into work; to avoid hoping for anything, anymore… from anyone.

* * *

"HOUSE!" she cried out, making him stop at her call.

She quickly caught up to him, mentally heartening herself to look him right in the eyes and sound as if this was just work matter.

"You owe me six hours of clinic duty, and since you don't have a patient I want you to start there, now!" she said, in her most confident and strong voice.

"Why can't you send the repented little philanderer instead; coz really, he's just the perfect guy for the job: guilt has turned him into the most devoted doctor you could wish for this hospital!... right after me, that is."

"Yeah. Repented and devoted!" She smirked. "Two perfectly appropriate words anyone would immediately think of to describe you."

"You _do_ get I'm being rhetorical, right? Because truth is, there's a lot more accurate _and_ interesting adjectives to describe me. Want me to share some with you?"

"No, thanks. There're plenty that I can think of myself, already."

"Fine! Too bad you don't wanna tell me which ones: we could have compared! Can I go now? I'll tell Taub you've reassigned him… Oops! _Your_ job, sorry! I mean, _you_'re the Dean of Medicine, _you_ get to do the annoying bossy things..."

"I've already reassigned your team. In the E.R. There was a pileup on the interstate this morning, and Cameron needed extra help. So that just leaves you, House. The waiting room is already full. I need a doctor in there."

"Uhm, let's see," he said, rubbing his chin pensively. "I could either leave now for the doctor's lounge, watch soaps and spend the rest of my day doing happily nothing or… I could spend my time listening to old women complaining about their menopausal problems, or whiny moms dying in angst because their annoying little brat has a runny nose. Ha, tough call!"

"House, don't make me beg," she said out of the blue, instantly regretting having phrased it like that.

"Oh-oh, you're kiddin'?" he sniggered, too happy with the easy retort she'd just offered him. "_You_, begging? _That_ would be a massive turn-on… Wait, now that I give it a second thought, it really depends on what you'd be begging for… more?... or for me to stop?"

"House! Clinic! NOW!" she said turning her back to him and starting to leave.

"Alright. Is it code for "you begging for me to stop"?" He called after her, as he watched her silhouette vanish around the next corner of the hallway.

He stood alone in the middle of the hallway for a few seconds, until a small group of interns walked past him, shooting him a weird look. Among them, he caught the eyes of one young woman in a coat, walking alongside the others and he widely grinned at her.

"First I thought 'more' would be the nasty one but 'beg for me to stop' is kinda cool too, uh?" He said raising his chin towards her as if he was asking for her approval.

The young intern didn't seem to care much about his antics and gave him a sorry look in return, while she continued to walk down the hallway. His eyes followed her and the group until they turned to the right in the lab's direction. He heaved a deep sigh and started heading towards the clinic. What other choice did he have? The woman had begged him, for God's sake!


	3. Chapter 3

Hi everyone!

Thanks to all of you for reading this story... and thank you to all of you who have reviewed it so far. I just love to read your feedbacks: it fuels my writing, you know. So please, don't be shy and leave me a comment! :-)

And now on to Chapter 3, where we gotta love our boy Wilson...

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**** CHAPTER 3 ****

Except for this uncalled-for argument she had with House in the morning, the rest of the day had been pretty much uneventful and had quietly passed by for Cuddy. The afternoon was over and the evening shadow was spreading through her office's large bow-windows and filling the room with darkness. A smooth light coming from a desk lamp was lightening her face as she was sorting out some extra paperwork and signing some forms before she could finally allow herself to go home. Cuddy heard the sound of the door opening and looked up to find Wilson hesitantly coming inside. She welcomed him with a friendly smile but sent him a quizzical look as she tried to decipher whether this was going to be a positive moment or not. She wasn't dreading which one it was going to be, though. Never mind the late hour, she thought to herself, she could always enjoy a little visit from her friend. She most certainly was convinced it wouldn't be an annoying one, or a professional-related one either, at least not one of those ever disturbing and exhausting visits House was paying her once or twice a month, bursting in her office to talk her into whatever insane procedure his mind had come up with or grouse about the hospital lack of resources…

Unaware of Cuddy optimistic expectations, Wilson took a tentative step forward, still visibly not knowing if he was about to do the right thing or not.

"Have you seen House?" he finally asked, standing in front of her desk.

At the very mention of his name, Cuddy looked immediately disappointed and to show her indifference, she conspicuously returned her focus to her forms, starting to fill them in again. After their most awkward and disturbing encounter earlier that day, she definitely didn't want to hear about him again, even if it came from Wilson who she knew had nothing to do with it.

"I sent him to the clinic this morning, so assuming he's not found a twisted pretext to avoid dealing with patients, you should find him there," she answered in a tone she couldn't help but make sound a little dismissing.

Wilson studied her while she stubbornly kept on looking down, pretending to deal with her work. She obviously had been troubled by him asking about House and now she was displaying this typically childish little pout of hers, one she generally had when she wanted to avoid a subject but denied she was actually doing so at the same time. '_Damn, this isn't going to be easy_!' Wilson thought. But he recalled the look on House's face when he had confided in him earlier in the morning. He hadn't spotted that look in his friend's eyes since… well, he couldn't even remember when. Even when Stacy had been back in his life for a short period a few years ago, and he had witnessed his friend falling for her again, he'd known that, should it undoubtedly crush him, it was not destined to end well for either of them. Stacy was married and House was not that big jerk he sometimes liked to pretend he was. Moreover, Stacy belonged to a past which House could never make up for, and he'd known that right from the start. The truth was he probably didn't really want to anyway. Whereas now, that morning, Wilson had seen something in his friend's eyes… something different. And that was care… or something resembling it in House's unique scale of emotions. House had gone to Cuddy's the night before, and just by the way he'd confessed about it, Wilson had immediately perceived the significance of it. Now that he was looking at Cuddy's face, he saw it as evidence: if there ever was someone that these two could be 'destined' for, They undeniably were the closest matching choice for each other that could possibly be found.

House, with his ever-damaged soul and heart, always trying to hide each and every genuine human feeling he felt behind a provoking flow of crude and sometimes even hurtful remarks. He, so convinced he didn't need anyone, he couldn't allow anyone to need him back and instinctively pushed them away.

Cuddy, with her wrecked life, so empty and lonely; a life she was yet trying to fill with overflowing duty and responsibilities to bring her the soothing but nonetheless deflecting conviction that things were just right the way they were. She, so reluctant to commit and let her emotions show because she was terrorized she might lose whom she had struggled to become in the process.

"In fact, I wasn't really looking for him," Wilson said trying to bring up the subject.

"Ok," she muttered grumpily, reluctantly acknowledging that the conversation _was_ going to be House.

"Whatever he's done," he started, "you should know that he's confused."

"Yeah sure," she answered with an ironic smirk, opening her desk drawer and fumbling through it.

"You know he went to your place last night?"

"Nobody went to my place last night," she answered assertively, closing the drawer, the PPTH seal in her hand. "At least, nobody that I would be aware of…"

Finally tilting her face up, she looked like a disturbing revelation had suddenly hit her.

"Huh? Are you saying House _broke into_ my place and did something twisted while I was sleeping? What is it?" she questioned with an almost resigned sigh. "Did he hide some cameras in my bathroom? Did he put dead body parts in my fridge? Or, no wait, did he file half-way through one of my chair's legs to make me fall the next time I'll sit and break my coccyx, so that he can happily joke about my ass for a week?"

Listening to her making up all those crazy and paranoiac assumptions that only House could bring into her usually so under-controlled and well-adjusted mind, Wilson had to repress a smile. Damn, these two really were a perfect match!

"Relax Cuddy, House's done nothing wrong," he answered trying to sound as convincing as he could.

"Let's say that's the truth. Means, either you don't know about him having done something wrong because he actually _didn't do_ anything wrong… or you _do know_ he did something wrong but you don't know what it is… so you wanted to forewarn me just in case…"

She sounded like she was brainstorming out loud. She had stood up and walked round her desk, closer to Wilson. She was now studying him suspiciously to check if he was purposely hiding something from her. All of a sudden, she paced back to her desk, picked up the phone and started dialing what Wilson immediately assumed was whichever relevant number she needed to dial to reach House. Although concerned about the purpose that had brought him here in the first place, he couldn't help grinning at the image of Lisa Cuddy, the strong and determined Dean of Medicine totally losing it, because of her very own blindness when it came to House. He walked towards her, gently took the receiver out of her hand and hung up the phone. Then he looked at her with gravity, trying to make his point. She looked back, intrigued and finally focused.

"He stayed outside the whole time. He didn't even have the courage to ring…"

"This is preposterous!" she interrupted swaying her hand in front of her, as if she wanted to say '_oh and __**that**__ is your point!_' "House never misses an opportunity to come to my house, and jerk me around for no reason. And each time he comes up with another stupid pretext. One he thinks will vaguely sound medically relevant so I'd buy the whole crap. Which is why, if he really was there last night, trust me, he would have rung!"

At that very moment, Wilson would have gladly asked her _why_, if she was so sure House was only fooling her around, she kept opening the door to him, enabling the whole game, and maybe even wishing for it to happen. But, proud and stubborn as she was when it came to admitting what she was really feeling, he thought that would certainly not help him get to his point.

"He didn't come to your place to play mind games with you or jerk you around."

"Really?" She sounded puzzled at the very idea that House might actually have another motive. "Why then?"

"He came to ask you on a date…"

"House? Ask _me_? On a date?" She burst into ironic laughter at the very mention of it. "Is this some kind of sick joke? Have you two taken up a bet or something?"

Unconsciously she checked above Wilson's shoulder to see if House wasn't hiding somewhere behind her office glass door, lurking in her direction and savoring each and every reaction of hers. Without noticing what she was doing, Wilson confessed:

"Technically, I'm the one who talked him into driving to your place and asking you on a date."

Cuddy's eyes widened in astonishment.

"And why would you do _that_?"

"Uh…kiss?" he embarrassingly answered as if that single word only was enough to define the core of the problem: "You remember you and House did kiss, right? Or do I have to very inappropriately remind you of it?"

Cuddy sighed and gave him a surrendering look, the one on a child's face who's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I've forgotten you two are the worst gossiping persons in this hospital!" She went to sit down in her chair again and looked up at him standing in front of her. "This is completely ridiculous anyway! House would never do something like that. Believe me, he certainly isn't the dating kind of guy. And if he were, I most certainly wouldn't be his dating kind of girl!"

"Why not?" Wilson challenged. "On the first look, you'd get the impression you two are radically different species, never meant to get along, but you could be wrong."

Cuddy was dumbfounded by his statement and furrowed her brow in disbelief.

"Truth is," Wilson continued, "as unbelievable as it may seem, you and House understand each other like no one else can. That's why you can't help yourself seeking for the other one's approval on every decision you make. You wouldn't be able to stay away from each other more than one week even if you'd wish to. You think fighting all the time about meaningless matters makes it less noticeable but it only makes it more obvious. You _need_ each other."

"Wow, you really did prepare that speech!" Cuddy said in a poor attempt at cracking a joke.

She gently smiled, half-amused, half-embarrassed by what Wilson had just said and her cheeks slightly turned red, as she tried to hide her embarrassment. But somehow, she managed to stay rather detached as she quietly went on, with a look of disillusion behind her eyes:

"I know you just mean this for my own good James and maybe for House's, too, but you don't have to do this. He and I are both adults. We can make our own decisions about what we want or don't want in our lives. And if House actually came to my place, like you say he did, you're right about something because he didn't ring and he never showed up. So at least we can be sure of one thing: this whole inviting me on a date project probably never really crossed his mind in the first place…"

"Well if you're completely convinced about that, then…"

Wilson stopped to study her reaction. She sustained his look, raising her chin, imperceptibly nodding and trying to look as self-confident as she could, but her lips, firmly set, were making it clear there was nothing to be added. Wilson knew that if that was the only way left to end this conversation, she could have gone on like this for an eternity. He gently smiled at her, as if to say: "_It's ok. I'm leaving you alone now. You can relax._"

"Good night Cuddy," he said instead.

"Good night Wilson," she answered, her shoulders slightly falling down, allowing her to relieve the pressure from the muscles stiffness.

He turned round and started to head towards the door while Cuddy leaned back in her chair and watched him leave for a few seconds. Her thoughts turned inwards and she looked away, gazing into emptiness. Just when he was about to close the door behind him, Wilson looked over his shoulder, glancing in her direction and catching that exact look on her face: "_confusion and doubt… with a zest of hope?_" Wilson smiled to himself. He could tell Cuddy wasn't so sure anymore. Maybe he'd finally managed to trigger something in her mind, forcing her to address the problem and put a name on it. He couldn't do much more than this, but at least he knew Cuddy would no longer be able to hedge anymore. Now, there was just one thing left to expect: let the invading thought lead her to whatever decision she would allow herself to make and hope it would be the right one… but he couldn't be of any help for that. For now, he'd done what he could to help… and like he'd thought: "_damn, this wasn't easy!_"


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi everyone! **

**We now move on to chapter 4, where we'll have a little inside view at both House's and Cuddy's thoughts...**

**Reviews are very welcome so tell me what you think! Thanks. **

**Have a nice day... or night... or whatever moment is appropriate when you're reading this! :-D**

* * *

**** CHAPTER 4 ****

The hours House had spent in the clinic were just as he'd thought they would be: boring, exhausting and endless! And the patients were exactly the kind he'd expected to have: lonely, old women crying for attention and nervous moms crying for help; in between which, to complete the whole frame, he'd also had his share of dumb, pubescent teens, anxious to be pregnant after their first kiss and stupid women ashamed they were after their denied night of unsafe sex with the first loser they'd met in a bar... Morons! That's what they all were. But he'd been patient, and had treated them with his best good will, trying to be the least cynical he could. Now his work duties were more than fulfilled…

He went to his office to retrieve his jacket and backpack before leaving. His leg was hurting him worse than usual, as it often did when something had annoyed him for quite a while. It's been less than two hours since he'd taken his last vicodin but he really needed some more. He rummaged in his jeans' pocket to find the bottle of pills and once done, quickly popped one into his mouth. He sat down at his desk and took some time to rub his leg, allowing the pill to take effect. The room was dark and through the window that gave him a view towards Wilson's office, he could see it was dark there too. Too bad, he could have enjoyed a drink with his friend. But no, Wilson would have probably annoyed him the whole evening with his obsessive need to pry, forcing him to talk about Cuddy when actually there was nothing to say. Nothing at all…

They had kissed. Big deal! Ok, so maybe it had felt good at that moment, and surely, House could say his body was not all dead flesh! But what had happened that night was just an out of the blue impulse, which was nothing worth rationalizing about… Anyway, what could possibly come out of it if he tried?

Yes, Cuddy was hot. Then what? He'd never denied the fact that her body was turning him on. Especially when, with the way she usually dressed, it was pretty hard not to pay attention to it!

But then, there was this other thing about her that he hadn't felt with other women, except maybe Stacy. Cuddy wasn't all pitying with him. Damn! She could even make jokes about him being a cripple! He liked that about her, and the fact that she'd never obsessively felt the need to fix him. And, she was not that bad a doctor… as incredible as it seems, even he was willing to admit that. There had been times when she'd made bold and risky medical decisions which, he wouldn't tell her of course, had quite impressed him. Actually, beneath her freaking need to over-control everything, she was as wild and crazy as he was, ready to make impulsive choices and live with the risk to regret them… even make _him_ make _her_ regret them; because she didn't care. Nobody but she had actually dared to give him the Ketamine. When everyone else had been paralyzed by the idea of making a medical decision that could have had dangerous consequences, she'd given him a risky cure that had brought him hope. Maybe it hadn't lasted and maybe he'd felt bitter eventually, even towards her, but he'd been able to walk without pain, even run again and _she_ had given him that… He was so tired of all the brown-nosers that always feared to defy him or impose their choices on him. He was not God, and sometimes he needed someone to remind him of that. Cuddy wasn't afraid to be that someone. She had balls! And the way she was always so determinedly standing up to him was such a massive turn-on! Sometimes he had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop the thrilling sensation that was shaking his body when they argued from overwhelming him, or when she smiled at him, when she looked at him with her mischievous gaze…

Whoa, whoa, whoa! House suddenly tilted his head back and pushed his thumbs inside his eyes as if he wanted to thrust them into his skull. What was that? Why couldn't he get her out of his mind? This was enough to drive him up a wall. He had probably taken too much vicodin and now he was just high.

_Yeah,_ he thought, _that's exactly what it is, nothing more: just the unexpected and rather annoying effects of the pills_…

He forcefully rubbed his forehead in a desperate attempt to bring his mind back to reality. Then he reached for his cane and stood up. He took his leather jacket, put it on and grabbed his backpack. With a resigned sigh he walked out of his office and headed to the elevator so he could finally get out of this damn hospital where he'd had the most horrible day of his week.

On the ground floor, he walked out of the elevator and limped painfully towards the exit door. But when he passed next by the clinic glass door, he couldn't help himself from turning his head towards it and beyond, where he could see there was still a diffuse light spreading throughout Cuddy's office wooden blinds. Almost in spite of him, he slowed down his pace and looked more intensely in that direction if he were trying to picture her seated at her desk, drowning herself in deep work. It was dark outside. It was late. And she was still there, doing things she most probably could have deal with the next morning… she too had to suffer somehow to pull off this masquerade and pretend everything was about work and duty. He knew she was in pain, suffering, and that she was feeling lost. For him, pain was a companion he had learned to silently hate and live alongside with throughout the years. But she was not used to this and he could tell it just by the way she was struggling to conceal it so hard…

Without noticing, he took a bee line and changed direction, heading towards the clinic door that further led to her office. When he realized what he was doing, he stopped abruptly and looked down at his feet, trying to rationalize the irrational. The truth was he _wanted_ to comfort her. Just like he'd wanted to when he had come to her place that night and they'd kissed. He just wanted to take her in his arms and relieve her from her pain by letting her give it away to him. He knew what pain could do and he didn't want that for her. Yet, for the moment being, in front of the clinic door, he found himself unable to push it open and walk there. Instead, he took a deep breath and turned around, walking towards the exit once more. At the hospital entrance door, he took a moment to stare at the outside: cars and lights and houses and people in those houses… _lives_… So many of them out there. H sighed and adjusted his leather jacket's collar, throwing his backpack higher on his shoulder and stepped outside.

Wilson was right, somehow: yes, he was afraid. But not because he feared Cuddy might drive him away. He was afraid of what he was feeling. He knew that each time he had become emotionally genuinely attached to someone, it had always ended badly because he couldn't help but screw it up. And it just scared the hell out of him that he might turn out to be the mean bastard that could hurt her and cause her more pain...

# # # # # # #

After Wilson had left, Lisa Cuddy couldn't focus on work anymore. Instead she felt overwhelmed by unwanted thoughts that kept invading her brain, and preventing her from dealing with work issues. She was tough, she was used to making decisions, difficult and risky ones, and she knew what to do or what to say whenever she was confronted with a professional problem. She had no fear. _'Dammit, she was tough_!' she kept repeating herself. And now this? House, who according to Wilson, had allegedly showed up at her place to ask her on a date? Was it possible that any of this could be something other than a bad joke? Why would he do anything like that anyway?

Well ok, of course, she could find a reason… Let's say it bluntly: she was well aware of the sexual tension between them. She was not that naïve. She was a confident woman, who accepted her femininity and she knew she had power over men because of it. She wasn't afraid to own up to that either. House and she had always played upon that field together, sometimes pushing the limits, but this whole banter had never been more than this: a meaningless game heading nowhere, right? Because any attempt at taking it seriously would have been stupid and childish and above all unreasonable. What was there to expect with a man like House anyway?

He was a damn jerk and a son of a bitch! Maybe a genius one but with him everything had to be either black or white, there were no subtle light shades of grey in between. None of his sudden moments of tenderness, care or display of human feelings could ever be taken for granted. That's why she'd forcefully tried to stay as far away from him as she could and had convinced herself there was nothing to hope for. Hoping would have been the worst, stupid thing to do. And she was smart so she was well aware of that. In fact, there were even times when she could almost come to the conclusion that the best way to prevent herself from being hurt was to get rid of him. Actually, it was something she should have done a long time ago…

But the truth was slightly different and she just couldn't pretend like she wasn't aware of that difference, could she? House had crossed the lines on several occasions, with her, with the law, with morality… She'd had so many reasons to send him away, fire him, and let him pay the price of his mistakes on his own, alone and far away from her concern. She wished she was able not to give a damn about what could happen to him, just like he was doing with everyone else around. Because everything was a game to him, everything was a challenge, nothing mattered and he didn't care about anyone, not even himself…

She suddenly and painfully remembered that one time in the bus, when his heart stopped sending him on the edge of death. She was there when he'd suddenly fallen on the floor, unconscious. She'd rushed toward him, to give him CPR while she was almost out of breath herself. She had brought him back to life and held his head on her lap; and she was so distraught, so completely crushed by what she had felt at that moment then. She wanted to deny it but the truth was she'd felt terrorized at the very idea of losing him for real. And at that time, the feeling had just turned into rage and anger against him and she had just wanted to hit him and yell at him because she hated herself for this and she hated him, even more… but she had held his hand instead, squeezed it tight so she could feel life running through his veins while he was in a coma. He didn't know that but she had cried for him or, more precisely, because of him. She had suffered so much pain because of his crazy, irrational lack of concern. Nothing but the Truth ever mattered to him! She'd wished he'd have been able to say he was sorry. She'd wished he'd have regretted the stupid things he'd done, playing with his life and making him, her and his friends suffer. She'd wished he'd have promised her to take care of himself, respect his commitment to the hospital, understand the importance of what he had to do and acknowledge that people needed _him_ and not just the doctor in him… but he was a stubborn idiot, no more reasonable than a child… and she was tired. Tired of thinking he was not who he pretended to be. Tired of being the one who hoped for better things to come…

And yet, that night, in the worst moment of her pain and grief, when she was alone in her house crying, she'd wished for no one but him to be there; because as strange as it sounded, there was actually no one else she could think about to ease her pain. She didn't want her mother, or Wilson or any other friends. She wanted _him_… Him and his blunt remarks that only he dared to speak. They were hard to stomach but in the end, they always helped her, they were for her own good. And yes, he had mocked her and made all kinds of hurtful jokes about her wanting to adopt, but when the time had come to stop joking, he'd been the only one to actually show up. He had been the only one who had realized how bad she needed someone that night; because in his own very special and twisted way, he cared for her. And he knew her so well, just like no one else did.

No one.

Jolted back to reality, Lisa Cuddy stared at her paperwork and files covering her desk. She checked her watch: it was almost 7.30pm. Time to go, she thought, feeling suddenly drained. Never mind the unfinished work, it would have to wait until the next day. For the time being, she decided she couldn't stay a minute longer here as her head was throbbing and she needed to rest. However, not able to completely suppress the guilt that leaving made her feel, she randomly took some files with her, cheering herself with the promise that she's find the strength to deal with them once at home. She grabbed her purse, went to the door to get her coat, and turned the lights off. Alone at this late hour, she walked through the entrance hall to the door and she quietly left the hospital.

And yet, as she was mechanically driving back to her house, her thoughts quietly straying to nothing in particular, she drove past House's neighborhood. Without really wishing for it, she almost mechanically changed direction and turned in the street that led to his apartment.

Maybe her mind wasn't actually straying to nothing…


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to ALL of you who have visited and read this story...**

**Here is chapter 5... Cuddy's now at House's door... let's see how that goes... :-)**

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**** CHAPTER 5 ****

House was sitting on his couch trying to clear his mind from all the disturbing thoughts that were invading it. On the coffee table in front of him, where he'd laid his injured leg to rest, there was a half-empty bottle of bourbon and the full glass he was holding in his hand was obviously not the first. Suddenly and quite unexpectedly, he heard a knock on his door.

"Dammit, don't you have a life already? Go get yourself a girlfriend in a bar or something!" he yelled at the door, convinced it was Wilson.

Firmly decided to ignore his friend's visit, he moved the glass up to his mouth to have another sip of soothing alcohol…

"House, it's me. Open the door."

He stopped the glass at the edge of his lips. There was only one female's voice which he could always identify, no matter what the circumstances, and that very one voice was coming from behind his door…

"I'm off duty," he protested, tilting his head backwards against the couch's backrest to direct the sound towards the door. "Go away!"

But, of course, it only caused the knocking to start again, this time louder. _Fucking hell!_ he thought, _why did she have to be so stubborn and annoying?_ Unable to disregard her annoying, conspicuous presence at his door any longer, he resignedly pulled himself out of the sofa, placing the glass on the table before walking to the door with a heavy sigh. The safety chain was on. He opened it without taking it off. Through the small opening, he saw her, standing on his doorsill, looking embarrassed and a little bit impatient at the same time.

"What do you want?" he growled drily.

"Can I come in?" she asked, visibly uneasy to be here and have to ask for permission.

"What – do – you - want?" House repeated, this time pronouncing each word loud and clear.

She cleared her throat and raised her face to him.

"We need to talk," she said with as much self-confidence as she could muster.

"_Need_? To _talk_? Oh no, _we_ don't!" he sniggered, mocking every choice of words in her sentence.

"House! Just open the damn door! _Please_."

The imploring pout she sent him made her look so damn sexy that he almost felt like an electric shock striking his whole body. He griped the door tighter, took a deep breath and stared intensely at her for some long, silent seconds. Then, without a warning, he slammed the door in her face so he could remove the safety chain before re-opening it. When he did, he saw she was standing behind the door, petrified.

"Five minutes. That's all you have. So you better make it short," he muttered.

He turned on his heel and walked back inside his apartment, towards his coffee table where, as he suddenly remembered, a very welcomed glass of bourbon was still waiting for him. Cuddy swiftly walked in, too, and shut the door behind her, as if she sensed she'd better move fast in case he would change his mind. Once inside, she stayed rooted to her spot by the door, visibly feeling uncomfortable with the situation. Not really knowing what the right thing to do was, she decided to put her purse down on the floor and took her coat off.

"Don't make yourself at home," he snapped. "I said five minutes, and now you only have three left!"

She sucked on her bottom lip, feeling uneasy. There he was again, mean and all sourpuss. He'd probably had too many pills, and too many drinks. That meant he was surely in pain, and as usual would be trying to hide it behind his legendary cantankerousness.

"Ok," he said walking towards her with a glass in his hand. "Tell me what's that boring medical chore you want to assigned me to and then leave!"

Her mouth fell agape in surprise. He thought she'd come because of work? She looked back at him with a bitter smile on her face.

"I'm not here for work," she replied evenly.

The statement was true, and yet she was becoming more and more incapable of explaining the reasons that had first brought her here. She only knew she'd been thinking about him. A lot. For the past two days actually, troubling images of him, caring and gentle had constantly invaded her head mixed with other thoughts of him, as the well-known jerk she was used to dealing with. All of that was quite destabilizing. She'd tried to fight the feeling and had almost managed to, until this afternoon at least, when Wilson had come to her with his story about House wanting to date her. And now she was all confused again and didn't know what to think!

"If it isn't for work then, why are you here?" he asked, interest registering in his tone.

He narrowed his eyes at her, intrigued. His curiosity was undeniably piqued. Now, he had a puzzle to solve… and by the lost look on her face, he could tell it could be a promising one, as there seem to be something intriguing lying underneath the surface. Something that could turn out to be very exciting to experiment on, even if for the moment being he couldn't tell why.

The reason, in fact, was simple: Cuddy wanted to understand. She just wanted to have answers. But she couldn't ask him that straightforwardly, not without risking receiving a sarcastic, deflecting response in return. And, she suddenly was no longer sure she wanted to ask anyway.

"I don't know," she whispered looking down at her feet like a teenage girl who would have been grounded.

"Well, that certainly doesn't help!" he exclaimed, a little taken aback by how puzzled she looked.

"I want… I want you to stop…" she faltered out.

"Stop what?"

"Acting like you do, like, one minute you're all sympathetic and caring with me and then the next one, you turn into that mean jerk again."

"And you drove all the way over here just to tell me _that_?"

She didn't answer because he was right to point this out: there was no rational explanation to her behavior. Or maybe there was one actually, but it was now sadly obvious that she was all wrong about it. How could she be such a fool and hope something good could actually come out of it if she showed up here? She kept staring at her shoes instead, becoming more and more uneasy and most of all angry at herself for being here, feeling even a little bit humiliated because damn, he really wasn't making things easy for her

"O-kay," he said, taking a pause and squinting at her quizzically.

The more he looked at her, the more he was convinced there was something behind her embarrassment; something he didn't dare to expect from her. But nothing could trigger House's irrepressible need to solve puzzles more than this, right there and then. He had to know and he couldn't fight it any longer. He just had to push a button, House's way.

"So which one would you prefer me to be?" he asked in his trademark, provoking fashion that always eventually led him to the truth.

"What?" That last question made her jerk her head up, her eyes meeting his with obvious bafflement.

"I mean which one would turn you on the most? I bet you'd go for the all sympathetic and caring rather than the mean jerk, right? I have the feeling you wouldn't be here otherwise, would you?"

She immediately felt destabilized by this assumption. Yes, she'd come here to be honest and to open up to him; she wanted tell him how she felt. Because she thought he deserved it and that it was time. And things could have been so easy. But instead, he had mocked her and turned this into another one of mind games, just as exhausting as every other. She stared angrily at him but couldn't resolve herself to giving up. She had first needed to know whether or not her being here was completely worthless because this would probably be the last time she'd ever allow herself to hope for something from him if it wasn't.

"I want you to be you. That's all. I want you to be House."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't want you to change," she whispered hesitantly.

"_But_...?" he added, gesturing her to complete her sentence.

She shook her head in dismay, feeling sad and hurt. _Why would he fight this so hard? Why was he incapable of letting go and accept what she had to say?_

He took a few steps towards the piano, and put his glass of bourbon atop its glossy surface. Then he slowly turned around to face her again and, leaning against the instrument, he smiled ironically at her.

"Because obviously, there's a '_but_.' You claim you don't want me to change but then you've come here, so that means you expect me to nonetheless. What is it? Is it about being less of a jerk, more caring, or something else?

"What is wrong with you?" she snapped to stop the uncomfortable feeling of being unfairly besieged.

_Why was she here? Why would she have to endure this? _

"Nothing. What is more interesting is: what is wrong with _you_?"

Her eyes widened in astonishment, as she stomached the sudden and unexpected turn the conversation was taking. She found herself unable to reply and just gazed at him, quite bamboozled.

"Something's different. You act differently. Tell me why? What do you want?"

"Why do you care what I want or don't want anyway," she deflected, tired and annoyed by his cryptic innuendos. Now she really wished for this to end. "_You_'re the one who doesn't know what he wants," she added in a very low voice, almost to herself.

"No. I don't _get_ what I want… there's a slight difference here, see? That's why I keep asking you why you're here… But you won't tell me-"

"Just forget it," she sighed exasperated.

"Ha! Now that would be too easy! You're the one who came to me."

"No. _You_'re the one who came to me".

She straightened up a little, and squared her shoulders challengingly because he had just given her a point, and she intended to seize it and use it to force him to address this in forthright terms. She allowed herself to walk into the living room and approached him near the piano. She clearly saw it in his gaze that what she'd just said had taken him off guard.

"What are you talking about? Last time I checked this was _my_ apartment here…"

"You came to me _first_," she said coming closer. "Yesterday night, you went to my house…"

"What? … But … I…" He looked away, briefly and sighed resignedly, before looking at her with a smirk. "Wilson?"

"Told me everything about it, yes," she completed. "So tell me House, what did you want?"

Quite unexpectedly, he seemed to be a little embarrassed by her question and this acknowledgement almost relieved her. She was right to assume there was something going on.

"I wanted… I wanted to check on you… see if you were ok…"

"And?" she asked hopefully.

"And I did!" he exclaimed petulantly. "I saw you from the outside. You looked fine. Like you didn't need any help or… anyone."

"Is this how you see me House?"

"You sure act like this is how I should!" he snarled.

"What?!..."

Cuddy felt like he'd slapped her. This was impossible: House had built this huge, insuperable wall between him and the rest of the world, to prevent anyone from coming near him and she, naïve and stupid, she'd come to him thinking she would easily tear it down because she was not just anybody to him. But she was wrong. He was just the same with her. And Wilson was wrong. Now she had to go, before she would make a fool of herself and start crying.

"Fine," she said, giving up trying.

"Well, cool. Fine then… Geez! This one was a long one, wasn't it? Are you taking some extra class for this that I'm unaware of because if you are, then the game isn't really fair anymore…" he mocked with a disingenuous pout.

"This isn't a game anymore," she declared disheartened.

"Who said it's ever been one?" he muttered under his breath, his hoarse voice barely above a whisper.

"What did you just say?" Her eyes widened in incredulity, and she hoped she'd heard him right, as she wished what he'd just said meant what she thought it meant. But immediately, she was ruthlessly jolted back to reality.

"I said games should be fun. And this one is becoming everything but fun."

That was it. Nothing right could come out of it. The whole conversation made her feel sick to her stomach, as if she were being trapped in an endless rollercoaster. And House was acting so strangely, she couldn't understand why the hell he was doing this to her.

The tension between them was electrifying. For a second that felt like an eternity to her, she sustained his gaze, studying his reactions, unconsciously imploring him to say something that would fit with the remaining troubled feeling she had had all day, but she couldn't decipher what was hidden behind his eyes. House seemed focused on something else. He was studying her, squinting at her with his piercing, blue gaze as if he was seeking for some truth himself but she wasn't aware of that. She felt shivers riplple through her body as he stared more intensely at her. She turned her eyes away unable to hide the disappointment that had filled them.

"I'm sorry. This is my fault. I should probably never have come here in the first place," she said turning her back on him.

And with a determined pace, she started walking towards the exit.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone!**

**remember where we were? Cuddy was about to leave House's place, his cruel and mean demeanors towards her too painful to stomach...**

**so now here's chapter 6... because House hasn't said his last word yet ... and maybe so hasn't Cuddy, has she?...**

**thank you for reading, thank you MORE for reviewing! :-)**

**and a nice day to you all!**

* * *

**** CHAPTER 6 ****

By the door, she leaned down to take her purse, which she had unthinkingly dropped on the floor when she'd arrived. As she was straightening up, she jumped with fright when she saw House was standing right in front of her, so close to her she was forced to take a step back. She hit the closed door behind her and unconsciously held her purse a little higher in front of her hips, grabbing the handle tighter with both her hands, like she would have with a shield to protect herself. He smiled at her provokingly.

"Oh no, you're not going anywhere. _You_ wanted to talk… and we're not done yet," he said stepping even closer, now practically making her curls sway with every breath he was taking.

She raised her chin up to him, defiantly, and gradually released her hold around the purse's handle, allowing her arms to slightly stretch along her thighs.

"What now? You think you can actually _make _me stay? You don't seriously believe you can stop me from leaving if I want to," she challenged him, hoping to sound assertive, yet shivering a little at the idea that he could.

She was obviously nervous but damn, was she hot! Her eyes were throwing little steel-grey darts at him and her lips were set in anger. She looked so lost and confused. It was as if her body was leaning all tensed against the door, asking him to let her go but, appealing to him with every inch of her skin at the same time. House couldn't take it one more second. Only she could make him feel pangs of emotions like that. Only she could make him lower his guard and allow his feelings to be seen. A stream of desire ran through his veins and he raised his hand to her face to caress her cheek. She slightly shrank back a bit, almost unnoticeably, but he definitely noticed it. He froze instantly and clenched his jaws. A feeling of hurt mingled with sadness passed behind his gaze as he stared back at her.

"What was that?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in astonishment

"What was what?"

"You shrank at the vision of my hand rising up to your face. I wanna know why."

"I didn't shrink," she denied.

"Yes you did," he stated, his voice becoming louder. "What were you thinking? That I was going to hit you?"

"Of course not! I… just…I," she stammered, turning her head away to avoid his glare.

But then, she realized how much just the idea of that could be hurtful to him, whereas the thought hadn't even crossed her mind to begin with. She was simply tired and maybe feeling a bit uneasy. If anything, her unconscious shrink had been nothing but a proof of that.

"You think I'm actually capable of that?" House insisted, staring even more intensely at her as if he were looking for some hidden clue in the depth of her gaze.

Cuddy realized her best way out of this argument was to subtly let it slide to a more objective level. She gently let her purse slide along her legs to free her hands. Pushing them against the door to pull herself up, she straightened up and stared back in his eyes just as deeply.

"Haven't you already proven that you were, indeed, capable of it?" she provoked, regaining a little self-confidence in this ever true statement. "At least, so can testify several of your close co-workers and friends, not to mention the dozen of patients you've assaulted in the past years, while you were under either drug or alcohol effects, or both."

"Wilson and Chase are men," he answered bitterly, immediately understanding her allusion. "Maybe they're the wuss kind, but that thing they've got in their pants helped them deal with it anyway. As to the patients you're mentioning, all men as well - if I may point out - I'm pretty sure I had very good reasons to do that. _Medical_ reasons that surely saved their lives, eventually…

Cuddy tried to hide the grin of irritation she was unwillingly showing, knowing that House was not entirely wrong, at least for the biggest part of it.

"But _you,_" he carried on, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You're a _woman_. You want to pretend you're strong and tough, but you're nothing but a little frail thing that would be too easy to beat up… and yet, you thought I could hit you anyway. You thought since I'm nothing more than a poor cripple, I can only measure up with women? In that it?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"Why are you screwing with me?"

"Ha. You only _wish_ I were!" he shouted, laughing frantically. "Too bad for you: your recent, increasing lack of sex appeal, what with you struggling to be this workaholic, annoying bitch you think you need to be, thankfully prevented me from making that huge mistake."

"I never was the one willing to-" she objected, only referring to the very beginning of his comment and ignoring the rest of it, for she knew it was only pure provocation designed to escalate their argument.

"Yeah, sure! You forget about the other night. You were practically clinging to me, like a koala on its tree branch; your whiny body begging for me to stay."

"That's not true!" she protested somewhat offended by his assumption. "_You_ took advantage of me because I was vulnerable and weak in a moment of despair. _You_ stepped forward and kissed me!"

"And _I_ left, remember? Is that what you're calling 'taking advantage of the situation'? Truth is, now you're mad at me because you wanted me to stay back then. Just as much as you want to stay right now."

"I don't want to stay," she denied

"Yes, you do!" he contradicted her, suddenly leaning forwards and placing his hands against the door on both sides of her shoulders. "You don't want to leave but you're _hoping_ that by _pretending_ you do, I'll maybe beg you to stay. We both know what you came here for, but you'd hate it if it sounded too beseeching. So you'd rather fake your leaving than admit you're into me. Big time!"

"You're insane," she retorted grimly.

"Oh! Is that your way of saying: '_damn right, House. You totally read me like a book!'_ Coz you just found a way more convenient word for it! Why don't you try to patent it? I'm sure there're plenty of annoyingly fickle females of your kind that'd make you insanely rich with their systematic use of it…"

"You, son of a bitch… just let me go," she spouted through clenched teeth

"Give me just one reason to believe that it's really what you want," he whispered teasingly, leaning down closer to her face.

"I can give you plenty," she replied, gulping back a gasp, as a slight shiver ran up and down her spine.

"Name one," he demanded provokingly. He was standing so close to her, he could feel the warmth of her breath brush his chin.

"Because," she started, pushing him back away from her with her palm on his chest to allow her to regain some personal space. "You're a pain in the ass who only does what he wants whenever he wants to, regardless of the rules, should they apply to friendship or work or whatever requires an interaction with a human being. Because you're stubborn as a mule, never ever willing to admit you're wrong when you are which, like it or not, occasionally happens..."

Although she'd undeniably poked his pride, he defiantly kept on sustaining her glare. Her beautiful light-blue eyes irrepressibly became watery and he noticed her rapidly winking a tear away, as she was trying to stay strong and focused. Seeing her so determined to make her point and so fragile at the same time touched him. He was the one being insulted but he was also the one feeling guilty. He knew he deserved every word she'd said. She was right. But then, he suddenly saw pain in her eyes as she finally stated:

"Because you're an egocentric jerk who thinks he doesn't need anyone."

And it crushed him.

"You're wrong about this one," he replied, looking down at his feet. "I need _you__." _That last part came out in a hoarse and shattered whisper before he had the time to repress it.

Was it because he'd sensed pity underneath her words or because he was afraid she might actually believe they were true that had hurt him the most, he couldn't tell. But, as soon as he'd heard them coming out of her mouth, through her shaking but perfectly framed lips, he'd known for sure he wanted that silly game to end. Even if he felt terrorized by that admission and the obviously bigger step it could lead them to take.

Cuddy's mouth dropped open upon hearing House's confession which, by the rasping tone of it, could only mean he wasn't talking about their professional relationship. Those three words had sounded like something she no longer dared to expect from him: a simple and absolutely genuine statement, devoid of all malice. Still, the very idea that it could remotely be something else than just a joke, whatever something _that_ may be, completely destabilized her. While she was focused on her own emotions, she barely noticed the hurt behind House's eyes. So she was more than a little taken aback when he suddenly straightened himself up and released her free by taking a step backwards. She was even more stunned when he then grabbed her by the arms and gently but firmly pushed her aside from the door. Once he was done, he opened it wide, making it clear that he wanted her out of his apartment. Bending to the side, he reached for his cane and started to walk back inside without looking at her.

"You can close the door once outside," he said over his shoulder, pacing towards his couch with difficulty and rubbing his leg to reduce the pain he probably felt after having stood for too long without his cane.

Watching him limp painfully like this, Cuddy suddenly felt overwhelmed by guilt. '_This is stupid_' she thought. How could two people like House and her, so infinitely in need to receive a little tenderness and attention, keep pushing the other one away like they did? If only they were able to see beyond the shield they were holding on to, to protect themselves, maybe a bit of happiness could come out of both their damaged and deprived personalities…

In a quick and thoughtless move - not really willing to decide whether she would regret it or not - Cuddy shut the door again and let her coat and purse fall on the floor. She practically ran towards House and caught up with him before he had time to pace half way into his living room. Resolutely, she walked round him and stood in front of him, blocking his way and preventing him from taking a step forward, moving whenever needed if he tried to walk past her.

Realizing she was not willing to quit, House gave up trying and stared at her, aggravated. Damn! No woman had the power to drive him nuts like she did! Had it only been up to him, he would have gotten rid of all that stupid tension and fucked her right there and then. Furiously… Or made love to her. He wasn't quite sure how to define that urge he felt growing inside him. He only knew that it was there, somehow, because of this undeniable _thing_ he was feeling whenever she was around him. He couldn't put a word to it, didn't want to anyway but, he couldn't keep pretending like it didn't exist. But after the ever hurtful and yet true comments she'd said about him, he was mostly trying very hard to convince himself that she'd certainly be better off without him constantly jerking her around; because, as he had once again pitifully demonstrated, and no matter how much he hated himself for this, he'd just been a complete ass. Again. He couldn't help it. And it infuriated him.

And yet, none of this was a joke. He wanted to pretend that it didn't matter but that was just a sweet little lie. One that he was telling to himself and to her to avoid dealing with his feelings; and the fact that he was so afraid she might find out about them gave him was further proof that he was not ready to deal with whatever they meant. All of that was pointless anyway because Cuddy wanted a baby. She didn't want a man, and even more less him. There was no place for him in her life.

"Move out of my way," he ordered harshly.

"No!"

Unmoved by her resistance, he raised his cane towards her.

"Move out of my way or I'll beat you up."

Cuddy's eyes widened in disbelief but she soon regained composure and, most unexpectedly, she looked up at him with a fond gaze.

"No, you won't," she said, smiling.

"Jesus fuck!"

He sighed heavily, clearly exasperated. Of course now, she was waiting for him to be that needy man he had stupidly confessed that he was! He should have never told her that… What was wrong with him? But damn, how was he supposed to resist her? He wanted her so badly… In that very moment, it almost hurt just to look at her. _Get a grip_ _House!_ he inwardly berated himself. He covered his face with his hands and for a few seconds, he furiously rubbed his forehead as if he were trying to remove something from inside his head. Resignedly, he finally lifted up his face again and stared at her, looking completely and touchingly lost.

"You don't want this," he said offering her a begging 'I'm-SORRY-forgive-me-BUT-just-GO-now!' smile.

Cuddy sucked in a sharp breath but didn't budge. Stubbornly, almost childishly, she kept standing in front of him, waiting for him to do something, encouraging him with a shy smile.

It was too much for him to bear. Her body was barely at an arm's length; her head, imperceptibly tilted backward so she could look him in the eyes, was unconsciously exposing the sensual curve of her neck and her lips were displaying the sexiest, most mischievous pout.

"Dammit Cuddy!" he moaned, throwing his head back towards the ceiling

He closed his eyes, hoping it would make her disappear and spare him that painful struggle he was desperately trying to win against himself. But when he opened his eyes again, she was still there, staring at him and flashing that adorable, albeit hesitant smile at him. She took a step forwards and he couldn't resist any longer.

* * *

**ok... so ... do you REALLY want me to post what's next? please leave me a review and tell me what you think...**

**I'm going on vacation today, but fortunately I'll have internet access so, if you **_**want**_** it, I'll post the next chapters on a regular basis... but I can't know that if you keep silent, can I? ;-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone!**

**here's another chapter... where you'll find out why this story is M-rated...**

**I hope you'll enjoy it and of course please, leave a review to tell me what you think...**

**because I have more to post... if you want, that is... ;-)**

* * *

**** CHAPTER 7 ****

House let his cane fall on the floor to free both his hands and grabbed her by the wrist, pulling her to him with passionate urgency. Immediately responding to his call, she gripped his shoulders to reach his face and let him claim her mouth without restraint. Her head was slightly tilted back and she completely surrendered to his kiss. He devoured her mouth, thrust his tongue between her teeth and she savored his taste, too, tickling his tongue with hers, pushing it out on the edge of her lips and sucking it back inside, nibbling at the pulp of his lips. They were drinking each other greedily, as if they'd been walking through a dry desert and had finally found an oasis to quench their thirst.

House placed his hand on the small of her back and compellingly pressed her against his erection, letting her undoubtedly know how furiously he wanted her. She moaned hoarsely through his lips when she felt his hard member against her hipbone, and the promise of what was about to happen sent a twinge of lust into her stomach. The overflowing desire inside her body made her have a dizzy spell and with her left hand, she clutched his shirt's lapels and clung to it. When he felt her slightly losing her balance, he tightened his embrace and put one hand behind her neck but after a short while, feeling overwhelmed and dizzy as well, House broke away from their kiss and placed his forehead against hers for a short moment, to try and slow down his breath, while hers caressed his bottom lip. The sensation was entrancing and this time, unlike that night at her place where he'd walked away from her after their passionate kiss, he knew they wouldn't be able to stop the course of events and resist that voluptuous call much longer.

The violence of their impulse towards each other needed release. They both felt an irrepressible urge to explore each other deeper, like the irrational need to conquer an uncharted territory. The craving was making them ache, sending electrifying waves inside their bodies, powerfully invading their brains, filling their veins with a streaming desire that went flowing to their hearts, making it pound louder and faster against each other's chest.

House firmly and decidedly pulled her back against him, harder, grabbing her hips to tighten his embrace and picked her up off the floor. Steadily, high on endorphins and almost without feeling the slightest pain in his leg, he carried her to the piano. As soon as she felt herself lifted up from the ground, Cuddy wrapped her arms around his neck to help him move with her body along his. While he guided their bodies tangled in one, moving his hands under her perfect ass cheeks to keep her up, she buried her face in his neck, biting his earlobe, kissing and gently licking his skin, before biting again.

Once at the piano, he cautiously put her down on the floor. He tried to think straight while he still could, breathing fast, each beat of his heart echoing into his ears. Cuddy's hands made their way to his pants' buckle but he moved them away before she could start to undo it.

He took a step back, still holding her wrists tightly inside his hands to maintain a reasonable distance between them. Their eyes met and he intensely stared at her, conveying with the power of his gaze only the force of his desire, at the same time making sure that she wanted this as much as he did. She imperceptibly nodded, and without taking her eyes off of his, she twirled her wrists in his hands to free herself from his grasp. With hooded eyes, still silent, she leaned back against the grand piano and held out her hand in an inviting gesture. When he took it, eyes still locked with hers, she smiled teasingly and avidly yanked him towards her. As soon as they were clasped in each other's arms, they began to kiss again, roughly, demandingly, never getting enough of every inch of skin exposed to their lips.

There was no doubt that they were now both tremendously willing for this…

Cuddy arched back against the piano and House leaned down to her, burying his face in her cleavage. He rubbed his nose along the hem of her blouse and breathed in deeply. Her smell was driving him crazy: subtle mix of body scent and a light citrus perfume that seemed to have been created just for her. He needed more of that smell, her smell... While kissing her silky skin, his hands reached out for her shirt buttons and he began to undo them deftly, one by one. Drawing her shirt-tails apart, he revealed a black lacy underwire bra that cupped her breasts just perfectly and sucked in a sharp breath. He slid his fingers between the bra and her left breast and brushed her nipple with the tip of his index, smiling at her while he studied her reaction to what he was doing to her. She gasped for air and grabbed a full strand of his hair at the base of his neck, tipping her head backwards to give him better access.

Freeing one of her breasts out of its cup, House gently took the areola in his mouth, softly licking her erect nipple with the tip of his tongue. Her chest expanded on a deep breath and he pulled back to look up, smiling mischievously at her as he kept fondling her curves with his fingers. There was no denying the fact that every one of her reactions was the best of his retributions. He couldn't help studying her face, the way her mouth was slightly open, or how her eyes glittered with that unmistakable sparkle of desire. She stared back at him, smiling too, but her gaze implored him to move on to the next step. Teasingly, he placed her breast back inside the bra cup and waited a few seconds for her reaction.

An almost painful moan came out from the depth of her throat and she tugged at his shirt to help herself straightening up. Compellingly, she rubbed her hips against his and impatiently started to undress him. She got rid of his shirt buttons without even glancing at her hands, too busy kissing his neck and collarbone. Without wasting any more seconds, she peeled the shirt off of him and hastily threw it on the floor. His tee-shirt followed soon after, joining the shirt on the ground.

Visibly satisfied with the result, Cuddy laid her palms flat on his bare chest and began stroking it possessively. Soon craving more, she leaned down and trailed greedy kisses everywhere on his torso, nibbling his nipples. Impatiently, he peeled her off her blouse and unhooked her bra, freeing her beautiful and flawless breasts. She came closer and gently rubbed her ivory skin against his, all the while tracing long and winding lines with her fingernails on his back, going up and down his spine, and round his hips to caress his abdomen. It was House's turn to moan, hoarsely. His hard cock was now aching inside his pants. He closed his eyes to let the delightful, soothing sensation invade his body. He felt overwhelmed, powerful and totally high on endorphins. But he couldn't stay passive for too long, already craving her body again. He bent to her breasts to kiss them again, this time sucking the areola into his mouth and nibbling her erect nipple harder, almost leaving bite marks on her skin.

"Oh god, yes," she sighed, arching the small of her back.

Her yearning had come to its climax. She reached out for his jeans' zipper and opened it to grab his cock in her hand. Enveloping the throbbing member with her slender hand, she began stroking it up and down its length and he couldn't take it anymore. He cupped her face in his hands and took her mouth to kiss her.

"We need to move," he mumbled through her lips.

"No. Here. Now," she replied, pushing his jeans and boxers down with impatience.

He took a small step back and looked at her in awe. What he felt for her in that moment was indescribable but it completely took hold of him, all at once, almost painfully. Without taking his eyes off of her, he seized the hem of her shirt in his hands and lifted the fabric up along her thighs. When his fingertips came in contact with the lace of her stockings, he groaned his approval, as if meaning "_way to go girl!_" She shot him a coy look, answering "_what else did you expect?_" and they both smiled at each other, amazed by that powerful, silent language only they were able to share.

He fondled her thighs, trailing his hands higher between her legs and slid his fingers underneath her panties. She shuddered, intoxicated by her own craving for him and he pushed one finger into her core. She was wet and so ready for him, the sensation overwhelmed him. Not wanting to wait any longer, he clasped her waist and helped her hop up on the piano. With the palm of his hand pressed against her lower abdomen, he motioned her to lie down then firmly pulled her hips to the edge of the piano. She docilely complied and stretched her back, lying down on the black wooden surface.

He grabbed her panties, hastily slid it along her legs and offhandedly threw it behind him. Then, in a train of rapid and organized gestures, he finished getting rid of his jeans and boxer, removing his sneakers and socks as well. She looked at him, his naked body standing in front of her, ready to take her and bit her bottom lip. He positioned himself between her legs and grabbed her thighs in his hands, hooking them around his waist. With one hand under her ass cheek to steady her, he guided himself inside her in one powerful thrust and she gasped at the sensation of him finally filling her. Firmly holding her body against his hips, he began to move inside her, alternating gentle and long thrusts with quick and hard ones. Small pearls of sweat started forming on her abdomen and he bent down to lick her skin, tickling her belly button with the tip of his tongue. She cupped the back of his head with her hands and combed his hair with her fingertips. Rocking her hips as much as her position allowed her, she was pushing him away from her then capturing him again inside her core. Their bodies had found the perfect rhythm and soon, he began swaying his hips in sync with hers, pushing her when she pulled, pulling her when she pushed…

"Please, don't stop," she whispered, short of breath. "Don't stop."

"You've gotta stay still then, or I won't be able to last much longer," he warned breathless, too.

Cuddy instantly propped herself on her elbows and looked at him with a broad smile. She used his shoulders for leverage and sat up straight. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she stopped moving and snuggled up to him, burying her face in his neck and gently brushing his skin with her wet lips.

"Having a problem controlling yourself?" she teased, whispering in his ear between kisses.

Above her shoulder, House smiled in delight. This woman was so incredibly perfect. She was just a miracle happening, and happening now… He grabbed her ass cheeks tighter and thrust hard and deep inside her, sending a voluptuous shiver down her spine that ran from her neck to the small of her back in one quivering wave.

"Nope! I'm fine," he answered in the same bantering tone.

She let out a throaty laugh and squeezed him harder with her legs. He seized her by the waist and kept on fucking her, going in and out of her like the unchanging motion of the ocean tide. She enfolded him in her arms and groaned in pleasure.

"Faster!" she panted.

House complied and speeded up his movements. Soon, he felt her tremble in his arms as he was going faster and faster.

"You're right there," she moaned, tilting her head back.

A long and epileptic shudder shook her whole body.

"Now, who's losing control?" he asked her, almost out of breath, carrying on his back and forth hip sways and beginning to quake himself.

He felt the wave about to explode and he gave one last, hard thrust inside her, filling her with his semen. He clasped her to his chest and let the living sensation slowly spread in him. Then he leaned down to her collarbone and kissed her avidly, burying his face between her breasts. She clung to him and smiled while they both let the orgasm effects withdraw from their sweaty and fulfilled bodies.


	8. Chapter 8

**HI EVERYONE!**

**thank you SO much for the reviews! :-) I'm still on vacation and each time I get the chance to connect, finding your comments makes my day**

**so here's another chapter... all Huddy again...**

**I hope you'll enjoy it**

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**** CHAPTER 8 ****

They remained still for a moment, warmly curled up in each other's embrace, their head resting atop each other's shoulder, as they were trying to recover from what had just happened. House was gently caressing her back when he felt her slightly shiver in his arms.

"Wow!" he said, chuckling. "I really am that good!"

She smacked him playfully on the side of his arm. "Don't praise yourself," she scolded, however with a giggling voice. "I'm just cold!"

She heard him laugh quietly above her shoulder.

"Yeah sure, you are," he faked to approve with a voice that said the exact opposite.

She smiled, but the truth was she actually felt a little bit chilly and it had nothing to do with her orgasmic high.

"Try lying naked on this frosty piano sometimes and we'll see if you're not cold," she said sulkily.

He gently freed himself from their embrace, and held her chin up to study her face, amused. She pouted, and conspicuously shuddered.

"Come here," he said holding her by the waist and helping her hop off of the piano.

She slowly slid along his still naked body and instantly noticed the sudden surge of renewed desire that the friction had given him. Locking eyes with him, she sent him a quizzical look, undeniably filled with a similar longing. As an answer, he came closer to her and placed his hands behind her back to unzip the skirt that she'd kept on. She quickly got rid of it, impatiently wriggling her butt and making the skirt slide along her legs in two quick sways of hips. Looking down at her left thigh, she proceeded to take off her stockings next but, when he understood what she was doing, he promptly grabbed her hand and moved it away from her leg.

"Don't you dare take that off!" he protested in a gravelly voice, his eyes still locked with hers.

She smiled mischievously, relishing the power she indisputably felt she had over him in that very moment. In a confident move, she grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands and firmly pressed her naked body against his.

"Fine, but my pick now," she said, looking up with a determined but beaming face.

House's eyebrows arched up in surprise, but there was no denying the fact that he was mostly impressed by her assertiveness and in no way willing to resist her command. Until that very second, in spite of all the fantasies he'd had about her over the years, he could have only guessed she would be _that kind_ of woman and God, did he like that about her! He felt enthralled, won over and totally trapped under her spell…

"Name your spot!" he replied greedily and already more than ready for the next ride.

"Sofa," she breathed out, promptly pulling him in its direction.

They literally waltzed towards the couch, dangerously staggering at each step, but incapable of letting go of each other's embrace, nonetheless. Despite his leg, which was starting to make him pay back for his reckless standing-against-the-piano sexcapade, House held her tight and still remained steady on his two feet until they made it to the sofa. Wasting no time, Cuddy put her palms on his chest and made him topple backward on the couch eagerly. House leaned against the backrest and docilely waited for her to join him. But she didn't move and kept standing in front of him, totally naked, except for her pair of black stockings, looking down at him with a mischievous smile. She'd turned the tables on him and was making the most of it, pretending to hesitate about what she would do next, teasing him. Unable to deal with the torturous wait she was making him endure, House sat up straight, grabbed her hand and, without a warning, yanked her forward. She fell into his arms, a knee on each side of his thighs.

"Stop torturing me, you witch!" he groaned, seizing her by the hips and positioning her on top of him so she would straddle him.

She resisted and pushed him backward against the backrest. Smiling playfully, he rested his hands on her thighs, just at the hem of her stockings and caressed the lace with his fingertips.

"Tssk," she said frowning. "You're not allowed to do that!"

"Oh yes, I am! You cannot wear _this_ and expect me to just sit there doing nothing," he said, his eyes hooded with lust.

"Watch me," she teased, as she removed his hands from her thighs.

His mouth dropped open and he stared at her, half amazed by her sassiness, half really turned-on by her game.

"Oh really? And why is that?" he asked, amused.

"Because I said so."

"No. You only said you'd pick your spot, not that…"

"Shut up," she ordered, smiling. "I'm your boss. I'm making the rules."

He eyes widened in pure wonderment.

"Role-playing on the first night? I must have died and gone to heaven," he joked, grabbing her hips and pulling her down to him again.

She slapped him on the shoulder and he held his hands up in the air in surrender.

"Okay, okay! Anything you want is totally fine by me," he said, beaming. "Like I always say: never mess with the boss!"

"You never say that!" she exclaimed, rolling her eyes and flashing a knowing smile at him.

"Maybe," he admitted. "But believe me, sometimes I really do _think_ that… like I do right now…"

She looked at him tenderly and leaned down to kiss him.

"You talk too much," she told him between kisses. "Shut up and just enjoy _my_ rules..."

She placed her hands on his shoulders and gently motioned him to lie down on the couch. House complied and instinctively took his injured leg inside his hands to alleviate the effort of lifting his dead muscle. She felt the immediate need to help him get comfortable and gently moved his hands away to take care of it herself. Afraid that he might think her gesture was motivated by a feeling of pity while it was, in fact, nothing but genuine tenderness, she glanced up at him with apprehension but he smiled at her with fondness. Relieved, Cuddy smiled back and positioned herself on top of him, leaning over his torso to kiss her way around his nipples, sometimes just brushing her cheeks against his silky salt and pepper chest hair. An appreciative moan escaped his lips and she trailed down lower using her hands to prop herself up above his body. She reached his belly button and tickled it with the tip of her tongue, while her hands leisurely began stroking his thighs. Her fingers brushed the hole in his scarred skin and House hissed, his body involuntarily tensing up under her touch. Cuddy froze and removed her hand from his injured leg.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked, looking up at him with concern.

He stared at her with a sorry gaze and held out his hand to caress the side of her cheek with his fingertips.

"No," he simply stated, his voice low. "Keep going…"

Not so subtly, he cupped the back of her skull with his hand and applied a slight pressure to guide her lower. She shot him a perfectly faked glare and he smiled unapologetically in return.

"_Please?_" he added, with a boyish grin.

She rolled her eyes, pretending to be upset for a second but it was pointless to try and fool herself when the truth was she was craving that moment just as much as he was. With her head down, she smiled to herself and leaned down to his groin.

Still, she deliberately took her time and continued to kiss him, on his hipbone, above his pubic hair, rubbing her nose against his skin but never touching his cock with her lips. House groaned in frustration and she laughed victoriously when he unconsciously thrust up, his hips bucking up impatiently.

"You're a cruel, cruel woman," he protested, his tone undeniably teasing however.

"Really?" she said, just as she wrapped her hands around his hard shaft, looking up at him with an innocent pout.

He caressed her face and a glimpse of melancholy passed behind his eyes as he intensely stared back at her.

"I don't know," he whispered hoarsely with disarming honesty.

The sincerity of his confession overwhelmed her and, in that very moment, she realized she didn't want to play anymore. This wasn't a game, after all. She'd never intended it to be one and, more than anything, she wanted him to know that as well. She covered his hand with hers and slid it away from her face before bending down to his cock again. She wrapped her lips around the tip and took it in her mouth, eliciting a voluptuous, almost relieved sigh from him. He still tasted like sperm mixed with her juices from their previous orgasm and the reminder intoxicated her. She sucked him avidly, licking the crest and running her tongue along the course of his veins until she could feel his length swell inside her mouth. Before he could reach his climax, she stopped and promptly straightened up to climb her way back up above him. House groaned his disapproval but she straddled him and reached out for his cock, guiding him inside her for the second time that night. All trace of protestation quickly disappeared from his face as soon as she lowered herself onto him and he was sheathed deep inside her core again. He placed his hands on each side of her hips and she bent down, cradling his face in her palms and claiming his mouth with her own. Greedily, he thrust his tongue between her lips and powerfully thrust upward to penetrate her deeper.

She gasped and parted from the kiss to sit up straight, arching back and offering her curves to his caresses. He cupped her breasts and captured the tip of her erect nipples between his thumb and index fingers, pinching just hard enough to send jolts of pleasuring pain through her body. She cried out and tilted her head back, closing her eyes, selfishly turning her focus inward for a moment to let the growing waves gradually fill her. Her hands were resting flat on his chest and she was swaying her hips both up-and-down and in round motions, rubbing his groin with her movements and creating the perfect friction to stimulate her clit. House firmly clasped her waist and followed her pendulum, feeling the orgasm pervade him, too. His breaths became unmistakably louder and shallower and she opened her eyes to look at him. He was staring at her with a piercing gaze. When their eyes met, she sucked in a sharp breath, shaken by the intensity of his silent stare on her and his grip tightened around her waist, as if he were trying to imprison her in his embrace, keep her joined with him forever. Feeling drawn to him, she dived to his face and kissed him greedily, sucking and biting the pulp of his lips. He enveloped her skull with his hands and combed her hair with his fingers. She broke away from their kiss and buried her face in his neck, rubbing her nose along the shell of his ear.

"What are you doing to me?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

His words instantly triggered a pleasuring spasm in her womb and she almost climaxed just there and then just at the sound of them.

"Are you close?" she panted, trying to catch her breath.

"I can hold it back, but not for long" he confessed.

"Me neither," she told him.

She'd implicitly given her the signal to let go and so he did. Digging his fingernails into her flesh, he gripped her tightly and began to shove hard and fast into her, relentlessly, making her bounce up and down above him. She held on to his shoulders, and threw her head back, biting her bottom lip to repress a shout.

"Yes, come for me, Cuddy. Just like that. Come on," he coaxed.

The male, confident tone of his voice was her undoing. She arched back even more and her thighs started to tremble. Without a warning, House promptly sat up straight and welcomed her in his arms just when the shivering waves of orgasm took hold of his body and they both came loudly, in perfect sync. Successive jolts of shivers shook Cuddy's body. She tensed up, froze then relaxed and finally, she collapsed in his arms and snuggled up against his chest. Ecstatic himself, not daring to say a word, he held her in silent, inhaling her smell and feeling absolutely fulfilled.

After a while, he gently pulled himself out of her, quickly guiding her back on his lap where she sat willingly, feeling too unsteady to move. House studied her face, to print the image in his memory: the gorgeous Lisa Cuddy, seated naked on top of him and radiating sex afterglow. She stared at him groggily, with a blissful smile on her lips. She looked so fragile and strong at the same time, her beautiful eyes sparkling, tiny beads of sweat rolling down her body, from her neck to her round breasts, lower on her belly and down again…

In that time-suspended moment, as he was staring at her, holding her naked body so close to his, the thought that he could really become mad about her hit him full force. She had the power to become an addiction, even more dangerous than any of the ones he had experienced before. He didn't quite expect the sensation to be so strong, and even less so sudden. He felt a pang tug at this heart strings and, not really used to dealing with such violent emotions, he quickly looked away. Hoping that it would freeze the moment in time, he simply squeezed her tighter to keep her close to him instead, and laid a soft kiss on the round shape of her shoulder

# # # # #

Cuddy was overwhelmed by emotions, too. She was a little dizzy because of all the energy the two orgasms had taken out of her. But it had been a perfectly delightful dizziness… House had held her in his arms and squeezed her tight against his chest and she'd felt absolutely fulfilled. He'd been gentle and tender to her and just right after their shared high, she hadn't failed to notice the way he'd stared at her with an intense gaze, which had blissfully hit her. Time had stopped and for a moment she had sensed she was right where she belonged, in a place where nothing other than the here and now mattered.

And yet… knowing House like she thought she did, she also felt puzzled a little and couldn't tell why. Even more when for no reason, at least none she could explain, he had turned his gaze away from her. It was as if he had left the room and she wished she could know what his thoughts were but, he still remained a mystery to her, even after the very intimate moment they'd just shared.

Although desperately feeling the need to cuddle up against his sweaty, naked body and let herself drown in his warm embrace until she would fall asleep, she couldn't repress the urge to process the whole event, starting back from the beginning of that night, when he had opened the door to her…

Why did they fight? Why was it so hard for him to open up? And why did she stay anyway, despite his cruel manner and the way he had made her feel like he wanted her out of his apartment? What did she want?

Had she made the right choice when she'd decided to stay?

They had sex. They just had sex. _Twice_. And it had felt so damn special and amazing. It was like they had been doing that together forever… But was it just that: an undeniable physical connection between a man and a woman who knew what they wanted and knew how to get it? Or was there something else? Now, they were sitting enfolded in each other's arms on his sofa, naked and suddenly, she could _hear_ the silence. An awkward and terrifying silence, so heavy she had an out of the body experience and felt herself float in the room, above their joined bodies, witnessing the scene. She felt paralyzed. Paralyzed and anxious. What was going to happen next?

Suddenly, House moved his hips underneath her thighs and she was jolted awake from her moment of reverie. She looked down at him and he smiled at her. Gently taking her by the shoulders, he motioned her to the side and she lifted herself up to allow him to move away from her. Sitting on the couch, she watched him stand up. She felt suddenly so aware of her nudity that she shrank and rolled into a ball, wrapping her arms around her legs.

"Cold?" he asked.

She nodded to avoid having to lie and confessing that 'no', it was just an unexpected and cumbersome moment of uneasiness. Without a word, House nodded back and walked away from her. Within a few steps from the sofa, he mechanically stooped down to pick up his cane. Next to the piano, he found his boxer shorts lying on the floor. He reached down for them, put them back on and walked to the closet to retrieve a blanket. Back to the couch, he handed it to her so she could wrap herself in. She took it and quickly curled herself up inside the soft cloth. Watching her with an undecipherable gaze, he waited until she was done and leaned down to lay a soft kiss on her lips.

"Don't fall asleep," he said. "I'll be right back."

And he limped out of the living room and down the hallway. A few moments later, she heard the sound of flowing water coming from the bathroom. She felt a twinge of sorrow, for no rational reason, as she read that sound as the sign that House was probably taking a shower and she felt a little bit disappointed to have been left alone without an explanation.

# # # # #

In the bathroom, House opened the faucets of the tub and shut the plug to run a bath. Soon, hot steam invaded the air, warming up the room. While the water was flowing and filling the tub, he rummaged in the drawers under the sink but after a loud search, he slammed them shut with a heavy sigh. He looked up at his own reflection in the mirror. It was mist-steamed, but he noticed it nonetheless. He wiped the surface with his hand to clear the steam and bent over closer to the mirror.

There he was, with a smile on his face. He forcefully rubbed his cheeks to erase the unusual image from his features. But when he pulled his hands off, it was still there; and surprisingly, it just made him smile broader. Yet, when he thought about it, what was there to be delighted about?

Was it the fact that as soon as he had seen her at his door, he'd felt a rush of emotions mess up his mind? Or maybe, that he'd just had fucking amazing good sex? Or that, when he'd seen her shiver on his couch, he had instantly thought about running a hot bath for her? Or, that he'd just _really_ looked into _his_ bathroom drawers to find some scented bath salts just to please her? Because out of nowhere, he had thought she would enjoy it… Or that maybe, he'd been rather able to bear the pain in his leg, without even thinking about it since she'd come? Or, surely, it was just because, as he was looking at the hot steamy water approach the rim of the tub, he couldn't repress all the naughty thoughts about what they could do in that bath from popping up in his mind?

He took a deep breath and the smile suddenly faded on his face. Happiness… Or the shadow of it? He was so not used to the feeling anymore. How could he know what it was like anyway? Happiness wasn't his thing. Nothing good had ever come out of it in his life.

He'd grown up learning to distrust it, because each time he had tasted just a little of it, something had gone wrong. When he was a little boy, he wanted to love his dad like every other kids did, but for no reason, it seemed that the more he was willing to please him and make him proud, the more his father hated him. Very early on, he'd been forced to learn how to build a life based on principles that he knew would not disappoint him: Science, Truth, Self. Then he'd met Stacy, and he had started to believe again… But he'd paid the price of his naivety the hard way because, after his infarction, not only had he ended up with a piece of muscle taken out of his leg, but he'd lost her, too, and when she had left him, she had taken a piece of another muscle away with her. From his heart.

Never trust anyone, never show weakness, never hope for better things to come…

House stared at the mirror. In front of him, he saw a man half-naked, confused, drawn and alone. He clenched his jaws, and turned his head away, avoiding his reflection. The bathtub was now full so he leaned over the faucets and turned the water off. He sighed heavily, feeling lost, but then he thought of her, curled up in a ball, wrapped in his blanket, alone on his sofa, too, and waiting for him. She'd come to him. She had bared herself for him, both metaphorically and actually. Shouldn't he be blessed that a woman like her would wait for him naked in his living room? Sure there were better things to do than pitying his poor self in front of his mirror.

A shadow of a smile lit his face and suddenly, he felt the uncontainable need to hold her in his arms again, warm her and bring her close to his chest, feel her breath brush his collarbone. Tonight, whatever may come, he only wanted to fall asleep with her body along his wounded one...

He walked out of the bathroom and hurried towards the living room. Half-way down the hallway, he found himself unable to wait any longer and called out to her.

"Hey, Cuddy! Come get your big ass in here!"

He listened carefully for her answer, but only received silence in reply. "_She fell asleep,_" he thought at first. Then he realized his bantering routine about her ass must have grown old and she was probably purposely ignoring him so he knew she was angry; but joking about the size of her ass was not that big an insult. He'd always said things like that to her and she'd always laughed at it, at least ignored it. She knew it was meaningless and that it was just part of the teasing game. Truth be said, he had nothing to complain about her ass, as it was the most beautiful, perfectly sized ass he'd ever seen.

"C'mon Cuddy!" he said, entering the living room. "I swear I won't spill a single word about your truly gigantic rear measurements."

He stopped as soon as he made the first step in the room and immediately noticed all the little details that screamed it to his face: the blanket was resting, neatly folded, on top on the sofa's backrest. Her clothes weren't randomly lying on the floor anymore. Neither was her purse, nor her coat near the door… all gone.

There were only three words to sum it up: she had left.

House looked all around his living room in bewilderment. Then he looked down at his feet and stood there for an eternity in the emptiness of his apartment, alone and miserable. He shot a quick glance at his coffee table and spotted the bottle of bourbon. He walked around the sofa and leaned down to grab it. Then, limping heavily, he paced back in the bathroom with the bottle in his hand.

There, he bent to pull the bathtub plug and watched the water being sucked down into the pipe. He unscrewed the bourbon's bottle cap and lifted the neck to his mouth. Catching his reflection in the mirror, he stopped just before swallowing the first sip and stared at himself with bitterness. He smirked and chinked the bottle's neck with the mirror glass. "Cheers, cripple freak!" he muttered to his reflection.

# # # # #

Outside, it was cold. In her haste to go out, Cuddy hadn't exactly taken all the time she needed to get her clothes properly on. She'd gotten dressed half decently and had gathered the rest of her stuff in her arms in a quick fit, running away as fast as she could.

Why? She couldn't tell. It had been a strong urge, impossible to fight. She was seated on his sofa and suddenly, she'd felt uneasy. Out of place. Not just because he'd left her alone in the living room, but because she had felt unwanted and uninvited in his apartment. Maybe hoping for a little more than a – good, amazing – lay was too demanding but she thought she deserved it. _They_ deserved it. She'd been weak instead, and stupid, and she hated herself for that. Yes, she liked sex, and yes she'd had what she wanted. But was that all? If she was being honest with herself, it shouldn't have been, for _she_ knew the real reasons why she had come to him in the first place. God, she was so naïve!

Still, that feeling of awkwardness couldn't possibly be all that would remain of that night. Something else had to lie underneath. She hadn't dreamed. There _was_ something in his eyes just before he'd looked down at his feet and confessed he needed her. She'd seen it!

And if he really did need her, like he pretended to, then she will not make the next move or even less beg him to acknowledge her. Now was his turn to come and get her if he dared…


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone!**

**I hope you're still enjoying this story!**

**and now chapter 9... the morning after... where House painfully finds out that eventually he has to go back to work...**

_the next update will come asap_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 9 ****

The morning after, House woke up with a throbbing headache and excruciating pain in his leg. As he was lying on his back in his bed, he tried to open his eyes but couldn't. He needed his pills first. He stretched his arm to the side to get them on the night stand and hit something that dropped on the floor with a loud noise. He sighed, guessing it was probably the sound of the empty bottle of bourbon falling down and shattering to pieces on the ground. Groping around, he tried to locate the bottle of Vicodin and when he finally reached it, he hastily grabbed two pills and pushed them into his mouth, tilting his head back to swallow them dry. Rubbing his eyelids with the tip of his thumbs, he tried to force his eyes open and winced as day light hit him.

Staring at the ceiling for a while, as he waited for the pills to take effect, he reluctantly gathered the strength he needed to get out of bed. He finally sat up straight, grabbed his injured thigh in his hands and guided it to the edge of the bed where he let it rest, groaning as the feeling of pain awoke in his dead muscle.

One quick look at his clock told him he had overslept but, he really didn't care because, especially that particular morning, as he really wasn't in the mood to rush to the PPTH. He sighed heavily, and tried to push all the images that kept on invading his brain since the previous night to the back of his mind.

Ok, she had left. Maybe, he deserved it. Ok, he should have known better. Maybe, he would soon get over it; because maybe, that wasn't such a big deal… Pulling himself together, he finally found the strength to stand up and walked to the bathroom to shower.

# # # # #

It was almost ten in the morning when he arrived at the hospital. House made his way into the entrance hall, limping to the information desk and leaned over to take his mails and messages. He should have kept walking but he couldn't avoid glancing through the clinic glass door to search for her presence there. When he spotted her, with her back turned to him, chatting with the nurses, he felt like he'd been stabbed right in the heart by another pang of unwanted bitterness. Still, irrepressibly drawn to her silhouette, he found himself unable to look away.

She wore a tight black skirt, which fell just above her knees and revealed her feminine forms just perfectly. His eyes remained on her beautiful round ass a little while. Finally looking up, he noticed the white shirt underneath a light pink woolen tank top. Her black high heels forced her to arch the small of her back to stand straight and she was doing so in such a natural, offhanded, with one of her legs crossed above the other, leaning with her elbow on the desk counter that he almost forgot to breathe while he stared intensely at her.

Blurry, overwhelming visions of her naked body inside his arms, lying on his piano, her legs sensually wrapped around his waist, her hips rocking with his hips; her beautiful face, leaning to his mouth, her lips kissing him… It all came crashing down on him in one vivid image that triggered a train of sensations in his body that could have become really inappropriate if he didn't stop staring at her or get out of here. Fast.

Because she had left… Okay. He totally got that! So now, what was the point of standing there? _Get a grip, House! You're a big boy now!_ He told to himself.

He shook his head to chase the visions out of his brain and looked away. The woman at the information counter had followed the whole scene, turning successively her eyes from him to her, and she shot him a disapproving look, convinced he was again naughtily fantasizing about the boss, just as usual. She was indeed right about the fantasy part, but totally wrong with the feeling that came with it.

House stared back at her, raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes in a purposely provoking fashion that screamed: "_Yes, I'm that obsessed! Call the Vice Squad if you're not ok with it_!" but before she could have the chance to decipher it all, he walked away towards the elevator.

# # # # #

He entered the conference room and greeted his fellows with an annoyed smirk. He hung up his leather jacket and backpack to the coat rack and walked straight towards the coffee pot. He poured himself a full cup and hastily swallowed a long sip out of it, squinting inside the mug and practically turning his back to his team, purposely remaining silent.

"And, good morning to you, too," exclaimed Taub in a voice that conveyed his vexation for having been totally ignored.

"Oh, little cheating man is in a bad mood this morning! What is it? Cheated wife still isn't willing to forgive and welcome him back in the marital bed?"

Taub looked up and opened his mouth to answer something that surely wouldn't have been witty enough to measure up House particularly challenging snappish state of mind that day but, was fortunately saved by the bell when someone showed up at the door, carrying a blue folder in his hand. By the color of it – blue folder was for new patients - House immediately understood how things were going to feel completely wrong and awkward in every possible way. Already feeling upset, he glared at the unwelcomed visitor: a young man in his mid-twenties, who was wearing a suit and shifting uncomfortably on his feet at the threshold, visibly uneasy to be here.

"Who are you?" House barked.

"I'm Warren Levine. I'm Dr. Cuddy's new assis…"

"Never mind! Don't care. Don't wanna know," House cut him short, dismissively. Pacing towards him, he pointed at the folder with the tip of cane. "What's that?"

The young man promptly handed the folder to House, in a conspicuous offering gesture. The poor guy really looked nervous and was certainly hoping he'd get rid of this as fast as he could. House studied him, then glanced at the file but, of course, didn't take it.

"Where's Dr. Cuddy?"

"Uhm… She sent me to give you this. She's sorry not to bring it herself but she's actually, uhm… very busy with the issues of an important meeting scheduled later this morning," the young man reeled off in one long breath.

House took a step closer then squinted at the folder suspiciously. Abruptly, he practically ripped it off Cuddy's new PA's hand and opened it. He rapidly went through the pages before slamming it shut and holding it back to the young assistant.

"Yeah, well, tell Dr. Cuddy that this case is a 'no case' and that I don't want it."

The poor guy took a step back, and walked his way out of the conference room, cautiously putting some distance between him and the scruffy, grumpy doctor in front of him.

"Dr. Cuddy said you'd say that," he added, gulping, without taking the folder. "And she said I should… leave it to you… nonetheless."

Then, visibly scared to face whatever reaction this would trigger, he promptly turned on his heels and left the room hurriedly. House watched him leave and smirked, thinking that Cuddy had, indeed, read right through him because he didn't want that case. Before he would even consider taking that case, _she_ would have to come in person to ask him to take, anyway. He firmly set up his mind on this childish whim and threw the file on the table. Foreman reached out for it and started to study it.

"What's going on with you and Cuddy?" Kutner asked, looking both amused and curious.

"I think she resents me since I dumped her right after our one-night stand yesterday," House replied provokingly. "Obviously now, she doesn't want to see me anymore."

He'd said it with such cynicism, none of his ducklings suspected he was actually telling the truth. At least, minus the part about who had dumped whom…

"Isn't that the very purpose of a one-night stand?" Thirteen said breezily, not even bothering to lift up her face from the medical review she was consulting.

"Exactly!" House exclaimed looking at the others with wide-opened eyes. "Hear that, guys? _That_ girl probably knows more about women than you will ever do. She definitely could teach you some stuff!

"Ha, too bad you don't do men," he added, turning in Thirteen's direction again.

"I do both," she replied with a playful, challenging smile.

"Ooh, is that a proposition? Well, first resign then bring one or two or your bed mates with you and maybe I'll consider this."

"Why resign?" Thirteen asked, enjoying the game.

"Because Rule number one says so."

"Rule number one?"

"Never have sex with someone at work," House answered, looking away and smiling bitterly, sounding more serious than he had wished.

Only Foreman seemed to have noticed the slight change of tone and he lifted up his gaze to study House's face. Thirteen persisted, unaware of her boss' unusual reaction.

"And why is it so?"

"Because of Rule number two!" House carried on, with perfectly mastered self-righteousness.

Thirteen looked intrigued and lifted her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Because if you're having sex at work, your mind is somewhere else and patients start to die!" House stated with a dismissing tone that cut the conversation short.

"You and Cuddy slept together?" Kutner suddenly asked, with a genuine and spontaneous curiosity, as if he was still following his earlier point.

"Why, did someone die?" House retorted sarcastically.

Foreman was still looking at him, trying to decipher where this was all coming from. He felt something was different in House's behavior. His morning grumpiness was not of the usual grumpy kind. It had something more in it… Disillusion? Anger? Both?

"No, but someone's mind is elsewhere," he acknowledged looking House right in the eyes.

"And where's yours?" House deflected, feeling caught off guard and weakened by his fellow's insight.

"Right here," Foreman answered in a calm voice. "Reading a medical file that says we actually _do_ have a case."

Taub and Kutner exchanged explicit glances over the table.

"No, we don't. That girl just had too many drinks. She had trouble sleeping and because of the dizziness, took some pills, pushed up the dosage, mixed it with more alcohol and then, she OD'd. Plain bore. End of case. Give her to gastro and tell them to do a stomach wash."

"Tox screen showed very few remaining traces of alcohol and no drugs," Foreman said observing House's reaction. "Her loss of consciousness isn't due to that."

"Bradychardia," House grumbled. "Low blood pressure causes the heart to slow down, causing…"

"Actually BP's fine," Taub interrupted, closely looking into the file's pages he was now studying. "House, have you even read the file? It's all mentioned here."

House looked at him annoyed and turned to Foreman, shooting him a contemptuous look.

"Fine!" he snapped. "Run your damn tests! EEC, ECG. Test blood for poison, too, while you're at it. And don't come back here unless you have solid proof that I'm wrong."

Without further comment, he grabbed his leather jacket and stormed towards the exit.

"Where are you going?" Taub asked him as he was about to enter the hallway.

House stopped at the door and, turning around, looked at all of them with an undecipherable gaze.

"Daddy has to go. You'll have to play doctors on your own. So go make him proud!"


	10. Chapter 10

_**Time for a little friendly pep talk... because who does House need when he questions himself about what he shoud or shouldn't do?...**_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 10 ****

Wilson was quietly seated at his desk but jumped at the sound of the door abruptly opening and House storming inside. The diagnostician went straight to the French window and stood there, looking out.

"Did you know Cuddy had a new assistant?" he asked, after a short while. "God, this woman really has to have them all! She's a true man-eater!"

Wilson leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms in front of his chest. Waiting without making any comment, perfectly knowing how useless it was anyway, he stared at his friend, totally unfazed. House turned around, looking preoccupied.

"Someone totally should warn her about that because she could get her ass into serious problems, you know. I mean, the kid is so young, Cameron could be his grand-ma!" He finished with a flourish, staring at Wilson with that ever famous look of his that silently screamed: _are you gonna ask me now, or what?! _

"Something's wrong House?" the oncologist said, compliant.

House immediately turned his back to him to face the French window again. He pressed his forehead against the glass and stared blankly outside without saying a word. For some reasons that Wilson was particularly aware of, knowing his best friend like he did, the more important the matter was to House, the less easy it was for him to share it out loud. Ergo, well-trained to the mechanism after all those years, the younger doctor shrugged and said, sounding deliberately uninterested:

"Ok, whatever! You can stay here if you want. Just as long as you keep quiet so that I can finish paperwork before my next appointment with a patient, which… _by the way,_" he added raising his voice towards House to catch his attention, "is scheduled in less than 15 minutes."

"I rang her bell," House said point blank, his forehead still leaning against the glass.

"Oh good, so you went to Cuddy's place," Wilson prompted, assuming it was about her, considering the subject that seemed to have brought House in his office.

"No. Actually, she went to mine."

Wilson slightly nodded, the hint of a self-satisfied smile drawing on his lips.

"Interesting…" he said, more to himself than to his friend.

"She stopped by yesterday… She wanted to… well, whatever! And before we were able to put a word on it, I rang her bell, metaphorically speaking that is."

"And?"

"It's loud," House muttered half-serious, half smiling mischievously at his own joke.

Wilson stared at him, pretending he didn't understand, forcing him to say it…

"Oh c'mon, don't be purposely lousy at this!" House exclaimed with a childish pout, turning to face his friend again. "I use brilliant metaphors to tell you whatever it is I have to tell you, you get my point, and then we can all move on!"

Both hands on his cane, slightly leaning forwards, House looked down at his feet. It was so obvious that something was upsetting him. Wilson knew he'd have to make him admit the facts for what they really were, before they'd be able to discuss the real matter.

"House, you need to address this. Why can't you just _say_ it?"

"Is the female side of you taking over so much that you actually want me to say it out loud?" House mocked looking at Wilson, who sat behind his desk, stubbornly silent. "Well, obviously it is! Ok, so you really wanna know? Fine! There was a party at Lisa's last night and Little Greg was the guest of honor!"

Wilson greeted him with an ironic grin. Since House, as surprising as it sounded, never usually bragged about his conquests, at least the ones that thoroughly mattered to him, Wilson knew there was something lying underneath his reluctance to talk openly about it. And truth be told, he was also enjoying this whole 'messing up with House' routine a lot. He frowned and shot House a challenging look, letting him know he wasn't going to get away with it easily.

"All right. You got me. We slept together! We had sex! Totally out of the blue wild and hot sex! Happy now?"

"I don't know. Are you?" Wilson asked, sounding like he genuinely cared about the answer.

House recognized this change of tone as Wilson's inimitable way to let him know that it was okay to stop pretending. And indeed, for once, it felt as if he could allow himself to be sincere and tell the truth, without fearing to be hurt. At least, part of the truth at first, just in case Wilson wouldn't understand him and bring him the comfort he was unconsciously seeking without being ready to admit it.

"She left," House said, self-consciously, looking down at his feet. "Right after we did it."

"Oh! And that's… a bad thing?"

"I was willing to let her sleep over."

"And what? She declined?"

"No. I didn't even get the chance to ask her. She just took her stuff and left."

Wilson stared at his friend incapable of repressing the image of House, the world-renowned jerk, discovering that he'd been fooled into a one-night stand like a college girl after a drunken orgy. He burst into laughter but, registering the look of hurt on House's face, immediately regretted he did. House glared at him and set his lips in anger.

Wilson was stunned by what he saw: so House was really serious about all this. His mind instantly processed backwards to acknowledge the facts. It meant he was totally right about his friend "experiencing" some feelings for a woman again. It also meant he was completely right about the fact that the woman was indeed Cuddy. However, it meant that maybe he wasn't _exactly_ right about the fact that it the feeling was mutual - which surprised him a lot. But the worse thing was that it mostly meant he was utterly now screwed, as House was incapable of assuming his own action without blaming others for the consequences. Now, all was left for him to do was wait for what would come next. And it came, indeed, phrased in a very upset tone.

"It's your fault!" House snapped. "You're the catalyst in this. You're the one who convinced her to come to my place…"

Wilson looked at him, incredulous. "_How the hell did he know?" _he thought, even if he already could guess the answer.

"Yes, she told me," House said as if he'd read his friend's mind.

"So, as I can see, you were able to talk this time," Wilson replied quietly in an attempt to deflect.

"Yeah. We had a pretty nice chat bef…" House began answering, dragged into Wilson's empathetic and neutral tone. But he abruptly cut himself off mid-sentence and widened his eyes, pointing an accusing finger at Wilson. "Don't you dare change the subject! I'm not happy with what you did!"

"Whoa… what?! Excuse me but what did _**I**_ do exactly?"

"You couldn't keep your mouth shut!"

"I may have spoken to Cuddy, indeed."

"Oh you _may_ have! God! Who told you to?"

"I'm not sure you want to hear the answer to that," Wilson stated ironically.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"House, yesterday you stormed into my office, and then told me you went to Cuddy's but couldn't actually show yourself at her door. So excuse me if, _being your friend_, I read that as you being a little confused about it and needing a little help."

House looked down, feeling touched by Wilson's friendly concern no matter what he would try to pretend, but stubbornly refusing to admit it nonetheless.

"So yes, I went to see Cuddy after you left," Wilson carried on. "To tell her how I felt about the two of you being so obstinately blind about your feelings for each other. And God, I don't know what you two find exciting in this, but you're both really trying hard to fight them".

A slight smile lightened House's face as he tried to imagine Cuddy giving Wilson a hard time. Well maybe Wilson didn't know, but he surely knew why he'd found that exciting…

Disillusionment had now replaced anger and House was ready to surrender. In his own very special way, that was.

"Maybe if you don't see anything exciting in _this,_ it's because you didn't see _this_ naked" he provoked with a half-smile, raising his face to his friend.

"So tell me: how is _this_?" Wilson asked in a very spontaneous burst of boyish curiosity.

House sent him a glare that unequivocally drew a line beyond which, despite the sincere friendship, he made it clear to Wilson it was inappropriate to walk. Wilson immediately read that possessive reaction as another crying sign that House truly cared for Cuddy and he realized it must have been really hurtful for him to realize she had left.

"Wow! You really do like her," he said, feeling deeply sorry for his friend.

House looked intensely at Wilson, as if searching for the answer in his friend's eyes. Suddenly, his face slightly changed from hurt to annoyance. But it had always been the whole concept of House's healing mechanism: the more he witnessed sincere empathy in Wilson's eyes, the more he was able to feed his brain with a good reason to pull himself together and get over whatever upset him. That was just his special brand of irony: grief and sympathy helped him feel better by making him bitter. And right in that instant, Wilson's genuine caring perfectly triggered his deflecting cynicism.

"I can't focus on my medical cases!" he shouted suddenly, as if it was the sole reason why everything felt so wrong to him. "She sent me her fifth-grader assistant to give me a case."

"I don't get why this is in any way relevant, here," Wilson answered completely taken aback by the fluctuating, unpredictable pattern of their conversation.

"What I'm saying is: I want things to be normal. Cuddy brings me my cases, and always has. I hate change. You know me. I need things to be the way they were."

"Don't be childish, House. This is not the point and you know it," Wilson replied, trying to make his friend admit what the real issue was.

"I can't focus on my medical cases. That's my point," House persisted, staring at him defiantly

"So let me sum this up: you two had sex, then Cuddy left... now she doesn't want to be the one bringing you your files and, it only is _just_ about medicine? But, of course! Who am I to think this is about something else, eh?"

"Ok, alright. Let's say she's still an annoying thought that keeps popping into my head every damn minute _but_ she's also preventing me from doing my job properly. That's what matters. And this is your fault, by the way. So you're going to fix this! As surely as you started it in the first place."

"What do you want me to do, House?" Wilson asked resignedly, knowing that it would be impossible for him to try and find an easy way out of it.

"I don't know. You're the one with the brilliant ideas, find one!"

"Don't you think, for a change, that you could try to solve your problems by yourself? ... House!"

Wilson watched bemused as his friend suddenly started marching towards the exit decidedly. On his way out, totally ignoring his advice, House pointed a finger at Wilson and threatened him with a smirk.

"And it better be a good one or I will never buy you lunch again!"

"You never buy me lunch!" Wilson exclaimed in disbelief.

"Then I'll just change nothing about it!" Wilson heard him shout from the hallway.

Wilson sighed heavily and shook his head, trying to understand why in God's name he he had to be friend with a man like House. His life would be so much easier and calmer if he wasn't… and so much more boring too! He smiled and took his coat before heading for his consult.

* * *

_A/N_

_Ok... so I don't know how that works... because I see people are reading this so first __**I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE WHO ARE READING THIS STORY**__ ... this is amazing to see how many of you have given a look at this ... __**BUT **__the truth is I'd be so much more happy to hear about you! :-)_

_Anyway... A HUGE THANKS to everyone who added my story or me in their list of favorites. it means a lot to me. and of course a special thanks to the people who already left me a review : I'm sincerely touched by the fact that you have found the time to stop by and add a few words in here to share your thoughts with me. any kind of comments, even suggestions are welcome. So I'm waiting to hear from you! _

_NEXT CHAPTER VERY SOON... _

_ps: and just a little precision, regarding a comment I receive lately: this story is currently over 300 pages long and NOT OVER YET! so you can be assured that if you like it, you'll have more of it... :-)_

_have a nice day - maya _


	11. Chapter 11

**New chapter : I hope you'll enjoy it...**

* * *

**** CHAPTER 11 ****

From her desk Cuddy was watching her trainee assistant's empty chair and couldn't help wondering how things had gone between him and House. She was a little anxious at the idea that her new PA didn't exactly live up to her expectations, when she'd sent him in House's office earlier that morning. Warren was young and a little incompetent which, let's face it, meant that - as House would have probably put it: "the kid was a moron!"

But he was the grandson of one of the hospital's most generous donors so she really hadn't had a choice when she'd been given the suggestion to hire him for a training period in PPTH as Dean of Medicine's assistant. That extra line in his resume would help start his career and, given how generous his grand-father was, Cuddy had seen that as an exchange of friendly services.

Since his first day here – though he was undeniably diligent, always punctual and full of good-will - Warren had yet to prove to her that he was capable of handling pressure and take up the challenges she would submit him to. Of course, dealing with House was certainly a little out of his league but, after the events of the previous night, Cuddy didn't want to be the one going in House's office and Warren was basically the only one she could rely on to do what she had in mind.

Earlier that night, a young woman had been admitted to the E.R with symptoms that, at first, seemed to fit with simple alcohol abuse but, as the hours had passed and she still wasn't getting better, it had become obvious that her symptoms probably hid some mysterious, underlying disease only House would be able to diagnose. It was the perfect pretext. Not really a pretext, anyway, since the woman was really ill, but it'd given Cuddy a reason to go to House. Through Warren.

He was the perfect guy for this: House didn't know him yet so he couldn't really jerk him around as he wouldn't have had enough time to fully study his weaknesses to exploit them, yet. He'd be taken aback and then upset which meant, Cuddy expected him to refuse the case. And then, predictably, he would come to her office to complain! And that's exactly what she wanted happening. Because, as far as she was concerned, she wouldn't make a move!

In any other circumstances, she would have dealt with the problem herself. As a responsible doctor and Dean of Medicine, and a caring human being, she would have logically come to House and handed him the case. She would have been prepared to stand up to him if needed, to convince him to take it but, with what had just happened between them, she couldn't be the one who would go there and casually give him the file. She was too proud for this. And stubborn. And no matter how wrong her reasons might sound, she had set her mind on that childish whim and that was it. Now, if House had anything to say about that, then let him do what he usually did: come storm in her office! She was ready and waiting for him…

Actually, she was _hoping_ for him to come. After an umpteenth glance at her watch, she was now beginning to wonder if House would come at all.

Truth was, she was dying to see him. What they'd shared the night before wasn't anything. It counted. At least, for her it did. But right after it, she'd had this strange and disturbing feeling that something had gone wrong and it had felt awkward. She'd have wanted to talk, about what had happened instead of feeling abandoned, alone and… used. While she was seated on his couch, wrapped naked in his blanket, she'd looked around and the heavy emptiness of the room, along with the distant sound of flowing water that just emphasized her own silence, had made her feel like once the "good part" was over, she was no longer needed. She would have given everything to find the strength to overcome that sensation but she couldn't help it. She had to leave. And today she was waiting to be proven wrong. She was waiting for House to show her he cared and needed her as he'd said he did.

Jolted out of her reverie, she suddenly spotted Warren's silhouette behind her wooden blinds and saw him sit at his desk. The need to find out what had happened with House became more urgent and turned into an uncontainable need to know. She instantly stood up, smoothed her skirt out with her hands and took a deep breath to calm down. She needed to look and sound as impeccably put together as possible. She slowly paced out of her office and smiled casually at her assistant, passing in front of his desk, making it look like she was actually heading somewhere else, when she stopped, as if she'd suddenly remember something.

"Warren, did you see Dr. House like I've asked you to?" she said.

"Yes, Dr. Cuddy," he replied. "I gave him the file like you've said…"

"Good. And what did he say?" Cuddy added, clearing her throat, trying to sound detached. "Did he have a message for me? I mean, something specific about the case, medically relevant… for me… to know?"

God, she'd just sounded like an excited high-school girl after the prom, waiting for her date to call back. She felt heat coming up to her cheeks. Thankfully for her, Warren completely lacked insight and he didn't seem to have noticed her blushing.

"Yes, absolutely and…l uh," he looked embarrassed and a little scared. "He said, he didn't want the case."

Cuddy instantly smiled broadly. If she could, she'd have made a victorious fist-pump: that was exactly the typical reaction she knew House would have, and the one she expected! He was upset, and soon she would see his silhouette limping into her office. She looked at Warren with eyes full of mischief and turned around to go back in her office. Now all she had to do was wait.

But, after an hour there was still no sign of House and her office was empty and quiet. Apart from the few phone calls she'd received, nothing and nobody had disturbed her. She was listening out to each sound, coming from outside her office door, waiting to hear the one she would finally be able to identify as his limping pace but it never came. After a last disappointed look at her watch to confirm what she already knew, Cuddy had to resolve herself and admit that House probably wouldn't show. She sighed heavily and set her lips in bitterness. She then leaned to the back of her chair and closed her eyes, rubbing her forehead to allow her some time to process the whole thing.

She was a smart woman. Proud and confident and she knew what she wanted.

He was a smart man. Egocentric and unconventional and he knew how to get what he wanted.

But she was strong and despite her being a woman in a man's world, she wasn't afraid to deal with all the constraints that came with managing a hospital, or him.

He was stubborn and despite the risks of him being wrong, he was excited by the challenge because all that mattered to him was the feeling of excitement that came along with solving puzzles.

He was her constraint, but she was his challenge.

And they would always fight because of this.

The rules were meant to be that way. They'd known each other for so long now, it was impossible to pretend the opposite. But despite that, it was also obvious that something powerful and irresistible was drawing them to each other.

Each in their own way, they were both misfits. Both their sentimental life was a mess. Both had tremendous trust issues along with self-conscious doubts sometimes. But they both worked hard to display a convincing image of the perfectly accomplished and well-balanced person. They could almost fool themselves some days. But certainly not each other…

Right from the start, there always had been some kind of a fizz between them and maybe all that it said from an outside point of view was that House only tried to push her buttons while she was just bossing him around but, so much energy spent on squabbling like they did together had to mean more than that. It _should_ mean more than just that.

Despite all the hints and signs Cuddy was clearly seeing to prove to herself it wasn't all her imagination talking, House still hadn't showed and she suddenly realized that even her stubbornness wouldn't outdo his in that circumstance. She felt puzzled and lost, not knowing what to do. She didn't understand what he expected her to do or if he even expected her to do something at all. The wait and the lack of answers slowly became excruciating and she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to put a name on it, once and for all, should the truth be hurtful or not. At least, if they decided to call it a mistake, she would finally be able to get over it and get back to work efficiently instead of obsessing over it in her office.

She swiftly stood up and walked out of her office, passing by Warren in a much determined pace. She walked out of the clinic, headed towards the elevator and to his office.

# # # # #

When she arrived, nobody was there; neither in his office nor in the conference room. She stood in front of House's empty desk chair, a little baffled as she had come with all those mingled and bottled-up feelings inside her and was left with nobody to vent them on.

She mentally cheered herself up, though, struggling against the emotional flow that threatened to overwhelm her. _What was she complaining about?_ she thought to herself. _At least it meant that House and his team were working on the case she had given them_.

She sighed and gave a quick look around the empty office before leaving the room. On her way to the elevator, she passed by Wilson's office door. Quite out of the blue, she decided to go inside to worm a bit of information out of him since, if there was something to learn about House's state of mind Wilson would surely be the most designated person to help her decipher it.

She knocked on the door and opened it carefully, poking her head to check if he was there and if so, alone. Wilson was seated at his desk, dealing with the updating of his patients' prescriptions forms. He raised his face to her and shot her a quizzical look, surprised to see her visit him in his office for no particular reason, at least none he was aware of. Without a word, she entered the room, closed the door behind her and walked straight to his side of the desk where she sat, facing him and stretching her legs alongside his chair.

She tilted her head to the side and looked down at him, waiting for him to react and question her presence so she could engage in conversation.

Wilson purposely remained silent, conspicuously ignoring her instead, and enjoying her uneasiness, even though she was trying to act relaxed. He wasn't fooled by her effort, as the simple fact that she'd come here certainly wasn't motivated by a sudden urge to share hospital gossips. It didn't take a genius to understand that her seated here, now that he knew what had happened between her and House the night before, wasn't meaningless.

After House's earlier visit, admonishing him to do something, Wilson couldn't help but relish the irony of the situation. As he studied her, with her hands crossed on her lap, nervously waiting for him to start the conversation, he decided he should, indeed, help her a little. But, whether he decided to interfere or not, he had to be subtle about it. There was some undeniable pleasure in observing them struggling against their powerful, mutual attraction for each other. But they both were proud and stubborn and, while Wilson knew they couldn't deny it, none of them would accept to be explicitly "coach" on how they should act upon their feelings.

"Is there something you maybe want to tell me?" he finally said, breaking the silence.

Cuddy bit her lips and pouted like a child who knows she's going to tell a lie but hopes no one would see a thing.

"Have you seen House?" she asked, in an attempt at sounding casual.

"Yes," he offered, purposely choosing to make a short frustrating answer.

And, indeed, she immediately looked annoyed and unsatisfied by his quick answer. She obviously was looking for something more and obviously felt upset to have to ask for it. But Wilson was all about responsibility and coming to terms with your own actions. He'd tried on countless occasions to make House realize the benefit of such mature behavior but, more often than not it was a lost cause. "_But maybe_", he thought. "_It's gonna be different with Cuddy. She was responsible. So she would have no problem addressing the issue and explaining why she had left. Maybe she would realize she'd hurt House and found the strength to cope with the consequences, on her own."_

Ever since he'd seen his friend so puzzled and lost this morning, Wilson was feeling a bit angry at Cuddy for what she'd made him endure so he wasn't just going to give her his blessing. She had to feel sorry for what she'd done first…

He studied her as she fidgeted on the edge on his desk, visibly fighting to decide whether or not she should allow inquire for more details or pretend not to care. It was stronger than her, though and Wilson was really starting to enjoy this counseling role he was playing for the two of them. He stared at her, greeting her with a gentle smile but a smile that said "_I know better_" nonetheless.

Cuddy sighed and looked down at her feet, avoiding his gaze. "_She was so screwed_," Wilson thought. "_Let's wait and see how she'd try to get herself out of this._"

"And… uh… did you two have the chance to… uh, talk?" she stammered, still trying hard to control her detachment while she carefully explored the field.

"Yes," he answered, in a voice that definitely erased all trace of doubt as to whether or not he knew about "it."

She sighed again, this time in resignation. Wilson looked at her, bravely stomaching the implied hint. "_Of course, Wilson knows_!" she seemed to say to herself, as she kept on staring at her feet, certainly thinking about the best way to walk out of here with dignity now. She was looking sad and lost, too, and Wilson's anger suddenly grew bigger.

"_Ha!_" he thought. "_Now really is the time to experience remorse! Dammit, shouldn't she have known what she wanted first, instead of running to him without thinking about what she was doing? She was the one who'd left so she had to take responsibility for it, and most of all, she had to explain herself to House._"

"Cuddy," he started curtly, which caused her to lift her gaze and stare at him, with a look of guilt on her face, as she instantly understood he was about to lecture her. "You need to talk to House."

"I don't have the time for that," she answered, trying to regain composure. "I'm busy running a hospital."

Wilson's mouth dropped open in bewilderment. Wasn't she sassy, on top of it? No wonder House had a thing for her: she was just the perfect, challenging woman for him. He shook his head and glowered at her.

"Of course, you are! I really wonder how you've managed to make time for this conversation, by the way, as the subject seems so unimportant!"

Cuddy felt trapped by his last remark. She set her lips, slighted, but finally surrendered, as she had no choice left.

"How is he?" she asked, promptly switching from an angry to a worried tone.

Wilson heavily sighed. Now, he couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for her. She actually looked genuinely puzzled. Yet, wasn't she the one responsible for it?

"How do you expect him to be?" he said, a bit harshly. "He's a mess."

"Really?" she spontaneously exclaimed, her voice filled with hope.

Instantly, feeling unmasked by this burst of sincere concern, she tried to regain composure and looked away.

"Well, he deserved it anyway," she quickly added, almost to herself.

Wilson, shocked, glared disapprovingly at her.

"I sincerely don't understand," he told her. "I mean, this is ridiculous. House _cares_ for you. Why are you doing this to him? Or even to yourself?... Now if you'll excuse me, I have a consult."

He swiftly stood up and gathered some files atop his desk. Cuddy looked at him completely taken aback by his reaction, but didn't move. As he walked past her, Wilson shot her a challenging stare and, without further comment, silently made his way toward the exit. As he was about to open the door, he turned around and glanced in her direction. She was still sitting on the desk, offering her back to her.

"You know," he said with a resigned smile. "If there was a prize for this stupid contest you two are competing in together, I'm not quite sure whom would be the winner."

She turned her head back and looked at him with the chin on her shoulder. She was gently smiling and in her eyes he saw a little sparkle that wasn't there the moment before.

"What contest?" she asked mischievously, with a childish pout.

Wilson rolled his eyes and shook his head. It was totally unnecessary to add anything, as he knew she'd perfectly understood the implied comment about House being just as stubborn as she was, even if he cared. He left the room, leaving her smiling and pensive.

And, by the look on Cuddy's face, he was certain that no matter what her reasons for leaving had been, she did care, too. He could tell it by the look of relief that had lit up her eyes when he'd said House cared too.

* * *

**A/N**

Hi there!

I hope you still enjoy reading this story. what do you like or dislike about it? do you have any suggestions?

don't be shy: FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF!

thank you and have a nice day! ~ maya


	12. Chapter 12

_**NEW CHAPTER! I hope you'll like it. ;-) **_

_**where it's all about finding out what happens when House takes Wilson's advice and finally decides to deal with that little misunderstanding problem with Cuddy in his own special way...**_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 12 ****

Evening had fallen on Princeton as Wilson grabbed his coat. He gave one last look around his office to see if everything was in place and turned the light off, then walked out and headed towards the elevator. As he arrived on the ground floor, he saw House's limping silhouette making his way toward the outside door. Within a few steps he caught up with him. House immediately felt his presence next to him and stopped just before pushing the door open. They both stood silently, looking outside for a moment.

"You disappeared today," Wilson said, staring straight ahead through the glass.

"And what? You missed me?"

"No. but maybe some people did."

"My team is perfectly capable of handling a patient without me… as long as it's just about running some basic medical tests. I mean, who needs a brilliant doctor's mind like mine, when it's all about sticking needles in God only knows which boring places! I'm sure even Cuddy's prepubescent assistant could do that himself when he's not a doctor! Maybe not even an assistant!"

Wilson turned his head to the side to look at House. His forehead was slightly pressing against the glass and he was pulling his trademark childish pout, unaware of Wilson's gaze on him. The oncologist smiled almost fondly, thinking about what he had gone through the night before, the years before…

House's body language was a very peculiar one to decipher for someone who had never really taken the time to learn to know who he really was. But surely Wilson was not that person. He knew his friend and he knew him really well. He was with him, during those hurtful and destructive nights when he'd drown his breakup with Stacy in alcohol and pills, mixing them up to a life threatening level sometimes. He knew how deep into misery House was capable of diving when he was hurt… And today, even if he would probably deny it, it was obvious that Cuddy was the only obsessive thought occupying his mind. Wilson could tell by the way House was incapable of not mentioning her in each of his sentences. No matter how hard he tried to pretend the opposite, everything _was_ about her, even when it wasn't. Wilson thought how hard it was, indeed, to find someone you really want to protect and be with from morning to evening and throughout the night until another day comes and it starts all over again. He thought about Amber and his heart skipped a beat, still filled with all the remaining grief he had yet to get over since the day she'd died. He felt sad for himself, but mostly on behalf of House because two people like he and Cuddy should be happy to have each other. They were _alive_. They had feelings for each other. They could even reach some kind of happiness, in their own way, if they tried hard enough. Instead, they kept fighting it again and again, afraid of what could come out of it if they finally surrendered to the power of their emotions.

"You want to grab a beer?" Wilson asked out of the blue, thinking that his friendship would at least always a constant between them.

"No thanks," House answered, turning his head to the side and smiling knowingly. "I think I've had enough for the day. And, I have something else in mind," He added with a mysterious gaze.

"Something in mind?" Wilson repeated, grinning. "Is it what I think it is?"

House puffed, faking to be annoyed by his question but still made sure to give him an answer, albeit cryptically:

"There're things someone told me I should take care of by myself… so, since there's nothing interesting to watch on TV tonight…"

Without finishing his sentence, he pushed the door opened, and walked outside, leaving Wilson nodding proudly at the front door.

# # # # #

The evening was beautiful and the air was mild and felt almost warm on House's face as he rode all the way to her house with his helmet shield up. He drove fast but not too much, enjoying each mile along the way, maybe holding back time a little to make the best out of what he hoped would be a worthy journey. When he finally arrived, he parked his bike across the street, turned the engine off and hastily walked to her house, climbing the stairs and hurrying to her porch.

At her front door, he took a deep breath and smiled, unzipping his leather jacket a little before plunging his hand inside and taking a folder out of it. It was a blue one, identical to the one she'd arranged for him to have in the morning. Holding the folder tightly inside his hand, he cleared his throat to gather up some courage and knocked impatiently on the door with his cane's handle. At first not too hard but, after a few seconds only, he started to bang really loudly.

The door finally opened and he went instantly short of breath when he saw her. She was casually dressed with a gray yoga pants and a white tee-shirt underneath a black woolen cardigan but she still looked like a million dollars. Their eyes met and, for a second that seemed to last forever, it felt as if the day hadn't gone by and they were still facing each other like they had the night before, just before the powerful surge that had drown them to each other took hold of them. He felt s strong urge to yank her in his arms but clenched his cane's handle tighter standing expectantly in front of her, instead. Her hand gripped the door firmly, and she shot him a look of confusion mingled with tiredness and, for a splitting second, he thought he spotted the same need in her gaze, mixed with a hint of hope. But her face quickly returned to its impenetrable mask and she sighed wearily.

"What?" she asked, sounding a little bit annoyed.

"I have a case," he answered getting directly to the point, while holding up the blue folder for her to see.

Cuddy shook her head and he could swear she just looked a bit disappointed. She stiffened and jutted her chin out to him in her ever so defying, bossy attitude.

"Of course you have a case! I know that. I'm the one who gave you that case."

"Technically you're not. You sent your new puppy instead."

Her eyes widened in astonishment and she stared grimly at him.

"Exactly!" House added, taking advantage of her surprise and rolling his eyes in disapproval while pointing his finger at her. "I don't remember his name but you know who I'm talking about: twenty-something, blond hair, moron looking. So not your type by the way!"

She couldn't repress a little smile but hid it quite instantly, turning back into defensive mode again.

"House, what do you want?" she asked.

"I have a case."

"You've just said that…"

"It's not the original case you gave me, it's another one…"

"What?" she looked bewildered and utterly surprised. "Have you already solved the other case?"

"Team's working on it right now."

She took a deep breath and buried her face into her hands for a short while. When she looked up again, she looked dismayed.

"If you already have a patient, can you explain what this other case you're talking about is? Where the hell did you get it anyway?"

"Never mind where I got it," House said, promptly dismissing her questions and getting to the point. "I want you to look at it."

"You're the diagnostician, I'm the Dean of Medicine, remember? Usually things go the other way around."

He smiled at her gently. She was so beautiful with all this contained irritation inside her, fizzling through her eyes. And she looked so delicate; even in her loose clothes. He could picture her perfect body underneath… her ivory skin, firm and soft around her breasts…

"I specifically need _your_ help on this one," he insisted.

"House, I'm tired. I need some…" The words died on her lips when she realized she was about to say she hadn't slept much the night before.

"Just give it a look," he said, his voice devoid of all its usual sarcasm.

She looked a little baffled by his tone of voice and took a step forward to grab the file he was handing her, intrigued. She snatched it from his hand and swiftly stepped back, opening it to give a look at its content. Inside, there was only one blank page with a giant question mark printed on it. While she stared, visibly puzzled, at the sheet of paper House studied her facial expression, strongly hoping she would understand the implied message.

"What's that?" Cuddy inquired, lifting up her face with a shy smile.

"It's a mystery," he answered, scrutinizing her face.

He was waiting to spot that that little sparkle of mischief again, the one he'd seen in her eyes in her gaze when he had held in her arms the night before.

He slightly pouted to arouse her curiosity, encouraging her to ask with wide, staring eyes. She looked at him, mirroring his face, and smiled.

"What mystery?" she finally questioned, her smile growing finally bigger.

"40 year-old female. Annoying bossy pain in the ass with a cracking body: had hot wild sex with one of her employees yesterday night and left right after… Any idea on what might have caused such an unpredictable behavior?"

Cuddy's heart started speeding up in her chest, sending shots of adrenaline into her brain and making her breathe faster. She couldn't allow herself to think it was what she thought it was. House had come! And, it was so much better than him showing in her office. this blank sheet he'd made just for her… she knew it was lame but she couldn't help but picture him typing this on his computer, printing it and then, sliding it in a blue folder before bringing it here to her and it melted her heart.

He was standing in front of her and staring at her with a piercing gaze, his mouth slightly open, eagerly waiting for her to tell him the words he wanted to hear. She wanted to speak, but suddenly felt a twinge of anxiety paralyze her, instead.

_What if she had the wrong answer? What if he was just here to have another round of sex and just that? What if she had gotten this all wrong and he was just here to tell her how big a mistake last night was?_

Cuddy didn't realize she had taken a small step back, as if she was unconsciously trying to protect herself from the doubt and confusion by carefully retreating behind her door. House reached out for it and pushed it open a little wider. She glanced at him and saw a glimpse of pain in his eyes, as if for a second, he'd thought she would close the door on him. She looked down and in a low, unsure voice, she replied:

"Maybe she wanted to be the one making the decision to leave and not wait for the moment she'd be thrown outside"

House stared at her, widening his eyes in disbelief. His mouth dropped open as if he was about to exclaim his surprise but he remained silent and turned his head away instead. As he was staring blankly into the falling night spreading beyond her porch's smooth light, she studied him and saw how hurt and puzzled he seemed to be, proof she thought, that he was indeed taking this seriously.

"Or maybe she thought it was not serious…"

House jerked his head right back at her and looked her in the eyes, completely bemused.

"What? Fuck, Cuddy, you know it was!"

Cuddy instantly felt relieved, but she still needed to get rid of that lingering feeling of loss he'd left her with by phrasing it out loud

"How am I supposed to know that?" she said, pouting. "You left the room right after."

"And you left my apartment," House added, his voice low and his gaze staring past her, as if he was elsewhere, reliving the moment.

Cuddy couldn't say much to this and his sudden sadness or what seemed to be, softened her as much as it touched her. She loosened her grasp on the door and was about to take a step forward when he said, his voice confident again:

"Jesus, Cuddy! Are you going to let me in or do you want to make me beg?"

She paused and, remembering what he had told her the day before in the hospital hallway, looked up at him with mischievous eyes.

"I don't know," she teased, with a knowing smile. "It depends on what you're begging for… More? Or for me to stop?"

House locked eyes with her and waited for her to send him a sign. She slid the door wide opened and, sighing in relief, he promptly took a step forwards and seized her by the waist, pushing her inside and closing the door behind him with a kick.

Leaning down, he buried his face in her neck and kissed her warm flesh eagerly.

"More!" he whispered in her ear, unhesitant, as she arched her curves toward him and pressed her body along his.

* * *

**A/N**

FIRST, **THANK YOU** FOR YOUR REVIEWS! :-)

Since, as you all know that since House just asked for "more" that means it's unlikely he's about to start playing cards with Cuddy... so don't be shy: share your thoughts!

in the meantime, have a nice day ~ maya

_ps: I don't want to dwell on this thing which is in the past now, especially since some of you don't even know about it... but just to answer on a specific point: we ARE now past the parts that had been erratically posted here before by someone who had "taken" my story to post it without my knowledge... so some of you might have read it here in different circumstances but CHAPTERS ARE ALL NEW NOW! I mean for those of you who wanted to know how fast we're going to move on with the story: I will continue to post chapters at this current rhythm which is, one chapter every two days OR maybe sometimes (when I have time) EVERY day... _

_this story is IN PROGRESS (it is a little over 300 page long so far but, I still have a LOT to write before it reaches its end...) so don't worry: the journey's not over yet... :-)_


	13. Chapter 13

**NEW CHAPTER!**

**where we can start wondering if this budding 'thing' has any chance to become something other than just sex. here're some hints to find out...**

* * *

**** CHAPTER 13 ****

House pulled her into him and leaned forward to claim her mouth. Less than twenty-four hours had passed since he'd held her tight against his chest and yet, he was furiously missing the feeling, already. The sensation of her lips on his lips made him feel dizzy. As soon as he grabbed her, she stood up on her tiptoes and he firmly held her close, one hand flat on the small of her back, the other circling her nape. Their tongues met and twisted together, as they tickled each other's palate, licking the corner of their mouth before thrusting inside again, while their teeth gently nibbled the skin around and under their lips. House moaned and parted from the kiss, brushing his lips on her cheeks, along the line of her jaw and down her neck, which she instantly stretched, sighing lasciviously.

Without a warning, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. Short of breath he looked at her and bent to kiss her again greedily, thirstily, his hands making their way under her cardigan and inside her yoga pants, avidly groping her ass. She seized the tails of his leather jacket in each hand and pulled him into her, arching her back forward and unreservedly giving herself in to his demanding desire.

But, just as House was about to take it to the next level, his hand brushing the hem of her panties and finding its way to her wet slit, she pushed him back with all her strength and looked at him, out of breath.

"Wait!" she panted.

He shot her a quizzical look, half-intrigued and half-amused by her sudden, irrational need to slow things down. She was shaky on her legs and her face was all flushed. There were no evident signs that she wanted this to stop so he chose to take it as his cue to move to a more appropriate and comfortable environment. He took her by the hand and guided her down the hallway but, when he walked past the living room, he came to an abrupt halt, ready to let her decide which direction they should take. He was not totally against another round on a sofa. Actually, he could have made love to her right against that wall in her entry and he didn't care if his leg would most certainly make him pay for it in the morning because, in that very moment, he wanted to lose himself in her body so badly, nothing else really mattered.

Down the hallway, there was a soft light coming out from her bedroom and House closed his eyes, secretly longing for the moment when she would guide him there; for that very unique, timeless moment when he would be following Lisa Cuddy's pace to her bedroom… He opened his eyes and caught her burning gaze before leaning down to her mouth to give her a kiss but she held her hand up in the space between her face and his lips and stopped him.

"Wait!" she said again. "We need to talk first."

Totally ignoring her request, he skirted her hand and tipped his head down her neck instead, kissing her from her earlobe to her collarbone. Quickly, he felt her irresistibly loosening in his arms even though she stubbornly kept on commanding him to stop, but it was impossible for him to comply as everything in her body language was screaming the opposite. He had slid his hands under her cardigan and tee-shirt and realized with wonder that she wasn't wearing a bra. Her naked skin was shivering under his touch as he was stroking her back and enveloping her shoulders in his hands, sliding down to the front of her body. He cupped her left breast in his right palm and teased her erect nipple with his fingertips. She gasped and with his other hand, he seized her thigh and guided it to his hips, wrapping it around his waist. Firmly holding her by the back of her knee, he pushed himself against her and dived in to kiss her again. There was no denying the fact that she wanted this as badly as he did but, she started to fidget in his arms pushing his hands away from her and when she finally extricated herself from his embrace, she stared at him with intense gaze.

"House, please stop!" she ordered, in a voice that felt both imploring but determined to hang on to the last remnant of courage she still had.

The craving was too strong, though, and in that moment, there was literally no conversation he was willing to have that would have justified for him to stop. He bent again and reached out his hands to her waist to pull her into him.

"C'mon! You're zesty, I'm frisky. Let's have a bit of nooky!" he said with a boyish grin.

She puffed, visibly upset, and glared at him.

"House, stop acting like an adolescent sex maniac! Can't you just be serious for one minute?"

He smiled mischievously and seized her hand, guiding it to the front of his pants to palm his hard-on.

"Oh, but I am _very_ serious! Do you feel how serious…"

Cuddy strongly removed her hand from his and punched him angrily on the chest. She stepped back and stood at reasonable distance, looking at him with eyes filled with disappointment.

"So that's what it is?" she stated in a sad voice. "This is all just about sex?"

"_Of course not! It wasn't all __**just**__ about sex!"_ House thought. "_But for fuck's sake, couldn't it at least be right now"? _He looked at her with innocent, begging eyes and tried to convince her to keep going, tugging at her cardigan's sleeve.

"Don't blame me. Blame your sexy, arousing body instead!" He said, playing the humoristic card.

"I'm not saying I don't want this… I do… But, I need to know something first."

She looked confused and sorry and, as she came close enough to him that she could take his fingers in her hand and brushed them with the tip of her thumb, he instantly knew he had lost that battle. He huffed and pursed his lips sulkily.

"Ok, hit me," he uttered resignedly, waiting to hear whatever twisted answer she wanted to drag out of him.

"Yesterday you said you needed me but you'd never said that to me before. Not… that way."

"_Damn her!" _He thought._ "Why did women always have this irrepressible need to spoil every magical moment with their obsessive urge for talking?" _

Yes, he needed her. In _that_ way that was not just sexual. But he was lousy at confessions, anyway. He would never find the right words to explain to her how she made him feel. So why even try, when it would necessarily come out all wrongly phrased? He felt suddenly uncomfortable. That was really unfair of her to ask that, he thought, because he knew why he was there. He could _feel_ every reason why. And not just inside his pants, but everywhere. For real. Why would there be any need for him to say it out loud? _Knowing it_ was the only thing that mattered. He wished it would be the same for her.

He sighed and looked down at his feet, trying to avoid her gaze, hoping it would give him a way out of this, still knowing that it wouldn't, anyway, because she was too stubborn and she would never let him get away with this that easily. Not until he'd have given her what she wanted. But, wasn't he incapable of resisting her, eventually? Still staring at his feet, he decided to go for the obvious explanation first, something not too self-involving but something that at least was the most indisputable reason he could find, one that couldn't be rationalized because it was just a fact that he'd learned to deal with over the years.

"I need you because you're my boss. You have veto power on my medical actions." He raised his face to her and smirked ironically because, somehow, that was the first time he shared this truth in front of her.

She gave him the "_I know better_" look but still jutted her chin up and smiled proudly. Her silence was stubbornly "louder" than his, and he knew he had to give her something else.

"You're attractive. You attract me. I'm attracted to you," he offered sheepishly.

Her smile softened and she tilted her head down, trying to hide the fact that she was touched. He naively thought it would be enough and they would resume their hot foreplay session so he stared at her expectantly with his eyebrows raised, in an expression that silently shouted: "_Good, are we done now?_" She looked up and adorably fluttered her eyelids and he really thought that he'd gotten away with it.

"House, do you want a relationship?" she inquired out of the blue, narrowing her beautiful, light blue eyes and waiting for his reaction.

"Wow! And next question will be _do I want to marry you_?" he joked, in his perfect smartass House-ian way.

But she didn't buy it. She didn't even give him an angry look. She just waited patiently for him to be sincere.

"I don't know," he finally confessed in a low voice.

Caught off guard by his answer, she instantly looked hurt and turned her head away. It was visibly not the answer she was expecting but he couldn't lie to her and it was the only genuinely sincere one he could offer. He didn't think his reasons for telling her that were mean or sarcastic, and never mind what she would say but he wanted her to understand. He took a step closer to her and gently grabbed her chin in his hand to make her tilt her head in his direction again. When their eyes met, still holding her chin up so that she won't look away, he explained:

"_I don't know_ is my most sincere answer. Cuddy, I can't promise you anything. You probably think that I'm a jerk right now but I'm not that kind of jerk. I can't lie to you and tell you the answer you'd want to hear, the one that'd be so easy for me to say _just to please you_… But, I can tell you this: yesterday, when I saw that you'd left-" His voice choked on the last words and he fell silent. She stared at him intensely and waited for him to complete his sentence but instead, he just released her chin from his hold and sighed heavily, looking away.

This time she was the one coming closer and she put her palm on his cheek, guiding his head to face her.

"Then what?" she asked in a gentle voice that said it was ok for him to tell her how he'd felt.

He leaned forwards and grabbed her waist, possessively yanking her in his arms.

"Then I didn't like that," he said with a sulky voice.

She laughed and he felt her relax in his embrace. He playfully tickled her earlobe with his tongue, one of his hands sloping up under her tee-shirt and making a subtle move toward her breast.

"I was really, _really_ sad," he moaned, his breath quickening when he felt the round flesh fill his hand.

He tightened his embrace and brought her even closer against him. "I need you to comfort me," he wheedled. She laughed again as she felt his erection pressed against her hips, undoubtedly telling her how urgent his need indeed was.

"I thought we've said no sex," she teased raising their banter up to a deliciously torturous limit as she pushed him gently away.

Quite unexpectedly, he caught her at her own game and suddenly extricated from their embrace.

"You're right! Who need sex anyway when there're so many more fun things to do?" he exclaimed extravagantly.

And, without further comment, he started to walk down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" she shouted after him

Rooted to her spot, she watched him leave, totally bemused, as he headed towards her bedroom.

"You owe me forty gallons of hot, steaming water," he answered gleefully. "And you're going to pay them back to me right now! With bubbles!"

(...) :-D

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**A/N**

Ok so I'm officially back from my vacation spot, which was such a cool and quiet place... but I guess every good thing must come to an end...

I saw some of you started to express themselves and THAT IS SUCH A GREAT THING! thank you SO MUCH for your reviews! I really appreciate them. But now, I want MORE! hahaha just like House...

and about him... I hope you've been happy to see that he indeed intends to let Cuddy know about the bath... which means in House language...: possible bubble schmex ahead!... :-D

in the meantime, HAVE A NICE DAY! ~ maya

ps: the more you'll post reviews, the more I'll post new chapters... haha... do we have a deal? ;-)


	14. Chapter 14

_NEW CHAPTER NOW!! __where we find out what "taking a bath" means in Huddy world (M-rated chapter ahead!! - lol)_

_I hope you'll enjoy it..._

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**CHAPTER 14**

The sound of the flowing water had stopped and Cuddy entered her bedroom a little excited to discover what House had set up for her. She stood at her door and turned her head to her right. There, lying on her bed she saw his cane alongside his leather jacket. At the sight of it, she felt a twinge tickling her inside her womb. The bathroom was across the room just facing her bed. The door was opened and steam was spreading from the inside out, leaving a misty cloud in front of the entry. She walked to it and called gently:

"House? Are you in there?"

Instantly, his head popped out of the steamy room, the rest of his body hidden behind the doorframe. He beamed at her, suddenly seized her hand with his and tugged her inside. He pulled her closer against him and she fell into his arms, placing her hands in front of her to meet his chest.

"You're not wearing any clothes!" She exclaimed, feeling his bare skin under her fingers.

"Yea! I know I totally lack originality here but I figured it would be much more convenient to be naked if I wanted to have a bath."

She smiled and caressed his chest with her palms, leaning forwards to rub her nose against his pecs, inhaling his intoxicating musky body odor. She then voluptuously sighed and rested her cheek against his torso facing the bathtub. Her mouth dropped opened when she saw what was in front of her eyes: there were bubbles all over, extending beyond the tub in thick foam. She couldn't repress a giggle.

"Oh my God! You poured the entire bottle in it, didn't you?"

"Oops, sorry! I think I just couldn't help it" He asserted with a faked guilty look.

She felt suddenly overwhelmed and guilty herself, but for real. When he had walked to her bathroom saying he wanted her to take a bath, she had immediately realized the implied comment about the previous night's misunderstanding. And she had felt terrible. Unconsciously she squeezed him tighter and cuddled herself in closer. She buried her face in his chest and whispered:

"House, you know last night I didn't kn…"

"Don't mention it." He interrupted and she caught a fleeting glimpse of pain in his eyes. But then it disappeared and he said "Now we're here. _You_'re here. And the water is getting cold. So just take those clothes off and join me."

He let go of his embrace and in a slow careful motion, he entered in the water. He sat down opposite the faucets and stretched his legs, leaning his back against the tub. He sighed languorously. "Mmm, now you don't want to miss that! Temperature's just perfect." She looked at him and grinned.

"Come on, hurry!" He ordered her "I want you to get your pretty little tush in here!"

Without being asked twice, she bent and took off her socks. She felt his eyes on her, studying her every movement while she got undressed. She grabbed her cardigan and tee-shirt and slid them over her head. She glanced at him and caught him with his head tilted on the side, his eyes narrowed in a deeply focused attitude as he was unconsciously biting his thumb nail, inspired by the the beautiful vision she was offering him with her half-naked body.

"You like that, don't you?" She said, being aware of his craving eyes on her but undeniably enjoying the feeling.

"Get rid of the lower part and then I'll answer." He replied with a theatrical lecherous face.

She shook her head, beaming and in one quick motion she slid both pants and panties down to her ankles. She stepped over the heap of clothes and came close to the tub.

"Move!" She commanded, plunging her feet in the water.

He sat up straight to make room for her in the tub. She entered in the warm bubble bath and sat down, facing him, rolling herself into a ball in the opposite corner, and wrapping her legs in her arms to leave him as much space as she could. He looked at her with wide opened eyes and seized her by the arm to pull her to him.

"Are you kidding me? There's no purpose in doing this if you're sitting a mile away from me" He said while he motioned her to turn her back to him and lean against him.

"But your leg?" She worried.

"Don't play the doctor with me. My leg is fine. Now come here and relax!"

She let him guide her in the water and she slid herself between his legs, leaning back to rest against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and placed one hand up on her shoulder the other one lower, on her hip. Feeling the warmth of the water caressing her skin, she completely loosened up and tilted the back of her head on his collarbone, closing her eyes and breathing peacefully.

"You're right," She said in a sigh "I really wouldn't have wanted to miss this."

After a perfect quiet moment while they both almost drift off in each other's arms, House took a sponge on the edge of the tub and plunged it in the hot water to wet it and infuse its surface with soap. He then gently brushed her with it, drawing lather circles on her skin, teasingly insisting on her most ticklish parts making her wriggle in the water, each of her movement arousing his desire when she rubbed her back against his chest. She splashed water at his face and he covered hers with foam, sculpting a beard on her chin and they giggled like two carefree children until they went quiet again, aware of their nude body entangled in the water. He then placed the sponge back and enfolded her closer to his chest.

She felt his lips brushing the top of her shoulder and she stretched her neck on the opposite side. Soon he started kissing her behind the ear while his hand fondled her streaming skin from her shoulder to the top of her breast. She moaned and pushed with her feet against the tub to rise up between his legs. His other hand slid from her hip to her groin and she imperceptibly arched up, biting her bottom lip and covering his hand with hers. She tangled her fingers with his and guided his hand lower, slightly opening her thigh to let him reach her core.

She pushed his hand again and with hers still on top, she surrendered to his caress. His fingers gently parted her labia and he began to stroke her clit in slow round motions with the tip of his thumb. She felt waves of pleasure running through her spine, sending spasms to her womb and causing her to moan. "Mmm, yes" she whimpered yearningly, passing her free hand over his shoulder and winding her arm around his neck.

The water was deliciously warm and it made her feel light in the tub, floating against him in orange blossom perfumed bubbles of soap. Perfect stillness, warmth, delightful scents, everything was an invitation to leisureliness and lust and she was more than willing to give herself in to it. She made him stroke faster and harder, pushing his hand deeper between her legs, her toes curling up on the edge of the tub as an exquisite wave of fulfilled desire was irrepressibly rising inside her. Still rubbing her clit with an amazing caress that was already making her shudder, he intended to increase her pleasure and pushed his middle finger inside of her to penetrate the part of her that was undoubtedly aching for his touch. She gaped loudly at the sensation and bucked her hips, finding a perfect angle for him to slide deeper inside her. Strongly tightening her grip around his neck, she could feel his hard erection pressing against the small of her back, telling her that he was enjoying this as much as she was. "Oh Gawd, yes, yes..." She moaned louder, biting her lips and closing her thighs on their intertwined hands, imprisoning him inside her as she felt the quivering wave of her first orgasm slowly rising inside her. When the last spasm invaded her core, making her tense her back along his chest, she gently motioned him to stop moving. All her muscles finally relaxed within this blissful sensation and she turned around in the tub to face him, lying above him and keeping herself raised up with her hands alongside his chest. He stretched his legs in the water to welcome her on top of him. She leaned toward his face, took his mouth with a quick thirsty kiss and then jumped hastily out of the bathtub. He stared at her in awe while remaining relaxed in the tub, his hand unconsciously enveloping his shaft, which hard length flaunted the power she indisputably had on him. Her body dripping with foaming water, she looked at him with greedy eyes and teased:

"C'mon House, get your ass outta there before you become all washed out and useless!"

He looked at her and rolled his blue eyes in fake indignation.

"What? So this is just about sex!" He teased back, referring to her earlier comment.

"Shut up and get out of the bathtub!" She said, grabbing a towel.

He stepped over the tub and she handed him the towel. He dried himself quickly and then came close to her. She faced him and leaned against the cabinet behind her. They locked eyes and without a word he lifted the towel and started by gently sweeping her arms with it, one after the other. Then he put the corner of the towel against her chest and softly brushed her breast with the fluffy cotton fabric. Still staring in her eyes, he went down to her belly and patted the towel on her hips. She sent him a longing stare and turned around, leaning slightly down and offering him her back.

House gently rubbed the towel on her back starting with her shoulder blades, and tracing a languorous line down her spine. She arched, following his movement and her curve touched his hip. He came closer and wrapped his arm around her, placing his hand flat on her midriff, he pulled her into him. She tilted her head back against his shoulder and he caught their reflection in the mirror that was hanging above the washstand. The image was gripping. She was so enthralling, standing there, bare-chested in front of him. She felt his eyes on her and through the mirrored reflection she locked her gaze with his again.

House let go of the towel and raised his hand to her neck. Without taking his eyes off of hers, he fondled the line of her larynx down to her collarbones and up to her chin; then he gently seized her jaws and tilted her head to the side until their mouths met. They stared at their appealing image kissing in the mirror, both captivated, unable to turn their gaze away from each other.

While he was kissing her, sliding his lips along her neck and going down on her shoulder, she reached out for his hips and pulled him close to her. She felt his erection pressing against her and she opened her thighs for him. She took his hand in hers and guided it to her clit. Looking intensely at her reflection in the mirror, he freed his hand from hers, skirted her hips and grabbed his cock in his hand. In one slow and voluptuous thrust, he guided himself deep inside her.

She gasped when she felt his shaft filling her completely, reaching her womb's entry, sending quivering waves in her belly. Once inside her, he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her against him. Her back against his chest, they both leaned forward a little and he slowly moved inside her, his hands stroking her midriff and breasts while hers grabbed the washstand. Leaning down on her, he greedily bit her shoulder and glanced at her reaction in the mirror. She tipped her head back stretching her neck and gasped out his name. She turned her face to the side and kissed him softly, and then avidly and voraciously. He clasped her hips firmly and began to shove deeper and faster inside her, his hard member pumping in and out of her, deliciously rubbing her tight glistening inner walls, sending incredible tingling sensations into both of their sweating body. Carried away by the shameless intoxicating rhythm of their sexual dance, she started to pant lustfully under him and he sensed his desire was about to hit its climax.

Without a warning he slid out of her and promptly turned her around to face him. Meeting his craving gaze, she widened her eyes in wondrous excitement and promptly adjusted herself to her new position. He seized one of her thighs and raised it up, making her sit at the edge of the cabinet. Staring deeply into her eyes, he then made his way back inside her in one hard and quick shove. She held his shoulder and clung on to him, capturing him inside her, wrapping her legs around his waist. Each thrust he pushed inside her made her gasp and shiver right up until the last one, when he gripped her and clenched his jaws, convulsing as the pounding sensation of pleasure exploded in his body and filled hers. His head leaned back and she bent to his neck and smothered him with kisses, greedily nibbling him all over his face, screaming with this so spontaneous impulse all the words she didn't dare to speak yet.

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**A/N**

_Hi everyone!_

_THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR ENTHUSIASTIC AND INVOLVED COMMENTS..._

_I hope you can see that I'm trying to be a good girl and post a lot!! And I hope you're still enjoying reading this and of course that you'll **KEEP REVIEWING!**_

_have a nice day! ~ maya_

_ps: just one thing, if I may add... __I'm French. I write this story in a language that is not mine. So I try, as much as I can to pay attention to my mistakes and to my typos before I post. But I know there'll undoubtedly still be many of them I won't see... That's why, that being said, I kinda hope you'll be lenient with me nonetheless! LOL_


	15. Chapter 15

_Hi everyone! here's the NEW CHAPTER! :-)_

_Where Cuddy and House find out how good it feels to lower their guard a little... _

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**CHAPTER 15**

Cuddy came back to earth first. She shook herself and gently extricate from his arms. Then she looked at him with a fulfilled smile and tenderly cupped his face in her hands pulling it to hers. He leaned down and gave her a kiss, smooth and delicate, brushing the surface of her lips with his, wrapping his arms around her waist. She cuddled up against him, sliding her hand on his back and gently stroked him. He parted from the kiss and rested his forehead against hers, just content to remain in the quiet peace of this moment, listening to both of them breathing, enjoying the sensation of her hands caressing his skin.

After this time-suspended moment of serenity, she broke the silence and asked, her hoarse voice still betraying the emotional flow that had just run through her.

"Have you eaten?"

He took a deep breath and smiled at her with gratitude.

"Actually, I haven't."

"That's what I thought." She said, nodding with a playful smile.

"What?" He asked, with impish eyes, already knowing the answer.

"Your stomach's rumbling." She stated, chuckling.

"Well, I guess that's what happens when you miss lunch _and_ dinner." He pouted, with a martyr face designed to make her feel guilty.

"As a doctor, you should know that's really not the smart thing to do!" She frowned with an exaggerated reproving face. "Ok, let's see what we can do to fix this!"

She freed her from his embrace and took a gray bathrobe hanging behind the bathroom door. She put it on and casually handed him a fresh dry towel to wrap around his waist. As he did, she studied him, a little intrigued and out of the blue, she asked:

"Where have you been all day?"

For a short moment, he silently stared at her with his piercing blue eyes, just as if he was reliving the moment by himself.

"Here and there..." He finally replied with a deflecting formula.

"That's not an answer."

He came closer to her and smiled mysteriously.

"I've been thinking about you… And strippers… Well actually… I haven't thought about strippers… I've watched them… But I definitely thought about you then."

She sighed resignedly, thinking she would probably never know if it was the truth or something he'd just made up to avoid telling her the real truth. And she realized that it didn't matter that much now, because he was there. So she just looked at him with a quiet smile, telling him it was ok that she didn't know, and that he could keep that secret.

House, who was in a playful bantering state of mind, after this last blissful hour he had spent, teased her again:

"Why are you asking me this? Have you been looking for me Dr. Cuddy?"

"No." She shook her head innocently "I'm just concerned about your patient, that's all."

"Liar!" He exclaimed with a broad smile. "You know your patient isn't even a real one!"

"Yes she is!" She inveighed, the doctor in her suddenly taking over.

He saw this thin line there, so easy to cross; one he certainly would have jumped in not so very long ago, just for the joyful pleasure of pushing her button… but now, in that very moment, he just stared at her looking so enticing in her bathrobe, with her black curly hair framing her perfect face. He locked his gaze with her beautiful blue eyes and just caved in.

"Yes, she is." He repeated, nodding his approval. And he leaned down to give her a kiss.

"House, this is serious." She said, checking suspiciously in his eyes to see if he wasn't trying to trick her.

He sustained her gaze, with his best convincing look, really wanting to get this right. She squinted one last time coming closer, and he gave her an encouraging smile, that finally seemed to satisfy her.

"And um… I was hungry… remember?" He gently reminded her.

She raised her chin to him and stopped her face just an inch away from his. She narrowed her eyes and after a few seconds, she smiled broadly and pinched his cheek.

"Well, don't think you can get away with this too easily, 'cause I'll keep an eye on you."

"Of course you will! Now go cook something for me woman!" He jokingly growled with a deep low voice, patting her on the buttocks and gently pushing her outside.

She giggled and left the bathroom, heading out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. Once he was alone, House took off the towel from his waist and picked up his clothes to get dressed. He emptied the bathtub and before leaving the room, he checked his reflection in the mirror. He stared at his image with an inquiring look. It seemed he was just the same but, he thought with a smile, he felt a little different nevertheless. And it wasn't a disturbing feeling.

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When he joined her in the kitchen, she was bustling with food, with her back to him. It looked like she had emptied her fridge all over the kitchen counter. He glanced suspiciously at the colorful pile of vegetables and fruits lying alongside slices of weird bread and condiment jars.

Suddenly noticing his presence in the room, she turned around to him with a radiant smile.

"I made you a sandwich. It's …"

"Oh no don't tell me!" He hastily interrupted "Let's make it a surprise."

He grabbed the so-called sandwich, two slices of wholewheat bread crammed with lettuce and tomatoes and God only knows what else. In his world, he would have made an enormous sandwich with two slices of bread overflowing with ham and mayo and pickles and cheese. In his world, Cuddy's sandwich would have been some kind of food for rabbits, or lab mice or anything non human with teeth, but she looked so happy to him that he took the sandwich and gave a greedy bite in it while she stared at him with great satisfaction. Anyway, he was so hungry he could have eaten pretty much anything. And quite unexpectedly, it was not so bad… it was actually good. He took a second bite out of it and sighed with the relieving feeling of his stomach finally getting filled.

"You wanna drink something?" She asked opening the fridge.

"Mmyea, beer." He muttered with his mouth full, in a kind of reflex answer.

"I have no beer." She said, looking adorably sorry. "But I have some wine if you want?" She offered, holding up a bottle to him.

"Wine! Of course, you have wine. White, I bet?"

"Yes. And? What's wrong with white wine?" She inquired distrustfully, grabbing two glasses and pouring the light yellow alcohol in each.

"Nothing. It's just such a predictable female drink."

"That's what I am."

"What?"

"A female."

"Yes… but not so predictable…" He said, his voice clear again. He had finished his sandwich and was licking his fingers, looking and smiling enigmatically at her.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She immediately questioned, her suspicion aroused.

"Nothing. Just that I like how you can totally surprise me."

"With white wine?" She said with a mischievous look, not so fooled as she seemed to be by this little game.

"Yes among other things…" He said getting closer and grabbing her by the waist.

They kissed. It felt like the delicious and frightening sensation of evidence. And it hit him, in the chest. He suddenly felt overwhelmed by an inexplicable emotion or more specifically, an emotion that he hadn't been used to feeling anymore for too long.

"Maybe I should go." He heard himself say out of nowhere.

"Why?" She exclaimed, bewildered by this unexpected and sudden comment.

House stared at her surprised by her tone of voice.

"Is this some kind of revenge?" She added, looking hurt "You wanted to get even? Is that what it is?"

_God, she was so twisted and unsure!_ He thought _and he was so stupid!_ How could he have made her believe one second, or believe himself, that he would actually want to leave for real when in fact the only thing that he wanted was to stay and hold her close until the next morning.

"You didn't say you wanted me to stay." He pouted carefully, with a begging smile, hoping she would understand he never intended to mean this for real.

She widened her eyes and put her hand in front of her mouth, as if she'd have suddenly realized how completely irrationally she'd reacted.

"Unless you didn't because…", he said, coming closer and evilly turning the table on her "y_ou_ wanted me to leave…"

She looked up at him and shook her head in dismay, yet reassured as she immediately perceived the bantering tone in his voice, even if he was trying to act convincing.

"You're crazy." She simply said widening her eyes and loosening up.

_Yes, crazy about you,_ He silently replied to himself, staring intensely at her. But instead he came closer and leaned down into her neck to tickle her earlobe with his tongue. She wriggled at the sensation and he pulled her tighter against him, undoing the knot of her bathrobe's belt and sliding his hands underneath.

"God House, you're so insatiable!" She chuckled in his ear, slanting up on her tiptoes and pressing herself against him.

"Oh-Oh!" He chuckled back "Don't pretend to be shocked, 'cause you so want that too!"

"I know. That's why I'm so irresistible!" She teased with a rascally look on her face, taking his hand and making him follow her out of the kitchen.

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Cuddy guided House toward her bedroom. He followed her through the hallway towards the smooth light. They got undressed slowly. And they laid down on her bed. And they had sex. They made love. Whichever it was, they just did it again. Softly and languorously. Their bodies entwined, cradled by the perfect symbiosis of their waving movements, riveted to each other by their mesmerizing silent stare.

When finally their thirst was quenched and their yearning satisfied, House rolled to the side and remained lying on his back with his arms stretched out, quietly gazing at the ceiling. Cuddy slid next to him and the second he felt her skin against his, he turned his head towards her and patted on his chest to motion her to come closer. She cuddled up against him and he closed his arms around her to bring her nearer while she entangled her legs with his and nested her head in the hollow of his shoulder. He lightly stroked her on the back with his fingernails and soon in the warmth on his skin, she fell asleep. Feeling the stillness of her body alongside his, he stopped his caress and listened to her peaceful breath for a moment, before falling in the arms of Morpheus himself.

He couldn't tell for how long they'd been serenely sleeping like this but at some point in the night he heard the disturbing and familiar sound of his cell phone ringing. First he jumped a little, joggled by the sudden noise and when he opened his eyes, it took him a second to realize he wasn't in his bed and that the naked body spooned in his arms was Lisa Cuddy. Within the sound of another ringing she woke up and groaned, twisting herself against him to release her hand and the delightful and involuntary rubbing it created did wake him up for good. Mechanically, she stretched her arm to reach out for the phone on the night stand, but he gently held her gesture back.

"Mine." He said to explain. She sighed and she relaxed then fell back in his arms, repositioning herself against him.

Out of habit, he had put his own phone on the night stand of his side of the bed, so within the next ringing, he picked up the cell and before whoever it was at the end of the line had the chance to speak, he growled, making room for her inside his arms and looking intensely at her while she snuggled against him:

"Someone had better be dying because if you just ruined my sleep for nothing, this shall be paid back harshly…"

He didn't finish his sentence and his face became suddenly serious. He nodded a few times and asked medically related questions then he hung up the phone and straightened up in the bed.

"Foreman." He stated without any further explanation to let her know who it was.

She looked at him with a knowing smile and straightened herself up as well to sit next to him. He turned his head to her and added:

"Well it seems that after all, your patient _IS_ actually a real patient."

"She's not my patient, she's _yours_; and we agreed already that she was a _REAL_ patient."

"What I can say is that until now, at least I thought she was a real alcoholic, but apparently, this young female isn't just that."

"What's wrong?" The doctor in her required, with a genuine concerned tone.

"She's got radiating pain in the chest. Her heart is being monitored right now, but it seems her BP's really low."

"Cardio-myopathy?"

"I don't know."

"So you gotta go, right?"

"Actually, I'm probably not really needed in there, but since they're all just babies who seem really lost when daddy's not there to reassure them, I think I'm gonna go anyway."

She looked at him her eyes widening in perplexity, just as if she was asking: "_What the hell are you talking about_?!" He pulled his most shocked face and answered to her silent question:

"Don't look at me with these eyes. I'm not responsible for that. It's not my fault if I'm this powerful as a mentor!"

He waved his arms in front of him powerlessly, as if he was stating: "You can't compete with fate" and all his theatrical efforts to sound offhand made her melt within a touched smile.

"You're the one wanting to be there." She said, testing his reaction.

"Crap!" He exclaimed, trying to defend himself from this obvious truth."I can't leave them to play the doctor alone that's all, they would kill too many people without me watching their backs"

"You care." She teased again, insisting with a victoriously provoking smile.

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, trying to show her how wrong she was but he couldn't repress a smile.

"Hah! You think you know me, now? Well, you're totally off the mark!" He pouted in a last attempt to act detached. "I don't give a damn about what's going on there."

She smiled even wider.

"You can't stand not knowing what's going on there. And you're dying to go. So just go!... You don't need to pretend you want to stay" She added seriously, looking at him in the eyes. "I don't expect you to. I'm perfectly capable of understand that. I'm a doctor too you know."

He looked at her fascinated and a sudden surge of holding her hit him again, but instead he just reacted playfully, bantering with her.

"Pfft! You're not a doctor" he provoked, "you're from another species: you're a woman administrator! You eat doctors for breakfast!!"

She looked at him with an impish look and came suggestively closer.

"And in the middle of the night too…"

He tried to resist and ignore her.

"You said I'd better be going..." He defended himself.

"You said it wasn't so urgent..." She replied without missing a beat, sliding her hand under the sheet.

"Did I?" He said, rolling on the side and pulling her into him.

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It was indeed the middle of the night when House arrived at the hospital. Cuddy was right, he really wanted to go and see for himself what was wrong with the patient. He was intrigued because in the morning, he was still puzzled and confused so he didn't give a real thorough look at the file and the simple fact that he could have missed something important was obsessing him. But at the same time, he knew for sure without hesitating for the slightest second that he would have rather spend the whole night with her instead of being here and strangely, it almost frightened him.

This was an odd feeling he was experiencing. All of this was new but it was like he had been living it for a long time. There was something undeniable between them, but he couldn't name it. Together they connected and it was just as simple as that. When after a shower, he had finally left her, dozing in the afterglow's sweet tiredness, they had both agreed he would return to his place and that they would see each other the day after.

From the hospital entrance up to his office, he whistled joyfully without even paying attention, holding his cane without really leaning on it, a look of happiness on his face. He walked in the conference room where all his fellows were already sitting, waiting for him. His whistling just died on his lips when he realized everyone was staring at him with an intrigued look.

Nevertheless mastering the perfect casual reaction, House took his jacket off, walked directly towards the white board and grabbed the black marker, which he uncapped before exclaiming to the four.

"Ok so, what do we have here?"

Foreman who had followed him with his eyes ignored House's question and inquisitively stated instead:

"We called your home four times before we could reach you on your cell."

House narrowed his eyes and smiled ironically, studying him while he thought of a witty and playful answer.

"Sorry, I was in the bathroom." He said holding his cane up "You see that? I'm a crippled, that's why I can never make it to the phone in time from there. That's why I don't even try. Hence me having a cell; so I can pick it up anywhere and end up chatting with you guys while I'm having a night poop!"

Thirteen lifted her eyes towards him and gave him a reprobate look for sharing this with them. Kutner nodded and smiled, comprehendingly and Foreman lowered his gaze, defeated.

"Cardiac exam showed no dysfunctional problem. The heart seems fine. We put her on heptaminol to control the BP. Apparently the pain in the shoulder disappeared but she's now having serious nausea…"

"Thank you Dr. Taub! At least we finally have one doctor in here that cares about our patient."

Taub silently stared at House.

"Actually it's late" Taub finally decided it was worth answering "and I have a wife, so the faster we go on with this, the faster I can go back home"

"Oh good for you!" House exclaimed in a snarky tone. He turned to the others and added "Did you hear Taub here? We're just poor lonely bachelors but it's not because we have a miserable life and no one to wait for us at home that we can't be compliant, right? So why don't we give our best thought out ideas now so that Taub can hurry home and go back to sleep in his empty couch!"

Thirteen turned to Taub and give him a sorry look.

"Could be salpingitis." She suggested.

"She's 21, not married, not even with someone apparently. It doesn't seem like she's sexually active..." Kutner answered.

"Wow!", House exclaimed "you need to be married to be sexually active?"

Kutner pouted like a grounded child.

"Maybe the radiating pain in her chest isn't caused by her heart. It could have come from the liver. It's consistent with Salpingitis. Fitz Hugh syndrome" Foreman said to refocus on the differential.

"She'd have fever" Thirteeen objected

"The antipyretic they gave her in the E.R could have masked the importance of that." Taub proposed.

"Ok!", House exclaimed to put an end to the streaming flow of thoughts "put her on ampicillin and scan her abdomen to rule out any risk of peritonitis"

As he was finishing his sentence, everyone's beeper suddenly started beeping all at once. Foreman looked down at the message and first said:

"I think it's too late for the abdominal scan. She's started vomiting and her temperature is 103. She's already showing peritonitis symptoms"

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**A/N**

_Yes..... House is not just a man, he's also a diagnostician. I thought it was only fair to explore that field too and add some medical mystery to the whole plot, BUT I'm not a doctor (even if I have very few knowledge in that field - very few being the key words here) so please, don't throw rocks at me if there're some mistakes... I tried to make it as plausible as I could..._

_SO!_

_what does it inspire you? do you like it so far? or totally hate it? ... whatever it is you have to say: don't be shy and SHARE your thoughts!_

_**THANK YOU** for your kind words and your enthusiastic comments so far!_

_have a nice day ~ maya_


	16. Chapter 16

_HI EVERYONE!! where have you been?!! :-O ~~ __here's another chapter, where you'll find out that our wonder boy Jimmy can sure be a helpful friend but NOT ALWAYS... _

_I hope you'll enjoy it._

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**CHAPTER 16**

It was early. And as usual, Wilson had already arrived in the PPTH. He liked his morning breakfasts in the hospital's cafeteria. Even at that hour of the day, there were always people around: nurses chatting together, sharing information about the patients before their change of shift, or just gossiping about the doctors staff during the morning pause. The place was lively and he'd rather be here, even if he was sitting alone at his table most of the time but surrounded with people to watch and greet, than alone in his apartment with no one to talk to.

So this morning like the other ones, after he had filled his tray with coffee and muffins, he walked in the room and looked around to find the best table to sit at ; one that would give him a nice view of the whole place. That's when he spotted her, in the back of the cafeteria, sitting alone and hastily eating some eggs while checking her morning mail. He walked towards her.

"Hi! D'ya mind if I join you?" He asked, standing in front of her.

She greeted him with a smile and motioned him to sit down.

"How are you today?" He said, taking place and putting his tray on the table. "You seem fine. Tired maybe but still, fine…"

She stared at him her chin cupped in both hands, on the verge of a nervous laughing reaction.

"Yes, he did." She simply stated, amused.

"Wh.., What ? Did what ? Who did ?" He stammered, caught off guard by her unexpected frankness.

"House," she answered softly "he went to my place. Like you didn't know already!"

"No, I didn't. I haven't seen him today… It's way too early for that and…" He looked puzzled and leaned towards her, suddenly whispering in a secretive tone "So he went to your place? Like, you mean… to…?"

She stared at him intensely but remained silent, her eyes just speaking the truth for her.

"Oh my God!" He exclaimed still whispering "You mean you… You mean House and you?..."

"Wilson, please" She said with a voice that said she didn't buy it at all "You knew this already, don't act all surprised with me. Yes! House and me…" She finished her sentence with a vague gesture of the hand indicating there was indeed something more to add.

"That's great!" He exclaimed spontaneously "I mean that's great, isn't it?" He suddenly wondered out loud when he noticed her weird stare on him. "But how come you're here already, alone? Did things go badly? I mean is he okay?"

"House's okay… and so am I, thanks for asking." She answered in a chuckle, touched by Wilson' concern for his friend.

She suddenly felt a heavy weight oppressing her on the chest. The "thing" was out and Wilson knew about it, and even if House and she had more or less implied that they would not share this secret with any other one, "best friend" was unavoidable. She should have felt relieved but yet, his gaze on her right now was really hard to sustain. It felt like she was being evaluated, judged and scrutinized. She suddenly had this irrepressible urge of defending herself, within an impulsive burst of really stupid words.

"Well you know," she said, sounding strangely very casual "House and I are adults. We know each other for a long time and we know it would be stupid to expect anything serious out of that. Well it happened! Ok so you got me! What can I say? We were both lonely, we needed this and we were there for each other. It's not a big deal. Let's not make it a big deal." She repeated, more to herself this time.

Wilson stared at her with an utterly shocked look and shook his head in dismay.

"Are you telling me this is just for fun?" He asked her, completely embittered.

She took a deep breath and tried to escape the messy situation she has gotten herself into, but it seemed she had already gone a little bit too far to just make things right in a quick twist.

"I'm sorry James, but I don't think this is any of your business." She dismissed him, feeling deeply sorry when she saw the look he sent her. "That changes nothing about the fact that you remain a real and sincere friend of mine and I…"

Wilson raised his hand up in the air in front of her face to motion her to stop and add nothing to what he vivsibly already considered to be nonsense and a useless explanation.

"No, don't be sorry, Lisa." He said with a disenchanted face "I know that's none of my business. It's just that I hope you realize what you're doing. House is not as tough as you think he is. It took him months to get there. It took him years in fact. He maybe seems detached and not involved but that's just him. That's who he is. And that doesn't mean he doesn't care. He has his own way of showing he does, that's all."

She sustained his gaze bravely during each and every second of his speech even if actually, it felt like an eternity in Hell. He was about to add something but she never had the chance to know what it was since they suddenly got interrupted by the most recognizable teasing voice of the hospital.

"Dr. Wilson. Dr. Cuddy! Good morning to you!" House almost chanted in a shout that went all the way to the opposite wall of the cafeteria.

Some heads raised but as soon as they'd identified who the disturber was, they just plunged back to their breakfast unconcernedly. Cuddy stiffened in her chair when she saw him. She wanted to get up and jumped to his neck to kiss him but instead she squeezed the table in her hand, while Wilson studied her reaction. Unaware of the ongoing conversation, House nonetheless sensed something unusual in their behaviors.

"What are you doing here so early?" Cuddy asked, genuinely intrigued.

Instead of answering right back, House took a pause to try to decipher whatever odd thing was going on. But after a few seconds of a most awkward silence, he decided to get back to the purpose that had brought him here. Jumping directly to the point, he answered:

"My patient had a severe peritonitis. She had surgery early this morning. Now she's in ICU…"

"In ICU? After a peritonitis? What's wrong?"

House began to feel the weight of Wilson's look on him and it sent him weird waves of discomfort all along his body. He turned his head towards him to reply to Cuddy's question, making it a double-sense answer.

"I don't know what's wrong!" He exclaimed, staring at Wilson.

Wilson just stared back at him wondering what part of it was a game and what part wasn't.

"I need to do a biopsy of her left ovary." House said out of the blue.

Cuddy repressed an ironic laugh.

"What?" She exclaimed, "You're joking right?"

"No, I'm not." He answered, stubbornly repeating, "I need to do a biopsy of her left ovary."

Cuddy took a deep breath and studied him. His gaze was completely undecipherable. He just looked like nothing other than the usual jerky doctor that would insist on doing crazy stuff that would cause her to lose her patience while prevent him from doing them. It was really strange to actually witness it happen, and even more to be part of it after what had occurred between them the night before.

"No, you don't" She opposed, trying to make him see how every single word in his request was totally sounding wrong "She's just recovering from a surgery. She's in ICU. You can't do a biopsy now. It'll put her at risk."

House sustained her stare and defied her with his, when he replied:

"She has a lump on the pelvis, the surgeon didn't identify what it was but he clearly saw it. We need to know what it is."

"Then do an ultrasound to confirm the presence of a lump and the exact location. If it's there, then…"

"It's THERE!" House retorted, growing impatient "She has a fever of 104. And not going better. What do you want to wait for? That she falls into a coma out of a septic shock?"

"You don't know what it is." She answered, strangely remaining as calm as he was getting upset "Give her a broad spectrum antibiotics cocktail to prevent an infection for the next two days… THEN you can do the biopsy"

She raised her chin to him, fiercely determined not to cave. He dived into her gaze and almost imperceptibly smiled.

"Ok! Fine! Everything you say Dr. Cuddy!"

And all of a sudden, he turned on his heels and left.

Cuddy followed him with her eyes until she could see his silhouette passing the cafeteria exit door. She wasn't aware of the smile half-proud, half-seduced she was wearing on her face, neither was she of Wilson's stare on her; Wilson who had witnessed the whole scene without saying a word and who was now really baffled. Jolted back to reality, Cuddy suddenly looked back in his direction just to see him with his eyes narrowed and his head slightly tilted to the side, studying her. She opened her eyes wide to question him about what he was trying to tell or ask, but Wilson kept silent until he took his tray in his hands, and stood up before gaving her one last baffled look.

"I don't know what it is. And I don't think I want to know. But again, I really hope you both know where you're going with this" He said to her.

And he left her sitting alone and wondering what he meant by that…

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House was standing alone in the elevator, when suddenly Cuddy hastily slid inside and stood next to him, looking straight forward, hands crossed in front of her legs, nonchalantly waiting for the door to close. House gave her a quick glance and conspicuously ignored her as well. But as soon as the door closed, he turned right towards her and leaned down to kiss her. She took a step back and made him freeze with a serious stare so he could understand this was neither the right place nor the right moment. He slightly pouted but straightened up docilely nonetheless.

"I think I might have said something wrong" She told him with a guilty look on her face.

He smiled broadly.

"Of course you have!" He exclaimed "So now, does that mean I can do my biopsy?"

She looked at him with eyes widened and shook her head.

"No, I mean to Wilson" She explained; and to make sure this could be no longer equivocal, she added "AND! I haven't change my mind about the biopsy : you still don't get to do it."

He studied her while at the same time, he evaluated his options. First, he could start a new fight to try winning this battle about the biopsy thing. This should be fun as he always had loved when they had to argue upon medical decisions. She was a great opponent and each time, the way she so ardently stood up to him was such a turn-on … but then, there was option two: she looked embarrassed and troubled and she had just mentioned Wilson. Those two things put together couldn't be good…

"What about Wilson?" He finally chose to ask, trying to hide his worry.

"I think I may have misled him to think I'm a sex maniac." She said looking down in embarrassment.

House looked at her completely taken aback by her confession and burst into laughter.

"And in what way could THIS possibly be something wrong?" He guffawed, pulling a knowing smile and really enjoying teasing her with this.

She glared at him and slapped him on the arm.

"House! This is not funny!" She defended herself.

He suddenly became serious and looked at her with concern.

"What is it?" he questioned, "You're not comfortable with Wilson knowing?… Because sorry, but it's a little late…"

"It's not about that. It's…" she lifted her gaze to him and gathered her strength to explain, "I think he believes I'm just using you as a sex toy and that when you find out, you'll drown yourself into misery."

"And you're not?" He dared provoke, not really knowing at that moment if he wanted to hear the answer.

She intensely gazed at him but remained silent, incapable of phrasing the words out loud. They stared at each other during a moment that seemed to last so long that at some point she lowered her gaze and whispered, with a sorry voice:

"I got confused."

He got really confused as well, losing his ability to understand, with all these weird mixed signals she was sending him.

"Wilson really IS your friend, you know!" She added, trying to explain.

Suddenly it became clear to him. He sighed in relief and came closer.

"He gave you a hard time, didn't he?" He asked, smiling reassuringly.

"I guess he's worried for you." She said, timidly smiling back.

"Cuddy c'mon! Wilson IS the worrying guy! Worry is like oxygen for him! The day he stops worrying would really be the day we should start worrying ourselves. This is about nothing. Don't make a big deal out of it. It's just who he is..."

"That's what I told him."

"What?" He asked, his curiosity suddenly aroused.

"That it wasn't a big deal." She replied, unaware of the effect this simple statement provoked in House's eyes.

He clenched his jaws and looked away for a second, to hide his hurt. Then he turned back to her and perfectly managed to joyfully exclaim:

"Ok so everything's fine!"

"Yes." She answered, sighing and facing the elevator door again

"By the way," he said, carrying on his little game of pretense, "you look hot today, so I thought maybe we can move on to the making out part now? Because I can totally stop that elevator right away if you're ok with it!"

"Yea sure." She said, rolling her eyes and not even looking at him.

House stretched his arm towards the emergency stop button, bending on the side in front of her to press it. She widened her eyes in surprise and hastily grabbed his hand before he could reach it.

"Are you out of your mind?" She exclaimed, frowning disaprovingly at him.

He looked at her with a slight disillusioned smile.

"You have no idea!" He replied.

She opened her mouth to answer but almost quite at the same time, the elevator stopped and the door opened to House's office floor. With a weird and unexpected coincidence, the complete team was standing there, waiting for the elevator to arrive. House immediately refocused himself in front of his fellows.

"News?" He simply asked.

"The abdomen is swollen." Taub said.

"We were going down to find you." Kutner added to justify their presence here.

"Fever isn't getting better," Thirteen explained, "and she's got abundant metrorrhagia"

House walked out of the elevator and Cuddy blocked the door with her hand to prevent it from closing.

"We need to do the biopsy." Foreman said assertively, interrogating House with his eyes to see if he had gotten them the green light.

House turned around to face Cuddy, still standing in the elevator.

"Biopsy?" He whined with an exaggerated begging pout, tilting his head to the side.

Cuddy heavily sighed and looked at him in the eyes, already feeling defeated.

"Ok. But first do an echo to confirm. 'Cause you're not going to stick a needle in her abdomen until you get lucky and find something. You've got one shot. That's all." She said, releasing her grab on the door and taking a step back inside the elevator. He looked at her with a radiant victorious smile before he turned around to face his team.

"You heard her! Let's go!" House shouted to his team and he started to pace down the hallway towards the ICU unit.

The team hastily followed him like disciplined ducklings. The elevator door closed and Cuddy remained pensively standing alone and still, until she realized she needed to activate the elevator if she ever wanted to go somewhere. She pushed the ground floor button, and unconsciously her fingers slightly brushed the emergency stop button. She took a deep breath, promptly looked in the opposite direction and straightened herself up while the elevator started to go down.

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**A/N**

_again, THANK YOU to all of you who have been reviewing. and THANK YOU to those of you who added this story or me in their list of favorites- or alert thing! it puts me under a delicious feeling of pressure, wanting to not disappoint you and I like that!! _

_more of the Ducklings (past and present teams), A BIG DIFFERENTIAL and good ol' friends awaiting you in the next chapter..._

_until then, have a nice day! ~ maya _


	17. Chapter 17

_NEW CHAPTER... as promised: Ducklings past and present, Ol' friends and A BIG DIFFERENTIAL because__ House is not just "a stubborn adolescent idiot" (dixit Cuddy in 3.11 "Words and Deeds"...) cuz' he's also __Head of the Diagnosis Department, isn't he? and somehow, he must have earned that title for some reason..._

_I hope you'll enjoy reading it..._

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CHAPTER 17

It was lunchtime. Foreman had joined Chase and Cameron in the cafeteria to enjoy a quiet little chat with them, and try to loosen up after the morning madness.

"I'm telling you he's different." He was saying, "I mean, he doesn't act normal"

"House _never_ acts normal." Chase rectified, biting in his sandwich.

"What makes you think there is probably something to it?" Cameron asked, sounding more genuinely interested than she would have wished.

"I don't know." Foreman answered. He smiled at the other two amused. "He came to work in the middle of the night whistling."

Chase gave him an approving nod along with an expert look that said only they, men, could understand the true meaning of that kind of behavior. Cameron caught this little coded glance between them and rolled her eyes.

"Maybe House is not the happy chanting kind of guy, but that doesn't mean he has to be miserable all the time. I don't see why he couldn't whistle without it sounding completely apocalyptic!"

Chase tenderly smiled at her.

"Honey," He said, "it's House. Anything unusual about him could be apocalyptic."

She gave him his smile back but ended it with a grimace.

"My guess is he's seeing someone." Foreman stated looking at both of his friends, waiting for a reaction.

"Why would you think that?" Cameron inquired first.

"Let me see" He teased her, pretending to be deeply wondering himself, "He's… uh… happy?"

"Wow!" Chase chuckled, "You mean there's actually someone that can make House happy!"

"Well that would certainly require having some very specific qualities" Cameron said with a slight trace of bitterness in her voice.

"Like what?" Chase teased, turning his head to her and smiling.

"I don't know," Cameron answered in a serious tone, "House likes… challenge."

"So the real question is who could be challenging enough for House to be that someone?" Foreman threw into the debate with a knowing look that implied he already had an answer to suggest.

The three of them exchanged glances over the table, saying without a word that they were all having the same idea. Cameron opened her mouth to say something about that someone whose identity anybody knowing House a little could easily guess but most ironically, she got interrupted by that very not so mysterious person's voice.

"How did it go with the biopsy?"

Foreman immediately straightened up in his chair like a disciplined employee.

"We couldn't do it." He answered "She started to have seizure during the echo. We controlled it with an IV shot of benzodiazepine but she was too weak for the biopsy."

Cuddy sighed, showing she was caring about the patient's health and somehow, this was beginning to become kind of upsetting for her. She gave a look around the cafeteria and then turned her head back to Foreman.

"Where's House?" She asked edgily.

Foreman looked at Cameron and Chase then down to his plate and then up again to Cuddy with a poor smile on his face telling he had no idea.

"Well, he'd better not have disappeared! I hope he's somewhere figuring out how to treat the patient effectively this time! And by the way, shouldn't you be with him, or the others and run some tests or something?"

She shook her head annoyed then turned her heels to them and walked away. Chase raised his eyebrows to show he was quite impressed and gave Foreman a look of sympathy.

"I think she totally meant that lunchtime is over for you, man!" He mocked friendly.

Foreman took his napkin to wipe his mouth and then threw it in his plate before standing up.

"Sorry, I'm not staying with you guys," He smirked at Chase, "but since I've _finished eating_ I don't see a reason why I shouldn't go!"

He left the cafeteria leaving Chase and Cameron happily enjoying the rest of their lunch together, before they returned to their duty themselves.

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"What were you and Cuddy talking about this morning?"

House was closely following Wilson in the cafeteria line, adding his own personal food choices on his friend's tray.

"About what?" Wilson asked, putting a salad next to House's chips and tuna sandwich.

"If I knew I wouldn't ask! You idiot!" House exclaimed, shouting in his ear above his shoulder.

Wilson jumped in surprise but after a second, he stood serenely again and turned his head to smile at House

"If you must know, we talked about… you." He said, grabbing an apple.

"You mean 'you' as in _me_ or 'you' as in…" House asked, deliberately stopping his sentence before he could complete it with the simple two letters word.

"I mean 'you' as in 'you and her'." Wilson replied, putting a name on it for his friend.

As he had arrived at the end of the line, he lifted his tray to head to the cashier's counter. House quickly caught up with him and added a chocolate muffin on it just before the cashier could count all the articles there were to pay.

"What did you say to her?" House insisted.

"I didn't say anything. She did!"

Finally the woman at the cashier's desk announced the price for the food. Wilson waited passively holding his tray in front of her. House, feeling awkwardly and unusually observed, turned to him with an inquiring gaze.

"You said you'd buy me lunch if I'd fix this!" Wilson explained him with a broad grin.

House widened his eyes in complete astonishment.

"Wh…? Well you're not even close to fixing this!" He exclaimed, "You're far from fixing this. Actually I think you just made this worse, that's what you did!"

The cashier coughed and looked at both of them impatiently.

"Excuse me! But someone has to pay for this, and there're people waiting behind…"

In one quick motion, House grabbed his sandwich, chips and muffin out of Wilson's tray and walked away into the crowded cafeteria room. Wilson sighed resignedly and gave a poor smile to the cashier before plunging his hand in his jacket's inner pocket to retrieve his wallet. Once he'd paid, he looked around the room to find his friend and promptly headed towards him as soon as he did.

"Sorry, but didn't you both get what you wanted? A night full of sex, no strings attached…" said Wilson when he joined House at the table.

House's mouth dropped down in bewilderment and he looked up at Wilson, questioning him for more.

"Is that what she said to you?"

"Well… I don't know what she said. I can't tell you anything right now, because I don't understand what you're doing." Wilson admitted when he saw his friend's face, confusion suddenly replacing the clear vision he thought he had after seeing Cuddy in the morning.

He sat down next to House and sighed to show he was sorry. House looked at him and set his lips in an ironic grin. Things were complicated, yes… That's what their silent stare was saying to each other. Wilson grabbed a fork and started to eat his salad to divert himself from the heavy feeling of awkwardness now floating in the air. House in front of him, seemed absent. He was twiddling with his napkin and hadn't touched his food yet. It clearly was a sign that something was worrying him.

"Oh-ho! Maybe she was using you to get pregnant!" Wilson said in an extravagant voice, shyly attempting to make a joke.

House glared at him, which strangely got Wilson annoyed. He wasn't the one responsible for this. They were! For the last two days, and actually the last past months, they had come storming in his office crying and longing one after the other and hoping for things to move forwards between them, seeking for approval, encouragement or whatever. And now they'd done it. Great! Perfect! But for God's sake, how could he, Wilson, do anything to change the fact that it didn't work out? It wasn't his fault after all! They'd both looked like they wanted this to happen, and then this morning, quite puzzlingly, it's seemed they didn't. But now House seemed all confused and he couldn't get it. There was nothing rational in this and it was utterly disturbing for him.

"What?" Wilson exclaimed, suddenly letting his anger and own confusion out. "What can possibly shock you now? You know sex can lead to making babies sometimes… it's not a gross word! And Cuddy wanted one, so she probably wouldn't have terminate if…"

At some point during Wilson's little monolog, House narrowed his eyes and stared blankly in front of him with an inspired look. Then all of a sudden, without a warning or saying a word, he stood up and started to stride away, leaving Wilson flabbergasted.

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Coming directly from the cafeteria where he had left Wilson, House stormed into the conference room where his team was all gathered around the glass table, studying the patient file attentively and trying to find some answers inside medical reviews. As soon as he spotted him in the room, Foreman informed him that Cuddy was looking for him.

"Forget about Cuddy!" House exclaimed waving the air in front of him with a wide gesture of the hand, promptly dismissing the subject. "What can cause Nausea, vomiting, low BP, radiating pain in the shoulder and peritonitis?"

"Tests confirmed an ancient non treated Chlamydia infection, so we've already established it was salpingitis." Thirteen said raising her head.

"Yes you have. And Daddy's very proud of you. But then why is the patient still not better?"

Having no rational explanation to give, Thirteen just smiled and had no choice than to lower her gaze and remain silent.

"It's been only 24 hours since she's on antibiotics for the infection. She needs more time for the meds to stimulate her weakened immune system." Taub tried to objectify.

"Thanks for playing along Dr Taub, but even if you're partially right, we should AGAIN at least have already observed a little improvement in the patient status. And then… what happened this morning?"

"She had a seizure." Kutner said, stating an already known fact.

"Yes but _why_ is what's much more interesting than just saying she has."

Everyone looked at each other confused, waiting for one of them to have an insightful suggestion to make.

"Let me help you." House said standing at the end of the table, juggling with his cane. "Did the patient have red eyes when she was first admitted in the E.R?"

Foreman hastily checked in the patient file.

"It said she was vomiting and complaining about the nausea." He read.

"She'd also had more than the reasonable dose of alcohol," Taub sighed a little annoyed "she was drunk, that's all."

"Taub is right." Thirteen said supportively, taking the file in Foreman's hands to check something. Turning the pages, she finally found what she was looking for. "2.3mg." She announced. "With this blood alcohol concentration, she had at least one good reason to have red eyes." She continued to review the file and then added: "Ok so it's said here that she indeed had red eyes but it's not written down as a symptom it's just a report of her drunken status."

"Is that your way of saying it's not relevant?" House asked provoking her.

"I don't know but apparently they didn't consider it was important in the E.R."

"Oh, so now we can't assume something could be telling more than it seems if it's not 'important' for the E.R medical staff?

She sustained her gaze for a few second but yielded and finally looked away.

"Why would you ask us about her having red eyes?" Foreman said, curious.

"Finally! Someone's raising a good point! I was beginning to think I was the only one making the differential here!... but then wait… I AM the only one making the differential here, or I'd rather say I'm not _making_ a differential, I'm just giving you the answer."

"What answer?" Kutner required impatiently.

"She had red eyes because she has conjunctivitis. Combine it with the fever, the dysuria and the seizure…"

"Reiter's syndrome?" Foreman proposed.

House looked at him and theatrically nodded. Now that they thought they had their diagnosis, Taub and Thirteen started to stand up, already ready to move on to the next part of the process: administrate the right meds and cure the patient. But Kutner remained seated and kept looking at House.

"Reiter's syndrome explains the fever, the red eyes, the dysuria but what explains the lump in the abdomen?" He asked, knowing that there still was something that needed to be clarified.

House proudly looked at him with a fully satisfied smile.

"Ha! Good question Kutner!" He looked at the others faking disappointment "As to you! Shame on you! You were already rushing away and yet it was just about to become interesting."

Taub and Thirteen glanced at each other intrigued and sat down docilely, thereby admitting they probably had jumped to conclusions too hastily.

"You see," House started, while the four were eagerly waiting to hear the rational explanation that would finally make sense, "Kutner is too romantic…"

Kutner opened his mouth to protest but House cut him off.

"You were not very bowled over the salpingitis' diagnosis to begin with. And strange, by the way that it was Thirteen's idea to propose this so sexually related disease…"

This time it was Thirteen's turn to look at House a little shocked, but in the end she knew it was only a game designed to make his point, so she smirked but said nothing. House acknowledged her silence with a discreet nod and went on. Deep down inside him, he felt suddenly bitter and sad when he added:

"The truth is you don't need to be in a relationship to have sex. However shocking it might seem to you…"

Kutner again tried to say something but it was pointless.

"Oh and I say 'you' but I don't mean _you_" House said looking at Taub and promptly pulling himself together after this little weakness he had just shown, only he was aware of. "'cause you already know that, don't you? I mean the guy is married but he goes philandering irrepressibly nonetheless..."

"House!" Foreman interrupted "What are you trying to say here?"

"Oops sorry! Did I get carried away?" House replied with a mischievous smile to Foreman. "Well you're right we have no time to joke. The patient might be dying, I mean IF I hadn't figured out what was wrong with her. Because you see what I'm trying to say here is that our 21 year old young woman is not only an alcoholic but she's also a naughty girl."

He waited a few second to let his last words enter everyone's ears.

"She had sex!" He exclaimed "plenty of it, most probably unsafe sex, hence the salpingitis and the Reiter's syndrome as a complication of it. The problem is once you start acting like a stupid irresponsible moron, why should you stop?"

"What do you mean?" Kutner asked his eyes and ears all opened to learn the best he could out of it.

"She got pregnant!"

"You mean she's having a baby?" Taub inquired doubtfully.

"I know you think I'm not into the big family concept thing but '_a lump in the abdomen_'? D'ya really think I'm _that_ insensible I would call it a baby?" House exclaimed in an exaggerated shocked tone.

"Well if she's not pregnant, what is it then?" Thirteen asked to re-focus on the patient.

"What would you do if you're 21, completely carefree, no obligation, living just for the fun, getting drunk and having sex with random guys, until you found out your little Saturday nights orgies have just got you pregnant?"

"I'll have an abortion!" Kutner said all excited by his insight.

"Well not _you_!" House mocked him, "But you're right. That's what she certainly did. And judging by her total lack of responsibility I'd say she probably didn't have just one. That's why if we could have done the echo this morning, we probably would have seen the multiple scars that the repeated curettages she had to terminate her pregnancies have left her."

"But…" Kutner started and then stopped, censoring himself before he could say anything stupid.

"With the salpingitis and the weakened immune system left by the Reiter's syndrome, I'd say these interventions just gave her the little infection her body couldn't deal with this time."

Everyone looked at House with interrogative eyes.

"Pelvic Phlegmon." He stated, hitting his cane on the floor to emphasize his brilliant deduction.

They all remained seated waiting in doubt for House to say something else, not sure that there couldn't be another point behind this one to continue the reasoning. But House tilted his head on the side and gave a circular look at the table, silently studying everyone; then he exclaimed, really enjoying this:

"What are you waiting for? Go! Go save the patient now that you've had me figure it all out for you! Start her on Sulfasalazine for the Reiter's syndrome and give her 1g of Gentamicine for the Phlegmon.

"She's 120 lbs, it's a high dosage for the antibiotic." Foreman objected.

"There's no other way. We are already late with this." House responded firmly, clearly establishing there would be no discussion about this. "It's either that or she loses her uterus if the meds doesn't start kicking the infection out of her system in the next 24 hours."

Foreman nodded and as they all had every explanation there was to give, the four stood up and hastily left the conference room to do what they were told.

House looked at them walking away and went to his office. He sat down at his desk and gave a look at his watch. Not even the middle of the afternoon yet and he was terribly missing her. He sighed heavily. What was the point of that if he was only a game to her? He put his elbows on the desk surface and plunged his head inside his hands, slowly rubbing his face to help him collect his ideas and thoughts. Then he cradled his chin in his palms and tried to see what had gone wrong. But there was nothing he could see. Except for the conversation they had in the elevator in the morning when she'd said to him she got confused after having spoken with Wilson, he couldn't name one thing wrong about her.

She was still the same annoying bossy tremendously sexy hot woman who just gave him a reason to live for the challenge and still find it exciting. She just had to enter a room and she made his head spin. She was the only woman that could drive him so crazy he could punch her sometimes but despite that, she was the only one he would only want to hold in his arm instead every time he saw her. She was the only woman with whom he knew he couldn't get bored; the only one unpredictable enough to be able to surprise him, but way too sincere to even think about lying to him.

And even if he wanted so badly to be sure of that, it changed nothing about the fact that in the end, everybody lied. And maybe, sadly, even she wasn't an exception to it.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_Merci mille fois pour tous les commentaires super sympas que vous prenez le temps de me laisser!! Concernant l'usage de l'anglais, j'ai été sincèrement TRÈS touchée de voir que je parvenais à l'écrire d'un façon qui était suffisamment correcte pour ne pas trop manquer de respect à cette langue que j'affectionne tout particulièrement. En tout cas, j'essaye de faire du mieux que je peux... MERCI pour les encouragements et toutes ces pensées positives que vous m'envoyez! vous êtes EXTRAS!! _

_Oops..... sorry, I felt the need to speak in my own language just a little, due to some messages and reviews I received lately... so here's what I was saying:_

_thank you so much for all the real nice reviews you take the time to leave for me... As to me writing in English, I've been sincerely and deeply touched to know that you thought I was doing it in a way that was ok enough to not be too disrespectful to that language (which I really love). anyway, I'm trying my best... THANK YOU for your kind words and all the good vibes you send me!! YOU ROCK!! _

_**thanks!!**_

_and until next chapter enjoy, have fun, go wild!! ~ maya_


	18. Chapter 18

_NEW CHAPTER! where you find out that trying to build a relationship (especially when it involves two emotionally guarded characters) is a hell of a complicated thing!! but isn't it what makes it worth the try?...._

_I hope you'll still enjoy reading this... _

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**CHAPTER 1****8 **

The patient would soon be fine. At least that's what House was convinced about. He had done what he was brilliant at: give a diagnosis and help find the right solution at the right time to save another human being. And now he was not needed anymore. His team was perfectly capable of handling the case from now on without him. Wilson's couch could be his usual retreat solution but strangely he didn't really want to see Wilson. It was as if he felt they wouldn't be able to talk about the real important things and yet, that's what he needed and wanted at that very moment. And he might as well face it, the truth was even far beyond that; because what he really wanted was not only to _talk_ about the real important thing, he also wanted to _see_ the real important thing. He wanted to be with her. _She_ was his real important thing. His obsessive thought. The only one his mind could focus on. There was no need to fight this. He knew it was useless to pretend he could resist.

He glanced again at his watch. 3.45pm. She should be in her office. He closed his eyes for a second and he saw her. Her curly hair floating around her beautiful face, her blue eyes, her incredible smile. The way she was standing, the way she crossed her legs. The way she looked at him, the way she made him feel… He took a deep breath and without thinking twice he grabbed his cane and stormed out of his office.

When he arrived at the ground floor, he entered the clinic and went directly to her office door. There, a now familiar young man welcomed him solemnly, standing between him and Cuddy's door.

"Good afternoon Dr. House. May I help you?" The young man asked timidly with an unsure voice.

It was really the last thing House wanted to have to deal with but at the same time really just the one thing easy enough for him to seize as an occasion to play a little. He studied the young man and narrowed his eyes as he came closer.

"Warren, is that it?" House said, leaning down, "I'm sure you're really the most devoted assistant Dr. Cuddy has ever had the chance to have in years, but… the answer is 'No thanks! I already know my way in'."

He smiled and tried to walk past Warren but most unexpectedly and although he couldn't help shrinking a little, the young man kept on standing bravely in front of the door.

"Dr. Cuddy is not here." He said, hoping this simple statement would be enough to make him understand it was unnecessary to insist.

But of course, there was nothing that could make House renounce about something he had set his mind on even if at the first glance, reality or logic could prove him wrong. Even more, when reality or logic would prove him wrong… so he stubbornly stood in front of the young assistant and took a step forwards. Warren instantly took one back at the same time, which made House inwardly laugh. The blinds were closed and he couldn't see inside the office but he knew Warren was telling the truth.

"She had a meeting at Princeton General this afternoon." Warren added to make his point.

House felt extremely disappointed but yet it changed nothing about the fact that he furiously wanted to be there nonetheless. He needed to be in her world surrounded by her stuff. He wanted nothing other than being alone inside that room and feeling her presence while she was away.

"It's ok" he said to Warren, "I'm going to wait in her office."

"She will be absent all day." Warren specified, to make it obvious there was no point in staying here.

Really intrigued and quite impressed by this reckless opposition, more than he actually was by the explanation that Warren gave him, House leaned closer and intensely scrutinized him. He decided that it was time to change strategy. This kid was interestingly challenging to him and the funniest part of that was he didn't even seem to realize he was.

"Warren!" House exclaimed, "You seem like a clever guy to me; and really it's important that you are because then, I know you totally understand how we, doctors, have really big, big responsibilities."

Warren looked at him in doubt, as he obviously was trying to process where this could be leading him.

"And you do remember about that young woman that was so sick yesterday, you had to bring me her file, don't you?" House carried on, showing a dramatic face.

Warren seemed concerned.

"I don't get to read the medical files, I'm not a doctor you know." He answered, almost sounding sorry about that. "Is she feeling any better?" He then asked, out of a fit of true genuine caring.

House looked down and took a long pause, as if he was thinking about what he could or couldn't share about the patient's medical status. Then he stared back at Warren and shook his head no, with a very worried and bemused gaze. Finally he added a big and heavy sigh and waited for his little act to trigger the awaited reaction. Warren seemed to hesitate for a few second, but then he looked around him and comprehensively asked:

"Dr. House, do you need something in Dr. Cuddy's office?"

House faked to be relieved.

"Actually I do. Dr. Cuddy has this encyclopedia about very rare infectious diseases. I need to check something in it to confirm about my diagnosis. Time counts here Warren. The patient's health is at stake."

Warren showed he really understood by nodding emphatically and then he opened the door for House to go inside. House looked at him gratefully and walked in the office but when Warren who followed him quite unconsciously was about to pass the doorstep, he immediately held his arm up to prevent him from entering and promptly slam the door shut in his face.

"You've been very helpful Warren," House cried out from behind the door, as he locked himself inside, "but you know Dr. Cuddy. She's going to be really, really mad, when she finds out someone went through her stuff… so I don't want you to be involved in this, and I mean that for your own good."

Warren helplessly struggled to open the door by twisting the knob frenetically in all directions he could, but he had to resign himself to admit it was useless. This Dr. House was really too weird for him and he didn't want to have trouble trying to stand up to him. Dr. Cuddy seemed already special enough and as her assistant he had all the challenge that he could get, even more than he'd wish sometimes. So, after a short time, Warren just released his grab on the door knob and returned to his desk where he sat down, pretending nothing had happened.

Finally alone, House looked around him and rapidly realized every sign that confirmed Cuddy had left her office to go out of the hospital. Her coat wasn't hung behind the door. Her computer was turned off. Everything was well put in order. He looked at her desk and pictured her sitting on her chair; how she had this very specific way of tilting her head up and looking at him when he entered her office. He walked round the desk and pulled the chair out to sit down. Once he did, he put his cane to rest against the desk and waited in silence, looking around and not really knowing what to do.

He wished to see her. He needed to see her. In this moment, nothing else was important but that. Suddenly he didn't care any longer that she told him it wasn't a big deal. It had hurt him like hell at first, but now he knew the most important thing was that he just wanted to be with her. And he could perfectly understand why she would want to protect herself. He couldn't blame her for not wanting to be involved. He was a jerk and she didn't want to be hurt. She had asked him if he wanted a relationship and he had answered he didn't know. Maybe at that moment, it had been been the only truth that existed but if she would ask him the question again maybe his answer would be different this time. He certainly wouldn't say yes, but at least he would be able to come up with a better explanation to make her understand why.

He didn't want to lose her and the fact that he should put a word on what he was feeling was really frightening for him. Because he feared it could ruin the sincerity of it. Being in a relationship wasn't something that needed to be said. It was just something that needed to be lived. And he was not very good at naming things anyway. Except when it came to diseases and medical mysteries, he had always been better at feeling and sensing emotions than at phrasing or sharing them with others.

But maybe now, the time had come for him to make a little effort and just let it out. He covered his mouth with his fingertips and nervously bit his nails. God! He so wanted that woman! That shouldn't be so difficult to say. He took a deep breath and smiled at his own cowardice. She's proven to be so much more courageous than he was. He owed her to be honest for once. He owed HIM to be honest.

He saw the desk pad just in front of him and before he could give it a second thought, he grabbed a pen and ripped a sheet out of it.

_**I WANT YOU**_

He wrote first, but then he felt a lump in his throat. He couldn't write that to her. She would think it was just some sexual teasing message and he wanted to say so much more than just this. He wanted her in that way… yes; but he also wanted her in so many others. He took the sheet and crumpled it before throwing it in the trash can. He took another sheet and rubbed his forehead. She made him fragile and doubtful and he couldn't think straight. It was both terrifying and exciting at the same time. He didn't know what to write but he felt he could make her understand what he would have wanted to if she let him try.

_**MY HOUSE, TONIGHT? **_

He looked down at his note and held it in front of his eyes. The small sheet of paper was slightly trembling; or maybe it was his hand... He folded the sheet in two to hide the text when he thought someone else beside her could read it. He opened the drawer and fumbled into it. Then victoriously, he took a paper clip out of it. With it, he attached his folded message onto a blank page and put it on the desk just right in the middle of it, where she wouldn't miss it when she would return from her meeting or whatever it was; because he was sure she probably would come here to check her emails or make some phone calls before heading back to her house.

He contemplated the blank sheet with the little folded message clipped on it and he thought it was really not that obvious that this was supposed to be a message for her. So he took the pen back and on the folded part of his message he drew a little house. Nothing else than just the shape of it but he thought, enough to make her see that there was something lying under that piece of paper. Satisfied, he looked at it and stood up. He walked across the room and unlocked the door. When he opened it he saw Warren jump on his seat at the sight of him. He gave him a big satisfied smile.

"Thank you Warren, you've been a really precious help here!" He said, and he walked out of Cuddy's office.

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It was around 6.00pm when the meeting finally came to an end at Princeton General. Cuddy had to be there as it was about some really important administrative decisions regarding the medical equipment the two hospitals could or couldn't share. According to the agreement they had made, she then had to anticipate the budget for all the new equipment her hospital should acquire. On her way out of Princeton General, Cuddy looked at her watch. She was tired and she really didn't feel like going back to her office. She wanted to take these high heels off, take a shower, change clothes and put a more comfortable outfit on. But if she wanted to allow herself to do that, she needed to be sure that everything would be ready for her to start her day on this budget matter as early as possible the next morning. She took her cell phone and called her assistant. Fortunately, and quite impressively, she found out with relief that he was still there. She had to admit that even if he wasn't' really as smart as she would have expected him to be, he was devoted to his job and that had proved to be more and more useful by the time. On the phone, Cuddy explained to Warren that she wouldn't return back to the hospital but needed him to prepare some files for her nonetheless. She named them specifically and indicated to him to put them all on her desk for her to find them the following day. She thanked him and told him that he could go home after he'd taken care of that.

Warren docilely gathered all the files she had mentioned and with the big pile in his hands, he entered her office where he put them all on her desk, on top of that blank page that was just oddly placed in the middle of it, with nothing written on it.

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House's patient seemed to be stable. At least her status hadn't gotten worse since the team had started her on the new treatment for the Phlegmon. Everything was going on just as expected. House decided it was time for him to go home. When he arrived at his apartment it was still early but he couldn't help to check every minute for the time. He imagined her when she went back to the hospital. He was hoping she had seen her message, and then he couldn't help glancing at the clock again. But he sighed when he saw that he probably would have to wait for her.

He sat at his piano and played some random old jazz tunes to let the time slip away gently. After a few songs, he stopped playing and through the window he saw darkness outside. He bit his bottom lip and stood up to go pour himself a drink. Again he glanced at the clock and bitterly noticed the late hour. He sighed, not ready to resign himself to acknowledge the painful fact.

Maybe something had kept her busy but now she was on her way and soon would be here. With a glass of bourbon in his hand, he went back to his piano and sat down. He put the glass of alcohol on the glossy surface and started playing some pieces of blues again, looking straight ahead at the door, almost staring at it, and hoping he would finally hear a knock. But the minutes passed by and then the hours and the whole evening finally allowed the night to take its place. And when it became really obvious that she wouldn't show, House downed his fourth glass of bourbon in one gulp along with two vicodin. He stood up, as straight as he could and stumbled painfully to his bedroom.

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Cuddy had come home. It was not too late and it was a delicious feeling to be able to have a whole evening ahead to enjoy the quiet peace of her house. She had taken a shower and finally put these comfortable clothes she had dreamed of wearing all day on. Fresh and relaxed, she had cooked herself something to eat, put it on a tray to eat in her living room. She had turned some music on and had sat down on her couch.

The time indeed pleasantly passed by. But as it did, she began to feel more and more alone and not as relaxed as she assumed she was. Her mind started to wander and she thought about him. He was challenging, abrasive, argumentative, uncompromising and all kinds of annoying other things but he was also funny, witty, insightful, charming, tender, soft and all kinds of other delightful pleasing things. And she was missing him. She surprised herself looking at the clock and wondering why he hadn't come here. She really would have wished that he had.

Suddenly she heard a noise coming from outside and she almost jumped out of her couch and ran to her front door. Without even glancing throughout the peephole, she opened it, a large smile on her face so eagerly waiting to see him, but to her extreme disappointment, she saw there was nobody standing there. She took a step out and gave a look around but she was definitely alone. Darkness was spreading and a cold breeze started to blow. She shrank, as a sudden feeling of cold hit her and she crossed her arms around her chest to warm herself up. Then she walked back inside her house and closed the door behind her. Leaning against it, she sighed heavily. She shouldn't feel so disappointed. They had promised nothing to each other, and it wasn't even planned that he should come to her house tonight. She had just reacted as if it was something due and it was surely a stupid thing to do when it involved House. She should have known better.

And yet, she so would have wanted him to make love to her all night. She had thought of that all day. She had barely seen him and the only encounter they'd had in the elevator was really odd and had left her with an awkward sensation. She couldn't explain why but all she knew was that she hadn't been quite herself. She had known that almost as soon as she had finished speaking with Wilson. She knew she hadn't been completely honest with him, or with herself. That's why she had felt the urge to see House. She needed to explain herself, because she owed him that. She couldn't lie to him and, as Wilson was his friend, he probably would have told him anyway. So she needed to explain why she had totally sounded wrong with Wilson, while explaining what had happened between them. Because it was not what she had wanted to say... but it was not easy to just admit something so powerful and frightening when she wasn't sure herself what it was.

She was afraid. And stupid. And the truth was she had just deflected because it was beyond her control. It had just slip out of her mouth and as soon as she had phrased the words 'not a big deal', she had known Wilson would have been angry at her but it was too late... that's what she had tried to explain to House later in the elevator, when she had said she'd gotten confused. And she hoped he had understand her and forgiven her for it.

She straightened herself and went to her kitchen. She opened her fridge and took the bottle of wine that she had opened for House and her the night before. She smiled when she remembered what he had told her about the white wine being a predictable female drink.

_But not as predictable as she was_... She quivered at the memory of him saying it with his hoarse low voice, while he was staring intensely at her. She glanced at the clock again. It was too late now to hope for him to come. She had to reconcile herself to that fact. She sighed and poured herself a glass of wine. Then, carrying the glass in her hand, she walked back in her living room to finish her dinner. Alone.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_Hi everyone! :-)_

_I'm posting early today because I'm leaving to go to a wedding tomorrow morning so I won't be around this week end... and I have tons of things to do before I go!... _

_SO THIS PLACE IS ALL YOURS!! please let me know what you think of the storyline so far! how would you like things to go? what do you like, dislike? what do you think of Warren, the ingenuous assistant? What about the note House left?... Do you think "Huddy" has a chance to go somewhere? What will House's reaction be?... What SHOULD it be?... anything you want to say! please SAY IT!..._

_anyway thank you for reading this story and make it alive!..._

_in the meantime, ENJOY LIFE! ~ maya_


	19. Chapter 19

_NEW CHAPTER NOW! where you'll find out that House may appear to be the most self-righteous and cantankerous man, in the end, it's just to hide how fragile and unsure he is...._

_I hope you're still enjoying the story... please let me know what you think..._**

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**~~ CHAPTER 19 ~~**

The next morning, House woke up and he saw he had received five calls on his cell during the night. But as he had set his phone on buzzer, he hadn't heard it ring through his agitated sleep. All messages had been left by Foreman to update him about the patient. It seemed that the treatment didn't go as well as planned after all. In the evening, the patient had started to complain about abdominal pain and around eneven p.m, she inexplicably began to lose a lot of blood. When House arrived at the hospital, with some remaining traces of a hangover, he went directly to his office and asked for details. He was grumpy and needed to focus all his energy on the medical case to be able to distract his mind from Cuddy.

She hadn't shown up at his place and it had hurt. But he was an adult and he was perfectly capable of understanding these kinds of signals whenever they were sent to him. So Cuddy didn't want to go to his house? Fine! He didn't need further explanations; that was enough for him to understand that it meant she didn't want to be with him, and that she had used him to comfort herself. Now she had moved on. She probably had thought that it wouldn't be that important since it was him... God, he was House after all! The jerk that slept with hookers, the man that was incapable of being in a serious relationship, and hadn't been in years because to everyone's eyes, he was not that kind of man. And based upon that so easy to rely on truth, she hadn't thought it was necessary to even call him or explain. And the feeling… the feeling that it had left him with was beyond words. But as he was House, he, in his so twisted personal way, had managed to blame himself for that, and of course, right after that, he'd started to hate others for having the weakness of blaming him first.

That's why, when he arrived in PPTH in the morning, he was in his best cantankerous state of mind; and his leg was hurting him like hell, perfectly mirroring the pain he was experiencing in his soul, but was still refusing to acknowledge. He had walked through the entrance hall without glancing at the clinic, striding as fast as he could to the elevator. When he arrived at his floor, he had walked along the hallway, or really more like limped with difficulty, because his leg was excruciatingly painful and once in front of the conference room, he had given a hard strong push on his cane to provide him with the last impulse of energy he needed to barge into the room and look determined enough to hide anything else in his behavior that could betray his real state of mind.

The team explained to him that the bleeding was coming from the patient's uterus as it appeared she had had a miscarriage due to an undiagnosed extra-uterine pregnancy. They hadn't been able to see it because with all the latest symptoms, they hadn't made any scan or echo of her abdomen that could have lead them to identify what was wrong. The pattern of her successive crashes from the nausea, to the peritonitis and the seizure had prevented them from taking the time to make these simple exams. They had to treat the urgency and that's what they have been doing, and when they had they surely had made the right decision. But now they had to face the limit of their omniscience and the limit of what they could handle all at the same time.

The external egg had ruptured, causing the wall of her uterus to tear. Combined with the pelvic phlegmon, it had caused an internal haemorrhage, and they couldn't have anticipated it. The only thing they had been able to do was to react, again in urgency, and face the unpredictable. Waiting for House all night, the team had to treat the bleeding first, so they'd given her all the blood transfusion she needed to have to compensate it, but they all knew a bigger decision had to be made. And House was the one that should be making that decision. In a word it was all about deciding whether she should have another surgery or stay on antibiotics for the Phlegmon and hope it would finally work.

"You didn't answer your cell tonight." Thirteen stated, in a neutral tone not even blaming House for his silence.

"And?" He barked, "You think if I did, I would have magically prevent the patient from bleeding out to hell with the power of my reassuring voice over the phone?"

Thirteen looked down and set her lips, immediately understanding that it was apparently one of House's really bad mornings and that it would be stupid to even try to pace one step further on that stormy road.

"This kid is a moron!" He almost yelled, practically accusing everyone in the room for that, "More than one abortion and it didn't even teach her a lesson. She had to be pregnant again! God! Even trollops are smarter …at least they know they have to use condoms."

"What do you think we should do?" Kutner asked cautiously, already knowing it would trigger House's next bark and resignedly waiting for it to blow out.

"What do I think WE should do? I don't know… let me think… how about, just let her die!?" House snarled, "It certainly won't be a great loss for the world. And obviously there'll be no poor children crying over her, since she's incapable of making one 'til the end of the process correctly."

After all these years spent working by his side, Foreman had learned to know House a little. At least a little more than the other fellows. And it was easy for him to see that House's behavior had nothing to do with the case and that he probably had good reasons for reacting like he was but they surely weren't medically related. He wasn't taken in by this little act of his. He stared at him with angry eyes, silently exhorting him to stop overreacting like he was, venting this so uncalled-for anger in this so inappropriate moment, because it was only slowing down the final decision, whereas it was becoming really necessary to make one. Foreman's silent intense glare mentally slapped House and he softened a little, refocusing on the medical purpose.

"How much blood did she lose?" He asked trying to collect all the important facts out of this nightmarish scenario.

"A lot." Foreman stated simply, "But we've managed to control it. She's now stable. The bleeding stopped two hours ago. But she's weak and the fever has come back."

"Which means," House started to think out loud, "the infection is back. And is getting worse… which means that her uterus must be sceptic or even necrotic…"

He interrupted himself without finishing his sentence, and stared blankly straight ahead, with his head slightly tilted to the side. Then he put his hand in his pocket and in one quick and impatient gesture, he took two Vicodins out of it and threw the pills in his mouth, swallowing them dry by pushing them down his throat with a swift tilt of the head back.

"We need to book an O.R." He finally said to the team. "Looks like our little slut just found the radical solution to her lack of responsibility issues."

Taub raised an eyebrow in disbelief, not really sure he had understood what he thought it meant.

"Are you saying you want to…" He began.

"Do a hysterectomy? YES!" House answered looking at him with an ironic smile.

"But you can't!" Taub exclaimed baffled and a little shocked with House's radical solution, "She's too weak, she can…"

"Die?... Is that what you're warning me about? She's dying NOW!" House shouted, "And her uterus is still in there, so can you just maybe consider for one second that this is the infection's source? And that it could help her if we're taking it out of her system?"

Taub looked at him silently for a few seconds, intensely measuring his gaze against House's. Then he sighed heavily and looked away. He knew that there was nothing much to say to try to fight against House's determined and most stubborn ideas when he had his mind set on one, like he had now.

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"Where's House?"

Foreman was alone in the conference room. The team had to go check for the patient and prep her for the surgery. House was… God only knew where and he was there, sitting at the conference room glass table, reviewing some medical articles about pelvic infections, trying to find an alternate solution to House's radical one, even if he knew it would certainly be useless, considering how determined House seemed to be, really wanting to proceed with the surgery. He also almost seemed to be angry at the patient, whereas he had never seen her and it was kind of puzzling; but it was House and even if it was still a little confusing from time to time, he had learned to not really pay attention to it. The only matter being that, however messed up he could be, he rarely screwed up a medical decision and remained by far still the most reliable asset when it came to diagnose a patient.

Foreman looked up to see Cuddy standing at the door and questioning him impatiently with an annoyed face. He straightened in his chair and put the review down.

"I think he's… in the lab?" He tried to propose as an answer to her, though not really sounding convincing.

Cuddy shook her head and rolled her eyes, showing how dismayed she was by that so obvious lie. She certainly would have wanted to express her tiredness with this, and how she was exhausted by always having to run after House and try to show him the right path, but she hadn't the time for that now. Instead, she just sighed.

"House is not in the lab, he's not in the clinic, and not with the patient either. He's actually nowhere he should be if he was properly earning the money I pay him for doing his job!!"

Foreman gave her a poor innocent look, saying: "_Don't blame me. It's not my fault if you can't control the man_". Cuddy saw that look and took it as a provocation towards her ability to manage House. Proud as she was, it immediately lit the anger fuse in her.

"He's booked an O.R for this afternoon, can you explain why?" She demanded with a snappish voice.

Foreman looked at her in embarrassment but remained silent. Cuddy sighed heavily and glared at him.

"All right. Fine." She said slightly narrowing her eyes, "Then here's what you're going to do. You're going to find him. And then you tell him to get his ass in my office. Stat.!"

She turned on her heels and left before Foreman had the chance to answer anything.

The team came back from the ICU not long after and Foreman asked them about House. Kutner explained that the last time he'd caught sight of him he was going to see Chase to set the details of the surgery and show him the patient file.

"We need to page him" Foreman said with a worried look "It's not sure yet that the surgery is going to happen"

"What do you mean?" Thirteen asked in bewilderment. "House has made himself really clear about that: if we don't do the surgery…"

"House is pissed. From the moment he had the case there were a lot of things, he missed in the patient's condition."

"He's the one who found out about the Phlegmon!" Kutner exclaimed, shocked that Foreman could try to imply House had messed up with the case.

"I know" Foreman answered "but does it necessarily mean he has to be right about the hysterectomy too?"

"Are you saying we shouldn't do it"? Taub questioned, a little surprised by this sudden U-turn in what he thought was a collegial medical decision.

"No. I think he's probably right. But maybe there's someone who thinks he isn't. And she's waiting for him in her office right now."

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Some time later, the team finally had managed to reach House. The fact that he would have to confront Cuddy about his decision to put the patient into surgery was inevitable and yet he almost unconsciously didn't realize he would have to. So when his fellows informed him she was waiting for him in her office, he pretended that they all needed to go there because it would be more convincing and effective and then as a consequence really shorter, in a way that it wouldn't be a waste of time, unnecessarily spent on arguing while the patient needed an intervention. But the real truth was that the simple idea of seeing her just gave him a tight throat and he didn't want to confront her alone.

Cuddy of course needed an explanation about House's decision. As a doctor, when she had found out about what he was planning on doing, she had immediately thought it was risky, given the fact that the patient had already had a surgery less than two days before and was clearly weaken by a very severe infection. And as the Dean of Medicine, that was the kind of risk she didn't want to involve her hospital in, not without at least having heard strong medical arguments to convince her there was no other choice first. And her pragmatic mind told her there were other solutions, because the patient was young, and she would have more valuable chances to fight the infection with an appropriate treatment, should they double the dosage if needed, but the surgery seemed a little reckless to her at that moment.

As to her woman's heart, it was not really resigned yet to deprive such a young girl of her uterus. She knew it wasn't reasonable to let that kind of feeling interfere but she couldn't help it: she was a doctor but she was a woman who cared too and she wasn't ashamed to think with her heart as much as with her brain when it came to make radical decisions that could change a patient's life course forever. And in that girl's case, a hysterectomy when she was that young and had no children yet was of course something that triggered some very personal issues and she couldn't deny it but deep in her heart she was convinced she had to give the young girl a chance. There were other options, she was sure about that and she wanted to explore them with House before jumping right to the O.R and cut into that poor girl's abdomen.

She was prepared for a fight and she knew it would feel utterly strange if it should happen. Especially when she hadn't had the chance to see him the night before and when she knew she would rather not spend her time arguing with him. Her morning had been awfully busy, she had spent all her time sorting out the budget issues and she really needed to be with him. Of course the hospital wasn't the ideal place to make out but just seeing him and exchanging glances and smiles, which would tell about later promises to keep, would be enough of a comforting sensation for her. So she was waiting for him, feeling a little impatient and stressed because this should be a test and she knew that the way things were about to go in this particular situation would really tell a lot about whether they would have a chance to become something together or not. But she had to confess she was a little excited too because this, they couldn't deny it, was what had fueled their hunger for each other during all the years they had spent working together. That was the fuse of the blasting attraction that had irrepressibly drawn them to each other.

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**A/N**

_Hey everyone!! I'm back from my week-end!! :-) actually I was there yesterday and ... the truth is I published a new story (only the first 2 chapters for now) but if you want to check it, I'd be very pleased if you'd join me there too..._

_have a nice day! ~ maya_

_ps: je vois tout à fait l'allusion à Joey le réceptionniste de E.R!... (j'étais fan de cette série... moins maintenant mais bon...) donc tout ça pour dire que OUI! pas de panique: Warren n'est là que pour servir de vecteur à certains moments de l'intrigue... quant aux intéractions entre House et Cuddy, il y en aura.... pleins, pleins (verticales et horizontales... lol) mais aussi bcp de "prises de tête" ben oui... pour moi, ça n'serait pas vraiment Huddy si tout était rose au pays des Barbapapa!! hahahaha_

_YES!!! DON'T WORRY... House and Cuddy HAVE TO be together.... and I won't torture you... not too long...... I hope............. :-)_

_**THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND REVIEWS!**......._


	20. Chapter 20

_NEW CHAPTER!! where you'll find out that the sea on which the "Huddy's ship" is sailing is not a mill pond ... but hold on tight to the mast sailors! keep your faith and Huddy will live through the storm!..._

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****CHAPTER 2****0**

House was not really in a peaceful diplomatic state of mind when he barged into Cuddy's office. She welcomed him with a smile that soon faded away when she saw he was followed by his whole team. She sent him an inquiring look, silently asking why he wasn't alone. He answered with a smirk and she felt a little perplexed, but mostly hurt that he hadn't found a way to make time for them, even if it wasn't just a few minutes, even if she was well aware that the purpose of it was to discuss the medical status of a patient and not some kind of a secret date at work. But at least, they could have spent a moment alone, just the two of them.

House's fellows stood in a line just behind him and it was pretty obvious that they weren't really at ease with the situation either. House took a step forward to come closer to Cuddy's desk and he stopped in front of her just to look at her. Stare would have been a more accurate term. His gaze was intense while he detailed every inch of her and felt as if a knife was stabbing his chest right through his ribs at each vivid image that hit his mind… _"Attack is the best form of defense." _This proverb had always proven useful for House, especially when he was in pain, and when the pain came from the heart. And now was the perfect illustration for it.

"Dr. Cuddy!" He suddenly exclaimed sullenly, making her slightly jump on her chair at the sound of his tone, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes." She answered in a calm and soft voice, looking at him straight in his eyes "I wanted to see _YOU_. So why did you have to bring them?" She pointed at the team with her chin without taking her eyes off of him.

"It's about my patient. My patient is their patient. They do whatever I tell them to do to treat her. They're involved. They want to know what stupid decision you came up with that will prevent them from saving a life today."

Cuddy tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes, intrigued. She sensed his anger and his need to confront her but, up to that point, she couldn't see why.

"Last time I checked your patient was still alive." She said putting her elbows on her desk and crossing her hands under her chin to cup her face with them.

"Maybe while we're having this completely unnecessary discussion she's not anymore…"

The verbal ping pong could have been endless if she'd let it go on like that without focusing on the medical decision they had to agree on together.

"You can't do a hysterectomy on your patient, considering her current status." She cut him short, getting directly to the point.

"Hah!" He smirked, "What do you know about her medical status?"

His voice was becoming louder and his tone more nervous. She tried to stay calm and to not get emotional with this. She needed to put the woman in her aside and just let the doctor speak. Otherwise she knew she would have no chance to manage to make him be reasonable for once.

"I know that performing a hysterectomy on a patient who is just recovering from a massive internal bleeding is dangerous and possibly life threatening. I can't let you do that. Treat her with antibiotics instead."

"We already gave her antibiotics. It didn't work." House shouted getting closer to the desk.

"It's because you didn't wait long enough to let them." Cuddy said straightening herself on her chair and staring intensely at him.

"If we don't remove that girl's uterus, she'll be dead before the first dose had the time to take effect."

"You can't be sure she will be."

"You can't be sure she WON'T be!"

Cuddy clenched her jaws and set her lips, allowing her to take a short pause to think. House was leaning with both hands on his cane's handle and by the way he was standing, with his injured leg barely touching the floor, she could tell he was in pain. He had his head tilted on the side and he was scrutinizing her, but she couldn't know what he was thinking. His gaze was undecipherable. There was nothing but anger behind his eyes and she felt really puzzled. Why would he act like that? She glanced behind him and saw the team, waiting docilely in line, eyes staring at their shoes and hands crossed behind their back. There was absolutely no point in them being here. She and House could have perfectly well had this conversation without them in the room. So why did he have to bring them? What was his point? She took a deep breath and unwillingly wished for this awkward situation to end as quickly as possible.

"Start her on Metronidazole. It's a stronger ATB and…" She began.

"I know what Metronidazole is!" He cut her snappishly, "It could be toxic. It has risky side effects."

"You're telling me an antibiotic which could cure her infection is risky because it has side effects, but removing her uterus is fine?!

She was beginning to get upset herself with this silly discussion. This was not even a real discussion anyway, because the only thing that seemed to interest House was to contradict her, whatever she might say.

"House, she's 21 years old." She tried to explain calmly to him, almost unconsciously begging him to stop this escalating power play he was forcing her into. "If we proceed with the hysterectomy, she will never be able to have children again. Don't you think we should at least wait 24 hours before considering this radical solution?"

House leaned forward to look at her right in the eyes with his piercing blue eyes.

"Who cares if she can't have babies anymore?" He shouted hysterically. "She doesn't give a damn about babies. And it may be too late anyway. She had too many abortions already and she probably will never be able to get pregnant again."

"Well you don't know that!" Cuddy stubbornly insisted, not resigning herself to give up on this particular field, "And she's young. Babies might not be her priority right now, but later…"

"You're not serious, are you?" House sniggered, shaking his head, "God! I'm telling you she is gonna DIE if we don't do the surgery. Wishing everything is going to be fine just because there's a remote possibility she could suddenly want a baby some day in 20 years isn't enough good a reason to risk killing her now!"

"I'm not wishing," She contradicted him, "I'm just considering every option in the best interest of the patient..."

"No! You're just blinded by your own desire of having a child. You think with your heart, when you should be thinking with your brain. But for that, it'd mean you still have one that is medically useful!"

Cuddy set her lips in bitterness.

"This has nothing to do with me or the fact that I wanted to adopt a child!" She protested, emotionally shaken up by his snarky attack.

"Hah!" House exclaimed, "You see? You're admitting you don't need a uterus to have a child. Why don't you just go and see our patient to spread that good news? But of course, don't tell her about YOUR story, 'cause you better make it sound hopeful, if you want her to sign the form..."

Cuddy gaped at him in astonishment. He was mean. And yet, he would never say something out of sheer spite just to hurt her. He'd have to have a reason. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him with sadness in her eyes. But the look he sent her back was saying nothing else than his words already told her. He resented her. But why? In this very moment, Cuddy felt the need to be alone with him to have a chance to understand what was really lying under this uncalled-for snappishness. But his lackeys were all there, uneasily standing in a row, doing nothing, except being undesired witnesses of something that seemed more and more inevitable, even if Cuddy desperately wished to avoid it.

She needed to come close to him. She knew that if she did, she would have been able to tell if he was sincere or if this little act was just a masquerade. If they would have been alone in that room, she'd have stood up and come near him and she would have waited just an inch far from his face to be sure that his spitefulness was serious and that he indeed didn't want her close to him. First she needed to know. Understand would come after that but she was so puzzled in that moment, while she wanted him to be soft and gentle like he'd proven to her he could be. She was missing his tender side

His reaction was so unexpected. She had more or less guessed this first opposition between them on the medical field would be weird and that he wouldn't just let go easily. He was House and she'd expected nothing less from him than a fierce resistance to her decision but she thought he would be reasonable and that it would end with an agreement between them: he'd give the patient a stronger antibiotic for the next 24 hours and if things weren't getting better then he could do the surgery. But instead of that he was stubbornly standing up to her, not even with real good medical reasons to convince her, only a solid will to mess things up and say nasty things to her for no reason… or maybe just to hurt her? But why would he want to hurt her? She glanced at House's team, who were still trying hard to pretend not to be here and stood embarrassed, looking down. She caught Foreman's gaze and although she was well aware that what she was about to do would sound utterly awkward and unusual and weird, she needed to do it if she wanted to get her answers.

"Will you excuse us, please," She said in a much determined voice, "Dr. House and I need to finish this conversation alone."

In a sudden movement that could have almost felt like the energy of relief, the all team started to turn around to leave the room. House stared at Cuddy and she caught a fleeting glimpse of surprise in his eyes; but he soon regained composure and promptly held his hand up in the air to gesture to his team to stand still.

"No one is going anywhere!" He sturdily opposed.

The ducklings docilely returned where they were standing the second before.

"Why are they here anyway?" Cuddy sighed, tired and confused.

"They're here because I knew you wouldn't listen to me." He lied, "They're here to tell you exactly the same thing as I did so that you'll have to face them and repeat what you've said, see if this time you're still stubbornly standing up for your stupid medical decision or if there's a slight chance you're only doing this because it's me."

Cuddy widened her eyes in bafflement, and then she tipped her head down and rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand as if she wanted to remove this feeling of incredulousness out of her mind, or wake her up from a nightmare. When she raised her head again, she opened her mouth to say something but House who was waiting for the most perfectly annoying time, interrupted her before she could say a word.

"Kutner!" He exclaimed walking towards his team, "Explain to Dr. Cuddy why you think our patient should have a dangerous surgery that could save her life instead of a safe treatment that could kill her."

Kutner rolled his eyes to House and raised his eyebrows in surprise to indicate he clearly didn't know what to say.

"C'mon Kutner, don't be shy." House said, encouraging him with a nod, "She seems impressive from this side of the room, but believe me…"

"HOUSE!" Cuddy suddenly cried out, really worn out and stoutly resolute to put an end to this.

House turned to face her. He clenched his jaws and narrowed his eyes, staring at her even more intensely than he had done during the whole conversation; as if he knew this was the last straight line and that what she was about to say would definitely set the tone of this moment.

"You're NOT doing the hysterectomy. I want you to monitor the patient closely for the post bleeding and start her on Metronidazole for at least the next 24 hours."

"So you're saying that we should let her die?"

"No. I'm saying that we should try to save her by any other means."

"This is stupid. You're making the wrong decision."

Cuddy stared intensely at him and imperceptibly bit her upper lip, looking sadder than she was angry, feeling more puzzled than she was upset. She took a deep breath to have the courage of saying what she had to say in order to end this escalating and painful discussion.

"I'm your boss. I have veto power over your medical decisions."

House closed his eyes for a second as if she had slapped him in the face. This was the exact phrase he had said to her on the day he had come to her house, when she'd asked him why he needed her. Hearing her using his confession in this particular context crushed him even more than the whole conversation already had. He opened his eyes and sighed bitterly. Maybe it was just her way of getting even with him. He knew she would have. He had been mean to her and he understood she had to do this. But somehow, he had thought things could be different, while he should have known that they actually never changed. They were just destined to be irretrievably the same. He looked at her and smiled ironically to hide the deep hurt he was feeling.

"Are we done?" He asked, highlighting the double-meaning of the question with the intensity of the gaze he sent her.

Cuddy immediately caught that look in his eyes and her breath speeded up. She saw the team standing in front of her office's door, but it felt like she was alone in the room with him. He was there, standing in front of her and their eyes locked. They kept on staring at each other silently, but at some point, it began too painful for her to sustain his gaze. There were so many unspoken questions behind his eyes. But she was trapped. She couldn't shout what she wanted to shout because they were both in her office and it was supposed to be about a medical case, over which they just had a fight. And she had made her decision clear. She had to stick with the context, not fall into the trap.

"Yes, we're done." She answered, feeling a pang of emotion hitting her in the chest.

For a fleeting second, she caught the sadness in his eyes and then House took a deep breath and turned around towards his team.

"Ok! So you heard the boss correctly, right? And she said: no hysterectomy for today!" He promptly turned again to face her again and then he added to his team, but looking at her straight in her eyes, "But who knows, maybe tomorrow, thanks to her, we'll get to do an autopsy instead!"

Cuddy stomached the last barb with a stoic smile. House's fellows started to leave the room one by one, not daring to even glance in her direction. When the last one had walked out of her office, House who was about to do the same thing stopped at the doorstep, his hand on the knob. He turned around and sent her a last long angry and hurt filled stare.

"Dr. Cuddy."

She stared back at him, her eyes filled with sadness and bafflement.

"Dr. House." She barely managed to articulate.

And then she watched him as he left her office with an accentuated limp.

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**A/N**

_I hope you're still enjoying the ride......._

_have a nice day ~ maya_


	21. Chapter 21

_NEW CHAPTER! Where you'll find out about the note....... and where and how it'll probably go...._

_I hope you're still enjoying the story!_

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**CHAPTER 2****1**

The day had gone by. Cuddy had driven into work to forget about this awful and incomprehensible event. She was incapable of understanding what had happened. She wasn't even quite sure she had got it all right. She hadn't seen House again but she knew he had done what she'd told him to. She had spent most of her afternoon out of her office, passing from one service to another, getting updates on the patients, collecting the doctors' grievances for their own specialty. In the evening, she was pretty exhausted and she ended up in the E.R where an unusual quietness was filling the air. There weren't a lot of patients waiting to be treated and the night team had just arrived to take their shift. She spotted Cameron standing at the desk and sorting the files of the day. Cuddy came close to her. When she saw her, Cameron greeted her with a smile.

"So?" She asked, "How's House's patient?"

Cuddy timidly smiled back and imperceptibly raised her eyebrows, controlling her surprise. Why would Cameron assume that she wanted to talk about House? Maybe because actually, she did. It was stronger than her and she couldn't help it. He was haunting her thoughts and she just needed to picture him or hear his name in a conversation, share a comment about him. But, Cuddy was proud and she pretended to not care.

"She's lucky she's still alive. She seems stable right now. But we have to wait to be sure."

"Chase told me the surgery was cancelled."

Cuddy smiled ironically. She'd forgotten how fast the news travelled in this place. Suddenly she felt panicked. What if she had made the wrong decision? What if she were the stubborn one and just couldn't see House's true logical arguments correctly? What if she were wrong to persist in wanting to give the patient antibiotics when maybe the right and reasonable solution would have been to do the surgery? She looked at Cameron with all her uncertainty reflecting in her eyes.

"Do you think House's patient needed the hysterectomy after all?"

Cameron looked at her a little puzzled, intrigued by her question but above all by the fact that she was just raising it as a questionable point. She narrowed her eyes and studied her. She looked confused and tired and genuinely worried but not really by the medical case. She thought about the conversation Foreman, Chase and her had in the cafeteria during lunch time. If there were any slight remaining doubt about that, she clearly had her answer right in front of her.

"House is a jerk." She answered gently, giving her what she probably wanted or even needed to hear, "He'll do anything to be right and have the last word. But you made the right call. The antibiotics were the safest choice in her condition. It was the right decision to make."

Cuddy smiled shyly at her and looked slightly embarrassed as she understood that Cameron had seen beyond her simple question and was not talking about the medical case, at least not only. She didn't know how to react so she just looked away not really knowing how to end the conversation and leave without making it an awkward moment of uneasiness. Cameron perceived this little fleeting feeling of doubt and it just confirmed her insight about them maybe having an affair. She looked at Cuddy and thought about how painful and hard it might be for her to have to struggle against a man she had feelings for.

"Being House's boss doesn't necessarily mean you have to fight with him all the time." Cameron simply said to her in a soft reassuring tone.

Cuddy tilted her head to the side, staring at Cameron and just wondering if it actually meant what she thought it did. She sighed and not ready to open up to Cameron, although she was well aware that this little conversation was more than just a professional one, she just tried to put up a brave face.

"House is a stubborn capricious child. He never listens to anyone but himself." She answered shrugging, trying to sound as detached as she could.

Cameron smiled but remained silent. She looked at Cuddy with eyes telling her that she knew and that she understood how it felt. She looked at Cuddy with eyes that said she'd had doubts herself and she'd had hopes too. She finally looked at her with eyes saying that she was happy now, and she wished Cuddy to be happy too.

Cuddy nodded and smiled back. There was just a simple question lying under her sad light blue eyes. Was it worth it?

Not a single word pronounced but everything almost said in that intense exchange of gazes between the two women. Cameron took another pile of files and Cuddy straightened herself up on her feet.

"Well um... Good evening then." She said a little embarrassed, before she started to walk away.

"Good evening." Cameron answered.

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_Evening already_, Cuddy thought while she was going back to her office, sighing and feeling powerless and weak. She was overwhelmed and all she needed was to allow herself to take a moment alone and forget about the tension of the last hours. She passed in front of Warren desk and greeted him silently with a nod. Then she locked herself in her office and walked to her desk, where she sat, soon cradling her head in her hands, closing her eyes and breathing slowly. The day had flown by and it was all so intensely emotional. There were so many mixed feelings in each hour of it. She opened her eyes and stared blankly in front of her, but in the emptiness of her office all she could see was this spot, on the other side of her desk, where House had stood a few hours ago. She still pictured his silhouette when he had said those hurtful words to her. How could he be so spiteful and yet so gentle sometimes? She had always known he was not just what he seemed to be with the first impression. There was so much more to him than just the grumpiness, the cantankerousness or the malice. He was so much more than just a bitter man, completely closed up.

Of course, in these past two days, in the intimate moments they had shared, she had discovered another hidden part of his softer side that was even more crushing and delightful than she had hoped it'd be. But that was not all there was to discover. That was not the reason why she had felt drawn to him for so long. House was a mysterious land where every kind of danger could occur at each corner of the road, but the only land where you could find those delicious intoxicating fruits, which were growing on trees that existed in no other place of any other land. In so many ways, he was still an uncharted territory and she wanted to be the crusader that would conquer it. She knew this wouldn't be an easy battle to win, but he had made her feel like she could try. He had let her believe she could be that person.

By the way he had looked at her and made her feel beautiful and desired. By the way he had held her in his arms and made her feel protected. By the way he had allowed her to see his pain. By the way he had allowed himself to show her his sadness. She had believed it was possible. And she so wanted to see this man today. But instead he had yelled and snapped at her and he had been controversial just as if he wanted to feed the conflict and create new occasions of being mean to her and only express the dark side of himself.

Wherever this could be coming from, she knew something disturbing and annoying had hurt him because she knew House enough to recognize when he was fighting his demons. But this time, as incomprehensible as it seemed, she had had the disconcerting sensation that she was the catalyst and she had felt helpless. "_Are we done?_" he had asked her, when he perfectly well knew she could answer nothing other than a yes. He was the one who had set this so inadequate context, bringing his team in and for what? Nothing! Except than create more awkwardness and unsettling feelings, making it impossible for them to have a decent quiet conversation and show they were capable of handling this like adults. But this must have been a provocation, because he couldn't mean what it implied for real. And yet, she had caught this glimpse in the corner of his gaze: sadness, resignation, disappointment.

And she had felt so angry at herself, not being able to oppose a strong no to his question; while he had to be sure she didn't want this to end. She wanted him to have that strong certainty! She didn't want him to doubt. In that very moment, when she had resigned herself to put an end to their conversation by saying they indeed were done, she wanted to scream _NO_ from the top of her lungs. She wanted to yell and get up and run to him. She could have slapped him in the face, kissed him, anything to set off a reaction and not have to face this awful silent stare instead. She relived this hurtful moment and another pang of emotions hit her in the chest. She shrank to put up with the pain and her elbow hit a file on the corner of her desk. The file slowly slid from the top of the pile down to the edge of the desk, starting out a chain reaction, and before she could prevent the disaster from happening, the whole pile fell on the floor in a heavy sound.

She looked down at the amount of papers that had spread all over the carpet and all this mess in front of her eyes suddenly made her even more painfully aware of how helpless she was in this whole situation; that's when, just stating this as a fact, it finally opened the floodgates and she started to cry the tears she had tried to hold back all day.

She cried almost silently, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. After a few minutes, while she gave in to the irrepressible and easing sensation, she wiped her tears away with her fingertips, still feeling sad but relieved. Then she took long and deep breaths to calm down and kneeled down to gather the papers that were lying on the floor. Faxes, order flowcharts, last month activity tables, meetings reports… she methodically classified them all, until she collected a sheet among the others that strangely seemed to belong in none of the categories she had listed.

The sheet was blank and attached to it by a paper clip there was a smaller one, folded in two. Something was drawn on the folded piece of paper. She took the paper clip off and held the sheet in front of her eyes. Her heart started to accelerate when she saw the drawing represented a house, childishly framed but however perfectly identifiable. She helped herself to stand up, grabbing the edge of her desk with her hand to pull her up. With her hands slightly trembling, she unfolded the sheet of paper and when she recognized the handwriting and read what was written on the paper, her heart almost skipped a beat.

_**MY HOUSE, TONIGHT?**_

She looked at her desk in bewilderment. Where was the paper lying? She hadn't seen it and yet it must have been somewhere… but it was not important, the most important thing was that he had come back, after the fight, to write her this note. Three words, simple straight to the point, no long speech, no excuse either… typical House. She smiled and felt suddenly so light she could have flown there immediately. But instead she try to put up a good front and she walked with her determined pace towards Warren's desk just outside her office.

"Warren?" She asked, wanting to be absolutely sure ,"Could you tell me please when Dr. House came to my office?"

Warren opened his eyes widely, completely taken aback by her question. In times like this, when she approached him to ask about something he thought she already knew he could never tell if she was serious or if maybe she was testing him.

"Uh…" He started cautiously, swallowing, "Dr. House was there this morning with the other doctors, because…uh…you asked him to come."

Cuddy looked at Warren and slightly shook her head in bafflement. Maybe the best thing to do was to not pay attention.

"Yes Warren, thank you! I remember tha!t" she answered with a smirk, "I'm asking you if he came this afternoon, while I was not in my office."

"Uh… I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy but Dr. House didn't come in your office while you were absent, not this afternoon."

"What do you mean _not this afternoon_?" Cuddy immediately questioned her suspicion aroused by Warren's little slip of the tongue.

Warren lowered his head in embarrassment. He totally had forgotten to mention House's visit the day before, and to be honest he had even almost done it on purpose because he wasn't really proud of himself and not ready to admit he had been completely fooled by Dr. House who'd played him to find his way in Dr. Cuddy's office. And of course, he hadn't told her that he couldn't do anything to prevent him from entering alone in it, and locked himself inside either. Now she probably had discovered he had nosed around her personal stuff and she was mad at House, but as he wasn't here, she'd soon be mad at him. So he might as well tell her the truth.

"Dr. House was not here this afternoon, but he was here yesterday. He came by in the afternoon to see you but, you were at…"

"Princeton General." Cuddy completed, more talking to herself than she was actually answering Warren, "And I didn't come back here after, I…"

She interrupted herself and the expression on her face changed as she had an epiphany about what had probably caused this huge and stupid misunderstanding.

"Warren, did you let Dr. House enter in my office while I wasn't there?" She asked hopefully wishing this could be the explanation, "I mean yesterday, did you let him?"

Warren seemed really embarrassed and anxious about his answer. She looked at him with her eyes wide opened.

"Warren, it's important." She encouraged him, in her most soft and neutral tone.

"Well… You know, I tried to stop him…" Warren started unsure.

Cuddy grinned and let out a relief sigh.

"Yes of course you did." She said with a broad reassuring smile

And she walked back in her office without waiting for Warren's explanation, leaving him dumbfounded.

She took her coat and hastily turned her computer off. She checked her watch and grabbed House's note on her desk and slid it in her pocket. No, they weren't done. Nothing would be over until she would have heard him say it was, eye to eye, with no one else but the two of them in the room. Because it couldn't be the end. Not now, not like this! They had lived nothing, shared so little. She wanted to have more memories with him, more of his skin against hers, more of his mischievous eyes on her.

And unless he refused to open his door to her, she was firmly resolute to make him understand that.

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* * *

**A/N**

_Hi everyone! I hope you're doing GREAT!_

_I'm in an awfully good mood, which is kinda suspicious and odd since tomorrow I'm going back to work..... ouch!!! that'll hurt... well that's totally irrelevant I know, but I just needed to say it...._

_anyway! **THANK YOU** for all your reviews and the compliments about my English! God, you can't imagine how big a kick that is!!_

_carpe diem ~ maya_

_ps: sorry for House's snarky attack about the baby's adoption thing in the previous chapter, I know it was a foreseeable one... but, it was pure mean fun!! LOL ... :-)_


	22. Chapter 22

_NEW CHAPTER! where we find out that Cuddy is stubborn, determined and compelling and that it may be a good thing, or.......... not? :-)_

****

* * *

**~~ CHAPTER 22 ~~**

Cuddy was impatient to see him. She didn't know yet what she would tell him but she knew she would find a way to make him listen to her. She had to and she wouldn't give up anyway as long as there would be a chance left. After having driven from the hospital straight to his place, she was now standing at his apartment's door, a little nervous and tense, not knowing how he would welcome her but prepared for whichever struggle she'd have to put up with. She knocked as energetically as her urge to finally talk to him was strong. The sound echoed in the hallway and she waited closing her eyes to focus on the first thing she would say when he would finally open the door. When he did, most abruptly, it made her gape in surprise, her breath accelerating and her heart pounding in her chest when she saw him in front of her. Their eyes met and he clenched his jaws. She noticed he was pale and looked tired and in pain. He smirked, his hand sturdily gripping the door frame.

"We made a mistake." She said looking at him, fearing he could slam the door shut in her face.

"What? Patient's dead already?" He retorted, glaring at her.

"No, actually, she's feeling better." She answered without missing a beat.

"Then why are you here?" He barked.

She took a deep breath and gently smiled at him.

"I'm here, because _WE_ made a mistake." She repeated in a soft voice.

"Yeah, I think I already got that." He snapped, looking away, "You didn't need to come all the way here in person to explain."

He took a step back and started to shut the door in her face, but she blocked it with her palm and stared angrily at him.

"Yes I did!" She fiercely exclaimed, her hand pushing the door back opened, "Because you got it all wrong!"

House slightly released his grab on the door and studied her face, tilting his head on the side and peering at her, intensely trying to decipher the reasons why she had come here. She sustained his gaze for a long moment her chin up and her lips set but the tension was too heavy and she looked down, overcome by the intensity she perceived behind his piercing blue gaze. Then she raised her face to him again and with one longing stare, she silently implored him to let her in and listen to her. He puffed one heavy breath out and resignedly slid his hand along the door frame to give her a small way in. She sighed in relief and walked inside. House closed the door and joined her in the living room. He stood in front of her and conspicuously looked at his watch.

"Sorry I don't have much time." He announced, sounding perfectly casual as he always managed to do whenever he felt the need to hide how utterly disconcerted he was, "There's a hooker coming here in less than thirty minutes."

She bit her lips and closed her eyes to mentally cheer herself up. Then she took a deep breath and looked at him straight in the eyes.

"You're lying." She simply stated.

He widened his eyes in astonishment and smiled ironically.

"Oh ok, you got me! It's not _one_ hooker, it's…"

"House." She interrupted him in a low whisper, taking a step towards him and lifting her face up to meet his gaze, "You don't need to do this."

He gulped, visibly uneasy to feel her invading his space and unable to ignore her body so close to him. He feigned to be offended and took a step back.

"Wh…" He gasped, trying to smile convincingly, "Do what? I'm sorry if I don't have time for you but…"

"This isn't over yet." She said, taking a step forward again, filling the small gap between them.

When she approached him, so close she could have touched him without stretching her arm, he slightly stumbled but he immediately placed another hand on his cane handle to steady him and she saw him stiffening defensively.

"What are you talking about?" He dared to ask hoarsely, looking a little angry at her.

"Our conversation…" She took a deep breath and waited until she caught his eyes to add, "Us…" studying his reaction. House clenched his jaws and looked away, his whole expression becoming sullen, while he stubbornly kept avoiding her gaze. "God!" she exclaimed, "Don't turn away from me! Why is it so hard for you to look at me right now?"

He faced her again and planted his gaze in hers, as if he was running to win the staring contest, as if he was saying "_Ok! Now I'm looking at you… and so what?_" The power of his gaze on her was so intense it made her lower hers.

"I'm not the one who turned away first." He said, almost with fatalism, his voice betraying the train of emotions he was trying to repress.

Lisa Cuddy kept silent, her head tipped down, almost leaning against his chest. Suddenly, he felt her hand timidly reaching out for his, grabbing his fingertips. The sensation of her touch made him feel an emotional wrench and he closed his eyes, strongly biting his lips to hold back the urge of enfolding her in his arms.

"I'm sorry it didn't work." He whispered in one painful breath, and he pulled his hand away from hers.

Barely perceptible, House heard a slight sob, and quite immediately after she raised her face toward him, and he saw a tear rolling down her cheek.

"Why do you need to fight this so hard?" She asked him, bemused. "Why are you pushing me away?"

"I don't know." He replied throatily. "I… I…" His voice choked and he gasped for air. "I don't want to hurt you" He finished in a blow.

"You're hurting me now!" She said, her eyes filling with tears.

"Why?" He asked, trying to rationalize nonsense, looking at her intrigued and searching for a reason that would make sense for him in his own world ruled by deduction and logic.,"You said it wasn't a big deal."

She widened her eyes in astonishment and forcefully wiped a tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand.

"Is that what you think? That's why you're so mad at me? Because you think I don't care?"

"You said you didn't!"

"I did not!" She protested, "This is ridiculous. You only heard what you wanted to hear. Because you're afraid. You're afraid it might work and you've convinced yourself this is already a disaster because then you don't have to face the frightening feeling of being involved."

House stared at her and tried to put up a brave face, but her speech deeply shattered him. Yes, he was afraid, but not of being involved. He already was; otherwise he wouldn't have given a damn about what she thought of him and he wouldn't be here torturing himself wondering if there was still a slight chance that he hadn't spoiled it all. If he didn't care about her, he wouldn't have let her in. He wouldn't have felt what he was feeling in this very moment, looking at her and her watery eyes, compellingly wanting to console her and take her in his arms. But he however mentally kicked himself to divert his thoughts away from this dangerous path. He couldn't yield to this need. It was too painful and as hurtful has the idea of losing her could be, he'd rather preferred it to be now than wait for the moment when it would be excruciatingly intolerable. He took a step back and walked to the couch where he sat down, rubbing his thigh mechanically.

"Sorry. My leg hurts." He said, but this retreating move was mostly a strategy to deflect and allow him to create a safe distance between them.

Cuddy looked at him concerned. Unconsciously she took her coat off, walked past the coffee table and sat next to him, putting the coat on the armrest behind her. She reached out her hand to his face. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, out of a genuine care, speaking more as the doctor than as the woman. However, when he saw her hand coming closer, he leaned back to avoid her touch and stared at her silently ordering her not to do that. She sighed but she complied and held her hand back.

"House, you know you want this too." She said in a low voice, looking at him straight in the eyes.

"No." He denied obstinately

"Why?"

"This will never work."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because you're my boss."

"So what?"

"It's impossible to work and be together at the same time. We'll kill each other before the end of the week."

"You don't know that."

"We fight all the time."

"We don't fight. We have medically challenging arguments." Cuddy answered, smiling.

House looked at her and softened a little, smiling too.

"And what about this morning, we yelled at each other…" He asked, trying to make his point.

"No. _You_ yelled at me." She corrected him, "I just tried to convince you to take the safest route for your patient. But you created the conflict and you did it purposely."

"And why would I do that?"

Cuddy looked away for a second and tried to find the right words. She felt he had eased a little and seemed to accept to hear her out. She felt his anger was slowly fading away and that he began to accept her presence here, in his apartment but also here, sitting next to him.

"Because…" She explained, coming slightly closer, "you were hurt. Because… you resented me"

"What makes you think I resented you?"

She turned around and grabbed her coat. She rummaged in the pocket and fished out the sheet of paper she had put in. He saw it and he lowered his eyes.

"Because of that." She just said, handing him his message over.

He looked at it perfectly recognizing the paper but he didn't take it. She smiled, not surprised by his reaction.

"It's a little ironic, don't you think?" She said unfolding the piece of paper and exposing the message to his sight.

"What is?" He grumbled.

"This… _You_…" She sighed. "House, yesterday I was out when you left this note..."

"I know." He whispered.

"No you don't. You think I chose not to come on purpose and it hurt you. And I understand; but I only found your message today. I didn't came back to the hospital yesterday, I went home right after the meeting had ended"

House looked down at his feet, his hands crossed on his lap.

"I guess you're right then: this is a little ironic!" He said with a self-conscious voice.

Cuddy slithered on the couch to come nearer and she held out her hand to fondle his cheek. When her palm touched his stubble, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, rubbing his cheek inside her hand. She felt all kinds of emotions overflowing her heart: relief, joy, tenderness, yearning… but also bitterness, anger and disappointment. And she had to get rid of these last feelings.

"You're a child." She said.

As if he needed to prove her right, he looked at her with a conspicuous pout. She removed her hand from his cheek and looked seriously at him.

"You were sure I had seen the note and you immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion, assuming the worse because with you, that's always how things have to be."

He set his lips and his expression turned serious.

"Why is it so hard for you to have faith?"

"Because, _everybody lies._" He replied almost without thinking.

"Of course! How convenient!" She said with an ironic smile, "And you think that applies to me too?"

He stared at her. Lie or honesty? He could tell her what she wanted to hear or he could tell her what he believed.

"Yes. You lie. I lie. There's no exception."

"But I'm sincere now."

"_Now_?... see? You're admitting that you've lied."

She sighed, defeated but she gently smiled at him.

"This is my fault." She told him incongruously. "I put that stupid idea in your head."

"What idea?"

"That you and I weren't a big deal."

"And is it?"

"I don't know... Is it?" She repeated.

* * *

**A/N**

_SO??? uhmmmm..... big question? challenging.... BUT! is it the right tipe to ask? will they be able to tell?... __answers in the following chapter, which I'll post it asap!_

_until then, HAVE A NICE DAY! ~ maya_

_and of course THANK YOU so much for the nice and faithful reviews... _


	23. Chapter 23

_NEW CHAPTER! and its philosophy says: "this is a man's world, this is a man's world... but it wouldn't be nothing, nothing! without a woman or a girl"  
Duh!! so true!! ... :-D _

_So...ready for more clarification?... hah_

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**~~ CHAPTER 23 ~~**

They locked eyes and stared intensely at each other, both waiting for the other one to answer the question. But they both kept silent instead, not ready yet to phrase it out loud or even to acknowledge to themselves what they would answer if they'd both stop pretending. This was a frightening impression, as much for him as it was for her. There still were a lot of feelings that they kept hidden just for themselves not yet prepared to share all of them, and the storm it had set off. There still were a lot of things they had to say to each other, a lot of confessions to make. But however big the effort they would make to deny it could be, from now on at least, they knew perfectly that they wouldn't be able to feign they didn't care anymore. Not after they had struggled to earn a little bit of trust from the other, not after they had chased each other and silently proven how much they needed to be together. Maybe, they were not ready to admit it, but the fact was that despite their resistance, they had struggled forcefully to start a relationship, and they already had shown each other how much they wanted it to work.

Cuddy cleared her throat to break the silence. House looked at her intrigued and she smiled stretching out her arm and touching his hand with hers. She tangled her fingers with his.

"You have a lot to do to make it up to me, you know." She said, gently tickling his fingers with her nails.

He let out a quiet laugh and came closer.

"Really?" He inquired, "And where do I start?"

House moved his hand up and cupped her cheek with his palm. She covered it with her hand and delicately seized it to slide it to her mouth. She kissed his palm and brushed his skin with her lips in the hollow of his wrist.

"I'm hungry." She whispered, blowing a warm breath into his sleeve and rubbing her nose against his skin.

"Yeah, me too." He replied with a lecherous smile.

"No I mean, really hungry…" She laughed, "I drove here directly from the hospital…"

She made a sorry pout and he smiled tenderly at her. Then quite immediately after, he got up and he looked at her with a bothered face.

"I'm warning you, I might have nothing decent to offer you."

"That's fine. Anything with no meat inside…"

"Yeah, that's totally what I meant by 'nothing decent' but if it's fine with you."

He shook his head with an exaggerated bewildered look on his face and started to walk towards the kitchen. She watched him leave with a smile and relaxed, plopping down the couch and breathing out heavy sighs of relief. She was there, and he hadn't thrown her out. That was definitely a good start.

Coming from the kitchen, she heard some noises of him probably rummaging in his cupboards and she smiled.

"Do you need some help?" She offered stretching her neck in the kitchen's direction

"NO!" He cried out, "Stay right where you are!"

And a second later, she saw him coming out of the kitchen carrying a tray. He walked towards her and put it on the coffee table. She straightened up on the couch, and leaned forward to see what he had brought. She couldn't repress a smile when she saw what was on the tray.

"That's it?" She teased, "An apple and some cookies?"

She regretted she had said that the second it came out of her mouth but it was too late.

"Sorry I didn't cook you dinner. I wasn't expecting your visit tonight!" He replied, sounding a little hurt.

Then she saw the two glasses and the bottle and she felt terrible.

"What's that?" she asked shyly in a low voice.

"It's wine."

"_White_ wine." She specified carefully.

"Yeah. White wine." He answered in a whisper.

"I thought that was a typical female drink."

She looked at him and he instantly turned his head away; but not before she could catch his eyes and what she saw lying under his gaze really distressed her. She understood he had bought the bottle of wine especially for her and although there was nothing that she could do to change that, and the fact that it wasn't even her fault, she felt sad she hadn't seen the note on time to be there with him the night before.

"House, I'm sorry." She said, gently touching his arm.

He turned to face her and there was confusion in the depth of his eyes.

"Why do you want me?" He asked her, out of the blue.

"What?"

"Why do you keep chasing me? Why _me_?"

She opened her eyes wide and gaped in surprise, taken aback by his query. She hadn't really asked herself the question in those terms. Why would she have? She wanted to be with him and no one else. It was him and that was all. She didn't feel the need to wonder why. It felt more like evidence and evidences never needed explanations to exist as powerfully as they did. This was something she couldn't fight. Or maybe, this was something she didn't _want_ to fight.

"Do I really need to have a reason for this?" She said.

"Yes." He insisted stubbornly.

She bit her bottom lip and looked at him straight in the eyes. Not knowing how to say it didn't mean she wasn't able to feel there was an indisputable connection between them. And she knew he felt it too.

"Well… we are great together..."

"You mean we have great sex?"

She stared at him perplexed. And an awkward silence settled between them.

"Answer me!" He exclaimed impatiently.

"YES!" She almost shouted, carried away by the growing tension. "Is that a bad thing? Should I be ashamed? Come on House, you of all the men can't play the shocked card with me here. And you know that's not the only reason."

"Then why are you attracted to me?" He insisted.

"You're a brilliant doctor."

"I'm always arguing with you. I'm a pain in the ass."

"You're challenging." She corrected.

"I'm a jerk."

"You are. But not all the time."

"I made you cry." He stated in a hoarse sorry voice, looking down at his feet.

"You didn't mean to, did you?"

She came close to him and she delicately touched his thigh and slid her hand under his. Without lifting the eyes, he seized her hand and squeezed it in his.

"I'll hurt you. I'm everything except the right guy for you"

"What do you know about what is or isn't right for me?"

"Because I know what you want!" He said in a low hoarse voice, raising his face to her.

In his deep blue eyes, she could see how terrified and lost he seemed to be.

"And what do I want?" She asked him in a soft tone.

"You're a control freak. You want things to be exactly the way you've decided they should be."

"Why should it be a problem?"

"Because you can't be happy like that! Because things will not always be like you want them to! **_I_** will not always be like you want me to. … I can't."

"I know. I don't expect you to."

"Yes you do. Because you don't see me, you see the man you'd like me to be."

"House that's not true." She contradicted him, feeling hurt. "I'm not stupid. I know you're not flawless. I can deal with that."

"No you can't. And you won't."

"That's not your call to decide…"

"I know you blame me for today…" He whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"I confronted you. I stood up to you."

"House, I'm your boss. I will always be the person you'll confront."

"And are you telling me you like that?"

"I don't like or dislike that. That's my job, that's all."

"See? You think arguing with me is a job…"

"House, you'd always want to cross the lines. You can't do things in the standard usual way. You need to create conflict. It helps you solve the puzzle. Someone needs to be here to fix the limits."

"That's too much screwed up. It can't work."

"Don't use that argument against me. Maybe the problem isn't that you're afraid of hurting me. Maybe the problem is you're afraid I might hurt you. Maybe you're not comfortable with me being your boss. But I'm here to enforce the rules. And you're no exception, like it or not."

"And there we go! You're playing bossy again! Man, do you like that!"

She stared at him in shock.

"This is so unfair! _You_ question your ability of handling me as your boss if we should try to start something together and you're saying this is my fault?"

She withdrew her hand from his and straightened up on the couch.

"You have no right to decide for both of us if it can or cannot work." She continued, "Being your boss is what I have to do. I don't get excited or thrilled by our little arguments, you know…"

"Yeah sure." He muttered.

"There has to be someone who can keep an eye on you and remind you about the rules whenever you think you need to do completely insane and dangerous things to solve a case. Because you can't help yourself but think you're always right."

"I'm always right." He interrupted her, flashing her a smile

"No House, not always you're not. There're reasons why I'm doing this. And you know it. You deflect and you argue but you know there has to be someone who can actually bring your twisted mind back to reality when it's needed. I know you don't like that, and I know that's why you fight me and annoy me and protest but you know I'm right."

"Who said I'm the one always thinking he's right?" He teased her.

"You're making a joke out of this. But this is not." She said sounding disappointed, "You're deflecting but it's only to prevent you from facing what the real problem is."

"Really?"

"'Cause you're not afraid we might fail. You're afraid we might not. Despite me being your boss and you being the pain in the ass doctor. Because there's a chance it could work and it scares the hell outta you." She said raising her chin to him.

He felt baffled by her insight and he tried to hide his uneasiness with an extravagant reaction as he always did whenever someone managed to peel off his shell a little.

"Wow! I think you've just proven my point!"

"What point?"

"That you're really sexy and exciting when you're angry. God! Best foreplay ever!"

"House!" She gaped in bewilderment and slapped him on the shoulder. But she softened and smiled gently at him. "I can understand that you're frightened about that. I am too you know" She said, lowering her eyes, her voice becoming a hesitant whisper, "but it's not because we had an argument earlier today that I don't want to be with you right now. And I know I'm not afraid of this. Because being with you and being your boss can be two different things. We are perfectly capable of handling this like adults, House. But you need to give it a try."

"I don't know." He said with a throaty voice. "Maybe I am… willing……… to give it a try."

And he stared intensely at her, silently sealing a deal with her. She stared back, fully aware that they had taken a step forward; and maybe, it was just a small one but for them, it was huge. They had decided to be together, in a way they weren't yet ready to call a relationship but something which however really looked like one.

"So are we gonna kiss now?" She simpered, with a mischievous gaze.

"Is that an order?" He teased.

"Don't be ridiculous!" She answered smiling at his innuendo.

All of a sudden, he got up and she slightly jumped, short of breath and bewildered by his reaction. But he stood in front of her and held his hand out for her.

"Come!" He simply said.

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**A/N**

_THANKS A MILLION TIMES TO THE AMAZING PEOPLE THAT LEAVE ME SUCH WONDERFULLY KIND REVIEWS about my writing, my style, my storyline, my English... and even the lack of reviews!! LOL..._ **THANK YOU**_!!_

_and now, nobody's allowed to die until the next chapter cuz' there, this is NOT about angst anymore, right... I mean... tssk, tssk... don't you know where this is going? ... ;-)_

_so stay tuned!_

_and a GREAT day, morning, afternoon, night or whatever to YOU!! ~ maya_

**[EDIT 09.06.09] it seems like there's a problem with uploading documents currently, or maybe this is just me, BUT the result is I CAN'T PUBLISH CHAPTER 24, because I can't upload it !!!**

**SORRY FOR THAT, I'll try to find a solution and I PROMISE I'll update ASAP..... **


	24. Chapter 24

_NEW CHAPTER! hehe... where you'll find out who's the boss in a "smexy" way... LOL... and some pillow talk... because some of you are wondering about something that indeed need to be clarified...._

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**CHAPTER 24**

She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up. She stood in front of him just an inch away and they locked eyes for a long moment as they kept staring at each other in silence. Then, her hand still in his, he took her down the hallway, towards his bedroom.

When they were both standing in front of the bed he cupped her face with both his hands. Gently, slowly, he leaned down to her lips and caressed them with his. She opened her mouth for him and he delved inside, thrusting his tongue between her teeth and softly brushing her palate. She stood up on her tiptoes and moaned languorously inside his mouth. She grabbed his shoulders and kissed him more ardently, accelerating her tongue movement and pressing her body harder against his.

When she began to feel the lust rising inside her body, she removed her hands from his shoulder and, still kissing him, she slid them to his belly where she started to unbutton his shirt. When she had undone the first two buttons, freeing his skin above his jeans belt, she slid her hands under the fabric and made her way to his chest, rubbing her palms against his warm skin. House seized both her wrists and pulled her hands out. He stopped kissing her and made her take a step back, pushing her away from him. She looked at him puzzled and her eyes questioning in angst. But he smiled at her and let go of her wrists.

"Ohh no!" He said with an arousing voice, "You are not going to do anything. From now on, you just let me take over the reins 'cause right here, right now, I'm the boss and there's no way you can protest! So you just let me be the one in charge!"

Cuddy looked at him and beamed.

"Is this what it's all about? You wanna play 'who's the boss' with me?" She teased.

House grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into him. He leaned down to kiss her and she stretched her neck to touch his lips but with one hand firmly placed on the small of her back, he held her on the ground, preventing her from reaching out to his face. Then he leaned down to her, breathing an inch away from her lips and stared at her.

"You're so going to lose." He whispered with a broad smile and he gently, but firmly pushed her backwards on the mattress.

She fell on her back and he stood in front of her, watching her and imprinting every image of this moment in his memory. He leaned down to seize one of her calves and gently caressed it from the back of her knee down to the ankle slowly brushing her skin with his fingertips and studying her reaction. Lying on the bed, Cuddy stared back at him, faking perfect self-control, a little smile lightening her face. Not taking his eyes off of her, House took her shoe and slowly slid it along her foot to take it off. He let the shoe fall on the floor and then grabbed her other leg and did the same, slowly taking her other shoe off and fondling her calf, this time down from her ankle up to her knee, then higher on her thigh, sliding inside her leg and stroking her thin skin up to her crotch; but going down again as soon as he reached her groin. Cuddy closed her eyes and imperceptibly arched her back when his hand went down. She couldn't bear the sensation of frustrated yearning and she spontaneously grasped his hand to slide it up again on her thigh. House freed his hand and leaned down to her, taking both her hands in his, he stretched her arms and maintained them crossed above her head.

"Shhh!" He said, leaning down in her neck, blowing warm breathes in her ear. "You can't control everything. Not tonight…"

He slightly straightened up to allow him to look at her in the eyes. She was breathing fast. Her cheeks were pink and little small pearls of sweat were shining on her forehead. She opened her mouth and lifted her head to come closer to his lips to steal him a kiss but he pulled on her arms to make her stand still and stared intensely at her.

"Cuddy…," He whispered, "just let yourself go… for me."

She stared back at him as intensely as he did and she rested her head back on the bed. He slowly and gently released her hands of his grab and she kept her arms above her head, tilting her head back a little.

"Kiss me." She said in a sigh.

He cupped her face with his hands and passionately took her mouth. While their kiss became deeper and more impatient, he slid a hand under her back and lifted her curve towards him. Irrepressibly drawn to him and longing for his touch, she stretched her arms completely above her head, and her whole body went up in a sensual arch, creating a shivering wave filled with burning desire. They kissed avidly, nibbling each other's lips and entangling their tongue in a shameless abandon, washing away all their confused feelings of these last hours.

House wrapped his arms around her shoulder and made her sit up a little, just enough for him to seize her top and slid it over her head. She lied back down when he finished peeling the sleeves off her arms. She wore a silk ivory lacy bra and he couldn't help but freeze when he saw it. He placed the palms of his hands on her breasts, covering the soft silk underwire cups.

"God! I love these two!" He said with a boyishly wondrous look.

She let out a hoarse laugh and she swayed her chest to rub her breasts against his hands. He looked at her and smiled but he removed his hands from her bra and slipped his arms round her waist. He undid her skirt's zipper and slowly slid it down along her legs. He stood up again in front of her and took time to admire her. She was lying on his bed, just wearing underwear and she looked dazzling to him, from her feet to her perfect face. He stared at her body, trailing his eyes off along the way, on her long thin thighs, her beautiful curves, her flat belly and her round breasts, her delicate collarbone, and her frail neck, her chin, her lips, her eyes. He sighed heavily and still staring intensely at her, he slowly unbuttoned his shirt in front of her, one button after the other, almost stripping for her. She moaned and he got rid of his shirt then leaned down and he kissed her on the belly, tickling her navel with the tip of his tongue while he seized her panties on both sides of her hips and slipped it down.

She caressed his back with her fingernails and arched in a shivery movement of the hips when he placed his hands on her inner thigh and delicately spread her legs. Still kissing her on the belly, licking her soft skin, he searched for her slit and delved his finger between her lips. He stroked her and she moaned louder when he touched her nub. She was wet and warm under his caress and he sighed with lust against the skin of her belly. While he still caressed her, he got rid of his sneakers toeing off one shoe after the other. He promptly stood up and took off his socks next. She straightened up on her elbows and looked at him longingly.

"Come…" She moaned in a languorous sigh and she held out her hand to him.

"Wait!" He whispered and he made her lie down again.

She tilted her head on the side and she stared at him, standing bare-chested in front of her, just wearing his jeans. And she gasped voluptuously when he leaned down again and kissed her on her groin. She closed her eyes and arched for him. He kissed her again and spread her legs wider to taste her with his mouth. He opened her with his tongue and licked her clit, pressing his lips against it, giving quick tickling kisses on it, and gently nibbling the pulsating flesh. She bucked her hips and he delved a finger inside her, reaching for a spot that made her jolt, bringing her desire to an almost aching level. He loved beyond reason how her body could show him it was so undeniably longing for his touch as he continued to nibble and kiss and lick her, until he heard her moaned out of control and he felt her thighs trembling against his shoulders. He got up and the sudden interruption of his caresses made her gasp and hold her breath, waiting for the wave of pleasure to start invading her again. She opened her eyes and she saw he was undoing his belt. He took his jeans off along with his boxers in one rapid movement. He bent over and slipped his hands under her back to undo her bra, freeing her breasts. He took one in his mouth and kissed her erected nipple, fondling her other breast with his fingers, pressing it in his hand and rubbing her nipple with his thumb. She sighed and slithered backwards onto the bed to lie down completely.

He placed both of his arms stretched astride her shoulders. She grabbed his waist and pulled him to her but, although he wanted this more than anything now, he found the strength to resist a little longer and pushed back. She planted her nails in the small of his back and wrapped her thighs around his hips, silently imploring him to take her.

"Say you want me!" He moaned throatily above her.

"House!" She begged him.

"Say it!" He repeated.

"I want you." She whispered in a sigh.

"Again." He groaned in her neck, slowly bending his arms and lying down on her.

"I want you." She breathed her desire in his ear.

The tone of her voice made him shiver and he straightened up a little to lock his eyes with hers. When he caught her yearning intense blue gaze, he slowly penetrated her and she gasped a cry of lust at the feeling of his hard member inside her core. He nestled his face in her nape and kissed her behind the ear and along the neck while he began to move inside her; first with slow motions, filling her completely and staying deep inside her then moving out again and pushing in again, moving harder and faster. She bucked her hips and captured him in her warmth, arching her curves higher when he went down and wrapping him with her legs. He lifted himself up on his arms again and waited until she looked at him. He smiled at her and slipped one hand under her neck. She stroked his chest and stretched her head up to ask for a kiss. He gave a hard deep thrust inside her that made her gasp and when she did, he delved in her opened mouth, quenching his thirst on her wet lips. His movements became more and more intense, and he sensed her body beginning to quake under his. He parted from the kiss and looked at her while she wiggled and began to pant more rapidly, the orgasm taking hold of her body and pervading her. "Oh God, yes!" she cried out, tilting her head back, convulsed waves of pleasure inside his arms. Suddenly she seized his ass cheeks and forcefully pulled them down to her, trapping him in her hands and causing him to stop his movements

"Wait! Don't move." She begged out of breath.

He smiled victoriously at her and managed to slowly but surely move again inside her; first just with quick and short thrusts but she soon loosened her grab, carried away by the feeling of pleasure coming back again as he started to push himself deeper and harder again.

"You're not making the rules tonight." He teased her.

A second wave of orgasm filled her and sent delightful tickling sensations all along her body. He held her tight, grabbing her ass and lifting her up, pulling her into him. She gripped his shoulders and rested her chin on his collarbone, burying her face in his neck.

"I don't care… I don't care… I don't care." She whispered, panting in his nape.

He accelerated his movements, shoving faster and faster.

"Oh House, yes!" She moaned with her eyes closed.

The wave was now throbbing in his body, coming from the small of his back and around his waist, sending shivering itching electric shocks in his nerves and contracting his muscles. He slid one hand under her ass cheek and pushed her up against him to explode inside her within one last thrust in a heavenly feeling of bliss. He felt the pounding sensation of his semen filling her and he fell down on her. When the quaking waves of orgasm gently calmed down to leave only the peaceful awareness of joy and satisfaction, he rolled on the side and lay naked next to her. They breathed heavily looking at the ceiling for a short moment and he turned around to face her. She rolled on her side and looked at him with a broad smile.

"And now who's the boss here?" He asked her, bursting into laughter when he saw her hand rising in the air ready to whack him on the stomach.

"Ouch!" He said grinning when she slapped him with the back of her hand.

He rolled on his side to look at her and he felt stunned by her beauty. She was glowing and she didn't even seem to be aware of it. Her hair was a mess and her curls were stuck on her forehead, with sweat, but she was so perfect. Her eyes were glittering with this very specific little sparkle he loved so much about her. Her lips were red and wet and her cheeks were all pink. Suddenly he felt overwhelmed by an unfamiliar sensation of tenderness. He lifted his hand to her face and gently caressed her cheek with his fingertips.

"Cuddy…" He whispered but he stopped and stared at her with his mouth still slightly open as if he was waiting for the words to come out.

"What?" She encouraged him in a low voice, cuddling up close to him.

She looked at him in the eyes but she felt he was too much struggling against this emotion. He didn't need to be pushed and she didn't need verbal proof. Not now. She already felt fully contented and happy. She nestled her head in his chest and planted soft small kisses on his skin. He sighed in delight and wrapped her in his arms, kissing her hair and squeezing her tight against him.

"You're a plague" He sighed between her curls

She extricated her from his embrace and glided backwards on the bed to look at him. A little smile lit her face.

"And this is a good thing because…?"

"It's hard to resist you."

"Why would you want to resist me then?" She said mischievously.

"I'm not saying I want to, but maybe we need to be more careful."

"About what?"

"I mean we're completely riding bareback here…"

She straightened herself on her elbow and cupped her cheek in her hand.

"And what?" she asked him with fond eyes, "Are you afraid I might get pregnant?" She smiled and stroked him on the waist.

"That's a legitimate question."

"Don't worry," She answered, "I'm taking the pill..." She suddenly looked panicked and widened her eyes, "unless… You didn't mess with my pills, did you?"

House looked at her and chuckled. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him.

"Hah, who's frightened now?"

"That's not funny." She said, sulkily. "Did you?"

He leaned down to her face and kissed her on the nose.

"No I didn't, don't worry."

She stared at him and frowned.

"I swear!" He exclaimed, bursting into laughter.

She sighed and relaxed in his arms.

"Well then everything's fine." She said, taking a deep breath and nuzzling up against him. He enfolded her in his arms and gently kissed her.

"Yes, everything's fine." He whispered.

A quiet silence filled the room, only disturbed by the peaceful sound of them breathing in and out. Cuddy closed her eyes, enjoying this timeless moment. House worrying about her getting pregnant, that was peculiarly touching. But… at the same time, that was also mostly very improbable. House never really questioned himself about the consequences of his acts. He was impulsive, not responsible. Out of the blue, she opened her eyes and studied him quizzically. He caught her gaze and questioned her with his eyes, amused by her sudden seriousness.

"House, who put this idea into your head?" She asked him with a small knowing smile on her lips.

House quite immediately understood what she was implying and he pouted innocently at her.

"Gotta love that Wilson guy!" He exclaimed with a childish look. "He's like a mother to me. He just warned me… I mean… as a friend he just wanted…" He began to stammer, realizing he had said too much and that it could easily be taken wrong.

Cuddy looked at him and shook her head.

"Wilson is more than a mother to you. He sometimes acts like you were made out of very fragile porcelain or as if you were doomed to be miserable. I don't know, I think he's afraid that…" She stopped and bit her bottom lip and a fleeting glimpse of sadness ran through her eyes.

"I might get hurt?" House proposed to complete her sentence

"Or that I might hurt you." She whispered a little uneasily.

House took her chin in his hand and forced her to lift her face and look at him.

"Cuddy, C'mon! Don't beat yourself up about this. I know Wilson can truly be annoying sometimes with his irrepressible need to constantly meddle in my life, like he was my guardian angel or something, assigned with some kind of rescue the miserable doctor mission… but, for some reason… he likes you…" He gave her a conspicuous astonished look, as if he was saying: _Duh! Where could he get that crazy idea from?!_

Cuddy tried to hide her smile but she couldn't.

"And somehow, I think that's a good thing for you" House added repressing the giant smile that was forming on his lips "because you know, basically he'll beat up anyone who'd do me harm… so you'd better be careful!" He finished with a broad grin from ear to ear."

Cuddy melted with tenderness when she saw this smile on his face. She tapped him on the shoulder and shook her head.

"You're nuts. And Wilson is no better…" She said, chuckling.

"That's what you like about me." He said, carried away by the enthusiasm of the moment "You've been chasing me without respite because you so have the hots for me!"

He had made his last sentence almost sound like it was a question that he was asking her. He stared at her and she sustained his gaze but her expression slightly changed and he saw she felt uncomfortable in that field. Maybe he had gone too far, too fast. Cuddy was still staring at him and she smiled shyly at him. He came closer and pulled her in his arms. She took a deep breath, which he read as an almost relieved one and he held her tighter against his chest. She didn't need to be pushed and he didn't need verbal proof. Not now. He already felt fully contented and happy. After another quiet moment where they were enfolded in each other's arms, Cuddy lifted her eyes to him.

"House?" She called in a low voice.

"What?"

"How scared did you really get?"

"What are you talking about? He asked a little confused.

"With the idea of me ending up pregnant?"

He teasingly smiled at her.

"I don't know, I'd say pretty much the same as the idea of me messing with your birth control pills scared you!"

"I didn't say it scared me that you might have messed with my birth control pills." She answered with an innocent mischievous look on her face.

House promptly straightened up in the bed and stared at her with a genuine panicked look in his eyes.

"Wow!" He exclaimed "Now you are definitely scaring me."

She burst into laughter at her own joke: she had totally got him with her innuendo and he had looked so flabbergasted. She thought it was priceless! She came close to him and House laid back down next to her. Taking advantage of the situation, she hopped up on top of him and looked him straight in the eyes, resting her chin against his.

"Don't panic, we're not having a baby. Not now, not any time soon." She said teasingly, feeling that he was responding to the caress of her whole body along his. "'Cause I'll definitely go for any other sperm but yours first if I want to have a baby. You're too genetically damaged to qualify." She chuckled.

In a prompt move he seized her by the hips and rolled her under him, reversing the roles.

"Maybe" He said with an aroused look. "But you're happy to have me now."

Cuddy wrapped her arms around his waist and sent him back the same aroused look.

"Yes I am.' She answered "Which is why I've never said I wouldn't want you just for the sex!"

"Oo, naughty girl" He teased "Good thing Wilson didn't hear you say that!"

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**A/N **

**THANK YOU AGAIN FOR YOUR REVIEWS**... _and THANK YOU to everyone who has added me in their list of favorites (even if they stay anonymous)... because that's a real kick too to know you're someone's favorite... :-)_

_and just a silly (kinda coded) wish... I'd wish cell phones would have problems getting to the site more often.... hehe ;-)..._

_now, what awaits you in the next chapter?: uhmmm well ............ new steps ....... significant, in a way.... but in which direction? hah.... stay tuned to find out... _

_and of course, as always, I wish you all a WONDERFUL DAY!! ~ maya_


	25. Chapter 25

_NEW CHAPTER!! where you find out that when you keep taking steps, even small ones, then at some point you start to move... which could be a good thing if, on top of that, you're also going in the right direction... _

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CHAPTER 25

They needed that. Again. They seemed to never get enough of each other. House made love to her like a soldier coming back from the war makes love to the woman whose only thought kept him out of his nightmare. There was impatience and passion in it but there was also relief and gratitude. Each time they locked eyes, he stared at her with an intense look in which their present joy was mingled with all the fears of losing her he had gone through in the past; and when Cuddy caught that look, she felt a wave of emotions running through her whole body and touching her core until the languorous sound of her moans was no longer coming out of only fulfilled lust.

What they needed to express was powerful and overwhelming and strong. What they had to show to each other was coming from very deep inside of them. And what they were telling each other with their body language was as explicit as words.

And it frightened them.

Not that they didn't want it to be that way. But they weren't prepared for this. They had tried to fight against evidence. They had tried to deny the undeniable, wanting to convince themselves it was a game. They'd been chasing each other, teasing each other and pushing each other's button for years. They had been mad at each other a million times and a million times they had run back to each other. And with this subtle mix of innuendos, banter and anger, they had implied they wanted this to happen.

And now it had.

And it had been amazing. It was important, because they had been yearning for this and this could have been a disaster. But it hadn't. Of course it was exciting and new and it created a feeling of greatness which, they were fully aware, could only be short-lived. They had given the impression that this sudden passionate surge was only an out the blue impulse, but it wasn't. Each in their own way, had thought about the consequences of what might follow after they would have taken that step. And what would come after was the terrifying unknown.

They made love and right after this next round of uncontrolled bursting desire they laid next to each other in silence. It was not an awkward silence though but just a silence that said that they were now aware things had changed and they were no longer just bonded by an employer/employee relationship, even a friendly one while, at the same time they seemed to not be ready to allow themselves to think about themselves as lovers yet.

Cuddy's head was resting on House's chest and he was listlessly fondling her back while she was tickling his navel with her fingertips. It was obvious that they both wanted to say something and just couldn't find the strength to break the silence.

"What?" House asked all of a sudden, as if he was asking her to repeat something she hadn't said.

Her fingers stopped on his belly and she moved her head up onto his chest to nuzzle in his neck. She took a deep breath and cowardly tried to buy herself some time.

"What what?"

"What is it you have to say?" He gently seized her by the shoulders and made her slither backwards so he could see her.

She kept her eyes down and in a very low voice she whispered "I guess I probably should go." House put his forefinger under her chin and made her raise her face up to him.

"Look at me." He said with a shaky voice that slightly betrayed his angst.

She lifted her eyes to him and in her beautiful light blue eyes, he read confusion and hesitation.

"Do you _want_ to go?"

He saw she was struggling to answer and he tried to hide the distressing feeling it left him with and to repress the lump that was forming in his throat because of it. He studied her closely but he couldn't tell if she was hesitating because she didn't know whether she should tell him a painful truth or if she was just trying to find a way of saying it. He was expecting everything, except what obviously turned out to be the most rational reason there could be.

"I have to go back to my place." She explained with a voice that explicitly suggested she was really disappointed she had to.

"Why?" He asked, guessing the answer, now that he felt both relieved to have understood it was such a simple reason and completely stupid to have thought it could have been something else.

"House, I have to go to work in different, and clean clothes, tomorrow."

"No you don't! Who cares? I don't care. You could go naked if you like. I really couldn't care less. Or maybe… I could care more!"

He sent her a boyishly lecherous smile that made her laugh but she pouted and shook her head.

"You know I can't go to work wearing the same clothes I was wearing today. And I probably shouldn't tell you that because you'll just use it as a pretext to mock me but, I need my make-up. I don't wake up in the morning with the same face I have now."

"You look awful now." House stated, repressing a chuckle.

She widened her eyes in astonishment and he smiled in delight, taking time to study her. Her curls were all entangled. There was not a single remaining trace of lipstick on her lips. She looked a bit tired and it revealed some dark rings under her eyes. She was a mess. And she was the most beautiful and sexy thing he had ever held in his arms. He leaned down to her and enfolded her in her arms to pull her into him.

"But you definitely don't need make-up to look that_ incredibly_ awful to me." He whispered in her ears, rubbing his nose against her skin to smell her and fill his nostrils with her tantalizing scent.

Cuddy heard him take deep breathes in her neck. Unaware of the pleasure he was taking in this, she fidgeted a little to push him away.

"I need to take a shower." She said a little embarrassed.

A mischievous smile formed on his lips. He made his way back against her and kissed her from behind her ear to the edge of her collarbone.

"Hmm yes," he teased her, "shower's a good idea."

She slapped him on the arm and pushed him away, again. He started to laugh but when he caught her gaze, he saw how serious she was. She was staring at him, stubbornly silent, waiting for him to say something that would finally ease the situation and make it less painful for her to go. House released her of his embrace and suddenly becoming serious, he looked at her straight in the eyes.

"I don't want you to go." He said in a low voice, surprising himself to hear the words coming out of his mouth so easily.

Cuddy's expression completely changed from annoyance to pleasure and she sent him a longing look.

"Oh House!" She said with a sorry disappointed pout on her face. "But I have to."

"No you don't."

There were no traces of teasing or banter in his tone now. He searched in her eyes to find the proof of it.

"Stay the night." He added.

Cuddy opened her mouth to say something but he was faster than her and didn't let her have any chance to speak before he did.

"Stop thinking about tomorrow. Think about here… and now. You still have plenty of time before you should start freaking out about what totally inappropriate sexy low-cut top you should wear tomorrow for work."

She sent him a shocked disapproving look, but deep inside she was already sensing she was ready to give up all kind of resistance and yield. Maybe House felt it in her gaze or in the way she seemed to relax next to him.

"You could leave early in the morning and drive to your place and then still get to the hospital on time. And even if you don't, God! The world won't crumble down just because you're not there to control everything."

"I know the world won't crumble down." She repeated, sounding defeated.

"Then get out of my bed and go take your shower!" He exclaimed with a broad smile, knowing he had won.

Cuddy looked at him hesitantly, trying to resist the irresistible. House got out of bed and he stood, naked in front of her for a few second, before he seized her by the arm and shook her gently.

"Come on, Cuddy! Out!"

She glided to the edge of the bed and stood up, naked too on the other side of the bed. He gave her a shameless long stare, took a deep breath and silently leaned down to pick up his clothes. He grabbed his boxers and his jeans and put them on.

"What are you doing?" She asked perplexed.

"Tss, scoot!" He ordered pointing the bathroom with his finger.

"I need my clothes." She said, indicating with her chin that they were lying on the floor on his side of the bed.

House looked down and slightly smiled before he bent over again; when he straightened up, he threw her a ball of stuff over the bed that she caught in her arms. She gave a quick glance at it and stared back at him with a tender smile.

"You don't need to get dressed." He uttered, giving her her smile back before she had the chance to speak.

"I'm not going anywhere." She told him "I'm just going to take a shower."

With this simple sentence, she was clearly referring to the night at his place when she had left. She knew that he hadn't forgotten about that moment and that he had probably thought of it, right at this moment, even unconsciously, when he had thrown her his shirt instead of her clothes to put on after her shower.

"I know." He said in a low voice.

She gave him one last glance and she started to walk towards the bathroom. When he heard the water flowing, House grabbed a tee shirt on a chair next to his bed and slipped it on.

Cuddy let herself go under the flow of warm water. The sensation felt good on her skin. She felt good. She took his shower gel and washed herself. The foam had this very particular musk odor and she closed her eyes when she recognized his masculine scent. After a long moment while she just relaxed under the water, she stepped out of the tub and dried herself. She put on the clothes he had given her: her panties and his shirt. She took a look at her reflection in the mirror and smiled. Just before she walked out of the bathroom, she felt a little puzzled because she didn't know what to do next. The sensation was awkward. She was here in his apartment, half naked in his bathroom, wearing his shirt, and now what? What was she supposed to do? It wasn't that she hadn't enjoyed having this moment under the shower alone, but she suddenly thought it would have been easier for her if he had been there with her. She walked out of the bathroom cautiously, wondering where she should now go or what she should do. But when she stepped out of the room and entered into the bedroom, she saw he was there, waiting for her, and she sighed in relief. He was sitting on the bed, bare-chested and just wearing pajamas bottom. She walked towards him. He followed her with his eyes narrowed and an explicit look on his face.

"I'm used to see you walking with those arousing working lady's suits on, but I must say, men's clothes don't look that bad on you either. Or maybe it's just because you don't wear the bottom part."

She smiled at his innuendos as she arrived at the bedside. She was about to sit next to him when he held his hand out in a typical warning gesture.

"Watch out!" He exclaimed, "You don't want to sit on this." And he showed her the tray that was lying on the bed beside him.

"What's this?" She asked, a wave of emotions filling her. On the tray, there was a glass of wine, an apple and some cookies and a plate with a big cheese and tomato omelet.

"I think they call it food." He answered casually, working hard to not make this a big deal.

She gave him a complete helplessly fond smile.

"You said you were hungry but actually… instead of giving you something to eat I think I made you burned out the few calories you had left… twice."

"You cooked this for me?" She asked, with a tender pout.

"Figured an apple and some cookies wouldn't be enough… I don't want the Dean of Medicine to faint in my bedroom due to hypoglycemia. What would I say to the paramedics, if they'd come to pick you up here?"

"House…" She whispered, melting with affection.

He took the tray and lifted it up then gestured her to come sit down next to him. When she did he put the tray on her lap.

"Stop talking and eat before it gets cold." He told her, with a smile in the corner of his mouth.

Without any further persuasion required, Cuddy grabbed the fork and cut a big bite out of the omelet. She put it in her mouth and sighed in delight as soon as she felt the taste of food on her tongue. She swallowed the first bite practically without chewing it. She plunged the fork back in the plate and took another piece of the omelet. House studied her while she, unaware of his eyes on her, ate heartily. House visibly took pleasure in every second of it and when she'd finished her food, leaving only few crumbles of cookies on the tray, he tilted his head on the side, still silently staring at her, a fond smile irrepressibly forming on his lips. He took the empty tray off of her lap and leaned down to put it on the floor. When he sat back up he looked at her and couldn't repress a laugh, when he saw her sigh in plain contentment.

"You were starving, weren't you?" He asked her, amused.

"I was a little hungry." She answered in an innocent voice.

"You were totally starving!" He repeated, in a chuckling voice.

"It's almost 11!" She protested, trying to justify herself.

"Seriously?" He said raising his eyebrows, "Time to go to sleep!" He stated with a slight impatient tone.

He got up and gently motioned her to do the same, while he spread the sheets out. He climbed onto the bed and looked at her standing at the bedside. She seemed suddenly hesitant and uneasy, as if she had now time to think about what she was really doing. Reading her embarrassment, he patted the mattress next to him to encourage her to join him in the bed.

"I have nothing to sleep in" She said feeling uncomfortable. "I can't sleep in your shirt."

"Who said you needed to wear something?" He answered leaning forward and seizing her by the wrist to pull her into him.

She fell on the bed next to him and he came closer and slowly started to unbutton the shirt she had on but she instinctively clung on to it. House raised a suspicious eyebrow.

"What is it?" He asked gently.

"I'm tired… I don't think I can … I mean…"

House burst out into laughter.

"Wow! You really do think everything's about sex? You're scaring me!" He protested in an exaggerated shocked voice "I just want to feel your skin against mine while we sleep, that's all. And FYI, I can spend an entire night without touching you if I want, you know. Whew! Easy!"

Cuddy looked at him and smiled. She sat up straight in the bed and finished unbuttoning the shirt herself, revealing her beautiful round breasts. House glanced at her and gasped. Then he closed his eyes and shook his head determinedly. Cuddy looked at him and giggled, before she slid under the sheet and came close to his body to snuggle herself up against him. He turned the light off and pulled her into him. Her skin was soft and warm against his. He nuzzled in her neck and breathed deeply. She smelled like his shower gel but it was different from the scent he was used to smelling on his own skin. She smelled like her: femininity, delicacy, softness… with "a blush of citrusy on the nose"…

"Good night." He whispered in her ear.

She moaned and wriggled against him, rubbing her skin against his chest.

"'Night!" She answered already half-asleep.

House sighed, making the most of this feeling of deep well-being. Carefully making sure not to wake her, he gently pulled her into him and held her tighter. Closing his eyes and finally relaxing, he soon allowed him to fall asleep as well.

* * *

**A/N**

_I hope you're doing ok!!_

_what awaits you in the next chapter?: well.... uhmm.... let's see, you sleep and then, the night passes by, sun rises and then what?..... Duh, yes you wake up!!......... :-) so how do you think th first "morning after" will be? _

_tell me how much you want to know......._

_and until I figure out, have a GREAT day! ~ maya_


	26. Chapter 26

_NEW CHAPTER! about the next morning, as I told you... cuz' there're magic moments and moments after..._

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* * *

****CHAPTER 26**

First Cuddy felt a tickling sensation in her neck, like the soft touch of a feather on her skin. She moaned in her sleep and squirmed, rolling on her side. But just few seconds later, it started again on the corner of her lips and this time it felt like the sweet sensation of a kiss. She knew that sensation. Half asleep, she felt a tongue slightly brushing the surface of her lips, trying to make its way inside her mouth. With her eyes still closed, she gave in to that kiss and raised her hand above her. She met his face and it felt rough under her touch. She rubbed his stubble gently and moved her fingertips all over his visage like a blind person would have done to read Braille. His lips slid down to her cheek and started to trace soft kisses on her face; on her forehead, her eyelids, her cheekbone and her nose… then she felt the gentle touch of those lips trailing off along her neck. She felt an arousing sensation awakening her body and she reached out her arms in front of her to meet his body.

"Mmm…" She sighed, stretching herself, as the delightful sensation was running from her head down to her toes, all along her legs and in her stomach, sending quivering waves of pleasure along her nerves.

Between the velvety sensations of his kisses on her skin, she heard his familiar voice whispering in her ear.

"Hey! Rise and shine! It's time!"

"What time?" She muttered with a sleepy hoarse voice.

"Time for you to go run a hospital I guess."

Cuddy opened her eyes and glanced at the clock on the night stand. When she saw the time, she literally jumped to sit up straight.

"Oh my God, it's eight!" She gasped in panic, "House! You were supposed to wake me up early!"

He barely had the time to jump as well, only backwards, to keep from bumping into her. Then he looked at her with a plain, satisfied smile.

"You were sleeping so well," He stated with a little pout, "I couldn't resign myself to wake you up."

She glared at him and her whole body stiffened while she opened her mouth to protest, but then she suddenly relaxed and tilted her head to the side.

"Were you spying on me while I was asleep?" She asked, visibly touched by the idea.

House shrugged and rolled his eyes, as if to say this would be the dumbest thing to do and his poor attempt at making his confession sound casual melted Cuddy. But not more than for a few seconds, after which she then began to get stressed again.

"Never mind!" She exclaimed, hopping off the bed, "I have no time for this! Oh God, how am I gonna make it! D'ya have any idea of how late it'll be now when I arrive at the hospital? I have to take a shower. I have to get dressed. And then I have to go to my place and change clothes. And after that, I won't have time to have breakfast, but then I'll grab something in the hospital, if I can, before…"

Still sitting in the bed, House followed her erratic and disorganized movements all around the room, with a broad smile on his face. It was like she was just panicking on her own, talking to herself, walking around the bed and occasionally bending over to pick up her clothes. He stepped out of the bed and walked towards her while she was leaning down to grab a shoe. When she got up again, she jumped at the sight of him standing just in front of her. He gently seized her shoulders and made her stop fidgeting.

"Are you always this hysterical when you wake up?" He asked her with a tender look in the eyes.

"I'm not hyste…" She protested, but then she saw the smile on his face and she wiggled to set herself free, holding on to the ball of clothes she had gathered in her arms. "House! It's really not the time for joking! And may I suggest you hurry up too, because you're still in your pajamas and correct me if I'm wrong but you do work in the same hospital as I do, so shouldn't you be already dressed up and ready to leave?"

"I have to take a shower before." He said impishly.

"Well me first." She answered, ordering more than suggesting.

"Or…" House started, with a naughty look on his face, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her close to him "We could take a shower together."

"You're not serious, right?" She stated with an exasperated voice, twisting in his arms to release herself from his embrace, "What is it that you don't understand in the concept of being in a hurry?" And she left him there in the middle of the room, while she headed into the bathroom to get ready.

House looked at her leave and smiled, with a little sparkle of mischievousness hidden behind his eyes. He waited until he heard the water flow, and a little more after that, long enough for him to be sure she would be inside the tub. Then he assertively walked into the bathroom and undressed himself. He drew the shower curtain open and stepped under the flowing water. Cuddy was facing the wall and she didn't notice his presence until she felt his touch on her back. She screamed and turned around to face him with one hand on her heart.

"Are you out of your mind?" She said, her voice shaking with emotions, "You scared the hell out of me!"

He sent her a boyish longing stare and came closer, reaching out for her waist. She pulled herself together and the Dean of Medicine tried to look angrily at him but he saw the woman's smile in the depth of her eyes.

"House! What are you doing?" She started, struggling unconvincingly to free herself of his arms.

"I'm trying to figure out the concept of being in a hurry" He answered, leaning down to kiss her.

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The shower had been a weakness to which she shouldn't have allowed herself to yield. A delightful and sweet one indeed but she'd never been so late and because of it she was really feeling terribly edgy. House showed her to the door and she was in such a rush that she was about to leave without even taking time to say something; but he held her back. At the doorstep, just when she was stepping outside, he seized her arm and made her stop. She turned to face him with an impatient look and he repressed the feeling of disappointment that her sudden indifference had left him feeling; because he knew this was his fault and that he was responsible for her being so wrapped up in the urgency of going to work.

"Have a nice day." He simply said to her in a low voice, sending her a stare that gathered all the unspoken words he had wished she would understand he meant.

Despite the distressful feeling of being late, Cuddy took a small step back inside and came close to him. She lifted her hand up to her face and with a smile softly caressed his cheek, staring intensely back at him.

"I will." She answered and suddenly running again, she left.

It was almost nine in the morning but House was not the hurrying kind of man. He watched her leave with a dreamy smile on his face and got back inside where he blithely took all the time he needed to enjoy a real nice breakfast.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

When he finally arrived at the hospital, House approached the nurse's station in the entrance lobby and leaned forward to take his messages and mail.

"Barely 10am!... wow! You fell out of bed this morning!" exclaimed the familiar teasing voice of his friend behind him.

House stood up again and turned around to face Wilson who unlike him, was already wearing his coat and carrying some patients files with him. House greeted him with a smirk and started to check on his mail.

"It's not _that_ late. I could have come later if I'd wanted to." He answered casually, not making eyes contact.

"And would you have had a good reason for that?" Wilson asked coming closer and his voice becoming low.

House suddenly lifted his gaze and stared at him in silence, then he looked around him suspiciously and bent down to Wilson's face, as if he was about to share a secret. Wilson stretched his neck to be all ears. But all of a sudden, House straightened up and turned his head away.

"Cuddy's not using me to have a baby." He said matter-of-factly, "Although I'd say that if she was, we'd definitely be doing a great job trying, but she's not."

Wilson widened his eyes in astonishment.

"Are you talking to me or is it just another burst of your insane thoughts expressed out loud?" Wilson asked, perplexed.

"Ah funny that you're mentioning insane thoughts here…"

"Really? And why?"

"Because! ..." House replied, pointing his index finger to him and trying to repress the smile that was irrepressibly forming on his lips, "you couldn't help it, could you?"

"What? Couldn't help what?" Wilson repeated in disbelief.

"Warning! What do you want it to be?" House exclaimed, "Sharing your insights about how you thought it should be! First with her, and then with me ... Wow! You almost did a perfect job screwing it all up."

Wilson looked at House in shock but then realizing what he was implying, his mouth dropped open and he came near his friend standing right behind him and lowering his voice.

"You mean Cuddy and you are serious? You mean you two are…like… a couple?"

House rolled his eyes and tilted his head to the side to look at Wilson.

"Why do you have this irrepressible need to mate every male and female together? Seriously? This is really becoming annoying you know! This has nothing to do with being a couple or anything like that! It's just… just…"

"Just what?" Wilson asked unaware of House suddenly becoming distracted and staring in the opposite direction towards the entrance door.

"You're late!" House cried out.

Wilson turned his head and saw Cuddy entering the hospital with a look of discomfiture on her face, looking down at her feet and desperately trying to not cross House's gaze in the process.

"What is it?" House derisively added to all present, making it sound particularly teasing, "Did you think about me in the shower this morning? 'Cause I thought about you, you know and it definitely turned it into a long shower, longer than usual that is."

Cuddy hurried to the nurse's station embarrassingly smiling to Wilson as she passes alongside him and sending House a glare. She greeted the nurse that handed her over her messages and mail with a quick smile and she promptly turned her heels and then walked towards the clinic. Before she'd reached the door, she heard his voice calling out again.

"By the way, I love what you're wearing today. Good choice!"

Cuddy took a deep breath and pushed the clinic door opened without saying a word and House couldn't see the little satisfied smile forming on her face as a delightful thrill of joy ran through her spine.

"Are you insane?" Wilson whispered to House, "How could you put her in such an embarrassment? Now everybody will know about you and…"

"I say things like that to her all the time." House answered, "I've always had and will continue to do so. It's only if I stop that it'd raise some suspicions."

"But, what you've just said is… true?"

"Yea' but you're the only one to know."

Wilson raised his eyebrows and slightly nodded before he suddenly tilted his head to the side and enquiringly looked at his friend.

"Hmm… A shower?… this morning?"

House retrieved his cane from the desk counter against which it was resting and smiled to his friend.

"Forget it. _That_? You're not going to know!" He said, promptly limping away towards the elevator and leaving Wilson staring blankly with a thoughtful look on his face.

* * *

**A/N**

_Hi everyone! I hope you're all feeling great today! THANK YOU FOR THE REALLY WONDERFUL AND TOUCHING REVIEWS... your words are very kind and I don't want to debase the feeling they're leaving me with because they mean something to me... each of them! so_ **thank you** _again_

_now, what's to be expected in the next chapter... ? ... hah different places, different times, different state of minds... that's all I can say..._

_now to 'Huddles777' AND everyone who, most legitimately, asked themselves the question:_ "how did House go from one minute getting out of bed and putting his boxers jeans and T-shirt on to directly then being sat on the bed bare chested with just his PJ bottoms on?"

_well... what can I say?..... since, moreover, House also had the time to cook her an omelete in the meantime, this is ONLY because Cuddy took a VERY long shower!! obviously...... LOL!! :-D_

_have a nice day! ~ maya_

_ps (to Cosette) : wow! mes super pouvoirs magiques ont frappé! bon, je vais pas faire semblant: je suis hyper flattée de "mériter" un troisième commentaire... et de fait, je me dois d'y apporter une réponse: pour l'anglais c'est simple, TOUTES les occasions sont bonnes pour m'em imprégner, ce qui signifie, les films, toujours en VO, idem pour les séries, et puis aussi des livres en anglais, plus quelques chats online avec des amis américains... ensuite, ecrire pour moi c'est comme une respiration, je le fais sans y penser. la langue importe peu, c'est juste une question de "musique" et de "rythme" des mots. il faut que je l'entende, il faut que ça "sonne" juste à mon oreille (oui, c'est un truc auquel je suis très sensible vu que je fais de la musique...) autrement et évidemment pour les impasses, ben j'ai le dico!! comme tout le monde!! hahaha_


	27. Chapter 27

_NEW CHAPTER!! where you'll find out why communication IS the key..._

_I hope you'll enjoy it..._**

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**~~ CHAPTER 27 ~~**

And the day went by. And then the day after that. And again the other after that. And nearly the entire week. Each night after their day at work, House and Cuddy would meet, either at his place or at hers and they'd spend the night having sex and talking and having sex again. All in all it was just a few days and a few days weren't a long period of time. However, it was enough for them to know. Something was happening and in this particular context, at this moment in both their life, it could either turn out to be something beautiful and fulfilling or something ugly and damaging. And if they were certainly not ready to dare hope for the first one, they also weren't prepared to risk living through the second either.

The sex was great and it wasn't a questionable fact. It was obvious that on that field they were perfect for each other. They were both liberated adults at ease with their body and their needs and they had an indisputable physical chemistry. For a lot of people that would definitely have been enough, but for them it was not the reason for it at all. It was plainly evident that they were searching for more, plainly evident that there was something else that had drawn them to each other to begin with and yet they both were incapable of saying it to the other. So many things remained unsaid. They tried, very hard to open up to each other but in the end they just couldn't find the strength to suffer the weakness of admitting their feelings. Their most powerful language was their body language and through it they were saying a lot to each other with no words, but for all the other things they were dying to scream to each other, they simply weren't ready yet. So they didn't talk a lot. However, despite the silence, they were both fully aware of everything they hadn't evoked yet with each other, and they knew it was there, hanging above their head and sometimes, just with a long stare or the way they would caress each other, they could feel it exist as powerfully as if they'd talked about it in a real conversation. "_Were_ _they going somewhere together?_" "_Should they keep this secret?_" "_Did they have something in common apart from the great sex they were sharing?_" "_Was all this serious or were they just having fun?_" "_Were they going somewhere?_"…

At work nothing had changed for them and at the same time everything was different. It was puzzling and awkward and they had to adjust step by step to the amount of little details that was making their day look like any other usual day but actually just so much not like it in the end. Not that they had many reasons to come across each other often but each time they did, it took them a little extra time to find the right way to talk to each other, the right distance to set between them, the right gesture towards each other. The truth was, most of the time, just seeing each other was sparking off a violent urge to touch each other but as they were fully aware it wasn't conceivable so they just sighed instead. Lots of sighs, lots of frustration and repressed yearning in the day, leading to lots of hungry sex at night, followed by the screaming silence of what they should have confess to each other…

House got a new patient. Cuddy came in his office and handed him the case. And it really was a weird sensation, for both of them. Before they had to live this old and familiar thing within this new special situation between them for real, they had discussed about how they should proceed to do it and House had suggested he'd have to protest a little in order to make it sound as normal as usual. Cuddy had smiled about the fact that protesting was something even House himself could qualify as usual, but she was forced to admit he was right. The logical image that they both were giving to the people from the outside world was that of a man and a woman squabbling like any other occasion and now that they were "together", or that thing implied in the silence they'd shared to designate their situation, they should be careful to not act any differently. In a way, with this little clarification, they had also implicitly decided that they shouldn't talk about themselves inside the hospital walls. There, they would act like two doctors, responsible and reasonably distant, in the fair limits of what they were supposed to share for professional reasons.

The team was there when Cuddy entered the conference room and she walked straight to House with the file in her hand. She really wished to look assertive and casual but deep inside the sensation was uncomfortable, because for some reason, it felt as if the ducklings were staring at them and waiting for something really awkward to happen. And somehow it was a legitimate concern, because the fact was that the last time Cuddy had seen the entire team all together was the day in her office when she'd had this completely surreal conversation with House, ending with a "we're done" which had almost cost them to sabotage any chance they had to explore their budding relationship further.

So Cuddy came close to House, trying to ignore the four doctors in the room and she explained the symptoms to him, to convince him it was a good challenging patient that belonged to his department of diagnostic. House did his little act and brilliantly protested like only he could do. Cuddy waited patiently and sighed just at the right moments and then eventually she handed him the file. When he took it, while at the same time staring intensely at her, he purposely brushed her hand with his fingers and she slightly shivered at his touch. Only he could see it, or so she hoped, and he gave her a discreet smile that was too private and full of innuendos for her to deal with. Maybe he could do that in front of his team. Maybe he was comfortable with the idea that they might guess what was happening between them. Maybe after all he didn't care if they did. She felt a little puzzled and looked at him right in the eyes.

"I'll arrange for the patient to be admitted in your department within the next hour." She said, "Good luck."

House narrowed his eyes and tilted his head on the side to study her.

"What do you mean 'Good luck'?" He asked her suspiciously.

Cuddy took a deep breath and lowered her gaze a few seconds before she could find the strength to look back at him.

"I mean that you're going to have to cure that guy in the old traditional safe way and I hope you find one because as for the crazy insane medical solutions that you may come up with in the next three days, I won't be here to give you the green light."

It barely lasted one second but Cuddy clearly saw it in his eyes. He was completely taken aback and lost and she saw he looked shocked. He tried to hide it and looked away. He glanced at his team and bit his lips, obviously struggling to decide whether he should pretend to not care or if he should respond to that brutal and violent urge commanding him to ask her if it was what he had understood it was. Cuddy was still staring at him and their eyes met again. She saw him take a quick breath and stiffen before he turned his back on her and walked towards his team.

"Don't worry Dr. Cuddy," House exclaimed theatrically, "This guy will be just fine… with or without you to take care of him. It's not as if you were totally indispensable, is it? "

Cuddy forced herself to smile because she knew from the moment he opened his mouth and pronounced the first words it wasn't about the patient at all. It was about him being hurt and trying to hide it in his typical abrasive way. And somehow it was her fault. She had this business trip scheduled since a long time now and she hadn't told him about it. She couldn't explain why. It was probably silly but the fact was she hadn't been able to convince herself it was something he would have wanted her to share with him. She couldn't allow herself to think he cared enough about her to need to know those kinds of things. But now that she had seen his eyes, she felt terrible and above all stupid. She couldn't ignore that particular look on his face. It was crying out he cared. At least that was what she wanted to believe. But sensing the presence of his team in the room observing them more than ever before, there was not much she could do to explore this new feeling further. They were facing each other in silent whereas all she wanted was to talk things over with him and apologize. And she wanted him to take her in his arms, then nestle her face in his chest and feel his hand in her hair. But she helplessly looked at him instead. She hated this stupid damn business trip, that's what she wanted to tell him. And as frustrating as it might be, again, this wasn't the appropriate moment for that. She bit her bottom lip and sighed, sending him a longing stare but he turned his head away and as there was nothing left to add, she left the room silently, walking past the team and feeling the weight of their stares on her.

Cuddy spent the rest of the day trying to have a private moment with House. She had to leave later that evening and she was painfully realizing that because of her stupid thoughtless reluctance to share a simple event with him, she had now deprived herself of a real goodbye and although she hadn't left yet, she was already missing him. She needed to tell him that to make things right again, and get rid of this unwanted misunderstanding. In the early afternoon, she decided to try her luck and she went to his floor, walking straight to his office. Fortunately, he was alone just as she had wished. She entered the room with a determined pace and stopped just in front of his desk. He looked up at her and stubbornly kept silent, making her understand he wasn't going to make this easy for her. She sighed heavily, mentally beating herself up, but perfectly understanding she deserved it in a way. She didn't quite know where to start though so she just took a deep breath and got straight to the point.

"I'm leaving this evening to attend a Pediatric Endocrinology Symposium in Seattle."

He narrowed his eyes and waited a little while with his head tilted on the side.

"Ok. Cool. Have fun." He finally said, sounding detached but staring at her with a remaining slight trace of that hurt she'd seen earlier in his gaze.

"I'm sorry I haven't told you."

He shrugged and smirked ironically.

"Why? We're not married. You don't owe me an explanation."

"Fair enough." She said bitterly, stomaching the malicious comment, "But I… I wanted to say that… I should have…"

"What? It's only three days! You think I'm gonna miss you?" He continued to provoke her.

Cuddy felt the pang of sadness in her chest. Of course he would never confess it. Never first. He would have shown too much weakness if he had. But asking her was a subtle way of bringing up the subject and leaving it up to her to say it first. And deep inside, what she wanted to scream was YES! She would have. Missed him. A lot. And she wanted him to miss her too. And _say_ he would. But it was as if this stupid little escalation of detachment he was forcing her to play was never enough and the words just couldn't get out of her mouth.

"That's not up to me to tell you what you should feel." She answered, looking intensely at him straight in the eyes, trying to catch his thoughts behind his piercing blue gaze.

"Then I guess we'll only know when you're back." He cleverly turned aside.

"I guess we will." She stated embittered and turned away to leave.

When she was at the door, about to walk outside his office, she heard him called her name. She stopped and turned around to face him, full of hope. His mouth was opened as if he was about to say something. She stared at him quizzically.

"Are you going with Bennett?" He finally asked her, out of the blue.

She widened her eyes in disbelief, mentally wondering where that question could come from.

"No, I'm going alone… Why would you care?" She couldn't help herself to add.

He gave her a slight smirk, stomaching her sarcasm. "Bennet's an ass." He muttered under his breath.

"What?"

_I know that son of a bitch would do you any day if he had the chance_ he thought, clenching his jaws, but instead he just said:

"I'm just concern about you being all alone without me there, that's all."

"There will be about a hundred and fifty other doctors at that symposium, so I guess you don't have to worry about me being alone" She answered, becoming slightly annoyed by his nonsense; and she started to leave again.

"Cuddy!" He called her when she'd reached the door.

She stopped and grabbed the glass door frame, looking down at her feet as if she was trying to gather the strength of facing him one more time. Then she turned around and sighed heavily, staring at him with a disenchanted gaze. He saw this look on her face and bit his bottom lip. He was dying to tell her. "_I'll miss you_" that was not so hard, was it? But the words just simply wouldn't come out. He opened his mouth and continued to stare silently at her.

"Don't wear too many whorish low cut tops there, 'cause you know it's cold in Seattle, and that would be completely irresponsible… and inappropriate."

She looked at him with her eyes wide opened and her mouth dropped opened in astonishment. What else could she have expected from him? She puffed and shook her head, once again completely befuddled by his unexpected and so unusual manners. But somehow, wasn't it exactly who he was and in a way exactly how she wanted him to be? The questions along with all the different answers were all mixed up in her head and she couldn't decide if she ought to be mad at him anymore. Right at this moment, all she knew was that alone in a bed in Seattle was the last place she would have wanted to be tonight. But, staring at his childish mischievous pout she also knew for sure that it would be a cold day in hell before she would admit that to him now!

"I'm a big girl. I'll be fine." She said, stepping outside his office and leaving him sitting alone at his desk with an undecipherable smile on his lips.

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**A/N**

_what awaits you in the next chapter?: House dealing with Cuddy's absence... will he handle that well? or not?... uhmmm.... what do you think?_

_anyway GIVE ME SOME NEWS!! :-) WHERE ARE YOU?? I MISS YOU ALL... COME BACK!!_

_and of course have a GOOD DAY! ~ maya_


	28. Chapter 28

_here's the NEW CHAPTER! where, as promised, it's all about finding how House deals with Cuddy's absence... and even there... without her.... steps are made..._

_find out in which direction and tell me what you think about it! :-)_

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**CHAPTER 28**

The first day without her went by quite fast as House and his team had to start on the differential about the new patient they had. It was a thirty eight year old man presenting with fever and joint pain and irritable bowel syndrome. Taub had proposed colon cancer, Thirteen had optimistically opted for a minor food poisoning while Kutner had happily jumped on the auto-immune disease solution, suggesting carcinoid syndrome. To rule out, or maybe confirm one of those wild guess diagnosis, House had ordered a full series of tests and as the results kept on coming out negative for all the medical suggestions, they had just been busy enough to not care about anything else and be exclusively focused on the case as the hours went by one after the other.

It was really all that House needed to try not to think about her. He needed to keep his mind busy as much as possible and he knew it'd better really last long because the first night, while he was still in a semi-sleep, he had caught himself searching for her body under the sheets and when he had opened his eyes and seen his arms stretched out to the empty pillow next to him he had barely been able to repress the violent urge to smack himself in the face. "_She, damn bewitching pain in the neck! And her zesty body, and her beautiful steel blue eyes, and her pink lips smiling at him, and her hips rocking in his hands when they were…_" She couldn't let him sleep, even when she wasn't here! He had rubbed his forehead angrily. He wasn't prepared for that. Not that fast. And certainly not that strong. But God only knew how badly he had wanted her though, for so long. He had always chased her, and she had always been his consenting prey. And they wanted this to happen. And now he'd had her. She was his and he was… _No, House! This is just pure crap!_ He had sworn he would never go there again. He already had and he perfectly knew the results. And he couldn't live through that again. Not anymore.

Lying on his back with his eyes opened, staring blankly at the ceiling in the darkness of the room, he had thought, or rather struggled against the rush of feelings he had felt in his brain and in his chest and all over his body. He had rolled on his side and nuzzled in the pillow. And it had stricken him. Her scent was everywhere on the cloth. Like a child would have held on to his security blanket, House had grabbed the pillow and buried his face in it. He had taken deep and long breaths to fill him with her smell, her intoxicating odor, the one he could smell in her hair and right there, behind her ear, in her neck where her skin felt so soft and delicate. But suddenly, he had realized what he was doing, as if he was floating in the room watching his body from above and witnessing the whole scene. He, like a stupid moron, like a stupid prepubescent moron, was clinging to a piece of sheet to inhale the smell that her body had left in his bed. And he was doing this because he couldn't actually burry his face in her skin for real. He couldn't do that because she wasn't there and because she wasn't there, he couldn't sleep. This simple statement had just sent him into utter confusion.

So the next morning was the first real full day without her and fortunately it was the day when, all focused on the medical priorities he hadn't had time to think much about her. Just sometimes however, when one of his ducklings was suggesting some terribly rare disease leading to consider the terribly risky treatment that would fit, he had imagined himself bursting in her office to beg for clearance on a crazy procedure and he had imagined her smiling before she would have tried to say 'no' to him and then they would have pretended to argue until she would have said 'yes' and he would have felt so alive in that very moment, he'd probably have wished he could make love to her right there. But instead, to fight the popping images of Lisa Cuddy in his mind, he had just kept on ordering tests, after test, after test. Tests to rule out the results of the first tests and then confirm the ruling out of the previous tests and so on; until his brain was emptied, and left with nothing but the drawings of chemical protein chains and molecules.

The second night, he had tried a totally different strategy. She wasn't here? Great! Might as well enjoy this as an opportunity for doing a bunch of absolutely useless boyish things like, slouch down in his couch and drink beers while watching some games. He could have yelled at his TV and burped and cared for nothing. And he had. But then after the first hour and the umpteenth beer, it had felt awkwardly pointless. He was there, in his living room, sitting in his couch with his legs stretched on the coffee table and the game was good, but he was still alone and she still wasn't here. So he had turned the TV off and limped to the piano. And he had felt the pain was back in his leg. He had sat at the piano stool and rubbed his thigh with his head down, as if he was accepting this as a sign of fate.

_Ok, she's not here and it hurts, I get it! And so what? Does that make anything in my life different?_ Confused feelings again. And struggling. He had popped two Vicodin out of his bottle of pills and had swallowed them dry before holding his hands up above the piano keys. And the music that had come under his fingers was blues, longing whining old blues in which he could feel his own blue devils echoing in the emptiness of his home.

The second day when House entered the conference room, it was really unusually early for him. So early that it made the whole team jump with utter surprise when they saw him limp inside the room and go straight to the coffee machine.

"Mornin'..." He grumbled, pouring himself a full cup of the black liquid.

"Wow! You're early!" Kutner exclaimed with his childish bluntness.

"Yeah! Tell me something I don't already know just by looking at the time on my watch."

"Patient had bloody diarrhea." Foreman jumped on the occasion to focus on the case.

"Thank you brown-nose!" House said with a devilish smirk "And of course you know that when I say 'brown', it has nothing to do with the color of your skin…"

Foreman rolled his eyes and shifted in his chair to hide his discomfort.

"Ok so bloody diarrhea! What does it tell us?" House asked with a heavy sigh, already feeling that it would be a very long day.

"Addison's Disease?" Thirteen suggested

"Hormone panel shows the cortisol's level is normal." Taub answered, flipping through the file's pages.

"Amebiasis?" Kutner proposed.

House raised an eyebrow at the mention of the disease. Boring, but with a train of tests to confirm. He had found his bone to chew for the rest of the day.

"We've already tested the stool for parasites. And there's none." Foreman said, cutting him in his fit. "It could be Crohn's Disease. The white blood cells count is showing severe anemia."

"Ok! Let's try this." House exclaimed rubbing his forehead with his thumb, "Do a colonoscopy to confirm."

The whole team stood up at his call, gathering all the tests results on the glass table and then walked out, leaving House standing alone in the room looking thoughtfully at the ceiling.

_Let's try this!_ That's actually what he had just said… _try this_… _God, he was pathetic!_ Leaning forward, House cradled his head in his left hand while the right one steadily grasped the cane's handle. Then coming from the hallway, he suddenly heard the sound of clicking high heels on the floor. He promptly straightened up and looked to the side, through the glass wall of the office, unconsciously holding his breath. And he saw her: a young nurse, in her twenties, quite curvy and with a nice swinging walk. She was attractive. There was no doubt about that. Then why had he felt so much disappointed at the sight of her silhouette striding down the hallway instead of the one he had stupidly hoped to see, whose image was now vividly invading his brain, with an incredible smile on her beautiful face?

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Wilson was eating a sandwich in his office, concentrating on his afternoon patient's files. It had been a few days since he hadn't bumped into his friend's butt somewhere, and it was quite strange. Even in the cafeteria, where he had experienced the very puzzling feeling of being able to eat the whole content of his tray; and realized that in some way, he had picked up the bad habit of ordering twice as much as he could actually eat himself. He had smiled at this irony but in the end, he had thought that there was a refreshing idea lying behind that. Not about the food, but about the fact that House could have reached a point where he didn't need to lean on him as much as he had in the past. That surely was a sign. Because Wilson, despite the undeniable sincerity and unconditional faith he was sure there was in his friendship with House, also knew that he often had been his friend's soul's cane somehow and he was happy and maybe relieved, that he was no longer needed for that as urgently as he would have been back in those dark and miserable times in his friend's life.

Wilson had lost himself deep in thought when he was suddenly jolted back to reality by the brutal sound of his office door being slammed open. He raised his head to see House standing in front of him, with his lost puppy face pouting at him. Wilson shook his head and tried not to jump too fast to an easy bad conclusion but opted for the neutral approach instead.

"House! For God's sake, can't you just knock like any well-mannered normal person would do?

"I'm not well-mannered."

"You're not normal."

"Normal's overrated."

"Normal's at least a good start."

House took a deep breath and a slight devilish smile flickered on his lips. He went to the couch and sat down, at the edge of the seat. With his hands crossed on his cane's handle and his cane between his legs, he rested his chin atop his hands and sighed.

"So?" Wilson said with a '_now-can-we-get-to-the-point?'_ look on his face.

"How are you doing today?" House mumbled unconvincingly, his chin still on the top of his cane.

"Wow!" Wilson answered, sincerely bewildered and even starting to get a little bit concerned. "Something bad happened. What is it?"

House raised an eyebrow, faking disbelief.

"Come on House! You never ask me how I'm doing. You don't give a crap about how I'm doing! I've barely even seen you lately…" Wilson exclaimed with his _I-know-better_ face.

House straightened up a little and wiggled with self-assurance.

"Ooh, poor Jimmy! He's jealous?" He teased.

Wilson's mouth drop open at the sassy comment but he soon regained composure and teased back.

"Not at all. You see, sometimes friendship _**can**_ be about something other than oneself. And actually, the truth is I'm happy for you. But I'm not quite sure that you're mature enough to understand that concept yet."

House sighed heavily and turned his head towards the window, stubbornly keeping silent.

"So, what's up?" Wilson asked again, plopping down in his chair and crossing his arms in front of his chest. "You're stuck at a dead end with your patient and you need me to help you figure out what's killing him?"

"If Amber was still alive, do you think you two would still be together?" House suddenly inquired completely out of the blue.

Wilson was completely taken off guard by this most unexpected query. He felt a pang of sadness clutching his heart at the mention of his dead girlfriend. He looked at House right in the eyes, searching for a reason why he would bring up the subject.

"I can't be with Amber. She's dead. Thank you to bring that painful memory back for me"

"Oh c'mon!" House exclaimed, "Don't tell me you've never asked yourself the question!"

"I don't know" Wilson answered throatily "It's pointless anyway… but…" He was searching for the right words, as the pain was hitting him harder and harder, "I guess yes. At least that's what I would have wished"

"How do you know?"

Wilson sighed heavily. Where was this leading anyway?

"I don't know," He exclaimed a little angry, "Amber's dead and we shouldn't have this conversation."

"I mean," House insisted, raising a distressed face towards Wilson, "how do you know when you've found the right person? How did you know with Amber?"

Wilson narrowed his eyes and studied his friend quizzically. Then he turned his head away and sighed heavily.

"I guess we… I… I mean, it felt good… being with her."

House gazed at Wilson and as if he was finally acknowledging the pain he had caused him, he silently nodded, a sorry smile flickering on his lips. Wilson looked at him and slightly shook his head as if to say _I got you, I know you didn't mean to hurt me_ and House turned his head away to stare absent-mindedly outside the window.

"You already know that yourself." Wilson said to change the subject and try to bring his friend back to reality, "You knew Stacy was the right woman for you."

House turned his head to face Wilson and frowned, intrigued. That wasn't the kind of comment he'd expected from his friend. He squinted at him, trying to decipher his goal.

"Stacy jumped me before I had the chance to say no." He answered with an ironic smile. "Then I guess it's all a question of men's weakness."

"A weakness that lasts 5 years. You can't call it a weakness anymore, it's masochism!"

House grinned at his friend but he still looked puzzled and uneasy. And Wilson perfectly knew why. The moment House had asked him about the right person, he had understood what it was all about. Because it always had to be about him and his obsessive need to label everything. And no matter how hurtful and blunt House could be sometimes, Wilson knew he only did that out of pain and confusion. And what could possibly confuse him more than Cuddy right now?

"Anyway, it happened she wasn't really the right one after all." House muttered, staring at the carpet with his head down.

As twisted as it could be in this very situation, considering that they had just evoked his dead girlfriend, who could have been _his_ one and that he should be the one feeling hurt and miserable, Wilson still almost felt sorry for his friend.

"What is it House?" He finally said, relieving him from all the heavy unspoken awkwardness "Do you question your feelings for Lisa?"

At the mention of her name, it took House less than a second to practically jump off of the couch and he then theatrically walked towards his friend's desk with a perfectly fake shocked look.

"Who?... Feelings? Who said anything about feelings here?!!" He exclaimed, leaning forwards above the desk.

Wilson slid lower in his chair and raised his palm in front of his chest.

"Uhh… not me." He said, repressing a smile.

House caught that smile and the friendly mockery lying under it. He straightened himself and tried to display a detached face.

"You're annoying you know."

"You're a jerk."

"Your favorite jerk."

"And hers too."

"For completely different reasons, obviously..."

"You know there's a word for that thing you're talking about?" Wilson uttered, amused.

"You mean sex?"

"Actually, I was thinking about something deeper… a four letter word… starting with an 'L'?"

"Oh, You mean _lust_?... not a bad one either!" House chuckled.

Wilson sighed but however smiled at the desperate stubbornness of his friend.

"House, you miss her. Just accept the damn feeling. It could be good for you, you know. Experiencing new positive feeling of longing..."

"Longing? Give me a break! "

"Why are you afraid then!"

"Duh? Should be! Wishing for Cruella to come back haunting the hospital hallways is creepy, don't you think?"

"Fine! Deflect! But House, you know that it changes nothing about the fact that, right now, you're like a poor soul wandering in misery without her!"

House shrugged and conspicuously rolled his eyes. Conversation was over. There would be no more direct allusions made about her. That's what this look meant. House seemed to have regained some energy or at least, he seemed to be less tense. Wilson studied him with an almost fatherly fondness.

"When is she coming back by the way?"

"Tomorrow." House answered tit for tat.

"You wanna come crash on my couch tonight?" Wilson asked him, with a small knowing smile.

House opened his eyes widely, a little taken aback. Not by the offer, but by the fact that his friend really didn't need to have things spelled out for him to understand him. He smiled.

"Well only if I get to choose the program. Because there's no way we're going to watch your fluffy telenovelas instead of Monster Truck Night!"

"Ok. But _**you**_ bring the beers."

House didn't even bother to answer and was already out of the room before Wilson had finished his last sentence.

Lisa Cuddy. Bold, forbidden, wild and risky choice. She had everything to turn House's rebel side on. She was a woman, probably the only one that could stand up to him and stomach his rudeness without being crushed into small pieces. She was a challenge. And because she had the power to even defeat him sometimes, she was more than a challenge, she was a mystery. And there was nothing that House loved more than mystery, because whenever he was confronted with one, he had the irrepressible urge to solve it and find out what was hidden underneath. Wilson had observed them squabbling and bickering and bantering for many years. There was no way he could have bought the poor excuse that it was just a game, if any of the two had dared to pretend it to him. They had feelings for each other. One would have been blind not to see it. Wilson cradled his chin in his hands and puffed ironically at this very idea.

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**A/N**

_what's in the next chapter? ... Hah?! how about we change the formula this one time and, instead of me telling you in advance, YOU give me your wishes... ok?_

_and of course, until we meet again through the next chapter, ENJOY YOUR LIFE, BE HAPPY... HAVE A BLAST! ~ maya_

_ps: I want to say_ **thank you SO much for your reviews**_... you can't imagine how deeply touched I am by your comments about the way I'm handling this story. the way you see it makes me really happy, not to mention how proud you make me feel, knowing that you think my attenpts at staying faithful and true to the characters aren't too lame! because this is really my first concern when I'm writing... so again, really, THANK YOU!_


	29. Chapter 29

_Hi everyone! _

_so here's the answer about what's in the new chapter... I loved all your suggestions... here's my humble one..... no poker night, no drunken orgy with Wilson, no cutting the top of the patient's head off... even for a test!! LOL.... neither roses at the airport nor a sexy negligee to celebrate.... *sigh* ..... only, and quite symetrically, Cuddy's take... coz', don't you want to know how she's coping without him? :-)_

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****~~ CHAPTER 29 ~~**

Cuddy hated to attend symposiums. It was not about medicine there, it was about business. Now, despite the fact that she was Dean of Medicine, she hadn't chosen to embrace this carrier to be witness to the self-righteous faces of allegedly devoted doctors that couldn't hide the only purely financial interest they had in selling their latest "scientific" discovery. She felt much more alive when she had to practice than when she had to deal with all the paper stuff and budget constraints. She was not a big fan of that. She was doing it because she had to and she was doing it well because… she had to, but in the end, she was never happier than when she was wearing her coat and dealing with patients. She hated symposiums and for obvious reasons she hated this one more. Seattle was a six hour flight and she had brought a lot of her files with her, hoping that she could concentrate enough on them to not let her mind wander too far where it would have been pointless to go. But she was barely seated in the plane when she had already felt sad and alone. Three days. Without him… _Oh c'mon Lisa! As if it were the first time you'd be away from him! What is wrong with you? Three days, it's just nothing, it's even less than the required time to recover from the flue!...Yeah_… _she was not good at metaphors, obviously… and so not convincing_ she had thought, glancing through the window just as the plane was taking off. She had sighed and opened the first file she had fished out of her briefcase. One step after another: first get herself busy for the 6 hour flight, then she'd figure out something for the rest of her stay.

The thing while flying towards the west was that instead of _spending_ time you're usually _gaining_ some and had she not taken a late flight, she would have been really disappointed with that time zone irony. Fortunately when she had arrived at her hotel, it was already late evening in Seattle and, as she was really exhausted because of the long trip and all work stuff she had taken care of in the plane, she had just fallen asleep quite immediately after having taken a quick shower to refresh herself. That's how, without even thinking about it, she had spent her first night without him.

The next morning, a little jetlagged, she had woken up one hour early and when she had glanced at the clock she had felt quite puzzled. It was only 5.30 am and outside the sun hadn't even risen yet. Her eyes had just popped opened, and in the darkness of her hotel room, she had stared at the ceiling hoping for sleep to come and take her until her scheduled waking hour. But the more she had tried to relax, the least her body had actually been able to give in to the sensation of falling asleep. And then her mind had started to wander and created images that, far from unwinding her had begun to unnerve her instead. Just above her face, she had seen his. He was about to lean down to her neck just like would do when he wanted to rub his stubble onto her skin and scratch her a little but caress her at the same time. The image was so vivid that it soon had turned into a tickling sensation and she had realized she was stretching her neck into the emptiness, and had even caught herself clutching her fingers at the edge of the sheet. Out of breath and completely dumbfounded, she had slowly loosened her grab and rested her head down on the pillow. Was this a dream or a nightmare? Either way, it was not fulfilling at all and it had almost brought up tears into her eyes. _You're stupid. And if you want to know how desperately stupid you are, just think about how he would find this completely pathetic. So don't be ridiculous while he's probably not even realized that you had left yet!_

She had annoyingly bitten her upper lip, almost leaving teeth marks on it and she had spread the sheets out in an angry distressed gesture. Then once uncovered, she had sat down in the king size bed and had glanced at the clock again, which was taunting her with a 5.50am. She had looked around, breathed long deep breaths to calm down and had finally resignedly stepped out of bed to get ready. The symposium was taking place in one of the reception rooms of the hotel. At 6.45am she was already downstairs, dressed and ready for the day, striding along the hall, alone since the opening, which was starting with a welcoming breakfast was only scheduled at 7.30. That's how her first day had begun. Then when all the leading medical experts had started to arrive she had felt a slight release of some of the tension. Maybe she could find some interest in this after all. Maybe the whole purpose of those pompous gatherings was not just about selling new medical solutions for rich sick people anxious to test the latest drug on the market; maybe it could also be about bringing new hope for helpless cases. Whatever it was, she would focus on every word that would be said all through the day and set her mind on nothing other than this.

At lunch break, she was feeling less demoralized which was a paradox, considering that all the speeches she had listened to with great attention were not really optimistic. Hormonal disorders in children and even infants never lead to a promising future and all those sad evocations of endless treatments and life constraints for children who shouldn't have to care for anything should have been harsh to stomach. But she was used to this, whereas the feeling that had hit her in the morning was one of which she was quite unaccustomed to. And there was nothing that could perturb her more than to feel trapped in an unknown territory. She would rather focus on things she knew how to master than risk being taken aback by unusual feelings like she had been earlier.

She was picking some food from the buffet and filling her plate, her mind relieved of his haunting image, thinking about the afternoon program when she heard a voice calling her.

"Lisa? Lisa Cuddy is that you?"

She turned around and saw a man, in his early forties, coming right towards her with a much determined pace. She squinted at him and finally just when he reached her she exclaimed.

"Bill! Bill Russell! Wow! It's been…?" She wide-opened her eyes quizzically, and genuinely smiled at him.

They both had attended the same Med School and as far as she could remember him, Bill was a nice guy, passionate in molecular chemistry. At that time he was claiming he would work in a lab, no matter how low the salary would be, because medicine should only be about saving lives and he, with his talents in research, would find a cure for H.I.V. He was the shy and likeable kind of guy that every girl appreciated having as a friend. Cuddy didn't remember him much though because she hadn't spent a lot of times having fun back then, and she hadn't many friends either. She had concentrated completely on the final goal: becoming a doctor, and brilliantly succeed in reaching that goal. Which she had…

"Yeah, I know," He grinned back at her, "but don't say it or I might feel another white hair growing on my head!"

She smiled and took a pause to discreetly study him. He was pretty tall with chestnut brown hair and green eyes. He was wearing a black suit with a light grey shirt and a silk garnet tie, highlighting his figure. He was freshly shaved and an undoubtedly refined man with good demeanors.

"What are you doing here? Are you attending the symposium? I didn't see you this morning?" Cuddy said, engaging in the conversation.

"I was there, but I was hidden in the back of the room." He chuckled. "I'm due to make a speech tomorrow morning about thyrotropin receptor as the primary antigens in Graves' Disease."

"Wow!" She exclaimed genuinely impressed. "That's great! And where do you work?"

"MGH."

"So you're in Boston!" She said with a smile.

"Not since a long time though. I was in San Francisco until last year but then…" He looked down, almost with self-consciousness "nasty divorce… you know how things go."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Cuddy answered, embarrassed.

"That's ok. Circle of life, I guess. But what about you? "

"I'm at Princeton Plainsboro."

"Which department?"

"Dean of Medicine." Cuddy answered, straightening herself up proudly.

"Hmm! Dean of Medicine! That's quite an achievement!" He said nodding and looking impressed

"No… it's not a big deal" She giggled, trying to sound detached, but she slightly wiggled in content. Then suddenly, out of the blue she heard _his _voice in her ear, teasing her about being an administrator, and she narrowed her eyes defiantly. "Though it's not _only_ about administrating. It's not always easy and it's quite time-consuming but I like it"

Bill Russell looked at Lisa Cuddy and smiled. She hadn't really changed after all those years. She was still that confident woman who seemed to never doubt herself. And she was still damn sexy, maybe even more now. She had this undeniable womanly attractiveness. She was quite glowing.

"Wow! Tell me your secret!"

"What secret?"

"How you do that: dealing with both your personal and professional life at the same time must be hard sometimes"

Cuddy's face imperceptibly clouded over at the evocation of the subject but she immediately tried to hide it with a soft smile. But Bill was not a stupid man and he noticed it nonetheless.

"Nasty divorce too?" He asked sounding concerned but with a little sparkle of interest lightening his eyes: she was quite eye-catching but if she was also unattached, then he knew how he would want to spend his evening…

Cuddy didn't catch that look. Most unexpectedly, Bill's question had caused her an irrational sadness, as the appraisal of how complicated and hurt her past life had been suddenly hit her. No she wasn't divorced; because she had no husband to divorce from. Not now, not before. And she had no children either. For a split second, she was saddened by the memory of Joy's loss and looked away. But she had her job, and her hospital and that was already satisfying enough for her. She told Bill about that with a slight disenchanted voice, which lied about the fulfilling part of it.

"So no husband… not even someone?" Bill insisted with a philanderer smile: he sure wouldn't let such an opportunity slip by if there was one. The more he looked at her, the more he found her beautiful and exciting. And this woman's suit she was wearing was really enhancing her curves…

Cuddy didn't understand the real purpose of the question and although she was not naïve, she didn't really pay attention to this little seducing game Bill was trying to play with her either. Her mind was all focused on the answer. Was it too soon to say that she was _with_ someone? And if she did, and then Bill asked about who it was, could she say his name, his job, their professional bond, their past? That was too awkward and complicated and embarrassing and maybe it was also the easy deflecting solution to avoid asking _herself_ the question…

"No, there's no one." She finally answered, raising her head to him and smiling.

_Good,_ Bill thought and he smiled back at her thinking he really had made a good choice finally accepting to go to this symposium, instead of staying in Boston alone and miserable in his recently-become-bachelor-again apartment.

The lunch break soon was over. Bill had asked Lisa if he could sit next to her for the rest of the day. After all, he had said, they could both join their loneliness and that way, enjoy the afternoon better. Cuddy had thought he was talking about professional matters and had found the idea a good one: if she had someone with her, maybe her mind would wander less and she would be able to focus. They had sat in a corner of the room and Cuddy had gathered the notes she had taken in the morning on her seat's table. She had offhandedly crossed her legs and it had revealed a small part of her thigh just above the knee cap. Bill had gazed at her legs then back at her and had smiled. She had felt puzzled but had thought she surely had misinterpreted this conspicuous look.

Unfortunately, the rest of the afternoon proved her wrong in so many ways, she ended up wishing she had avoided him in the first place. First Bill had attempted to lean down to her to whisper meaningless and distracting things and the more he had done that, the closer to her face he had leaned and she had hated the feeling of having her personal space invaded like that. He was so close sometimes, she could smell his aftershave scent and she didn't like it. Then he had started to make comments about how difficult it must be for her to be a woman at the head of a hospital but he had added that, with beautiful eyes like hers, he had no doubt about the fact that all the male doctors there should be willing to let her do her job without showing any resistance. She had barely believed he had actually implied what he was saying but as if it was not already unsubtle enough, he had then added some innuendos about how she was really managing to bring them all to heel and had she not be in the middle of a medical conference in a room full of honorable brilliant doctors, she certainly would have slapped his boor face.

And of course, that's when she had thought about _him;_ and back to the time, before anything concrete had even started between the two of them. She couldn't remember the countless times he had made some sexual innuendos about her breasts or her butt and how he could find really creative new words to describe her outfits. He, and his bawdiness, and the way he was staring so shamelessly at her body, conspicuously enjoying every part of it, leaning in toward her cleavage, not even bothering to talk to her right in the eyes. She had thought about _him_, licking his lollipop and coming so close to her she remembered that she had wondered many times if they were going to kiss. And somehow, objectively, he hadn't been more subtle than Bill was at that very moment, sometimes even less. And he had said things to her that could have made her blush or really get angry, but she never had. Because it was _him_. No matter how far over the line he could go, it never had bothered her because she wanted _him_ to do this. She wanted _him_ to notice her and pay attention to her body. She wanted to be his center of attention. Not any other man's attention, just _his_. She would pretend to get offended and he would pretend to be a jerk but there, between them, in those moments, there was actually a real subtlety: they had spoken many unspoken words through this little courtship display of them. And she didn't care about how sad or wrong or twisted it could sound. She had loved every second of it… and she was missing it. She wanted to be with himand let him whisper naughty arousing things in her ear. God! How she was missing _him_…

At the end of the afternoon, when the day was over and everyone was leaving the conference room to get ready for their evening, gathering in small groups and making some plans, Cuddy hurried up to go back in her room. She wanted to take a shower and above all she wanted to be alone and get rid of Bill. But he followed her outside and she was forced to stop in the hallway before she could get her room key back.

"What are you doing tonight?" He asked.

"I… umm…" She stammered.

"You and I could have dinner together. I know a place where…"

"No, thank you. I'm tired. I'd rather have dinner in my room." She answered trying to cut him short.

"Oh come on Lisa!" He teased "What's wrong with this? We're far away from home. We should have some fun! We're alone like two lost souls who need comfort…"

"Maybe _you_ are alone and need to have fun," Cuddy started, fighting hard against the infuriating feeling that was shaking her insides, "but the truth is I don't."

"What do you mean you don't? Oh really, I don't believe you!" He exclaimed, winking lecherously at her.

She took a step forwards and for the last time, or so she promised herself, she allowed herself to be close to him. She raised her face to his and stared at him.

"I'm sorry Bill but the truth is I haven't been completely honest with you earlier" She started trying to set her voice on a calm tone. "Because actually, I'm seeing someone…"

Bill made an incredulous face and widened in eyes in disbelief but before he had the time to say anything, Cuddy added:

"And it's serious. Now if you'll excuse me, I am really tired. Good night. But, I'm looking forward to listening to your speech tomorrow. _That_, should be interesting…"

And she left him, flabbergasted, in the middle of the hotel entrance hall.

Once in her room Cuddy ordered a vegetarian dinner to be served in her room. She waited for the room service to bring her her food and then she took a shower. After which, she put on a white cotton short nightie. She sat on the bed and ate, while offhandedly flipping through some fashion magazines. She felt light. And relieved from the awkward weight she had had on her chest since she had left Princeton the day before. She finished her meal and put the tray back on the trolley. It wasn't late but she was tired and she really wanted it to already be the next day. Just one left and she would go back. To him. She slithered under the sheets and turned the light off. In the darkness of her bedroom and the giant emptiness of this unfamiliar king size bed, she closed her eyes but she didn't try to fight the flowing images that came invading her brain. She welcomed them instead and fell asleep with a slight smile on her lips.

* * *

**A/N**

_as always, I hope you've enjoyed this last chapter. in the next one, well I think you very well know what to expect.... since Cuddy has to come back from Seattle at some point, hasn't she?...._

_and THANK YOU, again, but always with unquestioned sincerity, for your kind reviews. _

_I'd like it so much if A LOT MORE of you, readers, would join in and dare to add a little word to express what they feel... so c'mon... don't be shy... I'm harmless!! LOL..........._

_anyway, wherever you are from, at whatever time you're reading this, under whichever sky....... ENJOY LIFE!! ~ maya_


	30. Chapter 30

_HERE IT IS!! this boring symposium thing is finally over! and now it's more than time for Cuddy to come back home..., or wherever... at least somewhere where **someone** is impatiently awaiting her..._

_;-) ... yes... you understood me well..._

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**~~ CHAPTER 30 ~~**

Finally the third day had arrived. And it was the day when she would finally come back. Since, for the last night of her absence, House had crashed at Wilson's, he had followed his timing and had arrived at the hospital very early in the morning. Right from the moment he had stepped into the hospital's walls, he couldn't sit still. He was literally pacing in every direction, impatiently, like a child who couldn't wait any longer to find the gifts under the tree, the morning after Christmas' eve. Wilson's had a busy day with a bunch of dying patients to treat, so he couldn't even count on him to be distracted from the wait. He was all alone with this fizzling feeling that disturbed him beyond reason and he had to deal with it on his own.

Everything was under control with his patient as his team was dealing with all the medical aspects that had to be taken care of. He was not needed and had nothing to keep him occupied. He was alone in his office and there was nothing that seemed to help him bring the right soothing answers to his questions. He didn't know her flight timetable, and it confused him even more, not being able to guess if he could expect her to be here in the morning or in the afternoon… or even, just expect her here at all. What if she'd decided to drive back home from the airport to recover from her trip? At some point in the middle of this excruciating and pointless mind processing, he finally decided to be rational and do something useful. And in order to do that, he knew where he had to go…

He hastily took his cane and walked out of his office, then to the elevator and down to the ground floor where he naturally ended in the clinic. He almost sighed in relief when he stood in the middle of the hall, surrounded by patients to whom he didn't even give a glance. He walked straight to the nurse's station and grabbed a handful of lollipops in the jar. He unwrapped one and looking childishly at the nurse, he conspicuously slid it in his mouth while putting the extra ones in his pocket. Then quietly smiling, he headed towards Warren's desk.

When he saw him, Warren immediately and inexplicably felt uneasy. It was as if he could see trouble walking right to him within the shape of a limping man… and a beaming one too. He felt even more puzzled at the sight of Dr. House grinning widely to him like that. He didn't know him very well but it hadn't required him a lot of time to find out that House was not the smiling nice kind of doctor. So, seeing him like this was quite unusual and he wondered what could have caused him to be in such a joyful state of mind.

House arrived at his desk and without a warning, he sat on the corner of it.

"Hey Warren!" He exclaimed in a carefree tone, "How are you this beautiful morning?"

Warren didn't want to lose time trying to understand the real purposes of this most unexpectedly warm hello, but he knew there must have been something lying under it.

"Dr. Cuddy is not here." He answered quite immediately with his most dismissing tone, wanting to let him know that he was not ready to be tricked that easily again, if all this was about planning some weird and unnecessary break in to her office, like it had been the last time he had seen him.

- "You know Warren, you're completely right! "House answered, still smiling and sucking his lollipop loudly, "And that's exactly why I'm here."

Warren raised an eyebrow, intrigued by this early spontaneous confession.

"I need to know when she's coming back."

"She's coming back today." Warren answered carefully, trying to guess where this was going.

House took a long breath, mentally ordering himself to hold his sarcasm back. A slightly annoyed smirk flickered on his lips that he however soon managed to turn back into a friendly grin.

"I know she is Warren. But what I don't know is _when…_ so I figured that since you're her… assistant… or whatever… that's something _**you**_, on the other hand, would certainly be well informed of, am I right?" He leaned down and popped the lollipop out of his mouth in a loud sucking noise.

"You mean you're not willing to enter into her office?" Warren asked hesitantly, unconsciously pouting like a naive child who would have needed to have confirmation that Santa Claus really existed.

House rolled his eyes and sent him his famous "Duh?!" face.

"Warren, Warren!!" He exclaimed, leaning again towards him "Why would I want to go in her office if she isn't even here?"

He had asked that question as if it was the dumbest and the most improbable thing he could have ever planned on doing. He glanced at Warren's desk and noticed his note-pad. He took it and searched for a pen.

"Here's what," He said, writing something on the sheet of paper and handing it over to Warren, "that, is my beeper number. I want you to give me a call when Dr. Cuddy comes back. It's very important. We're talking about saving lives issues here, if you know what I mean. So I really need you to do this. Warren, do you understand me?"

Warren was somehow so relieved that it could turn out to be so easy to get rid of him and above all, that it wouldn't involve any opening office door processes, that he took the sheet, with a broad smile on his face, and nodded his approval.

"Certainly Dr. House," He answered, "you can count on me: I will call you when Dr. Cuddy is back."

"_As soon as_ she is." House clarified, narrowing his eyes, adding just the slight necessary threatening intonation to his voice.

"As soon as she arrives, of course." Warren repeated docilely.

House hopped away from the desk and gave him a plain satisfied smile.

"Very good Warren," He said, "you're really turning out to be a very useful assistant you know. And I'm sure Dr. Cuddy has already acknowledged that by herself."

Warren smiled proudly and his eyes sparkled with self-satisfaction.

_God! This child is so naïve_ House thought, turning away to leave. _I think I like him!_

Now knowing that he had found his solution, all there was left to do was the waiting. House returned in his office and sat at his desk, on which he put his beeper right on the middle of its surface and stared at it, hoping it would make it ring. But as it didn't, he tried to find other occupations. He played games on his computer, and then threw his giant red and grey tennis ball in the air for a while. He couldn't help fidgeting on his chair but he tried to wait as patiently as it was possible for him to do. Around eleven a.m., his beeper started to vibrate and he grabbed it, his heart racing in his chest. He read the message and smiled. Then with an incredible outburst of energy, he pulled himself out of his chair, took his cane and determinedly walked towards the clinic.

He passed by Warren and gave him a thumbs up, and then he headed to her office. He took a deep breath when he put his hand on the doorknob and he stormed inside. He hastily closed the door behind him, pushed the lock and in a train of quick and mastered gestures, he pulled all the wooden blind's cords to shut them. Then he turned to face her and smiled at the sight of her, sitting behind her desk, just as beautiful as he had hoped she would be. She raised her head and saw him standing at the door.

"House! It's you!" She exclaimed with a mingled feeling of surprise and great joy of seeing him after the three long days she'd just spent far away from him. "What do you want?"

He strode across her office, straight to her desk, which he walked around to come close to her and he grabbed her by her wrists to make her stand up. When she did, he tugged her into him and seized her by the waist to hold her tight against him.

"I want you." He said throatily, almost growling.

She opened her mouth to answer something and he took advantage of it to bend over and he thirstily kissed her. He thrust his tongue inside her mouth and the urgency of his kiss sent her all in a flutter. She almost lost her balance but he firmly held her and after the first effect of surprise, she relaxed in his arms and gave in to his kiss. When he broke away from her lips, breathing fast and heavy, she looked at him, with her lips wet and her eyes glistening.

"House, what are you doi…"

"Shhh!" He said leaning down in her neck and blowing inside her ear. "Don't say a word!"

Saying this, he seized her by the hips and made her turn around to sit on the desk. Then he hiked up her skirt and started to climb up to her panties. She gasped and seized both his arms in her hands, trying hard to pull them down.

"House! Are you crazy?"

But he freed himself from her grab and placed one hand on the small of her back to pull her into him. With his other hand, he covered her mouth to shush her and he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.

"Lisa… Pleeeeease" He moaned hoarsely.

She couldn't tell if it was because he had called her by her first name or because of the way he had so longingly begged her, or the combination of both, but she suddenly felt completely dizzy, as a giant wave of lust invaded her whole body and almost made her faint. His hand still on her mouth, he straightened up a little to look at her, and in her eyes he read she was willing to yield and let go of herself.

"Don't worry," He whispered, bending over again to her ear, "I locked the door."

He brushed her mouth with his hand, slowly sliding it down to her chin. She opened her mouth and gaped and he glided his hand lower. She inclined her head back to offer him her neck and he stroked her windpipe with his palm, stopping at the hem of her shirt's collar. She arched her back and grabbed his shoulders. She gasped even louder, feeling completely aroused and turned on and she swayed in his arms to come closer to the edge of the desk. He nuzzled her nape and gently rubbed his stubble on her skin, nibbling her earlobe.

"How was your symposium?" He whispered in her neck, short of breath.

"I thought I wasn't allowed to talk." She answered in a lustful sigh, stretching her neck higher.

He straightened himself up and looked at her in pure bliss.

"You're right. I don't give a shit about your symposium. I just want to have hot wild sex with you. Right now. On your desk."

She promptly adjusted herself, frowned at him and sent him a disapproving look.

"You're not serious, are you?" She exclaimed.

Her Dean of Medicine's mind perfectly knew what a bad unreasonable idea it was; but on the other hand, the woman in her really had a hard time convincing him or herself that it was inappropriate because… it had been three days… and she wanted this as strongly as he wanted it too. House didn't fail to decipher that signal in her gaze, as it clearly was the only one he was waiting for.

"Ohh yes, I'm deadly serious! and you know you want this too, you naughty woman administrator!," He said assertively, "stop protesting and let me do this."

He pulled her shirt out of her skirt and slid his hand under the cloth to caress her back. When she felt his touch on her skin, her hips violently bucked forwards and she seized his shirt-tails to yank him into her. He toppled but he grabbed hold on her and jubilantly gazed into her eyes. He came close to her face and took her mouth, nibbling her lips and tickling them with the tip of his tongue, while he reached out for her shirt buttons and undid them one by one, without a glance for his hands. After he'd undone the last button, he spread the tails open and leaned down to kiss her collarbone, placing both hands on her waist. Then he climbed back up to her face, trailing his lips in her neck and he slid to the side, rubbing his jaw on her cheek.

"I've been thinking about you," He whispered, blowing warm breaths on her skin. "I've been thinking about you day and night."

He drew aside a little and saw she was staring at him with an incredulous but terribly happily astonished look. He sent her a mischievous gaze and without a warning, suddenly cupped her breasts in the palm of his hands. Her mouth dropped open in surprise and he beamed at her.

"I mean not about _you,_" He said with a teasing voice, leaning down to her chest, "I was talking about the girls." He gently pulled down one of her bra's strap along her shoulder to free a breast and he brushed it with his lips. "Has mommy been nice with you? Did she cover you decently or did you catch a cold in the draft of her wide-opened cleavage?

He tickled her nipple with the tip of his thumb, causing it to become erect under his stroke.

"Hah, see!" House exclaimed playfully, "This one looks completely frozen to me!"

He bent over to take it in his mouth and Cuddy giggled in delight. She felt a delicious wave of pleasure running around her shoulders and going down her spine. She stealthily thought about Bill and how loutish he had been with her, whereas what she was now feeling just at the sight of House boyishly nestling his face between her breasts was indescribable. Yes, he was an unconventional man, even an unconventional lover, but it felt so right. She felt her desire for him filling her entire body so strongly that she almost ached at the sensation.

"Oh Greg…" She blew in a long yearning sigh, cupping his face in her hands to pull him back to her level.

He straightened up to look at her and suddenly there was no banter and childish game anymore in his eyes. She was holding his face in her hands and she saw a man full of desire too, staring intensely at her. Holding it back was no longer possible and she sensed every inch of her body crying out for him to take her. She let her fingers glide on his skin and entangled them behind his neck, longingly staring in his deep ocean blue eyes, imploring him to satisfy her now violent lust with an incredibly yearning gaze. At her compelling signal, and without taking his eyes off her, he put his hands on her thighs and he slid them under her skirt, up to her groin, searching for her panties. She wiggled impatiently until he finally seized them and promptly took them off. He tossed them on the desk and hiked up her skirt a little higher uncovering her legs completely. He placed his hands back on her thighs, caressing them until he covered her knee caps and gently pressed his palms onto them to spread her legs open. He stepped in between and with one arm he grabbed her by the waist to tug her closer against him. Her hands still around his neck, she leaned forwards and kissed him, softly at first, just brushing her closed lips on his, while down against her lower bare abdomen she felt his other hand reaching for his jeans' zipper. She felt his engorged shaft on her skin just for a few second before he promptly and avidly entered inside her.

The sensation made them gasped in sync into each other's open mouth, through their joined lips. Their kiss began to be more violent and urging, their tongue dancing inside their mouth and quenching their desire within a sensual dance. House pressed both his hands on the small of her back firmly preventing her from slithering backward on the desk and he started to shove powerfully into her to penetrate her deeply, liberating a raw and brutal passion in each of his thrust. Cuddy arched her sylphlike curves and threw her hips bodily into his manhood. She parted from the kiss, feeling the need to gasp for air and she grasped his back, holding forcefully onto him. She threw her head back and started to moan, in a longing and shameless whisper. House nose-dived in her neck and breathed heavily along her windpipe, rubbing his lips on her skin.

"Your smell…" He growled throatily, short of breath, filling the wave of pleasure taking possession of all his senses.

Cuddy gaped at the sound of his voice, echoing inside her neck. She tightened her grasp and stretched her neck even higher.

"Your kiss…" She sighed almost inaudibly, closing her eyes.

House slid lower and buried his face in her cleavage and Cuddy leaned back, placing her hands on the desk behind her back to offer her chest completely to his kisses. While thirstily kissing the round and smooth skin of her breasts that was escaping from her bra's cups, he possessively grabbed her ass cheeks and made her hips' angle change a little, which allowed him to penetrate her better and he continued to thrust inside her, faster and deeper, feeling the upcoming wave of desire soon about to carry him away. Cuddy knew he was about to come. She recognized the signals his body was sending her and she allowed herself to let go in his arms, giving in to the shivers and waiting for the spasms and the dizziness to take her with him. A violent orgasm struck them both at the same time and House wrapped his arms around her waist and squeezed her tight against him to hold onto her while his spine quivered, causing his hips to shudder erratically and thrust into her a few more times, unable to tame the wave that had invaded their body, leaving them panting in awe.

They waited until the sensation subside a little and they were both finally able to rest still in each other's arms. Cuddy straightened herself up and she gently caressed his hair, nuzzling his neck, still trying to catch her breath. House slowly withdrew from her and relaxed his arms around her waist. He then leaned down to her ear and nibbled her earlobe.

"You called me Greg." He said all of a sudden, with his teasing voice back.

Cuddy felt another kind of shiver slowly pervading her.

"You called me Lisa." She answered, without missing a beat.

House straightened and peered into her eyes.

"You've missed me. Like crazy!" He stated, with a mischievous smile.

"You mean _**you**_'ve missed me, like crazy!" She replied, a large grin forming on her lips.

"Yeah. I mean, one of us is sure right!" He said, pulling her back in his arms and kissing her behind her ear.

"Or both…" She whispered.

"Both? Of us… right?" He chuckled "Tss! Where did you get the silly idea that it could be something even remotely possible?"

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**A/N**

_and so that was it... ;-) I hope you've liked it! please DON'T BE SHY and TELL ME!! yes YOU.... and YOU.... and silent readers.... don't hide anymore... _

_especially since, next week, I probably won't be able to update as often as I am now... because I'm leaving for business matter in a place where I won't have neither time, nor the proper required technology to access the internet freely... _

_I'm not saying I won't, but only that it will be difficult... that's why I need you to MOTIVATE me!! LOL..._

_and until the moment when we meet again with a new chapter, ENJOY LIFE! ~ maya_


	31. Chapter 31

_here's the NEW CHAPTER!! where little steps are being made... even if the "essential" is not being said... _

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****~~ CHAPTER 31 ~~**

Neither Cuddy nor House could think straight after what had happened in her office. That uncontrollable burst of desire had obviously been a burst of something else but it was too much for them to deal with. They had stared at each other in silence not really knowing what to say, while a slight, almost imperceptible, moment of awkwardness had settled between them just right after. On Cuddy's face, House could see all the heat and the emotions showing through a beautiful pink blush and he had looked at her, almost aching with the need of holding her against him and the desire of spending the rest of the day just feeling her body next to his. No word, just her warmth along his warmth, her scent floating in the air and the smoothness of her skin under his fingers. _Are you sick?_ _Sex is a physical thing. You had it now, but it was just a need because it's been three days and you wanted that, now stop being sappy and walk out of here!_ An angry voice had cried out inside his head. But in his brain and in his heart, another stronger sensation was trying to express itself and he had to struggle to shut down that male yet logical inner voice he was used to listen to. _Because it's logical, right? So stop staring at her with those craving eyes! You look like a moron…_ And he had bit his lips to repress the odd feeling that was literally trying to take away his common sense and forcing him to name the disturbing but powerful feeling that was flowing in his veins. He knew _it_ had to come, and he knew that if it had to, she really was the one for whom he could let it out, again. But he was just scared to death to relive that. He was scared to death that he could have lost the strength to be involved.

Cuddy was still short of breath and while she was staring at House, she couldn't believe she had let go of herself like that. In the intensity of her gaze on him, there were thousands of questions; questions for which she was desperately searching to have answers. It had happened so fast and now, she was standing in front of him, just a few steps away and just looking at him, she couldn't repress the desire to do it again. She wanted to feel him inside her then wrap her legs around his body and let him take her away where she would be dizzy but feel so good. She had never been that wild and carefree with a man before. No one else had the power to bring out this side of her the way he did. Except that having sex on her desk in the middle of the day while there were so many people out there, working, was not something she was used to. _Oh my god, have you lost your mind? This is so wrong. Why would you do that? You should be ashamed of yourself!_ A rational voice had whispered inside her mind. Yet, the second she had seen him walked towards her in her office, a part of her had wanted it. And she had shamelessly enjoyed every moment of it. _But this is wrong, right? How can't you see how inappropriate that was?_ And she had lowered her gaze. The silence, the desire, the guilt, his frivolity, her commitment, the silence… It hurt her. She knew she would have had to fight against _it_, because she knew he was the only one for whom she could make the effort to wait, longer. But she was scared to death to have to wait for nothing. She was scared to death she could have lost the strength to deal with suffering again.

She was looking at her feet and she saw his shadow on her. She lifted her face and he cupped her cheeks in his hands. She shivered under his touch and he simply leaned down to her and placed a smooth tender kiss on her lips. Cuddy looked at him deep in the eyes. Sometimes, like in this very moment, it was like she could see an open path to his soul and heart and almost be able to read through it. What was there was all that she needed to hear. But she never got to hear it _for real_.

"I assume that staying here whole day long and just have sex on each and every furniture of your office is not an option?" He suddenly said in a bantering tone that surprised her a little.

"House! Don't be ridiculous!" She answered with her Dean of Medicine's voice.

"Too bad!" He commented, grinning "Because you have lots of furniture here, so that's a lot of sex you're giving up on, you know. You sure you don't want me to stay?"

She slightly set her lips in bitterness and just kept looking at him in silent. Finally, House brushed her cheek with the back of his hand and took a step backwards.

"I think I'm gonna go now." He said his voice unexpectedly hoarse and low.

Cuddy felt a sudden gush of emotions filling her. She bit her bottom lip and stared at him, begging him with her emerald eyes.

_Talk to me! Please, say it feels good being here with me. Say you l…ike me. _

_Stop staring at me like this! You're making it impossible for me to leave, while you know all I want to do is stay here with you. _

_How much did you miss me? Did you think about me like I thought about you?_

_You're driving me crazy. Sooner or later, I'm going to make the wrong medical diagnosis because of you, because I can't focus and this is all your fault._

_I don't care if you're a social misfit. I don't care that you're pushing away people. As long as you're keeping me with you._

_I never needed a woman like I need you. You make me want to stop pretending. You take away the doubts and bring answers to me. _

_Don't hide. Please show me what you feel._

_Don't play games. Please don't hurt me._

"Yes. You're right. You'd better go. People are going to wonder where you've been!"

House sheepishly smiled. He knew nobody would question his absence. But he couldn't stay. He had to go treat his patient and let her do her job. He sighed and gave her one last long stare.

"You want me to come to your place tonight?" She asked with a shy hesitant face.

He shrugged but genuinely smiled.

"Sure! Why not!"

Then still smiling, he started to walk towards the exit. He unlocked the door and was about to turned the knob to open it when he heard her call his name. He stopped but didn't turn around.

"House! Give me back my panties…" She said, trying hard to sound upset and serious but barely managing to hide the amused tone in her voice.

He waited just a few seconds with his head tilted backward and finally turned around to face her with a mischievous grin. She raised her chin and stretched out her arm with open hand, and palm upwards in a "give it now!" impatient gesture. He beamed wider and without taking his eyes off of her, he searched in his jacket's pocket. He fished out the panties and tossed them in her direction across the room. She promptly caught them and still staring at him she couldn't help but blush a little when she read all the images his eyes were sending her.

"Ah too bad! Because I was really hoping for the moment when you'd have come begging me in my office for me to give them back. And you know I have a desk too or a gigantic conference table if you prefer…"

"and very transparent glass walls too."

"Hah! So that means you actually thought about it."

Cuddy's mouth dropped open and House chuckled at his own joke. He grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. She looked at him limping out of her office, her panties rolled in a tiny ball of cloth that she was squeezing inside her hand.

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On the ground floor, House was waiting for the elevator door to open when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Are you just coming from outside?" The voice said, with this so specific bemused tone House could have recognized it among any other ones.

"Oh give me a break!" He answered, not even bothering to turn to face his inquisitor, "You know I'm not. You've dragged me here this morning at dawn."

"Exactly. But your office is on the fourth floor. So you being here can only mean two things: either you've been in the clinic, devotedly treating patients all morning, which just being phrased already sounds wrong… OR you've disappeared all morning and now you're trying to sneak casually back in, hoping no one would notice. And since, everyone knows, you voluntarily doing clinic hours is not a rational explanation, that means…"

The elevator arrived and the door opened with a "ding". House turned around and widened his eyes at Wilson, pacing backward to enter inside the elevator where he hastily pressed the '4' button, naïvely hoping that the door would close before his friend would be able to hop in. Wilson shook his head and stepped inside too. They were alone but Wilson stood, with hands crossed in front of his thighs, just near House, staring blankly at the ceiling with a slight pout on his mouth. As soon as the elevator started to go up, he turned to face House and put his hands on his hips, waiting. House stubbornly glanced in every other directions but his friend's, until he was no longer able to ignore his presence and decided to face him. He smiled ironically and took a deep breath, knowing that it would be faster and easier if he spontaneously gave Wilson a hint, instead of letting him drag this out of him with his annoying meddling questioning technique.

"You forgot about the third option." House finally said, greeting him with his "_don't play the moron with me_" face.

Wilson's mouth dropped opened and he smiled devilishly at his friend.

"She's back." He simply stated, nodding with a knowing look on his face. "You came down to see her?"

House looked away. The fact that he was accepting to let Wilson guess about where he really was didn't mean he also agreed to give any further details. Wilson narrowed his eyes quizzically to study his friend. Everything that was unusual about House, like him right now, not even making the slightest deflecting joke about Cuddy being back, was telling something. And this very particular "something" was not meaningless.

"So?" He asked, his curiosity irrepressibly aroused by the real reasons of his friend's little trip to the ground floor, "How did things go for her in Seattle?"

House couldn't repress a smile. He didn't actually have a clue about how things had gone for her in Seattle. The truth was they didn't really have time to talk about her trip but that definitely wasn't something he could tell to Wilson.

"Why are you smiling?" Wilson asked him a little perplexed.

Quite at the same time the elevator arrived at the fourth floor and as soon as the door opened, House stepped outside and started to stride towards his office, leaving Wilson rooted to his spot, looking at him fleeing away, visibly to avoid the conversation. _Another proof, if any was needed_, Wilson thought, _that House had something to hide_. Wilson's curiosity was one of his weaknesses. He had never tried to hide it or pretend it wasn't. That's why, once gone the first effect of surprise, he hastily caught up with House in the hallway and walked alongside him all the way to his office, where he entered just after his friend, who didn't even try to stop him. House walked directly to his desk and sat on his chair. He slouched down and stared at Wilson, with a teasing smile, which was saying "_Try me, you're never going to know!_" But Wilson, not in the least bit impressed, narrowed his eyes instead, searching for the right efficient strategy which could help him discover his friend's dirty little secret. Because, as a little inner voice was telling him, with a smile like that and an allegedly confidence like that, everything was a loud proof of his friend's feelings; something he was quite sure House would have mulishly tried to refute and deny. But Wilson was no fool: no matter how hard House would try to pretend the opposite, no matter how convincing he would want his deflecting jokes to sound, Wilson knew he'd had a hard time while she was away and that was it. Because he had witnessed his friend's struggle to push back the irrepressible malaise he had experienced during Cuddy's absence and when House was battling to fight against himself like that, it always was a huge proof of the significance of it. It meant something. Now she was back and Wilson told himself that House had felt a compelling urge to see her. He hadn't been able to resist that childish need and now he was embarrassed to confess it to his friend. And the fact that he was now catching House deliberately trying to hide this so natural reaction touched Wilson's helplessly romantic spirit. He tilted his head to the side and looked at House amused. But he thought he had seen enough and he felt there was no need to push his friend too far, too fast. Just maybe a little boyish joke, which they would have both appreciated without making any further comment, the kind that would have evoked innuendos so unlikely to happen that it would have been Wilson's way of saying "_I know you care and you don't want to talk about it so I'm not going to force you to._"

"I won't ask you about how good the getting together was," he carelessly started to tease, "since your unbuckled belt and crookedly buttoned shirt are already speaking for it loud and clear…"

This most unexpected joke took House completely by surprise. He promptly straightened himself up in his chair and instinctively put his hand on his jeans to check his belt, which of course was perfectly buckled up; but it was already too late when he realized he had reacted out of a reckless fear of being unmasked. He puffed, caught red-handed, almost confessing 'it' within this embarrassed weird gesture. Wilson widened his eyes, completely astonished, not even believing what he had understood _this_ could really mean.

"You…" He exclaimed, pointing his finger at House "Oh my God! You didn't… for _real_?... did you?"

House sighed and shook his head, an appalled pout on his face.

"You know you're not actually sane." He said in a low voice, trying to avoid Wilson's inquisitive stare.

"Of course that's me!" Wilson exclaimed, raising his hands in the air, amazed by his friend's nerve. "You did it! In the hospital! With your boss! Right in the middle of the day! And I'm the one being insane? House… this is big."

"What's 'big'? What do you mean? What is this crazy crap you've come up with now?" House replied theatrically, to fight the awkwardness and find a way out of this big trouble he had just put himself into.

Because now that Wilson knew, he would never hear the end of it. He could already tell that by the way Wilson was staring at him, like he would have stared at a dead man rising up from his coffin. And it was becoming a little annoying.

"Oh come on, get a grip already! We didn't make it in the middle of the crowded clinic. We locked ourselves up and I can swear to your prude shocked puritan mind that nobody saw us!

Wilson ignored the comment and came closer to the desk, leaning on his friend.

"In her office?" He asked nonchalantly but with a look on his face betraying how hard he was trying to chase the image out of his mind but was unable to nonetheless.

"If you're asking for details I'm sorry to disappoint you but you won't get any." House promptly dismissed the subject but a slight smile flickered on his lips at the evocation of it.

Wilson caught the satisfied look and paused, eager to find out all the hidden truths that were lying under.

"You seemed…" He started, but he stopped and studied his friend, searching for the right word, though not really knowing which one to choose.

House joined his hands on his chest with his fingers crossed and raised his eyebrows, waiting to hear his friend tell him how exactly he looked like, already getting ready to snap the perfect snarky answer to him.

"I don't know…" Wilson carried on, "I could say _happy_, if I wasn't already sure you'd pretend such word doesn't exist for real…"

"You're never gonna leave me alone with this, are you?" House sighed resignedly with a disenchanted smile.

"House! Nothing's wrong with wanting to be happy! Maybe you're not used to that feeling because it's new, but you know it's there. And it's because of…"

"…the tight skirts she's wearing that show off her round a$s" House completed with a mischievous smile.

"Her!" Wilson corrected, shaking his head. "Have you spoken to her about how you feel?"

"Yeah, I don't need to spell it out for you but I think she already pretty much understood how I felt earlier in her office."

"House! That's not what I'm talking about!" Wilson frowned in disapproval. "She obviously matters to you…"

"How could it be possible? Her job is to make my life miserable."

"You know I'm not talking about her as the Dean of Medicine…"

"But being the Dean of Medicine is part of who she is."

"It doesn't mean she will automatically make your life miserable."

"It doesn't mean she won't."

The friendly teasing was over. Wilson could clearly see a real honest concern in House's eyes, the slight remaining trace of an unspoken doubt that seemed to prevent him from placing high hopes in something he was still struggling to acknowledge. He looked away and a short silence settled in the office, suddenly interrupted by the sound of a clearing throat. House glanced towards his office door and immediately, just by the change of look on his face, Wilson guessed it was _her_, without even turning around to confirm he was right. He saw his friend stiffening as if he had received an electric shock and for a second, it seemed she was the only one existing in the room. But it was just a glimpse and soon enough, without forewarning, House's usual undecipherable face was back. Wilson turned around and saw her approaching.

"I swear, the panties were the only thing I took! And I've already given them back to you!" House exclaimed out of the blue.

Wilson saw Cuddy freeze with a flabbergasted look on her face. She had barely the time to pull herself together and she met Wilson's gaze. He caught a glimpse of embarrassment and felt like an unwelcome guest, especially now that he knew House's sassy comment was probably... _Oh God! He didn't want to know!_ He flashed a shy supportive smile at her and started to make his way towards the exit.

"Lisa, it's really nice to see you back. Hope you had a nice trip in Seattle. Sorry, gotta go! Catch up with you later…" He reeled off pacing backward toward the door. Just before leaving, he gave her a last friendly smile then he glared at House who was watching him go unemotionally, and he stepped outside.

House looked at his silhouette vanishing behind the glass wall with a slight smirk and then he turned to face her and his face immediately enlightened with a broad grin.

"You lock the door and I take care of the blind?" He provoked her, with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

She was standing right in front of him and she took a sharp breath, closing her eyes to brush his comment aside. It was useless anyway to spend her energy on trying to make him understand how inappropriate it was to make this kind of allusion now, not even mentioning the one in Wilson's presence. At the same time, no matter how twisted she surely was for thinking that but, his childish bluntness made her melt. This, among other crazy things, only he could do to make her go wild.

"What's this?" She asked, holding out a document in front of him.

House narrowed his eyes and smiled playfully.

"Hmm, from here, I'd say… a sheet of paper."

"It's the list of tests you've ordered on your patient these last three days." She simply said with a look of satisfaction on her face.

House sighed, guessing where this was leading.

"So?"

"So?" She chuckled "You're wondering why I'm asking you about that? House this is dozens of useless tests. Ones only an unsure true beginner would order just to be sure he has correctly diagnosed a cold."

"You can never be too sure." House replied, sustaining her gaze, but with a defeated pout nonetheless.

"No. It's not like you House!"

"You don't know that."

"I do!" She exclaimed, "Usually you would rather try the cure before you've tested to confirm the diagnosis. And THIS, it's…" She stopped and looked at him with a fond smile.

"What? It's what?" He gushed.

"A proof." She added, unable to hide how truly touched it made her feel.

"What proof?"

"That you were lost without me." She stated victoriously. "You just ordered pointless tests because I wasn't here to challenge you for the risky solutions you would have normally wanted to test. Because you need me."

House had listened to her with his eyes wide opened in bewilderment. _Gee! How he liked that!_ She was so right but that also meant she couldn't know she was. That was part of their game. Part of what made them be who they were together. Part of what made him feel how he felt in that very moment, looking at her so proudly smiling at him. Part of what scared him and prevented him from naming what it was. There were so many different feelings involved. He couldn't talk about them. He couldn't say them out loud. But at the same time, it didn't mean he couldn't feel them. Cuddy came closer and leaned down towards him creating a dangerous promiscuity that accelerated his breath. She placed the sheet in front of him on the desk and kept her hand on top of it, using it to help her keep her balance while she bent further down to whisper an inch away from his face.

"All these tests, they cost a lot of money. Money you spent on this hospital's budget for no reason. And now you owe me. So you better start thinking about how many clinic hours you're gonna have to do to pay them back to me."

He stared intensely at her without saying a word. She gave him a sexy smile and slightly touched his cheek with her fingertips. Then she turned her heels and left his office with a confident sway of the hips, which he fully enjoyed until she was no longer at sight.

* * *

**A/N**

_Hi EVERYONE! I'm back... and very happy to be... :-)_

_I've missed reading your comments... And I was happy and touched to see you had left reviews while I was away!_

_so I want to say a huge and sincere _**THANK YOU**_ to every one of you who cares for this story! I really appreciate that you take time to go here and express your feelings about it! _

_and I hope you liked this new chapter! _

_have a nice day! ~ maya_


	32. Chapter 32

_NEW CHAPTER! where you'll find out that when it comes to House, you can never take the easy way... on the contrary, it has to be a long, long winding road, full of pitfalls... _

_and I hope you still like it like that..._

* * *

**CHAPTER 32**

It was past eight already. House had left the hospital a couple of hours ago. He hadn't seen her during the afternoon but she had said she would come and he was waiting for her. Impatiently. He was glancing at his watch every two minutes, heavily sighing each time he noticed so few minutes has gone by since the last time he checked, because she still wasn't there. And he was dying to call her but he forbad himself to do such a needy begging thing that would only make him look miserable and silly. He tried to sit at his piano instead, to let the music relax him but it didn't work. So he poured himself a glass of bourbon and slowly drank it one sip after the other until he finally heard a knock on his door. At the sound of it, his heartbeats started to accelerate in his chest and he limped at his fastest pace to the door, sensing it was her, knowing it was her. When he opened the door he saw her standing there, holding boxes of Chinese take-out food, a broad grin on her face.

"I brought us dinner. Chinese." She said, "Hoped you'd provide the beer."

"What were you doing?" He asked her provokingly, blocking the door entry with his arm "It's almost nine."

"Yes I know," She replied nonchalantly, "so what? I went to my place to change my clothes."

He conspicuously looked her over from head to foot, with his head tilted to the side. She was casually dressed with a low cut stone washed jeans and a close-fitting light pink tee-shirt which was enhancing her curves underneath a black woman suit jacket. She was simply gorgeous, but he wanted to take time, and tease her, make her wait a little longer at her doorstep.

"I liked how you were dressed today. That was fine."

"Yeah, sure! You didn't even pay attention to my clothes." She answered chuckling.

"Black high heel shoes, white-striped black skirt on bare legs, white shirt and… the part I really liked… red lacy underwear." He enumerated, staring into her wide opened, astonished blue eyes.

She stared back at him, without saying a word and sighed in pleasure almost carried away by the sense of belonging he had just made her feel. But she found the strength to escape his enthralling gaze and gently pushed his arm with hers.

"Ok, so you still can memorize things. Your brain is not fried. That's amazing!" She teased, "But right now I'm hungry. So are you going to let me in, or what?" She quickly glanced at him and suddenly, took advantage of him being slightly distracted to slide under his arms and made her way inside.

Still standing at the opened door, he studied her and how she made herself at ease in his place. It was a very strange feeling but actually he had to admit he liked it! His eyes followed her as she went straight to the coffee table and placed the food boxes on it. And he liked it when she took her jacket off and casually threw it on the armchair. And he loved the way she plopped down into the sofa and put her legs crossed on the table. Then, as she had disappeared behind the couch's back, he could only picture her stretching her neck and tilting her head in his direction, but he loved the way she sounded when she called him back in:

"Are you getting us some beer or are you going to stand at the door until the food has become cold?"

She amazed him; with her confidence; with her casualness; with the way she so naturally commanded him. That's why he couldn't resist her. She just had to ask and he would comply. He felt a slight shiver of desire running through his spine just at the thought that she was back, in every sense of the word. She was here, for him, belonging to him. The night had just begun and it was all theirs.

He closed the door and walked towards her but went past the couch and headed to his kitchen. In the fridge he took out two beers, hesitated as to whether he should bring glasses or not but he didn't and went back into the living room, with the two bottles in his hand. He handed one over to her. She took it and uncapped it, looking at him with a smile. She brought the bottle up to her mouth and took a sip while he approached the couch and sat next to her. She bent over to the table to put the bottle of beer down. She grabbed a box of food and slid back down in the couch.

"Eat!" She ordered

He peered at her ravenously.

"The food, not me!" She added a big smile forming on her lips.

"I'll grant you two or three pieces and then I am no longer responsible for anything!"

She shook her head and took a mouthful of food. He narrowed his eyes and took a short pause to scrutinize her, and then he reached out for a box of food too. And they ate and drank their beer, sitting on his couch, glancing at each other, feeling relaxed but not really aware of it. When they had finished, House stood up and took the empty boxes to put them in the trashcan in the kitchen. Cuddy wanted to get up too but he told her to relax and wait for him. While he was in the kitchen, she looked around her, at all his stuff. The books, the medical reviews, the CD's, the paintings on the wall, and his piano… the guitars. He was everywhere in this apartment. House came out of the kitchen and walked towards her.

"You know I can play the guitar?" Cuddy said to him, squinting at the ones hanging against the wall.

"You're kiddin' right?" He said, taking back his place next to her.

"No. Some student taught me how to in Med School."

"Uh? Some student taught you? So that's what you were doing in Med School? Learning the guitar with _some student_? No wonder you're such a lousy doctor!" He teased.

"Maybe, but eventually I outran you, because now I'm your boss."

"You really like this "being my boss" thing, don't you?

"Sorry if I am, but I was just making a statement."

"Oo, who's so touchy?! I'm just teasing you…"

"You're mean." She pouted.

"No I'm not." He exclaimed, suddenly standing up again.

He walked to the wall where his guitar was hanging and took it off the hook, then he walked back to her and handed her the instrument.

"Look, I'm letting you play with my sacred _thing_ that no one else can usually touch." He said with a broad grin, obviously enjoying his little innuendo.

She looked at him and smiled but didn't take the instrument, not yet deciding to cave.

"You're going to mock me." She said still pouting.

"No I'm not, I swear." He answered repressing a chuckle.

She finally took the guitar and straightened up on the sofa so she could hold the instrument properly. Then suddenly serious and really concentrating, she placed her fingers on the strings solemnly and started to play the first chords. He couldn't help wincing but looked at her with a tender smile and teasingly asked:

"What's that? 'Psycho' original soundtrack?"

"No, it's "_Knockin' On Heaven's Door._" She answered very seriously, preparing her hand for the next chord. She was unconsciously biting her bottom lips and she looked just irresistible to him.

"_Knockin' On Heaven's Door."_ He repeated to himself and he had to take a deep breath to keep from bursting into hysterical laughter.

He bent over her and gently took the guitar out of her hands.

"Give me this, you lousy player! ... I'm so sorry, Muddy." He added, conspicuously whispering to the guitar.

"Ok," She said, faking to be upset,"so I'm a lousy doctor, I'm a lousy guitar player…"

He cautiously put the guitar down against the sofa's armrest and fell next to her, grabbing her by the waist and diving his face in her neck.

"But I know something you're not lousy at…" He murmured inside her ear.

"Really, and what's that?" She asked stretching her neck to give in to the caress of his lips.

"Come here," He answered pulling her tighter, "I'll explain."

"Yeah sure! 'Cause I'm lousy at guessing games too!"

And she just burst into a hoarse laughter. He came closer and nuzzled her nape. With the sensation of his lips on her skin, she tilted her head back, and he kissed her more greedily, his hands starting to make their way under her tee-shirt.

"Why did you learn to play the guitar?" She asked, a little short of breath while he was kissing her collarbone.

"Don't know." He replied in a low voice, breathing against her skin, "But I know I scored a lot of babes back in high school thanks to Muddy here"

"Like who?"

"You don't want to talk about that." He mumbled, nibbling her earlobe

"Why not?" She insisted, pushing him away a little, "It's in the past. I don't mind talking about "_the babes"_ you scored. On the contrary I'd love to hear about Greg House's list of conquests"

"Ok then. Let's say that _I_ don't want to talk about that."

She took a deep breath and gently pushed him away again to extricate herself from his embrace.

"You never talk about you. And it's never the right moment." She started a little unnerved.

"Yeah my point exactly," He said, not aware of how upset she was becoming and ignoring her remark, "because now it's definitely not the right moment to talk."

"Stop!" She looked at him angrily and pushed him away for the third time, but this time firmly.

"Ok!" He sighed, annoyed and straightening up to look at her "What is it? It's your 'Aunt Flo', or what? 'cause then if it is, that'll be easier to tell me."

She shook her head, bemused and looked away to hide her hurt.

"Now wait a minute here…" He added, "this is not your 'Aunt Flo', this morning we… and anyway it's not until at least ten days because…"

She sighed heavily and turned her head back to face him.

"Stop it please." She said with a voice that betrayed a little sadness, "this has nothing to do with my cycle, my ovulation, my hormones or whatever rational medical explanation you want to cling on to to justify this. It's just an emotion. I just want to know about you, your childhood, your friends, your lousy memories. There's nothing wrong with that. Why can't you give me that? Why can't you just open up a little?"

It was House's turn to look away, painfully avoiding her gaze. He bit his bottom lips and she clearly saw he was struggling against this.

"Why do you care about my childhood?" He suddenly answered with a shaken voice that spoke about the brutal memories her questions had most inappropriately brought back.

_Why did she have to do this now? Why now, in this perfect moment? What did she have to ruin everything? Why would she want to know things that didn't matter? Why couldn't she enjoy the present?_

_Why couldn't he give her something of himself, instead of always hiding behind a mask? Why was it so difficult to just let go a little and be himself, deeply? Why did he always have to be mean when he felt hurt? _

She sighed and looked at him without answering. It was unnecessary and they both knew that. He had crossed a line, again. And yet, she knew perfectly well it wasn't to intentionally hurt her. She knew he didn't mean to do her harm. She knew it was just a reflex, to protect himself, against himself. Against parts of himself that he didn't want to let her have access to. She bit her lips in disappointment and sadness. She couldn't do that. Not anymore, not eternally, not tonight. She had just asked for him to open a small breach through which he would have allowed her to look and instead he had pushed her back. And now, he was staring at her, intensely, staring and begging with his confused eyes. But she couldn't. She stood up and took her jacket off the armrest. He gulped and kept on staring at her following her every movement, still silent. She held the jacket in her hands and stood in front of him, looking down at him hoping for a sign, something, but he looked down at his feet and stubbornly remained silent. And his silence was not against her, it was the punishment he was already inflicting on himself, for having hurt her and she knew it and felt even sadder that he could be able to build pain upon pain just to avoid facing something he didn't understand or couldn't control. She felt a twinge of sorrow shaking her inside. And she felt her heart aching for him. She wanted to be with him, help him but there was nothing she could do, now, here.

She gave one long last stare at him, completely closed up in front of her, locked in his painful world, and she silently left his apartment.

* * *

**A/N**

_Hi everyone!_

_today I only have one thing to say (actually 3 words, to be precise): SEASON 6 PREMIERE! :-)_

_God, I am SO excited..._

_have a NICE day! ~ maya_

_ps: and for what it's worth, "good vibes and positive thoughts" for HL at the Emmy right now..._


	33. Chapter 33

_NEW CHAPTER! __Hope you'll enjoy it..._

* * *

**CHAPTER 33**

The sound of the closing door jolted House back to reality. He looked around him and the emptiness of the room just hit him right in the heart. Unable to repress it, he let out a hoarse moan that came out of the depth of his throat and hurt him even more when he heard the sound of his own uncontrollable pain echoing into space.

It was excruciating and he wasn't used to that; because it was not like a physical pain. That, he knew how to deal with, because at least he was familiar with it. But the feeling that was overtaking him now was utterly distressful. It mingled everything he had tried to deny almost his entire life: admitting he could be hurt and confessing he might need others.

For some reasons, he always had tried to pretend he was this genius misfit who was better off alone. So few people were allowed inside his world, because so few people were interesting enough for him to pay attention. And to him, so few people were worth caring for. Of course, he always "cared" for his patients, his patients' health, that is. And the fact that he was able to cure people who, without him, could have died, was important. But it was not important because of the "human" part of it. Anyway, that was how he had convinced his brain to think for so many years. What was important there, was that he had the solution. He knew. Each of his medical case was nothing more than a battle against doubt and hesitation. And it was a battle he had always won.

Without really being aware of it, he stood up and took his bottle of bourbon, his old faithful friend. He poured himself a full glass and with the bottle still in his hand he sat back on his couch. And he drank, while thoughts started to run inside his mind. Where did his life go? What has he done with it? Was it all worth it? Loneliness as a comfortable hiding place, far away from people, far away from the obligation of being involved?

Because this time…

_Screw people! I don't need anyone! I don't want anyone… You can only count on yourself and that's all. You should never lower your guard or trust anyone with your heart._

Because this time… there was her…

_Screw her! She demands and she orders and she wants to control you but you're not her pet. You're nobody's pet. You want NO leash._

There was her… and she was soft and tender and patient…

_You just want her because she's hot. You just like to "do" her. You don't need her or the way she makes you feel when she's here. It's just good because the sex is good._

She was soft and tender and patient… and she didn't want to change him…

_Every woman wants to change every man._

She didn't want to change him… She just wanted a connection with him. And it felt safe and right to let her in.

_What if you couldn't change? What if you're hemmed in by this unemotional protecting world you've created?_

It felt safe and right to let her in… but she deserved so much better than him…

How many drinks had he drunk? He didn't know. But he was now high, dizzy, unsure and fragile. And in his alcohol blurred mind, he was paradoxically seeing clearly. He was an ass. She, in his life, was the most unquestionable steady element there was. She had always been there. Always. Through everything he had gone through. Whatever feeling he had felt, or state of mind he had been in: happy, vulnerable, strong, mean, hurting, messy, angry, doubtful. She had never let him down. She had always waited, never pushed him, and always held a hand out for him. And he was the biggest stupid jerk the earth had ever carried to not see that he needed her. To be there.

His vision was all fuzzy and he didn't realize that tears were gathering in his eyes. He looked at his hand, the one which was holding his now empty glass of alcohol. Then he glanced at the bottle of bourbon and, as a tear silently rolled down his cheek, he saw his guitar, leaned against the sofa's armrest. He bent to put the glass back on the coffee table and took his guitar, bringing its feminine curve against him, clinging to it and squeezing it tight. He closed his eyes, remembering her when she had held it, so touchingly trying to show him she could play music. Trying to connect with him. And he had pushed her away. He clenched his fits then suddenly, he stood up and grabbed the instrument case. In a stumbling but determined pace he walked to his door and hurried outside, into the the night, where he could yet see a faint light guiding him towards the darkness.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

She had cried. All the way back to her place, she had driven through the blurring vision of her tears. She was in pain, and the saddest part of it was that her heart was aching for him the most. Because no matter how strong the pain he made her feel could be she would always think about him first; about how she could make _him_ feel better. And what she had just done was maybe too much, too soon but she had a reason to do it. She had known him for so long she certainly didn't need to plague him with discomforting questions. But now it was different. They had had a physical connection. They had slept together. And not just once. Not just out of an irrational surge, soon forgotten the day after. They've somehow decided to be where they were now. None of them had dragged the other to some shadow place where he would refuse to be. _She_ would never drag him where he would refuse to be. She didn't want to push him, or make him feel trapped.

That was the reason why she had left. She knew he had to be alone. This was a journey he needed to make on his own. She would never want to be with him if he wouldn't want it too. _Being with him_ now couldn't just mean having sex, not anymore. He had to accept her in his life too, let her in. And she knew this certainly might be the scariest thing for him, because since his infarction no one had ever been allowed to be close to him, and share… anything that could speak about who he really was, how he really felt, what he really feared. She was the only woman who had been that near. And Hell! There had to be a reason! She knew it. But she had taken a risk, huge and scary because she might have lost him over this big gamble. As strongly as she had convinced herself it was the right thing to do, there still was a real valid chance that he could not make that step. That's why she had cried all the way back to her house, hoping she had been right and thinking about him. Thinking about how much she would have wanted to be with him, in his arms, instead of here, crying in her car, driving away from him.

But tears didn't even take her pain away. They didn't soothe the feeling of deprivation she had felt in that moment, without him. Somehow, because she needed him so much despite everything, she had wished it hadn't mattered. She had wished she could have had the strength to stay and pretend she didn't need more. Just take what he had to give. But she couldn't. Where was the point in moving forwards to the next level if it was for things to remain the same? Because after twenty years, she knew deep inside her they were not just each other's wimp. So she really had something to save. She really had something to believe in.

When she arrived at her place, her eyes were dried, but they were swollen and red. She was exhausted and she needed the numbness of sleep to soothe her confused feelings. She went to her bedroom and undressed herself mechanically. She slipped into a nightie then slid inside her king size empty bed and shivered when the sensation of the cold sheet reached her bare skin. She curled up in a ball and clenched her fists, cursing herself, while she desperately fought back the irrepressible stream of tears that started to flow again, rolled on her cheeks and wet her pillow until she finally fell asleep.

Her muscles were relaxed and her grip on the sheet had loosened and she was deep in sleep, when her brain slowly began to bring her back to the surface of consciousness, sending sounding signals in her ears, coming from a far, far distance at first, then closer and closer, until it made her wriggle in her bed and moan. The sudden agitation of her body and the sound of her own sighs awoke her and she blinked to adjust her sight to the semi darkness of her room. Indistinctively, she heard something coming from outside her window and she forced herself to stay still in her bed to catch the sound of it better and try to identify what it was.

It was the sound of a guitar.

And along with the guitar, the sound of someone… singing.

I'm a man  
I spell "M"… "A" child… "N"  
That represents MAN!  
No "B"! ... "O" child… "Y"  
That mean mannish boy

She narrowed her eyes to focus on the voice and she bit her lips when her pounding heart indisputably told her whose it was.

I'm a man  
I'm a full grown man  
I'm a man  
I'm a natural born lover man

A fond smile formed on her lips which she simply couldn't repress because he was singing so forcefully and so convincingly under her window, it made her want to jump out of her bed and run to him. But she was riveted to her mattress, unable to move, her eyes wide opened and her breath taken away.

I'm a man  
I'm a rollin' stone  
I'm a man  
I'm a hoochie coochie man

It was indescribable: how those simple blues notes echoing in the night made her feel. She didn't know the song and she didn't care, because it was his choice. So undeniably his choice! This music, the lyrics, the longing voice, longing but demanding voice at the same time: it was him.

Sittin' on the outside, just me and my mate  
You know I'm made to move you honey,  
come up two hours late  
Wasn't that a man  
I spell "M"… "A" child… "N"

But at some point, despite the long and almost painful waves of pleasure that were running through her body and taking her common sense away, she suddenly realized it was the middle of the night and that at this late hour, she probably was the only one who could possibly be touched that much by this unconventionally romantic blues complaint. She remembered she had neighbors that would rather sleep at 2am like any normal persons would do, than share this incredible yet becoming slightly uncomfortable moment with her. She took a deep breath and she stepped out of the bed walking cautiously to the window to open it.

Was it because he finally saw her silhouette approaching and had the confirmation he needed, but before she had time to open the window he started to sing louder, shouting into the darkness with his neck stretched towards her.

I'm a rollin' stone  
Man-child  
I'm a hoochie coochie man  
The line I shoot will never miss  
When I make love to a woman,  
she can't resist

She sighed and closed her eyes, taking a short pause to chase the smile that was forming on her lips and then she put her hand on the window handle to open it.

"Lisa Cuddy! I rode here to you, you Heartless Woman! Who took my peace, my sleep and ... my peace!" He suddenly shouted out, "You can't leave me and Muddy standing outside like that " And he started to sing again

I'm a man-child  
I'm a hoochie coochie man  
well, well, well, well  
hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry  
Don't hurt me, don't hurt me child  
don't hurt me, don't hurt, don't hurt me child

She opened the window and squinted at him suspiciously.

"Have you been drinking?" She asked, trying hard to sound more shocked than helplessly won over.

He immediately stopped singing and looked at her with lost puppy eyes.

"Maybe I had one or two drinks…But it only helped me to see…"

"See what?" She inquired, her arms gripping both sides of the opened window.

"Joanna!" He yelled spreading his arms open towards her, his guitar hanging at the end of his right arm, dangerously swaying in his hand.

Cuddy's mouth dropped opened in shock and she frowned at his nonsense, not anymore seduced by that stupid game he was playing, which rules she didn't know.

"Joanna," He repeated with begging eyes, "she was one of the babes I scored in high school. And the first who really broke my heart. Then there was Caitlin…"

He stopped out of breath and, gripping his guitar, he stumbled up to her window's edge and clang on to it with his free hand.

"Cuddy," He whispered, suddenly quiet and sounding like he had sobered up, "do you really need me to list them all? What will it take to make you open your door to me?" He smiled sheepishly and held his guitar up. "Do you want me to sing another song to you?"

He stared at her and determinedly positioned his guitar against him, his thumb ready to scrape the strings. She tried to glare angrily at him but was unable to, her gaze already softening and telling she was ready to cave.

"No! Shhh, don't! Do you have any idea what time it is. You can't play or sing…"

"You didn't like my song?" He pouted, with a mischievous grin on his childish, stubborn, sulky, selfish, unnerving face.

A face to which Cuddy was completely unable to resist. She let out a heavy sigh of defeat. A defeat she was more than willing to concede.

"Meet me at the door." She just said, "I'll be right there."

The instant unhidden relief she saw in his gaze shook her to the core. She closed the window and just for one second, through the thin net curtains, she watched him turn away and walk to her front door. And then she practically ran to it herself, completely incapable to contain the sudden irrational desire she felt rising inside her.

When she arrived at the door, she clutched the knob and took a deep breath to calm down before she opened it. He was there, breathless too, standing in front of her with his guitar along his thigh. They stared at each other, silent and still, as if they were both petrified, both terrified of what would happen if one should make a step forward. She drew aside the door frame, her hand still on the knob to let him in. He walked inside, and his eyes still locked with hers, he gently put his guitar on the floor, leaning it against the wall.

She was breathing fast and heavy and the intensity of his gaze on her commanded her to not move. She bit her lips and her hand released her grab on the door knob, making a faint metallic sound that broke the silence between them. He imperceptibly widened his eyes, questioning hers and she slightly leaned her shoulder towards. And suddenly, as if they've given each other a sign, he took a step forwards, closing the small distance that was only still separating them and she arched just at the very second when he abruptly threw his arms around her, seizing her firmly and possessively holding her against him. He buried his face in her neck and he groaned like an animal, uncontrollable spasms shuddering his body. She felt his teeth biting her skin and his wide-opened mouth swallowing her ear, her cheek, and her lips. She threw her head back and gave in to the violence of his desire.

"Don't do this to me again," he sighed between his ravenous kisses, "don't do this to me again."

She tightened her grasp around his neck and when she heard the begging sound of his voice, it stabbed her right in the chest causing her to feel a pain so full of lust and resolved angst that it almost gave her an orgasm.

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**A/N**

_the song in this chapter is **"Mannish Boy" - by the bluesman Muddy Waters** (just for the record, he's HL's favorite musician)_

_you can listen to the song on YouTube (entering the name of Muddy Waters in the search area, or using this - end of a link - as an URL_ .com/watch?v=w5IOou6qN1o)

_what else? oh yes!! Today's the season premiere... AHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! this is SO good!_

_however, I really hope you'll still have the time and courage to leave me a comment if you stop by... ;-)_

_**THANK YOU** TO EVERYONE FOR THEIR KIND REVIEWS..._

_to Cosette16: no this is not the end... we've just barely reached the middle of the story, and I mean, of the ALREADY WRITTEN part of the story, because I haven't finish to write it yet!!............ _


	34. Chapter 34

_Hi everybody: here's the NEW CHAPTER! _

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****CHAPTER 34**

She raised herself on her tiptoes to cling on to him tighter. If she could, she would have enveloped his whole body with her arms, wrapped him in her warmth and comfort him. And yet, she was the one who needed to be soothed and cherished. She was the one who needed his tender attention. But crazy as it might, she was feeling guilty because of his harsh painful begging pray and pangs of emotions came invading her chest and pushed her closer to him. She pressed her body against his and lifted her face up to his face. He looked so sad. All she could think of to bring him some peace was to smile at him, reassuringly. She cupped his face in her hands, intensely staring in his lost blue eyes. He moaned and she stretched her neck to bring her lips on his lips, her hands still cradling his face. He grabbed her wrists and squeezed them both in his hands as if they were the only lifebelts he had left to save him from collapsing in a wreck. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

"Lisa," he breathed just an inch away from her lips, "let me come inside. Please"

She suddenly realized they hadn't moved and were still standing at her entrance door. He let go of her wrists and she gently caressed his stubble. She took his hand and brought it up to her lips. She laid a soft kiss inside his palm and entangled her fingers with his. She then walked towards her bedroom and pulled him with her.

- "Come!" She whispered.

He followed her silently. At the end of the hallway, she turned around to face him with the sudden urge to share a kiss. She just wanted to feel powerfully and unreasonably possessed by him again. She stared at him longingly and huddled up against him. He read in her body language and he seized her, placing his hands on her waist to pull her upward, and he picked her up the floor. She rested her forearms on his shoulders and she leaned to him with her mouth slightly opened. He kissed her soothingly, but she demanded more of him with her tongue. She thirstily entered in his mouth and sucked his bottom lip. He put her back down on the ground and she pushed herself against him. His hands slid from her hips to the small of her back and he enveloped her in his arms. She felt his warm breath inside her mouth. He tasted like Bourbon malt, but she didn't care. She was aroused and she gripped him strongly and rubbed herself against his hips, in a sway that was clearly designed to turn him on and make him surrender to her. But he seemed to resist to her yearning touch and at the climax of their lustful kiss, he however suddenly pushed her out of his mouth and set his lips. She cupped his face to draw him to her again but she felt he was clenching his jaws and she heard a painful struggling moan coming from deep down his throat. He seized her by the hips and he pushed her pelvis away from his.

"We don't need to have sex, if you don't want to. I know you want to talk and God! I swear it has to be right here, right now, because if you push me down that road, I don't know if I'd be able to say anything coherent after."

She stopped each of her yearning body movement at the same time and freeze, to stare at him quizzically.

"You're drunk," she stated provokingly, "but you want me. Don't deny it."

"No I'm not and I don't... deny it," he added mischievously, "but what about Joanna? And Caitlin? And Helen? And Susan? and…"

"Stop it!" She ordered with a grin, smacking him on the shoulder, "You don't have to name them all…" She lowered her gaze and sheepishly whispered "I don't want to know about them all."

His mouth dropped open in surprise, but immediately turned into a fond smile and he couldn't suppress it from his face while he peered into her turquoise grey eyes. He wrapped one arm around her waist and pulled her into him, all his senses awakening again.

"You little minx! YOU told me…"

She looked up at him, with innocent eyes and snuggled up to him even more. He chuckled and squeezed her against him stronger.

"Women don't know what they want" He stated, with a laugh.

"You came here." She said, defending herself, "You sang. You've told me about those girls..."

"I've told you nothing!" He exclaimed.

"I don't demand you to tell me all at once."

"You don't want to know how far I went with them?" He provoked with a mischievous smile "I thought _you_ of all women would want to hear about how great the sex was with the other ones before."

She barely faked to be shocked.

"How would I…it…it's" She stammered.

"Don't worry," He whispered, leaning down to her ear, "even back then, you were, by far, number one!" and he teasingly bit her lobe.

"How would you know?" She inquired, pouting like an annoyed child, trying to hide the glow of pleasure that was spreading on her face. "You were so drunk you woke up and called me _Angie_."

He took a quick step back and squinted at her.

"ho-ho-ho! Nah… YOU were drunk." He tantalized, "You were SO damn loaded, you couldn't dress up on your own and I had to help you! And, truth is, I never called you Angie…"

"Yes you did! You called me…"

"Angel," He rectified in a hoarse voice. "I called you _Angel_. But you had disappeared before I had time to phrase the last syllable correctly."

"That's not true! I… You…"

She stopped and let out a heavy sigh.

"Where is this all going?" She asked with her voice low and slightly shaky.

He brushed her bottom lip pulp with his fingertip and smiled.

"In your bedroom?" He suggested. "Inside your bed?"

She stared at him and a sorry grin formed on her mouth, soon disappearing to let out a quiet laugh.

"You never get enough of this game, do you?" She observed with no remaining trace of anger or sadness. She just stated it as a fact. An indisputable fact that she couldn't fight, one that had ruled every single moment of their relationship so far.

"Wrong! We can go on playing that little Q/A thing, if you'd rather prefer?"

He was trying. There was no doubt about that. She felt touched and didn't see it coming in the roguishness of his look.

"Yes because, maybe I want to know things about you that you never told me…"

Her heart started to race in anticipation and excitement.

"Oh really? Like what?"

She really wasn't aware of the power she had just given him with that question but she was also very curious about what he would be curious to know about her.

"Like, do you have feelings for me?" He let out, out of the blue.

She was taken aback and caught in her own trap. She felt her breath accelerating but she shamelessly ignored his present tense and raised a perfectly faked confident face to him.

"You mean back in Med School?" She deflected.

She was trying hard to work her way out of this. He saw it and instead of pushing her too far, he pretended he didn't. He just imperceptibly bit his lip and nodded his approval. He almost saw the relief on her face and it slightly hurt him.

"Before or after our one night?"

_After Angel… a long, long time after… now…. Your feelings now…_

She pouted and tilted her head on the side to study the look on his face.

"What?" She said boldly "What did I say?"

_Nothing Angel… you've said nothing…_

She was not going to tell. And it was only fair he didn't insist. Because he wasn't going to tell either. They both stared intensely at each other and tried to speak all the words that wouldn't come out of their mouth through their piercing gaze. Slow steps. One after another. Maybe the day when it'd be the right moment would never come. Maybe they would never have the strength to confess. And yet it was there. In this middle of the night moment, between them, down in her hallway, in front of her bedroom. They both could see it. And in that precise moment, they needed nothing more.

"Relax" He answered "limping cop here says you're free to go… but you must expect to be re-interrogate later, at any time actually…"

"But…!" She acted, with a look of fake surprise "I've done nothing wrong!"

He dived into her light blue eyes.

"No. You've done nothing wrong." He repeated with a serene smile.

A moment of silence floated in the air and for no reason, she suddenly shuddered. He instinctively embraced her to warm her. The sensation of her body next to his sent craving messages to his brain and this time he couldn't control it. He didn't want to. He pressed her firmly against his chest and started to kiss her, more and more avidly each time his lips touched her skin. Desire was coming from deep inside of him like a huge wave commanding to burst out.

"And now?" He blew yearningly along her cheek "Can we go to your room or do I have to take you against the wall?"

The evocation of his raw desire to have her, within the hoarse sound of his voice sent an incredibly pleasuring spasm of delight through her whole body and ended in the depth of her core, contracting her muscles and arching her in anticipation.

"I don't know" She sighed "You're the 'natural born lover' you should know what to do…"

She had barely finished her sentence that he pushed her against the wall. When her back hit the cement she gasped and threw her arms around his neck. He leaned down to her mouth and took her lips avidly. While he was thirstily kissing her, his hands seized the hem of her nightie and, without a warning, he determinedly torn the cloth in two. She froze and he straightened up to look at her. She rested her palms on the wall on both sides of her hips and stared at him back, awestruck, her breasts exposed to his sight.

"Did you just rip off my nightshirt?" She asked, breathless.

"I haven't seen you in three days" He apologized unconvincingly, betraying his bliss within a childish beam.

"Asking me to take it off would have worked just as fine"

"Yes, but then where would the fun be?"

She fondly smiled at him. He reached out his hand and delicately placed his palm on her bare midriff. She gasped when he touched her and bit her bottom lip. He locked his eyes with hers and slowly rubbed her skin up to her left breast, which he cupped in his hand.

"I missed seeing these." He added, looking down at his hand gently massaging the well-rounded flesh of her breast.

"How is this possible? I thought we had sex this morning in my office," She teased him.

"Yes, but you had almost all your clothes on," He stated, now tickling her nipple with the tip of his thumb.

"Ok, so half-dressed sex doesn't count as sex?"

"Are you kidding me?" He exclaimed with a chuckle. "Never underestimate the benefits of a quickie!"

He leaned down in her neck and rubbed his nose in the hollow of her collarbone

"But we're not in a rush anymore," he whispered seriously. "Now, we've got plenty of time"

"Have we?" She answered hoarsely, tipping her head back against the wall.

He wrapped his arms round her waist possessively, pulling her into him.

"I want to see you naked."

"You already are." She said, combing his hair with her fingers and arching her back toward him.

"Don't play with words. I want you naked on your bed. I'm not fucking you in your hallway."

"Nicely said!" She replied in a bantering tone. "You make me feel so special…"

"You're a pain in the ass. You know that, don't you?"

"Shut up!" She moaned, gripping his belt and unbuckling it.

"You really have no clue as to what you want, don't you?" He teased, seizing her hands and moving them away from his pants. "And I said, I want you naked on your bed…"

She stopped fidgeting in his arms and leaned her back on the wall to study him. He smiled roguishly and she squinted at him, intrigued. He freed her hands and as soon as he did, she turned on her heels and walked in her room. He followed her, his eyes ravenously locked on the swinging movement of her ass.

When he entered the room, she already had gotten rid of her shredded nightdress and she was lying naked on her bed, waiting for him. He approached the bed, sat at the edge of it and leaned down to take his shoes and socks off. Then he straightened up and turned his body towards her. She rolled on her side and lifted her up on her elbow. He gave a thorough look at her and she shamelessly let him enjoy every inch of her naked skin in front of him.

"You're beautiful." He whispered, reaching out a hand to her hip, his fingers softly brushing her silk skin down to her thigh.

"Why aren't you getting undressed?"

"… Because…" His voice imperceptibly choked "I want to see _you_ naked. I want to look at you."

She stared intensely at him, without saying a word. His hand went from her thigh up to her hip again and then slid inside the curve of her waist and he seized her, gently pulling her next to him. She slithered to him and sat up straight, snuggling up to him. She nuzzled his neck and breathed deeply to fill her nostrils with his male scent. He smoothly grabbed her by the shoulders and made her move apart. She cupped his cheek with her hand and brought his face next to hers. She stretched her neck and gave him her lips. He leaned and kissed her, lightly pressing his lips on hers, delicately tasting her without entering her mouth. When he broke away from the kiss, she lay back down on the bed. He stood up and remained still, silently looking down at her. His body commanded him to have her, abruptly, but he struggled against this urge and took his time. He wanted to enjoy the sight of her offered body lying here, waiting for him. He wanted to print this image in his memory, remember each detail: the grain of her ivory skin under the smooth light; the perfect round curves of her breasts; the delicate pulp of her opened lips; the quiet up and down movement of her belly; the velvety dark hair hiding the spellbinding promise of her sex.

The silent in her room was absolute, scarcely disturbed by the regular sound of their breathing. They were staring at each other and calling each other out for more with no words. House slowly opened his shirt, one button after the other, his eyes riveted to her. He took it off, and tossed it on the floor. Her breath faintly accelerated and she gaped for air, arching her back at the same time to welcome the wave of pleasure that hit her in her womb. She moaned languorously and slid her hand on her right breast. She rubbed it with her fingertips, causing her nipple to erect under her own caress. He kept staring at her and got rid of his pants. She glanced at his boxers and smiled, acknowledging his desire for her. She closed her eyes and her hand slid from her breast to her belly and down to her crotch. As soon as her fingers delved between her legs, she violently arched her back and squeezed her thighs to capture her hand. At this incredible image of her carried away by the need of pleasuring herself in front of him, House felt his yearning becoming uncontainable. He took his boxers off and fell on his knees next to her. He firmly grabbed her hand and pushed it away from her groin, holding it up in the air. She opened her eyes and smiled, inviting him to give her the pleasure she wanted to have.

"I'll take it from there on." He grunted, short of breath, giving her her smile back.

She opened her thighs a little and he let go of her hand to put his own on her sex. He teased her, only brushing her entry with his fingertips, hardly pressing against the soft folds. She pushed her hips up and spread her legs wider to make him enter deeper. He split her lips and delved his middle finger inside her wet core. She let out a loud gasp of lust and arched her hips higher. He searched for her numb, and pressed the engorged flesh with his thumb, drawing small tickling circles, faster and faster, causing her to moan, louder and louder. His eyes locked with hers, he studied her reaction to every stroke he was given her. The sensation was so intoxicating, she felt the need to cling on to his wrist to control the shuddering waves of her pelvis. Still giving herself completely to his caress, she slithered to come closer to him and she wrapped her free hand round his cock, causing it to swell even more with a violent rush of blood. She tightened her grab around it and felt its pounding beat between her fingers. She began to slowly stroke his hard silky erect shaft inside her palm. The rhythm of the caresses he was given her immediately changed as his own excitement grew bigger into her hand and in response, she accelerated her stroking tempo as well. She started to knead his member stronger, and then freed it to rub his balls. But with no warning, House removed his hand from her wet sex and took hers to push it away from his member. He leaned down and decisively grabbed her to lift her up and make her sit straight.

"Enough foreplay!" He said throatily, sitting at the edge of the bed and pulling her into him.

"You don't like what I'm doing?" She asked, displaying a fake offended pout, while positioning herself on top of him, astride his lap, standing up on her knees.

"I like what you're doing too much," he answered, with accusing eyes. "You're an enthralling dangerous witch, Lisa Cuddy. Sex with you should be forbidden."

"Really? Ok then." She said, smiling and starting to move apart.

He firmly grabbed her and pulled her back into him.

"Don't you dare go anywhere!" He replied, turned-on by her sexy teasing banter. "You have to fuck me first."

"Really?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed with an eagerness in his tone that said a lot about how unable he was to contain his desire any longer.

She grabbed him by his shoulders and slowly slid down until she felt the tip of his cock titillate her wet slit. He wound her in his arms, bringing her breasts against his face and compellingly pushed her down to penetrate her. She arched her back to find the perfect angle and she welcomed him inside her in one quick powerful thrust.

As soon as she felt his warm length completely filling her, she tilted her head back and began to sway her hips back and forth, creating a waving ballet for both their entwined bodies. He let the mesmerizing movement cradled him and tightened his embrace, plunging between her breasts and greedily biting her erect nipple. She bent backwards and put her hands on both his knee caps to stabilize her. He grabbed her ass cheeks and pulled her into his pelvis, to shove deeper inside her. She felt his shaft reaching a spot deep inside of her that made her jolt and arch her back, shudders of pleasure running down her spine.

"Oh Gawd, this is so good!" She gasped yearningly, closing her eyes.

He beamed and possessively brought her back against him. He squeezed her and rubbed in nose inside her neck. She kept on riding him, speeding up her movements and he stroked her back, sending electric impulses in her spine, causing her inner muscles to contract and giving her, them, more pleasure with the tantalizing dance they shared.

"Greg… I'm close." She gaped, biting her bottom lip and gripping his shoulders.

He placed his hands on both sides of her hips and guided her there, deeply thrusting inside her, until the orgasmic quivering wave took control of her body and made her cried out of pleasure in his arms. He tightly wrapped his arms around the small of her back and cradled her sweetly until her last shiver, kissing each inch of her skin he had access to. When her peaceful breath told him she was fulfilled and tranquil, he gently seized her by the waist to lift her up. He then watched her lay back on the bed and slide inside the sheets, then adorably curl up in a ball. He stared at her with glittering eyes and grabbed his injured leg to help him up lay on the bed where he joined her, hurrying himself under the sheets as well. He nuzzled her nape and snuggled up to her, enveloping her inside his arms. She sighed, and let his warmth enfold her, until she fell into a peaceful and stress-free sleep.

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**A/N**

_I'm sorry for the wait between this chapter and the previous one... I've had one hell of a crazy week... luckily for me the so much awaited week-end is FINALLY here! _

_anyway, I hope you're still enjoying the story._

_THANK YOU FOR READING and COMMENTING, THANK YOU TO BE _**HERE**_! :-)_

_Enjoy life ~ maya_

_ps: (to huddles777, about the airing rhythm of House in France) Oh my! If only we could be there already, I mean at season 6 ... one can dream! LOL cuz' here in France, season 5 hasn't been aired yet... and the version they broadcast is dubbed... true nightmare! real voices are SO much better (and sexier! yummy for HL's little lisp and LE's hoarse voice) anyway.... hopefully there're other solutions to be in sync and stay updated... ;)_


	35. Chapter 35

_Hi everyone! NEW CHAPTER IS HERE... or I should say TWO new chapters actually cuz' it seems like chapter 34 totally went unnoticed and this place has become totally EMPTY!!...._

_wow! THIS IS SCARY! :-O... where are you all? Have I fallen into a parallel universe? LOL... anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this one _

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**CHAPTER 35**

"House! Wake up!"

Her voice. In his ear. He thought there couldn't be more beautiful sound to be awakened with. He felt a hand gently pushing him on his shoulder blade. He rolled on his back and his eyes still closed he stretched his arms in front of him to grab her and pull her into him.

"Mmm… you really won't give me one minute's rest, will you?" He muttered, slowly emerging from his sleep "But we can't have sex more than four times a night, you know! At this stage, it's a disease!"

She smacked him on the back of his hand and he opened his eyes. She was standing in front of him, showered and dressed, and she stared at him with a faked dismayed look, betrayed by her genuine fond smile.

"Stop acting like a child bragging about sex you didn't have." She said, frowning, "You snored. All night."

He sat up straight in the bed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"My memory tells me I didn't. At least not _all_ night" He answered, with a devilish smile.

She took a step closer to the edge of the bed and leaned towards him, putting one knee on the mattress. She then gently pinched his cheek and gave him a smack on the lips.

"Yeah, Lady's man, not _all_ night, that's right! First you won me over a silly blues song and then shamelessly took advantage of me. _Once_. And afterwards, you snored." She teased, smiling at him, her chin raised to his face in a conspicuous playful attitude. "But party time is over. Now you got to get up and go to WORK!"

"Oh no, I don't!" He said mischievously, grabbing her and firmly pulling her to him, making her topple in his arms.

She tried to extricate herself from his embrace but he already had his hands under her shirt and his touch irrepressibly started to weaken her resistance. She had unconsciously placed her arms around his shoulders and she was about to give in to his kiss.

"House! Stop…" She protested unpersuasively, while he tickled her earlobe with his lips. "I have to go to work. YOU have to go to work…"

"Your lips say: go to work but your body says: Oh Greg! Take me roughly on the floor now!" He joked, sliding a hand under her skirt, stroking her thigh voluptuously.

She knew he was not really serious and that it was just banter. _Their_ banter; because he had _that_ voice… the one he had when he would just tantalize her and they would play this delightful sexual game that belongs to nobody else but them. But in the end, she perfectly knew he wouldn't prevent her from going. It just felt right, in that very moment, to pretend he could and keep on resisting. It was just good to let go.

"How about my lips saying: if you're not ready in fifteen minutes, you're fired!"

"Uhmm! Threatening blackmail to force me into another quickie. You sure know how to talk to men!"

He had managed to unbutton her shirt almost entirely and the wide opened tails were revealing a slate lacy bra, cupping her round breasts just perfectly. He really could have done it. He really wanted to do it… Instead, he sighed and loosened his grab around her. She repositioned herself a little but stayed in his arms and stared at him. He sent her a mesmerized gaze in return and gently brushed the curvaceous skin of her breasts with the back of his hand.

"You better go." He said with all his burning longing desire contained in the simplicity of these three words.

She bit her lips to hold back the urge of kissing him and stood up. While he intensely peered at her, she buttoned her shirt up again and then tidied herself up.

"Don't fall back asleep as soon as I'm gone." She warned him, with a longing gaze.

"Not a chance! I'm _fully_ awaked now" He replied, smiling knowingly at her.

She pouted sensuously and exaggeratedly sighed in disappointment.

"Aww, all this energy lost over nothing!" She provoked, "Do you think you'll have some left for tonight, old man?"

His mouth dropped opened at her sassy comment and left him speechless long enough for her to turn on her heels and leave the room. Just when she was about to walk out, she heard his voice calling her.

"Is this skirt you're wearing a new one?" He asked out of the blue.

She felt a shiver of pleasure running through her spine. Of course her skirt was new. Of course he had noticed. Yet it would never stop to amaze her how he was the only one who would notice such unimportant little details about her. She turned around at the threshold and smiled.

"Are you making an inventory of my wardrobe?" She said, in a detached tone, not willing to show how touched she was.

"God no!" He exclaimed "I wouldn't have enough memory for that! It's just that I noticed this skirt favorably suits your usually so tubby tush, and it felt like a surreal new sensation."

She narrowed her eyes and nodded her completely fake approval.

"Yeah, sure!" She chuckled and walked out of the room, conspicuously swinging _it_ for him.

When she arrived at the front door, she stopped at the sight of his guitar, leaning against the wall. She closed her eyes for a second and let the memory filled her while a fond smile flickered on her lips. Feeling irrepressibly appealed by the instrument, she leaned down and reached out her hand to touch the strings.

"Don't touch Muddy!" She heard his voice said playfully behind her.

She jumped out of surprise, her heart racing inside her chest. She straightened up and saw him stand naked at her bedroom door, at the other end of the hallway. He was broadly smiling, almost victoriously and totally at ease with his nudity, even taking advantage of it when he sensed she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"You're going to be late" He added, leaning nonchalantly against the door frame and still grinning.

She slightly shook her head as if she needed this little jolt to break the spell and turned her eyes away from him. She grabbed the knob and took a deep breath before she twisted it and opened the door.

"Go get dressed" She said, facing the door to hide her beaming face from him. "I give you one hour to turn up to the hospital. Not one minute more!"

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He showed up at PPTH two hours later. He walked with a proud limp across the entrance hall and toward the desk. There, after he'd greeted the nurse with a loud and cheerful "good morning!" he leaned nonchalantly over the counter to reach out for his mail and glanced throughout the clinic door. She was there, at the nurse station, filling some forms. Maybe she felt his gaze on her because without any particular reason she suddenly lifted her head and looked in his direction. Their eyes met and instantly he beamed like a child in front of a candy store. She frowned and decidedly put her files down, then walked towards him.

"I have no memory of me granting you with the morning off today" She said in her bossy voice, approaching him at the desk.

"Good morning Dr. Cuddy." He answered in a most exaggerated joyful tone "What a lovely outfit you're wearing today! You look like… the hottest Dean of the East coast!"

She widened her eyes out but soon hid her surprise behind a "not at all impressed" face, displaying a faint smile.

"And you look like the latest Doctor of the whole continent."

"Yeah, I worked hard to win that title" He replied, taking a slight step towards her, provoking her a little with this subtle tease.

She shivered but kept up a good front. She raised her chin and engaged in a staring contest with him until she felt he was the one feeling shaken by her intense gaze. She smiled victoriously and turned on her heels.

"How about you just doing your job now" She said walking away "Curing patients… You do remember I'm signing paychecks saying that's what you're supposed to do, right?"

He watched her walk up to the clinic door, swinging her hips determinedly. She loved to have the last word and he loved to watch her love it! He stood there, his eyes riveted to her silhouette, unable to look away. When she arrived at the door, she turned around to push it open with her back, and they locked eyes again for just a few seconds. He narrowed his eyes and gave her a knowing sensual smile saying they would finish this "conversation" later on, outside the hospital doors. She replied with a look of defiance and turned her back to him to enter the clinic. As soon as she disappeared in her office, he sighed heavily and unconsciously shook himself. He turned around to walk to the elevator and meet the nurse's dismayed gaze.

"Gee she's so into me! Do you think I should sue for sexual harassment?" He exclaimed, slightly leaning down to her, as if he was making her a confession.

The nurse opened her mouth in bewilderment but he straightened up and walked away with a broad satisfied smile on his face before she had the chance to say anything, just leaving her there astonished.

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While he was limping into the fourth floor hallway, the memory of the past night brought music back in his mind and he entered in his office singing the song he had sung for her under her window, flippantly humming the words that had won her back.

I'm a hoochie coochie man  
The line I shoot will never miss  
When I make love to a woman,  
she can't resist

He absent-mindedly paced inside and bumped into Cameron who was on her way out.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd freed yourself from my powerful aura two years ago."

"I need some extra help."

"Who doesn't?" He said, smiling.

"I thought your team could work in the E.R today" She said, squinting at him intrigued by his unusual good mood.

"What are you saying 'my team could work in the E.R'? My team is busy. We alrea…"

"Your patient has been discharged early this morning."

"What?!"

He looked surprised but above all, he looked like he had just been caught red-handed, as if it was blatantly obvious he hadn't paid attention to the whole case for quite some time. Cameron smiled genuinely amused by the significance of this little "disconnection"; because it was more than atypical to witness House not being aware of his patient's condition. He usually was always the first to be updated and if he wasn't, he at least did what he had to to get the proper useful information on time. She remembered the conversation Chase, Foreman and her had in the cafeteria days ago about House having a relationship with Cuddy and she studied him closely trying to decipher what could betray this change in him, because she knew he had changed. Like a woman knows that kind of things. She'd noticed it quite immediately by the way he almost didn't limp. By the way he entered his office unaware of the broad smile he was displaying. He didn't even bother to repress this joyful facial expression or hide it behind a sour and bitter scowl like he usually did. Instead, he accepted it. He had "relax" written in capital letters on his forehead and maybe even the beginnings of happiness taking over him.

"Patients do get cured when you're not here, you know." She said studying his reaction.

"Well of course they do!" He exclaimed, looking away to hide the slight embarrassment he was now feeling because of what she's said.

"And you've not been here often lately."

He turned back to face her and smiled a little provokingly.

"Are you spying on me? Counting my working hours? Did Cuddy hire you in her Dean squad to check on doctors' schedule?"

Cameron couldn't repress a smile. He had managed to bring her up in the conversation. She thought it was so obvious why and yet so touching. _She_ really had to be in his every thought. But Cameron knew him and how closed up he could be sometimes when he had decided not to share any of his personal matters with anyone. He had pushed her away once and she remembered well how it felt. But she had grown up. In this past two years, after him, away from him, she had learned how to be another woman, in full bloom, more confident and less needy. She had moved on. Of course House would always be her mentor, her Pygmalion, the man she thought she had once loved. But she had had time to think and she had finally realized these feelings she had felt for him weren't real. It had carried her away in the delusion of love but it wasn't. She just needed to get his full attention, like a little girl wants her daddy to be proud of her. She couldn't stand misery. She had this irrepressible need to fix him and make him happy. And now, she was finally seeing it happening. And it was because of another woman. This very idea that someone other than herself could make House remotely happy didn't even bother her. On the contrary, she felt happy for him and in some way, he felt just to her. She knew, now that she had Chase in her life, the complete opposite to House in character, she knew they would never have made a couple. They weren't a match. But with _her_… it was different. She could acknowledge that now. She could admit some indisputable evidences when she was facing them. She fondly smiled at House and he stared at her with a suspicious look.

"What? What do you have in mind? I can see by the look on your face you're processing about something. Tell me what it is."

"Nothing," she answered quietly, "I'm just happy for you, that's all"

He wide opened his eyes, dumbfounded but soon pulled himself together.

"Of course you're happy! You're like the Judy Garland of medicine in this hospital. You can't help spreading happy hippie silly thoughts all over the place! You know, sometimes I'm almost expecting you to sing instead of talking."

She smiled broader, reassuringly.

"That's funny you said that because I thought I heard _you_ sing when you arrived." She said, not impressed by his deflecting attempt.

"Oh so that's why you figured there is something about me! Because I was singing?! You know I was already sharing my huge musical talents, even in front of an audience, when you were still just a little baby running in dippers"

She would have loved to carry on that conversation with him. It was like she could now learn more about him without even asking than she ever could before, while she had desperately wanted to. But those were nothing else but deflecting efforts and she didn't want to let him win his way out of this. Even if she didn't want to push him either, somehow she wanted him to know that she knew. She wanted to not feel like a little girl anymore. She was standing in front of him and it seemed to her they were on the same level, doctors, coworkers, equals. She was no longer feeling the awkwardness around him. It was time for her to get closure.

"I think you and Cuddy should take that step you had both hesitated to take for so long… or maybe you already have and I think it's great." She said looking at him straight in the eyes "You deserve to be happy and Cuddy…she makes you feel that way. She always has. And it's ok. You can sing if you want. You can be a Judy Garland too. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

She stared at him with a teasing smile, satisfied of her speech and relieved at the same time that she could have told him she wished him to be happy with another woman and have felt nothing. He stared back at her, expressionless but with narrowed eyes and she could tell he was working hard on this detached 'everything's under control' face. She patted him on the shoulder and started to leave. At the door step she turned around and said:

"Oh and House, when you see your team, could you please send at least one of them to the E.R. I really need some extra help there."

And she left. When he couldn't see her through the glass walls of his office anymore, he went to sit at his desk and stared blankly in front of him for a few seconds. Then he grabbed his giant red and grey tennis ball and threw it in the air absent-mindedly, with a smile on his face. It showed respect and a kind of fondness. Cameron was not a little girl anymore. The duckling had spread her wings.

And she had quite boldly unmasked him. But he didn't mind. He wasn't mad at her, because for the first time in years it was ok. He could be a 'Judy Garland' too.

_Metaphorically speaking of course_, he thought smiling…

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_**A/N**_

_well ok, seriously, this is strange... I don't want to say that having readers is a due thing or anything, but I mean at least, even when there's no comment for a chapter, I can still see that people stopped by to read... and today! wow, NOTHING!... NADA... so this is utterly puzzling because then, I don't really know how I should read this information..._

_does it mean that I should drop the story and stop posting since no one is interested anymore, or does it mean that the site has problem?..._

_well, I will surely eargerly wait for any sign from you to prove me wrong, for I have really loved to share this story with you up until now..._

_have a nice day ~ maya_


	36. Chapter 36

_IT'S MONDAY!! and before the so awaited hour, HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER_

_hope you'll enjoy it.... I think, in a way, it should answer some of your latest request about the sharing issue.... :)_

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**CHAPTER 36**

Days went by. And then weeks, and more weeks. Just like that. Without them even noticing. There was no routine at all, no plan, no big promises or anything. It was just time, passing between the two of them, quietly and serenely, building the need to be together as true evidence with each and every new day that went by. Not that they were questioning that need or trying to acknowledge it. It was just there and that was all. As undeniable and strong as the need to breathe could be. Should it be at his place or hers, there was not a night they had spent away from each other. The only thing that could bring them apart during those moments was the sound of his beeper and the fact was, it didn't even ring that much. At some point, House had thought that maybe his Team knew something, and didn't want to bother him. He hadn't spoken about his doubts to Cuddy, neither had he of his conversation with Cameron. There was no need for that since things were just going on well. Except for some really complicated cases, the ducklings had been dealing with the patients' treatment on their own pretty successfully. And House didn't complain. His mind was elsewhere. Perhaps he didn't realize it, but it was. Everyone that had known him long enough could tell this from an outside point of view: on a day to day basis, he appeared to be less ironic and cranky, more relax and in a good mood. He still had his bad days of course, like everyone else had. Or maybe, since he was not like everyone else, his bad days still were really bad ones, but force was to acknowledge that there were less of them than usual.

During their private moments, when they were alone together, House and Cuddy had begun to talk to each other, about them. Of course they also had sex. Long and passionate nights of sex without a sound except the one made by their longing and voluptuous sighs. But they also talked. And this was really something new for House. The feeling of sharing with someone. Again. He hadn't experienced it since a long time and at first he had been kind of reluctant to speak about him but Cuddy had shown patience. And it always had struck him: how she was able to be there, just silently waiting until he felt ready. She was and had been one of the only women he had trust in his whole life and he owed her that. She had been really careful not to push him, not to demand anything and that's how, little by little, she had tamed him. So that was how they had spent most of their long nights together:they had built intimacy, talking, for long and long hours, during which they had laughed or had just stared at each other. Sometimes they had even looked away because of the heaviness of the words they'd said, but eventually they had shared. Not everything, but they had. Some subjects still remained taboo and they both knew which ones they were and they had respected that. House had barely talked about his father and shared very few words about Stacy. Cuddy had kept the deception of not being a mother for herself and had just slightly evoked the men she had then met to be the potential genetic father. This "thing" they were living together and feeling for each other, it was there but it was fragile and unconsciously they knew what they should avoid doing to preserve it. It was the same with this one feeling they have for each other. It was there between them, undeniably present. And they perfectly knew its name… but yet they never talked about it out loud. Never said the words… it was as if they were too scared that once they would have said it, it would have crashed down this delicate and beautiful something they had. They were afraid that it could have broken the spell, because they were so amazed of this perfect connection they had that they sometimes wouldn't believe it was actually true.

It was a Thursday, late in the afternoon. House was alone in his office. His team was taking care of the patient, a mid-thirty woman who probably had Myasthenia gravis. The diagnosis was made. All they had to do was waiting for the lab to bring the test results to confirm and then they would be able to start treatment.

House was taking a nap. He loved those moments when the tension was low and he could rest his mind and let it wander just lighthearted and carefree, knowing that he wouldn't be disturbed. His eyes were closed and he thought about her. Irrepressibly a smile formed on his lips at the image of her just standing in front of him, looking fondly at him.

"House, are you sleeping?"

It was incredible how vivid his dreams could be! It was as if he actually could hear her voice for real.

"House! I know you're not sleeping! You're smiling. You can't smile in your sleep."

"Actually, I can. Because I'm thinking of you." He answered without opening his eyes and he beamed wider.

There was a short silence after that and he knew she was smiling too. He opened his eyes and he saw her standing in front of his ottoman, looking down at him with the exact grin he had imagined she had.

"What are you doing here?" He teased "Aren't you suppose to seduce some very rich donors and convince them to give tons of dollars to this hospital so you can finally grant me a raise?"

She exhaled a quiet laugh but didn't even bother to comment.

"I wanted to see if everything was okay with your patient" She said, wiggling a little and looking down at her feet so he wouldn't catch the little embarrassed look she had because of the lie she was telling.

But he didn't buy it. He knew her too well. It was his turn to chuckle blissfully.

"Ooh you're such a liar! You're definitely not here for my patient. You already know about my patient. I told you last night it was Myasthenia gravis…"

"The tests haven't confirmed yet!" She said to defend herself, with a pout that at the same time was admitting she really didn't care at all.

"Why can't you say you just wanted to see me?" He asked, piercing into her emerald gaze with his inquiring deep blue eyes.

She sighed and felt unmasked. There was no point in struggling against it anyway. She had come here to see him, because days were long, and even if she was busy and he was busy, the idea of him being in the same building sometimes just hit her, and then she felt the compelling urge to run to him.

"I wanted to see you" She confessed in a low voice and she came closer to the ottoman. "Move your feet" She commanded, bending to sit down.

He smiled and complied. She sat down and they stared at each other for a few seconds. She had to grip the edge of the footstool not to yield to the irrepressible need to huddle up against him inside the armchair.

"You want to kiss me." He said, tilting his head to the side.

"Not more than you do." She answered tit for tat, raising her chin defiantly.

"I won't be so sure of that." He admitted, with a hoarse voice that sent a shiver down her spine.

They both sighed resignedly and she moistened her lower lip with the tip of her tongue.

"You know, I think I wouldn't mind the glass walls if we actually had sex right here, now."

She widened her eyes in astonishment and her mouth dropped open in surprise.

"I'm just saying this, in case your plan is to keep on turning me on with your lip sucking like that."

"I am not tur…!" She started, faking to be shocked but then she stopped before she could finished her sentence and just smiled at the boyish exaggeratedly aroused face he was displaying to her.

"You better not finish late tonight!" He threatened, frowning and he reached out his hand to touch hers.

She intensely stared at his hand, covering hers and she took a deep breath, closing her eyes to fill her brain with the nude simplicity of this image.

"Things are going on pretty well between us, right?" She suddenly said out of the blue, "I mean, it's quite unexpected but… we get along… somehow… don't you think?"

"What do you mean?" He questioned with a smile.

"I mean…" She looked away and her voice became almost like a whisper "Why do you _still_ want to be with me? Why are you with _me_?"

"I don't know." He replied in a low voice, and she turned her head back to him frowning a little."But I can tell you why I'm not with you for." He immediately added, diving his gaze into her quizzical eyes.

"Why then?"

For some reasons, he knew it was now. He wasn't really comfortable with the whole idea of "labeling the feeling" but he couldn't lie to her anymore and keep pretending what they had together was just something meaningless.

"I'm not with you for the sex." He said a little uneasy. "I mean, don't get me wrong… sex with you? Wow! Amazing! Really… But actually, what I mean is, I'm not with you _just_ for that. Because if I were, then I could just keep on sleeping with hookers, you know."

She gaped out of bewilderment and removed her hand out of his.

"Ok, so, correct me if I'm wrong but sleeping with me is way much convenient for you because it's………… free?"

"Oh-ho! Don't underestimate you. You know, in your own way, you never miss an occasion to make me pay as well when you can."He answered, with a little extravagance in his voice, trying to maintain a bantering tone.

"Wait here! Are you saying that… I'm a hooker?"

"No. Actually what I'm saying is that you're NOT a hooker… what I'm saying is… " He sighed, searching for the right words "You have other things to offer apart from the sex."

"Like what?"

"You got beer in your fridge for me!"

"House. I'm serious".

"Wow! Me too, what do you think! Beer is a very serious thing you know… I'm not joking with this."

She scrutinized him with her narrowed eyes and he couldn't help but feel her power on him. She got him and there was nothing he could do. He stared at her with a puppy pouting face, begging her to stop but she really had decided to not let him get away with it.

"Are you saying you… _like_ me House?"

"Are you asking me to tell you I… _like_ you?"

"Don't deflect, just answer my question."

He sighed heavily and suddenly pulled himself out of his chair. Once he stood in front of her, he peered at her with sorry eyes.

"Cuddyyyy" He beseeched "I'm not good at this… God! Please you know how I feel, you…"

"No I don't." She insisted with an irresistible childish pout.

She stood up too and came close to him. She stopped just an inch away from him and raised her lovely face up. Just with the longing gaze she gave him, he knew he was defeated.

"Ok!" He exclaimed, sighing "I can write it on the whiteboard if you want."

She widened her eyes, intrigued and followed him in the conference room. He took the black marker and uncapped it. Holding it opened in the air, he stared at her and smiled sheepishly.

"Well let's see what we have here…" He said turning his back on her to write on the board. "This is a quite complicated case… we have a patient… presented with long inherent…"

And he wrote. She read the first words and held her breath.

CYNISCISM

GRUMPINESS

LEG PAIN

PAIN MEDS ADDICTION

He held the marker up and stood in front of the board, hesitating. Then finally, he took a deep breath and added.

DAMAGED HEART

He turned around to face her and stared intensely at her and she bit her lips, a pang of emotion hitting her in the chest. He gave her a shy smile and turned around to face the whiteboard again.

"The fact is this broken patient had been submitted to a highly pathogen strain for quite some years… I think it's called "Dean of Medicine" He stated, repressing a chuckle.

He flashed her a teasing glance above his shoulder and she rolled her eyes.

"all of this triggered a chain reaction… inevitable of course… because… it's what this dangerously toxic kind of poison does… to him…"

POWERGAMES

BANTER

SQUABBLING

SEXUAL INNUENDOS

"Leading to…"

NAUGHTY THOUGHTS

DESIRE

FANTASIES

PROVOCATION

CONFUSION

"and finally, let's face it"

SEX

"A lot of sex actually!... and then…" He sighed and waited a moment in front of the whiteboard. He put the cap back on the marker and turned around to face her. "all of that finally leading to…unexpected feelings of relief for both the patient's leg and chest pain…"

He looked at her, embarrassingly smiling, like a shy college boy and she stared back at him, her heart pounding inside her chest. She felt the need to be close to him and took the few steps that were keeping her away from him.

"Symptoms are showing in an irrational pattern" He said in a hoarse voice "So I don't really know what the diagnosis is...What do you think?"

"I'm a lousy doctor, remember?" She answered with a mischievous smile "I can't figure this out alone. I need help from a brilliant diagnostician…"

"Well, I'd say…" He took a step forward and dived into her mesmerizing eyes. "It's probably a massive allergic reaction!"

"Sure! Never rule out the allergy option too quickly" She replied with a broad grin.

"Actually it's too soon to tell. But as long as we're not completely sure, we can't remove the patient from the source. It could be even more risky…"

"Absolutely!" She said, nodding "We can't do that… so… what would you say if we'd try doubling the dose, starting… tonight?" She proposed, with a naughty sparkle behind her eyes.

He caught that sparkle and pulled her into him.

"Why not now?"

"Because, we're in a hospital, in your office surrounded with glass walls. People could come here any minute."

"There's no one here…" He stubbornly insisted, provoking her with an impish grin.

"House stop!" She said, pushing him away. "I gotta go anyway. I have paperwork to do. Go home and I'll meet you there in two hours."

"Yes, mistress!" He groaned with a deep low voice.

She squinted at him and then gave a quick glance around her. There was indeed nobody around. She stood up on tiptoe and swiftly stole him a kiss before he could even realize she had come near him. She took a step back and enjoyed the surprised look on his face. Then without a warning, she turned on her heels and started to leave the room. When she was just about to pass the door, she stopped and turned around to face him. He was still standing immobile in front of the whiteboard.

"You know" She said with a tender smile. "That allergy you've described… I think I have it too."

And she disappeared. He watched her walk away towards the elevator, swinging her hips in a very determined rhythm. Then he faced the board again, he took the pad and after he had given a last long look to what was written on it, he swabbed it clean in one wide movement of the arm.

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**A/N**

_wow!.... I mean WOW!! THANK YOU SO MUCH for the immediate and so kind answers you gave me yesterday, washing away all my (let's say it, kinda stupid) doubts..._

_I have to say I'm feeling a little dumb now because clearly... I still have readers, wonderful ones I shall say!! but well, this is all the site's fault!! I swear it told me this was a deserted place... but can I say that I'm glad it made some of you crawl out of their holes..._

_and you know, this is not fair: because THIS will surely become addictive, and I might want to have that everytime now!! LOL_

_anyway, I hoped you liked this new chapter. I understand all of your comments about the fact that House and Cuddy should open-up to each other and say the "L" word.... haaaaaa but this word is a very sacred word in the land of Huddy and the journey to that land is not over yet!.... _

_THANK YOU AGAIN, I loved and appreciated all your reactions! I promise I'll never doubt you again! :)...._

_have a wonderful monday night!! ;) ~ maya_

_ps: (to oc7ober) my life is busy like hell currently and I can't seem to find enough time to sit down and write (+ I write the Mayfield Healing Process fic too, and also, a weekly Huddy review of each new House's epi... available in GD on fox, in case it interests someone... but I promise the morning after involving the parents will come very SOON....) _


	37. Chapter 37

_HI EVERYONE! I hope you're doing great!_

_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER: baby steps, but leading to more intimacy nonetheless..._

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**CHAPTER 37**

She knocked on his door two hours later just as she said she would. But House was in his bathroom and he didn't hear her. Not right away. So she knocked a little harder and waited with her ear almost against the door to try to hear the familiar sound of his limping pace. She had her hand up in the air, ready to knock again when the door suddenly opened to him standing almost naked in front of her, just wearing a towel wrapped around his waist. When he saw her, he grinned broadly and seized her left arm to yank her inside. She stumbled and clang on to him to not lose her balance. He kicked the door shut and welcomed her in his arms.

"I almost waited." He said, smothering her with kisses behind her ear, on her cheekbones, her temple and her nose, her lips, her chin.

"You're stepping out of the shower, how could you possibly pretend you were waiting?" She exclaimed in a giggle, stretching her neck to give in to his gentle nibbling.

"Because I'm shameless" He answered, softening his kisses and gently brushing his lips up and down her neck.

She placed her palms on his bare chest and rubbed it gently. He grabbed her coat's collar and peeled off it. The coat slid on the floor and she wrapped her arms back around his waist to embrace him, leaning her forehead against his torso and breathing deeply the fresh scent of his shower gel. He cupped her head with both his hands and caressed her hair. The sensation sent voluptuous thrills of pleasure in her back and she tilted her head forwards, stroking his nude skin with her face. But he gently extricated himself from her embrace and took a step backwards.

"Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back!" He said hastily limping towards his bedroom.

"What are you doing?" She asked disappointed, frustrated and alone in the middle of his entry, after the sudden interruption of their tender hug.

"I'm getting dressed." He cried out in a loud voice that echoed from the other end of the hallway.

"Do you need help?" She proposed mischievously, starting to walk towards his bedroom to join him.

"Stay away, you little voyeur!" His voice made her stop half way. He popped his head out of the door frame and grinned. "There's wine in the fridge. Pour us a glass."

"You drink wine now?" She asked surprised.

"Scoot!" He exclaimed.

She couldn't repress laughter and headed to the kitchen. A few minutes later, she had served two glasses of wine and put them on the coffee table in the living room. She was seated on the couch and was waiting for him. She heard his limp in the hallway and she tipped her head back to welcome him with a smile. He walked pass the sofa and plopped down next to her, dropping his cane on the floor. She bent over to take the glasses of wine but he held her gesture back.

"Wait! I have something I want to give you first."

She widened her eyes intrigued and studied him closely.

"What? What something?"

He enjoyed seeing her getting almost worried in anticipation and he rummaged in his jeans pocket to finally retrieve a small leather box that he handed over to her.

"What's that?" She asked keeping her hands close to her, visibly not daring to take the box.

"Open it and you'll find out."

He reached out his hand and playfully brandished the box in front of her.

"Come on take it! Don't freak out, it's not an engagement ring!" He provoked her.

She glared at him and finally took the box. He beamed and attentively studied her reaction while she opened it. Her mouth dropped open when she saw its content and held it out.

"A key?" She asked, breathless.

"Yeah. Mine," he clarified, although she perfectly knew it was, "I thought since you're already spending a lot of time at my place… I mean, might as well be able to sneak in on your own…"

She intensely stared at him, wordless, completely awestruck by the significance of this gesture, especially coming from him.

"Are you sure?" She finally managed to ask, not yet ready to welcome the idea that he could have made such a big step.

"No, you're right… I'm not sure. Give it back to me." He tantalized.

He tried to snatch the key from her and she closed her fist tightly on it, taking her hand away from his grab.

"Nope!" She said convincingly, holding her hand above her shoulder.

He stared intensely at her and slouched back in the couch.

"So that means you're taking it?" He stated more than he asked, in a confident voice.

She sighed and opened her hand in front of her chest.

"It's a big step" She said in a low voice, staring down at the key.

"It's just a key." He reassured her, yet a little intrigued by her reaction.

"Yes but… is it really what you want?" She insisted, suddenly looking into his eyes back.

"I want you." He answered unequivocally, with a steady voice, "The key is just a way to make it easier for you to be here. What is there to freak out about?

She bit her lower lip, feeling suddenly stupid and inappropriately uneasy.

"Nothing." She whispered "But…"

He straightened up and turned to face her in the couch. He placed his index under her chin and gently lifted her visage up to him.

"No '_but_'..." He begged. He breathed deeply and added with a fleeting disenchanted glimpse in his eyes "And no one said it meant that now, you had to give _me_ your key"

She was struggling against the force of his hand trying to maintain her head up. He surrendered and let go of her chin, cupping her cheek in his palm. She closed her eyes and instantly cradled her face inside his hand, squeezing it against her shoulder. He came closer and put his other hand on her face to gently bring it up to his. She opened her eyes and offered her lips to him. He kissed her softly, still holding her face in the palm of his hands.

Three words. Now. They were burning his mouth and he was dying to say them.

Three words.

They locked eyes for what seemed an eternity but they both kept silent.

Suddenly breaking the silent, he leaned down to the coffee table and took the two glasses of wine. He handed her one and raised his in front of him.

"We need to drink a toast…" He proposed, studying her reaction "To the sweet fear in my woman's eyes…" He said with a slight disillusion in his tone, chinking glasses.

She couldn't tell at first what struck her most. The fact that he had thought she could be scared or this so delicious use of the possessive pronoun. But the voluptuous quiver she felt in the small of her back gave her the answer. She drank a sip of wine and came close to him. Very close. So close she was now breathing her warmth on his lips.

"_Your_ woman is NOT scared" She whispered.

"Are you sure?" He murmured.

"Yes, I am."

And she bit his lower lip. He slightly jumped and she carefully took his glass out of his hand. She then put it back on the table along with hers. Afterwards and without a warning, she stood up and went to grab her purse in which she conspicuously put his key. House remained seated on the sofa, absolutely still but he followed her every movement as if he had been hypnotized. She tossed her purse on the floor and came back next to him, standing just in front of him. She looked down at his face and dived in the immensity of his blue gaze. His stare was so intense, she felt as if he was peeling off her clothes. Unable to resist the call of his appealing eyes, she put one knee on the sofa, just next to his thigh and leaned to his face, putting one hand on his chest to keep her from falling. She slid her other hand under his shirt and stroked his belly skin.

"Why did you put clothes on?" She asked in a sensual low voice, just an inch from his lips "Now I'll have to undress you all over again…"

"You want to undress me?" He said in a teasing tone "You'll have to earn that right before"

"What do you mean _earn_?"

He grabbed both her wrists and straightened up, forcing her to stand up again. She pouted and narrowed her eyes quizzically. He flashed a roguish smile at her and stood up too.

"I know a game." He answered "Do you want to play with me?"

She tilted her head on the side intrigued and gave him a knowing smile, saying she definitely was in a mood for game…

"What kinda game?" She asked him, coming closer; and she sensually rubbed herself against him.

Doing that, she impishly moved her hands on his shirt and started to unbutton it, while rising on her tiptoes to divert his attention with a kiss. He leaned down and let her kiss him but at the same time, he seized her hands and moved them away from his shirt.

"You little cheater!" He breathed inside her mouth, pushing her tongue away "The game hasn't started yet. You didn't earn the right to do that."

She moaned to protest and wrapped her hands round his neck to pull him into her. She wasn't playing fair and her arguments were convincing. It took him all his remaining will power not to surrender to her call but he did. He took a step backwards and extricated from her embrace.

"Are you hungry?"

"Screw dinner! ... That's not food I'm hungry for." She said pushing her body back against him.

He beamed when he saw how impatient she was. It made him want to play even more. He took her by the shoulder and stared compellingly at her.

"Stop protesting!" He ordered "My game. My rules. And you really better be hungry…"

* * *

**A/N**

_the question seems to be about a certain "morning after" and its significance, since there's several mentions of it lately in the comments..._

_so as I said when I posted this story here, "If You Let Me, I Might Try" is a story that I first posted in the FanFiction section of Fox Forum show community of House... there, the story is way ahead from here (even if it's STILL IN PROGRESS) but let's say that there're at least 150 more pages there in Fox than here in ff and of course, that means the storyline is not standing at the same point there as it is here, so there is indeed something involving a morning after but I won't tell you what it is because I don't want to spoil you..._

_and btw, if I may say, maybe people who read this story in both sites should try not to make too many references about the plot and characters in here, so that the people that only read this story here can still have the surprise of discovering what the storyline holds in store for them!..._

_to huddles777, GD in Fox means the General Discussion section in the Fox Forum House show community board... that's indeed where I post my weekly HUDDY REVIEW of the latest aired House's episode_

_to MaudMF: je suis une francilienne pure et dure, née et elevée à Paris et sa région... :-)_

_I HOPE YOU LIKED THE NEW CHAPTER! THANK YOU FOR YOUR WONDERFUL REVIEWS, AND WELCOME TO THE NEW READERS!! _

_HAVE A NICE DAY (or NIGHT!) ~ maya_


	38. Chapter 38

_NEW CHAPTER!! where you will learn more about what to expect from House when he's in a sensual playful mood..._

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**CHAPTER 38**

["_Stop protesting!" He ordered "My game. My rules. And you really better be hungry_…"]

She gaped out of surprise but deep inside she undeniably felt her desire aroused by the forceful tone of his voice. She tilted her head back, looking up at him with yearning eyes. He sustained her gaze, enjoying her sensual call but he however let go of her and walked toward the kitchen. After a few steps away, he turned around and looked at her. She hadn't moved a bit and he motioned her to follow him with a determined movement of the chin, a teasing smile forming on the corner of his mouth. She waited a few seconds and joined him in the kitchen. As soon as she stepped inside, he came close to her and grabbed her by the waist, leaning down to kiss her. She threw her arms around his neck and gave herself to him without resistance. His hands were holding her firmly against him. Her body was so frail and thin wrapped in his arms like that that it gave him the delightful sensation of possessing her completely. He pressed her tightly against him and while their entangled tongues were dancing in each other's mouth, he pushed her against the counter. When the small of her back hit the surface, he seized her by the waist and without parting from their kiss, he lifted her up and made her sit on the wooden surface. She tried to enfold him with her legs but he gently stopped her, pressing on her thighs to immobilize her. He sensed her immediate frustration by the way she started to fidget on the counter, trying to regain control over him but he didn't let her do that.

"I think you're horny enough to start the game now." He said teasingly, seizing her arms and pulling them away from his neck.

Saying this, he bent over and grabbed a napkin on the counter behind her.

"Cover your eyes with this," he directed, "rule number one: you can't see anything before I tell you that you can."

She let out a quiet laugh.

"You're kidding me, right?" She asked, and something in the way she immediately squinted at him with a quizzical gaze showed that he had definitely aroused her curiosity nonetheless.

"No." He replied, smiling, "You want to undress me? I'm giving you the rule to get what you want… but in a spicy way."

"Which is?"

He placed his hands on the counter on each side of her thighs and leaned forwards, stopping just an inch away from her face.

"Why do you always need to know everything?" He whispered, breathing out warm blows of air on her skin.

She raised her chin and locked eyes with him.

"Because I can't trust you." She answered boldly.

He smiled, turned on by the provoking tone of her voice.

"And neither can I." He grunted, narrowing his eyes.

She moistened her lips and opened her mouth suggestively. He came even closer and slowly sucked her bottom lip. She let him nibble her skin and suddenly she bit him and thirstily kissed him, but she endeavored to keep her hands along her thighs, firmly gripping the edge of the counter to prevent her from touching him. He had his hands placed flat on each side of her legs as well and couldn't touch her either so the only physical contact they had was through their lips and tongue. They were pushing their face toward the other to thrust deeper in each other's mouth and by the stubborn force they put in that kiss, struggling not to use their hands, they both were well aware that the game had already started. All of a sudden, he straightened himself up, grabbed the napkin and handed it over to her.

"Put it on your eyes." He demanded once again.

She was breathing loud and fast and she stared at him defiantly for some long and burning seconds up until the moment when, without taking her eyes off of him, she finally took the napkin.

"Good." He said as he watched her wrap the cloth tightly around her skull.

When her eyes were covered, he bent over and whispered in her ear:

"Don't cheat."

She felt the tip of his finger slowly tracing a stroking line from the back of her ear to the top of her cleavage. She shivered and tightened her grasp on the counter's edge. She stretched her neck and waited breathless for his next caress but his hand was gone and the next sensation she had was the sound of him rummaging in the cupboards and drawers coming from her left. Her eyes covered by the napkin's cloth, she couldn't see anything and she tried to decipher what he was doing, all the clicking sounds around her irresistibly bringing her desire to an almost hurting level. All of a sudden, silence filled the room again and all she could hear was the blow of her own breathing, short and quick, echoing in the kitchen. She pricked up her ears and after a few seconds she recognized his limp but she couldn't identify where it was coming from.

"House?" She called in a lustful whisper.

"I'm right here." His low voice answered just in front of her.

She slightly jumped when she could feel his breath on her cheek. She couldn't see his face but she knew he was enjoying this and she could have sworn he was smiling.

"Ready to play?" He asked mischievously and he gently nibbled her in the neck.

She jumped again and quite unconsciously she reached out her hands and cupped his face. He covered them with his and made them slide away along his cheeks and in his neck, then he conspicuously rubbed them along his chest, guiding the caress down to his belly and when her hands reached his belt, he pushed them away and placed them both flat on top of each of her lap, gently patting them.

"Rule number two: you don't touch me"

She gaped and arched her back, coming closer to the edge of the counter.

"But," She exclaimed frustrated, clutching her hands on her thighs, "how am I supposed to undress you?"

"And rule number three: you don't talk." He added in pure delight and undeniably beaming. "If you talk or touch me during the game then **I** am taking one of your clothes off. But if you keep your hands for yourself and stay silent, then you can undress me and I'll be all yours."

"You mean you're not all mine … yet?" She whipped up with the same arousing tone.

A short silent followed her question and she suddenly felt her heart sinking in her chest, an irrational angst invading her because of his silence.

"Greg?" She whispered anxiously.

She started to picture all kinds of reactions he might have had, panicking for no reason whereas if she'd have seen him and the genuine fond smile he had on his lips she would have known there was no doubt about the answer…

"I think I'll choose a shoe first." Was his answer and she felt him grabbing her feet and slowly taking her shoe off.

The sound of her high heel falling on the tiles sent a slight shiver down her spine when she retrospectively understood there was no awkwardness at all in his previous silence.

"What?... But you didn't say the game had started …" She protested, feeling cheated.

She heard him chuckle and he seized her other feet. He teasingly stroked her ankle, conspicuously brushing the hem of the shoe with his fingertips and she sensed all her muscles contracting, while she tried to contain the growing feeling of excitement that started to take control of her body. He surely noticed it because he suddenly peeled off her shoe and threw it on the floor next to the other one.

"That's not fair…" She said, pouting her disapprobation but fighting the broad smile of delight that was irrepressibly forming on her lips at the same time.

"You're really incapable of keeping your mouth shut, aren't you?" He whispered in her ear, titillating her lobe with the tip of his tongue.

She let out a yearning moan and her hands jerked up instinctively on her thighs but she clenched her fists and put them back on her lap.

"And moans count too!" He mocked playfully. "But I'm nice, so let's say that I throw in this one for free!"

Under the napkin's cloth, she closed her eyes, mentally cursing herself for giving him so obvious proves of her undeniable desire. She loved challenges and she particularly loved the ones she had to take up against him. And she certainly wasn't going to yield without resistance and give him the pleasure of an easy victory on that one. She straightened herself up and took a deep breath, slightly raising her chin in front of her, whereat she knew he was standing.

"Are you ready now?" He asked her playfully.

She opened her mouth to answer but controlled herself just in time not to fall in his sweet trap and set her lips, nodding her approval.

"Hmm yeah!" He said, gloating, "That's how proud my woman is!" And he placed his hands on her waist, making her feel his presence even more vividly with his possessive touch.

She wiggled on the counter and strongly bit her inside cheek so that he couldn't see how much she was struggling to remain still. Because she was indeed too proud to let him win now and he surely knew he had total power over her in that very moment but she was ready to put up a good fight. She stretched her neck and waited for him to kiss her but he let go of her waist and she sensed him slightly moved away from her. She heard the sound of dishes or glasses and she quivered when he made his way back between her legs.

"Open your mouth." He required.

Her first reaction was to shake her head 'no' and she heard him repress a quiet laugh.

"C'mon," He insisted, "You gotta trust me."

She closed her eyes again under the cloth and smiled. Because she realized that no matter how long the game would last and she would pretend to resist, eventually she knew she would yield and surrender to him, unconditionally; because he had given her his key; because they had made it. They really were together now. She felt deliciously ready to accept that idea. She was sitting on his kitchen's counter, blindfolded and she felt she was all his. She opened her mouth and stretched her neck in his direction.

Just before it entered her mouth, it was its delightful appetizing scent that filled her nostrils. He placed it on the verge of her lips and slowly pushed it inside. She tilted her head back and planted her teeth in the juicy sweet flesh. The sugar filled her mouth and she clenched her jaws to repress the moan of pleasure that irrepressibly tried to come from the depth of her throat but controlled her breath instead, inhaling and exhaling slowly.

"You like strawberries?" He asked.

She nodded and smiled, feeling proud of herself to have victoriously passed this first test. She placed her hands flat on both sides of the counter alongside her thighs and docilely waited for the next step. She was enjoying that game. She now wanted more of that game. Her breath accelerated in anticipation when she sensed the smell of another fruit and she shivered when he slowly brushed the pulp of her lips with it. She opened her mouth but he took the fruit away just when she was about to bite in it.

"Tssk, tssk! Didn't you learn to share?" He teased her, "This one's for me."

She bit her bottom lip and it required her another long great moment of concentration to hold back the groan of frustration but she made it. She clutched the edge of the counter strongly; so strongly it turned her knuckles all white. But she couldn't see them and anyway she didn't care. She loved the game now. She straightened herself up, serenely. She didn't know what was next and she had no way of finding out whatsoever but it felt good. She was learning to lose herself completely. _He_ was teaching her how to lose herself completely and give up her need of control.

She felt his hands on her face. He caressed her cheek gently, rubbing the tip of his thumb on her cheekbone. She wanted to cradle her face in this palm. But she kept her head still. He really wanted to put her resistance to the test but she really wanted to resist. He removed his hand and again she had to wait, suffering the delightful pain of longing. Then, she felt the tickling sensation of his stubble against her face. She arched her back and took a deep breath but she kept silent. And she didn't move.

"You're brave." He whispered against her skin. "Here, it's for you. It goes with the strawberries."

He parted her lips gently with one finger and she felt the taste of whipped cream on her tongue. He pushed his finger between her teeth and she closed her mouth sucking the cream and his finger voluptuously. She heard him sighed, almost throatily moan, and she felt she had gained all her power on him back. She couldn't see him and she couldn't touch him but she still knew how to arouse him. And nothing in the game was forbidding her to do so.

"More?" He asked.

She nodded and he gave her another creamy finger to suck. He slid it out of her mouth and slowly licked the verge of her lips with his tongue.

"You have cream all over." He explained.

She puffed and smiled. Then he cupped her face and gently pulled her into him. She didn't let go of her grab on the counter but she leaned to him, ready to taste his lips again. To her surprise she felt the pulp of a strawberry instead. One he was holding between his lips to feed her. She bit in the fruit and he did the same cutting it in half, kissing her at the same time, mixing the pulp of the fruit inside their mouth with their entangled tongue. His hands went from her face down to her neck and he sensually stroked her skin, sliding under the hem of her shirt and enveloping her shoulder with his large hands. His soft and long hands.

It felt so good, that the longing moan just uncontrollably slipped out of her throat and she sighed inside his mouth, completely loosening herself in the lust of the moment, forgetting about the game's rules.

"You moaned." He blew in the middle of their kiss, and he seized her shirt's tails, ready to undo the first button.

"I don't care." She said in a hoarse whisper, her lips still against his.

"You talked." He added, chuckling and he started to unbutton her shirt.

Screw the game now! She wished he would just rip it off. She forcefully wanted him. She let go of the counter and she wrapped her arms around him. Finally. The sensation was so electrifying, she moaned a second time and she enclosed him in her legs.

"Maybe I've changed my mind." She said short of breath, parting from their kiss. "Maybe I have a new strategy."

"Which is?"

"Hah! Who needs to know everything now?!" She teased.

She was still blindfolded but she could tell he had smiled.

"I figured…" She went on, "if you see _me_ completely naked, then I won't even have to ask _you_ to get undressed."

"Hmm cunning plan…" He groaned, burying his face in her neck "I knew there was more to this zesty body than just an earthly frame designed to turn me on."

He slowly removed the napkin out of her head and she winced when the light hit her face. She kept her eyes narrowed to adjust to the sensation and in her blurry vision, she saw him beaming in front of her. She closed her legs tighter around his waist and wrapped her arms around his neck, clinging on to him. He seized her ass cheeks and brought her to the edge of the counter, nestling his hips between her opened legs. She felt his erection pressing against her inner thigh.

"What if we'd continue the game in your bedroom now?" She suggested, nibbling his nape.

"Hmm, sure…" He moaned and he gently helped her to step down the counter, welcoming her in his arms when her feet hit the ground.

He took both her hands and started to walk out, tugging her with him. But she pulled on his arms and freed one of her hands, then she promptly turned around and grabbed the napkin on the top on the counter. She faced him again and waved the cloth mischievously in front of him.

"Now it's my turn to use this, because I know games too."

She let go of his hand and walked past him with a dancing step, hurrying towards the bedroom and sensing his determined limp catching up behind her.

* * *

**A/N**

_THANK YOU so much to everyone who reads and reviews this story, and to all of you who added me in their list of favorites. a friendly, though (let's be honest) slightly sad, HELLO to everyone who comes here and read but chose to remain silent... I'd wish I'd know you but as House says (quoting the Ô so famous Jagger philospher...) "you can't always get what you want"..._

_oh and .... WELCOME to NEW READERS!_

_I hope you're ALL still enjoying the ride... stay tuned, there is MORE to come soon...!! :-)_

_in the meantime, ENJOY YOUR LIFE! ~ maya_


	39. Chapter 39

_Hi everybody! here's the NEW CHAPTER and it comes along with a **WARNING!** _

_because every chapter has been important in this story so far, but **THIS ONE.... YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO MISS IT...**_

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**CHAPTER 39**

When he entered his bedroom she was down on her knees fidgeting on his bed, waiting for him. He paused a few seconds at the door to look at her and enjoy the moment. She wriggled on the mattress and commanded him to hurry. A broad grin illuminated his face when he assessed how impatient she was. He approached the edge of the bed and she gripped his shirt tails then avidly yank him towards her. He didn't resist and willingly but cautiously topple on her.

"Wow!" He chuckled blissfully "You're really _that_ horny?"

"I'm really _that_ horny." She confirmed short of breath and she made him roll to lie on his back, and then sat back on her knees at his side.

He reached out his hands to seize her waist and pull her into him but she resisted and stayed seated.

"Oh no House!" She said with a mischievous sparkle behind her eyes, "Now it's my turn. And I earned the right to undress you… my way."

"Did you?" He provoked, "I'm not sure about that."

"Who cares if I did! Just look me in the eyes and say you don't want me to undress you right now…"

She waited a short while looking down at him and he spread his arms open on the bed in a surrendering gesture.

"All right you won! Cuz' why would I say that anyway? Duh! That'd be so stupid of me…" He answered with a roguish smile

"While everyone knows you're not stupid, are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"But you're an ass." She added and she leaned down towards his face.

"The biggest ass you've ever met."

"A sexy one though." She purred into his ear and she sensed him shiver under her breath.

She straightened up a little and with a knowing smile she held out the napkin above him. Before she even had to ask, he stretched his head up and let her tie the cloth around his skull docilely. While she did, bent over him, he searched for her hips and started to enfold her in his arms, maintaining her half-lied onto his chest. She didn't try to pull back but leaned closer and she brushed his nape with her lips.

"Move your hands away," She whispered in a low hoarse voice, "you didn't earn the right to touch me yet."

He complied halfheartedly and she clearly heard him sigh in frustration. She couldn't help gloating when she leaned again to explain.

"My game. My rules." She stated jubilantly, rubbing her nose on his chin.

"And what are your rules?" He asked throatily.

"You're mine and I can do whatever I want with you."

"Yeah… except this is not a rule. This is just a fact."

She instantly beamed and took a deep breath savoring the exaltation of hearing him acknowledge he was at her mercy. He was blindfolded and had just surrendered willingly to her power, but despite that power she undeniably had on him, what she felt for him in that very moment had nothing to do with the game. It was so tender, strong and vivid that it almost hurt her.

"Shut up!" She ordered, trying to hide behind a directive tone the rush of emotions that was invading her body.

As an answer to her command, she saw a playful smile forming on the corner of his lips and she knew he was enjoying this. And it aroused her even more. She wanted him to be naked now. She wanted to follow her sensual rules and slowly peel him off his clothes. So she started by the belt. She unbuckled it and pulled on it to make it slide through his jeans' loops. She untied his laces and took his sneakers off, and then his socks, baring his feet. She waited without moving and studied his reactions. He was stretching his neck, trying to guess what she was doing and where she was going to put her hands next.

She realized that if she was quiet and light enough on the mattress he wouldn't be able to anticipate her moves and she thought the idea could turn out to be a very exciting one for both of them. She didn't even need to say or do anything, because she knew he'd had the same idea. She saw it in the way he re-positioned himself on the bed, lying with his hands along his thighs, offering her his body to play with. He was so ready for her game that she moistened her bottom lip in a greedy reflex, just as if she was about to taste her favorite dish.

She leaned down and began to undo his shirt, starting from the bottom button. As she went along, slowly spreading the tails open and exposing his abdomen, she saw the wave of shiver running up on him, which followed the trail of her hands, leaving goose bumps on his skin and causing his nipples to erect under her caress. She would have wanted to devour him with her kisses and rub each and every inch of his skin with the palm of her hands, voluptuously, but she contained her need. She wanted to tease him first and make his desire come to its climax.

She closed her eyes and took a deep calm breath, then she allowed her to put out her left hand on his pecs and with the nail of her index finger she traced winding lines on his torso, drawing small circles around his nipples and then going down, tickling his ribs, plunging at his waist and reemerging to go on the hollow of his navel.

He clenched his fist along his thighs, while all his muscles contracted on her nail's way. She heard him exhaling a groan of pleasure and she immediately removed her hand, smiling victoriously. He was short of breath and she couldn't repress the urge of stealing him a kiss. She leaned carefully and stopped just an inch away from his face. He sensed she was near and he stretched his neck to touch her lips. She opened her mouth slightly and let him taste her but she didn't give him her tongue. As soon as he began to explore her deeper, she drew away from his lips and straightened up again. It was not easy for her either and she really had to control her own desire to not just yield to it and jump him right away.

She needed to feel him nonetheless to be able to quench her craving and she needed to feel him now. On her skin. She reached out for his jeans' button and zipper and undid them. He lifted his hips spontaneously, assuming she was going to take his pants off but she didn't. She unbuttoned her shirt instead and took it off very silently, controlling her movement so that he couldn't guess what she was doing. Noticing nothing was happening, he lied back down on the bed and she perceived a slight trace of frustration by the way he wiggled impatiently on the mattress.

"Hey! What are you doing?" He called out, tilting his head to the side of the bed where he thought she was sitting.

"Shh!" She said, leaning down to his ear to make him feel her presence close to him.

He quivered at the sound of her voice and shrank his shoulder a little. She took advantage of this fleeting moment and in one quick and determined motion she grabbed his jeans, pulled it down his legs and took it off.

"Oh God!" He exclaimed in a chuckle, "I like your game."

She rapidly stepped out of the bed to take her pants off as well and when she got back on the mattress, she was only wearing her underwear but he couldn't know it. And yet, he was lying there, almost naked himself, and she could see the undoubted proof of his desire growing bigger inside his boxers. She wanted him now. She went down on all fours and slowly crawled towards him like a panther approaching her prey. She sensually slithered above him, starting from his legs and she climbed up, placing her hands on both sides of his body. When she arrived at his hips she bent over to touch his skin with her skin. She stroked his belly with her chin and rubbed her breast up against his manhood. The warm and unexpected contact made him jump out of surprise and he arched his back. She straightened and straddled him, carefully sitting on his lap and heeding not to hurt his scar. He placed his hands flat on her thighs and despite the allegedly rules of her game, she hadn't the strength to remove them. She let him stroke her and she tilted her head back, taking a deep lustful breath and arching her curve to welcome the delightful sensation of his caresses. She put her hands on his groin and slid underneath the fabric of his boxers. She felt his balls under her fingers and she grabbed his shaft in her left hand and began to caress it, tickling the tip of his cock with her thumb.

"Oh my fucking God!" He moaned, "I love your game!"

She bent over and nuzzled his neck, gently rubbing her nose in his nape.

"Really?" She asked mischievously, still playing with his cock.

"No. I just lied. Cuz' I hate it." He kidded, gasping for air.

"I can make you love it even more you know." She whispered suggestively in his ear.

"Oh please do!" He answered in a blissful groan.

She moved away from his lap, seized the elastic waistband of his boxers and then slowly slid it along his legs, liberating his bulging member. The up and down movements of his belly were betraying his yearning and she heard the sound of his breathing accelerating in anticipation. She placed her hand flat on his midriff and gently caressed his abdomen, moving her palm down to the edge of his pelvis. He shivered and she leaned down to his shaft, first slightly brushing her lips on his foreskin. He moaned through clenched teeth and she licked it with the tip of her tongue causing his cock to jolt under her kiss. She took it completely inside her mouth and bobbed it in and out a few times then slid it out and licked it again slowly.

"Oh Gawd! Lisa…" He breathed his pleasure.

He was really hers. He was really unconditionally hers now. She was somehow still refusing to surrender to this very idea and yet it was impossible for her to ignore the silent voice that was shouting that evidence throughout every pore of her skin. She kept on giving him the pleasure she wanted him to have in her mouth and she shivered when she witnessed him giving in without restraint. But she stopped before he reached his orgasm and she sensually crawled back up to him, kissing him everywhere she could along the way, on his hips, his navel, his stomach, his pecs and nipples, and in the hollow of his collarbone, never getting enough of his skin, his scent, his taste, the salty taste of his sweat. When she reached his face, she rubbed her cheeks against his and pecked him on his cheekbone and on his nose and she nibbled his lips, until she felt his arms finally wrapping her, as if he couldn't hold it back any longer now and had felt the urging need of squeezing her tight against him. She moaned and buried her face in his neck.

"Do you want me now?" She asked.

"What?" He blew, short of breath.

"You can have me now." She said hoarsely.

As an answer, a growl came out from the depth of his throat and he seized the napkin to take it off his eyes. She caught his hands just in time and held his gesture back.

"No" She murmured.

She pulled his hands away from his face and she saw he looked a bit puzzled.

"Explore me." She asked in a lustful blow "As if you were blind… Explore me with your hands."

She helped him sit up on the bed and she sat in front of him, waiting. He carefully put out his arms and met both her shoulders first. He then slid along her arms, at a snail's pace, all the way down her wrists and went back up, cradling her elbows in his palms and covering her shoulder again. He went up in her neck and enveloped her nape. He then gently massaged her skull and combed her hair with his long thin fingers, sending voluptuous shivers down her spine.

"Mmm yes, like that." She whispered yearningly, welcoming each electrifying tickling sensations he was giving her with a slight jerk of delight.

He slipped around her skull and slid on her face, slowly touching her with the tip of his fingers. He brushed her lips with his thumb and made them part a little pressing gently on her chin, then he pushed his thumb on the verge of her mouth and she sensually nibbled it; but then he took his hand away and slowly moved it down her chest. He felt the straps of her bra under his touch and made them fall on her shoulders one after the other. Then he enfolded her in his arms and unhooked her bra to free her breasts. Before he sat back down in front of her, he kept her in his arms, huddled up against his chest and kissed her nape, exhaling warms blows of air on her skin.

"You drive me crazy." He sighed.

She tilted her head back offering her windpipe to his kisses.

"Who? Me or my body?" She asked, between her moans.

"Ha… But you ARE your body." He breathed his desire, and he cupped her left breast inside his hands and slowly stroked it.

She arched back even more and pushed her chest up towards him. He placed both his hands on her breasts and leisurely caressed them, pressing the tips on his thumb on her nipples and drawing small circles with his fingers around the curved flesh. He rubbed and caressed and stroked and the more he did, the more it aroused her craving for him. But all of a sudden, he just stopped his movements, and removed one hand, keeping the other one still on her breast, absolutely immobile. She thought he was teasing her, and she thought he was good, because she was really about to yield and give herself to him completely.

"Don't stop!" She begged him.

And his hand on her right breast started to move again but it didn't feel like a caress anymore. She gulped and glanced at him and she saw his features were all tense. He gave her no warning and suddenly, in one swift gesture he ripped the napkin off his head and stared at her with utter gravity.

"Hey! You're cheating, you're…" She began to say, unconvincingly, but she stopped in the middle of her sentence, lowering her gaze unable to sustain the intensity of his eyes on her.

Without a word, he seized her right arm and compellingly placed it above her shoulder, maintaining it firmly bent behind her neck. He reached out his hand and cupped her breast again.

But this was not the lover touching her anymore and this was not a caress either. This clearly was the doctor, exploring the area around her areola and carefully palpating her nipple. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip when she felt his finger pressing it under her skin. His hand freeze and she sensed the weight of his stare on her forcing her to lift up her gaze and look at him. She raised her head and their eyes met. His lips were trembling a little and it seemed like he was gathering the strength to talk and searching for the right words. She smiled sheepishly and covered the hand he still had on her breast with hers, and then, without taking her eyes off him she slowly slid it down.

"You have a lump on your right breast" He stated mechanically, when he realized she had moved his hand away from her.

* * *

**A/N**

_see? I told you... now I'll await your reviews on this very eagerly... and actually, now that you know, I can also tell you that this chapter was the original idea that inspired me to write the whole story... and this is going to be a HUGE plotline... _

_so prepare yourself for the rollercoaster ride ahead..._

_and THANK YOU for being here! you know, I really enjoy posting this story here more and more each day...._

_to huddles777: don't worry, I'm all for the general "viva la spoiler free attitude" idea, so if you choose to read this story just here, you won't get any information from me!!.... ;) which is the best way to read it, I think... _


	40. Chapter 40

_IT'S MONDAY! :-) Woo-Hoo, I love Mondays..._

_ok so HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER... where you'll find out how they'll both react to face this distressing threat... surprise, surprise..._

* * *

**** CHAPTER 40 ****

_["You have a lump in your right breast" He stated mechanically, when he realized she had moved his hand away from her.]_

An awful silence filled the room and they kept staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"Did you hear what I've just said? You have a lump…"

"…In my right breast. Yes, I heard you" She answered in a whisper and she lowered her eyes to avoid his gaze.

But House kept on scrutinizing her as he tried to collect his thoughts, his rational thoughts. He needed to focus his brain on this new reality, however painful and distressful it might be. Sensual game was over. It clearly was. He abruptly realized it when a shiver jolted his whole body and he became conscious of his nakedness and the fact that his erection had stopped the very second he had felt the small mass in her breast under his fingers. Not that he was feeling uncomfortable just sitting in his raw nudity in front of her but somehow, in that very moment, he thought it didn't felt right any longer. He spotted his boxers on the mattress and he reached out his hand to take them. He then crawled to the edge of the bed and put them back on. It took him less than a minute to do so but a minute while she, on the other hand, stayed perfectly still, almost looking crazed. She was sitting on her knees, in the middle of the bed, only wearing her panties and God! She looked so puzzled to him. He felt a pang of angst clutching his chest. And what terrorized him even more, he felt helpless. But that was not a feeling he was willing to accept, especially in that particular circumstance. Because there was no way he would allow this to be. He had to do something, right now, for her. In the most extreme irrational way, he was already blaming himself and feeling rage and extreme frustration to have been incapable of preventing this to happen. And yet how could he? There was indeed nothing he, Dr. Gregory House, even though he was a brilliant diagnostician, could have done on a medical level for a woman that had developed a lump in her breast. And worse, nothing that he, Greg House, despite what he was felling, could have done on a personal level for Lisa Cuddy, his gorgeous and enthralling woman who was sitting on his bed beside him, at arm's length, staring down at her lap and looking so lost that it made him want to scream his anger against this fate's irony.

"Ok. So, I'd say from what I've sensed that it's not larger than one inch and it seems like…"

She lifted her gaze and looked at him quizzically. Of course he had to rationalize it and raise the medical aspect of it, to give his mind something to focus on. It was his way of emotionally stepping back to allow him to process the event start accepting the idea.

"What?" He asked almost coldly, narrowing his eyes and looking slightly upset by her apparent non involvement in this.

"Is there really nothing else you want to say to me now, apart from these size-related creepy details?"

"Sorry if I'm a doctor. But the size of the lump is important and you know that. Cuz' y_ou_'re a doctor too."

"I thought I was just an administrator." She interrupted him, trying to smile fondly at him.

"Cuddy… This is not a joke." He snapped.

She sighed heavily and turned her head away to escape the distressful weight of his gaze on her.

"I know. But I'm fine."

"You're not fine. Fuck! You have a lump on…"

"It's probably just a cyst."

"How can you be sure?"

"I can't but…" She closed her eyes and forcefully rubbed her forehead with her left hand, visibly struggling against this uncomfortable situation. She opened her eyes again and tilted her head to the side to look at him, beseeching him with her gaze to give her the strength to carry on.

"But what?" He asked, his voice betraying his impatience.

She took a deep breath and searched for his eyes, before she could confess.

"I have to do further exams to confirm, but that's what my gynecologist said…"

He puffed and it hit her like a slap in the face. He was staring at her utterly bemused and in shock.

"You mean you already_ knew_ about this?" He asked grimly.

The tone of his voice threw her into utter confusion. She bit her upper lip to prevent it from trembling and try to sustain his glare.

"When? _When_ did you first notice?"

"How could it be relevant to…"

"When was it?" He interrupted her harshly, his voice becoming louder with every word he was pronouncing.

"I… it was during a shower… last week."

House's mouth dropped open in bewilderment and she clearly saw the shadow of hurt darkening his eyes. He sighed and his features stiffened.

"Dammit Cuddy! Why? WHY haven't you told me then?" He shouted at her.

"Because…" She defended herself with a wobbling voice, but feeling lost and stressed by his yelling.

Tears gathered in her eyes and unable to finish her sentence, she set her lips, breathing slowly through her nose to try to hold them back. Unconsciously she felt the need to cover herself in front of him. She put out her hand to collect her shirt and she placed it in front of her breast. She then crossed her arms in front of her chest and shrank a little, holding on tightly to the thin cloth as if it was a strong shield, which could have protected her from his inquisitive stare. He noticed her discomfort and clenched his jaws. Laboriously, gripping his injured thigh tightly, he came closer to her and reached out his free hand to touch her.

"Let me have a look."

"No." She answered quietly but firmly.

He widened his eyes, upset.

"I don't want you to palpate me." She went on, carefully, in a low voice. "You're a doctor I know. But that's not how I want you to handle this. That's not how I need you. You and I… we… I mean I don't want you to knead my breast to look for a diagnosis. I want your caresses. I…"

"Of course!" He exclaimed in a sarcastic tone she hadn't heard him use with her in a long time. "And when they have to cut half your breast to remove that fucking thing, then you'll be happy to have my caresses to comfort you, is that what you're saying?"

She didn't know how she did it or where she found the strength to stomach it but she managed to stay still and expressionless. Her breath maybe just slightly accelerated, but except for an imperceptible extra gape of air she felt the need to inhale, nothing in her attitude betrayed how awfully hurt she was. She slowly bent over and stretched out one hand to take her bra back, still maintaining the shirt against her to hide her nude breast. Then she turned her back on him and slowly but determinedly started to dress again. He was looking at her and in some way, he understood what she was doing but he couldn't do or say anything, as if he was paralyzed by fear. Fear he'd felt pervading him when he'd realized what she meant and how wrong he'd been with his screwed up reaction. She'd put back her bra and shirt on and she was stepping out of the bed to take her pants that was lying on the floor. And that's when she leaned down to pick it up that he suddenly was jerked awake and able to move again. He jumped out of the bed in no time and stood in front of her.

"What are you doing?"

"I think I'd rather leave" She answered, her pants inside her hands, and she started to walk out of his bedroom.

"No!" He exclaimed, grabbing her arm to hold her back.

She stopped and tilted her head down to look at his hand gripping her arm, and then up at his face, interrogating him with watery eyes.

"No." He repeated in a voice that had found its soft tone again "Don't leave." He felt her slightly relaxing under his grasp and he let go of her arm. "I'm sorry." He whispered and she turned around to face him, her eyes filled with all the mingled emotions she was feeling for him and couldn't hide or repress, no matter how excruciatingly hurtful he could be with her.

"I hate you." She lied, with all her heart.

He gasped and violently tugged her in his arms, squeezing her strongly against him with the force of despair as he bent over to nuzzle her neck, burying his face in the enthralling scent of her warm skin.

"I'm sorry… Please… Don't leave… I'm sorry." He kept on repeating his lips pressed against her nape.

She sensed she was losing every remaining trace of resistance she had. She wanted to leave, she truly did, but it was beyond her will power. She was just a little weak thing in his arms, slowly surrendering to this appealing call of lust. It was raw and she was feeling it as strongly as he was. They both had hurt each other but they both needed to forget they had to give in to this urgency now. No matter what had just happened, there was no room left for any rational thoughts; because it was only desire expressing itself and they both couldn't resist it.

She cupped his face in her hands and slowly pushed it away from her neck to force him to look at her. When he did and their eyes met, she felt absolutely helpless. She felt _deliciously_ helpless. That's how it was and there was nothing she could do to change it. She slightly parted her lips and he avidly threw himself on her to kiss her. The raw rhythm of his fit took her breath away and she gaped through his open lips while he sucked her tongue into his mouth.

Still ardently kissing her, he tightened his embrace and almost made her take off the floor. She gripped him and he strode over to the bed. When their entangled bodies bumped into the edge of it, he pushed her backwards. She fell onto the mattress and hastily started to undo her shirt, her fingers struggling with each button, one after the other. His eyes locked on her, he bent to take his boxers off and then leaned down to her. In a quick gesture, he did the same with her panties and he grabbed her by the hips to pull her to the edge of the bed. She was still unbuttoning her shirt, her hands shaking uncontrollably, expressing all the passion that was demanding to burst. He clenched his jaws and sent her a warning stare, telling her he couldn't wait any longer and when he saw her eyes glittering with desire, he stabbed inside her with his hard shaft in one long deep thrust. She let out a loud moan that sounded almost like a whine and he leaned down to take her hands in his and moved them away from her shirt's buttons. He then stretched them above her head and gathered her wrists in his left hand, while with his right one he confidently got rid of the last undone buttons of her shirt.

As soon as he did, the shirt-tails slid alongside her abdomen, exposing her skin and he placed his hand flat on her belly to let her know she was now undressed like she wanted to be. At the burning contact of his palm on her midriff, she groaned and arched her curve and he shoved deeper and harder inside her. She panted lustfully and threw her head back onto the mattress. He plunged in her cleavage and rubbed his stubble onto her skin, still firmly holding her wrists tied in his hands above her head. She moaned a low "yes" and he greedily bit her. She gaped out of surprise and clenched her fists. Where his bite's trace was, he licked her skin and kissed her and he stopped thrusting, leaving her breathless in expectation. When he sensed her whole body tensed within this extreme yearning, he began to thrust again, faster and she cried out another "yes", louder.

He groaned in her neck and closed his eyes, focusing on his movements to hold back the irrepressible orgasmic wave that was coming inside him. He let go of her wrists to free his hand and straightened up. Now standing at the edge of the bed, he possessively seized her hips and took a pause. A pause to recover and get his breath back. A pause to admire her. She had kept her arms crossed above her head and her spine was beautifully curved in a sensual arch. Her breath was heavy and her belly's skin glistening with sweat. He slid his hands under her ass cheeks and brought her up. She enfolded his waist with her legs to cling on to him and stay close to his hips. They locked eyes and with a longing stare they both called out for more at the same time.

So he began to thrust inside her again. First slowly and deep and then he rammed faster, and faster, and faster. He clutched her hips, planting his nails in her curves and he watched her pant loudly beneath him. "yes. Yes… YES… YES!" she started to cry out frenziedly. But as she was about to reach her climax, he suddenly let go of her hips and pushed her away from him inside the bed. He fell into the mattress, and rolled on his back. He reached out his arms towards her but she was already seated, ready to straddle him.

As soon as he had found his position on the bed she jumped on him and rubbed her wet slit on his cock. "Oh Gawd!" he grunted and he seized her by the waist to lift her above him. She placed her hands flat on his chest and he took his member in his hand to guide it inside her again. She felt the tip of his shaft about to penetrate her and she pushed herself into it, taking him inside her completely. She began to ride him and he gasped, feeling her glistening muscle contracting along his member. She leaned down on his chest and swung her ass above his hips, lifting her up and pushing back down, capturing him inside her core. He wrapped his arms around her and scraped her back sending shiver of pleasure down her spine. She straightened up above him and began to move, faster and faster and faster, gripping his shoulders, scratching his skin and tilting her head back, exhaling moans without restraint, in a hoarse low voice filled with shameless desire.

All of a sudden, she felt the grip of his hands around her wrists and she looked back down at him. In the depth of his blue eyes, she read he was about to come and asking her to let go of herself to welcome her orgasm with him. She threw herself on his face and eagerly took his lips, kissing him with a fervor that seemed to never get fulfilled. His tongue wrapped around her tongue, his intoxicating taste mixed with hers, she kept on swaying on top of him, forcefully; each of her movement pushing his cock deeper inside her and causing her muscles to contract. She rode him again and again and irrepressibly, she felt the delightful tickling sensation taking over her core and making her walls throb when the wave of pleasure hit her inside. In the need for air, she parted from their kiss and sat back up, gasping loudly above him.

She let him thrust inside her a while longer until she heard the growling of his moans echoing with hers. He grabbed her hands in his and squeezed them tight and they reached their orgasm, both shouting hoarse roars of pleasure, liberating their bodies of all the electrifying jolts they had held back until then.

Their hands still entangled, she fell back on his chest, panting. She rubbed her face against his torso and nibbled his wet skin, licking the salty pearls of sweat on the tip of his nipples. He let go of her hands and he gently enfolded her in his arms, cradling her onto him waiting for her breath to find its normal rhythm again.

# # # # #

It had been good. No, not good. It had been great. Just as usual. But now they couldn't use sex as a shelter to hide from reality any longer. Cuddy's breath finally slowed down and went back to normal just as House's did too. He let go of his embrace and stretched his arms out, heavily exhaling the remaining shivers of orgasm out of his body. She moved apart from him and without a word started to button her shirt up.

He watched her without any reaction at first, as she did the first two buttons, but suddenly it acted like a slap in his face. A violent shot of adrenaline quickened his heart and he stared at her in angst.

"You're not leaving, are you?" He asked her, bewildered.

She gasped and her hands freeze, but she stayed silent, her head down.

"Are you?" He repeated, visibly already hurt at the very possibility she might say yes.

"No" She answered in an almost inaudible whisper "I'm not leaving. But… I have nothing to put on to sleep."

He sighed, relieved, and a slight mischievous sparkle lightened up in his eyes.

"Why bother? Just sleep naked!" He exclaimed, smiling fondly at her.

Her hands still clutched on her shirt tails she looked at him and bit her lips, uneasy.

"I'm cold" She said.

But that was a lie and he instantly knew it. He looked at her and most unexpectedly, it hit him violently. Again. _Those three words_. Even if right now, it was hurting him to feel them for her. Hurting like hell. Because he wanted to help her. Say the right words, do the right thing, and make her feel better. But he didn't know how. He felt useless and he hated himself for that. And the only thing he was sure of was that he couldn't show her that he knew she was lying. Because of those three words. So he straightened up and stepped out of the bed. He grabbed his robe on the armchair and leaned down to pick something on the floor.

"Here," He said, handing over one of his tee-shirt to her, "put that on."

She hastily took off her shirt and reached out for the tee-shirt. When she started to slip it on, he widened his eyes, bemused.

"Why don't you take your bra off first?" He asked her in a slight harsh tone. "You're not keeping your bra to sleep? Not an underwire bra… you…"

She remained silent but started to fidget, uncomfortably sliding her hands underneath the tee-shirt to unhook the bra and pulling it out of a sleeve. He closed his eyes to not see her do it. Not in front of him. He wanted to scream, and he could have, because he couldn't stand this fucking awkwardness! Not between them! Not NOW… He sat back on the bed and came close to her. She was staring obstinately down at the mattress and he clenched his fists, a feeling of helplessness taking over his whole body. He didn't know how to do it. And damn, it hurt him so much! He put out his hand and delicately touched her cheek with his fingertips, brushing it gently from her cheekbone to her chin. She held her breath and she slightly rubbed her face onto his palm.

"Do you feel any pain?" He asked her carefully.

She closed her eyes and a few seconds after, a tear rolled down her cheek and died on the hollow of his wrist.

"House please… don't…"

He heavily sighed and removed his hand from her face.

"Don't what?"

"Don't do this. Don't play the doctor… here… now."

"I'm not playing" He said bitterly, clenching his jaws to contain his anger. "This is not a game."

She looked away and puffed. Of course this was not a game. Who better than she could be well aware of that?

"Once you said to me I was a brilliant doctor." He carried on with a low voice "and that was what you liked about me."

She finally raised her face to him with her mouth slightly open and she squinted at him, looking confused and lost.

"That was a long time ago." She answered, trying to decipher what he wanted to tell her.

"But that's what you like about me, right?" He insisted.

She heaved a sigh and cautiously took his hand inside hers.

"House. You're a brilliant doctor. That's a fact I don't deny. But you're a brilliant doctor with anyone… and… I don't want to feel like I'm _anyone_ to you."

"But I don't know how to be someone else."

She repressed a sob that died inside her throat and made her gaped for air. Then she hunched as if she had been stabbed by each one if his words. House saw the look of hurt on her face and he cursed himself for being responsible of it. But he was being honest. He never lied to her, at least that was something she could rely on. That was who he was, with her. And he could do nothing about the fact that who he was had something to do with _being a doctor_. Especially now, because he couldn't pretend he wasn't one and hold his status back while the very idea of losing her just scared him to death.

"Look at me." He asked her in a murmur.

But she stubbornly kept her head down, so close to him but so far away at the same time.

"Cuddy, look at me!" He beseeched. She raised her eyes and met his. "I care. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I know you care." Her voice choked and she inhaled slowly to control her breath.

"I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to do it."He answered and his voice became hoarse and unsure. "I can't help handling this as a doctor. This is what I can do."

"I know."

"I want you to be fine."

"I'm fine." She objected.

He sighed heavily. He could have taken care of this. He could have looked at her lump. And he could have done the exams himself, analyzed them, rationalized them, anticipated their effects, understood their meaning, and cured her. But she didn't want that from him and suddenly he felt lost. But what other choice did he have?

"Ok. You're fine. All right." He said quietly and he took a long deep breath and then sheepishly smiled at her. "Have I got the right to at least ask you some questions?" He required, with begging eyes.

She rose on her knees, crawled towards him and once in front of him, she covered his mouth with her fingers to shush him.

"I'm seeing Dr. Gruber in Princeton General. He's probably not the best gynecologist in the whole United States but he's a good one though. I've already done a mammography and I have an appointment in two days to do an ultrasound of my breast …" She reeled off her eyes locked inside House's wide bemused ones. "I'm gonna be okay." She added, hesitantly slowly sliding her hand down along his chin to free his lips, a little anxious about how he might react to all the information she had just gave him.

But he didn't say a word. He kept on staring at her, breathing loudly through his mouth, as if he had been running a mile. She questioned him with her gaze slightly tilting her head to the side and suddenly he cupped her face and pulled her into him. And he kissed her fervently, with relief, with angst, with hope, with fear. All his feelings mingled in this one single kiss, one that lasted until, unable to breathe, he was forced to part from her lips. Still cradling her face in his hands, he looked at her and a pang of sadness hit him in the chest. He wished he hadn't seen her struggling like she was. He wished he could relax and forget about what had just happened, what he now knew, what was there, inside her… He wished he could move on while at the same time, he perfectly knew he would never be able to do that. And yet he had to; because her eyes were imploring him to.

After a long suspended moment of time, she slid under the sheets and rolled to the side, curling herself up in a ball. He took off his robe and naked again he slithered next to her and wrapped his arms around her, possessively enfolding her in his warmth. He nuzzled her neck and she spooned her body along his. In the darkness of the room, he was beginning to breathe quietly and peacefully again when he felt her slightly wiggling against him.

"House?" She whispered "What if…" He held his breath, waiting. "What if, they have to cut my breast?" He bit his lips, almost up to the threshold of pain, and he squeezed her tighter against him. But he had no word to say, because he had no answer to give. "House?" She called him again with a shaky voice. He took a deep breath and gripped her hands inside his hands strongly.

"You're gonna be okay." He said, hating himself for making her a promise he wasn't sure he could keep.

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**A/N**

_WOW! I'm so happy to hear about so many new readers that are adding their voice to this story!_

_THANK YOU and WELCOME! _

_I know tonight, most of you will watch House, but I hope you'll find a tiny little moment to stop by in here and leave me your thoughts about this new chapter..._

_anyway, have a great time wherever you are! __~ maya_

_To Cosette: ok, ok, je veux bien te donner le lien pour aller lire toute l'histoire sur Fox... qui d'ailleurs n'est pas finie là-bas non plus (à vrai dire, tu m'as complètement attendrie avec l'évocation du vide intersidéral de tes journées! LOL... et puis, un peu stupidement, mais soyons honnête, ça me flatte d'une certaine façon que tu souhaites combler ton ennui avec mon histoire... je serais donc ravie de le faire... mais à UNE condition! au départ, c'est ce que tu as dit, tu ne laissais jamais de revues... puis tu en as laissé 1, puis 2 puis plusieurs alors, maintenant, même quand tu connaitras toute l'histoire, pas question que tu abandonnes cet endroit! donc j'espère bien t'y retrouver MALGRÉ TOUT de temps à autre... bon donc le lien sera à la fin de mon profil perso (normalement tu devrais directement tomber sur l'histoire... sinon, okazou, cherche dans la section "House fan fics", même titre d'histoire... par contre les commentaires sont mélangés avec les chapitres et pour l'instant, il y a presque 5000 posts pour cette histoire donc il te faudra être patiente pour retrouver l'histoire au milieu de tous les commentaires... et comme en plus, je poste avec des chapitres plus courts sur Fox, la numérotation n'est pas la même... oops, bon je me tais, sinon tu vas croire que je veux te décourager! LOL bon et sinon tu REVIENS ICI APRÈS! hein? promis? ;)_


	41. Chapter 41

_Hi everyone! NEW CHAPTER… where you'll find out how House & Cuddy deal with the news in a daily normal context…_

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CHAPTER 41

"Cyclosporiasis" Taub proposed, his contemptuous face sighing in boredom for what seemed to him like an already solved case."

"Oh yeah sure! "House exclaimed cynically "cuz' now we're dealing with clinic leftovers, and of course, to not make it too easy for us to find out the right diagnosis within the first hour, they just spice it up by hiding the most obvious symptoms, like DIARRHEA!.... but then apart from that, of course you're right: it could definitely be cyclosporiasis!..."

"Chemical poisoning?" Thirteen said, fumbling through the file's pages "this man's a plumber. He could have gotten a heavy lead poisoning from all the pipes he's been in contact with throughout the years."

"Of course! Except to have heavy lead poisoning that' would mean he'd have been _licking_ the pipes for almost 20 years, but why not? If he's a very devoted plumber…" He widened his eyes in a most exaggerated appalled expression that made them all lower their gaze.

House was sitting at the end of the conference table and this sudden morning crankiness of his seemed quite unusual. At least unusual now, compared to the rather relaxed good mood he had been in for the last past weeks, months actually now, and truth was his team had become accustomed to this new soft side of him. But now they were all quite taken aback by this "old" him who was unexpectedly back.

"Pneumonia?" Kutner threw into the debate with a hopeful look on his face.

"Pneumonia?" House repeated, staring at him with consternation. "Are you just guessing randomly and proposing things to not be excluded of the game or do you really believe in what you're saying? Cuz' that's much unexpected, considering the symptoms we have here…"

Kutner pouted and lowered his head to hide he was upset. Pneumonia _was_ a plausible diagnosis. That was just not the most obvious one and he had thought House would have liked it but then, he definitely didn't seemed to be in an open-minded state of mind this morning, so _why bother?_ he thought.

"C'mon think dammit! What do you see?" House exclaimed, puffing his annoyance.

They all turned their head towards the white board to overview the symptoms and try to come up with a plausible not too easy solution that would satisfy their cantankerous boss.

FEVER

ABDOMINAL PAIN

WEIGHT LOSS

ANEMIA

"Cancer." Foreman stated in a calm voice, suggesting a so obvious solution it seemed no one had dared to propose it until then.

"NO!" House immediately interrupted him with a bark, sending him a glare. "THIS IS NOT CANCER!" He clenched his teeth and took a quick deep breath before he carried on, in a more controlled tone of voice "White blood cell count is normal. Read the file instead of throwing completely inappropriate solutions like that."

"I could say Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, if you'd pr…"

But Foreman couldn't finish his sentence since House, who was absent-mindedly staring blankly throughout the glass wall suddenly jumped out of his chair and limped outside the room without even a look at his team. They all followed him with their gaze and synchronically shrugged, displaying an "_Ah! Ok…_" look when they saw Cuddy was standing in the hallway. Before House joined her, they all turned their head back refocusing on the file and the medical data they had in front of their eyes, hoping it would help them find the solution. Foreman just gave the two an extra little stare and frowned intrigued but he finally went back to reading the file as well.

When House approached Cuddy, he saw the embarrassment in her eyes and he felt a slight pang of angst inside his chest. He took a deep breath and had to clenched his fist to repress the surge of touching her and hold her it made him feel.

"Is everything ok?" He asked her with worry.

Cuddy had noticed the clutching. She slightly, almost imperceptibly lifted her hand towards his, but she stopped before she could touch him and raised her eyes to him, 'sorry' written all over her pale face.

"Yes everything's fine." She said in a soft low voice, glancing around.

"Then why are you here?" He asked, just a little more harshly than he would have wished to sound.

She stiffened and painfully sustained his gaze, searching deep inside herself the courage to pretend she didn't feel hurt by his aggressive tone.

"I have a meeting at Princeton General this afternoon. I wanted to tell you about that last night but…"

"A meeting? With Dr. Gruber?"

She widened her eyes, surprised.

"No a meeting, like in room-full-of-administrators-talking-about-budget meeting. Why would it be with Dr. Gruber? I told you I wasn't seeing him until two days."

"Yeah indeed. That's what you said. But how can I be sure that you're not telling me another lie?"

Cuddy's mouth dropped open and she stared at him with a flabbergasted look, above all deeply hurt by his accusation.

"House!... I never lied to you!"

"No. You chose to hide the truth from me, that's worse…" He stated, coming slightly closer, almost touching her.

His piercing blue eyes were staring at her and she felt suddenly plainly aware of where she was standing and uneasiness spread inside her and made her lose her breath.

"Are we having this conversation now? Here?" She asked him, lowering her eyes and looking down at her feet, feeling guilty, feeling unsure, feeling bad and sad.

"No we're not. You're right." He answered embittered. "We don't HAVE this conversation. We CAN'T have this conversation. This conversation is taboo. I got it. Sorry."

She bit her bottom lip and try to find tenderness in his eyes but his look was undecipherable. She felt like she was drowning in the middle of the hallway and suddenly it became urgent for her to be elsewhere.

"Listen, I just came to tell you I was going to be busy today. Maybe until late and I didn't know if I could go to your place after my meeting, but you know what? I think we'd better decide right now that we should stay on our own tonight…"

There was a long and awful silent between them, while House narrowed his eyes and searched in hers to decipher what she was willing to do. He was feeling lost and useless and he was conscious that this mixed sensations were getting him angry, but what was worse, that his anger was aimed at her when he perfectly knew she had done nothing to deserve it and he already resented himself for acting like that. He took a deep breath and clutched his hands on his cane's handle.

"Ok." He said coldly.

These two syllables went through her heart like two sharpened arrows. She briefly closed her eyes to recover from the sensation and took a deep breath.

"I…uh…" She started to stammer.

He raised his eyebrows quizzically and she felt completely defenseless in front of his inquisitive stare… again… she hated that feeling but she hated the fact that she could do nothing about it more. And yet, there was nothing that she wished more than to be that strong, forceful and confident woman she had always been. But things had irremediably changed and the weight of awkwardness was already hanging over them. In that very moment, in broad day light, standing in the middle of the hallway, where busy people and medical staff were passing by, striding along in every direction in a determined pace, she felt like a lost child who needed a hand to guide her towards a safe place. She felt a violent need to snuggle against him and disappear inside his protective arms. There, was her safe place. There, was the warmth she was longing for. But it seemed so far away now and she really felt puzzled and confused.

"I'm busy." She stated, raising her chin and mentally chasing away her fragile status with a resolute tone.

"Yes, you are." He replied, slightly and almost unnoticeably disenchanted.

For a second he looked away towards his team, through the glass wall of the conference room. They were all studying the patient file with great attention, or were perfectly faking to do so, conscientiously avoiding gazing in their direction. When he turned his head back, she was already gone. He only caught the sight of her frail silhouette, walking away and vanishing behind the hallway's corner. He heaved a sigh and went back in his office. He had barely stepped inside that every pair of eyes were on him, interrogating.

"What did Cuddy want?" Thirteen dared to ask first.

House briefly glanced at her and then turned his head away in the direction of the corner behind which he had seen her disappear.

"Dinner's plan confusion!" He exclaimed in a strange ironic tone. "She wanted to eat Indian. I was up for Mexican…"

"And?" Thirteen asked with a little bantering smile.

"We canceled. Not in a zesty mood for spicy food."

House smirked and his gaze darkened and it became suddenly impossible to define where the joke line was clearly standing. The four exchanged embarrassed looks over the conference table. These past weeks, even if none of them had had the nerve to try to confirm the rumor, they all were quite sure about the fact that their boss and The Boss were having an affair. It was so obvious that this little cat and mouse game of theirs was no longer a game and that they now shared more than just sexual innuendos… They had stepped the step forwards. Of course they had. Everyone was positive about that. Cameron had sworn that even if House didn't exactly "mention" it, he had in his way admitted the fact. It had to be that way. No one had really been surprised for that matter, since it seemed that House, the cranky lonely antisocial doctor could soften for only one woman, and Cuddy, the busy forceful inaccessible Dean would let no other man but him treat her like he did. There was something going on between them. For a long time. And now it was concrete. They could tell by that very special indescribable mood in which House was every morning when he arrived at the hospital; or every evening when he hastily left. They could tell by the reduced number of pills they witnessed him pop less and less every day. They could tell by the way he was smiling. Yes he was. That had been a strange thing at first but actually they really had seen him smile. For no reason. Or at least for no House rational reason, which meant for every other good reasons any human being could have. He was just simply in a good mood. Was he happy? That was something nobody had dared to wonder yet. All they could acknowledge was the difference. Because even if he remained exactly the same, House was not his ancient self anymore. He was a man. And it suited him well. _She_ suited him well.

Yet, the only blurry part of all that was the serious nature of their involvement towards each other. Could House be in love? Oddly, despite the good mood, the smiles and everything, House being in love was still something that stood beyond conceivable. Cuddy and he were together. Well at least, everyone assumed they were having fun together. But were they sharing feelings? No one could tell that. Chase had an underground poll going on, taking bets about how long this "thing" was going to last. Some jealous resentful doctors had rushed to place their money on a one week orgy. Money they had already lost of course. But to be honest, the truth was that almost everybody would have lost or been about to. Because no one had dared to bet further than half a year, which already seemed like an eternity when they considered it was the time a woman was supposed to be standing House. Or the time during which House would want to sleep with the same woman without getting bored or weary. So Chase had been forced to adjust the ongoing bets, as time passed by and it had become a sort of race against the calendar. All of this was not really a poll anymore but everyone who wished could keep placing bets. A rumor said that someone had put a hundred on _THE_ "till death do them part" bet, but Chase wouldn't say their name. Some thought it was Cameron, others pretended it was Chase himself, trying to confuse the betters, or maybe Wilson who eventually always remained an incorrigible optimist. Actually no one knew, and certainly not House, who was the last one to be aware of that ongoing underground emulation around his sentimental life…

The team carefully lifted their gaze and looked at House. He was staring blankly in the white board direction but it was obvious his eyes were seeing past the actual real objects of the room. His mind appeared to be elsewhere, wandering in a place that seemed to put him in a real melancholic state of mind. No one dared to ask anything or disturb the heavy silence that was reigning in the room. But at some point, Kutner decided things had to move forwards. He cleared his throat and shyly asked what they should now do… about the patient.

House turned his head towards them, abruptly jolted awake by the sound of his voice. He narrowed his eyes for a few second, staring at Kutner, as if he was still trying to decide if he had liked his little intervention or not.

"Do the tests." He exclaimed, waving his hand towards the exit door in a dismissing gesture.

Taub raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Tests? What tests?"

House shook his head, appalled.

"What do you mean what tests? Come on! Haven't you learned anything in two years? Tests! Medical tests: blood, stool, I don't know! Sweat, hair… I mean be creative! Knock yourself off! Daddy gives you carte blanche… »

He gave the four a strange smirk and without any warning, he turned on his heels and left the room.

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**A/N**

_No spoiler… only ONE PROMISE: this "funbags" storyline has a purpose… trust me! :)_

_Now I'm eagerly waiting for your comments_

_Have a nice day ~ maya_

_Ps: oh! And for those who are interested, I also post a NEW CHAPTER on "The Mayfield Healing Process"…_


	42. Chapter 42

_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER (sorry I couldn't upsate yesterday, because of the 'technical glitch'... _

_I hope you'll enjoy reading it_

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**CHAPTER 42**

There was no other place he would think of. No other person he would want to see. He walked in and silently shut the door behind him. Then he sheepishly came towards the desk and sat down on the chair, resting his hands on his cane's handle solemnly.

"So?" Wilson asked, raising his head and staring at him with glittering sparkles of excitement in his eyes. "Did you get rid of Cuddy?"

House frowned, and Wilson shot him a bewildered look.

"Come on House!" He exclaimed as if it was the most well-known news in the city, "Poker! ... Tonight! At my place! We've planned this days ago! And believe me, the cardiologists are really dying to get their revenge but we're gonna scalp them just like we did last time! Hahaha…"

"Gruber."

"No. It's Benton and Carver…"

"He's in Princeton General."

House had this very specific resolute tone of his, saying he was being serious and not in the mood for joke. Wilson sighed resignedly, for he perfectly knew he was no longer in charge of the conversation.

"And? What about him?"

"Is he one of your people?"

"What do you mean _my people_?"

"An oncologist?" House specified, sounding slightly annoyed.

Wilson puffed, upset, but he gave a real thought to the question.

"Gruber, you said? ... Hmmm, sorry doesn't ring a bell. Is he new?"

"I dunno."

"Why would you want to check on a doctor you don't know?

"Forget it. You don't know him either … just… Forget it."

"House?" Wilson looked suddenly really concerned and even a little bit scared "Are you ok?"

House smirked. Wilson was so predictable.

"I'm fine. I mean, sorry to disappoint you but I'm not dying if that's what you're asking. So you'll have to wait a little longer before you can claim the special porn's collection I'm keeping just for you!"

Wilson shook his head in dismay but he also almost imperceptibly sighed of relief and then he squinted at his friend, a little bit intrigued. House sustained his inquiring gaze until at some point he glared unequivocally at him to end the staring quizzing contest.

He had come here because the weight was too heavy, because he couldn't keep the news just for himself. He needed to get rid of it, share it, maybe dissect it. And Wilson was the only one. The only one he trusted enough to do that. Not only he was, for so many reasons, but in an ironic and frightening way, there also was a possibility that he could turn out to be the most indicated one.

But it wouldn't work. It wasn't the right moment. So, most unexpectedly, House stood up and started to head to the exit. He had reached the threshold when Wilson called him back.

"House? Is it your patient? Cancer?"

"Why on earth would you jump so easily on the cancer diagnosis? ... Oh that's right I forgot, cuz' you're an oncologist. You prefer them when they're dying. It fits your caring needy side better." House snapped, and before Wilson had the time to process this whole odd and incomprehensible thing, he walked out of the room and left him alone, wondering what the hell had just happened.

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The conference room was empty. The team was doing the tests he had ordered them to do without having specifically named them, which meant they would probably be away, busy, for at least two or three more hours, wondering if they had made the right choices and keeping adding some more tests just in case they had forgotten the most important ones.

House crossed the room and went to his office. He looked around him to all the familiar objects that were there. The books, the record player, the old TV, the red and grey giant tennis ball… It was supposed to make him feel better but it didn't. He sat down on his ottoman and took a deep breath. _She has a lump... She has a lump._ That voice, in his head, it killed him. He'd been living with that voice since the moment he had felt it under his fingers. Under her soft skin. The round tender and warm flesh of her breasts. He was fondling them. And then … he had felt it. It was like a nut. Like a small peach pit. Just only less hard. _She has a lump... She has a lump._ He closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. So strongly, it was as if he wanted to scrap his skin off his skull.

God! He hated himself! How could he have missed that? He had held her breasts inside the palm of his hands so often. He had put his lips on them. He had rubbed his nose against them, buried his face in them, nibbled them, massaged them … and he hadn't felt it! That was so not like him. It terrified him. The fact that he hadn't been able to see that coming, identify it, sense it. How could he have let that happened? _Because she's not a patient, you moron! Because you don't touch her like she was one. Because you don't want to … Because you lose your common sense when you hold her. Because none of the things she inspires you are rational ... Because she makes you feel like no one does … Because …_

He closed his eyes and breathed deep once again. It was invading him. He had wondered many times how it would be to feel it again. And he'd thought it would have felt good. But it didn't. Love was harrowing. Confusing. Painful. _She has a lump... She has a lump._

Sleep. He needed to sleep. He had barely slept the night before. He couldn't. He had held her in his arms almost the whole night through, trying to soothe her restless sleep, waiting for her agitated breath to calm down. And while he was holding her, he had felt each and every nerve jolt she had had against his body. And each time, he'd wanted to squeeze her a little tighter, to appease her, but he hadn't dare move. He was so afraid to wake her up. Even when at some point the throbbing pain in his leg had commanded him to stretch his body, he had stayed still, holding her. Still and silently suffering, barely breathing.

But at dawn, he had finally fallen asleep. Almost passed out from exhaustion. He remembered the last time he had looked at the clock, the numbers were saying 5.10, and he had relaxed his embrace. Maybe he had been able to escape this heavy distressful feeling that was clutching his chest for half an hour, maybe slightly more but it wasn't 6am when he'd felt her wiggling in his arms and carefully slithering away from him to get out of bed. He had held his breath. He had kept his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep. But he didn't need to see her to know. She had picked up her stuff, very slowly and she had silently left the room. For some painful minutes, during which he had seen the faint light coming from the living room, he had pictured her putting her clothes back on. He had waited a little while until he was sure she would have been almost completely dressed and then he had stepped out of bed. He had put his robe on and limped out of his bedroom and in the hallway, towards her. She had her hand on the doorknob when she had heard him approaching. It had made her slightly jumped out of surprise but she had managed to hide it and keep up a neutral face.

"Did I wake you up?" She had said with her voice low, her hand still holding the doorknob "I'm sorry I didn't wa…"

"Why are you leaving? It's early." He had interrupted her, stating this bare truth with no anger, no malice, and no provocation.

"I … I couldn't sleep." She had lied, uncomfortably shifting on her feet. "And I still have to go to my place and change and…"

He had stared at her and she had fallen silent. Then he had heard her gulp and a pang of sadness had violently hit him under his ribs.

"Of course. I understand." He had lied too, talking with a soft voice "You should go."

"I'll see you later today in the hospital then?" She had asked, trying to give an enthusiastic fit to her question.

"Sure." He had whispered, with a rasping voice.

And then, the little click of his door, closing behind her. And then silence. Again. He had looked at the clock and when he had read 5.50, the disturbing sensation of pang at the heartstrings had come back, hitting him stronger than before. He had looked around him, searching for the reassuring shape of the small orange bottle of Vicodin. There was one on his desk, one he had forgotten about. One that was lying there half empty and that he hadn't needed to use in a long time. He had reached out for it and with a shaky hand he had taken two pills and pushed them down in his throat. _She has a lump... She has a lump._

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"I checked that Gruber guy you asked me about… and he's definitely not one of my people!"

House had his head cradled inside his hands. He slowly removed them from his face and looked up. Wilson was standing there with his hands on his hips, and was waiting, his eyes wide opened, interrogating him.

"He's a gynecologist!" He then suddenly exclaimed.

House kept looking at him, but remained silent.

"House! You didn't ask me about Gruber for you!"

There was nothing to laugh about in that sad truth but seeing how upset Wilson seemed to be, he couldn't repress the amused grin that flickered on his lips.

"Thank God! Cuz' I'm not very fond of the idea of a man touching me down there, you know…"

"I'm not joking."

"Well me neither!"

"It's about Cuddy." Wilson confidently stated, cutting the little guessing game short.

House heaved a defeated sigh and looked away.

"You know, for a moment I stupidly thought you had knocked her up!"

House turned his head back towards him and frowned disapprovingly.

"And I was stunned! … I mean wow! Gregory House, the dashing fifty-year-old cranky doctor who's never loved anyone else but himself…"

House rolled his eyes, faking to be shocked.

"But finally, he'd have found a woman worthy enough to accept to be forever tied up with this huge thing! And I don't know… I was kinda happy too… because…"

"Cuddy's not pregnant." House suddenly uttered, interrupting Wilson's monolog.

Wilson stopped and stared at his friend gravely.

"No indeed, she's not" He said in a serious tone. "And you already confirmed it to me by the way you were not at all surprised when I told you Gruber's specialty, because I'm sure you already knew he was a gynecologist."

House clenched his jaws uneasy. But, deep inside him he felt relieved because it was in moments like that when he could tell why he and Wilson were friends.

"You knew," Wilson carried on, "but you came to me anyway and asked if he was a oncologist…" He sighed heavily. "House? What's wrong with Cuddy?"

He looked really concerned and anxious. House gasped to catch a deep breath of air and a faint disillusioned smile formed on the corner of his lips.

"She has a lump."

Wilson' mouth dropped open and he widened his eyes in astonishment.

"What? Where? When did you find out? How? Is she ok?"

"You know that's exactly the calm and very helpful reaction I was expecting from you." House said sarcastically.

Wilson looked down at his feet, embarrassingly.

"And to answer to your brimming flow of questions: yes, she has a lump. Where? In her right breast. When did I find out? Yesterday. How? …" He shot him an outrageous stare, "And … I don't know if she's ok. Cuz' she won't tell me."

"What do you mean she won't tell you?" Wilson looked at him in disbelief.

"I found about it yesterday but she already knew since last week. And she didn't tell me."

"Wow!" Wilson puffed and scratched his head in discomfort. "But you can understand her. I mean you know she's probably scared."

"I don't know if she is! That's my point!" House exclaimed, his voice rising in anger. "She doesn't want to talk about that with me. She wouldn't even let me have a look at it!"

"House? … Do you want me to examine her?" Wilson asked him very carefully, not sure if it was the right thing to propose.

House sat up straight and stiffened

"Will it be too much to ask to not mention cancer just yet?" He said with bitterness, betraying with a slight wobbling voice his feeling of helplessness.

"Of course! That's not what I meant. You don't need me to know there're plenty of minor reasons to have a lump in the breast."

"But what if it is? What if it is cancer?"

Wilson sighed with a sorry face.

"You can't be sure yet. Not until there are tests either confirming or ruling out that possibility. You're a diagnostician. You of all the people should know that."

"She's seeing that Gruber, the day after tomorrow. She said he thinks it's probably a cyst. She has to do some more tests."

"There! You see! It's probably nothing…"

A heavy silence settled between the two. House looked away, beyond the waving vertical fringes of his curtains, towards outside, trying to escape this discomforting suffocating sensation.

"What do I do now?" He murmured, almost for himself.

"You talk to her."

"Don't you listen to anything I'm saying? She doesn't want to talk!" He sighed. "She rejected me today, saying we should stay apart tonight."

"Then you don't listen to her. You insist. And if she still doesn't want to talk, you just stay there with her, and you comfort her. You let her know you're here."

"Did you at least once put your advice in practice? I'm curious … Because you've divorced… three times! So I'm not sure if I should listen to you!" House said, with a crooked smile, in a poor attempt at making things more relaxed.

Wilson gave him his smile back and shrugged.

"Says Mister Bachelor! Cuz' at least, that means, I had convinced them to marry me first."

"You bribed them! With flowers and gifts and dinners in fancy restaurants! So of course they eventually yielded. But me, I won Cuddy with my irresistible charms, and nothing more!"

"Yeah sure!" Wilson playfully laughed, but then his spontaneous outburst inappropriately echoed in the room, so he shut up and smiled sheepishly.

"Everything will be fine, House." He added quietly, trying to sound as much convincing as he could.

Then he walked a few steps backwards and started to turn around to leave.

"I guess that means Poker night is cancelled?" He asked, already knowing the answer.

House nodded. Wilson gave a last reassuring smile and he left the office.

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**A/N**

_Thank you again so very much for your kind and enthusiastic comments. this is so rewarding and a real kick to see how committed you are to this story. THANK YOU!_

_I hope, as we're going to explore it further, that I won't disappoint you with the direction I've chosen to take for the plot..._

_(to huddles777) 'funbags storyline' = lump in the breast thing... and yes indeed, this is not for nothing ... so I'm not spoiling here, but I just felt the need to say it, since I think at some point, maybe some of you will start yelling at me... :)_

_have a nice day ~ maya_


	43. Chapter 43

_YAY! another Monday has arrived!! I'm so happy...go #House!_

_speaking of which, HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER... where it's obvious that House, although irresistibly confused, has NO intention of doing nothing about it... :)_

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**CHAPTER 43**

The day had been long and she was exhausted. She was slowly climbing the stairs of her steps when she saw a dark shape sat on the bench near her front door, which stood up as soon as she approached. Even though she felt no fear, a rush of mingled emotions took over her whole body. She repressed them back and rummaged in her purse as calmly as she could to take her key. She breathed deeply to slow down her heart which was racing in her chest and slid the key in the lock. Despite him standing in the dark, she could sense the intensity of his stare on her and it burnt her inside.

"How long have you been here, waiting?" She finally asked, looking down at her hand, avoiding turning her head in his direction.

"I don't know." His voice answered throatily.

"Why haven't you come inside?"

"I don't have a key."

"But you know where it is."

"Yes. But you wanted us to stay apart tonight so I didn't want to intrude." He answered with a slight bitterness in his tone.

"Why are you here then?" She said, a little edgy.

He stepped out of the shadowed corner and came under the faint light of her porch, allowing her to finally see his features. He looked weary and a bit sad.

"Because…" He started in an unsure whisper "I wanna have this conversation. Now. With you."

"What conversation?"

"Just open the door and let me go inside… please."

She furtively glanced at him and caught his begging eyes. This fleeting glimpse of touching fragility made her gasp and she turned the key inside the lock. She pushed the door open and stepped in her house, keeping the doorknob in her hand to let him in. He hesitantly entered after her and stayed at the threshold, searching into her emerald eyes, waiting for her to give him a sign. His gaze on her was so powerful that she shuddered at the sensation and it sent tingles in the small of her back. She slowly let go of her grip on the knob and he seized it to shut the door closed. He rested his cane against the wall and then carefully approached her, his eyes locked with hers within each movement he was making to close the distance between them. When he finally stood in front of her, he reached out his hand and without taking his eyes off of her he took her purse and briefcase out of her hand and bent over to put them on the floor. Then he stood up again and slowly lifted his arms to her waist until he touched her hips and enfolded her and then wrapped her into his embrace. She sighed in abandon and he leaned down to her face to take her mouth, gently pressing his lips on her lips. He kissed her smoothly and she parted her lips to let him taste her sweetened juice with his tongue. For a moment, he felt as if her body was literally melting in his arms and he almost had to carry her to help her keep her balance. He held her possessively against him, placing one hand flat between her shoulder blades, the other one pulling the small of her back to him. She moaned in his mouth, between his lips and he felt the warmth of her breath brushing his palate. He squeezed her tighter and closed his eyes, invaded by an overwhelming wave of tenderness that he suddenly couldn't handle any longer.

He stopped kissing her and released her free, relaxing his arms around her. She said nothing but looked up at him with intrigued eyes. He took a small step back and a shy smile flickered on the corner of his lips.

"How did your meeting go?" He asked, not really knowing what to say, not really caring about the answer either.

"Fine." She answered in a neutral but slightly dismissing tone. "I'm just exhausted."

He felt a pang of angst clutching his chest. He couldn't help but speculate about this exhaustion and the fact that it could be a related symptom to her lump, but he bit his tongue inside his mouth and held back the irrepressible urge to do an anamnesis on her. Because he knew he couldn't. He knew that wasn't what she wanted him to do. And he had come here to try. Try to be that man she wanted him to be. _Not a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover_. He came closer again and grabbed her gently by the hips to pull her into him again.

"Do you want me to run you a bath?" He asked with a genuine fit of tender care. "A steaming hot bubble bath? »

It was tempting but she bit her lips and wriggled in his arms to extricate her from his embrace.

"No thanks. I think I'll just take a quick shower and change myself… Have you eaten yet?"

"No." He said lowering his eyes.

"Grab something in the fridge if you want. I won't be long."

She lifted her up on her tiptoes and gave him a quick peck on the lips. He watched her walk down the hallway and into her bedroom. Before those mixed unnatural feelings invaded him, he wouldn't have hesitated a second. He would have followed her in the bathroom. But in that moment, all he could do was standing there, not daring to move and it hurt him. He covered his face with both his hands and rubbed his forehead, drawing small circles with the tip of his fingers, trying to wash away his feeling of helplessness with this little powerless gesture. When he heard the sound of the flowing water, he sighed and headed towards the kitchen.

He was picking random food in her fridge, absent-mindedly eating, not really enjoying the sensation, when he felt her presence in the room. He turned around and there she was, standing at the doorstep, bare foot, with a black yoga pants and a light blue loose sweater. She had removed her make-up and her hair was casually gathered into a jumble bun held all together with a Chinese chopstick. She looked like a teenager. She looked amazing and less tense. She smiled fondly at him. Just the vision of that smile gave him an immediate and soothing feeling of relief.

"Hey" She said, approaching.

"Hey! feeling better?"

She came near him and he promptly put the food he was holding on the counter next to him to welcome her in his embrace. She slid between his arms and snuggled in his chest, resting her forehead against his torso. He heard her take a deep long breath and he ran his fingers in her hair. She curled up even closer against him and he gently brought her face up to his, cupping her jaws in the palm of his hands. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Go relax in your couch while I'm picking something for you to eat." He said in a low voice.

"I'm not sick! I don't need a nurse!" She instantly protested in a high-pitched shout, irrepressibly stiffening.

_Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover._

"That's not what I said" He answered evenly, his ice-blue eyes locked in hers, moving his hands down to her waist. "You've had a hard day. You need to rest. And I'm not cooking you a whole dinner. Just something to eat."

She pouted, slightly beginning to yield to the quiet logic of his arguments and he felt her body unwind under his touch.

"Ok. Just a sandwich then. I'm not really hungry."

Not hungry. He clenched his jaws and mentally counted to ten to divert his mind from this inexorable need to analyze everything as a potential symptom.

"Go! I'll join you in five minutes."

She turned on her heels and left the kitchen. A few minutes later, he joined her in the living room, carrying some food on a tray. She was lying down on her couch, curled up under a woolen blanket like inside a safe cocoon. She had her eyes closed and when he saw her so peaceful, he put the tray onto the coffee table beside the sofa and sat down next to her to look at her. She felt the weight of his body alongside hers and she started to fidget to straighten up. She sat up next to him and blinked a few time, repressing a yawn. He reached out his hand to her face and caressed her cheek.

"Sandwich is on the table if you want it."

"Will you be mad at me if I say that I don't?" She asked him with puppy eyes.

He placed his hands on both the rounded shape of her shoulders and pulled her to him gently.

"No I won't." He said gently. "Come here."

She let him guide her against him and she rested her head on his shoulder. They stayed enfolded in each other's arms for a long suspended moment before he broke the silent with a low grave voice.

"Let's forget this whole thing."

"The sandwich thing?" She asked unconvinced by her own question.

"No. The "other thing" thing." He barely needed to clarify.

She took a deep breath and straightened up again to face him.

"I can't forget this." She said looking him in the eyes.

"I know. I'm not saying you should. I'm just saying… let's forget you told me…"

"I didn't tell you. I know that's why you're mad at me."

He stared intensely deep into her eyes and gathered all the courage he had to carry on. _Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover._

"No. I'm not mad at you. Let's forget you didn't tell me."

"Why?" She asked puzzled

"Because… that's what you want."

She bit her bottom lips and lowered her gaze.

"Lisa. I was wrong. You don't need me to take care of this. You were right. I just… I mean… it took me by surprise … but I promise you… I will forget about it if that's what you want. I can forget it."

"No you can't." She said raising her face to meet his eyes again.

"Yes I can."

Delicately, carefully, he came closer and cupped her face with his hands. She gaped and he leaned down to kiss her. He just brushed her lips with his lips, barely nibbling the pulp and he moved apart to study her reaction. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes full of confusion. But they were glistening with desire; and beseeching for more.

"Let me show you that I can." He repeated huskily.

He slowly slid his hands away from her face and then, overwhelmed by a sudden yearning, she gripped his shoulders to pull him into her.

"Show me." She blew with a trembling voice

He responded to her compelling outburst and threw his arms around her, enveloping her shivering body and pressing it against him possessively.

_Try. Not to be a doctor. Just a man. Just her lover._

And in that very instant, there was no doubt for him that he was.

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**A/N**

_and now what do you expect? haaaa, it might probably turn out to be exactly that!... LOL_

_have a GOOD House's night! ~ maya_


	44. Chapter 44

**_I hope you're still enjoying the ride... now fasten your seat belt cuz' HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER! :)_**

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**** CHAPTER 44 ****

He slowly removed the chopstick that was holding her hair up in a bun and it came cascading down on her shoulder. He tossed the stick away and enveloped her nape with his long hands, placing both his thumbs on her cheekbones. She slightly stretched her neck and closed her eyes, breathing deeply. He held her visage, offered inside his hands, and the wondrous beauty of her delicate features felt almost hurtful for him to look at. An incredible wave of desire invaded him and he dived to kiss her. His mouth met her mouth and instantly she parted her lips and nibbled him greedily. He grunted and she stretched her neck higher to give herself to his kisses. He gently stroked her skin with his nose and then licked her behind the ear. She shuddered and he put his hands behind her back to hold her against him. She placed hers flat on his torso and pushed him against the backrest. He followed her movement and slithered to sit deeper into the sofa. She gripped his arms and pulled herself into him to straddle him. He slid his hands under her sweater and caressed the burning bare skin of her hips. Seated on top of his lap, she arched her back and rousingly rubbed her crotch along his pelvis. He felt the rush of blood stiffening his shaft and he moaned throatily as his yearning became more and more uncontainable. She cupped his face and leaned down to capture his moans inside her mouth. He let her suck his tongue and bit his lips. Her taste was intoxicating and each time he drank a sip of her, his member became harder and throbbing inside his pants. He clang on to her and moved his hands higher under her sweater to keep on exploring her enthralling body. His fingers met her bra's hook but she started to wriggle to extricate from his embrace. Short of breath, he interrogated her with a puzzled gaze. She smiled reassuringly and moved away from his lap. Her eyes still locked with his, she kneeled down on the floor and positioned herself between his legs. She promptly unzipped his jeans and liberated his cock out of his boxers. The sensation gave him a thrill but nothing compared to the electrifying shiver that shook his spine when she straightened up above his hips and took his shaft inside her mouth. He gasped and groaned and he grasped her shoulders tightly as if he needed to hold on to a solid anchor to not lose it all already. But her lips and her tongue and her throat sucking him in and out felt almost too much to bear, so good he thought he couldn't contain the wave that was growing in him any longer. He pulled her away from his hips and lifted her up. He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her glittering eyes with a confused mix of wonderment, gratitude and angst. "_What are you doing to me?"_ his eyes seemed to say.

"What?" She asked, sustaining his stare with a false ingenuous look.

But he couldn't explain what. Neither how incredibly alive she made him feel nor how painful the fear he had to lose her was. A fear, which made him want to keep her there, in his arms, and stop the time forever. It was irrational and frightening, even for him.

"What?" She insisted, with a compelling pout.

As the one and only answer, he drew her face into his and kissed her with all the energy that was contained in his unspoken words. His passionate outburst set off a wild response in her and they devoured each other's face greedily, biting each other's skin like they would never get enough of it. He moved apart first and he looked at her, panting and glowing lustfully above him. Her face was a breathtaking touching sensual mess and he couldn't resist to its beauty. She was overwhelming and he felt the sudden urge to hear her cry and moan without restraint. He wanted her to lose control, forget about this fucking shit inside her and give herself to his caresses. And he needed that as much as she did.

"Lie down" He told her with a gaze full of pleasuring promises.

She complied without a hesitation and stretched her body on the couch, allowing him to kneel at her feet. He untied the lace of her yoga pants and put it off, slowly sliding it along her legs. Then he got hold of her panties and took them off as well. She didn't move. She stared into his eyes and waited. He pressed on her knee caps and spread her legs open. She slightly shivered and he leaned down to her thighs, compellingly placing them on both sides of his shoulders. He grabbed her ass cheeks to give her a hoist up and she reached out her hands to touch his face. He dived in her sex and opened her with his tongue. She exhaled a cry of lust and arched her curves higher while he began to lick her clit. She couldn't repress the incredible thrill it gave her and almost threw them both off balance. But he firmly grabbed her thighs and steadied her grip around his neck. She combed his hair with her fingers, scratching more forcefully into his head each time she felt a wave of pleasure running inside her. He kept on sucking her nub and her moans became louder and hoarser. He slid one hand under her sweater to fondle her midriff. When his hands climbed higher and reached the hem of her bra's cup, she promptly seized them in hers and guided them lower to her ass. He stopped kissing her and straightened up. Her thighs gradually relaxed and she moved them apart from his shoulders to lie back down on the couch.

"Did you like that?" He asked her confidently.

She threw her head back and moaned one last time. "Yes" She panted, holding on to the armrest behind her. He smiled and seized her left leg in his hands to lift it up, placing her foot on the top of the sofa's backrest. She didn't need to be aroused more but he couldn't get enough of her abandoned whispers. He placed his right hand on her warm sex. She was open and wet and he delved two fingers inside her and slowly thrust them in and out her juicy core. She closed her eyes and arched her back, giving herself unconditionally.

"And that? Do you like that?" He asked, short of breath, carried away by the enthralling image of her body shamelessly responding to his caress.

"Hmm, yes!" She gasped and she clutched her hands tighter onto the armrest, making her knuckles turn white.

This vision was a turn-on for any man. And it sent him to the limits of his own self-control. He couldn't wait any longer to have her. He slid his fingers out of her which made her protest with a raspy groan. She opened her eyes and pouted disapprovingly when she saw him step out of the couch. But soon her pout turned into a smile when he took his pants and boxers off.

"Oh yes! Fuck me." She blew when he joined her on the couch again.

"Not me!" He said and before she could protest again, he grabbed her by the wrists and compellingly made her sit up straight. He positioned himself seated in the couch and pulled her into him "You, fuck me. You do that so well."

Without being asked twice, she swiftly straddled him and stabbed herself with his hard cock. The warm and glistening contact of her inner walls made him gasp and he fiercely gripped her waist. She rocked her hips back and forth while at the same time, in a train of agitated gestures, she began to unbutton his shirt. He took hold of her sweater and tried to lift it up. Her fingers on his shirt started to tremble and got muddled up with his buttonhole. He gently seized them in his hands and pulled them away.

"Let me take care of this." He said, tenderly.

While he started to unbutton his shirt, she placed her hands on the rounded shape of his shoulders and kept on swaying her hips slowly. He clenched his jaws trying to keep focused on his shirt. Up and down, in and out, back and forth. _God! It felt so good_. He undid the last button and spread the shirt tails open. She instantly placed her hands on his chest and rubbed his skin forcefully. He grunted out of pleasure and got hold of her sweater again. She imperceptibly stiffened when he lifted it up and took it off. His hands then climbed behind her back and he seized her bra hook but she couldn't contain the jolt and he moved his hands away.

"What?" He asked her intrigued

She plunged to his face and diverted his attention with a kiss.

"Nothing," she blew in his ear, "you didn't take your shirt off."

He straightened up a little and wiggled to get rid of his shirt. She leaned down and helped him peel off the sleeves of his arms. Then she grabbed his biceps tightly and immobilized him against the backrest. She speeded up her pace and rocked faster, making him gasp for air and moan irresistibly. At some point, carried away by her pleasure, she let go of his arms and planted her nails onto his chest. She scraped him and he seized her hips making her slow down her movements.

"Slower!" He whispered out of breath "You are making this too good to last."

"And?" She teased him with a mischievous smile.

"I want this to last!" He blew huskily "You're so fucking good. I don't want this to stop."

She blushed and a shiver made her shudder in his arms.

"Lisa. Your body drives me crazy. You're so incredibly beautiful…"

She bent over and hid her face inside his neck. He unhooked her bra and tried to slide it along her arms, but she shrank inside his neck and the straps got caught in the bend of her arms. He delicately seized her shoulders and pushed her away from him.

"What's wrong?" He asked her with a growing worry.

"Nothing." She said with a forced smile.

He peeled off her bra and she cupped his face in her hands. She leaned down to kiss him and he placed his hands on her hips, pulling them into him and motioning her to move again. She began to rock on top of him and he pushed his erection deep inside her. He bent over to her chest and licked her collarbone. She stretched her neck and he nibbled the rounded shape of her shoulder. Desire slowly amplified again in both their bodies and her sways became more languorous and undulating.

"Oh yes! Fuck me like that! Gawd, don't stop!"

He wrapped his arms around her and nose-dived between the warm curves of her breasts. Carried away by an irrational yearning, he took one in his mouth and rubbed the other lustfully with the palm of his hand. He had just started to lick her nipple when she cupped his face and tried to turn his head away from her chest.

"No." She murmured.

He didn't hear her and didn't notice she had stopped moving either. He merely couldn't get enough of her and it was nothing else than a sane, though uncontrollable, outburst of tenderness and every other passionate feelings she was inspiring him in that very intimate moment. He kept on rubbing his face onto her breast and nibbled her areola but she brutally grabbed him and pushed him away from her. He freeze and frowned, narrowing his eyes quizzically.

"What?.."

She bit her lips with a guilty look and turned her head away from him.

"What? Tell me! Did I hurt you?"

"No! That's not that… It doesn't hurt! It…"

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know." She sobbed.

And without a warning, she burst into uncontrollable tears. He widened his eyes in shock, utterly bewildered and taken aback by her unexpected reaction. He hadn't had the time to do or say anything that she already had moved apart from him. She huddled up in a corner of the couch and he helplessly watched her, lost and confused, while her whole body was shaken by sobs.

"I can't, I can't, I can't" She kept on repeating her voice choking with emotion.

He cautiously approached her and gently seized one of her arms to force her body to unwind. He pulled her into him and she first resisted but he pulled harder and compellingly brought her inside his arms. She was stiff and tense but he kept her against his chest.

"Don't cry. Please, don't cry!"

The sobs didn't seem to calm down and he could feel his chest hair bathed in her streaming tears. So he just caressed her hair and squeezed her tight. He just waited, in silent, cradling her, patiently, until her sobs finally began to subside a little and until her breath found a rather normal rhythm again. But he didn't ask for an explanation. There was no need for that. He could easily guess what kind of fucking fear had overwhelmed her and he hated the fact that he could do nothing to be more reassuring for her. So he just waited.

And suddenly, the sound of his cell phone coming from his jeans pocket broke the heavy silent in the room.

"Go to Hell!" He shouted, recognizing the ringtone of his team and cursing them for calling him in such an inappropriate moment.

But most unexpectedly, she straightened up and looked at him with begging swollen eyes.

"No, answer it." She asked.

He clenched his jaws and interrogated her with a puzzled gaze. The cell phone kept on ringing a few more times and then it stopped. She sustained his stare and took a deep breath.

"They will call back" She said "They certainly wouldn't disturb you for any reason in the middle of the night."

And the cell phone actually rang again after a few minutes. House heavily sighed and he bent over to grab his jeans on the floor. Then he stood up and fished the phone out of his back pocket.

"What?" He barked "Dammit! Are you that incapable, you can't handle anything on your own?"

From the couch, where she was still sitting, he saw her shooting him a disapproving look. He turned his back on her and walked a few steps away. But as he was listening to Foreman's update on his patient, his voice became less aggressive and he hung up with a concern look on his face. He turned around to face her again and before he could open his mouth, she looked him deep in the eyes and sheepishly smiled at him.

"You need to go."

"No, I'm staying here with you."

"I'm ok. You don't need to stay. Go take care of your patient."

He stiffened to repress the pang that hit him in his chest.

"Fine."

He bent over and gathered his clothes on the floor. Then he mechanically dressed in front of her, while she grabbed the blanket and wrapped herself inside it.

"At what time is your appointment with Gruber tomorrow?" He asked her out of the blue.

She gaped and her eyes widened in astonishment.

"You wanna come?" She asked him, completely bemused by his suggestion.

"I don't know. Do you want me to?" He answered, genuinely expressing his feeling of powerlessness with this yet so simple question.

"House! Don't be ridiculous!" She said with a smirk. "You? In a gynecologist waiting room? It wouldn't last five minutes before you'd start insulting pregnant women for their misuse of birth control pills."

"Yes, you're probably right." He uttered, with a heavy resigned sigh.

He put his cell phone back in his pocket and limped out of the living room with his right hand flat on his injured thigh. Before he arrived in the hallway, he turned around one last time.

"You sure you're ok?" He asked her with a concerned voice.

She bit her lips and nodded as much convincingly as she could. In the hallway, he retrieved his cane and his leather jacket. He put his hand on the doorknob and before he opened it and left, he carefully listened to the sound coming from the living room. But it was nothing other than absolute and unnatural silence…

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**A/N**

_I just wanted to say (as you may already have noticed it) that as we're irrepressibly coming closer to where this story also is at in the fox Forum, I will continue to post but I am slowing down my posting rhythm JUST A LITTLE so that I still can stay ahead and most of all have time to write more while I am._

_my life is incredibly crazy right now, but it should be more quiet next week and you can be assured that I'll focus on my writing as soon as I get there!_

_thank you to Blerg for the amazingly nice review. Thank you to YOU ALL for being here and read and even more express yourself! HI to silent readers: PLEASE COME JOIN ME! :)_

_enjoy the "after now"!... ~ maya_


	45. Chapter 45

**_NEW CHAPTER NOW!! ... where you'll get a glance at all the inner struggles going on... because things aren't simple now, are they? _**

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**CHAPTER 45**

He hated days like that. Of course, He knew how it felt. He had lived that many times before. But he would never get used to it. Especially now. Now was not a good time to bring that kind of problem on. But he had no choice. That's what he was thinking, slowly walking into the clinic and towards her office. He passed by her assistant's desk and he gave him a nod. Walter, or was it Warren? granted him with a perfectly polite smile in return. He didn't know why he had to do that but, a little stupidly, he felt the need to point out her office's door with his finger, as if he wanted to justify him being there. The assistant widened his grin, probably indicating he had gotten the signal and saying it was okay for him to go. "_Well, whatever!_" he thought, because the fact was he would have come inside anyway. He had a reason for that. He opened the double glass door and quickly closed it behind him. She was there, sitting at her desk, studying some files. She lifted her head up and took a deep breath.

"Wilson!" She exclaimed, frowning suspiciously "What brings you here? Do we have a meeting I'd have forgotten about?"

"No, not at all. It's about Mrs. Thompson."

Cuddy raised her eyebrows quizzically. Wilson shifted on his feet uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

"She's a patient of mine. Stage 5 of aggressive breast cancer. Spread to the bones and now the liver. She's in a coma. She probably won't make it through the day."

He had rattled off his whole speech in one long breath and Cuddy took a significant pause to study him.

"I'm really sorry about that," she said, narrowing her eyes, "and I'm also sorry to ask but… why would you come here to tell me that?"

"She signed a DNR. Mrs. Thompson, I mean. She doesn't want to be resuscitated."

Cuddy's eyes kept on interrogating him, both intrigued and uneasy at the same time.

"The family, well mostly her husband, contests the form." Wilson carried on. "He says that's not what she wanted. That she didn't realize what she was signing by the time we submitted the form to her. He demands the annulment. He's taken a lawyer."

Cuddy sighed heavily and sat back onto the backrest of her chair.

"Ok. and you're saying she …"

"She might yes." He interrupted her. "Today, or maybe tomorrow at the latest."

"Our lawyers can't intercede." She said resignedly. She covered her face with her hands and took one long deep breath. Then she moved her hands away and she reappeared, looking weary and a little unnerved. "I know that's not what she'd have wanted but sadly, she won't be here to protest anymore… her husband however is, and he could sue us …"

"We should ignore the DNR?"

"We can't get a court order that fast. I'm sorry."

"Well that's what I thought. But… I just had to…" He couldn't finish this simple sentence. He couldn't tell her he had to come to her to ask if, like he already knew, he had to go against an agreement his patient, dying of breast cancer, had signed to not be resuscitated.

Cuddy noticed his embarrassment. From the moment he had stepped inside her office, awkwardly submitting this quite usual case to her, she had guessed it was not just about that Mrs. Thompson. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a short moment, and then she looked up at Wilson and gave him a slight disenchanted smile.

"He told you, right?" She simply said, knowing there was no need for her to be more specific.

Wilson tried his best convincing shocked look.

"Wha.. Well No!" He stuttered, his face turning red.

She shot him an "oh-come-on-don't-try-to-fool-me!" look and Wilson went one better with an "I-don't-know-what-the-hell-you're-talking-about" attempt.

"House doesn't share the details of your sex life with me, if that's what you're worrying about!" He deflected.

"No, that's not. Besides, there's nothing outrageous about that!" She answered provokingly. "I'd tell if you'd ask ..."

"You wouldn't!" He exclaimed tit for tat. "But I'm sure it's great …"

She smiled sheepishly and looked away, as the memory of the previous night came back to her mind.

"Cuddy..."

"He told you right?" She asked him again, stubbornly.

Wilson sighed and looked down, defeated.

"Of course he did."

"How are you?" Wilson asked with a genuine friendly inflection in his voice.

"I'm fine." She answered. She averted her eyes and bit her lips "I'm scared." She added almost inaudibly

"Of course you are!... Lisa, that's a normal reaction."

"Yes. Maybe... But…" She stopped and a melancholic smile flickered on her pale lips.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm ok. Thank you Wilson."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

She stood up and walked round her desk to come near him. She put her hand on his shoulder and puffed, fighting the irony.

"Well … I'm sure I want this conversation to end. Besides, I think you have a patient to take care of."

"You know that if you need m…

"I know." She said. She came close to him and grabbed his jaw to peck him on the cheek. "Thank you, Wilson."

Wilson frowned disapprovingly but there was not much he could add in that particular circumstance. She had always known what she wanted and always done her best to get it. And for now, she had made it clear she didn't want to go any further down that road.

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At 11.20 that same morning, Mrs. Thompson had a cardiac attack. She fell into respiratory arrest and should have died then but, with no legal court order to apply the DNR and respect her last will to leave in dignity, Wilson had to resuscitate her. He intubated her and put her on a ventilator. When her chest began to move up and down again, her husband, who had stood in a corner of the room watching the whole scene, sighed heavily in relief and Wilson silently left the room, a bitter sensation invading his brain. He went back to his office and tried to focus on his paperwork, fighting the distressful images of a long gorgeous body that came popping in his mind. A long gorgeous injured frail body plugged to a machine he had turned off himself, a body he had then cradled in his arms until its last breath…

"I need your boy scout innocent voice to make a phone call."

Wilson raised his eyes and sighed heavily to the silhouette standing in front of his desk.

"House! I'm not in a mood for prank"

"Neither am I."

The gravity in his friend's voice indicated him it had nothing to do with a playful visit. He studied him quizzically and House fell down on the chair behind him, silently waiting and intensely staring into Wilson's eyes.

"What is it House?" He finally asked.

"Gruber. She has her appointment with him this afternoon."

"Oh!" Wilson nodded with a knowing look. But then he felt suddenly puzzled and confused by the purpose of that piece of information. "And so what?" He added, carefully exploring the field.

House turned his gaze away and rubbed his forehead wearily.

"I thought … I should go." He mumbled under his breath, with a voice which seemed to almost excuse itself for expressing that kind of idea.

Wilson widened his eyes genuinely but happily surprised.

"Of course you should!" He exclaimed "Since she asked you to!"

"Well that's the problem you see… maybe I shouldn't."

"What? What's the problem? She doesn't want you there?"

"I don't know. I mean _technically_, she didn't say … she didn't say she _didn't_ want me there … but she didn't say she _wanted _me either … "

"House!" Wilson almost shouted, and House pouted like a grounded child. "Don't be ridiculous!" You know exactly what you have to do…"

"Nooooo!" House protested unconvincingly. And all of a sudden, his legendary self-confidence seemed to abandon him and he looked at Wilson with a lost desperate gaze. "What am I supposed to do there?"

"Nothing! You'll just be there. For her. That's all she needs."

"But what if it's not?"

"Dammit House! Do you love her?"

House clenched his jaws and glared defiantly at Wilson for a few second, but quite immediately, he let out a surrendering sigh. Wilson smiled victoriously at him.

"If you DO love her, then you stop asking yourself dumb stupid questions. You do what you think is right."

House stood up and pouted to repress the relieved smile that was forming on his lips. Then in a much determined pace, he started to head towards the door.

"What's that phone call you wanted me to give?" Wilson called him back just as he was about to exit.

House turned around and shot him a mysterious mischievous look.

"Never mind. I'll take care of that myself!"

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**_A/N_**

_I'm impatient to read your reactions on this last chapter... I feel like a lot of you have disappeared :-( ... please don't hide! and share your thoughts!_

_I hope the little extra wait between updates doesn't discourage you from reading... :) tell me if you think it is really TOO much and then I'll try to make it less long... _

_CEIZE THE DAY! ~ maya_


	46. Chapter 46

**_HERE THE NEW CHAPTER! fasten your seat belt... :)_**

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**** CHAPTER 46 ****

He came towards him with his eyes narrowed like those of a feline about to catch his prey. But as he was approaching and getting closer, he started to smile, reassuringly. After all, the last thing he wanted in that moment was to scare him. While he walked the last two steps, the young man welcomed him with a suspicious look. House sat down on the corner of the desk, rummaged in his jacket's pocket and fished out a cherry lollipop, which he friendly handed over to the guy.

"Warren! Hi pal! Do you want a lollipop?"

Warren grimaced and promptly raised two waving hands in front of him.

"No thank you! Sugar is bad for the teeth!" He answered, almost reciting the good boy line.

"You know what? I know that! But sucking lollipops has nothing to do with teeth. It's a question of style!" House grinned widely, leaning over, and conspicuously sucked his in front of his face. He then sat up straight and looked at the young man with a genuine liking. "Think about that Warren! It could get you to score real hot babes you know."

"What do you want?" Warren interrupted him with a disapproving look on his face.

"Nothing! I just want to chat! … or … maybe… there is just that little thing I need to know …"

Warren puffed as if to say "t_here we go!_" and House coaxed him into cooperating with his famous puppy face. Warren shook his head and didn't even try to repress the amused smile that formed on his lips. That was a strange thing to admit but as incredible as it seemed, he sort of appreciated Dr. House. He was … what was the best word? … He couldn't find it, but there was something about him, something that said he wasn't just that cynical guy everyone was complaining about. Mechanically, House glanced towards Cuddy's office and tried to catch the proof of her presence there, behind the closed wooden blinds. Warren followed House's gaze and turned his head back to him.

"She left." He said, "For lunch."

House looked at his watch: 1.15pm. He hadn't realized it was that late already. He didn't even felt hungry. Suddenly all his remaining doubts dissolved in this silly evidence: he had to be with her. He wouldn't be appeased and relax until he would be there, with her, doing whatever she would allow him to do. But no matter what it would be, he just had to go there.

"Warren," He asked out of the blue, and in that very moment he couldn't care less about what the young man would think of him, "I want to know Dr Cuddy's schedule for this afternoon." There was some sort of a real urge in his blunt request, one that even hid a little bit of despair.

Warren studied him a short while and then, without thinking twice he opened a drawer and took something out of it.

"Sure!" He said and he handed House the Dean's notebook he kept updated for her as her assistant.

House narrowed his eyes and stared at the object suspiciously. Suddenly he was feeling uneasy, taken aback by Warren's spontaneous cooperation.

"Well," He said clearing his throat and hopping off of the desk, "I just need to…"

He stared again at the diary and then, repressing all rational feelings back he just seized it from Warren's hand, and walked a few steps away, opening it. He fumbled into the pages until he found the right one. There. It was written down. What he needed to know. What she hadn't told him.

**_Princeton General. 3.30pm._**

There was no mention of Dr. Gruber but he was sure that was when her appointment was. He promptly closed the book and came back towards the desk. He put the diary back on the desk, and rummaged in his jacket's pocket.

"Thank you Warren… you've been… helpful" He muttered, hating those social polite things he was so not good at. He put a lollipop on the desk beside the diary. "Here!... Style! Hot babes! Think about it!"

Then he disappeared before Warren could add anything. The young man put the notebook back in the drawer and he took the lollipop in his hand. He twirled it between his fingers, and in an unexpected fit which even surprised him, he put it in his pocket instead of throwing it away in the trashcan like he should have.

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The ride had been pleasant. At this hour of the day, traffic was low and he hadn't needed to slalom dangerously between cars to make his way. He parked his bike on a handicap space in the visitor area and it felt strange to him. Strange and unfamiliar. When he walked inside the lobby, he became suddenly really aware of how crowded a hospital could be, swarming with people, going in every direction. Something he never really had paid attention to, as a doctor, mostly busy to join his calm office, where he was sheltered in a safe quiet place to think about the best way to solve his exciting medical puzzles. But there, he was not a doctor. He was not a patient either. He was just a visitor. An anonymous one. Someone among the others. He spotted the nurse desk and he determinedly limped towards it. The woman who was sitting there was absentmindedly chewing a gum and turning the pages of a waoman's magazine. He rested his elbows on the counter and stared at her, thinking the power of his gaze would have made her lift her eyes up. But no. Was it really how it felt? He clenched his jaws, took a deep breath to repress the feeling of annoyance that was growing inside him, and then coughed. The nurse finally raised her face to him.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked, chewing her gum loudly.

He forced himself to smile. "Sure you can!" He exclaimed "I'm looking for Dr. Gruber's consulting room."

"Dr. Gruber, the gynecologist?" The nurse said, raising an eyebrow.

House's smile turned into a crooked smirk.

"Yep! That one! I know it's quite unexpected since I don't have a hoo hoo, but you see, I'm meeting one there... or so to speak."

The nurse frowned disapprovingly and pointed a direction on her right.

"Elevators are at the end of this hallway. Dr. Gruber's exam room is on the second floor"

House checked his watched which was saying 3.35. He knew doctors usually fell behind with their patients, but he also knew she would have been on time and he really felt the irrepressible need to be with her now.

"Thank you so much" He said with a large fake satisfied grin. "And I don't want to meddle but you shouldn't chew gums, it's very bad for the teeth, you know" He added, walking away.

"But…!" The nurse exclaimed, taken aback "they're sugar free!"

House promptly turned around and smiled.

"That's even worse. They replaced the sugar with sorbitol, chemical laxative…" He shook his head and left her with a flabbergasted look.

When he arrived on the second floor, a large board indicated the Gynecology Department was on the left, which he would have more or less guessed on his own, considering the number of pregnant women who were pushing their protuberant bellies in that same direction. He followed their little procession, managing to even limp past their penguin swaying pace. His heart was racing in his chest as he was getting closer to the consulting room. How would she react? Would she be mad at him? What would he do if she would?

After what seemed to him like an endless walk in an endless hallway, he finally arrived at the Gynecology Department. He stopped right before the entrance and rapidly scanned the place. There was a counter on his right, just beside the entry behind which sat a young woman who probably was the desk clerk or the secretary and further behind her he could see closed doors of what he thought were the exam rooms. On the left, he saw several other rooms: scan room. mammography… and then, in a hollow behind, he spotted the waiting area. He walked past the desk clerk without a glance and walked right towards there.

"Sir! … Excuse me sir? Can I help you?" The girl behind her counter called him back but he waved his hand in the air without turning back. "No thanks, I'm here to meet someone"

Waiting area. Chairs. Lots of chairs. Women. Pregnant women. Lots of pregnant women. Some of them with their husbands. Staring at the ceiling. Agitated kids, running between the chairs. An old woman shrank in a corner, clinging on to her purse. An adolescent, nervously tapping her fingers on her lap. Next to her, her boyfriend? Nervously scratching his acne… Damn! He checked his watch: 3.45. That probably meant she was in the exam room already? He went back to the desk at the entrance and the girl welcomed him with a smug smile.

"Yes?" She snapped, raising her chin provokingly "Do you need information?"

Fair enough, House thought and he gripped his cane's handle tighter to fight the urge to retort an ironic comment.

"I'm looking for someone. But I can't see her … I…"

"What's her name?" The girl asked, cutting him short.

She was so used to those crappy excuses. She didn't want to hear them. Every time the same thing: Traffic, a meeting longer than planned, a last minute phone call… Men were jerks. They had a good time, they made the girl pregnant and then when responsibilities started to come along, nobody was there anymore. How many of those egoistic idiots incapable of showing to their woman's first scan on time had she encountered today? Two? Three? Sure she wasn't the judgmental kind, but was it really that big an effort to do? Be there? On time?

"Cuddy. Lisa Cuddy" House said a little uneasy, leaning over to the desk.

The girl checked in her register, browsing through the list of names with the tip of her fingers. And then she spotted it and her finger stopped on a line.

"Lisa Cuddy" She uttered, pointing the name on the list. "Oh yes! I remember now! Appointment with Dr. Gruber at 3.30." She raised her face to him, and looked at him with a gaze filled with embarrassment and sympathy. "She called earlier today to cancel her appointment."

"Excuse me, what did you just said?" House said, widening his eyes in disbelief.

"Mrs. Cuddy. She called earlier to cancel…" She repeated docilely.

"Yeah right. Ok" His features became tense and his voice turned into a nervous groan, as he was processing the news. "When is the new appointment scheduled?"

The girl looked at him with a genuine confused look and he knew. Before she even answered, he knew what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry sir, there's no new appointment scheduled. She just called to cancel that's all."

House's fingers unconsciously clutched the desk counter and he clenched his jaws, feeling the anger irrepressibly growing inside him. Dammit what the hell was she thinking about? Is that how she was willing to deal with this thing? Is that how responsible she was?

He turned on his heels and without a word he exited the room. Down the hallway. Into the elevator. Down to the ground floor. Outside. Towards the parking. On his bike. Out. Away.

"_Don't do this. Don't play the doctor… here… now"_ That's what she wanted. That's what she had asked. And he had given her that. _"I'm not playing. This is not a game."_ Fuck! He had done what she wanted him to do! She was reckless! How could she cancel her appointment? 50 miles per hour. He was so furious. Right. Left. _"Are we having this conversation now? Here?"_ Her eyes. The fear in her eyes. 60 miles per hour. _"No we're not. You're right. We CAN'T have this conversation." _He had done everything that was right. Everything that he thought was right. _Just a man. Just her lover._ But she had cheated! That was not part of the deal! _"I'm not sick! I don't need a nurse!"_ He would pretend to forget but she would take care of herself. And he would trust her for doing that. 75 miles per hour. Right. Left. Straight ahead. Fast. _"I'm sorry. I don't know any other way to do it." _He couldn't let that happen. That was beyond his strength. He was done pretending.

Filled with rage, he walked inside PPTH lobby and strode towards the clinic door and into her office. He barely saw Warren waving his hands to him, trying to stop him. He burst inside the room, with his mouth wide open, ready to yell the first shout. Empty. No jacket hang on the coat stand. No briefcase. Fine. Great. Of course, she wasn't there. She had gone home, ashamed of herself. Because she had done a stupid thing. And she knew it. "_You can understand her. You know she's probably scared."_ Well of course she was! He could imagine her angst. He had held her angst in his arms.

The road again. Traffic. Cars. Dangerous obstacles he kept skirting carelessly, changing lanes abruptly. What about him? What about his fear? Had she thought about that? Did she tell him all the truth? _"It's probably just a cyst."_ He was hoping. Hoping for that relief. He wanted to be there. With her. Dammit he had gone to that fucking hospital, crowded with fat pregnant women sweating hormones all over just FOR HER! Why? _"House!... I never lied to you!" _She'd better have a hell of a good explanation to give him.

Night falling. Darkness spreading. Her house. Her door. Locked. Nobody. No light inside. Ok. Sure. That was not going to be that easy, right? Because she would decide. She would decide when to come. And she would. He had given her his key. _"Let me show you that I can."_ Gee! He swore! The minute she would step inside he would… He would … _"If you DO love her, then you do what you think is right." _

He parked his bike in front of his building and removed his helmet. He scratched his hair and rubbed his face. Then he slid the helmet under his arm and slowly climbed the stairs to his apartment. He turned the key inside his door lock. He turned the light on and took a deep breath. _Just calm down _He thought,_ She's gonna be there. Just wait._ He walked inside the living room and put his helmet on the desk. Then he got rid of his leather jacket and hung it in the closet. _Lisa._ His leg hurt. He poured him a glass of bourbon and swallowed two Vicodin with one large gulp of burning liquid. _"Let's forget this whole thing"_ He rubbed his thigh and walked towards his piano.

Something strange caught his attention on the black glossy surface. Something that wasn't there before. A piece of paper. Hastily torn out from a notepad _"Don't cry. Please, don't cry"_ His heart skipped a beat when he recognized the handwriting. He came closer and with a trembling hand he took the sheet of paper. Something was scotchtaped to it.

His key.

_**I CAN'T DO THIS... US**_

_**I'M SORRY**_

No. No.

No. Not that old excruciating pain again.

It felt as if his leg had been chopped off his body. It felt as if his heart had been ripped off his chest.

It felt as if he couldn't breathe anymore.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_if you want to know where Cuddy is... why she left.... how House is gonna react to that...... just hang in there, cuz' this is NOT over..._

_I'm officially on vacation! for 2 weeks!! which is great because even if I haven't planned on going anywhere, I'll just stay at my home and rest...... I SO need that right now. doc says my blood iron level is very low, which is why I feel exhausted and vacation are so welcome... but, the cool thing is, with the spare time ahead, I hope I'll be able to write more so that we can go on with the story..._

_in the meantime I'll be eagerly waiting for your comments on that last twist.... :-)_

_enjoy life ~ maya_


	47. Chapter 47

_HERE THE NEW CHAPTER! where you'll find out that Cuddy's impromptu run away is real..._

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**** CHAPTER 47 ****

"That's me… Gee! You know I hate talking to a fucking voice message!! Come on! What's that crap? I don't get it … is it about the key? Cuz' I know you didn't want the key. That you think it was too much………… So ok. Let's say that I get that … But, SHIT! What the Hell did you do today? THIS IS NOT OK!! You hear me? I need some fucking good explanation. Lisa ……… just call me when you have this message……… "

He slammed his cell shut and gulped. The sheet of paper was still there, in front of his eyes and he couldn't look at it. He couldn't look at it without getting the impression he was lacking air to breathe. Because he couldn't resign himself to read what it was saying. He was refusing to see it.

_I CAN'T DO THIS... US_

_I'M SORRY_

What kind of bullshit was that? Why? It was incomprehensible. It was beyond all understanding. He drank a few more drinks to convince himself that it was … just irrational and unbelievable… What had he done wrong? Where had he screwed up? He had tried. So hard. God! SO HARD… and he was just getting the impression that it was working. That things were easy. Because he was feeling good again. Life was so simple with her. Like a pleasant journey you'd never wish to end. So, it couldn't be over just like that, without any warning. No, it couldn't…

The pain in his leg was throbbing. It felt like a knife stabbing into his scar again and again. The bottle of Bourbon was slowly emptying and he was getting drunk. Drunk and miserable. He checked his watch and it told him that two hours have passed since he'd made his call. She hadn't called back. He was dizzy and his tongue was furred. But he still could feel. Anger. An ugly anger against her. For what she had done…

"Lisa!... Lisa? Pick up the phone! Shit! Pick up that damn phone! Why don't you call me back? Why are you doing this? ARE YOU FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE? I thought you were smart… But you know what? God!, you're just a silly bitch like any other… like any other …"

His voice choked and he hung up his cell. He stared at it for some long painful seconds before his eyes started to burn. He took a deep breath and he rubbed his eyelids forcefully. No. He was not going to cry for her. No. He was not going to cry for a woman again. He took the bottle of Bourbon on the coffee table and filled his glass to the brim. A full glass of numbing alcohol. He brought it to his lips and drank the first sip slowly. But he felt the burning sensation coming back again in his eyes so he downed the whole glass in one. He looked around and everything in the room seemed to become blurry. He squeezed the empty glass tighter in his hand until he made it crack. The sharp rim cut his finger and he let the glass fall on the floor. A thin trickle of blood ran from his hand down onto the leather of his couch…

"Ok. I get it. You don't want to talk to me… Fine… But I'd be damned if I'd let you do this… I CAN'T let you do this … you need to go see a doctor… come on, you're smarter than that! ... because you're not a silly bitch… I'm sorry I said that… I didn't mean to… Just call me back… Call me back…"

And then he felt it roll down his cheek. It was warm and it ended on the corner of his lips. He closed his eyes and licked it. It was salty… But that was nothing more than the alcohol effect. Just the alcohol… The room around him was now spinning. He took a deep breath to repress the nausea but he gagged instead. He grabbed his sofa's armrest and waited for the sickening sensation to subside. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and he felt the ferric taste of blood on his lips. He looked at his fingers and saw the cut. So he gathered the few remaining strength he still had and struggled to stand up. His legs nearly gave way under him as he tried to stay steady. He waited until he found the right balance, until his breath went back to normal again and then, rubbing his painful thigh, he staggered to his bathroom. In his hallway, a weird sensation invaded his body. He felt he was about to collapse and tried to hold on to the wall but he couldn't_. Lisa … Lisa … Where are you? Don't do this to me … Please Lisa …_ He blinked to fight the inevitable black out, his mind trying to stay awake, but he fainted and fell on the floor with a thud.

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A few hours later, no longer under Vicodin's effect, the sensation of pain in his leg woke him up. There was dry blood on his jeans and his head hurt like hell. He was feeling numb, dizzy and nauseous. He gripped his bad thigh as strongly as he could and pushed himself up with his free arm's elbow. Pain squeezed a moan out of him and he closed his eyes. He managed to sit up and rested his back on the wall, breathing heavily. With a shaky hand, he delved in his jean's pocket and took the orange bottle. He rubbed his eyes and took two pills then he threw his head back and waited until he felt the drug fall inside his stomach. The simple fact of swallowing the pills took a slight piece of his pain away. It made the sensation lower from excruciatingly unbearable to just excruciating. He knew that was just the placebo effect, because he knew that more than half an hour was required to allow the pills to take effect but excruciating was something he could deal with. He just wanted to get rid of the "unbearable" part of the pain… He rummaged in his pocket again and took his cell, hoping to find a sign, a sign from her. But there was nothing. Nobody had called. 3.30am…

"Lisa………………………………it's the middle of the night………………I'm in pain……………… I need you………………………Call me…………"

Each syllable sounded like an incomprehensible gloomy grumble. He moaned into the receiver and his hand gripped the cell, hopelessly waiting for some reaction but it was pointless and he knew it. He stared at his watch again. She wouldn't call. He had to sleep, if he could. He had to wait. Tomorrow. Tomorrow, they would have an explanation. But not now. Now was too late. She wouldn't call. He had no strength left and the pain in his leg, though less hard, was still pounding. He took a deep breath and tried to stand up. It took him ten miserable minutes to manage to lift up his body. Then, shifting all his weight against the wall, he reeled to his bedroom. He opened the night stand's drawer and found some old sleeping pills he had kept there from the time he had had his head injury. He opened the bottle and slid some pills in the palm of his hand without counting them. Two, three? He pushed them inside his throat and crumpled in his bed.

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The sound of his cell shook him out of his torpor. He jerked on the mattress and he pulled it out of his pocket, holding his breath.

"Where are you?" He almost shouted in the receiver.

"You know I was going to ask you the same question!" Wilson's voice answered.

He removed the phone from his ear and fell back in the bed, taking long and deep breathes, trying to repress the huge feeling of disappointment he was feeling. He covered his face with his hand to protect his eyes from the aggressive sunlight spreading all over the room. Coming from inside the receiver, he could perceive Wilson's voice getting impatient.

"House!.... House! Are you listening?"

He sighed and brought the receiver back against his ear.

"I'm sleeping…. Well _WAS_…until you woke me up." He grunted.

"Yeah, sleeping! Sure… I'm not saying you and Cuddy shouldn't have some good times you know, but it's almost noon… and…"

House tried to gather his rational mind to process what was implied under Wilson's words.

"Wilson? … You haven't seen Cuddy?" His voice was slightly trembling, but Wilson didn't seem to notice.

"What are you talking about? House! Come on… That's not funny… I know you think not showing at work is not a big deal, but actually it is… kind of a big deal… when you're the boss… so go back to sleep if you want but… Gee! If someone had told me I'd have to ask _you_ that someday … well … put Cuddy on please … House? … House? … Are you still there?"

But on the other end of the line Wilson heard nothing other than the sound of the dial tone again. He frowned and shook his head disapprovingly before he hung up the phone.

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He had ridden there. As soon as he had heard Wilson say she wasn't at the hospital, he had jumped out of bed and without even changing his clothes or even less taking a shower he had left his apartment, ignoring the pain in his leg, ignoring the dizziness, ignoring the injury on his hand. He had ridden there again, as fast as he could. And now, he was parked in front of her house, sitting on his bike's saddle, across the road, and he was looking towards her door. Find strength to stand up and cross that road. Find strength to go there. Knock. Check…

He walked towards her steps. God! How many times had he walked in this alley to her door? And yet, deep inside… deep inside him, he couldn't pretend he didn't know… because that would have been a lie. He knew there was no need to knock. Something already told him she wasn't there. But he just needed to check. Be sure. He leaned down to the flower-pot under which she was keeping her extra key and he lifted it, holding his breath... But there was no extra key. He bit his bottom lip while he mechanically put his hand inside his jeans' pocket and fiddled the crumpled piece of paper he had put in there.

_I CAN'T DO THIS... US_

_I'M SORRY_

"Lisa… you can't disappear like that… You can walk out of my apartment … you can walk out of your house… but NOT OUT OF YOUR HOSPITAL … Where are you? DAMMIT, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?? …"

He crossed the road back and straddled his bike again.

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Wilson was working in a peaceful silence when his office's door violently banged against the wall making him jumped on his chair. Storming inside, House walked right in front of his desk and stood there. He looked like he had been hit by a train. His hair was a mess and he was scruffy beyond the limits of scruffiness.

"Wow! You look like Hell!" Wilson exclaimed and he looked back down at his paperwork.

"I need you to make a phone call"

"Hah! You need my 'boy scout voice' now?"

"Fuck you! I need you to make that call. NOW!"

Wilson put his pen down slowly, lifted his face up and narrowed his eyes to House quizzically.

"What is wrong House?" He said with gravity in his voice.

House threw the crumpled paper on his friend's desk. Wilson raised his eyebrows, as if he was saying "what's that?" and House nodded to him. So Wilson took the piece of paper and unfolded it. Then he read what was written on it. He stayed with his head down, looking at the paper for a long time, processing the news, taking deep breathes, not daring to look at his friend. And then, when he finally found the courage to face him again, he looked up and handed him the paper back.

"When?" He simply asked.

House averted his gaze.

"Yesterday." He answered, looking outside through the window "She didn't go to her appointment. She cancelled."

"House… I'm… I don't know what to say… maybe she's…"

"I need you to call Gruber. Maybe she went there after all. But I can't call myself… I…"

"That's ok. I'll do it."

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"Yes… thank you very much… and, well certainly… maybe next month? For that conference on fertility meds side-effects?..."

House glared impatiently at him.

"Of course!... Haha! Yes… thank you. Good bye."

Wilson put the receiver back and sighed. There was really no need for him to be specific. His sorry eyes were saying it all.

"No sign of her there too." House stated, just as if he needed to phrase it out loud to believe it was possible.

Wilson set his lips and slowly shook his head. House puffed, harrowed and he violently tapped the tip of his cane on the floor within a raging outburst. Then he took his cell and nervously dialed her number. Again.

"Ok. You wanted to piss me off? Well congratulations! You got what you wanted! Because THIS? THIS… is the most goddamn stupid thing you could have done! So you stop playing this fucking ridiculous game and you bring your ass back here! NOW!"

He slammed his cell shut and sustained Wilson's shocked glare. But Wilson yielded and lowered his gaze, incapable of stomaching the image. House's eyes were red and dimmed with tears. Looking down, Wilson's eyes ended up on his friend's hands holding his cane's handle, and he saw what he hadn't been able to notice until now.

"House!" He exclaimed "You've been bleeding! What did you do with your hand?"

House promptly hid it and covered his injury with his other hand.

"Nothing," he deflected, "I need you to do something else…"

But he was interrupted by Wilson's cell phone. Wilson took it in his hand and incredulously looked at the inscription on the screen saying "unknown" before he picked it up and brought it to his ear.

"Dr. Wilson"

On the other end of the line, he heard a gasp. Then a short silence.

"Hello?"

"Wilson please……………. Tell him to stop calling me…"

Then the click of the phone being hung up. Wilson froze up and kept his cell in his hand, incapable of moving. He was feeling the weight of House stare on him. And although he hoped he wouldn't have to answer _that_ question, he knew he couldn't avoid it.

"Who was it?"

There. _That_ question. He raised his face and pierced into House's eyes trying to hide his discomfort. House tilted his head to the side and studied his friend. And suddenly he gasped loudly and pointed a furious finger at him

"It was her, wasn't it?... Where is she? What did she say? WHERE IS SHE?"

Wilson remained silent and looked at his friend with sorrow.

"WHAT DID SHE SAY?" House yelled, leaning menacingly down towards the desk.

Wilson leaned back and took a deep breath. There was no good way of saying it.

"She… wants you to stop calling her… House… I'm sorry… I'm…"

An awful smirk contorted House's features, making Wilson shut up before he could express all his feeling of sympathy. He watched his friend's trembling hand grabbing his cell again and bringing it to his ear.

"Hah! Of course voice message again… so brave of you… and now you beg Wilson to make me stop calling you? But here's some news: I WON'T! Not until you gave me a REAL explanation! I deserve to know… And I want to hear the words coming out of your mouth! You think a fucking sheet of paper saying you're leaving is enough! NO! … you can tell me you can't do '_this_' … You can even call me shit if you want… but at least JUST HAVE THE GUTS TO CALL **ME** TO SAY IT!"

Wilson stared at his friend completely stunned. He hadn't seen him in such a rage since such a long time… he hadn't seen him hurt like that since…

"You think that was the most appropriate way of telling her you want her to come back?" He asked, appalled and sad at the same time.

House glowered silently at him and then he turned on his heels and stormed outside as unpredictably as he had stormed in before.

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**A/N**

_are you still here? it feels as if you're all gone with Cuddy? :-(_

_well anyway... for those of you who are still reading.... I hope you'll have time to share your thoughts!_

_CARPE DIEM ~ maya_


	48. Chapter 48

**_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER! still surfing on the wave of angst... _****

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**** CHAPTER 48 ****

"Patient is out of surgery." Foreman said, entering the office. House was sitting at his desk, forcefully typing on his computer keyboard. He didn't even turn his head towards him, which slightly annoyed Foreman. After all, the patient would have died if it hadn't been for him suggesting the lung abscess and he thought he deserved a little credit for it, at least some attention. "It WAS lung abscess… like I've said…"

House abruptly turned his tormented features towards Foreman and shot him a furious glare.

"I'M BUSY!" He shouted, "I don't care what it was! Is the patient still alive?"

"Yes, he's…"

"Perfect! That's all I need to know. Now go to Hell, do whatever bragging annoying thing you need to do to feel good but, elsewhere!"

Foreman shook his head bemused and frowned intrigued.

"Wow! You're prickly! What is it? Mr. and Mrs. Boss had a little lovers' fight last night?" He provoked, unaware of how dangerous and slippery his attempt at a sarcastic retort was.

House jerked out of his chair and in one incredibly fast movement, he came right in front of Foreman and fiercely grabbed him by his jacket's lapel then raised a menacing fist in front of his face. Foreman gasped and set his lips trying to sustain House's bloodshot glare. The two men stood, almost chin to chin for what seemed like an eternity, House breathing heavily, his fist trembling in front of Foreman's face. Then finally, he let go of his grab, pushing him away at the same time.

"Get the fuck out of here!" He hissed through clenched teeth, and he limped back round his desk and sat down in his chair.

Foreman stiffened and pulled on his jacket tails to tidy himself up. He shot an incredulous stare at House and left the room. House energetically rubbed his temples with his fingertips and closed his eyes, taking long and deep breathes to try to calm down. His hands still trembling, he fumbled in his pocket and took his bottle of Vicodin. He agitatedly open the cap and made one little snow-white pill glide in his palm that he instantly pushed down in his throat, covering his mouth with his hand.

Soon afterwards, he swiveled in his chair and faced his computer again, intensely staring at the screen. He took a deep breath and raised his hands above the keyboard. He hit the keys with his fingers, typing a short message almost angrily and pushed the "enter" button then he stood up and walked out of his office.

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"You got my email?" House questioned, bursting in the room.

"Wait a sec…" Wilson looked up at his computer. "Yeah! Right! Just got it!... What is … ?" He bent over closer to the screen and narrowed his eyes, looking a little bit puzzled.

"It's Cuddy's breasts scans; from her first appointment at Gruber." House answered, "And I'm warning you, I just almost smashed Foreman's face in so, you better watch your mouth and hold back any ironic comments involving the words Cuddy and boobs in the same phrase…"

Wilson sighed and looked sorrowfully at House's apprehensive face.

"How did you get those?" He just asked.

"Don't care about how I got those! I got them, that's all. Few phone calls to the right doctors, making few subtle threats here and there and the scan ended up on my computer… And now, I need you to look at them."

"House! I can't make a diagnosis just from a…"

"I know! I'm not asking you to! I just want you to give a look at these scans and tell me what you see."

"Well… sure I'd need the actual proper scans to…." Wilson muttered under his breath, leaning down to the screen. "Hmm…"

"What?" House interrupted him distressfully, coming closer to the desk.

"There's a lump."

"Of course there's a lump, you idiot!" House loudly exhaled his impatience "HOW does it look like? That's what I'm asking you…"

Wilson leaned again, frowning, and nervously bit his lips. House gripped his cane's handle tightly, struggling hard to not jump at his friend's throat and drag the words out of his mouth.

"So?" He asked, incapable of holding the angst any longer.

Wilson looked up at House and took a deep breath. The fact was that he knew too well Cuddy wasn't ANY random patient. And most of all that, just standing there in front of him, was not ANY anxious man waiting for relief. He felt the weight of stress invade him. The stakes were really high and he realized he couldn't be wrong or just approximate. House would never be satisfied with what he had to say, and yet that was all he had to offer.

"I can't tell you for sure… " He started, "It doesn't look like cancer cells to me. The mass is not dark, it's regularly shaped… and there…" He mechanically pointed a spot on the screen, "there're some random small calcifications around the lump area which are not the ones you observe in cancer…"

House gasped and his eyes became moist. He pierced into Wilson's gaze even more intensely.

"So it's a cyst?" He mumbled hopefully.

Wilson sighed heavily. He knew that was the part House wouldn't like.

"Well that's hard to tell… it doesn't look like a cyst either…"

"What else could it be?"

"Honestly, I don't know. House, I told you… it's impossible to make a reliable diagnosis just based on a computer screen images of a scan. I'd need to do an echo of the breast… I'd need a blood test… I'd need to make a cytopuncture of the mass…I'd…"

"All right! OK! I got your point! You would need to run some tests!" House interrupted him angrily. "But… what you're saying… from what you see is that… it is NOT cancer?" He peered at Wilson almost imploringly.

"I don't know…House … I couldn't swear to it but… I'm just saying it doesn't _look like_ cancer."

House closed his eyes and clenched his jaws as if he was mentally processing the whole frame. When he re-opened them, he stared at Wilson with disillusionment.

"So basically, what you're saying is that you know nothing!"

Wilson shook his head, upset: House should have known better. He, of all the doctors there in this hospital, should have known that he couldn't get an answer without any concrete element to question. They had nothing! Yes, maybe, shots of Cuddy's scan on his screen, but it just gave the location of the lump, its size… surely nothing more than what House had already found out about on his own. But they had nothing about its chemical structure, its density, its origin…

"House! I told you… I'm sorry…" He kept shaking his head in dismay, unable to find any rational soothing arguments to offer. And anyway, he wasn't willing to lie to his friend. Even if it could help him feel better, eventually, lie would not be a solution…

House's eyes were looking at Wilson but his mind seemed elsewhere. His face darkened and he crookedly smiled.

"Thank you, Wilson" He said in a low toneless voice. He remained still for a moment, staring blankly in front of him and then he walked out the door with an accentuated limp.

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Downstairs, he passed by the nurse station. He reached the exit door and he grabbed the knob. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder and turned around to give a long circle gaze around the entrance hall, trailing his eyes towards the clinic door a little while longer. Then he pushed the door opened and stepped outside. And he rode home.

Once there, he sat on his couch with the bottle of alcohol in one hand and his cell phone in the other. And he let himself dive into the soothing spiral.

One drink. One pill. Two drinks. Pain. Clutching fingers. Tears. Another drink…

"I hope you know what you're doing… because Lisa… Fuck! Lisa… Why are you doing this? I need to know why… I…"

Numbness. Floating body. One drink. Spinning head. Two drinks. Another pill…

"No… You know, that's fine… Don't call me back. Don't explain. I don't want to hear about you … because I don't care about you… I don't care anymore…"

One drink. Burning eyes. Stomach ache. Two drinks. Squeezing Pain. Nausea…

Yes. That spiral was a lie. It was not soothing. It didn't help him feel better. And it didn't chase her haunting image out his mind… when all he wanted was to chase her haunting image out of his mind…

* * *

_**A/N**_

_it's a short chapter, I know, don't shoot me! I had no choice but to edit it like that... and personally, I kinda like its rhythm though... :) _

_so hope you've enjoyed it despite its short length... let me know your thoughts! :-)_

_have a nice day ~ maya_


	49. Chapter 49

**_HERE'S A NEW CHAPTER... where you'll find out what a man can do when he's hurt..._**

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* * *

**

**** CHAPTER 49 ****

Wilson thought he should leave him alone the first day. So he didn't call. He too knew about that intoxicating spiral and towards which attractive lie it would lead his friend. He had watched House flirt with that black hole before. There was not much he could do. It was a vicious circle which had to be completed. When Amber died, he had thought about letting himself go down like that too. Drown in his own tears… but it was pointless. And it hadn't helped. So he'd rather leave House alone, for he knew he would come to the same conclusion on his own. He felt helpless anyway and the very image of his friend so hurt and lost had been too much to bear. Maybe, there also was an awful selfishness in his reluctance to see House, because he was tired of being the soothing guy on that matter. Yet Wilson was Wilson and he couldn't pretend not to care very long. The second day, he held back the urge to go see him and he tried to call to check if everything was ok instead. All he got was the voicemail of House's cell and he started to worry a little. He left several messages but got no answers.

In any other circumstances he would have gone there, but in the hospital, since no one was really aware of what was happening, there still were tons of things to deal with, no matter how strong he would try to ignore them. The fact was he couldn't escape his duty and he even ended up taking responsibilities that were not part of his job. But he had no choice. Cuddy had left since four days and although it was not a strange unfamiliar thing to see her absent for that long, there still were things that needed to be done. By the end of the day, after he had made decisions that he was not used to make, and dealt with amount of countless stressful matters, he left the hospital, exhausted but satisfied of the work done.

His car naturally drove him to House's place, almost like an unconscious reflex. He parked in front of his building and sighed in relief when he saw the lights on through the living room's windows. He knocked and after a short moment, the door opened, revealing a woman. She flashed him a welcome smile and remained standing there, waiting for Wilson to say something. She was wearing a lab coat which, considering its very close fitting cut, was not a "real" lab coat at all but, on the other hand, seemed to be the only thing she was actually wearing. Wilson's mouth dropped open in shock and he stood at the threshold, completely flabbergasted, looking at her and refusing to acknowledge what she probably was, while it was quite obvious she could be nothing other than a hooker. Still holding the knob in her hand, standing with her weight on one leg, the "home nurse" turned her head towards the hallway.

"It's a guy!" She shouted and finally let go of the knob then moved to the right to clear the way.

Wilson stepped in and saw House approaching the entry, still finishing zipping up his pants. He hadn't got his cane with him and was limping with difficulty.

"Wilson! I knew it was you! Of course, the good concerned Samaritan who couldn't help but check up on his friend! But see? I'm fine! You can go now…"

"House! What the hell are you doing?..."

"I'm taking care of myself! That's what I'm doing, what do you think it is?"

The girl was still standing at the open door between the two men, and she seemed uneasy to be trapped in the middle of this discomforting scene which she apparently refused to be part of.

"Hum… Excuse me," She coughed, "have you guys planned on doing something? Because I…"

"Oh no, stay!" Wilson exclaimed, shooting a fuming glare at House "I'm going. I don't want to interrupt whatever it is you were doing before I arrived."

"I'm here for…" The girl started but House cut her short.

"That's ok. Just take your stuff and leave now." He said to her but with his gaze turned towards Wilson.

"Ok" The girl answered, with a slight relief in her voice and she went off towards the bedroom at a trot.

Wilson puffed and shook his head with a sickened look on his face. He kept staring at House until the girl reappeared in the entry with her coat on and a sport's bag on her shoulder. She hesitantly stood at the door, visibly not knowing what to say.

"I hope it'll help you feel a little better" She said shyly, looking at House.

"Yeah" He answered sarcastically "Let's hope that!" He met Wilson's gaze again and lowered his eyes "Thank you" He added to the girl. She nodded and walked out, closing the door behind her.

House immediately headed towards his couch, where he sat down conspicuously ignoring Wilson's presence.

"Dammit House! Don't tell me she is what I think she is!" He exclaimed, catching up his friend and standing in front of him with a look of true disappointment on his face.

"She is" House answered calmly, pouring him a glass of Bourbon. He held the bottle up to him "You want to share a drink with your old friend?" He asked, with a slight provoking ironic grin.

Wilson stared at him, completely aghast and remained standing, with his hands on his hips.

"You slept with a hooker?" He almost yelled at him, ignoring his offer. "Cuddy just left and the only smart thing you found to do is get drunk and sleep with a hooker?"

He looked really upset, yet House sustained his glare and slowly put the bottle back on the table.

"Poor Wilson!" He started, "Life is such a bitch, right? But just tell me one thing: why would it be a shock? Like you just said: Cuddy left! She cancelled her appointment and SHE LEFT!... At least with hookers, things are simpler. You're not surprised to see them leave because that's what you pay them for!"

The tone was harsh and furious but it didn't fool Wilson. In the end, he could see the vivid pain hidden behind House's desperate cynicism. He sighed heavily and finally sat in the sofa next to his friend. Without a word, he took the bottle on the table, uncapped it and swallowed a large gulp out of it. Then he put it back and sighed again.

"Is it me or does she have a little resemblance with Lolita Monica, that ingenuous blond nurse from General Hospital?" He said looking straight ahead. "Is it the reason why you hired her?"

Almost in spite of himself, House exhaled a quiet laugh.

"You're an idiot. First of all, it's Luisa Maria, not _Lolita-I-don't-know-what-stupid-name-you-just-came-up-with!_ And secondly, ingenuous nurses are really not the kind I'm fantasizing about…"

"You don't need to justify yourself… I guess that's none of my business anyway…"

"If it were about role playing, at least I would have chosen the brunette working girl type…" He stopped in the middle of his sentence and looked away. A heavy silence settled in the room. "I didn't have sex with that girl." He suddenly added out of the blue, still avoiding his friend's gaze "I hired her to massage my thigh. She's just a hooker with useful extra skills…"

"Oh! … Ok" Wilson said a little embarrassed. "So that means your pain is getting worse?"

House abruptly turned his head back and shot him a distraught glare. Everything was lying under that glare, saying how indeed unbearable the pain was. That glare spoke about the one in his thigh. But above all, it spoke about the other pain… the one no massage nor alcohol, not even pills could make go away.

Wilson looked down to avoid House's gaze and stared at his feet, not knowing what to say. A long quiet moment passed, while they both sat completely silent, each of them trying to process this new reality and the impact it could have and was already having on their lives.

"I need a Vicodin prescription." House suddenly said, breaking the silence.

Wilson sighed resignedly. He rummaged in his coat's pocket and took his prescription pad. He ripped off the sheet of paper and handed it over House.

"Here." He mumbled, cursing himself for enabling his friend's addiction. "Just don't take too many."

"Yeah 'right mom…" House snapped, taking the paper and hastily putting it inside his pocket.

He leaned down towards the table and took the bottle of Bourbon to pour him another drink. Wilson watched him and noticed his shaky hand when he brought the glass up to his mouth and drank. He tried to repress the puff and looked away, clenching his jaws.

"Foreman came to see me." He said, changing the subject. "I am supposed to update you on your patient…"

"So?"

"He has Lymphadenopathy."

"As a complication of lung abscess?" House asked, raising an eyebrow.

"How should I know? This is your patient not mine!" Wilson puffed his helplessness.

House put his head inside his left hand and rubbed his forehead.

"Sarcoidosis." He said after a short moment. "Put him on corticosteroid and he'll be fine."

"Foreman says Whipple's Disease."

"Yeah cuz' Foreman likes to disagree with me! Tell him he should have stayed at Mercy if he wanted to run his own Diagnosis Department."

"House! You barely followed that case, you..."

"Why are you asking me then? Foreman came ask you, which means he's just as helpless as you are to solve this case."

"Or maybe he came to me because he knew I would tell you about that so it was just his way of following the protocol and submit his medical decisions to you…"

"Oh pleaaase!" House shot him a 'cut-the-crap' face. "Just tell Foreman to put the damn guy on corticosteroid that's all!"

Wilson closed his eyes and took a deep breath, mentally counting to ten to let the unnerving feeling subside.

"Fine. You're right. After all, this is your Diagnosis Department… I just hope you know what you're doing."

"Or else what? The patient will die? The family will sue? Cuddy will be pissed off? Oh no wait, scratch that last part! She can't be! SHE'S NOT HERE! Because she doesn't care, you see! She doesn't care about what happens…"

"House... You should…"

"What? I should WHAT?" He exclaimed edgily, "I should do nothing, that's what!! I tried! Ok? I tried and she's gone! So now there's nothing to be done…"

Wilson bit his lips and shook his head. It hurt him to see his friend in such misery and pain. But there was nothing he could do indeed. He glanced at House and stood up. He already knew the answer but he asked, nonetheless.

"Do you want me to stay?"

House raised his mocking ironic face to him, and forced a smile.

"No! Just go home! If I needed a nurse I'd call your Lola Marina… or whatever!"

"Lolita Monica!" Wilson corrected him with a grin. "And I just suggested a name! I know no Lola or Lolita for real!"

House grinned back

"Sure! That's cuz' yours are not the exotic type…" He teased.

Wilson opened his mouth but stopped before he added anything. He just stared at his friend instead.

"Ok. Well… Don't… drink too much," He said pointing the bottle with his chin, "and try not to mix this with too much pills."

"Yeah… You already told me that."

"Good night, House."

"Good night, Wilson."

Wilson gave a last reassuring smile to him and started to head towards the door. When his hand was on the knob, he heard House call him back. He turned around and raised his eyebrows in a quizzical typical face.

"Thank you." House simply said to him in a soft voice.

Wilson looked at him and gave a silent nod, before he turned on his heels and left the apartment. He crossed the road and got into his car. He remained staring blankly into the dark night, and images of House's torn apart face came in his mind. He set his lips, feeling the anger pervading him. He put his hand in his jacket's pocket and took his phone.

"Cuddy, it's Wilson… I don't know what the hell it is you're doing right now but I guess you probably have your reasons…… but I think you should know that House is… well… let's say he didn't take your little escape very good… and he misses you…………Maybe that's not what he told you but…………… God! You two are worst than stupid stubborn children! …… Just give him some news……… Cuddy please…………"

* * *

**A/N**

_I apologize for the stress I've been causing you with Cuddy's mysterious disappearance... I promise you that you'll hear from her soon... but most of all, I can tell you that, at some point you'll know what this is all about and (I'm sure) you'll forgive me... :-)_

_I'm not a sadistic person, but still I have to admit that those chapters are among my favorites in the story... your comments on them are a real reward to me... please don't stop sharing your thoughts!_

_have a nice day ~ maya_

_["lurker()" , I'm sorry to have nothing more interesting to say within my chapters. however, I sincerely appreciate the real dedication with which you are friendly and sort of faithfully complaining about it! :) ]_


	50. Chapter 50

**_Hi! HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER!... where finally... you'll hear about the missing loved one... :)_**

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**** CHAPTER 50 ****

Foreman was right. House's patient had Whipple's disease. Yet he first docilely gave him corticosteroid as House had said, but the patient's condition got suddenly worse after 24 hours of treatment. Eventually, it appeared to be a good thing for the patient that Foreman was a proud and confident doctor who wasn't scared to disregard House's diagnosis, because he took the responsibility to stop the treatment and put him on IV Potassium instead. And he saved the patient's life. After a few hours, although he was still feeling weak, Mr. Myers seemed out of danger and started to recover slowly. Foreman came to Wilson to inform him about what had happened. He didn't do it to take the credit or to disparage House's unexpected incompetence; he just did what he had always done: he followed the rules and did his job.

Wilson thanked him and as soon as Foreman walked out of his office, a tremendous irrational fury invaded him. He was mostly furious against himself, for having blindly followed House's recommendations while he perfectly knew he shouldn't have. House didn't care about the patient. House's mind was too preoccupied and devastated by Cuddy's getaway to even think straight about any medical cases. And yet, after House had told to put the patient on corticosteroid, he had fought with Foreman to make him give up on his first idea and follow his friend's order. But Foreman was right! House was the one being wrong and yet Wilson had chosen to listen to his him, instead of the most involved and concerned doctor on this case. And he was infuriated for this unforgivable weakness which had almost cost a man's life.

Another day had passed since he had come by to see House and Wilson was really becoming tired of this mess and all the consequences which, naturally, had all ended up inside his hands for him to take care of. That was enough! Maybe House was incapable of dealing with anything other than his own misery right now, but locking himself up inside his apartment wouldn't help him feel better. He needed to come back, deal with what he had always done to divert his mind with the only thing his brain was able to stay focused on: he needed to solve new puzzles. He needed medical challenges. And in order to make him realize that and want to come back, his pride needed to be piqued.

Wilson picked up his phone and dialed his friend's number. After a few tones, he got the answering machine. "_Yes this is House, the brilliant doctor. Unfortunately, I'm not available right now. You'll have to go figure out what the patient is dying for all by yourself. And if your request isn't about medicine then you'll have to go find yourself new friends. Because… I'm not available for that either_."

"House? … Pick up the phone!... House! … Ok! Fine… Let's say you're not here… Nice message by the way… I see you're keeping yourself occupied… In a very adult responsible way… Anyway, I thought I should let you know that Foreman saved your ass. You should really thank him you know… Thank God, he's as stubborn as you are, because _HE_ was right. Your patient has Whipple's Disease… Something you would never have missed by the way, if you'd been more focused on this guy's case instead of drowning yourself into Bourbon… But I guess the most important thing is that the patient is alive, right? So … Just give me a call… In case you have a specific way to formulate your excuses to Foreman, you know, for me to repeat them to him… on your behalf…"

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On the other end of the line, House ogled at his phone, until the beep of the answering machine collecting the message echoed in the room. He closed his eyes and tilted his head backwards on his couch's backrest. He took a few deep breathes and straightened up again. Then he opened his right hand and stared intensely at the small objects he was holding in his palm. It was a pair of earrings. _Her_ pair of earrings. He had accidentally found them inside his nightstand's drawer while he was searching for his pills. His pills. He needed them now. He rummaged in his pants' pocket and fished out the orange plastic bottle. After he had swallowed his dose, he winced and forcefully rubbed his thigh with his clenched fist, still tightly holding the small pieces of jewelry inside his hand. Then he looked around and it overwhelmed him again. Her absence, the emptiness of his home, his uselessness without her…

"Guess what?... I almost killed a patient today. Well no. That's not exactly true… I _failed_ at saving a patient today. _That_ is more correct … Oh but sorry! I shouldn't tell you that since you DON'T CARE, do you? ... But you know what? I don't care either………….. and I hope this is cancer… I hope they'll cut your fucking boobs. YOU HEAR ME?......... And you were right… the only good thing about fucking you was that it was free… because apart from that…"

He slapped his cell shut and he started to quiver. _What has he done?_ _No……… No………… That was not true…… That was not……… _He gasped for air and covered his face with his wobbling hand, breathing fast inside his palm, a lump tightening his dry throat. He dialed her number again and brought the cell phone to his ear.

"………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………"

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And finally his phone rang. It had been almost an hour now since he had left the message, but he knew who it was. At last! He had managed to touch a sensible spot.

"House?" He exclaimed into the receiver with a smug voice "So? Have you come up with the best apologizing formula yet? ..."

"Wilson? ..."

The voice was hesitant and scarcely louder than a whisper but he recognized it immediately.

"Cuddy? ... Cuddy, is that you?"

As an only answer, he heard her gasp on the other end of the line.

"Oh my God! Are you okay?…"

"I'm fine." She said, her voice scarcely above a whisper.

An awkward silence followed her admission. Wilson frowned and shook his head as if he needed that to jolt him awake from a bad dream.

"Where are you?" He asked, but of course, without much surprise, he didn't get any answer; only the sound of her heavy stressful breathing. "Cuddy, are you taking care of yourself?" He said, trying a different approach, "Are you at least seeing a doctor?"

"Yes, I am."

"Who is it? Who are you seeing?"

She puffed and another silence spread through the receiver.

"Wilson? ... I'm calling to ask you to…… take care of everyday matters in the hospital… Will you do that for me please?"

"Of course I will! But… This is just temporary, right?"

"Yes……………………………"

"When are you coming back?"

"I don't know…" She sighed heavily and Wilson thought he heard her voice choked a little.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"Yes, I'm all right..." Her voice became hoarse and she took a deep breath to try to control her quavering blow. Then another heavy silence. "How is he?" She finally asked.

Wilson couldn't believe what he had just heard. A mingled rush of relief and anger flooded into his blood.

"You're asking HOW he is?" He exclaimed, "How do you think he is? House is a wreck! He's popping twice as much Vicodin as usual, which he swallows down with Bourbon. His leg hurts him like hell … but the physical pain is nothing compared to the one he feels right now… since you left …" He paused and waited for her to react but all he could hear was the sound of her breathings, slightly accelerating. "This is affecting his medical judgment… He almost killed a patient!" He added in an accusing exclamation, as if it was her fault.

"Yes. I know what he did." She said, and the last echo of her words faded behind the sound of a growing sob.

Wilson listened to her shed tears without saying a word. When her cries calmed down a little, he sighed heavily, feeling sorry for her. She sighed too and he could almost touch her pain coming up to him through the receiver within the sound of her moan.

"Lisa ………………… You must come back …… This is stupid. None of you can take this any longer."

"He doesn't care." She whispered. Her voice choked with emotion and she began to weep again. "He said horrible things to me…… "

"He didn't mean any of them… He's hurt… Come on! … You know how he usually reacts in that case….. Please… At least give me the name of the doctor you're seeing… we're worrying sick about you…"

"I don't know…" She struggled.

"Lisa please… Believe me… House DOES care about you……"

She breathed several times with her nose against the receiver, sending the vibrating and distressing waves of her blows up to him.

"Russell." She finally murmured almost inaudibly.

"What? WHO?" Wilson clutched the phone and pressed it harder against his ear.

"Bill Russell" She repeated and she hung up the phone.

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"Lunch is served!"

"I'm coming."

The clicking sound of the opening door made her jolt and she hastily straightened herself up, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.

"Hey! But you're crying!"

"I'm fine, mom. I'm coming."

Lisa Cuddy sniffed and forced a smile to the woman who was cautiously stepping inside the room.

"No you're not! Look at yourself! … What's wrong?"

"Nothing … I'm just a little… tired"

"You've been here for almost a week now, and since the moment you've arrived you seem so… sad… Are you really sure everything's ok? "

Mrs. Cuddy sat on the bed next to her daughter and Lisa averted her gaze, looking at the cloudy sky through the roof light of her room.

"Yes." She said, stubbornly avoiding her mother's studying gaze "I just needed to take a break… And I wanted to spend some time with you and dad… I thought it'd make you happy. We never have time to see each other!"

"Honey, you're not good at lying you know. You're not here to visit us. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy that you're here. But… you're not here for me or your father. You just spend your days locked up in your room, or out, doing God knows what… Your father and I aren't blind, you know. I may not see you very often but I can still recognize when my daughter is not feeling well"

Lisa Cuddy sighed and closed her eyes for a short moment. She had forgotten how intuitive her mother was. She tried to put up her best convincing face and turned her eyes back towards her.

"I'm ok…"

"Is it your work? Do you have any trouble at the hospital?"

"No! Nothing's wrong at work!" She exclaimed, unwillingly sounding a little bit jitterier than she had wished.

Mrs. Cuddy reached out her hand and lightly brushed her daughter's hair with her fingertips.

"Ok," she said carefully, "is it about that man who asked you out then?"

"Mom!" A look of dismay flickered on Lisa's face and she shook her head. "Bill didn't _ask me out_… He's a friend. He's a doctor just like me. He's helping me… and we're just going to have dinner, that's all…" She sniffed again louder and brought her fingers under her nostrils to swab her runny nose.

"Lisa… Look at me."

She turned her face towards her mother again and her red watery eyes spoke for her. Mrs. Cuddy stared into her daughter's eyes with a motherly concern.

"I'm your mother but… I'm a woman too, you know." She said softly. She covered her daughter's hand with hers and squeezed it gently. "I won't ask you his name if you don't want to tell me, that's fine! … But … I know these eyes. I remember when you had these eyes… It was a long time ago. But it was just like now. You locked yourself up, crying in your room during all summer… I asked you what was wrong but you never said a thing and I felt so helpless. I just can't sit there and watch my daughter be sad like that again!"

Lisa Cuddy bit her bottom lip to stop the slight tremble that had started when her mother had spoken about that summer. _Wasn't it ironic?_ She thought… And yet it was true. She probably just had two real heartbreaking disappointments in love in her whole life and both of them were because of _him_. But she'll get over it. She'll get over it just like she had the first time.

"I'll be ok, mom" She said resolutely, taking a deep breath. "Just go down now and I'll join you in a few minutes. I need to powder my nose or I'll scare dad with my awful face!" She managed to flash a shy smile and Mrs. Cuddy enveloped her with a fond look.

"Ok. But don't take too long. You know your father easily gets impatient when he's hungry."

* * *

**_A/N_**

_thank you once again for all your kind words about this story. it means a lot to me..._

_I know the angst is becoming.... well.... angsty, especially with this new chapter but, there's a light at the end of the tunnel, I swear :)_

_anyway, I hope that:_

_1) you'll forgive me for keeping House in his misery like that a little longer... but I just love to write him like that and I think that many, many times we've seen that the lower he gets, the more he learns about himself and makes progresses... so this is for the best... I hope! _

_2) (esp. for beti86) I know, I'd read you said you were wishing Cuddy hadn't run to hide at her parent's...well...uhmm... sorry about that! I hope it doesn't ruin the spirit of this fic for you._

_enjoy your life! ~ maya_

_PS: (to huddles777) I can't even begin to explain the feeling your last comment left me... this was just so... wow! THANK YOU... unfortunately, the answer is.... 'no'! LOL_


	51. Chapter 51

**_A NEW CHAPTER! where you'll take with House his last deepening step into misery..._**

**_I hope you'll enjoy it... :)_**

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**** CHAPTER 51 ****

It had taken him almost half an hour to find it, but he had! He had done some researches on the internet, made some phone calls to confirm and now he could match up the name with a place: Dr. Bill Russell – Massachusetts General – Boston. He needed to go tell House right away, tell him that they had a lead. All the way while he drove to House's place he couldn't help but feeling excitement and relief for his friend. Yes, House was a mean bastard sometimes, but he deserved to be happy too, like any other man. And in his own, maybe wrong way, he really loved her. And he needed her. Just as much as she needed him. Wilson had no doubt about that now.

After he had parked his car in front of House's building, he practically run to his door and knocked energetically, hopping up and down with impatience at the threshold. He waited for a short moment, wondering how he was going to tell him. _What the hell was he doing?_ He knocked again, louder and strained his ear to the sound coming from behind the door but he could only hear silence. A heavy, odd, nerve-racking silence. He tried to open the door and found it locked but prompted by an awkward feeling he stretched his hand above the door frame and took the spare key to open.

He stepped inside the apartment and found the living room quiet and empty. He cautiously called out his friend's name, and walked inside, heading towards the bathroom.

"House! Are you in there?" He kept calling, still carefully pacing and arriving at the end of the hallway. "You wouldn't believe what…"

And he stopped.

He froze up when he saw the silhouette lying on the bedroom floor. It took him less than a second while he just stayed petrified by fear, unable to make a single move, but then he threw himself down next to his friend. There was vomit on the floor. Vomit and shards. But what took Wilson's breath away was the blood. There was blood on the floor.

"House! … HOUSE!" He frantically shook the inanimate body, while at the same time he tried to locate where the blood was coming from.

And then he saw the cut. Near the wrist of the right hand. House's fist was clenched and he seized it to evaluate how bad it was. That was when, most unexpectedly, House abruptly jerked out of unconsciousness and threw his fist in the air to free his hand, almost hitting Wilson in the jaw.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He shouted and immediately he brought his left hand to his head.

"Oh my God! What happened?" Wilson said, still in shock.

"I tripped over and I fell…" House mumbled, laboriously struggling to sit up.

He looked at his injured hand and opened his fist then glanced at his palm. Wilson couldn't see what was in there that House was holding so tightly but he saw him put it inside his pocket and when he took his hand out, Wilson seized it decisively and brought it up to study the wound.

"Let me have a look…" He started, but House forcefully pulled his hand away.

"That's nothing!... I cut myself when I fell."

"It looks bad. You may need stitches. There's a lot of blood…"

"THAT'S NOTHING!" House repeated, yelling and he took a look at the cut himself. "It's superficial. Dammit! Why do you need to overreact like a sissy every time!! I wonder how you managed to stay a doctor in all those years if you can't stand the sight of blood…"

Wilson set his lips and took a deep breath, stomaching the sarcastic comment. Another one. Just hurled like that for no reason, just because House was a stupid jerk who didn't know how to deal with his hurt feelings. Wilson looked at him with bitterness. House knew he had crossed a line and guilt spread through his features, but that was just a fleeting moment and soon he wore his proud face again. He pushed himself up on his non injured hand to try to stand up. Wilson moved back to let him grab a hold of his cane and when he saw him wince, he instantaneously reached out his hand and seized his arm to steady him and help him stand up. House clenched his jaws and stared at Wilson's hand in silent. Wilson promptly helped him back to his feet and let go of his grab. They gave each other a challenging look but House yielded first and lowered his eyes.

"and now, will you at least let me put a bandage on that wound, or is this leaving-blood-stains all over the place part of your new decoration plan?"

House smirked and looked down at his feet. He bit his lips when he saw the mess that was there. Puke, broken glass, blood, dissolved in the small puddle of Bourbon that had spilt when the bottle had broken … And he felt ashamed.

"Fine! Just play the nurse if you want!" He said ironically, in an attempt to deflect "But I'm warning you, I'm not letting you undress me!" And he started to head towards his bathroom.

Wilson shook his head and followed him. House sat on the bathtub's rim and Wilson rummaged into the drawers to find some alcohol and bandages. He turned around to face House who docilely gave him his hand. Wilson took it and evaluated the edges of the cut. It was near the hollow of the wrist and it was pretty large and certainly deeper than House would have admitted but most of the blood seemed to have coagulated. There was just a slight remaining drip, apparently only caused when pressure was put on the cut. Wilson soaked a compress with alcohol and put it on House's wrist.

"It might sting a little" He warned, purposely pressing really hard on the wound.

House winced and glared at him. He knew that was payback for the fear he had caused to his friend and he endured the burning sensation without a word. Wilson then wrapped his wrist in a bandage, and they stayed in the bathroom for a short while. After this silent moment, Wilson sighed and he looked into his friend's eyes with a concerned face. House raised his eyebrows and interrogated him with a quizzical look.

"House?" Wilson started cautiously "Did you really cut yourself by accident?"

House couldn't repress the puff of shock that came out of his mouth. He felt appalled by the very thought that was lying under Wilson's words

"Are you saying you actually think I cut myself on purpose? … Oh no wait! … You think I tried to…"

Wilson lowered his eyes in embarrassment.

"I'm not saying you tried to kill yourself!" He denied, defending himself. "But cutting yourself on purpose is something you already did!"

"Well sorry to disappoint you Jimmy" House answered embittered. "Today is not the day you'll find me dead drenched in my own blood yet. This is just a stupid cut I made when l fell on a piece of broken glass."

Wilson took a deep breath to try to take House's sarcasm with indifference. He stood in front of him and just nodded, acknowledging how words could be useless sometimes. All of a sudden, House swayed a little and he brought his hand to his head.

"What?" Wilson asked worried "Do you feel dizzy? You hit your head when you fell, maybe you have…"

House shot him a glare.

"No you idiot!" He exclaimed angrily and he averted his eyes, unease "My head spins that's all…"

Wilson shook his head in dismay.

"Yeah, of course it does" He puffed "How many drinks have you already had? Or should I say how much alcohol did it take you to swallow half your bottle of pills?"

House sustained Wilson's stare but remained silent.

"God House! Look at you! It's barely 2 in the afternoon and I found you passed out in your own puke! You can never stop, can you? …" He looked at him with both sadness and resentment. "How many pills did you take?"

"I'M IN PAIN!" House shouted aggressively.

"Yeah. You're in pain I can see that. But mixing Vicodin and Bourbon IS NOT the solution because it has nothing to do with physical pain and you perfectly know that!"

"Really?" House snarled "How do YOU know? Have you had one piece of your thigh cut off? Have you had a chunk of your muscle removed? Do you know how it is to constantly feel like someone is stabbing your leg with a butcher's knife?"

"No. I don't. but I know how it feels to lose someone you love"

"Haahahaaa" House theatrically let out a sardonic laugh, to which the specific acoustic of the bathroom gave a strange echo. "Ladies and Gentleman, please Welcome Dr. James Wilson, devoted oncologist AND psychoanalyst on his spare time."

"Don't deflect House. Not this time. You can't pretend you're not affected by Cuddy's getaway."

"SHUT UP! I don't need a fucking shrink to psychoanalyze me and tell me what affects me and what doesn't!"

"She's gone."

"YEAH THANK YOU! I'VE NOTICED THAT ALREADY!"

"Why aren't you looking for her?"

House puffed spitefully.

"I don't know where she is!"

"You don't know or you don't want to know?"

"What difference does that make anyway?"

"I know something that could help you find her."

Wilson's confession visibly took House by surprise and he turned his head away, trying to process the news.

"No." He denied. "She doesn't want to see me."

"Jesus House! WHEN?... when are YOU going to act like an ADULT? You care for her! WHY do you keep screwing it up like a stubborn selfish child?"

House widened his eyes in astonishment.

"SHE'S THE ONE WHO LEFT!!" He exclaimed and a look of hurt clouded his face over.

"Yes she left! And now what? That's it! You're going to accept it? You're going to give up on her? Just like that? ... Don't you want to know her reasons?" Wilson's tone became provoking "No House… that's not you… Because YOU always want to know! You always want to have explanations…"

But House stubbornly kept avoiding Wilson's angry accusing stare.

"FINE!! Just stay in your drunken stupor! Pop up pills if you think it'll help you forget her!! But next time you'll OD, I won't be here House! I won't be here to clean up your mess…"

Wilson turned on his heels to leave but House raised his cane in front of his chest and stopped him in his fit. Wilson heavily sighed and he couldn't tell if it was out of relief or exhaustion, but it was probably both. He turned back to look at House and a tired smiled flickered on his lips.

"She called me." He said

"Of course she called YOU! The Board certified good reliable doctor…"

Wilson shot him a glare and House swallowed back his pride, trying to control his first impulsive angry reaction as much as he could.

"Sorry" He mumbled "Go on."

"She told me the name of a doctor she's seeing."

"But you checked Gruber and you said she didn't…" House started, puzzled.

"I never said it was someone in Princeton…"

"Please, tell me she didn't leave the country" House said with a theatrical pouting face.

"She's in Boston." Wilson answered "That's all I know. But that's a start, right? You could call that doctor and…"

As soon as he heard the name of the city, House's mouth dropped open and a fond smile lightened his face. Wilson didn't realize it straight away but once he did, he stopped and studied his friend intrigued.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Of course! It is so obvious and predictable …" House said still smiling. "And yet she managed to make it … unpredictable and surprising!"

"What do you mean?

House promptly stood up, and he walked out of the bathroom with an inspired look on his face.

"Sorry, I need to check out something" He said mysteriously.

Wilson stayed rooted to his spot, a little bemused by this sudden burst but he finally joined House in the living room. He found him bent over his desk, typing on his computer. When he approached, House straightened up and turned to him with a large self-satisfied smile.

"What is it?" Wilson asked, getting more and more disconcerted by House's renewed vitality.

"I'm gonna take a shower. Book me a sit on the next flight to Boston." House answered, patting him on the shoulder.

And he limped away towards the bathroom. Wilson followed him with his gaze, completely flabbergasted and then he leaned down to the screen. What he saw written there made him roll his eyes and smile. He read it and he understood why that little sparkle of hope he had spotted behind his friend's eyes was back.

Benjamin and Dana Cuddy

295 Perkins St, Boston MA 02130

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Later on House reappeared, changed and clean. He looked drawn and his eyes were still red but yet, he seemed in a less pitiful condition.

"How do I look?"

"You look awful."

"Thank you. I knew you'd say something nice!" He smirked. "Are you gonna take me to the airport now?"

"House! You can't go now. You need to rest first."

"I'll have plenty of time to rest when I'm dead. But now I need to go to Boston. So will you drive me to the airport or shall I call a cab?"

Wilson sighed. It was a foregone lost game to try to stop House when he had set his mind on something. And that "thing" his mind was set on right now was one on which it would have been definitely impossible to make him give up.

"Ok" He said resignedly. "I'll drive you. But at least wait until you stop smelling Bourbon like a drunken hobo."

"Hobos can't afford my Bourbon!"

"Whatever! The flight is not before 5.30pm anyway."

House puffed his annoyance.

"I told you the _NEXT_ flight to Boston!"

Wilson shook his head and gave him a helpless shrug.

"I'm not responsible for the air companies' timetables!"

House frowned and pointed an accusing finger at him.

"YOU !... You did that on purpose!... All right FINE! I'm going to rest! Now you happy?"

"Yes. And after that, I strongly advise you to clean up your mess; because, supposing you manage to bring Cuddy back, you wouldn't want to welcome her in the middle of the disastrous proves of your latest lost of self-control, right?"

"Why _supposing_?" House asked, trying to show self-confidence the best he could.

Wilson thought back to how distant and closed-up Cuddy had seemed to him when he had talked to her on the phone.

"This is not going to be easy" He said, hoping House was really aware of that himself.

"Would it still be worth the try if it was?" House answered with a mischievous smile.

* * *

**A/N**

_So? not much to say I think since the chapter speaks for itself..._

_because soon, as you've all guessed, not only will you hear about Cuddy, but also SEE her... _

_PLEASE DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT LEAVING.... YOUR THOUGHTS :-) thanks_

_be happy! ~ maya_

_PS (to ItsNevrLupus): see? I think it's safe to say that the end of the tunnel is not only near, but you're NOT attached to the headlamp of a subway train, or if you are, I swear there's a VERY comfy airbag noy far, that'll take your crash... LOL _


	52. Chapter 52

**_Hi everyone! NEW CHAPTER... where... uhmm well, basically 5 words: Boston, watch out! heeeeeeeeeeeeere's.........HOUSE!... :-)_**

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**** CHAPTER 52 ****

He was standing there, since the moment the cab he had taken at the airport had driven him there. He'd been standing there for the last fifteen minutes. Standing there and staring. Staring straight ahead, across the road, at her parent's house. And all those things about his legendary self-confidence and his emotional non-involvement were nothing other than pure bullshit in that very moment because he felt like an insignificant useless tiny dust in the universe. He felt unsure, uneasy and ashamed. He was literally overwhelmed by a brimming flow of feelings that were running through his veins and were putting him in an unnerving soreness, because he was not used to that. He was not used to FEEL so much. So many different emotions all at the same time…

He knew he had been a jerk. No. More than a jerk, he had been a dreadfully mean bastard to her. He'd said horrible things to her. Horrible things he didn't mean. But he had been so crushed when she had left. He didn't remember it could be so painful to feel like that again. He didn't even think he could get so low and be so miserable just because of another human being's absence.

"_There is one missing from the world, and the whole world has emptied_"

But naaah … He'd never believed in that crap! Cheesy formulas were not for him. He had suffered. Suffered like hell because of her. BECAUSE OF HER. Because she had left. She was the stupid thoughtless one. NOT HIM. And he hated her for that. For what she had done. For the pain she had made him feel, while he had done so many efforts, to be the kind of man she would want to keep. Because no woman had ever wanted to keep him before and but her, she'd made him believe she would.

No. It was not her fault. She was scared. She was lost. And he hadn't been able to help her. He hadn't been able to hold her back. Damn! How he hated that lump! Yes he hated that lump more than he hated her. And yet, the relief… the relief when Wilson had said she was seeing another doctor. He knew she couldn't be reckless like that. Not her. She would take care of her. She would be fine. She was his woman. Proud and strong and unpredictable and stubborn and annoying. But she was his woman…

He closed his eyes for a brief moment and her image appeared in his mind. Could it be possible to want a woman that much? He wanted her so badly in that moment that his whole body was tingling. He opened his eyes again and he gave a last long stare at the house in front of him. It was an elegant Victorian house with a stair leading to a large porch sheltering the front door. He took a deep breath and resolutely crossed the road towards that stair.

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He raised his cane to knock on the door but he held his hand and smiled. He spotted the bell and rang instead. Then he stopped breathing and looked at his feet until the door opened. A woman appeared, standing there. She was refined and welcomed him with a warm smile, but she couldn't help staring at him and his most puzzling silhouette in disarray. The strained features, the still red-rimmed eyes, the creased shirt, the stubble, the cane, all those little details were surely hardly speaking for him. He narrowed his eyes and gasped, searching for the right words. The first words.

"Mrs. Cuddy?" He gripped his cane's handle tighter "I'm Gregory House … I'm…"

She thoroughly studied him and her smile changed a little. _Gregory House?_ That was a name she had already heard her daughter mention before. In some random occasions she hadn't really borne in mind, but she however perfectly remembered the way her daughter's eyes lightened up each time she talked about him.

"You're here for Lisa?" She asked.

House gulped and let out an irrepressible sigh of relief.

"She's not here." Mrs. Cuddy went on and she saw House's face clouding over with disappointment.

The more she scrutinized this man, whose scruffiness looked more like a subtle provoking way-of-life than an actual real careless demeanor, the more she had the tickling feeling that there was something about him and the fact that her daughter unexpectedly turned up at the door a week ago, completely wrecked. She couldn't tell what, or explain why, but it was there, in the way he was intensely "asking" her something with his piercing gaze.

"She's out for dinner … with a man" She added, purposely choosing the word "man" instead of "friend" to see if it would trigger some reaction in those eyes.

And indeed it did. Surprise, disbelief, confusion, anger, pain, deny… like an unstoppable train of emotions running in the depth of those blue eyes. She saw him almost clutch hold of his cane as if he would stumble and fall and then he took a deep breath.

"All right" He said, nodding and most unexpectedly he didn't move a bit and kept standing there, as if he couldn't resign himself to leave.

Mrs. Cuddy observed him and it became more and more evident to her.

"Mr. House" She asked, with a tone showing an irrepressible need to check out that little hunch that was bugging her "Do you know Lisa well?"

House clenched his jaws and stared silently at the woman in front of him. He read the subtle insinuation and a slight mischievous smile flickered on the corner of his lips. "_You mean, well enough to know exactly how to make her moan and come under my caresses?_" He thought, but as it surely would have sounded too much inappropriate to say that kind of things during a first encounter, he chose a less blunt answer, still in his style though.

"Mrs. Cuddy, I think your daughter would certainly agree with me to say yes, in every sense of the word."

Mrs. Cuddy narrowed her eyes and an inexplicable motherly gut reaction made her open her door wider and she motioned House to enter.

"Come on in Mr. House" She said "My husband and I were about to have a cup of tea, maybe you would like to share one with us?"

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She couldn't believe she was there, having dinner with him. Bill Russell. If someone had told her she would have accepted an invitation from the boor who had annoyed her so much during that symposium in Seattle, she would have burst into laughter. Ironic laughter. Because life was so strange and unexpected.

When, a week ago, she had stepped in MGH, in search of someone she could trust to guide her and take care of her medical case she would never have thought she'd have ended asking him to handle her case. She remembered that when she had stepped in there, she was just a total mess. She couldn't think straight. But she had found him. Fate? She was looking for advice at the admission desk and she had heard him call her name.

Truth was she had completely forgotten he was working at MGH. But him? She had remembered him! Bill Russell… And how he'd acted with her, back in Seattle, like an unsubtle philanderer, trying to get his hands all over her… but things were not the same on that particular day. She'd been feeling completely lost and devastated and most unexpectedly, he had seemed more well-mannered with her and far less improper than she could recall. Actually, he was much more different as a doctor than he was as a man. He had made her look at him from a different angle. She had felt reassured. And she had confided in him. He'd asked no uncalled-for questions. He'd remained totally professional and he had taken care of her. She had done further exams which, thank God, had ruled out the cancer diagnosis. The lump was still there though and he hadn't been able to explain why or what it was yet but he'd sworn to her he would find an answer. And she had felt appeased. A little…

Of course, since the very moment she'd left Princeton, House was in each and every single one of her thoughts. She had run off, from him, from her house, from her job, from her hospital and it had been most certainly an inexplicable outburst, one she was still struggling to explain, but she knew she had to. She couldn't live like that any longer. Pretend everything was fine when it was not. Pretend she had everything she needed to be happy when she had not. Pretend House could be the right man when ... maybe he could not.

The day when she'd discovered she had a lump, she had cried. But strangely less due to the lump itself than to him. She had cried, because she knew. She knew it would be impossible for him to forget about that … and… her body … her breasts … And it had been a horrible feeling. A feeling she had tried to repress, so hard. But she couldn't. The night before she left and House had been called back in the hospital after they had sex, she hadn't been able to sleep. She couldn't help thinking about him and the way he was always looking at her. What did he want? What were his feelings for her? He never told. He suggested, insinuated, implied … But he never told. Of course he made her feel beautiful, desired, wanted. And it was flattering. But what if the lump was something bad and they had to cut her breast? Would he still want her? Would he still look at her?... No. Too many questions and too few answers. She was not JUST a body. She was not proud of herself and of what she had done, but she had to leave before she would suffer too much.

At first, it had felt like someone was taking an awfully heavy burden out of her chest. She'd felt relief. No more pressure coming from those scrutinizing eyes, studying her, demanding explanations, evaluating… But God! How brief the relief had been! Twenty years and she had been fool enough to think she could erase that in one day? It was just impossible. Trying to forget him was even more excruciating than being with him. She had barely reached Boston that she was already missing him. Why lie to herself? Why fly away when things were not better there? However far she would try to go, he would still haunt her and she would still miss him.

But then … there were his messages. His anger. Spiteful. Hurtful. Horrifying. And she had cried… Of course, she knew he was hurt. And she knew she was responsible but why? Did she really deserve that? No. She'd made the right decision. She had to move on. It was unwholesome. This relation was destroying her. She had to forget him. Forget him…

"The last time we met, you were seeing a man? I didn't ask, because it's none of my business but … I find it quite strange that a man could leave a woman like you alone for a whole week …

She was jolted awake out of her reverie. She looked around her, puzzled. Bill Russell. She was having dinner with Bill Russell.

"Sorry, what did you say?" She asked with innocent eyes, trying to hide her complete lack of focus during the last five minutes or more.

"I said, He's not really a wise man, is he? The man you're seeing … because I know I would never leave you alone for that long if I were him…"

"I'm not with him anymore." She answered with a wobbling voice.

He gave her the perfect empathic smile and she answered with a shy one, twiddling her napkin between her fingers and struggling against the rush of mingled emotions that had pervaded her when she'd heard herself say it out loud for the first time…

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"So you're working with Lisa?"

"Yep! Well more _for_ her you know. She gives orders… I disobey … then she yells and she assigns me to clinic duty for Eternity… And I serve my sentence, swabbing crotches … but she's got the whip hand so… I don't really have a choice!"

Dana Cuddy widened her eyes in astonishment. House smiled and frowned, trying to swallow back his words.

"It's a joke … Sorry … a bad one." He muttered, embarrassingly.

But Lisa's mother raised her chin to him and gave him a genuinely amused smile.

"No. That's fine. Really. I think I just had forgotten how compelling Lisa could be when she has decided that things should go her way!"

This time it was House's turn to be taken aback. Mrs. Cuddy was no fool and she had managed to quite surprise him. He liked that. He gave her her smile back and raised his mug of tea up as if he was about to toast.

"Absolutely. Your daughter is a very compelling woman." He said in a low voice.

Dana Cuddy nodded silently but eloquently, and she raised her mug towards him as well.

"You sure you don't want to taste that Bourbon?" Mr. Cuddy asked, for the umpteenth time, holding up his bottle for him.

"Yes I'm sure. I don't think Bourbon likes me very much these days."

"Oh but it's because you didn't taste this one!"

"Really, trust me," House said with a meaningful face, "it has nothing to do with quality."

Lisa's father made a disappointed pout and put his bottle back down on the table. House rubbed his thigh, thoughtlessly, and Mrs. Cuddy looked at him with concern.

"Does your leg hurt?" She asked, with a caring voice.

House moved his hand away, uneasy and clenched his jaws.

"No that's ok." He lied, "Planes! You know how it is! They only design seats for people barely higher than 5 feet tall!"

Dana Cuddy smiled and she stood up. House read her move as a polite invitation to leave and he felt a pang of angst clutching his chest.

"Maybe you should rest." She said.

He sighed, trying to hide his disappointment and stood up as well.

"You could wait for Lisa in her room." She then added, totally out of the blue "You'll be more in peace there. Benjamin and I have bored you to tears with our questions. You need a quiet place."

House's mouth dropped open in bewilderment. That was most certainly unexpected. Unexpected but definitely a blessing. Full access to Lisa's Cuddy room, to wait for her alone and try to gather his thoughts. He couldn't believe it was for real. He so couldn't believe it, he had to decline.

"It's late, I should probably go." He heard himself say, and mentally cursed himself for it. "I don't want to bother you"

But Dana Cuddy gently put her hand on his shoulder and stared at him. She had her eyes. Steel-blue just like hers. Piercing and compelling just like hers.

"You're right it's late. Which means Lisa shouldn't be long now. Don't tell me you would want to go just when she's about to come back, Dr. House?" She said, with her eyebrows raised in faked disbelief.

He took a deep breath and glanced at Lisa's father. He looked quite puzzled but surely not in a position to contradict his wife. House could even almost swear he had seen him shrug his helplessness. He inwardly grinned and stared back at Lisa's mother.

"I guess you're right. That would be stupid of me indeed!" He answered in a resolute tone that made her widened her smile.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Cuddy's room was on the third floor. Under the roof. Dana Cuddy showed him the way and when they arrived in front of the door, she opened and let him in, standing at the threshold while he entered inside the vast room. She then closed the door behind her and left. As soon as House was alone, he felt his heartbeats accelerating, as if he was only realizing where he was in that instant. He looked around him and everything in the room reminded him of her. He felt overwhelmed by her presence and it almost made him have a dizzy spell. He gripped his cane's handle tighter and walked towards the bed. Standing at the edge of it he reached out his hand and lightly touched the pillow. Then he grabbed hold of her nightdress and buried his face in it. He breathed deeply to fill him with her scent and closed his eyes when it penetrated his nostrils.

One week. Seven days. Six nights. It was not going to be easy. What was he going to do? What was he going say? Seven days. Six nights. and now, he wanted to hold her so much. But she wouldn't let him. Of course. She would be hurt. And angry. He put the nightdress back on the bed and walked around the room, studying her world. There was a desk under the window. And books on the desk. Medical books, reviews, magazines, novels. On the wall there were pictures. Pictures of her, and her family. She was smiling on the pictures. She looked happy. She was beautiful. Seven days. Six nights.

Suddenly, he thought he heard the sound of a car, parking in front of the house. He came closer to the window, his heart pounding inside his chest. He looked outside and he saw the vague silhouette of a man, walking around the car and opening the passenger door.

And then he saw her.

She let the man take her hand in his and help her step out of the car. He became short of breath while he watched her, curling herself up inside her shawl and allowing him to put his hands on her shoulders. He set his lips and stared at the man slowly leaning down to her and her, willingly giving him her lips. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, steeping away from the window.

Seven days. Six nights. No. It sure was not going to be easy.

* * *

**A/N**

_yep, I know, I ended that chapter... just before... and now you want to throw things at me... LOL ... but we're almost there... Cuddy is outside right now, but soon, she'll be walking in her parent's house..._

_so tell me, how bad do you want to know what is going to happen now??? _

_HAH! so I'm not posting until I've reached 500 comments.... LOL, **I'm totally KIDDIN'** of course, because it'd be a stupid and pointless blackmail.... however... I'm really waiting for your comments... cuz' we're approching the chapter which is probably one of my favs..._

_THANK YOU for reading and appreciating this story. you are undeniably part of the reasons why I like this writing journey so much... :-)_

_Be happy, go crazy, do what you like... ~ maya_


	53. Chapter 53

_Hey everyone! today's a good day... it's my mom' s B-day and I drank a lot of champagne... LOL I feel... happy :-)_

_anyway, you were so sweet and kind about the last chapter, I've decided not to make you wait any much longer... so HERE'S NEW CHAPTER!_

_and this one... well... this one... I really care about it..._

_**just one little clarification before you go and find out what happens: every line in BOLD FONT is House's line. (I thought that would ease the reading if I put it that way...)**_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 53 ****

She entered the house, carefully taking care not to make too much noise as she headed towards the stairs to go up to her room. She needed peace and quietness. She needed to be alone. To cry. _Why couldn't she FORGET HIM? How much time would it take for her to finally come out of this destructive turmoil? And God! What was wrong with her? She had almost let Bill kiss her!_ She forcefully wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and her eyes became watery. The house was dark and the lights were off. Her parents were probably already in their room, which was a good thing because she really didn't want to talk to her mother about her disastrous evening and pretend, once more, that everything was fine instead. She climbed the stairs, trying to calm down. As she arrived at her bedroom's door, she thought she would have to face yet another tormenting sleepless night, that she would spend struggling to chase his image away from her mind. She took a deep breath and pushed the door opened.

# # # # # # #

When she appeared in front of him, House gasped loudly and his fingers instantly started to tremble. The shock of finally seeing her took his breath away but he fought hard to hide it behind a detached stance. She was just a few feet away from him, standing at the doorstep, paralyzed, and yet, she looked absolutely dazzling. An irrational and irrepressible need to hold her took hold of his whole body and made him almost lose his balance. He had to grip his cane's handle until it brought pain in his fingers to find the strength to stay still…

# # # # # # #

When she entered her bedroom, Cuddy noticed the light first and then, quite simultaneously, she saw _him_. He was standing there, beside her desk, seemingly unaffected. A violent shot of adrenalin rushed into her veins and made her heart race inside her chest, almost painfully. She gaped and stared at him, paralyzed. But once the first feeling of fear had left her body, she felt anger slowly pervade her…

# # # # # # #

"**Was that picture taken during Med School?"** he asked casually, pointing at a picture frame hung on the wall **"Because I don't remember you wore your hair like that back then…"**

"What are you doing here?" she interrupted him coldly.

He looked down at his feet and then, slowly raised his face up towards her.

"**I'm here to see you."**

"How did you get here?"

"**Your mother let me in."**

"No, I mean how did you know that…"

"**Because you told Wilson!"**

"I only told him…"

"**The name of a doctor… in MGH… Boston, which … coincidentally is also the town where your parents live…" **

She bit her lips and turned her head away.

"**So now, I'm here because you wanted me to find you."**

She shot her head in his direction again and stared at him in shock.

"No, I didn't!... I don't want you here!"

He clenched his jaws and took a deep breath.

"**Fine! But then I want to know **_**why**_**. Why you cancelled your appointment and left."**

"Why I… Wha?..." her eyes widened out in bewilderment, "So that's what it is? You just came here to complete the puzzle! Because you can't stand it when you don't know the answers!" Her voice was becoming louder.

"**You should close the door,"** he said evenly.

She puffed and shook her head, but she took his advice and shut the door, where she kept standing, trying to stay as far away from him as she could.

"**I thought you and I were in some kind of a relationship…"** he said, in a slight provoking tone.

Cuddy set her lips bitterly.

"There's no relationship when there're no feelings involved…"

He narrowed his eyes and looked a little bit confused, but he kept scrutinizing her in silence, forcing her to go on.

"You keep saying my body drives you crazy and that was … fine … for a while…"

So that's what it was, he thought: _she thinks I'm only with her for her good looks?_ What a giant misunderstanding… His head was tilted to the side and he imperceptibly sighed, somewhat relieved at the feeling that, maybe, things weren't as helpless and definite as he'd thought they'd be. He put both his hands on his cane handle and straightened up proudly.

"**So what? You turn me on. Why would I deny it?" **

A mischievous smile flickered on his lips.

"You, son of a bitch! I don't wanna hear you."

"**Maybe. But you don't have a choice," **he said matter-of-factly.

He took a small step towards her.

"**You're hot and that's a fact. I won't lie and pretend that's not true."**

She stared at him with a sickened look on her face.

"**Because I love your boobs."**

"You're an ass!"

"**Sure! I also love that part!"**

"Fuck you!"

"**Mmm yes! And I love doing that too!"**

He took another step, bigger this time.

"Don't come near me," she warned.

"**I love your body. You have a zesty bod'. What's wrong with that?"**

The distance between them was slowly closing and they were now standing less than three feet away from each other.

"**And you know what I also love?"**

She waved her hand in front of her chest just as if she wanted to brush his words aside.

"**I love the sound of your voice…"**

"No."

"**Low. Sensual. I love the words you're whispering in my ears when we have sex."**

"Don't go there, House."

"**And your scent. I love your scent," **he reached out his hand and pointed his finger towards her neck, **"there." **

"Stop."

"**It's pheromone, you know. It triggers something in me..."**

He was still approaching and he flashed a roguish smile at her. She took a step back and her back hit the door.

"**And your skin… it's like silk…"**

"Don't do that."

"**And your lips…"**

She clenched her jaws and he could see her body stiffening against the door.

"**I love the way they taste."**

"ENOUGH!"

"**You're right. I could go on like that for hours, but then… it would be pointless. Thing is, as sexy as it is, you're not just a body." **

He came closer again and she shot him a furious glare.

"**Because you're so much more."**

"GO TO HELL!"

He halted suddenly and his face darkened. He stared at her with gravity. The game was over. It was time to stop pretending.

"**I've already been there, Cuddy."**

She looked up at him and gasped when she perceived the change of tone in his voice.

"**Since you've left… that's where I am."**

She closed her eyes and shook her head in denial.

"**LOOK AT ME! …" **

He waited until she had her gaze on him again.

"**You're the only woman who ever did **_**that**_** to me."**

He slightly moved to his left and put his cane against the wall. And then, in a swift jump, he ended up standing in front of her, barely inches away, and he showed her his bare palms to her.

"**See? You keep me steady."**

She lowered her face to avoid his gaze, struggling hard against the gush of confusing emotions that were flooding inside of her. It felt as if every absolute certainty that she had relied on until then to justify her running away from him was suddenly vanishing into thin air.

"**I'm the worst asshole-"**

She jerked her head up and shot him a hurt glare, telling him how much she agreed with him on _that_ part.

"-**but you're tender with me."**

"It's over now."

"**You take care of me."**

"I'm done."

"**You're tolerant." **

"No."

He paused and breathed slowly. Then he briefly closed his eyes and when he reopened them, he dove into her steel-blue eyes and looked at her with a fond smile.

"**And yet, you're so not perfect!" **he said with a quiet laugh.

Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him, stunned.

"**Cause you're a real pain in the ass."**

"See?" she exclaimed resentfully "That's exactly why I don't want you here…"

"**You want everything to be just as you chose!"**

"No, I don't!"

"**But, in the end, you don't know what you want."**

She averted her gaze and bit her lips.

"**You hesitate."**

She puffed and widened her eyes in astonishment.

"**And you make the wrong decisions…"**

"At least I'm making ones!" she defended herself, "Because someone has to, otherwise it's just-"

"**You're annoying,"** he interrupted her, smiling, **"You shout and you demand..."**

"Yes! Cause that's the only way there is to convince you and your stubborn mind to be reasonable…"

"**But I don't want to be reasonable."**

"Don't play that game with me, House."

"**This is not a game."**

"I can't do that anymore, I-."

"**SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!"**

She gaped, taken aback by his compelling tone and she froze up, her lips slightly trembling.

"**I don't care."**

She felt silent and looked up at him, feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

"**You can be fucking wrong or annoying. I don't care."**

(…)

"**I don't want anyone else." **

(…)

"**I want you." **

He reached out his hand and slowly grabbed the hem of her shawl and pulled on it until it slid away from her neck. She put her hands flat against the door behind her and kept on staring at him, paralyzed.

"**I don't care if they cut your breast, 'cause I don't want your breast." **

(…)

"**I only want **_**you**_**."**

"Why do you do that?"

"**Because… Because I love you."**

He clenched his jaws and closed his eyes. When he re-opened them, he stared at her, almost angrily.

"**Do you hear what I'm saying?"**

She held her breath, unable to say anything, and she felt as if her legs were about to give way under her.

"**I LOVE YOU." **

(…)

"**Not just your boobs, or your ass, or your curves…"**

He cautiously took the last step that still separated them and he stood in front of her, almost touching her.

"**I love the **_**whole you**_**. I love YOU!"**

She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head down. He could hear the sound of her agitated breath. He could feel her body shivering. He raised his hand to her face and lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb, but she turned her head away to avoid his touch. He removed his hand and clenched his fist.

"**Dammit Cuddy!" **

(…)

**(…)**

(…)

The heavy distressing silence that had filled the room made her lift her head. Her eyes met his eyes. His gaze was beseeching, angry, and hurt but hoping…

"**Don't leave me,"** he begged, his voice nearly above a whisper.

She sighed and she looked away. Just a second. She looked away; to collect herself, and try to forget; to forgive. And then, she jerked her head to the side to face him again and she planted her accusing eyes in his.

"You hurt me. And you will hurt me again."

"**Yes, I will."**

She widened her eyes, dazed.

"**But I will **_**never**_** intend to. It's just how it is. We can't avoid hurting people. We only try not to."**

He leaned down, very slowly, and rested his forehead on hers. She closed her eyes and took a deep, quivering breath.

"**You will hurt me, too. Like you did when you left." **

He lifted his hands and gently enveloped her nape with his long fingers.

"**I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand it when you were away-"**

(…)

"**Not knowing where you were-"**

(…)

"**Not knowing how you were doing-"**

(…)

"**It was like living in Hell…"**

She grabbed his hands and slid them away from her neck. He straightened up and interrogated her with sorry eyes, already knowing what she was going to say.

"You crossed the lines, House. Not just once… You said…"

"**I know…"** he interrupted her, horrified and disgusted by the memory of what he had told her.

"You said you _wished_ I had cancer." Her lips started to tremble and tears welled up in her eyes.

He lowered his head in shame and he clenched his fists along his thighs, forcefully… _No. He didn't want to lose her. He couldn't let that happen. No_. He suddenly gripped her wrists and squeezed them tight, as strongly as he was desperate. He kept his head down and stared at his hands, holding on to her and his voice choked with emotion when he said:

"**I'd take back every word I said to you, if I could … But I can't … I said those words… And I know that's not an excuse but, I was hurt… You left me and… I went crazy… Cuddy… I need you … I can't change what is already done… But, please… Just let me … Now… Just let me... **_**Please**_**." **

He stopped himself and took a deep breath, his eyes still on his hands, gripping her wrists. And he waited. After a moment of unbearable silence, he let go of her wrists. And he waited once more, still looking down, until he saw her left hand slowly rise up to his face. She cupped his cheek inside her palm. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief. He covered her hand with his and seized her other hand to pull her gently to him. And then he cupped her face, and brought it up gently to make her look at him. He planted his eyes inside hers and they stared at each other for a long, still moment. She still looked hurt and confused and lost but he saw it was there: The little burning flame, behind her emerald eyes. Intoxicating, compelling, imploring, enthralling… Afraid he might break the spell, he carefully leaned down to kiss her, and she rose on her tiptoes to meet his mouth. She took his lips first and he shrank as it sent a violent shudder down his spine. He slid his hands from her face to her shoulders and then to her back. And he wrapped her in his arms while they kissed. He wrapped her, delicately at first, and as their kiss became deeper and more demanding, he tightened his embrace, almost squashing her against him, overwhelmed by the intense desire that was coursing through his veins.

Seven days. Six nights. And finally, he was holding his woman in his arms again.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_so this is it! as I've said before, this was one of my favorite chapters... I really hope you've enjoyed it. 400 pages of rollercoaster somehow meant to end there... because we all know that House and Cuddy belong together, don't they? :-)_

_so now, I hope to hear from a lot of you... and when I say a lot, I really mean A LOT... even from you... yes YOU, who read but keep silent..._

_I don't want to force anyone, and I truly love every one of my readers, even the ones I don't know... but **for this one, please**, **don't hide**! just EXPRESS YOUR THOUGHTS..._

_thank you!_

_enjoy the rest of your week end ~ maya_

_PS (to cosette16): I'm so proud of you! ;-) I hope now you don't regret that you've waited... _


	54. Chapter 54

_**NEW CHAPTER! remember last time? House and Cuddy made up! House confessed his love, and now of course... what do you think is next... :)**_

_I hope you'll enjoy it and sorry for the long wait since the previous chapter..._

* * *

**** CHAPTER 54 ****

As intense as it was, House gently broke away from their kiss and brought her face against his torso. She let him guide her and rested her cheek on his chest while he cupped the back of her skull with his hands, softly caressing her hair. He leaned down and put his chin atop her head and he inhaled her deeply. The first breath he took gave him a violent shot of pleasure and he squeezed her tighter. He kept her there, enveloping her frail body along his, finally soothed and peaceful. That was all he needed just then: to feel her warmth as he was holding her tight against him.

They remained perfectly still, wrapped in each other's arms, until his desire inexorably came back. He delicately pulled her away and his yearning eyes spoke for him. He seized her coat and slowly took it off. It slid down along her arms and fell on the floor. She kept her gaze locked in his spell-binding ocean blue eyes and let him remove her cardigan next. He tossed it on the floor and started unbuttoning her shirt, one button after the other. She was hypnotized by his methodical movements and stood in front of him, immobile and breathless but, when he began to pull back her shirt-tails, she grabbed his hands and stopped him.

"House, I don't think this is the right place to…"

"You're right. As much as I'd love to do that, I don't think this whole "banging you against the door" thing would fit my bum leg," he grinned and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "but I see a queen-size bed over there, that's big enough for two-"

"No, I mean…" she stopped and sighed.

"I know what you mean," he said, cupping her face in his hands, "but I don't care. I want this too much…" He traced the line of her cheekbone with soft kisses, "and there is no way you can stop me."

"But … my parents…"

"I don't care about your parents," he moved apart and looked at her with a mischievous sparkle behind the eyes, "If you scream and you wake them up, then at least they'll know they had a good reason to let me in!"

She exhaled a quiet laugh and slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

"You, show-off!" she giggled, but she still looked a little bit uneasy.

"What? Are you afraid we could wake them up… _for real_?" he asked her, amused by her embarrassment.

"No… but… I mean…"

"Then SHH!… Just relax. Stop talking… Stop resisting…" He tugged her to him and bent over to kiss her. His lips trailed up her neck and slowly began kissing her behind her ear. "I want to make love to you," he whispered with a raspy voice.

She shuddered and he enfolded her closer against him. He grabbed her shirt by the collar and made it slide off of her. Then he kissed her on the hollow of her collarbone while she took his jacket off. When his arms were free again, he enfolded her in his embrace and pressed on the small of her back, pulling her into him. He leaned down to her face and teasingly bit the pulp of her lips to demand entrance and she opened her mouth for him, and let him greedily taste her with his tongue. As they were sensually kissing, she moved her hands up to his torso and slowly took care of his shirt's buttons. When she'd removed it and he stood bare-chested, she saw the bandage around his wrist. She froze and her face took on a worried look.

"House! What happened to your hand?" she asked, and she put out her hand to check his wrist.

He held her gesture back and stared compellingly into her eyes.

"That's nothing," he strongly asserted,

"But-" she tried to protest, but he didn't let her, swiftly moving his wrist away from her reach.

"Can we pleaaaase forget about my hand?" he grunted, short of breath.

She pouted at first, and after a few seconds smiled fondly at him and grabbed him by the waist, yanking him towards the bed with her.

"Yeah, you're right," she said her voice hoarse, "to hell with your hand!" and she collapsed backwards onto the mattress.

She got rid of her shoes, hastily, toeing them off, and she wriggled on her back to take off her pants. He stood in front of her, amazed by her sudden impatience. With his eyes still on her, he took off his shoes and socks as well, and got rid of his pants while she removed her panties and tossed them on the floor beside him.

"Come on, hurry!" she demanded, breathlessly.

With a beam on his face, he took his boxers off and bent down, towering her.

"Wait!" she stopped him, before he had time to lie down completely. He frowned incredulously and straightened up, amused, but when he saw her prop herself up on her elbow to seize her bra's hook, he bit his lips and an impromptu wave of emotions flooded in his veins.

"No," he said softly, "Let me take care of this." She stared intensely at him and sat up on the bed. He sat behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Are you sure?" he asked, with a slight trembling voice.

"Yes," she answered, and he unhooked her bra. She docilely let him slide the straps along her arms and when her breasts were freed from the bra-cups, she turned around to face him. "Now, make love to me…" she sighed and slowly lied back down on the bed.

He sucked in a deep, voluptuous breath and leisurely lied down on her. He steadied himself on his left arm and with his right hand he fondled her thigh up to her hips. She arched her back and spread her legs open. With one of her hands, she searched for his sex and when she felt it under her fingers, warm and hard, she let out a lustful sigh. She stroked it inside her palm and he nosedived into her neck, groaning along her skin. But as he felt his yearning intensified, he gently drew her hands apart from his length and opened her with his fingers and teased her clit with his thumb. She was warm and so wet, and his desire to be inside her felt like sweet torture. She stretched her arms above her head and arched her back.

"Now!" she said with an imploring sigh

He leaned down lower and he penetrated her, filling her with all his length. She gasped loudly and he covered her mouth with his lips to stifle her moan. And he began to rock his hips back and forth, slowly, while his hands trailed along her waist and stroked her midriff, almost reverently. His palm went up and explored higher, shyly, but when his fingers met the curvaceous skin of her breast, he felt her breath accelerate and he promptly held his hand back.

"No," she said, "Caress me…"

Complying, he cupped her breast with his hand and he delicately fondled her silky skin. He sensed her nipple erect under his touch and he bent over to her face. He put a soft tender kiss on her lips and another one on her cheek. He slid to the side, in her neck and nibbled her earlobe. His thrusts were languorous, like the cradling movements of a rocking chair and she wrapped her arms around him. Each of his waving shoves inside her sent a shiver down her spine and she started to sigh heavily, and then her sighs inexorably became deeper and turned into loud gasps.

He cupped her face inside his palms and planted his eyes into her burning gaze.

"Cuddy…" he whispered.

One thrust. One sigh. And he rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you…"

She squeezed him tighter and tilted her head back but he kept it inside his hands, combing her raven curls with his fingers. He cupped her skull and maintained her face turned up towards him.

"I love you…" he repeated, his voice a delightful complaint.

One thrust. One moan. She let go of her embrace to find a way under his arms and reached for his face with her hands. She touched his cheeks and stroked his stubble.

"I love you…" she answered.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, bliss invading his body. She wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her hips higher to take him inside her better.

"Say it again."

"I love you…"

One sigh. One thrust. He smothered her with kisses, while he moved his right hand down and possessively grabbed her ass cheek to crash into her harder.

"I've missed you… Jesus, Cuddy… I've missed you so much…"

She gasped and exhaled a long, hoarse moan. One soft thrust. One strong shove. And his hand, gripping her ass firmly, pushing her up, pinning her down… And his hard shaft, warm, delightfully going in and out, sending incredible tingling sensations all over her body…

"Don't go away ever again… don't go away from me…" he pleaded, staring intensely into her eyes.

She crossed her legs tighter and trapped him inside her. She ran her fingers in his hair and pulled his face down to hers.

"I'm here…," she murmured reassuringly.

He bit in the pulp of her lips and kissed her, thirstily, almost fiercely, sucking her tongue into his mouth and pushing his between her teeth. One strong shove. One loud moan. He began to stab harder and faster, taking her breath away, causing her body to shudder under him. He broke away from the kiss and lifted himself up on his arms to look at her. She moved her hands down and grasped his ass cheeks and scratched him with her nails.

"Yes… Oh Gawd… Yes… don't stop, don't stop…"

The growing feeling of pleasure pervaded her and she closed her eyes, throwing her head to the side. She set her lips strongly and clenched her jaws and he felt her nails digging into his flesh deeper, as he heard the muffled sound of her moans.

"No… Don't hold it… I want to hear you come…"

She turned her head to face him again and she let go, panting, louder and louder. He bent over and promptly seized her visage inside his hands, cradling her cheeks. One hard thrust. One strong shove. Powerful, possessive, confident. Again and again. And her moans became loud cries, begging for release.

"Yes! Come now… Like that…"

A lustful cry came out of the depth of her throat and he covered her lips with his to capture the sound inside his mouth and let it die inside his throat. And then the growing wave of orgasm invaded his body, and his heart started to pound faster and the blood rushed in his veins, and he felt the throbbing sensation of his cock filling her with his semen.

"Oh fucking Gawd! That's good!" he growled, without restraint, from the top of his lungs.

She immediately smacked him on the side of his arm, disapprovingly.

"House! Shhhhhhh…"

He looked down and beamed at her.

"Don't shush me!" he chuckled, "I don't care if I wake up the whole neighborhood! That feels too fucking good!..."

He laughed and kissed her at the same time, rolling on his side and pulling her to him.

* * *

They had slithered under the warm smoothness of the quilt. House was lying on his back and he reached out his arms to seize her and bring her next to him.

"Come here," he commanded.

She snuggled up against him and he wrapped his arms around her, maintaining her close to his chest. He needed to experience that blissful pleasure again. His whole body was aching at that very urge: touch her, smell her, see her, taste her and listen to her breathe. He wanted to feel her through all his senses. He took several deep breathes, inhaling her scent and he strongly closed his eyes, as if he was struggling against his own overwhelming emotions. He sighed voluptuously, as his hands nonchalantly wandered round her body, gently rubbing her curves, giving in to the perfect stillness of this time-suspended moment.

"You've lost some weight," he stated, his fingertips slowly tracing the outline of her waist.

She hunched her shoulders and wiggled a little.

"No, I…" she started, a little bit surprised.

"Yes, you have," he said composedly, still caressing her, "Not much, but you have. There. And there." His palm stopped on the top of her thigh then on her hip. He suddenly gasped and rolled to his side to face her. He put his forefinger under her chin and made her lift her face to his. "Cuddy…" he gulped and stared into her eyes, bracing himself to face whatever answer she would give him bravely, "you told Wilson you were seeing a doctor…"

She put out her hand and cradled his jaw inside her palm.

"I don't have cancer," she stated calmly, with a reassuring voice.

He stared deeper into her gaze, almost breathless.

"What kinda tests did you…"

She smiled and put her finger on his lips to silence him.

"House, don't. I did all the tests. Listen to me… This is _not_ cancer."

He deeply sighed, relieved and finally lightened from all that awful weight of worry that had burdened his chest all those days.

"What is it then?" he asked.

"We don't know yet. Probably just a cyst. We're waiting for the results…"

He raised an eyebrow, his curiosity focusing on the one word that had caught his attention.

"_We_?"

"I mean Bill-"

"_Bill_?" his expression became really intrigued.

She wriggled uncomfortably and glided backwards. He squinted at her.

"Bill, like in "the-guy-I-had-dinner-with-and-who-I-ended-up-kissing-in-front-of-my-parents'-house Bill?... Because I bet this is the guy we're talking about here, right?"

"What?" Cuddy gaped, completely taken aback by his unexpected question.

House heaved a deep sigh and lowered his gaze, visibly struggling against a huge feeling of contained frustration.

"I guess I've probably deserved that," he started with a voice that wanted to sound unmoved, but was yet a little shaky and unsure, "But I'm warning you," he added, in a touching effort at being casual, "if that was about provoking a fist fight to see who'd win you over, you'll be disappointed because I'm not gonna challenge the guy to a duel. We both know this wouldn't be fair since I'm the one with the big, hard cane anyway." He leaned down a little and studied her reaction with an exaggerated theatrical look.

She stared back at him, awestruck, and rendered speechless by his little act. The truth was, she'd never seen him deflected that much desperately. She felt like an ice cube melting under the sun, and an irrepressible fond smile spread on her face. She curled herself up even closer against him and rubbed her nose in the hollow of his armpit.

"Are you jealous?" she asked, helplessly thrilled by the very idea of it.

"Nooooo," he denied, his lips shaping the vowel into a conspicuous pout that touchingly accentuated his lie, "Quite the opposite… actually I really don't care…"

"Oh, you don't?" she said with a teasing voice, "Wow, you're so reasonable and mature, I don't even know if it's necessary that I throw this little detail into the debate then…"

"What little detail?" he immediately asked, almost imperceptibly stiffening.

"I never kissed Bill," she stated evenly.

This time, he straightened up for good and planted his eyes inside hers.

"I saw you!" he asserted with a sturdy voice, "he was groping you and…"

She squinted at him intrigued, wondering what he'd really seen and how the hell it could end up being phrased like that. She steadied herself up on her elbow and assertively stared at him.

"First," she said, rolling her eyes, "Bill didn't _grope_ me…"

"Nitpicking!" he exclaimed, "he had his hands all over your shoul-"

"And secondly," she quickly added, "he just _tried_ to kiss me… I pushed him away, and he didn't insist."

He narrowed his eyes and pouted, as if he was weighing up his options.

"Didn't insist, eh? Maybe, I should beat him up all the same after all for being such a blind jerk," he said, furrowing his brow.

"In case you didn't notice, I'm a big girl and I dealt with that already."

"Yeah, you mean you were lucky," he said half-joking, half-serious, "he could have forced you…"

"_Force_ _me_? Under a streetlamp in front of my parents' house?" she exclaimed incredulous, repressing laughter.

"Absolutely!" he answered, with an exaggerated, dramatic tone, "and then what would you have done, smartass?"

She fluttered ingenuously at him.

"I guess, I'd only have had one option left: hope for you to come save me with your big hard cane!" she purred, slithering back into his arms.

He welcomed her in his embrace and squeezed her tight. He took a long deep breath and nose-dived in her hair. _Damn! He had missed her so much! h_e thought as relief, bliss, quietness and all kinds of peaceful feelings hit him almost painfully in the chest all at once. But he was more than ready to accept the sensation because, suddenly, it felt as if everything was back in place, as if the storm was finally over and the sea like a mill pond again. Yes, it felt as if the boat had stopped tossing around, and he was no longer threatened to be thrown overboard. The journey wasn't over…

* * *

**A/N**

_EXACTLY! the journey is NOT over... and you can be sure I hadn't forgotten you but I just had a crazy and rather busy week... writing my Huddy review for ep. 6.07 Known Unknowns among others things(and God knows there were LOTS of things to say...)_

_I hope you are still enjoying the journey._

_I really, REALLY want to thank you for your reactions after last chapter: it was AMAZING! it was like a wave of kindness and joy and it felt so good! I'm really happy that you've liked the way I had House confessed his feelings..._

_I promise I'll post next chapter SOONER._

_enjoy your day! ~ maya_

_PS (To HouseBroken): you stunned me... you are surely among the first faithful readers that I had, never missing one comment on any of the chapter... but yet you've always remained so discreet... and last time... I felt I'd pushed you for a tiny bit of more and it made me incredibly happy! :)_


	55. Chapter 55

_**HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER! more pillow talk... can't do any harm at that point, can it? :-)**_

_**I hope you're all doing great!**_

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**** CHAPTER 55 ****

They remained silent and immobile in each other's arms for a moment and then she felt him wriggling against her. She lifted her face up to him and questioned him with a tender look. But he was staring at the ceiling, uncomfortably avoiding her gaze.

"So…" he started. "I guess that means you didn't run away to Boston to meet up with Bill?..."

She knew he had a lot weighing on his mind and that he had to say it one way or another so she remained silent, allowing him to let go of all his demons, helping her get rid of hers as well…

"You left me," he stated in a detached neutral tone, his voice echoing flatly in the room. "You gave me no warning, no reason, nothing…"

His eyes were still staring straight above him but she however saw his pupils glistening in the semi darkness.

"I thought, I'd tried hard enough… that you were… I mean, that we…"

He was struggling to find his words and she felt her throat tighten, as sadness and guilt started pervading her. It was too much of an unbearable torture. She couldn't let him blame himself for what had happened. She put out her hand to his face and forced him to turn his head down to look at her.

"House," she spoke gently. "This is not your fault… It's me… I… I got scared and…"

"Scared?... Why? Because of the lump? Because you were afraid to have cancer?" he asked her, unconvinced himself by his own theory.

"No… I was scared because of me… _us_…"

He rolled on his side and lay facing her, his face almost touching hers. Even in the darkness, she could see his deep blue eyes piercing through her and reaching her soul.

"Why?" he asked again, baffled.

She inhaled a sharp intake of breath and stretched out her arms to touch him. She fondled the round shape of his shoulder and focused her gaze on his torso, not daring to face his scrutinizing, insistent stare.

"Because… I was scared to be hurt."

"Cuddy… I know I said…"

She quickly covered his lips with her index finger to shush him.

"No… please House, let me expain… I was afraid to be hurt but, you did nothing wrong… I was just afraid that I might lose what we had… lose _you_… and I didn't want to lose you…"

"You were afraid you might die?"

She sighed and she came closer to him to slip into his arms.

"No… I was scared you'd have stopped wanting me… and that I'd have lost you," she confessed with uncensored honesty.

"So… in order to _not_ lose me… you ran _away_ from me?" He frowned, intrigued by her reason. He took her face in his hands and made her look up. He shook his head, disapprovingly, but with a fond smile drawn on his lips.

"I know it sounds…"

"Crazy?... Stupid?... Irrational?" he proposed, still smiling.

"Unreasonable," she corrected, "but… I had doubts… and…"

He puffed. After all, she was now in his arms and he didn't have the energy to dissect that undecipherable woman's logic so he leaned down and silenced her with a kiss instead, covering her lips with his and ravenously tasting her mouth. It caught her by surprise and she gasped for air as soon as he broke away from her.

"What was that?" she asked with her eyes widened in surprise.

"That… was to prove you how wrong you are…" he said with a large grin. "Geez, I'm so happy I don't have all this feminine hormones screwing with my brain! At least that means there's still one of us who can think straight!"

She smacked him on the arm and started fidgeting to protest but he immobilized her in his arms to keep her still. His masculine scent invaded her nostrils and she took a deep breath, feeling fulfilled. _He was right_, she thought. _She'd been so irrational and stupid. How could she have run away from him when it felt so right to be with him?_ She sighed deeply and closed her eyes, brushing all her doubts away from her mind.

"What time is it?" she suddenly inquired.

"I don't know. Late. Why?"

"Nothing… It's just that… I was thinking you've booked a hotel room for nothing."

A brief silent followed her statement, soon covered by his chuckle.

"Oh no! I don't do things for _nothing_!"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I took the plane. I took a cab. And I came here. To wait for you… That's all. There's no booking a hotel room involved in the process…"

She propped herself up, pushing on his chest with her palms and stared at him, her eyes widening in astonishment.

"You came here… straight from the airport?"

"Yep! I thought the shopping could wait until tomorrow…"

"No, no, no!... Don't deflect! You know what I mean… I mean you came here without _any_ doubts?!"

"Ha! Yeah," he exclaimed, closing his arms closing around her. "I can see why you're so stunned by that idea," he tantalized her.

"But what if I had turned you down?" she provoked him with a smug face.

He let out a quiet laugh and pulled her harder into him.

"Nope! Because I knew you wouldn't!" he said, his perfectly well-mastered bold smile back on his face.

"You knew I… You kn… How could you know that?" she faltered out, taken aback by his nerve.

"Because you're crazy about me. That's why! Admit it! You ran away but you were miserable all this time without me. Because you can't live without me!"

He smiled self-confidently at her but in his eyes there still was that slight trace of uncertainty, hidden behind a puppy look, begging her to say something that would confirm it was true. She narrowed her eyes, and set her lips, provokingly staring at him in silence. He sustained her challenging gaze, waiting for her to cave first.

"Yes," she finally said with a low voice.

"Yes what?"

She hopped on top on him and pinched his jaws, moving her face just an inch away from his.

"Yes… all the things you've said," she teased, with a grin of amusement forming on her lips.

He seized both her hands and crossed them behind her back, imprisoning her in his grab. Then, he rolled her under him and leaned down to her face.

"Say it," he ordered in a whisper. "Say you're crazy about me."

She peered into his intense compelling blue gaze, breathless, and she flashed him a coy smile.

"I'm crazy about you, Gregory House."

He stick out his chest proudly and released her free from his grab, rolling on his back and beaming at the ceiling. She mischievously slid inside his arms again.

"What about you?" she coaxed, tickling the light patch of hair on his torso with her fingertips

"What about me?" he repeated, pretending not to understand.

"Say it to me again."

"What?" His smile broadened as he conspicuously ignored her, keeping his eyes towards the ceiling,

"The thing you've said to me before" she simpered, rubbing her body against his rousingly.

"That you're a pain in the ass?" He kidded her, repressing a chuckle.

"No, after that," she blew hoarsely, coming even closer, her hand travelling down from his chest to his abdomen.

"That I have a big cane?" he proposed, chuckling again, even louder.

"Noooo" she said in a trailing voice. "_Before_ that…" and she nibbled his erected nipple.

He turned to face her, gently pushing her aside.

"Ohh, you mean when I said I loved you?" he finally conceded, with a roguish look on his face.

She nodded like a little girl and fluttered her eyes at him.

"But I lied," he teased.

"Of course," she pretended to approve.

"I only said that to coax you into having sex, you know…"

"Well, all the more reason then… to say it again," she said with a wicked smile. "Because if it worked the first time, then why not try to do it a second time, see if it works again?"

He squinted at her for a short while, contemplating her offer and then he shook his head 'no'.

"Nah... I'm too tired. I'm sorry," he answered, repressing a yawn.

"Are you serious?" she asked with a genuinely disappointed pout.

He took pleasure in making her wait a little longer but he couldn't hold back the impish beam that formed on his lips any longer and he tugged her ravenously to him.

"I don't know… Guess!"

* * *

_**A/N**_

_so you saw how it works: more talk, hence more love, hence more fun to come... :-)_

_**AND THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR AMAZINGLY KIND WORDS. I don't know if I should be proud, but you surely make me feel like I could be! :-)**_

_HAVE A GREAT TIME! ~ maya_

_PS (to Sara): since you've asked, I've updated my profile and added directs links to my Huddy reviews so you can easily access them if you want._

_(to beti86): I hope you're feeling well! and this was so very kind of you to read the previous chapter no matter what! that made me happy! :) _

_(to Huddles777): hey I totally forgot to ask, since you're a scorpio, when should I wish you a happy birthday? ;) (I hope it's not too late...)_


	56. Chapter 56

_**HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER... where you'll find out that once is good... but twice... is better right?! :)... pillow talking time is over now...**_

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**** CHAPTER 56 ****

He compellingly seized her hand and pulled it down onto his manhood.

"Oh-ho," she guffawed "What do we have here?... Dr. House!… This "big cane" doesn't look tired to me, _at all_…"

He smiled and gave her a knowing wink. She took his cock inside her palm and stroked it up and down its length, tickling the head with her thumb. As her left hand kneaded his engorged member, she slipped her other hand under the quilt and grabbed his balls, rubbing them under her fingertips. He stifled a moan and tilted his head back onto the pillow.

"Oh Gawd, gently!" he exclaimed. "You're gonna make me come before it's even started!"

She instantly removed her hands from his shaft and stared at him, with a warning frown.

"Oh no, no, no stud! You better control yourself! I'm too horny now… You're not allowed to ball this up!"

He looked at her and burst into laughter.

"What?" she said, frowning somewhat menacingly at him.

"Nothing! I just love when you say 'ball-up' and mean it so passionately" he said, chuckling. He cupped her face and pulled her to him to kiss her. "Don't worry about Little Greg here! He's not going to let you _down_… because you're such a turn-on ... you, sexpot!"

"Hmm… don't try to wheedle me with your smooth talk… and just keep it up!" she answered, trying hard not to burst into laughter herself.

Seeing her in such a teasing mood made him beam from ear to ear and he peered at her ravenously. He seized her hands and moved them away from his groin. She looked at him puzzled as he grabbed her by the shoulders to make her lie down on her back. Sitting up on his knees next to her, he seized the edges of the sheet in his hands and sent it flying above him in a wave, wrapping it around his shoulders like a cape.

"Why don't we focus on you for a minute?" he said playfully.

She furrowed her brow intrigued, but a roguish smile formed on her lips when he dived under the sheet, with a greedy groan. He took all his time to slide along her horny body, trailing his tongue on her skin, nibbling the erogenous spots that he knew would undoubtedly arouse her the most, causing her to arch her curves up in erratic, disjointed jolts. He finally reached the apex of her sex and she let out a long yearning moan, indisputably expressing how much her body was aching for him to taste her. With a compelling movement of the hand, he spread her legs open and kneeled down between her thighs.

He noticed how she suddenly breathed faster above him, almost already panting in anticipation.

"Now it's your turn to show me how much you want me," he teased her, putting his right hand flat on her pelvic bone.

At the contact of his hand on her, she instantly arched her back and strongly clutched the pillow's edges in her hands. With his middle finger he parted her folds and leisurely tickled her throbbing clit with the tip of his thumb. She let out a loud gasp and she bit her bottom lip to muffle the lustful sounds that commanded to burst out of the depth of her throat. While his thumb continued to draw pleasuring circles on her nub, he slowly pushed his middle finger inside her core, finding it perfectly juicy and warm.

"Oh my! I think we got enough proof here!" he exclaimed, his eyes widening in amazement.

He removed his finger and leaned down, teasingly stopping half way to study her reaction. He met her gripping gaze, glittering with desire, and the message written behind those eyes sent a shot of adrenalin through his veins that made him feel more alive than he ever had in weeks. He put both his hands on her kneecaps but before he even began to press on them, she opened her legs wider and gave him access to her core. He crashed into her and she gasped another moan of delight at the sensation of his tongue moving around her nub. He suck it gently first, then nibbled harder at the sensitive flesh as he felt the power of his caresses on her, eliciting quivers down her spine.

Above him, the sound of her breaths started to accelerate, inexorably turning into lascivious sighs, coming out of her mouth almost like whines begging for mercy. Incapable of holding back the wave of pleasure that was growing inside her she swiftly seized the pillow next to her head and covered her face just in time to let her orgasmic cries die into the fluffy cushion, as an epileptic shudder jolted her whole body. House straightened up and he couldn't contain the laughter when he caught sight of this unexpected, beautiful image. Cuddy slid the pillow away from her face and she jumped, taken aback by the vision she came face to face with: he, leaned just above her, with a huge grin drawn on his lips.

"Wow! I'm good!" he exclaimed, proudly contemplating the beautiful glowing mess he had turned her into. "I hope your parents are heavy sleepers, otherwise I'm pretty sure you woke them up now, as well as half of the east coast probably," he added, repressing a chuckle.

She pouted disapprovingly and threw the pillow in his direction, but he promptly bent down to avoid it. The cushion flew over his head and fell on the floor behind him. He mechanically followed his trajectory with his gaze, looking over his shoulder and when he turned around again to face her, Cuddy was seated on her knees, just in front of him. He flashed a mischievous smile at her, ready to carry on the playful game but the look on her face suddenly changed and she stared at him with gravity. There was no banter anymore. Just absolute and unquestioned serenity. Cuddy took a deep breath and wound her arms around his neck.

"I love you," she said with a soft voice before laying a tender kiss on his lips.

House shivered, caught off guard by her confession and he enfolded her in his arms. She came closer against his chest and, with her lips still on his, she heaved a deep sigh of fullness.

"I love you. I love you. _I love you_…" She whispered against his mouth, and she tightened her embrace, hanging on to his neck as if it were a safe anchor.

He closed his eyes and squeezed her tighter too, letting the blissful feeling pervade him. She relaxed her arms around his neck and slowly but determinedly slipped her hand back down to his groin.

"Are you still there?" she asked candidly, but confidently taking the proof of his undeniable arousal in her hand.

"Are you kidding me?" he exclaimed boyishly, "Little Greg only rests when I'm asleep, and even then he sometimes does things on his own…" He sent her a knowing wink. "I'll show you in the morning…"

"Show me now!" She sighed, the urgency of her desire starting to tingle again inside her.

There was no doubt that the lust in her voice demanded the man to satisfy her needs and that's exactly what he felt like when he dived his gaze in her enthralling steel blue eyes, conveying to her the intensity of his own yearning through his stare. He seized her by the arms and gently made her turn around to kneel astride his lap so that she offered him her back. He wound one arm around her waist to keep her close to him and then, slowly, he took her from behind, guiding himself inside her with his free hand. Once he could feel his shaft filling her with all its length, he placed his other arm around her waist and began to thrust at a lascivious pace, pushing her up with his pelvis. She lifted her up on her knees a little and moved up and down with him, taking him inside her, enveloping his hard member tightly with her inner walls.

He cupped her breasts in the palms of his hands, and fondled their perfect, round shape, feeling her nipples harden under his touch, pinching them with his fingertips and kneading her breasts again gently. Cuddy tilted her head back and he raised his hand to her neck, enveloping her windpipe with his long fingers and stroking her skin down to her collarbones. He bent down to nibble her shoulder and let out a groan of approval, when she sped up her tempo, pushing herself into him faster.

"Mmm yes, feels good," he moaned appreciatively, his mouth against the skin of her shoulder.

Pleasure was pervading him and he felt the urge to take the lead in their sensual love dance. He seized her hips and suggestively motioned her to lean down. She docilely complied and bent over as he straightened up on his knees behind her, clasping her waist in his hands. He began to shove deeper inside her, with a sturdy back and forth movement. She grabbed hold of the headboard in front of her to steady her and absorb the mightiness of his confident thrusts. It felt incredible and she moaned hoarsely tilting her head back, as electric shocks of delight started shaking her core each time his shaft plunged deep inside her. House fondled the small of her back and sped up his pace, faster, and faster again. The sound of her unrestrained, breathless pants became his undoing and he felt he was about to lose it as well. He still found the strength to thrust a few more times inside her until it caused her spine to jolt with orgasmic shudders. She arched her back and he felt her muscles throbbing and contracting around his shaft. He couldn't hold it back any longer and he came inside her, the exhilarating wave piercing through his whole body and releasing endorphins in his system, providing him a fix of soothing pleasure none of his chemical drugs could have never given him.

AS he rode the wave of his orgasm, he fell on top of her and wrapped her in his arms, closing his eyes, wishing for this moment to last as long as possible: a moment when he felt no pain. No hurt whatsoever. Nothing, except fulfillment.

Their breaths slowly returned to normal and he gently straightened her up against his chest. She turned around to face him, and they cupped each other's face and leaned towards each other's mouth to kiss. Silently. Without sharing a word, they kissed. And, as their tongues tasted each other's flavor, they slowly lay back down on the bed and slipped under the warmth of the quilt, where they fell asleep, wrapped in each other's arms, exhausted but fulfilled.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_haa... one week apart seems like an eternity when you're in love, don't you think? ;) ... and you don't even know how it would feel after a good night sleep! ..._

_anyway, THANK YOU, I know I lack originality but these are the very true two words that I can never sease to say and ALWAYS mean them! because this is really a thrilling experience!_

_grab happiness anywhere you can! ~ maya_

_PS: Huddles777 I'm sorry I missed your B-day! :( _

_at least I'm here for lurker's one! am I right? so HAPPY BIRTHDAY lurker! :)_


	57. Chapter 57

_Hi eveyrone! __HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER... where... uhmmm well .... a love like that needs to fly free!_

**

* * *

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**** CHAPTER 57 ****

A faint daylight was filling the room, passing through the closed curtains of the bedroom and hitting the exposed naked parts of Gregory House and Lisa Cuddy's entwined bodies that weren't warmly wrapped under the sheets. The incredible sensation of fulfillment and calm that had come from the previous night they had just shared was still enveloping them and accompanying their slumber. After all that had happened in the past days, all the torments and fears they had to live through, their breathings were finally slow, quiet and relaxed again. It felt almost like the sounds of pleasure sighs. Although it gave her the most soothing feeling she had experienced in a long time, Cuddy, who was used to waking up early in the morning, opened her eyes and slowly emerged from her numbness nonetheless. House was lying on his side behind her, and she was spooned along his body. His arms were wound around her, securely holding her against his torso, giving her the most reassuring sensation of protection and safety she had ever felt with a man. His face was nuzzling her nape and each of his deep exhalations was brushing her skin with a moist warm blow that sent tingling waves down her spine. Suddenly eager to fully enjoy his conscious presence, she began to wiggle inside his arms until she turned around to face him. It made him groan a little, and still deeply asleep, or at least with his eyes stubbornly closed, he tightened his embrace to bring her close to him again. Cuddy was not fooled, as she could tell that he was slowly awakening himself. She giggled quietly and gently nibbled the flesh of his chest that was offered within her lips reach. House, barely struggled to set him free, if not for the sake of form, and uttered a moan of pleasure. He slowly lifted his eyelids and the blue ocean of his eyes flowed into her steel grey gaze. He leaned down to her face and rubbed his nose on her nose and then kissed her softly.

"Good morning angel…" He murmured with a throaty whisper, which was still filled with the resonance of sleep.

Cuddy immediately reacted to the stirring and sensual sound of his voice and she slithered closer and buried her face in his neck, kissing his skin suggestively while her hands slid under the sheets and reached out for the lower part of his abdomen, searching for his sex.

"Mm…, good morning." She moaned between her kisses.

Although he couldn't help but stretch his neck to give in to her caressing lips, he however seized her shoulders and gently made her draw away a little.

"What are you doing?" He asked her, his eyebrows raised in a quizzical, but rather amused, arch.

"You said you'd show me how Little Greg behaves in the morning." She answered, finding her way back against him, rubbing her body tentatively along his.

"Oh my Goooood!" He exclaimed with an irrepressible chuckle, "Are you trying to talk me into a quickie?"

"Are you trying to say you want to turn down my offer?" She said with a winning smile, moving her hand down to his lower abdomen again.

House jerked at the sensation of her hands, explicitly and skillfully resolute to awake him fully.

"Something's wrong with you!" He exclaimed, reaching out his hand to touch her forehead. She pouted and peered at him ingenuously. "Hmm, no sign of fever…"

"It's because you don't check in the right places…" She simpered mischievously, coming even closer and guiding his hand where she wanted it to be.

Although he was in awe at the idea of having her whole body at his complete disposal, he scrutinized her nonetheless, half-amused, half-intrigued by her sexual hunger. Not that he would complain about it, but he had to admit he was a little taken aback by her insatiable yearning for him, considering the fact that when it came to sexual craving, he was usually, and by far, the most greedy one.

"Come on… seriously?" He asked, furrowing his brow, but the huge grin he was showing her betrayed the pleasure he was taking in this.

"What? I like sex. I'm horny and I want you. Are you telling me you would want to complain about one of those things?"

"Duh? Me? Hell no!" He laughed.

Her hands were now unquestionably demanding. He took a sharp breath and tilted his head back closing his eyes. Cuddy smiled confidently and swiftly sat up straight in the bed.

"Come on!," she invited him in a hoarse compellingly yearning voice, "sit up!"

House opened his eyes and he saw the mischievous sparkle in hers. He sent her the same impish smile and docilely complied. When he came at her level, he approached her face and bent down to her ear.

"And what happened to the 'my parents could hear us' thing?"

"It doesn't apply during day, because they're downstairs now, two floors under, probably having breakfast, so there's no way they can hear us..." She answered, with an almost challenging tone in her voice that House didn't fail to catch.

"Oh-ho!," he chuckled, "I wouldn't be so sure of that, cuz' now that, thanks to you, I'm madly turned on, you know I'm not gonna take you for a gentle quiet ride…"

Cuddy put her hands on his shoulders and firmly pushed him backward to make him rest his back against the headboard. She then gave him an incredible sexily assertive smile and lifted her up above his lap.

"Do I look like I'm complaining here?" She said, leaning down to kiss him.

She didn't need to do any more rubbing to stir him up. His cock was already as hard as it could get, jerking upward in anticipation. She straddled him and positioned herself just above him. She stroked his silky throbbing shaft up and down its length a few times before guiding it inside her. She was aroused beyond reason and her perfectly wet sex welcomed him completely in one unique strong thrust. She felt the head of his cock hitting the entry of her womb and her walls strongly clamped around his hardness. She possessively grabbed him by the shoulders and she arched her back, throwing herself bodily into him, rocking powerfully, in an almost violent but undeniably exhilarating back and forth dance of the hips.

At the breathtaking sensation of her moist imprisoning him, a violent rush of blood invaded House's brain, and he felt like his head was fizzling. He gasped loudly and clasped her hips, clutching his knuckles in her flesh.

"Oh fuck! God! Lisa… you're so good…"

He tilted his head back and bit his lips, unaware of him closing his eyes as the wave that came crashing inside him made him turned his focus inward. Cuddy cupped his jaws in her hands, with poise, and she drew him to her. His eyes popped open and he saw her face just an inch far from his, daring him. With a spell-binding and intense gaze, she ordered him to keep looking at her. The silent message stimulated him even more than he already was and he let go of her hips to take her face in his hands as well. They stared at each other almost defiantly for a split second and in a perfect sync, they threw themselves towards each other's mouth and kissed. It was disorganized, passionate, hungry and above all, free. Free from constraints, free from fear, free from care. It was only lust wrapped in the pulsating love they were feeling for each other.

House met her demanding pace and strongly shoved upward while she kept him in her warmth, her bent legs firmly squeezed against his lap. The power of his thrusts, and the spot, incredibly pleasuring, he hit each time his shaft stabbed deeper inside her, made her moan and pant and she struggled to hold her upcoming orgasm back a little longer, not yet resigned to end this amazingly elating feeling.

"Mmm… hhhh…hhhh…hhhh…" were the sounds of her sharp breaths. She griped his neck and inclined her head back, exposing her breasts to him. "Oh yes, mmyes Greg! Just like that, just like that!"

"You like that?"

"Yes! More! More! Don't stop!"

House wrapped his arms around her waist and nose-dived between her breasts. Licking and biting and kissing, he squeezed her harder, while he made sure he was still keeping the mighty strength of his thrusts.

"I have no intention to." He reassured her, panting as well, as the mind-blowing movements of her body above him was driving him crazy.

She wound her arms around his neck and entwined her fingers behind his nape and she pulled him into her chest.

"Kiss me! … kiss me right there!"

House didn't need to be asked twice. He bent over and bit her hard erect nipple. He sucked it in and out of his mouth and licked the dark pink flesh. Meanwhile, with his hands firmly planted in the small of her back, he was leading the dance, their dance, pulling her into him with a compelling grip, and pushing her back with his powerful shoves. His shaft was about to explode. Her tight wet sex was the most dangerously hot massage he could dream of.

Cuddy relaxed her grab around his neck and removed her hands from his nape. At shoulder's length, astride his torso, she then placed her palms flat on the headboard for leverage, and she began to sway faster, at the same time pushing on her knees to lift her up, she took his length in and out of her, going up almost to the point where he would slid off of her, but then, just when he would have, she was sturdily pushing herself down again, capturing his cock inside her, and then up, down, up, fast, hard, strong…

"Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" House had never before so convincingly called out the name of a higher power, he didn't even believe in.

But the wave that was irrepressibly growing inside him was not a peaceful one. It was a tsunami of pleasure, uncontrollable and blissful. It started at the very bottom of the small of his back, then skirted his waist and enveloped his hips, descending in his groin where he could filled the heat gathering and ready to be released. Just when he felt he was about to explode, Cuddy threw herself into him without restraint, for one last thrust, as if she had sensed his signal. His hard member penetrated her deeply and hard and the second he felt he was completely inside her, she started to quiver, violently, and an amazing groan came from the depth of her throat, and then cries, shameless cries that she muffled and let die in his mouth, within a grateful and sensual kiss. Incapable of holding his orgasm back any longer himself, he came inside her, in pulsating waves, moaning without moderation as well. Cuddy closed her eyes and her whole body stiffened, the release of her pleasure almost tetanizing her; but when the tense slowly subsided and her body started to relax again, she then felt better than ever. Fulfilled.

House was still holding her tight against him and he was staring at her in awe, never getting enough of the enthralling image of her body's reaction to pleasure. She was so liberated, beautiful, confident. Alive.

He bent over and licked the small pearls of sweat that were rolling between her breasts.

"Mmm… zesty!" He said, with a teasing look.

She deliberately wiggled her hips left and right, his cock still inside her and it made him shudder. She leaned in his neck and sucked his flesh behind his ear, where there was no stubble.

"Mmm… frisky!" She replied, in the same bantering tone.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_if you're not a big fan of smut, then I'm sorry because there's been a lot lately... and if you... hmm... like it, then you're welcome! :)_

_ok so, I want to thank everyone of you for being here, reading, with enthusiasm and kindness, for the incredible comments you leave me and also, for adding me, even still now, in your fav lists... I can't find any right formula to tell you how incredibly happy it makes me feel!_

_enjoy life ~ maya_

_ps: (to Paroulis) hey welcome! I felt really flattered that this story lifted your spirit up a little, but please don't feel down. Huddy must have FAITH! that's what counts, ok? and I was very flattered that you read 55 chapters in one go... wow! really THANK YOU. I hope you appreciated the reviews as well... ;) _

_(to Kaddison) what am I suppose to say about THAT comment? wow, you really read right through me and saw that I indeed enjoyed comments, right? :) well I can't tell you how incredible yours is. thank you... I'm kinda speechless actually. I can answer some questions though. for example, I use the dictionary, of course, because I like accuracy and I'm a little bit obsessed with the vocabulary. however,and that's my curse, I think I'm never really satisfied, because I can never be as fluent as I would like to be if it were my first language... the proof is, as you have very well noticed, that it seems for example that I have the "irrepressible" need to irrepressibly make my characters scrutinize, or gaze or stare at each other... LOL and now GO BACK TO WRITE YOUR PAPER! (and another thing: no this is not over... even if the tension is now gone... uhmmm who knows if there isn't another one coming soon?!!........)_

_(to shion82) so? how happy have I made you with all that smut now? almost 3 chapters in a row... LOL...._

_(to Bree In Diamonds) I'm very flattered you stepped by and left a comment... I hope I'll hear from you again if you decide to read more... :)_

_(to Huddles777: I learned a new word thanks to you and I always love that when I can add new words to my "list"... thank you... and thanks too for_ the comment about


	58. Chapter 58

**_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER! where you'll finally meet the parents... yes because sex time is over..... at least for now.... :) _**

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* * *

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**** CHAPTER 58 ****

"Oh God! I just love when you wake me up like you just did." Cuddy sighed lasciviously.

"Yes, anytime you want." He answered with a bit of pride in his voice that made her smile. She leaned down to his face and gave him a gentle soft kiss. He nibbled her lips but after a few seconds he drew away from her face. "Now, give me the sheets." He suddenly said, "I have to tie them all together to build me a rope and escape through the window!"

"What are you talking about?" She exclaimed, amused.

"In case you didn't notice, you little minx, we're at your parents' house! So it means I have to go…"

"Yes. We have to go _downstairs_. I'm sure my mother made us breakfast."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no!! No way I'm gonna have breakfast with the whole Cuddy family… I'm serious! You gotta find a way to sneak me out of here."

"Greg! Come on!... you're not a teenager anymore!" She chuckled, "Are you saying you're afraid to meet my parents?"

"Hey, I'm not asking your dad to marry you!" He warned her with an extravagant theatrical tone.

She squinted at him and burst into laughter.

"Oh my God! You ARE afraid…"

"Noooooo," he objected, "Plus, I already met your parents, and FYI, your mom is absolutely crazy about me. You know I barely had to ask her to let me in that she was already pushing me into your bedroom…"

She smiled fondly and squeezed his cheeks, then smacked him on the lips.

"Aww, you are so sexy right now, do you know that?" She purred, starting to rub his torso suggestively.

She was still enfolded in his arms and he was caressing her tenderly, drawing the line of her spine up and down with his fingertips, but he narrowed his eyes and took a sharp breath.

"Tsssk, tssk," he said pushing her aside, "sex time is over. You've exhausted little Greg here…"

She repressed another laugh but complied, breaking away from their embrace and getting closer to the edge of the bed where she sat, offering him her back. She turned her head to the side and looked at him over her shoulder with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

"I guess all we have left to do is get dressed and go downstairs to eat something then. Cuz' I don't want you to be all washed out. You'll need to recharge your batteries because who knows what's going to happen tonight…"

He extended his arms to touch her and put his hand on the round shape of her shoulder, enveloping it almost entirely with his long warm hand.

"So that was your plan all along?" He asked her, with a low voice, barely above a whisper.

"What?"

"You know if you wanted me to meet your parents," he explained, half- jokingly half-seriously, "you should have tried to ask me first instead of running away…"

A dark shadow swiftly passed through his gaze and she slightly shivered at the sight of it, the memory of the pain they had inflicted to each other suddenly coming back to the surface. She turned around completely to face him and cradled his jaw in her hand.

"Greg…" She blew, lowering her head, feeling pangs of mingled emotions flowing inside her and tightening her throat, making it difficult for her to speak.

He put his finger under her chin and lifted her face up again so that she could meet his eyes. He said nothing, but with his intense piercing blue eyes, she instantly read everything he had to tell her and what it said was contained in only one word: forgiveness. She sighed voluptuously and stood up.

"I'm going to take shower." She stated.

He promptly threw the sheets away from him, uncovering his body and sat up straight in the bed.

"Me too." He answered, making it sound like this was not an option.

She smiled and waited for him to stand up. He came close to her and positioned himself behind her, winding his arms around her naked body. She covered his hands with hers and stretched her neck to the side, offering him her skin. He immediately nuzzled her nape and greedily nibbled at the tender flesh. She shuddered at the caress of his lips and promptly turned around, throwing her arms around his neck.

"Are you sure little Greg is absolutely and hopelessly exhausted?" She asked, a little naughtily.

He seized both her arms and pulled them off his neck. Keeping her wrists inside his hands, he made her take a step back away from him and studied her in silent, almost intrigued. Finally he let go of her and bent over to pick up his boxers.

"Lisa Cuddy," he started, continuing to pick up the rest of his clothes that were randomly scattered on the floor, "although you know how much I'd love to be your insatiable lover all day, the answer is still: YES! I'm sure!" He straightened up, holding his stuff rolled into a ball of cloth against his chest and peered at her with an exaggerated patronizing look on his face. "Damn, you really can't get enough of me, can you? But may I remind you that we're not horny teenagers anymore, " he carried on brashly, "and that your mom probably made breakfast for us so now it'd be impolite to make her wait any longer."

That said, he decisively walked past her, humming playfully and headed towards the bathroom, directly accessible from her bedroom. He stopped at the threshold and turned around to look at her.

"Are you coming or what? My back isn't going to wash itself you know!" He teased, beaming.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, but she joined him without being asked twice, pushing him inside the room and laughing spontaneously like a carefree college girl.

"I said no" He warned her, with his most convincing tone, while she closed the door still giggling.

* * *

Half an hour later, House and Cuddy were out of the bathroom, casually dressed and ready to go downstairs to meet her parents for breakfast. Cuddy was heading toward her bedroom door to go out when House caught up with her and seized her by the arm before she got the chance to open the door. She stopped and turned around to face him, interrogating him with her eyes. He relaxed his grab and stared back at her.

"What?" She simply asked, sensing that something was bothering him and he was trying to find the best way to say it.

He looked down at his feet and took a deep breath.

"Lisa…" He started "I'm okay with the idea of going down and have breakfast with your parents. I even agree to do whichever little family chit chat you'd want me to do, and play nice with your mom and dad but…" He stopped and locked his intensely demanding gaze with her eyes.

"But what?" She said, waiting.

"As soon as we're done, I want you to pack your stuff and come back home with me."

She felt a delicious shiver running through her spine when she heard him say the word "home". She perfectly knew they actually didn't share a real "home" though, but even if they weren't living together, she loved how in his mouth this simple little word just sounded like there was a place where they both belonged to. He probably meant the hospital, or just simply Princeton, but it was his way of saying he wanted to be with her and this very idea completely overwhelmed her with pure bliss. However, she set her lips in embarrassment and looked at him with sorry eyes.

"I can't go back…" She started to explain, but then panic filled his eyes and he immediately grabbed her arm, unconsciously clutching his knuckles into her flesh.

"What do you mean you can't?" He interrupted her with a trembling voice.

"No, no, that's not what you think," she clarified with her best reassuring voice, completely dazed and irrepressibly touched at the same time by his reaction, "I just meant that we can't leave right after breakfast… because I have an appointment with Bill Russell at MGH today. He's supposed to give me my latest tests results… "

"Oh! … Ok" He mumbled, looking away to hide his shame for having overreact like he had.

She took advantage of this little fleeting moment to come near him and she wrapped her arms around his waist, nestling her face onto his chest, pressing her forehead against his torso until he felt compelled to enclose her against him. She inhaled deeply when she finally felt his arms around her as well.

"But I will go home with you as soon as we get confirmation that I'm fine." She said in a low voice, enjoying the feeling of protectiveness his manly figure gave her.

"At what time is your appointment?" He asked, sounding a little preoccupied.

"At two this afternoon." She whispered not daring to look up at him, perfectly knowing that the mere idea of waiting that long would upset him. And she'd guessed right as his heavy and grumpy sigh quickly followed her statement. "But you can…"

"I'm going with you." He firmly said with a 'this is not negotiable' tone.

"Of course," she said gently, "but I mean, _until_ then, you know if you don't want to stay here…"

He chuckled, and squeezed her tighter.

"Don't worry for me," He answered, whispering inside her ear. "I can perfectly keep me occupied for a few hours…"

"Really?" She teased him.

He looked down at her and smirked.

"Yeah! Don't try and outsmart me woman, you know you'll lose anyway!" He exclaimed, moving his hands down to her butt and giving it a good squeeze.

She jumped in his arms and frowned in fake disapprobation.

"Let's go downstairs now," she said, moving away from inside his arms, "my parents are going to start wondering what we're doing."

"I'm pretty sure they haven't started wondering about that just now!" He answered, incapable of holding back his chuckle.

She opened the door of her room and was about to step outside but instead, she turned around to face him again. She raised her free hand up and pointed a warning finger at his face.

"I'm warning you! You better behave yourself with my parents…"

"Maybe, if you say 'please'…" He tantalized.

"House!"

"Mmm, I love it when you call me House with your bossy voice like that…"

She shook her head in disbelief and walked out. He followed her, grabbing his cane on his way out, and heading towards the stairs.

* * *

"Here you are!" Dana Cuddy exclaimed when she saw her daughter standing at the kitchen's door, shuffling about hesitantly. Immediately perceiving the awkwardness in her attitude, Dana Cuddy smiled broadly "Oh please darling, you don't need to act uneasy. It's not like you're fifteen and you had spent the whole night out without telling us!" She added with a bit of playful mockery in her voice.

Lisa Cuddy widened her eyes in astonishment at her mother's comment but promptly regained composure and entered the room.

"And you can tell your _friend_ that he can come in too." Dana Cuddy added, obviously enjoying the situation very much.

"Don't worry. I had no intention of staying out." House's voice started to answer from the hallway. "Just give the cripple enough time to make it to the door!" He walked inside the kitchen short after Cuddy and stopped at the threshold, trying hard to hide his inner nervousness underneath a large self-confident smile.

He scanned the room swiftly. Dana was standing in front of the stove, baking some pancakes. Benjamin Cuddy was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee in his hand, absent-mindedly reading the morning paper, which was open on the table. At the sound of House's voice, he raised his face and looked up at him. Their eyes met and Benjamin gave House a discreet nod, a slight amused grin forming on the corner of his mouth. Lisa walked toward the table and took a seat next to her father. She turned her head towards House and gave him a reassuring smile. "Come!" she mouthed to him. He clutched his cane's handle harder but didn't move a bit.

"Mom, dad" Cuddy started with the voice of a little girl, "This is Gregory House, he's…"

"We know who he is sweetie." Dana promptly interrupted her, with a mischievous smile that said she was not only talking about his professional bonds with her daughter. "Dr. House!" she then added, turning around and putting a dish full of freshly baked pancakes onto the table while sitting next to her husband as well, "You're not going to stand there while we eat, are you?"

He stretched his neck and conspicuously breathed in the air.

"Why, you're right, I happen to have burnt an awful lot of calories lately and actually, to be honest, I'm starving." He answered boldly, finally daring to step inside.

He limped towards the table and sat down in the chair next to Cuddy. She shot him a glare and in their trademark twisted way, it gave him just the extra energy he needed to allow himself to unwind completely.

"What?" He exclaimed, flashing an ingenuous smile at her, "I'm sure your mom hasn't cooked nearly a hundred pancakes just for herself."

"Greg…" Cuddy hissed, through clenched teeth, stiffening in her chair.

"Yeah well he's right," Benjamin said supportively, "Your mom never cooks that much for breakfast. Usually, I'm happy if I have a coffee and a slice of toasted bread.

"Maybe it's because you don't burn as much calories as Dr. House does." Dana answered impishly, without missing a beat.

"Mom!" Cuddy exclaimed in shock, just when House simultaneously burst into laughter.

"Don't give me that look Lisa," Dana said, echoing House's laugh with a giggle of her own, "You better eat instead, because I'm sure you need some extra calories too."

Lisa Cuddy felt her face turning crimson red and she shrank in her chair to hide her discomfort. House leaned down towards her and rested his hand on her thigh, giving it a tender cuddle.

"Relax Sunshine," he said in a low voice, "I'm sure your mom knew about fun ways to burn her calories too long before you were born… Actually," he added, his voice turning up a notch, "I'm even pretty sure that it's how you…"

Cuddy swiftly reached out for his hand under the table and gave it a hard menacing squeeze.

"Ouch!" House exclaimed.

"Darling please, pour Dr. House a cup of coffee." Dana said, to ease the tension. Cuddy let go of her grab on House's hand and seized the coffee pot. In the meantime, Dana took hold of the dish and handed it over to House.

"Please help yourself to pancakes." She offered.

House didn't need to be asked twice. He filled his plate generously and started to eat greedily. A quiet silence pervaded the room for a while.

"Now that there's apparently no need for you to stay here any longer, I guess you'll leave us soon, right sweetie?" Benjamin suddenly said out of the blue, looking at his daughter with a fatherly fond smile.

"Ben!" Dana protested, "Do you really need to talk about that now? Can't you just let us enjoy our breakfast instead of throwing our daughter outside like she wasn't welcome in this house anymore?"

"No mom, that's ok" Cuddy said softly, giving her father his tender smile back. "Dad is right. Actually…" She reached for House's hand under the table but this time just hold on to it gently, "Greg and I are probably going back to Princeton today."

"Oh Sweetie! Are you absolutely sure?" Dana pleaded with a slight sadness in her voice.

"Dana please," Benjamin said to his wife, "Lisa's not a little girl anymore. She needs to go back to her life, run her hospital and make every doctor in the place stand to attention."

"Dad!" Cuddy exclaimed, stifling a quiet laugh, "I'm not making…"

"Oh yes you are!" House interrupted her. Lisa turned to face him and smacked him on the top of his arm. "Don't worry," He added, giving her a wink, "I love it when you do that…" He turned to face Cuddy's parents and grinned widely "Seriously! I love it when she does that!"

"Tell me you're at least staying with us for lunch" Dana said, still stomaching the distressful news of her daughter imminent leaving.

"Mom, I'm afraid we can't… I have an important appointment early this afternoon and it's probably better if we eat downtown, because I don't want to risk being late." Lisa answered with a sorry voice, witnessing the disappointment spreading on her mother's face.

"But, we could stay for dinner if you're still ok to invite us, that is." House most unexpectedly suggested, causing Cuddy's mouth to drop wide open in utter bewilderment.

She turned to face him and squinted quizzically at him, trying to decipher whether he was joking or not. House gave her her stare back.

"What?" He said with an exaggerated candid face, "Your mom's a good cooker. I could enjoy another one of her home made meal before I go back to slowly killing my stomach with the awful food you're approving for the hospital's cafeteria."

Despite the provoking banter, Cuddy perfectly recognized House's so touching way of offering her the perfect pretext to stay with her parents a little while longer. She couldn't repress the loving smile that spread on her face.

"Are you sure?" She almost didn't dare to ask, "You said you wanted to go back as soon as possible…"

"Yes, but we can wait until tomorrow." He told her in a soft tone. "And like that, you'll have plenty of time to pack your stuff after this afternoon's appointment, instead of rushing to the airport to catch the evening flight, because I bet you brought half your wardrobe here."

"Oh yes she did!" Dana exclaimed chuckling, hopeful joy resonating in her voice again. "So that means you're staying with us another night then?"

House cleared his throat and glanced at Cuddy before he turned to Dana again with a wide beam.

"Actually, if you don't mind, I think we're going to book a hotel room instead. I don't want to risk ruining your sleep two nights in a row." He added with his ever famous smug self-satisfied face.

"Fortunately, Benjamin and I wear earplugs" Dana answered, smiling.

"Do we?" Benjamin asked, raising his face from his morning paper to meet his wife's gaze and widening his eyes in surprise.

"Stop it please!" Cuddy beseeched, covering her face with her hands for a split second. She straightened up again and looked at House who was smiling at her. "Greg, I approve your hotel room idea two hundred per cent! You should go make all the necessary reservations while I'm packing my stuff and we'll meet for lunch at MGH around noon. What do you think?"

"I think I half agree with you on that last part. I'm going downtown to do what I have to do but I prefer to come back here to pick you up before lunch." He said and Cuddy felt a delightful wave of emotion filling her heart as she read his offer as an unsaid proof of his fragile fear of losing her again if he ever stayed away from her for too long. She couldn't tell him that in front of her parents but she stared at him longingly hoping to convey all the reassuring words he needed to hear from her in the intensity of her gaze.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_thank you for your kind words and your good vibes you're stil sending me. I hope you're still enjoying the ride..._

_HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE WHO CELEBRATES THE DAY, AND...... HAPPY THURSDAY TO EVERY OTHER!: HAVE FUN, TAKE CARE! ~ maya_

_ps (to Kaddison): if you hadn't said you weren't a native speaker, I'd have never guessed... just sayin'! and what seduces me in English is the metaphorical visuals it creates with some extremely efficient and accurate association of words. English got me with words such as: heartbreaking, breathtaking, gut-wrenching, brainstorming, mind-blowing and so on… I also love that English posseses the great linguistic power of making the words "sound" what they mean, like "crash", "bang" "shush" "bump" "blurp"… but sometimes I just love words only because they are pure musical delights to my ears such as "doodle" "bamboozled" "lullabies"… :)_

_(to Huddles777): I'm deeply touched that you took the time to go to Fox and read what I posted there... and thank you for the compliment about that different writing thing I do... :)_

_(to shion81): so? did the chapter answer your question about what the parents had or had not hear? ... what do you think? :-)_


	59. Chapter 59

_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER… where - I hope - you'll enjoy House's way of spicing a simple ride to the hospital..._

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** CHAPTER 59 **

She was in her room, packing her stuff when her cell phone rang. She gave a look at the caller id and smiled.

"Hey! How's it going downtown?" She asked, already impatiently waiting for him to be back.

"Do you have a real jacket?"

"What? What do you mean a real jacket?"

"I mean something that's not made out of dangerously thin fluffy fabric."

"Why?"

"Ttt! answer first: do you?""

"Well maybe I have this duffle-coat that my mom keeps in…"

"Ok. Put in on and meet me outside."

"You're already here?" She exclaimed, in a joyful tone.

"I said I'll pick you up before lunch and it's eleven thirty."

"Wow! So you can actually be on time!" She mocked, chuckling.

"Yeah… and you're going to have to find yourself someone else to have lunch with if you don't get your ass down here in five minutes!" He grunted, and hung up.

She looked at her cell and sighed voluptuously, before hurrying to find the jacket and put it on, excitement making her heart beat faster. She grabbed her purse and practically run downstairs. When she passed in front of the living room, she caught the silhouette of her mom and swiftly waved at her on her way to the door, without stopping.

"House is there. I'm going. See you later for dinner!"

Before Dana could answer her anything, Cuddy had already disappeared and the sound of the door being slammed shut resonated in the hallway. Dana closed her eyes for a brief moment and smiled. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had seen her daughter so radiant.

* * *

When Cuddy stepped out of her parents' house, she was surprised not to see him right away as she had expected to. She looked around, a little anxious and then she saw him. She froze up and put her left hand on her waist, shifting her body's weight to one side in a sexy swaying of the hip.

"What's that?" She asked, frowning.

"That, is a motorcycle…"

It was parked on the sidewalk, rested on its stand, its gleaming chromes glittering under the noon light. House was standing beside it, proud and beaming, looking as happy and excited as a child would have been with his new toy.

"I can see that." Cuddy said, cautiously coming closer. "I know how a motorcycle looks like."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah you know… sure… but what you don't know is that this baby is not just a motorcycle. This, is a Triumph Scrambler…"

"And?" she said, raising an eyebrow with a 'not at all impressed' look on her face, "Does it have magical power or something?"

"Duh! It's a gem! Tom Cruise drove one like that in Mission Impossible!" He exclaimed with an irresistible boyish wonderment.

She couldn't repress her laughter but then, quite simultaneously regained her composure and shook her head no determinedly.

"I don't know where you got that gem…"

"I rented it…"

"OR, even what you thought you would do with that but…"

"Get on!" He said compellingly, beaming at her.

"No way!" She protested.

"Get on woman!" He repeated with a groan.

"House, you're not serious, are you?"

"Of course I am! I want you to get on that bike, wind your arms around my waist tightly so we can ride like the wind until we find a nice restaurant to have lunch together."

Cuddy took a step forwards and squinted at him, looking genuinely intrigued.

"Are you high?" She asked, a part of her actually seriously wondering if he was really expecting her to ride that bike with him. "How many Vicodin did you have?" She added, with a slight worry in her voice.

She was close enough now and he took advantage of it, grabbing her hand by surprise to yank her towards him. She fell into his arms and he enfolded her possessively. She wriggled to free herself at first, but only pretended to resist for a few seconds and then she relaxed in his embrace, burying her face in his chest.

"I had one Vicodin, and it was three hours ago, after breakfast." He blew huskily above her head. "I'm not high, not more than I usually am, that is. I just want to take you out for lunch … with that bike."

She raised her face up to meet his gaze and she studied him for a moment, her light grey eyes intensely locked within his piercing stare. He conspicuously pouted in the most irresistible way and he tightened his embrace, pressing on the small of her back to bring her closer against his hips.

"Come on," he whined, with just the right necessary amount of beseeching inflection in his voice, and a disarming smile, "it's fun and you're gonna love it!"

"But what's the difference? If we just need to go from point A to point B, then we might as well take the car…"

"Why do you have to be such a buzz-kill?"

"I'm not a buzz-kill!" She protested with an immediate upset reaction, stiffening a bit inside his arms.

He leaned down and buried his face inside her neck, pushing the hem of her scarf away from her skin with his nose. He started to nibble her flesh gently until he felt her relax in his embrace again.

"Lisa…" He whispered, brushing her skin with his lips while she irrepressibly stretched her neck to give in to the caress of his kisses. "If it makes no difference to you, then just say yes… for me…" He promptly straightened up to face her again and stared compellingly at her. "Pretty, pretty please."

"You're such a child!" She sighed, starting to show some signs of weakness.

His smile widened for he knew she wouldn't resist much longer now.

"And what do I do with my purse?"She asked, with a challenging tone.

"And you are such a girlie girl!" He answered, chuckling "But that's what these are for…" He then added, pointing at the saddlebags. "Hah! See? I have everything planned… Come on, you know you can't possibly say no! So put that on and let's move."

Saying this, he took a helmet on the bike's saddle and handed it to her. She raised her chin defiantly and squinted at him a few extra seconds, trying to play with his nerves, but he knew she had already given up so he didn't flinch. He just kept handing her the helmet until she finally took it. While she cautiously put it on, he took his and put it on as well. Then he got on the bike and adjusted himself on the saddle, steadying the bike with his good leg, while he hooked his cane on the side, above the exhaust pipe. She approached to sit behind him but when she walked past him he grabbed her by her coat and tugged her in front of him. Through her visor, he saw her interrogative gaze but without any further explanation, he made her lift her chin up in a compelling gesture and he checked her helmet's tie. He tightened the strap a little more then he let go of her chin and she slowly lowered her face down again. When her eyes met his, she peered at him with a mesmerized fond gaze and he gave her a look that said "_yeah, no need to make a fuss about that, it's only a matter of security…_" As a result, her face softened even more and he saw her leaning down a little towards him as if she wanted to give him a kiss, completely oblivious of the helmet's issue that would have gotten in their way. It made him irrepressibly laugh and he straightened her up before the inevitable collision, then gave her one last stare and zipped her jacket's collar shut.

"God! You so need to practice your self-control!" He teased her, beaming. "Come on, I promise I'll let you grope me all you want later but right now I'm starving, so get on and let's go!"

She rolled her eyes and walk round him to sit on the bike behind him. He made sure to lean it lower enough for her to straddle it effortlessly and when she sat down on the saddle, her light weight barely made the bike move. She immediately wrapped her arms around his waist and he couldn't repress the thrill it gave him to feel his woman holding on to him so tightly. Filled with a sudden burst of pride, he stuck out his chest and turned the engine on.

"Ready?" He shouted to cover the engine's humming sound.

As an answer, she clasped him tighter, leaning against his back and resting her head between his shoulder blades. He popped the bike into first gear and, squeezing the brake, he gave a few accelerations that made the engine rev. Then he carefully pushed with his feet to make the bike climb down the sidewalk, but once on the road, he twirled the throttle, released the clutch and the bike shot off within a perfect throbbing sound.

Inside Cuddy's residence, Benjamin walked into the living room where he joined his wife who was quietly seated in the couch, reading.

"I think you would want to know that our daughter just left, riding a bike."

Dana Cuddy lifted her face up and raised an eyebrow, half-amused, half-intrigued by her husband's fake serious tone.

"Really?"

"Yes! And of course, she was not the one driving it."

"Of course she wasn't." Dana repeated, with a tender look on her face.

* * *

He parked the bike across the street, right in front of the restaurant and let her get down. He turned the engine off and then got off the bike as well. He watched her took her helmet off and he peered at her with a fond smile when she instinctively shook her head to release her from the feeling of compression it had left her.

"What?" She said, suspiciously, noticing his stare.

Her cheeks were pink and her eyes glistening. Her hair was all scruffy and she looked gorgeous. He came closer and gently redid her hair, combing it with his fingers.

"Nothing." He lied, not wanting to confess how much her beauty made his heart beat faster. "So?"

"So what?"

"How much did you like the ride?" He asked wrapping his arms around her waist to imprison her in his embrace.

"It was… loud… and unsteady…. and cold and…" She stopped and smiled.

"It was a real kick and you loved it!" He exclaimed, beaming, but she looked at him, and remained stubbornly silent. "Admit it!" He insisted, squeezing her tighter against him.

She raised her hands up to his face and covered his cheeks with both her palms. Then she rubbed his stubble gently and drew him to her face. He leaned down and let her nibble at his lips teasingly.

"Ok. I admit. I may have enjoyed the ride…" She blew into his mouth, "but you haven't turned me into a biker for all that!"

"Too bad, cuz' you would have been so sexy all dressed in leather…" He said, laughing.

She didn't answer and just stared at him silently, with a soft smile on her lips. He looked at her, completely mesmerized by the tenderness lying underneath her gaze, and delicately placed one of her ringlets back behind her ear.

"Are you hungry?" He asked her in a low voice.

"A little" She admitted and she looked around her for the first time since he had stopped the bike. Then she suddenly seemed to recognize where he had taken her and her eyes grew bigger at the sign of the restaurant across the street. "The Meritage?" She said, sounding a bit impressed, "Too bad, we will never get a table at this hour." She sighed and smiled at him. "But I must say, that was a nice try!"

He grinned and let go of her to take her purse out of the saddlebag, then he handed it over to her.

"Nice try? uh-uh, I don't think so… You should know by now that I'm not _just trying_, I'm succeeding…" He put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her forwards lightly to make her take a step. "Come on! Let's go!" But she stiffened and didn't move.

"I'm telling you, we won't get a…"

"I made a reservation you moron! Can you give me a little credit here?" He exclaimed with a fake shocked tone.

She scrutinized him and she bit her lips, her features taking on an irrepressible delighted look.

"Aw, you did?" She said, melting.

"Yep! Apparently, you still have a lot to learn about me." He stated, leaning towards her a little and staring at her assertively.

"You think? Like what?"

He came even closer, his face almost touching hers, and he locked his eyes with hers.

"Like I'm not always the bastard you think I am."

"I don't think you're a bastard." She said.

"Good…"

"Not all the time, that is…"

His mouth dropped open at her sassy comment and she straightened up proudly, holding her head up high, a slightly tantalizing smile forming on the corner of her lips.

"Hah! Maybe…But you know you like that. 'Cause you'd get bored if I weren't a complete asshole sometimes!." He dared to answer, sustaining her defiant gaze with a teasing self-confident look.

She pouted and narrowed her eyes, intensifying her stare on him and then, without a warning she took a step back.

"Yeah… don't push your luck." She said, turning on her heels and she started to walk towards the restaurant.

He stayed rooted to his spot for a brief moment and watched her cross the road. Then finally, he limped determinedly to catch her up, a broad smile displayed on his face.

**

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A/N

_It's my birthday today, well actually for me now, it's not anymore because it's past midnight but it was, November, 29__th__… and I don't know why I'm telling you this (maybe let's be honest because I hope to receive lots of B-day wishes! LOL) but also because I feel great: I had a good day, playing music all afternoon, then drinking champagne to celebrate! so maybe I'm a little tipsy, but inside it feels "happy" and I couldn't keep it just for myself... :-)_

_hope you're still enjoying the story!_

_I wish you a very GOOD morning, day, afternoon, night… everything!_

_BE WELL, HAVE FUN! ~ maya_

_PS (to Huddles777): waiting for your DM, send it whenever you want... :) _


	60. Chapter 60

**HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER… **

**I hope you'll like it! :-)**

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** CHAPTER 60 **

In addition to its exquisite cuisine, the Meritage offered a stunning view over the Marina and luckily enough, House had gotten them a reservation at a table near the large bay windows that opened to the sea. The place was cozy and refined. It was fully booked, but most delightfully, it felt as if each table was isolated enough to be able to enjoy some privacy and quietness. They ordered sea food and white wine and savored their dishes, almost silently, not really feeling the need to talk, their eyes riveted to each other, and a perfect feeling of peace pervading their body. After the main course, House ordered a dessert, but Cuddy declined the waiter's offer to do the same and just ask for an herbal tea instead. A short while later, the waiter came back with her infusion and House's pastry, a mouth-watering chocolate fondant, floating in vanilla custard. He put the plate in front of House and Cuddy had to contain her laughter at the sight of his spontaneous boyish greedy expression. The waiter had barely started to pace away that, incapable of waiting any longer, he took a bite of the cake and closed his eyes, humming loudly with his mouth full.

"Hmmm! You gotta try this!" He said, opening his eyes again. Without waiting for her answer, he picked another piece of cake and he extended his arm over the table, putting the full spoon under her mouth to feed her. She slightly leaned back when his hand approached her face and set her lips. "Come on, taste it!"He insisted. She puffed and finally complied, docilely parting her lips. He slid the spoon inside her mouth and the flavor of chocolate invaded her senses. Intoxicated by the sensation, she stole him the spoon and whirled it on her tongue to lick its content fully.

"Oh God!" She sighed voluptuously, "This should be forbidden!"

He laughed, touched by her genuine spontaneity when suddenly, he jumped in his chair and immediately put his hand on his upper thigh to cover his jeans' pocket, irrepressibly wiggling and pressing on his groin.

"What?" She asked, a little anxiously.

"Nothing. It's my cell." He raised his eyebrows mischievously and sent her a naughty look. "I'm on buzzer…"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, and shook her head. "It's ok, you can answer it." She told him, comprehensively.

He didn't wait for any further green light, and fished the cell phone out of his pocket. He checked the caller ID and lifted his face up to her. "It's Wilson." He announced flatly, staring at the mobile phone.

"Well answer him then!" She exclaimed impatiently.

House slid the cell receiver open and brought it to his ear.

"You realize that your constant need to meddle in my life like you do actually means that you don't have one yourself." He stated straight away, without even bothering to say 'hello' first.

Cuddy sent him a reproving look to which House didn't pay attention, so she trailed her eyes lower and her gaze met his plate, where his dessert was still tantalizingly waiting to be eaten. She impishly took advantage of the situation and swiftly stole another bite of his cake while he carried on his conversation. He saw her and he frowned at her menacingly. She beamed wider and, leaning forward, she conspicuously bit in the cake, licking the spoon greedily in front of his face.

"No." House was saying to Wilson, still frowning. "Yes… I saw her. No…… Nothing's fixed… At all… She dumped me… Yeah… It's over… For good."

Realizing what House was talking about, Cuddy dropped the spoon on the table and glared at him. "_What are you talking about_?" she mouthed to him. House promptly bent over and took the spoon back. He smiled victoriously at her and went on talking.

"No, I'm fine… Yeah I'm sure… Actually, right now I'm having lunch in a very fancy restaurant, with a very sexy girl… oh yeah… you should see her… she's a true babe!"

Cuddy frowned and pouted reproachfully, but House took a piece of his cake in his spoon, reached out for her mouth again and tempted her with another bite, teasingly waving it in front of her face. He was about to take the spoon away, but she grabbed his wrist and compellingly guided his hand toward her mouth to steal the piece of fondant, which she ate with unrestrained delight.

"Although, she tends to steal all my food," he added, looking her intensely in the eyes and freeing his wrist from her grab "but she's hot, so I forgive her… No I just met her yesterday… in a bar… I was drunk, you know, the break up and all that… but she took care of me… reaaaaaally good care, if you know what I mean…"

Cuddy shook her head again, faking to be appalled but in the end, even after all those years, she was mostly astonished at how completely childish and stupid he could act sometimes just to bug his best friend. But it was so touching… Childish and stupid… but touching. "_Put him on_!" she mouthed to House, deciding that the game had lasted long enough and impatiently gesturing him to give her his cell.

"Oh wait!" He exclaimed, "She wants to talk to you! Yes! I put her on!" He grinned mischievously and handed the phone over to her. She promptly seized it and brought the receiver to her ear.

"Hello, Wilson… "

"Hello Cuddy." Wilson said on the other end of the line, sounding relieved to finally talk with a 'grown-up' human being. "How are you?"

"Fine. Sorry for the crap House just said…"

"Yeah well, it's not like I wasn't used to it."

"You're right, it's not…"

"So how are you?" He asked again, not really knowing what to say or how to say it. Cuddy sensed his embarrassment and she decided to get rid of the uneasiness once and for all.

"Wilson," She said, "stop worrying. Everything's fine, I promise. House came to my parent's house yesterday. We talked, we made up. Then we had passionate sex all night long and now we're having lunch by the bay, in a very nice restaurant. It's all good, I swear. You can go back treat your patients now."

On the other side of the table, House almost choked on his cake when he heard what she had said to Wilson. He stared at her with a very impressed look, mingled with a bit of pride. Cuddy noticed his look and she flashed him a roguish smile.

"We're coming back tomorrow." She added, this time with seriousness in her tone.

"Great!" Wilson exclaimed, unable to hide the huge relief this news had just given him. Cuddy understood that, more than the comeback of her as a friend, Wilson also mostly awaited the return of her as the Dean of Medicine, remembering that she had burdened him with responsibilities he hadn't had asked for.

"How did it go with the hospital's daily routine?" She asked, sounding slightly guilty and certainly not very proud of herself for what she had made him endured the past week.

"Daily _routine_!? Is that your idea of what routine should be like? Gee! Then you're most definitely better qualified for your job than any of us will ever be." Wilson confessed, "I did what I can, but to be honest I can't tell you how much relieved I am to hear you're finally coming back."

"Thank you Wilson" She told him in a low voice. "I don't know what I'd do if..."

"Bah!" He interrupted her "You know I'd do it again anytime if you'd ask… even if I fiercely hope you won't, not before at least a million years!" He chuckled and she smiled. "Lisa… I'm so happy for you and House… that you… well you know."

Cuddy unconsciously clutched the cell phone tighter in her hand, feeling a wave of emotion overwhelm her.

"Yes I know," she simply answered, a little uneasily. "Me too…"

In front of her, House noticed the change in her tone and he intensely peered at her. Underneath his concerned eyes she could see that, despite the fact he couldn't hear what Wilson was saying, he however perfectly knew what it was. He started to fidget in his chair and he sighed heavily, staring impatiently at her.

"But now, tell me about you? How are you doing?" Wilson carried on, his voice taking on this characteristic empathic tone he always had when he was asking about his friends' health.

Cuddy opened her mouth to answer, but like a devil jerking out of his box, House suddenly leaned over the table and snatched the cell phone out of her hand. Then he brought it to his ear and slouched back down into his chair, looking Cuddy right in the eyes while he said:

"Wilson! She's fine! I'm fine! Everything's fine… Now let us enjoy the rest of our lunch and go see your patients. I'm sure there's at least one who's dying and needs your caring comfort out there."

And without waiting for any comment or answer from his friend, he slammed the phone shut and put it back in his pocket. Cuddy shook her head, aghast, and glared angrily at him. House widened his eyes and shot her a devilish grin.

"Stop staring at me like that!" He told her "You know that at some point, someone has to shut him up, otherwise it'd be just endless…"

"Well still, that was rude!"

He puffed and beamed wider.

"Like you care!" He teased, chuckling.

"Yes I do!" She insisted, stubbornly. "Wilson's always been a good friend and he took care of the hospital while…"

Her mouth stayed open and she stopped, realizing, but too late, what dark subject she had involuntarily brought up. House caught her discomfort and his face clouded over. His smile faded away and he stared at her, with gravity in his gaze. The heavy silence that ensued felt like an eternity for both of them.

"Lisa," He suddenly said out of the blue, and his voice was hoarse and slightly wobbling. "Tell me the truth: had you planned on coming back at all?"

She bit her lips and the look on her face changed slightly, guilt somehow spreading behind her eyes.

"Yes." She answered her voice barely above a whisper.

"When?"

"I don't know." She said, undeniably choosing the most sincere answer she could offer.

"And…" He took a sharp breath and pierced intensely into her eyes, "what would have happened then?"

"I don't know." She said again.

"What do you mean?"

"I hadn't thought about it. I…" She lowered her head and took a deep breath. Then she faced him again and added, "I guess I never thought I would have to come back… without you…" He widened his eyes, taken aback by her confession. "You were right last night… I think a part of me was secretly wishing for you to come find me."

"And what if I hadn't?" He challenged her.

She stared at him and she perceived the slight remnants of anger in his tone and it felt like arrows piercing through her chest.

"You'll never forgive me, will you?" She sighed, sadness suddenly spreading over her face.

"I already have forgiven you." He answered huskily.

"Maybe, but you'll never forget. It's the same."

"No it's not. Because I don't want to forget. I choose not to forget… but I _had to_ forgive you. That's different."

She widened her eyes, a little bit shocked, not really knowing if she should take this confession as a good sign or not. But then his hoarse voice started whispering again and she stared at him, holding her breath, while he confessed.

"Life is a gamble… you never know if you'll win or lose… you never know if you're gonna be happy or not. No matter how hard you try. Because you don't get to decide for your own happiness." He paused and smiled softly. There was a mingled glitter of passion and bitterness in his eyes that she had never seen burn so fiercely before. "I'm not a happy person. But I know how I feel without you. And I don't want to forget that. I don't want to forget why, no matter what you do, I have no choice but to forgive you…"

She bit her lips and a shudder ran up her spine, making her slightly hunched her shoulders. Her eyes became moist and he immediately felt the urge to make her smile. He wouldn't forget; but that was his choice and he didn't want her to carry the burden for him, or feel responsible any longer.

"However" He added, conspicuously exaggerating his reproaching tone "when I say, 'no matter what you do', it doesn't apply to you stealing my dessert, which of course _is_ unforgivable!"

He filled his spoon with a large piece of chocolate fondant, damped in custard and greedily ate it in front of her. She smiled and her smile enlightened her features, wiping away the sorrow from her face. The vision felt to him as soft as if she had caressed his skin with her lips. He fished another piece of cake and licked the spoon again, teasingly and selfishly eating the cake under her nose. This time, she let out a chuckle and the sound of it instantly released him from his remaining muscle stiffness. He put the spoon down and intensely peered at her. Then he looked at his watch and sighed.

"It's almost one thirty." He announced unenthusiastically, thereby reminding her that her appointment's scheduled time was approaching.

She slightly nodded, and finished drinking her tea just when, in an involuntarily perfect timing, the waiter approached.

"Have you finished?" He asked looking at House, and waiting for his signal to clear the dishes away.

House glanced at his plate where some bits of chocolate fondant were still floating in the remnants of the rich flavored custard.

"Yes. Thank you" He answered, "Can you bring us the check, please" He added.

"Certainly, sir" The waiter said, cautiously piling the dishes in one hand and swiftly walking away as soon as he was done.

Cuddy unconsciously followed him with her eyes and when she turned to face House again, she saw he had his hand inside his jeans' pocket.

"Phone call again?" She asked.

As an answer, he took a piece of folded paper out and put it on the table in front of her.

"What's that?" She said slightly short of breath, and her lips started to tremble a little.

"Sorry I had no box to put it inside." He answered with a husky voice that sounded almost like a groan.

Her heart started to beat faster at the memory of the last time he had gave her something, something special. Something she had given back to him, just before she had left.

"Your key?"

"No," he simply stated, with an almost toneless voice, "it's your pair of golden earrings. The ones you used to wear all the time."

She took the piece of paper and carefully unfolded it. It indeed revealed the delicate pair of pendants she liked so much. Instinctively her right hand covered her heart while her left one held the earrings in front of her.

"I thought I had lost them." She said in a low voice.

"You hadn't. I found them in the nightstand's drawer." She lifted her face and met his gaze. "At my place." He specified.

She bit her lips and cautiously put the earrings back inside the sheet of paper and folded it again.

"And your key? …" She asked, hesitantly, "I thought it was… I thought that's what you were going to give to me."

"Why?" He dared her to answer.

She raised her chin up and locked her eyes with his.

"Because I want it back." She stated assertively, all her hesitation dissolving in this blunt evidence.

"I don't have it anymore."

She widened her eyes, bemused.

"Odds are… I may have flushed it down the toilet." He confessed, smiling.

She smiled too and put out her hand on the table, until she touched his fingertips. He didn't move and just stared at her, uneasy. She slightly slid closer and caressed the back of his hand slowly, still looking him in the eyes.

"Ok. Fine!" He suddenly exclaimed in an extravagant tone, "I'll make you a new one if you insist! But stop groping me like that. We're in a restaurant for God's sake!" He removed his hand from hers and she stared at him both amused and puzzled at the same time by his reaction. But then, the waiter appeared and put the check on the table and she smiled, somehow touched by his discomfort. House searched for his wallet and she pushed her chair back to stand up.

"I'm going to the restrooms." She said "and then I'll wait for you at the front door, ok?"

He nodded and she walked away. A few minutes later, he joined her outside and they crossed the road towards the bike. House handed her the helmet and before she put it on, she looked at her watch and he saw her shuddering. But she was warmly wrapped up in her coat so he knew it had nothing to do with her being cold. He came closer and seized her by her coat's lapels. Then, he gently drew her to him and stared intensely into her eyes.

"It's ok." He said simply "Let's get this over with and then we'll go back to your parent's for dinner."

She leaned down and buried her face in his chest, forcing him to let go of her coat and enfold her inside his arms. He held her tight and she snuggled up against him, resting her forehead in the hollow of his collarbone, taking a few deep breathes and filling her nostrils with the mixed scent of leather, musk and chocolate that emanated from his neck. After a moment, he took her chin in his hand and brought her face up to his.

"We have to go." He said.

She smiled sheepishly and put her helmet on. He did the same and got on the bike; then he turned the engine on, while she sat behind him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he briefly covered them with his hand and squeezed them gently, just before he grabbed the handlebar and guided the bike on the road, towards the hospital.

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A/N

_Ha! You wanted some Wilson? See? Ask and thou shall receive!_

_Anyway… we're now approaching the stressful (at least for me) moment where we'll be in sync with the Fox forum posting, which means I'll have NO chapters written in advance anymore… ughh! _

_however! First, there're still three more after this one AND I'll be on vacation for Xmas, so maybe that's not such a bad timing, cuz' I'll surely have time to write and then I'll maybe be able to maintain a rather "normal" rhythm of posting… but I just wanted to warn you about that dead end and its possible consequences… _

_Anyway I've been enjoying this experience very much and I thank you for all the pleasure and happiness you've given me since I first came to this site to post my story! __THANK YOU!_

_HAVE FAITH! ~ maya_

_PS: some of you are asking me about my review for 6.10 "Wilson" via Twitter or in the forum... uhmm well, the thruth is, it's not up yet cuz' I must confess that I'm shamelessly taking advantage of the hiatus to procrastinate a little… anyway, I'll be posting the link in my profile (along with the other ones already there) as soon as I'm done writing it! which should be this week end at best or maybe early next week..._


	61. Chapter 61

_Hi everyone! It's been a very long time, I know… and without a warning so I'm very sorry… but here I am! Back with the NEW CHAPTER! :-)_

_you'll now enter the unfamiliar walls of MGH – Boston, where Cuddy is awaited for her appointment…_

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**** CHAPTER 61 ****

Lisa Cuddy was not a 'regular" patient; which meant, she wasn't awaited in Bill Russell's consult room like any other 'regular' patients. Instead, they had scheduled an appointment early in the afternoon so that Bill could see her in his office and spare her the inconvenience of having to sit in the crowded waiting area of his daily consult and until it was her turn. Cuddy hadn't especially requested that special treatment of favor but she had to admit that when House and she arrived at MGH a little after two, she was happy to have to skip the unnecessary administrative paperwork steps and directly move on to the appointment part of their visit instead. They hurried through the entrance hall and towards the nurse station. Cuddy approached and the nurse lifted her face when she reached the desk counter and greeted her with a warm smile.

"Good afternoon, Dr Cuddy." She said.

"Good Afternoon. Dr. Bill Russell is waiting for me." Cuddy answered, pointing her hand towards the hallways' maze behind the counter.

"Yes sure." The nurse nodded and she went back to her computer screen, therefore informing her that she had nothing to add.

Cuddy glanced at House and she started to head towards the elevators. House followed right behind her, and when he walked past the desk counter he spotted a jar filled with candies so he plunged his hand inside and grabbed a handful of sweeties, squinting mischievously at the nurse who had raised her face and was staring at him, bemused.

"I need sugar. Hypoglycemia." He announced with a theatrical face, and before she could answer anything, he limped away, speeding up his pace to catch Cuddy up.

Once at her level he handed a candy to her.

"You want one?" He asked her casually. She turned her head to the side, gave a glance at the content of his hand, and sent him a disapproving look.

"No, thanks. In case you don't know, it's supposed to be for the children."

He shrugged and took the candy out of its wrapping paper then he leaned towards her and conspicuously slid the cherry red bonbon into his mouth. "Yes, but I'm a BIG child." He told her, with an exaggerated pout.

Cuddy rolled her eyes just as they arrived at the elevators' doors. She pushed the up button and they waited in front of the steel door, in silence.

"You seem very familiar with this place." House suddenly said out of the blue, with a serious tone and an undecipherable expression on his face.

Cuddy's mouthed dropped open and she stared at him, visibly taken aback by his remark. At the exact same time, the elevator arrived and she took advantage of it to swiftly enter inside, thus avoiding answering him. He stepped in right after her while she pushed the 8th floor button.

"The nurse called you by your name," he carried on, looking straight ahead, "So I guess… uhm what? Second?… maybe third visit?" He jerked his head to the side and challenged her with his piercing blue eyes. She set her lips and lowered her face to the ground, looking embarrassingly at her shoes.

"Really?" He exclaimed, sounding a little upset, "more than three times?"

"What difference does that make?" She asked, in a low voice, looking up at him again.

"Hah! What difference? I think the answer you're expecting is 'probably none', right?" He puffed, sarcastically.

She took a step closer and put her hand on his shoulder, reassuringly.

"It's the fourth time I come here." She said, gently. "Do you feel better now that you know?"

He widened his eyes and smirked. "Wow! Fourth visit in a week? That guy must be a hell of a good doctor…"

She removed her hand from his arm and stared at him quizzically.

"So that's what it is?" She asked, sounding slightly annoyed. "You're just jealous because of the idea of me trusting another doctor…"

"It's not about trust…" He denied, through clenched teeth. "It's…" He turned to face her, visibly struggling against a gush of confusing emotions he was not used to deal with and sighed, resignedly, "Ok. I'm sorry… You're right. This is not my field anyway. I guess this is more logical for you to see a gynecologist."

She bit her lips and averted her gaze, uneasy.

"What?" He immediately asked, noticing her embarrassment and peering at her suspiciously.

"Bill is… not a gynecologist." She said sighing, as if she already knew this confession would get her into trouble. "He's an endocrinologist." She added and she raised her chin up, waiting for his stormy reaction.

At that exact moment, the elevator arrived and the door slowly slid open to the 8th floor. Although she was not very proud of herself in that very moment, Cuddy however seized this as an opportunity to escape and she promptly walked out, determinedly making her way into the hallway. House, on the other hand, stayed rooted to his spot and she heard him stuttered behind her back.

"What! An endo…cri…Hah! Is that what you're saying?" He shouted from inside the elevator.

Then immediately after, she heard the thudding sound of his cane hitting the floor violently while he caught her up. He grabbed her by the arm to make her stop and she turned around to face him. He was smirking cynically and shaking his head in astonishment.

"Is that what you're saying?" He repeated, "Your Bill guy is an endocrinologist?"

"He's not '_my_' Bill guy." She corrected him with a resolute tone.

"Whatever! You're telling me you entrusted your medical file to an _endocrinologist_? Excuse me if I've missed something here but why would you do that?" He exclaimed, his voice rising up a notch in anger.

She closed her eyes briefly in a desperate and useless attempt at brushing the growing stress caused by their discussion aside.

"Dammit! What is it? What are you not telling me?" He insisted, almost shouting.

"Don't yell" She pleaded, feeling the weight of people's gaze on her as they passed by in the hallway. She took a deep breath and came closer to House, wanting to hold him, wanting him to hold her, but instead she just confessed with a slight trembling voice. "I used to know Bill in Med School."

"Oh you _used to know_ him in Med School… yeah, great! Let's just celebrate!"

"That's not what you think. I barely knew him. But I ran into him in that medical conference in Seattle a few months ago and…"

She stopped in the middle of her sentence because of the glare House shot her which instantly made her blood run cold. He stared at her with a look of shock and she tried to come closer to touch his arm but he stepped back, aghast.

"You and that guy were in Seattle together?"

"No. We were not in Seattle _together_." She rectified, quite aggravated by his inappropriate innuendo, "He was there to deliver a speech and…"

"Why does it sound like you're justifying yourself?"

"I'm not justifying myself! God House this is ridiculous! Please, don't do this now… We're late. We have to go."

She started to walk away but after a few steps, it seemed evident that he was not following her. She stopped in her track and turned around to face him. He was standing in the middle of the hallway, perfectly immobile and intensely scrutinizing her, with a slight look of hurt on his face. She tried to suppress the distressed feeling she irrepressibly sensed growing inside of her and opted for an exasperated sigh instead.

"Oh Come on! What is wrong with you? Is it about last night? I told you he only _tried _to k…"

He started to move but most unexpectedly, he chose the opposite direction and headed back towards the elevator. The sight of him walking away from her so determinedly caused a shot of adrenalin to speed up her heart rate and the extra pounding beats took her breath away.

"House? House!" She called out, "What are you doing?" But strangely, she didn't even attempt to catch him up and just looked at him leave. He pressed the down button of the elevator and turned to face her.

"I'm outta here. Why would you need me anyway now that you have Bill your endocrinologist College buddy to take care of this?" He snapped.

With a perfect timing, the elevator arrived and he stepped inside, his silhouette soon vanishing behind the closing doors.

"And I'd probably smash his face if I'd ever come anywhere less than 5 feet near this asshole anyway." He muttered to himself while the car started to move off.

Lisa Cuddy suddenly felt painfully aware of her standing alone in the hallway when a random person involuntarily jostled her while walking past her. She kept staring at the elevator closed door for a few extra seconds, her mouth open and her eyes widened in disbelief, House's words still replaying in her head.

_Why would you need me anyway now that you have Bill your endocrinologist College buddy to take care of this?_

"_Because I love you, you moron"_, she replied to herself, with tears welling up in her eyes.

She perfunctorily pushed them back with the tip of her index and, without waiting any longer she started to head towards Bill's office to have her consult.

Alone.

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_**A/N**_

_So, as I said: I am very sorry to have been absent for some time now and with no warning at all, but I've been quite busy lately but most of all, I had to face a terrible virus attack on my computer last week that I only got completely fixed yesterday so I couldn't post any new chapter because I only got access to internet through my phone…_

_Anyway, everything's fine now and I'm so happy I could add a new chapter before the holidays…_

_Oh and also I want to make an announcement! I've learned that this story "If You Let Me, I Might Try" was nominated for a 2010 Rock The House Award!! O_O! Yes! in the "Relationship based fiction category - House and Cuddy pairing". And it's all THANKS TO YOU! because, I don't know how it happened… but someone out there, or maybe more than one, submitted my story for the nominations and I just want to shout out a HUGE THANKS to whoever did that!_

_This made me feel really honored…_

_So, if you want to know more about that you can go check my profile where I'll add a link to the rockthehouseawards site for you to have a look if you want._

_Anyway again: THANK YOU! that sure was an unexpected but thrilling Xmas gift! _

_And now that my computer is all good, you can expect another chapter much sooner… ;-)_

_Enjoy December! ~ maya_


	62. Chapter 62

_NEW CHAPTER! … because we couldn't possibly leave Cuddy all alone by herself, could we? :-)_

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** CHAPTER 62 **

As soon as House had gotten out of the elevator's car, he had limped all the way through the unfamiliar entrance hall to the exit front doors, with a determined pace, almost a stride, resolute to leave the building as fast as he could and find a nice bar where he could ponder his anger alone, seated in front of a glass of dry Jim Beam. But as soon as his hand reached the knob, he found himself incapable of pushing the door open and he just stayed there for a brief moment, looking outside through the glass door and breathing heavily, the fury somewhat still flowing in his veins, but slowly subsiding nonetheless.

He couldn't reasonably walk away like that and leave her alone, because she would need him to ride her back home, wouldn't she?... _Of course not! She can perfectly call a cab! She's a big girl and she doesn't need you_. House truly hated that, being in conflict with himself for some stupid irrational emotional reasons, especially when she was the center of it.

He promptly turned around and with a pace as determined as the one that had almost led him outside a few moments before, he walked back inside the hall, and towards the desk, where he called out the nurse without waiting to have her full attention.

"Do you have a cafeteria somewhere in this building?" He asked, with a voice near the sound of a bark.

The nurse raised her face to him and shot him a "Duh!" face as if he had asked her if Boston was still on the East coast.

"I guess it means that you have," House carried on, his voice toning down a little and his face softening as well. "Well can you tell me where it is? ... Please."

The nurse vaguely gestured towards her left. "That way" She said, not willing to give the weird cranky man too many details and make it easy for him to find the place. House smirked exaggeratedly, showing he had gotten the payback sarcasm.

"Thank you!" He said. And he started to head in the direction she had pointed.

A few minutes later, after an uncertain search which took him straight into the right hallway out of sheer luck, he ended in the cafeteria, a rather large hall painted in pastel colors. He ordered a double espresso and found a table in an empty corner where he could have some peace. He sat down and drank a few sips of the burning hot black liquid, scalding his tongue in the process, but not really caring about it. He thought that if he'd had some whiskey in a flask, he'd have poured some in his Styrofoam cup and made himself a soothing Irish coffee.

When he'd drunk half of his cup, it began really hard for him to keep on pretending he could only focus on his beverage. Instead, his mind started to get invaded by overwhelming images of _her_, standing in the middle of that 8th floor hallway, looking lost and confused but so adorable in her coat, and stoned-washed jeans: the kind of clothes she was not wearing very often but which gave her the touching appearance of a teenager. He pictured her face, her lips, slightly pouting in bafflement, her cheeks, still flushed by the bracing effect of the ride, and her light grey eyes, widened in shock, staring at his silhouette vanishing inside the elevator.

Was it actually possible to be worse than the total ass he'd been with her up there?

Gee! What was wrong with him? When had the ever well balanced famous rational mind of Gregory House started to be driven by emotional stupid groundless impulses?

_Groundless? Maybe yes…__ no, not even maybe… SURELY yes… how could he doubt her? But that son of a bitch… _

Well ok, he had to admit it: he really didn't like that Bill guy. At all. From the very first moment on, when Dana had mentioned him and Lisa having dinner together, he'd felt an uneasiness inside his gut, growing bigger and bigger within each new appearance or mention of the bastard. First, he had taken her to dinner, then he had tried to kiss her… and yet, House was ready to possibly forget that and not totally hold him responsible for having at least taken a chance, because ultimately, it proved he had good tastes. That's how he was ready to view things, when he was really, really trying…

But just the mere thought of him being in the same room as her, probably sharing meals, sitting side by side… during that conference in Seattle… several days… Was it back then that they'd gotten close? Was it the reason why she had ran in Boston? Was it why she'd asked _him_ to handle her case?

_Groundless__ impulses? Hah!... certainly not!... because damn! It had hurt… _

And he hadn't seen it coming. Not that way. Not that strong. He'd been completely taken by surprise by the wrenching sensation that had left him knock out and breathless as if he had been punched in the liver.

_Jealousy. Dammit! The worst useless stupid mind-numbing invention of mankind!_

And suddenly, finally, he pictured himself, seated in that unfamiliar corner of that unfamiliar cafeteria, grumbling about irrelevant facts while the only thing that mattered was a woman, left alone in a room to face a threatening distressing situation without his support. The woman he loved. Struck by this evidence, more important than any other, it took him less than a second to realize that he was not where he should be. With her. No matter what he thought, no matter how he felt. He jerked off his chair, leaving his half empty cup of coffee on the table, and he limped out of the cafeteria as fast as he could, heading back to the entrance hall and then striding towards the main elevators. Once on the 8th floor, he took a short pause to catch his breath and think. He didn't even know where she was and he stopped a young woman, the first person he saw walking in a coat and asked her where Bill Russell's office was. A chance that she'd had the time to explain him where she would have her appointment. The woman began to indicate House the direction and how to find the office, but before she'd even finished her explanation, he hastily thanked her and walked away, leaving her dumbfounded.

After what seemed to him like an endless walk into endless hallways, one left turn and two to the right, he finally arrived in front of Bill's office door. There was no mistake possible since it was written on a nameplate hang on the wall beside the door.

Bill Russell, MD

Endocrinologist

Department of Research in Molecular Biology

House stared at the plaque, a little bit unnerved. _Department of Research?_ He wasn't expecting that one surprising detail either. He set his lips and swallowed back his annoyance, or maybe his pride, spurring himself on focusing on the only priority that mattered: her. He took a deep breath and put his hand on the knob and then he did the only thing that his guilt and self-conscious mind suggested him to do in that instant: he stormed inside the office without even bother to knock first.

He ended up facing a desk behind which a man, which he assumed was Bill Russell, was seated. He didn't waste his time studying him, although the quick glance he gave him let him the impression of a man, who would probably be qualified as handsome by most females. It annoyed him, of course, but he tried not to let it upset him too much. It wasn't the purpose anyway, because as soon as he'd stepped in, his gaze had been irrepressibly drawn to _her_.

She was seated on the other side of the desk, her legs crossed, her hands rested on her lap, her fingers nervously intertwined and her shoulders undoubtedly tense. He'd noticed those little details about her in the split second which preceded the moment when she turned around to face the intruder, only to realize it was him. Her mouth dropped open and she stared at him dazed, but he could have sworn he'd seen a slight smile flickered on her lips. Or was it because he wanted to convince himself so much of the existence of that smile?

He took a few more steps inside and came at her side, his eyes locked within hers.

"Oh great, I see you're not topless yet! So I guess it means I haven't missed the good part!"

Cuddy's mouth dropped open, but it seems like no sound could come out of it. Bill carefully walked round the desk and he came near House, making sure that he would not be able to approach Cuddy any closer.

"Lisa?" He interrogated, closely watching House and clearly in the need of more explanation.

His voice seems to jolt Cuddy out of her stunned surprised and she briefly put a reassuring hand on Bill's forearm.

"That's ok Bill, I know him." She said, incapable of taking her eyes off of House.

"Of course you know me!" House exclaimed "Otherwise that would be just creepy, right? But maybe you should introduce me to the doctor here. I think I may have scared a little…"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at House and she took a deep breath, obviously trying to stay as calm as the situation allowed her to be. House was waiting in front of her, openly challenging her, so she raised her chin up to him and cleared her throat.

"Well Bill, this is… Dr. Gregory House… he's uhm…"

"Oh come on!" House puffed, with a perfect smartass tone, "You don't have to specify that I'm a doctor _too_, it's weird. You make it sound like I'm here to double check _your_ doctor's medical conclusions." He turned to face Bill "She's so shy! She doesn't dare to say I'm here as her lover-boy. Oh and sorry! Gregory House." He added, putting out his hand, "_very nice_ to meet you, Bart."

"It's Bill." The man corrected him, sounding like he already perfectly knew that this little clarification was totally pointless.

"Don't worry, I won't disturb you, I promise. I just came to eye up the twins… I know it sounds crazy, cuz I just had them both right inside my hands this morning… actually one in my hand and one in my…

"House!"

"What? I'm just warning Dr. Bob here about the possible hickey. I don't want it to mislead him into making the wrong diagnosis…"

Cuddy promptly got up and she seized House by the arm, compellingly tugging him towards the exit.

"Will you excuse us _Bill_?" She said, under stressing the name of the physician and shooting House a fuming glare, "Greg and I need to…"

By the time she was about to end her sentence they'd reached the door. House grabbed the knob and opened it, docilely preceding her into the hallway and saving her the embarrassment of having to find a formula which wouldn't sound too much strange. Cuddy stepped outside as well and closed the door behind her, a little more violently than she'd have wished. Before the two of them were out of the room Bill had barely been able to give them an approving nod, still not quite sure about the best way to react, somewhat dumbfounded since the moment when House had made his theatrical and unexpected entry in his office.

"Can you explain what the fuck is happening here?" Cuddy hissed through clenched teeth as soon as the door was closed, looking around her to find an entrenched corner to hide their upcoming argument decently.

She spotted the door to the staircase right in front of them and yanked House in that direction. But he resisted and froze in the middle of the hallway, forcing her to stop. She turned around and stared at him with furious glittering eyes.

"I'm an ass." He answered, sheepishly looking down at his feet.

She had to take an extra puff of air to stomach this completely unexpected confession. She'd thought they would argue, and though it was not what she wanted, she was at least determined to make him realize how awfully wrong and hurtful his reaction had been. But she had not expected that. Now that they were just the two of them, she could see House was undeniably feeling guilty and that the look on his face was not self-righteous at all. He was not proud of himself and she couldn't pretend to be blind and not see it.

"Sure you are." She said angrily, while inside of her she was already softening a little, "Like this is big news!"

"But I'm here now."

"You dumped me; just when I needed you the most to be here with me!"

House raised his head and in an instant, the little sparkle of mischief was back behind his eyes. He cautiously took a step towards her and seized her by the sleeve, tugging gently at the cloth to bring her closer.

"You need me here with you?" He asked, playing the perfect jerk and winding one arm around her waist.

She closed her left fist into a ball and hit him hard onto his chest.

"Don't play dense with me!" She warned him, but she didn't try to escape his embrace. "What's that fuss all about anyway?"

"I don't like Bill the endocrinologist." He confessed bluntly with a pouting face.

She puffed and her eyes widened in a sort of flabbergasted surprise.

"And what does it have to do with the purpose of us being here?"

"Maybe nothing but I thought you should know!" He grumbled sulkily.

She scrutinized him and narrowed her eyes, wondering whether she should allow herself to smile yet or just make him suffer a little longer. But while her mind was still debating, her heart decided for her and her lips curled up into an irresistible fond smile.

"You're stupid!" She stated. "Bill was there when I first came here a week ago to find a doctor for a consult. I bumped into him completely by chance. I was…" She took a deep breath and averted her gaze for a split second, "lost and he was… familiar…"

House sighed, feeling inwardly ridden of all his irrational doubts. However, being the complete jerk he was, he couldn't help but push it a little further to the edge.

"Did you sleep with him?" He asked her sassily.

"What?!" She instantly stiffened in his arms, "You are NOT actually asking me that for real, are you?" She exclaimed, outraged.

He tightened his embrace and maintained her close against him.

"Well, technically, I'm not… asking _for real_, but… what if I needed to hear it… you know… just for the sake of it…"

His smile was desperately trying to be self-confident and provoking, but deep underneath his jerky attitude, she saw that small part of him that was really asking, a part of him that was still unsure and afraid. Of losing her. She felt a pang of sadness clutching her heart. Yes, they would both need time to heal their wounds… She relaxed in his arms and put her hands on his shoulders, and then she lifted her face up to meet his gaze and planted her steel-grey eyes in his.

"Maybe for _my own_ sake, I should have… because then, I wouldn't be stuck with you…"

"You're stuck with me?" He asked, his smile slowly finding his mischief back again.

"Well, you're an ass, but… as sadly as it is, I love _you_… and sex with you is…hmm… not that bad… so, I am trapped!" She answered, holding back her chuckle.

He enclosed her tighter in his arms and leaned down to her face. He stopped just inches away from her lips and stared at her confidently.

"Sex with me is _amazing_…" He rectified with a coy smile, pressing on the small of her back to bring her close to his hips.

Reacting to the hoarse sound of his voice, as well as the lustful closeness of his body along hers, she immediately felt a dangerous shiver running down her spine. Taking aback by this inappropriate lost of self-control she promptly freed herself from his embrace and took a step back.

"Anyway! This is not the point," she said, slightly short of breath, "because if you remember, I was having an appointment before you suddenly barged into the room, so… if you don't mind…"

And she turned on her heels to head back to Bill's office. But before she had taken the first step away, he seized her by the wrist and brought her back against him. She fell into his arms and opened her mouth to protest but he cupped her face inside his hands and compellingly silenced her with an intense stare.

"I'm sorry." He groaned with a husky voice.

She took a sharp breath and stared at him back, enthralled by all the unsaid words lying underneath his gaze. How was he doing that? Being an absolute a$s but making it impossible for her to hate him? She attempted to shot him an angry glare but didn't quite manage to make it a convincing one since she was already helplessly and willingly won over. Once more.

"But I'll be your sex slave, if you want, to make it up to you…" He added with a devilish grin.

She laughed and rose on her tiptoes to kiss him. She nibbled gently at his bottom lips and then slowly drew apart.

"Yeah, yeah… we'll see about that." She teased and then she turned around and headed back towards the office again. "Come on, Bill must be waiting."

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A/N

the Xmas holidays are here and I am on vacation!… I plan on resting… as much as I can… but most of all, I plan on WRITING! So don't go anywhere because this story is NOT over… :-)

have a GREAT time! And above all: KEEP YOUR HUDDY FAITH! ~ maya

_ps: I'll post the next chapter before the end of the week…_


	63. Chapter 63

_**HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE**_

_**be wild, be in love, be alive! ENJOY AND DARE TO DREAM… that's the best way to get them fulfilled ;-)**_

_Here's the new chapter… medical, because, if you remember, Cuddy had an appointment in MGH for a reason… and it's time to find out…_

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**** CHAPTER 63 ****

They stepped into the office side by side and Bill, who was seated behind his desk, back to reading some files, jumped in his chair at the sound of his door being open. He squinted at Lisa first, conspicuously avoiding House's gaze and interrogating her instead about the ongoing situation.

"Are you okay?" He asked cautiously, not really knowing at that point if she had willingly participated to everything he had witnessed.

Cuddy sent him a wide reassuring smile and walked towards the desk.

"Yes. I'm fine. Thank you. Just a little…" she waved her hand in the air, "thing, Greg and I had to discuss. But now we're good. Sorry we made you wait."

"Well…uh… that's… okay." Bill muttered a bit puzzled.

Cuddy sat back in the chair where she was previously seated. House who had followed her, remained standing behind her, and he enveloped her shoulders with his hands in a possessive confident gesture, staring at Bill on the other side of the desk with an almost "private property – keep out" warning gaze. Cuddy feeling House's touch on her instinctively covered his right hand with her left one and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"You should sit down" She whispered to him, tilting her head back to meet his gaze. "Your leg…"

"I'm fine." House's immediately interrupted her, staring obstinately at Bill for another few lingering seconds; then he lowered his gaze and smiled at her, slowly sliding his hand from her shoulder to the crook of her neck, giving it a light caress with the tip his thumb before letting go of his grab and stepping aside to sit down on the chair beside her.

Bill took a green folder on his desk, glanced at House and Cuddy one after the other and then cleared his throat.

"Well, as I was saying to Lisa, before… uh… that small interruption… we have her latest test results. They show no abnormality so we now can be reassured. First of all, and thankfully, we ruled out cancer."

House tried to not wince too noticeably at the constant use of the pronoun "we", which was incredibly annoying to him and made him want to punch Bill right in the middle of his face and smash his nose. Instead, he absorbed himself in the first real medical information he heard on Cuddy's case since the first moment she'd told him about her lump. His eagerness to finally learn more and be able to fill in all the blanks that have been left empty was almost aching but he stiffened in his chair to repress his nervousness and set his lips.

"We double checked her CA15-3 and ACE levels and…" Bill went on, unaware of House's impalpable edgy attitude.

"Why would you check Cancer Antigen if this is not cancer?" House interrupted with a bit of suspicion in his voice, incapable of remaining passively silent one more second.

"We wouldn't take any chances." Bill answered, "We did an ultrasound first but the result weren't conclusive enough. The mass didn't looked fluid filled but it rather seemed to point an atypical ductal hyperplasia…"

"So you did a biopsy?" House interrupted him again, almost worriedly.

"No. Biopsy is invasive. Lisa suggested the reasonable approach first. We had her mammogram and the result of the ultrasound, testing blood seemed enough, and moreover, it could authorize a lot more related tests. We chose …"

House turned his head in her direction and they silently locked eyes for a brief moment. He opened his mouth but Cuddy knowing his susceptibility and the sensitiveness of the topic, reached out her hand and touched his arm.

"Greg…" she said gently before he could speak. "I know testing for CA15-3 marker is not the standard procedure at this early stage but it has the widest range of accuracy to point any other kind of benign breast diseases." She told him.

House then turned to face Bill and he looked at him almost angrily as if he was accusing him of not being able to convince her to do the right things but instead let her follow some stupid, stubborn and thoughtless intuition he would never have allowed if he'd been the one who had taken care of her. She knew him and she knew him well. And so she guessed exactly what he was thinking about and before he could say anything, she squinted at him with a challenging look.

"Don't you dare tell me I'm wrong," she silenced him, "Maybe you don't like it that way, but this is exactly the kind of test you'd have done."

He narrowed his eyes and she held her chin up to sustain his gaze, until he finally yielded and tipped his head to the side to look back at Bill.

"Lisa is right," the physician said with a resolute tone, "there're plenty of other breast benign affections that can be pointed by this test, like mammary dysplasia or fibro adenoma..."

The file that Bill was holding undoubtedly contained the final results and unconsciously, House couldn't keep his eyes off of it, intensely staring at it, even if from where he was seated, it was impossible for him to decipher any of its content. Bill didn't pay attention to House sudden obsessive focus on his waving hand, too conceitedly happy to have regained a little power in the verbal exchange by being the one who was holding the information. Cuddy, however, didn't fail to notice House's attention and she interrupted Bill to ask him the document. He docilely handed her the file and she took it but first kept it close against her chest without opening it and then she jerked her head to the side and stared at House. House's eyes having mechanically followed the file's trajectory, locked with hers and for a brief but timeless moment, it felt as if they were alone in the room. Just him and her, and a green file. Cuddy narrowed her eyes and House's breath went short.

"You want to have a look at it?" She asked, suddenly tantalizingly handing him the file.

House paused for a moment, scrutinizing her and visibly contemplating his options, not daring to ask if she was jerking him around because she was still mad at him that he'd left her alone earlier or if she was really serious. Cuddy waited a few seconds, and imperceptibly raised her eyebrows in disbelief, surprised by House's lack of reaction but she didn't insist and took the file back.

"Ok." She simply said, without any further comment but with a slight disappointment in her voice.

The tone of her voice seemed to bring House back to his real priority and he swiftly leaned forward to snatch the folder out of her hands.

"No, gimme!" He said, opening the file and sending her a defying stare, before lowering his eyes down to the folder, avidly browsing the content of the pages.

"CA15-3's level is at 38." He immediately remarked, his eyes intently scanning the list of results. He didn't bother confronting Bill about it, and chose to conspicuously ignore him instead. He however turned to face Cuddy and interrogated her with a quizzical look within which laid a question they both perfectly understood without word.

"I know what you're thinking House," She said with an intense piercing gaze, "but I'm not pregnant, if that's what you're afraid of."

"I'm not afraid of you being pregnant," He corrected, though, even if he wouldn't admit it, his heart had skipped a beat or two at the rare but yet possible cause of an increased level of the marker in that very specific case, "I'm just concerned about a level which is slightly above the normal expected unity."

"Oh no, don't worry," Bill exclaimed with an almost childish voice, desperately calling back for attention, "We checked Lisa's HCG level and they're not indicating any sign of pregnancy. You don't have to fear a baby…" At the sight of House's virulent glare, Bill realized, but a little too late, that his way of phrasing the news was rather inappropriate.

"Thank you _Bill_," House snapped with a stern voice, imperceptibly clutching hold of his thigh, "but this is not about me fearing anything or any_one_. All I'm saying is that the CA15-3 marker is not as it should be. And as a doctor, I know I would want to know why… "

"Which is exactly why we did an MRI…"

House promptly flipped through the pages and his eyes stopped on the contrasted colored images taken during the exam. He then raised his face with a dumbfounded look and stared quizzically at Bill and Lisa one after the other.

"There is nothing on the screen captures of this MRI." He said, visibly puzzled. He glanced again at Lisa who shyly smiled at him and he turned his head towards Bill. "Are you sure you've examined the right breast?"

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry but neither mammary dysplasia nor fibro adenoma can be there one day and disappeared the next one…" House stated, still looking at Bill.

"No, but cysts can."

"You said the mass wasn't fluid filled…"

"I said it didn't _look_ fluid filled. I guess it was a misreading of the ultrasound images. They can sometimes make certain areas look darker on the screen than they really are."

House pondered Bill's explanation for a few more seconds, intensely scrutinizing the handsome smug doctor who annoyed him so much, wondering if he should really trust his judgment at this point. However, as much as he hated to admit it, his reasoning made sense, so he turned his head towards Cuddy and studied her smiling face with a cautious expression.

"So this is it?" He asked, "That was just a cyst?"

"Yes," Cuddy confirmed, "it was just a cyst and now it's gone; just as it occurs in half the cases."

"What about atypical ductal hyperplasia?" House insisted, refusing to allow himself to feel complete relief and unconsciously denying logic.

Cuddy looked at him with a soft reassuring face.

"I think that, if the MRI images showed _nothing_, then it simply means that there is… _nothing_" She told him gently. "Bill was about to do a CBE to confirm when you arrived."

"Yes!" Bill said, "All we need to do now is a clinical breast exam, which I'm sure will lead to that same reassuring conclusion that there is nothing to worry about anymore."

He stood up and so did Cuddy as well. She walked towards a door behind his desk that Bill opened for her and which revealed an outer office that looked like an informal small laboratory, equipped to be used as an exam room. When House saw her disappeared in that cold and impersonal environment, he promptly got up too and hurried to join her inside. He passed in front of Bill who was still standing at the door, and he noticed, quite very childishly that he was a little bit taller than him so he stuck out his chest and limped past him proudly.

"Just wait for me for a few minutes, I have a phone call to make and then we'll do the CBE." Bill said to Lisa before he closed the door.

Inside the room, Cuddy sat down on the exam table and mechanically took her shirt off. She pointed to a coat rack where a hospital gown was hanging.

"Can you hand me the gown, please" She said to House.

He looked at her, bare-chested, and he promptly took the gown and gave it to her so she can cover herself while waiting for Bill to come back. She put it on and crisscrossed the tails in front of her chest without tying the laces. House observed her silently and he suddenly felt a little annoyed and upset. That same morning, just as he had previously bragged about when he'd come to Bill's office, he had held her breasts in his hands; but now he couldn't even remember if he had noticed anything unusual about them and how they have felt under his touch. He was desperately trying to focus his mind back on the impression, trying to recall if he had sensed any mass or lump, but all he could bring back was the lustful memory of how tender and warm her skin was inside the palm of his hands. He heaved a heavy sigh, somewhat angry at himself for being so easily weakened and distracted by a pair of boobs… but _her_ pair of boobs… that surely was a good reason to lose the sense of reality just once in a while… and now Bill was going to touch these boobs? Uh-ho, no way in hell he could just stand there and watch that happening! He couldn't help clenching his jaws and an involuntary low groan escaped his throat.

"House? Are you okay?" Cuddy's voice jolted him awake and he turned to look at her.

"I can do the breast exam myself." He said a little sheepishly.

"Nooo, please, don't do that." She sighed and raised her hand to touch his cheek. "We had an agreement: no clinical touch of my breasts."

"We never made such agreement!" He tried to protest unconvincingly.

"Please…"

He set his lips and averted his gaze, and then he half-heartedly nodded his approval and looked down at his feet.

"Ok." He mumbled, "But if that guy is keeping his hands where they shouldn't…"

"House stop!"

He limped in front of her and made his way between her legs to come closer to the edge of the table on which she was seated. He sighed resignedly and covered her shoulders with his large hands, staring intensely into her eyes.

"Are you guys ready?" Bill said, suddenly stepping in the room.

House almost imperceptibly jumped and he removed his hands from Cuddy's shoulders, and then took a few steps back to move away from the table, his eyes still locked with hers. Cuddy straightened on the exam table where she was seated and took her eyes off of House to look at Bill. He came in front of her and stood where House was a few seconds before. Cuddy tipped her head to the side and gave him a quick glance. House's gaze was undecipherable but he was undeniably staring at her, and she thought she'd seen a slight look of sadness behind his eyes. She took a sharp breath and spread the gown open.

"Bend your arm behind your head, please." Bill instructed.

House clenched his jaws and gripped his cane handle tighter while he watched the man put his hand on her breast and thoroughly palpating her silky skin. He closed his eyes briefly and when he re-opened them, he forced himself to focus his gaze on her face. She was unconsciously biting her bottom lips a little and he could read all her obvious discomfort while the hand of the man continued to search around her nipple area, plopping his fingertips around the areola and slowly pressing the flesh to detect any abnormal lump underneath. Did she sense the intensity of his gaze on her? Maybe, because suddenly, with no particular reason, she turned her head in his direction and she looked him in the eyes. House saw her gulp and it made him want to jump near her and throw the unwanted doctor away from her to take her in his arms, but it was not an option. So he pretended to smile instead and he continued to stare at her, offering through the intensity of his piercing blue gaze the only anchor he had for her to cling on to.

"Nothing here." The voice of Bill echoed into the room.

A shy smile flickered on Cuddy's lips and House answered her with an encouraging nod. She took a deep breath and lifted her other arm up to help carrying on with the breast examination procedure. Bill proceeded to the clinical exam with as much care as he had with her other breast, conscientiously touching every area that needed to be examined, from her nipple to her armpit, following the inner and outer curves of her breast with his fingers.

Then, finally, after what probably were only short minutes, but looked like hours, he removed his hand from her chest and took a step back.

"Everything seems fine to me!" He declared enthusiastically.

"Seems?" House provoked, stepping closer to Cuddy who had crossed the gown on her breast again to cover herself.

Bill turned to House and looked him intensely in the eyes, with an intrigued puzzled look on his face, incapable of not wondering about what kind of man he was really dealing with since the moment House had stepped inside his office but visibly still unable to find a rational answer to that question.

"No, of course, I mean everything IS fine. There is no trace of lump or abnormal mass anymore." He said assertively, sustaining House's stare.

"Really?" Cuddy asked with an unsure whispering voice.

"Yes Lisa. You're fine." Bill confirmed the good news to her with a reassuring smile.

Then he told her she could get dressed, while he was going in his office where he would write his medical conclusions about this latest exam to complete her file. He gave her a last warm smile, and then a manly nod to House before leaving them alone in the room. Cuddy quickly put her bra back then her shirt that she buttoned up, while looking at House with a relieved smile.

"See?" She told him with a soft voice, "I told you I was fine."

He helped her climb down the exam table and welcomed her in his arms.

"Don't get smart with me, cute butt" He said, narrowing his eyes down to her and enclosing her against him. "You weren't all that sure, just a minute ago."

"I…" Cuddy started to protest but House grabbed her jaws and promptly silenced her with a kiss. When he drew apart, she looked at him with wide-opened interrogative eyes.

"Too much talking, not enough kissing… You know you really need to learn when to shut up." He explained with a roguish smile.

"Ha!" She exclaimed, amused "Look who's trying to get smart now! YOU were not all that sure yourself…"

"Yeah well, let's drop it" House said, with a sudden seriousness, cutting the banter off, and looking away. Cuddy bit her lips, understanding how prickly it still was for both of them to admit their fears to each others, even now that the threatening shadow had disappeared from their horizon.

"We'll test your blood for CA15-3 as soon as possible and then…" House started to say with gravity.

"No." Cuddy objected, firmly. "I don't want to do any more exams…"

"But your level is 38!" House exclaimed, as if it was enough good a reason to stop discussing the subject any further.

"_Was_," she corrected, "The blood sample was taken last week, when I still had the lump. The slight elevation was due to the cyst, and now that it's gone, the level should be fine…"

"Should be, but not 'IS', because you're not sure… so what difference does it make? It's just a blood sample."

"No!" She said again stubbornly, staring into his eyes, "You're worrying too much. It's unnecessary, and you know it. You saw the MRI images, and you heard Bill just like me: there is no lump anymore in my breast. I'm fine. Please, Greg, I had NO other symptoms except the lump and the lump is gone!" She came closer to him and snuggled up in his arms, and then she looked up at him with fond eyes and raised her hand to caress his jaw. "I know what's bothering you," She said gently and she felt his jaw clenching inside the palm of her hand while his gaze darkened slightly, "You've watched everything from an upstaged position, without being involved and now you're forced to rely on another doctor's conclusion. And you hate that you're not the one who checked everything yourself, I know. But you have to accept the facts for what they are… rationally." She stretched her neck as much as she could to bring her face close to his and she lightly rubbed her chin onto his stubble. He sighed and she smiled, reassured.

"Fine," he mumbled, stepping back a little to look at her better, "if that's what you want then no more tests."

"Thank you." She whispered softly. "Now, let's get my medical file back and then take me away from here" She added before heading to the door.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_I hope your holidays were great! Personally, I think they can never last long enough, LOL! _

_Tomorrow I'll be back to work, but surprisingly, that's when I tend to get busy that I happily keep doing more, so while I'd promised to write during Xmas hiatus but shamefully have to confess that I did pretty much nothing… I might get back on track more efficiently now! :-) _

…_although, I have written a one-shot, called "His Last Chance" that I've posted here before new year's eve and I'd be very happy if you'd check it… _

_Anyway, I've missed you, and I wish you'd be all back around here… _

_Cuz hey! Where ARE YOU? :-D _

_best new year's wishes ~ maya_


	64. Chapter 64

_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER!_

_Where the key word will be: LOOSEN THE STRESS, because time has come for House and Cuddy to release the tension and have fun, don't you think? … at least, that's what House strongly plans on doing…_

* * *

**~~ CHAPTER 64 ~~**

The cool breeze hit their face as soon as they stepped outside the unfamiliar hospital. Cuddy shivered and House instinctively wrapped his arm around her shoulder to bring her close to him. She stopped and abandoned herself in his embrace. He promptly hooked his cane's handle to his forearm to free his hand and enfold her completely. She snuggled up in his chest and he caressed her hair gently.

"Are you ok?" He asked, knowing her too well to take her previous shudder only as a reaction to the cold.

She took a deep breath and tipped her head up.

"Yeah, I'm ok." She answered with an unsure voice.

He held her chin up with his thumb and narrowed his eyes to study her. She was bravely sustaining his inquiring gaze, a sheepish smile on her perfect lips. Her eyes were moist and he couldn't pretend not to see it. It took him a lot of self-control not to yield to the irrepressible need to question her, but he controlled it and just leaned down to put a soft kiss on her pouting mouth instead.

"Alright," he said "let's go then." And, letting go of his embrace, he decidedly headed towards the bike. She stayed rooted to her spot, a little baffled, for a split second and then she followed after him.

"You don't believe me." She told him as soon as she joined him.

"Nope!" He answered, as spontaneously as it was evident for him, "But you know what?"

"What?" she asked, a little short of breath and already worried about the price it might cost her if Gregory House, the rational truth hunter man, suddenly decided that he wanted to find out what she was hiding to him; because she had no explanation to give him. She'd even be very bothered if he'd ask her because she wouldn't know what to say. She was fine, House was here, and everything was just… great. No, she had no rational explanation to give.

He came close to her in one swift long pace and took her face in his large hands.

"It doesn't matter," he announced with a smile, "because I know exactly what you need to feel better."

"What!, But I'm fine…" She tried to deny stubbornly, not really knowing what she had to protest against at that point.

"No you're not! But that's ok," He carried on, still cradling her cheeks inside his palms, "that's normal… What you feel now is only a natural reaction: there's no threat to face anymore, the struggle is over; you just don't know how to get rid of all the tension and stress you've felt this past couple of weeks."

"I… but…" She stuttered, amazed by his perfect calm and reassuring logic.

"Shhh!" He silenced her with a mischievous grin, "I have the perfect cure for you. Just hop on that bike…"

She frowned when she suddenly understood what he was undeniably talking about.

"We're going back to my parents'." She warned him with a steady voice.

"No. I think we gave enough of our show to your parents for the day but since you're in serious need of some relaxing humpin' bumpin', I'm taking you to the hotel."

"Wh… House, no! My parents are waiting for us for dinner."

He looked at her mockingly but with tender eyes.

"In case you didn't notice, it's only 3pm. Nobody's having dinner right now, except maybe in Europe, and even there, who knows what they're really doing anyway…"

"But I still need to pack some of my stuff." She tried to defend herself, with a sheepish unconvincing voice that made him smile wider.

"It's either that or I'll talk about sex all the time during dinner until you turn crimson red and wish to never see your parents again for the next thirty years." He threatened with a serious face. She burst into laughter, already relaxing in his arms.

"Are you blackmailing me?" She asked, chuckling.

"Yep!"

She took a step back and playfully looked him up and down, lingering her gaze in all the good places and arching her eyebrows in a teasing expert manner.

"Ok cow boy" She said, with a sudden hoarse voice, "but make it fast, because I don't want to be late for dinner, I'm already hungry…"

He handed her the helmet and intensely peered at her.

"Oh yes, you are…" He said, with a greedy smile.

* * *

They headed towards Back Bay again but while they were riding into the historic downtown Boston, House stopped the bike in School street and took his helmet off, turning around towards her with an inquiring look.

"What do you say?" He asked, pointing at the impressive and elegant porch of the hotel with his chin.

Cuddy smiled and squeezed his waist tighter.

"You booked a room in the Omni Parker House?" She said, visibly enchanted by his choice.

"Not yet! But I was thinking if we enjoy having sex there now, we could probably keep the room for the whole night too, so… Are you gonna like shagging me in this hotel, or do you want me to find us another place?"

As a unique answer, she smacked him on his shoulder blade, with a fake indignant look, but she couldn't repressed the fond smile that irrepressibly drew on her lips nonetheless, melting at the very idea that it was probably part of a well thought-out plan to take her there, knowing her enough to be sure that she would love the place. A little while later, they were entering the hall, passing through the sculpted bronze doors of the luxury hotel as they walked towards the reception desk.

Immediately a young woman approached and welcomed them with an irreproachable smile.

"May I help you sir?"

"Yes, we would like a room, please." House said with a beaming smile, winding his arms around Cuddy's waist and bringing her close to him. She wriggled to set herself free, a little embarrassed, but he squeezed her tighter, possessively, and she stopped resisting, resting an elbow on the counter.

The receptionist, who hasn't failed to notice the lack of luggage, imperceptibly frowned, but she faked to ignore the innuendo and carried on with the same perfect smile.

"Of course! How long do you plan on staying, sir?"

The game was too tempting for House and he couldn't hold himself back. He turned towards Cuddy and devoured her with an undressing greedy stare.

"What do you say, pussycat?" He asked, with an undeniably roguish smile, "You still look a little tense. I think you need two rounds, minimum."

Cuddy shot him a fuming glare and immediately took a step back. House enjoyed her shocked look and smiled widely at her, and then he slowly turned back towards the girl behind the counter, who looked totally flabbergasted.

"I'm not quite sure if that look meant she wants more than two rounds or just one… what do you think?" He asked her, keeping an absolute serious face, perfectly hiding how much he was getting his kick out of this situation.

"Sir," The receptionist said, not really knowing how to phrase this without slipping into unknown shameful territory "Omni Parker House Hotel is not…"

Cuddy buried her face in her hand for a brief moment, enough for her to recover from this utterly uncomfortable moment then she straightened herself up and cleared her throat, even managing to display an almost self-confident smile, while determinedly pushing House away from the desk to come close at the same time.

"My husband is kidding," She said with a new-found assertiveness, "We plan on staying over the night. Our flight back home is scheduled tomorrow, so we would like to book a room for _tonight_." She added under stressing the word to erase any remaining doubts from the woman's baffled face.

And it seemed to work well enough since the woman lowered her gaze, suddenly feeling uneasy for the awful things she had implied.

"Yes certainly, I'm sorry, Mrs.… uh Mrs.?..."

Cuddy gaped, taken aback by the question, and without thinking, she leaned forward and announced: "Mrs. Smith... Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

She quite instantly heard House stifle a cough beside her and she clenched her jaws, refusing to turn her head towards him and meet his eyes, when she perfectly already knew what kind of triumphant mocking look he would give her in that moment. The young woman's eyes widened almost unnoticeably at the mention of the name but, after having checked in the reservation book, she went to retrieve a key. She came back and held it to Cuddy.

"There, Mrs Smith. Room 729. It's on the seventh floor. Elevators are right ahead of you, at the end of the hallway."

"Thank you." Cuddy said, taking the key and handing it to House with a quick warning glance. "Let's go." She mumbled to him, barely opening her mouth.

She took a step away from the counter, but the young woman called her back with a concerned voice.

"Don't you have any luggage you want us to carry to your room, Mrs.?" She asked.

Cuddy froze on her way out and took a deep breath. She turned around and displayed her most convincing smile as she started to explain.

"No. I mean… Not _yet_. Right now, they're… uhh… at my parents'. We're going there for dinner and then uhh we'll be back with my lugg…" She bit her lips and took a sharp breath "I mean, my parents' and I are in very good terms! We're only taking this hotel room because it's conveniently closer to the airport, but I can assure…"

House's mouth was wide open and he was staring at her so intensely that it looked as if his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He promptly grabbed her by the shoulders and compellingly walked her away from the desk.

"Alright, alright, alright!" He said, desperately trying not to burst into laughter, "I don't think this young lady needs to hear any more details about your parents or anything else, for that matter." He glanced over his shoulder and gave a knowing look at the woman behind the desk, who was staring at them, appalled. He waved the key in the air towards her and discreetly mouthed a "thank you" while hurriedly taking Cuddy away.

They arrived at the elevators doors and once they stepped inside the car, House couldn't repress it any longer. He looked at her with an amazed tender face and the sound of his hoarse most spontaneous genuine laughter filled every inch of space around them. Cuddy pouted, upset, and she turned towards him to hit his chest with her clenched fist

"House! Stop! This is NOT funny! House! You!... _you_…"

The elevator reached the seventh floor and the door opened. Cuddy tried to escape but he held her back and stepped outside the car, keeping her against him. Then he leaned down to her neck and teasingly nibbled at her bare skin, just beneath the ear lobe.

"Oh no, I think you're confusing me with someone else. My name is not House. It's Mr. Smith… Mrs. Smith." He blew, with an exaggerated hoarse voice, incapable of holding back his chuckle.

"You're an ass." She said, freeing herself from his embrace and determinedly walking away in the maze of corridors towards the hotel rooms.

He caught her up and grabbed her by the waist, making her stop again. A quick glance around him gave him the assurance that they were alone in the hallway, so he pushed her against the wall and challenged her with a teasing look.

"So tell me Cuddy, why exactly are you heading to our room right now?" He provoked her, sliding one hand underneath her cardigan and possessively grabbing her butt with the other one. She gaped and instinctively jerked her head back at the burning sensation of his touch on her. He took advantage of it and leaned forward to claim her mouth. He slid his tongue on the pulp of her cherry lips to taste her but she unexpectedly regained composure and turned her head to the side, decidedly pushing him away from her. He straightened up and interrogated her with quizzical eyes. She answered with a fiery defying gaze.

"I want to take a shower." She said, confidently, and she walked past him, making her way towards their room again.

He looked at her, pacing away into the hallway and he watched her stop at a door. Then he nonchalantly joined her, taking all the time in the world to go there and savoring the sight of her impatient thumping silhouette on his way towards her. She had undoubtedly heard him approach but she kept facing the door, stubbornly turning her back on him. He came behind her, as closer as he could, which made her irrepressibly stiffen when she felt the shape of his body along hers. He put his cane down and placed his palms flat on the door on both sides of her petite frame and he leaned forward, enveloping her shoulders with his chest.

"I'm the one having the key. You need me to open the door." He whispered throatily inside her neck.

She shivered and turned around, unavoidably rubbing her body against his in the process, because of the very small space he had left between them. They ended up face to face, almost touching, and she looked up at him with a sensual smile, her warm breath brushing his Adam's apple. She kept staring at him, intensely, without moving, perfectly immobile, and just breathing into his neck. It had taken only one second of her so perfectly mischievous gaze on him to build the erection inside his pants. He couldn't hold it any longer and he keenly grabbed her, squashing her against the door, kissing her with a raw and greedy outburst.

She tensed up and gasped inside his mouth when he first pinned her against the door but then she let go of herself, relaxing and sliding along his body, her tongue whirling inside his mouth and her hands griping his biceps, as if she was holding on to a safe anchor. When she moaned her first lustful sigh between his teeth, he broke away from their kiss and victoriously smiled at her.

"Here," He said, holding out the key in front of her face, "if you need to take that shower, you can open the door yourself."

She gave him his smile back, as teasing as his was, but ignoring the key, she threw her arms around his neck instead.

"To hell with the shower!" She exclaimed, biting at his lips greedily "Just open the damn door now or I'll rip off your clothes in the middle of this hallway."

"Mmm, rip off my clothes?" He mumbled, groping around for the lock, and finally sliding the key card inside it to open the door. He hastily grabbed hold of his cane and pushed her inside "Anything you want, sex maniac."

And he kicked the door shut behind him.

Once inside the room, he dropped his cane on the floor and pushed her against the door to kiss her again, without restraint, his hands ravenously fondling her body in a disorganized manner. His desire for her was so sudden and demanding that he felt it rise inside him way much faster than he could already control it. He stopped and drew apart, panting, staring at her in awe. She was breathing fast too and there was no doubt that her desire was as ardent as his was. She brought her hands up to cradle his jaws and caressed his stubble yearningly.

"Fuck me." She demanded shamelessly, peering evocatively at him with her lustful steel grey eyes.

The sound of her voice, the light in her eyes, the plain assertiveness of her smile, everything overwhelmed him at the same time. He took a sharp breath and without a hesitation, he dived into her mouth again and devoured her with his tongue, cupping her face inside his palms while she griped his shirt and tugged possessively at the cloth to bring him closer to her. After this fiery outburst, they broke away from their kiss at the same time and stared at each other, for barely more than a few seconds, just enough to convey the confirmation of their desire through their gazes. He flashed a roguish smile at her and instantly after, they threw themselves towards each other again to join their lips in another kiss, their mouth sucking and biting greedily, while at the same time, they both took their coat off and tossed them away in a perfect synchronized hastiness. Then, as they were still sharing their passionate kiss, House's hands fervently searched for her pants' button and zipper. As soon as he managed to open them, he grabbed hold of her pants' waistband and in one swift confident gesture he pulled them down, past her round shaped ass, getting rid of her panties as well.

She rocked her hips feverishly to make them both slide completely along her legs and he took care of his jeans himself, unable to wait for her move, impatiently needing to free his engorged member out of his boxers. Meanwhile, with her hand griping his shoulder for leverage, she bent her leg and seized her heel, tugging on her jeans to get rid of them. She managed to pull one leg off, struggling hard to push it past her boot. Panting and moaning, stretching her neck while he was nibbling at her jugular, she finally managed to release one of her legs and she started to lean down to at least get rid of the other boot and make it easier and quicker to finish undressing and take her jeans off completely. But as soon as she moved away from his face and started disappear underneath his shoulders, he compellingly grabbed her and yanked her up.

"Geez Lisa, leave your goddamn shoes! You're undressed enough already. Just come back here!" He ordered.

She complied and reappeared at his level and he seized her jaws in his hands, maintaining her face tipped up towards his. He stared down at her, challengingly, with a burning gaze and suddenly he moved one hand away from her face and grabbed hold of her free leg to bring it up to his hips. She read his move perfectly and instantly bucked her pelvis up to find the most convenient angle for him to take her. He slid his hand along her thigh, rubbing her skin with his palm and he pushed himself against her, pressing his rock hard erection against her hips.

"You want me to fuck you?" He asked, his hand skirting her firm perfect ass and searching for his cock. He brushed past her wet entrance and barely needed to tease her clit with his thumb to make her jolt and tremble in anticipation against him.

"Yes." She blew in an abandoned whisper, tilting her head back. "Fuck me. Fuck me now."

She tightened her grip around his waist with her leg, digging her boot's heel into his firm ass; and she leaned her shoulders back against the door, bucking her hips up higher. She felt his hand on her sex again and then the head of his shaft claiming for entrance. She gaped and he pushed himself inside her. It was not a very comfortable position, nor was it one that allowed a very a deep penetration but right within his first thrust, hard and raw, he pinned her against the door, letting her undoubtedly know how strong his desire for her was. He kept his hand under her thigh at first, maintaining her leg up but when he sensed she had already found a steady grip by herself, he let go of it and his hands climbed back to her face. He enveloped her nape with his long fingers and buried his face in her neck, breathing fast and heavy against her silky skin, trying to focus on his raw hammering shoves. She couldn't take his whole length inside her but the angle was intoxicating and the head of his cock started to hit a spot that sent tingling waves of pleasure up and down her spine in no time. After only a few thrusts, she was already panting in ecstasy, elated by this powerful liberating sensation. She threw her head back and closed her eyes, resting her hands flat on the door on both sides of her hips and he nose-dived in her neck, kissing and licking her burning flesh, sliding his lips along her jaw line and kissing her again. After a short while, he speeded his pace, ramming inside her harder, and her back began to bang rhythmically against the door and the sound echoed in the room's entrance, mixing with the sound of his moans and her cries. The faster he was thrusting inside her, the louder she gasped and all this unrestraint desire drove him crazy. He felt he wouldn't hold it much longer but he wanted to be inside her deeper before he'd come.

Without thinking, he promptly griped her ass cheeks and took her off the floor, his cock still inside her. She reacted instantly and wound her arms around his neck, encircling his waist with her other leg at the same time. This new angle allowed him to slide deeper inside her and her walls throbbed around his shaft at this new fulfilling sensation, eliciting an incredibly loud moan from the depth of her throat. Even though she was not heavy, his leg immediately brought him back to reality, moaning its own language of pain. He winced but there was no way he would give up and stop, or allow his damned wound to ruin their pleasure. He turned around and spotted an ebony console behind them in the hallway, barely a few feet away, and which looked steady enough to support her weight. He hadn't taken his jeans off so he staggered along to head there, threatening to fall with each step.

"What are you doing?" She asked a little bit panicked by all his sudden agitation.

"My leg," He simply said.

"Put me down." She told him. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"No way!" He protested, "You stay right where you are."

And he stopped for a split second to look her in the eyes and study her worried face. He gave her a reassuring smile and without a warning, he lifted her up, re-adjusting his grab on her butt. When she fell back down on his hips, the bumping sensation of his cock hitting her deep inside, made her gasp in sheer delight.

"Oh God! Hurry pleaaase." She beseeched, unequivocally moaning her urging yearning.

He started to move again and she instinctively spread her arms out and put her hands on both side of the hallway's walls to steady their swaying pace. A few feet farther, he stumbled one last time and he dropped her down on the wooden console, toppling on top of her, panting. But he didn't waste one single second and promptly steadied himself then seized her ass to bring her to the edge of the console. She tipped back and her head hit the wall behind her and she laughed hoarsely at their greedy disorganized precipitation, while he compellingly spread her legs open to make his way back inside her again. He took his cock in his right hand and looking her in the eyes, he penetrated her, this time with all his length, in one quick steady thrust. The incredible sensation of his shaft reaching the depth of her juicy core squeezed a moan out of his throat and he almost come right within his first thrust but he clenched his jaws, mentally praying to last just a little longer. He placed one hand on the small of her back, the other behind her neck and she wrapped her legs firmly around his hips, reaching for his face with her hands and searching for his mouth with her moist lips, demanding entrance with her tongue. As he responded to her kiss, he began to shove inside her again, but after only a few powerful ramming movements, he soon felt his shaft throbbing and the orgasm building up in his balls. The wave rose inside him and he clutched her hips, digging his fingers in her flesh, sending her the signal that he would soon climax. Joining him in this exulting pleasure, she let go of herself and her breath started to accelerate. She bit her lips to stifle her moans but he knew she was coming too. He shoved harder and faster just a few more times until he felt her juicy walls clamp around his length in vibrating contractions, milking his pounding member and giving him an amazingly raw orgasm. The wave went through his whole body and he shuddered uncontrollably in her arms for a few seconds. Then he found the strength to straighten up and he looked at her with a fulfilled smile.

"What was that?" She asked, still panting, and looking at him with an incredibly lively smile enlightening her face, as she was barely coming back from her own orgasm herself,.

"That, was the relaxing cure I'd promised you, also called 'fucking good quickie', if you prefer to refer to it by its exact name." He answered, straightening up proudly and peering at her, with his chin up and a grin of total boyish self-satisfaction drawn on his lips.

* * *

**_A/N_**

_I really want to take time once again to genuinely thank everyone who reads this story, and even adds it in their list of favs. It brings a real fulfilling feeling of pride and joy to know that with my humble words, I'm building a story that you enjoy reading._

_But then, if you like it, please don't hide, share your feelings, let me know what you think. Don't hesitate to say what you dislike, or wish. Just express yourself!_

_Leave a review…_

_and of course, don't forget to HAVE FUN! ~ maya :-)_


	65. Chapter 65

**_Hey everyone! :-)_**

_I'm back... wow... it's been a long time! I hope you haven't completely forgotten this story... I can tell you I haven't... neither this story nor you!_

_so now, let's move on to the NEW CHAPTER, where (for this last day in Boston) you'll have a little glance at House's concept of romanticism.... _

_to try to make up for the long wait, the chapter's gonna be a loooong one! so, I hope you'll enjoy it..._

**

* * *

****CHAPTER 65 ~~**

They had both stepped inside the shower where the hot water was flowing and caressing their bodies. The sound of the droplets hitting the ceramic tiles was delightfully relaxing. Both softened by the steam that invaded the air, they were facing each other, silent and immobile, staring at each other with a mesmerized gaze. Cuddy made a move towards him first and, as she came closer, she sent him a mischievous smile, testing his reaction. House raised an amused eyebrow and smiled back. Without breaking their stare, he grabbed the shower gel and poured some liquid inside his hand. She took another step and reached out her hands to touch his torso. He couldn't control the jolt of pleasure it gave him and he imperceptibly tilted his head back a little. Cuddy's smile grew bigger and she wiggled along his body, rubbing her belly suggestively against his manhood. House briefly closed his eyes, trying to control his breath, and he compellingly seized her by the shoulders to make her turn around. She tried to face him again but he grabbed hold of her firmly and made her stand still. Leaning forward, he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Don't get all excited again!" He said throatily inside her ear, "I'm just gonna wash your back and that's all!"

She tilted her head to the side to meet his eyes and pouted exaggeratedly.

"You're no fun, you know." She answered, faking disappointment perfectly.

"Yeah sure…" House answered, with a roguish 'look-who's-the-one-saying-this' look on his face. "Stop fidgeting!" He commanded her, and he laid his long hands on her again, enveloping the round shape of her shoulders entirely with his palms.

Then, he started to rub her gently, drawing slow languorous lathering circles on her wet skin. He caressed her along her arms and he slid on the sides of her body, going down to her hips. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head back, a blissful smile drawn on her lips. He kept stroking her silky skin, leisurely, his palms delicately pressing on her back. He was following the trajectory of his hands on her until his eyes met the perfect roundness of her ass. He cupped her cheeks in his hands and caressed them gently. Her head still tilted backwards and her eyes still closed, she let out a moan of pleasure and House couldn't repress a chuckle. Playfully, he gave her a spank and pushed her away from him a little.

"Done!" He exclaimed, holding back his laughter when he saw the look of frustration on her face, as she turned around to face him.

But refusing to admit defeat yet, Cuddy teasingly made her way toward him once more.

"And the front? You didn't wash me entirely." She said with a coyly inflexion in her tone.

House's eyes grew bigger for a split second, as he contemplated her offer and the appealing curves of her body in front of him. But he snatched the shower gel and opted for a reasonable bantering way out instead, knowing that despite his undeniable desire for her in that moment, there were so many things a man in his condition couldn't do, especially twice in a row... and making love to her in a standing position, barely fifteen minutes after their previous wild liberating session against the door, was sadly one of them.

"That's because you can perfectly do that yourself without my help!" He stated, putting the shower gel in her hand, and opening the door to step out of the shower tray.

He grabbed a towel and brought it quite instantly to his right thigh, rubbing it more energetically than he would have if it were just to dry himself. Cuddy lowered her eyes and bit her lips, a look of guilt clouding her face over, when she realized he was certainly feeling pain and that it was indubitably partly her fault. She slid the door open and House looked up at her.

"Greg, your leg… are you…"

House instinctively silenced her with an almost icy stare, but when he saw her gasp, he swiftly erased it from his face and replaced it by a teasing smile

"Forget about my leg, I'm fine." He told her gently, wrapping the towel around his waist. "Don't you have some girlie ritual to do now, like scrub your curves or something? Because then, you should definitely start with your chubby tush…"

Cuddy's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to answer something but he walked away before she could come up with a witty comeback.

"Just saying…" He chuckled, as he exited the bathroom. She closed the door back and, with a peaceful smile of fulfillment on her lips again, she let the water washed away the last remnants of her worries.

Once outside the room, House picked up his boxers and jeans among the scattered clothes on the floor and put them on. He searched for his bottle of Vicodin and quickly swallowed dry two pills. Then he entered the bedroom and sighed with relief when he saw the snug king size bed that was sitting imposingly in the middle of the room, like a gripping invitation to relaxation. He came closer to the edge and he literally let himself fall on the mattress, sinking into the softness of the cushions. Comfortably laid down, he looked at the ceiling for a while, breathing in and out slowly, the sound of the water coming from the bathroom indicating that she was still under the shower. He smiled and plunged his hand in the back pocket of his jeans, fishing out his cell phone. After a few seconds spent staring at the screen, he pressed the dialing keys and brought the receiver up to his ear.

"Dr. Foreman, diagnosis department."

"Don't write your name on the door just yet, I'm not gone for good…"

"House?"

"Aww, I'm touched you still can recognize my voice. I was a little afraid you'd have completely erased me from your memory, like the most ungrateful of my children."

A short silence ensued, during which House could almost picture Foreman's upset smirk on the other end of the line, just before he heard him take a sharp breath.

"How are you?" Foreman asked.

"I'm fine. I've… taken some days off… had a lot of stuff to do…"

"So… Wilson says you'll be back tomorrow?"

"Of course Wilson said! And here I thought I needed to give you a call to tell you that _myself_… how naive of me!"

"Well, _I_ asked him. Decisions needed to be made and…"

"And you couldn't wait any longer to quench your thirst for power, could you? Cuz, who knows, maybe, with a little luck, I could have been dead?..."

At the same time, Cuddy entered the room, wearing a bathrobe and scraping her wet hair with a towel. Her head slightly tilted to the side, she looked at House with a fond smile.

"Is it Wils…" She started to ask but House vigorously shook his head 'no' and sent her a warning gaze, as he promptly put his index finger on his lips to shush her. Intrigued, Cuddy walked towards the bed and sat down on the edge of the mattress.

"And apparently, Cuddy will be back tomorrow too…" Foreman then added with an obvious self-satisfied tone, he didn't even try to hide.

House frowned and stared intensely at Cuddy, who sent him a quizzical look, tainted with worry. He narrowed his eyes, as he seemed to weigh up his answering options, then he cleared his throat, and looked away.

"Did Wilson say that too? Or is it just your way of telling me I should avoid coming back? … Oh and by the way, speaking of Wilson's spreading news fever, good job diagnosing Whipple Disease." He added, before Foreman could answer anything.

The silence that followed was exactly the one House had expected to get. Confused enough to cut the conversation short and let him find a way out of this slippery slope.

"The weight loss and the anemia combined with the lymphadenopathy… that was not an easy call…"

"Yeah, well… thank you… Low protein level was consistent with Whipple, once we double checked his blood" Foreman said, with his proud self-important voice back.

"Cool." House answered flatly, and he conspicuously sighed into the receiver, hoping Foreman would get the underlying message. Thankfully, he did.

"Well I have to go now." Foreman said conveniently.

"Ok. Don't kill anyone until I'm back"

"Yeah. Bye."

House hung up and dropped the cell phone on the night stand. Cuddy followed the trajectory of his hand and then she looked him right in the eyes, dying for an update.

"Foreman?" She inquired.

House nodded and reached out his hand to touch her shoulder. She immediately shifted on the mattress to sit closer to him. He delicately slid his fingertips under the bathrobe and he started to caress her collarbone. She tilted her head to the side, her chin touching the back of his hand and she studied him, as he was silently staring up at her.

"What?" She finally asked, a little suspiciously.

"I think… he knows…"

"Knows what?"

"Knows well… you know… that you and I do the horizontal mambo… and I mean, not the one we just did… which was more like a vertical one anyway…"

Cuddy smiled and she leaned down to lay beside him. House slithered back to make room for her next to him and he turned to the side to face her, his hand still offhandedly caressing her shoulder. She shrugged and sighed, her steel grey eyes planted in his gaze.

"Foreman's always been intuitive…"

"Yeah, well, that or… Wilson's gossiping gene went crazy and he told everyone."

"What?!" Her mouth dropped open in astonishment. "Are you saying your whole team knows?"

"Lisa…" He rolled his eyes and looked at her with a 'don't play the moron with me' look. "Seriously… Were you _really_ planning on keeping that secret forever?"

"I don't know…" she said pouting, "I wasn't exactly _planning_. It's just that… it was comfortable not to have to deal with that…"

"So that means you're ok with it now?"

"I don't know. As long as it only involves your team, and you make sure they don't cross the lines, by starting stupid polls or making inappropriate comments…"

House faked a grimace and looked at her with puppy eyes.

"What now?"

"From what I've heard, I think it might already be too late for the stupid poll…" He said, trying not to smile.

"You mean… Chase?"

House nodded and stared at her with an encouraging look, hoping to make her understand what she obviously naively pretended not to see: they were together for several months now and the whole hospital knew about it. His team, Chase, and Cameron, and consequently the entire E.R, the nurses… everyone! It was useless to deny it. They've kept that private as much as they could. Even he had never rubbed it as a fact in anyone's face, but people were not stupid. And they weren't blind either. He couldn't say he really liked it, but he wouldn't lie either: somehow, there was this selfish, carefree, part in him which was quite proud of the idea that he and Cuddy being a couple could be that obvious to people. It added to the sense of boyish victory he couldn't help but feel when he was looking at her. Cuddy studied his face and sighed. She opened her mouth to add something but just puffed and resignedly shook her head instead.

"Well, I should've known that was quite inevitable, right?" She said, finally acknowledging the truth.

House smiled reassuringly at her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Come here." He told her. She let him guide her in his arms without resistance and he rolled her on her back, pulling her gently beside him. He lifted himself on one side and sheltered her petite frame underneath his bare chest. Then, he slid his hand between the loosened tails of her bathrobe and caressed her soft breasts. She heaved a voluptuous sigh and she snuggled up closer against him. From above, he enveloped her with a fond gaze, and the sight of her delicate silhouette, unwound and perfectly still, brought him a sensation of absolute bliss. But he suddenly became aware of the tenderness of her round breasts underneath his touch and it unexpectedly overwhelmed him.

He could have lost her.

She was there, lying down beside him, quiet and abandoned to his caresses, and it could have tested like eternity, but instead he couldn't help but think about how fragile everything was; how nothing could ever be taken for granted. Unconsciously, his hand stretched out on her torso and he covered one of her breast entirely, enveloping it inside his palm. Then he pressed on its surface delicately and he started to move his fingertips around its roundness, fondling and exploring more thoroughly than a simple caress would have. It was stronger than him and in that instant there was nothing that could have stopped this compelling need to touch her like he was. Cuddy let him move his hand on her and search for that proof she knew he was looking for and that she somehow wanted him to find by himself. Then after a while, she held House's hand back and slowly shifted to the side to face him.

"So?" She asked with a knowing smile. "Are you done double checking Bill's exam, now?"

"What… me!? I'm just stroking the twins gently. Are you saying you don't like me stroking you?" He exclaimed with ingenuous bafflement, looking her in the eyes and sassily faking to be upset.

She sustained his stare and her smile widened.

"Not at all!" She answered with mischief. "But maybe, now that's you've stroked me well enough to be sure everything's fine with my boobs, we can finish get dressed and go to my parents?" She added teasingly, propping herself up on her elbow.

He pouted and pushed her back on the bed.

"Oh no… You're not going anywhere. You need to sleep first." He declared, recovering his poise.

"I'm not tired!" She protested.

"Your eyes keep blinking, your eyelids are half-closed already and you've repressed at least three yawns while I was stroking you, just now!" He contradicted. "Fifty bucks say if you slide under the sheets, you'll have dozed off before I've finished tying the laces of my sneakers."

Suiting the gesture to the word, House got up and leaned down to collect his shoes. Cuddy watched him sit on an armchair near the bed and put them on.

"Where are you going?" She inquired, a bit anxiously, sitting up on the bed.

"As much as I'd love to keep it, I've only rented the bike for today, so I need to bring it back."

"I wanna go with you…"

House got up and came close to the bed. He leaned down and cupped her face inside his hands.

"No, you don't. You wanna sleep. Trust me! Now get in that bed. I'll be back in less than an hour."

"I'm not tired." She mumbled again with a pout, but she complied and slithered under the sheets.

"You've been under a lot of stress lately, which means you probably only slept half way through your nights and spent the other half, staring anxiously at the ceiling with your eyes wide open. I know you. So stop being stubborn and lay down."

"I'm feeling fine." She said, snuggling up deeper inside the bed.

"Yeah, that's because of the amazing sex you just had, thanks to me. But that was only phase one, to get you all relax and cozy before you go to bed and get some sleep."

"What? What are you talking about? Sex is only a phase now?"

"Shut up! I'm the doctor, remember? I'm prescribing the treatment…"

"I'm a doctor too, you know."

"No, you're only filling forms and signing checks. You're not entitled to have medical opinions."

Cuddy let out a quiet laugh, as she brought the sheet under her chin.

"Sure… Wait until we're back in Princeton, and we'll see whose medical opinions get to have the last word!"

House made no comment but, as he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand, he gazed intensely at her with a "that's my girl" proud look on his beaming face. Cuddy held his hand back and laid a gentle kiss in the hollow of his wrist. Then, she sighed and turned to the side, closing her eyes and finally surrendering to the delicious warmth of the bed.

* * *

In the hotel's lobby, House limped past the reception desk and the young woman that had checked them in earlier smiled at him.

"Everything's fine with your room, Mr. Smith?" She asked, with a perfect professionally concerned tone.

House stopped and turned around to answer.

"Absolutely! That room meets our needs exactly!" He exclaimed, "And it did, as soon as we stepped inside…" He added, with a roguish smile.

The young girl's face took on a baffled look for a split second, but she promptly dismissed the idea that House's comment could've had any awkward double meaning, as her mind had yet just almost instantly and oddly suggested her.

"Will you be having dinner in our restaurant tonight? I can make the reservation for you now, if you want…"

House walked towards the desk and glanced at his watch: 4.30pm. A faint smile formed on the corner of his lips and he leaned over the counter.

"No thanks, actually we'll have dinner outside… but… there's still something you can do."

"Yes sir, what is it?"

"I'd want you to set up a little something to eat now."

"Certainly sir, what would you like to eat?"

"That's not for me, that's for…"

"Your wife?"

House rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah… my wife." He mumbled, making a mental note to himself to remember to make her pay somehow for that ridiculous, stupid outburst she had.

"Unless you have a very specific request, we can serve something in your room in ten minutes."

His thoughts instantly brought him back there, where he pictured her, probably already asleep, despite her stubborn resistance to admit she was tired and needed to rest.

"No," House said with a fond smile lingering on his lips, "my… wife is asleep now, and I've a few things I need to take care of myself, which shouldn't take me more than half an hour. So I rather it wait until I'm back."

"Of course," The young girl answered, immediately adjusting to House's request and swiftly glancing at the clock behind her, "Do you want us to get everything set for five o'clock, then?"

"Yes, five is good. Thank you."

"You can have a look at our menu to help you choose something in particular, if you like."

House smiled again and shook his head.

"No thanks, I already know what I want to order."

* * *

A little after 5pm, a taxi dropped House in front of the hotel's front door. He'd brought the bike back to the rental agency near the bay, and he was back early enough to return in their room before the moment when he'd predicted Cuddy would awaken from her nap. Already impatient to join her there, he limped decidedly to the counter, where the young woman picked up the phone, as soon as she spotted him. When he arrived at the desk, she was done talking, and she hung up, welcoming him with a smile.

"Your order will be ready in a few seconds. "

A short while later, a floor waiter entered the lobby, pushing a trolley in front of him. House approached and he scanned the content of the tray. He smiled with plain satisfaction when he saw that they'd found this little extra detail he'd specifically requested them to add.

"Perfect." He said.

They both headed to the elevator, then into the corridors towards the room's door, where House stopped and turned around to face the waiter. He hastily fished some money out of his pocket and tipped him a few bucks.

"Thank you. I'll take care of it from here." He said, sliding the electronic key in the lock.

The waiter nodded and discreetly walked away, leaving him alone at the threshold as he'd been just asked to. House silently entered the room and pulled the trolley with him, leaving it there, in the entrance, before he took his coat off and headed to the bedroom. The timing was perfect. The sound of the door lock had stirred her out of her slumber and she was stretching out like a lazy cat. He walked to the bed and sat down next to her. She blinked a few times to adjust to the light and she smiled when she saw him.

"You were right: you absolutely didn't need to sleep!" He said, with a teasing edge to his voice.

She sat up on the mattress and smacked him on the arm.

"Shut up! I've barely slept more than a few minutes…" She tried to defend herself.

He chuckled and traced a line on her cheek with his fingertip.

"Yeah, sure, a few minutes… just like this pillow mark testifies!"

"Ok! Fine! I confess: I slept the entire time! But you're the one who said I should! So stop gloating like someone who's always right!"

"But you just said it: I'm always right!" He teased again.

The bathrobe she'd kept on to sleep was all creased and half-open, and the way she was sitting in the bed was revealing the curves of her breasts. House took a deep breath and grabbed the tails of the robe, drawing them shut to cover her. "Don't you think it's time to get dressed to go to your parents' now?" He said. Cuddy pouted and wriggled under the sheet, but she didn't get out of bed.

"What?" He asked, with a self-satisfied smile, knowing exactly what she would answer and getting ready to surprise her as he'd planned to.

"Do you think my parents will hate me if I eat something before we go?" She asked, looking down, with an irresistible look of embarrassment on her face.

"Oh-oh! You bad, bad girl! Your parents invited us for dinner. That'd be very impolite to eat now…" He told her, frowning.

"But not an entire meal," She pleaded, "just a little something! Come on! It's only five o'clock… and this is your fault anyway! You dragged me on your bike for a chilly ride around town, and then we had this acrobatic… amazing sex… and then you forced me to sleep… you made me burn all my calories… so, no wonder if I'm hungry now!" She added with a wheedling voice, pouting like a desperate child.

She waited in silence, studying his reaction, but as he was remaining perfectly impassible, she leaned towards the night stand and grabbed the phone. That's when he snatched the receiver out of her hand and put it back, staring at her with a beaming face. She was familiar enough with this smile of his to know that it meant he most certainly had something up his sleeve, so the only thing left for her to do was to wait to find out what it was. She didn't move when he got off the bed and she even smiled when she saw him leave the room. And when he reappeared a few seconds later, pushing a trolley towards the bed, her smile grew wider.

"Not an entire meal?" House said, bringing the trolley next to her, "Uhm, let me see… So, you mean, like… Lemon tea, fresh fruits salad, and some bagels with raspberry jam?"

Cuddy inspected the content of the tray that he'd revealed for her and then she looked up at him, irresistibly won over by this unexpected surprise.

"When did you order this?" She asked with wonderment, as he sat next to her on the bed again.

"I didn't. I pinched it from a guy who was rolling it in the corridor… Knocked him out with my cane…"

She giggled and stared at him in awe.

"How did you know?"

"Because you're right: I made you burn all your calories; that, plus the fact that you're basically always hungry when you wake up."

He was studying her and taking pleasure in every second of her amazed enjoyment. She looked at the tray again and her eyes widened.

"Aww… House…" She whispered, short of breath.

"Seriously? You're falling for the luxury hotel's easy trick now?" He said, faking to be appalled.

She took the flower inside her slender hand and brought it under her nose to sense its enthralling perfume, looking him in the eyes with a tender smile, over the velvety petals.

"So, you're saying, the fact that there's a purple rose on this tray, which happens to be my favorite… is only a pure coincidence?" She asked, ingenuously.

"How would I know? I told you I stole it from a guy on my way here…" He answered, smiling.

She put the flower down and turned to the side to face him. She delicately held out her hands and cradled his jaws, caressing his stubble tenderly. When she came closer to his face, ready to taste his lips, it took him a strong dose of will power to resist, but he seized her hands and pushed her away gently.

"Why don't you try to satisfy your hunger with real food first?" He teased her.

She beamed and dived into the tray, grabbing a bagel and snatching a strawberry from the bowl of fruit salad. She ate ravenously, heaving long sighs of pleasure, as she bit into the sweet juicy flesh of each fruit and drank hot sips of her tea. The tray was half empty when she finally seemed to decide she'd had enough. She wiped her mouth with the napkin, and before he could see it coming, she jumped on top of him, making him topple backwards on the mattress. He welcomed her in his arms and enjoyed the sight of her half naked body exposed above him for the pleasure of his eyes only. She leaned down and claimed his mouth with an avid thirst, thrusting her tongue between his teeth and drinking his juice from his palate.

"Hmmm" She moaned inside his mouth, tugging at his shirt and sliding her hands under the cloth to stroke his belly.

He grabbed her by the arms to make her stand still, as she was sensually rubbing her crotch on his lap in a way that was causing him some pain in his thigh, which he didn't want her to be aware of.

"What's with this sudden excitement of yours now?" He exclaimed, rolling his eyes, and hardly repressing a chuckle, despite the slight discomfort in his leg, "Are you on something?"

"No." She answered mischievously, "It's just you and your irresistible sex appeal that invigorates me… and possibly the bagels and the fruit salad too, a little…" She said, giggling, "But I'm definitely ready to burn some few more calories now…"

House shook his head and made her roll on the side.

"Not a chance." He said, compellingly. "You've exhausted me already for the day… I'm not twenty anymore, you little nympho!" He added, with an imperceptible trace of self-consciousness in his tone.

Despite his efforts to sound casual and teasing, she caught it and immediately slithered back in his arms, squeezing him tight and burying her face in his chest.

"I know." She said, inhaling deeply and filling her nostrils with his entrancing masculine odor. She held her head up and met his inquiring gaze. "But I don't care. I don't want you to be twenty." She declared, with gravity. "I'm happy it's happened… now."

House narrowed his eyes as her face kept coming closer. She stopped only few inches from his mouth and smiled.

"I wouldn't want to swap you for a younger version of yourself… because all I want is the old, cranky, broken one I have now…"

"Yeah, you're saying that because you're full, rested, and far from work…"

Cuddy propped herself up on her elbow and took a deep breath.

"No, I'm saying that, because I mean it…" She said with a resolute tone.

He took her face inside his hands and compellingly pulled it close to his.

"Ok." He told her, and he planted his gripping gaze inside her eyes for some endless suspended seconds. Then suddenly, he let go of his grasp and started to sit up. "Now go get dressed… Unless you forgot to tell me about this Jewish naked family nights tradition you have!..."

"You're just one old, grumpy, broken iconoclast… you know that?!" She said, before she disappeared in the bathroom.

"Hey, that's not true! I'm all for doing naked stuff you know, but not in the family circle… cuz I'm not ready to strip in front of your folks just yet!" He shouted out to her, holding back a chuckle.

A few seconds later, she popped her head out of the bathroom door, pointing the hairbrush to him with a dubious frown.

"Just so we're clear, you will _never_ be ready to strip in front of my parents!"

* * *

Dinner had been pleasant enough for House to enjoy most of it. The homemade meals of Dana Cuddy were delicious; all in all, the discussion was more interesting than it was boring and Lisa's parents turned out to be real nice and funny folks. Maybe it was because all the weariness of the past week was finally getting at him and he was lacking this extra energy he'd have normally used to tease and provoke; or maybe it was because, when he looked at her, smiling so genuinely, when he felt the occasional caress of her hand on his thigh under the table, or when he heard the sound of her spontaneous laughter, he could almost forget to be sarcastic.

Time had come to say goodbye though. After dinner Cuddy, who had finished packing her stuff, went up in her room to pick up her suitcase, while House called the cab company to ask for a taxi. Benjamin was upstairs to help his daughter and House was waiting in the lobby, with Dana at his side. The silence was somewhat awkward and heavy but it was mostly because it seemed clear that none of them truly knew how to express how they felt about those past two days. Finally, Dana cleared her throat and came closer to House.

"Thank you for tonight." She said in a low voice.

"Don't thank me. I've done nothing." House mumbled, felling uncomfortable.

"You let us enjoy the presence of our daughter a little longer, by suggesting this dinner, so you've done a lot."

House remained silent and just stared at Dana, conveying everything he could not say with words through his gaze. Dana smiled and slightly nodded as if to acknowledge his silent message.

"Please, take good care of Lisa, will you?"

"No, I won't." House answered, in a grunt.

Dana Cuddy widened her eyes and stared at him in shock. House held his head up and sustained her gaze.

"Your daughter's already taking care of herself, alone." He clarified in a throaty voice. "But, as long as she let me, I'll make sure that she's doing it right, if that's what you mean."

Dana's features softened and she peered at him fondly.

"You're one man of a kind, you know, Dr. House."

"My name's Greg." House said in a low voice.

"Well, _Greg_, I know you'll do what's right, and I know my daughter enough to say that she seems happy with you."

House looked at her with a mischievous smile.

"I don't know if she's happy," He said with a light chuckle. Anticipating his joke, Dana just raised her eyebrows and waited for the punch line. "But, you heard her: she sure is voicing some feelings!…"

Dana smiled and put her hand on House's arm, squeezing it gently. Taken off guard by this simple, but fond, gesture, House gulped and lowered his eyes, uneasy. But suddenly, sounds of steps coming down the stairs interrupted them and Lisa's voice echoed in the hallway. Dana removed her hand from House's arm and took a step back, just when Lisa joined them.

"Dad is coming with the suitcase." She said, a little short of breath. "So I guess we're ready to go."

She glanced at House and he nodded his approval. Behind them, the sound of the suitcase being rolled on the floor resonated in the hallway and Benjamin appeared with a smile on his face.

"Mom… thank you…" Lisa said feeling a little overwhelmed. Before her voice started to choke with emotions, she gave her mother a hug. Dana squeezed her tight and rubbed her back tenderly.

Farewells were clearly not House's forte, so he discreetly sneaked outside, and stood on the front steps, looking up at the starless sky.

"Dark night, uh?" Benjamin's voice said behind him.

House didn't answer but he turned his collar up and nodded.

"So, tomorrow, you'll go back to hospital daily routine?"

"Yep!... although, I'm not sure if _routine_ is the proper word to describe how it feels to work with your daughter."

"She's one tough gal, isn't she?" Benjamin said proudly.

House tipped his head to the side and briefly locked eyes with him, before he silently acquiesced with a nod. At the same time, the cab parked in front of the house and the driver stepped out of the car. Lisa's father turned to face House and held out his hand to him.

"Well… it's been a pleasure to meet you. Too bad you don't like my Bourbon…"

"Not the right week for Bourbon." House answered, shaking Benjamin's hand, "Of any kind… So nothing to do with yours, I swear…"

"Another time maybe…"

The two women, who'd probably heard the cab from inside the house, joined them outside, offering House a perfectly-timed way out of this uneasy moment and giving him an excuse not to have to answer anything to Lisa's father.

First time, last time, next time? All those concepts were far too blurry for him to consider them right now, as the only thing he truly wanted was to be back home, in a familiar environment, doing something he was good at. And despite the fact that, he had to admit it, those last two days in Boston weren't as awful as he'd thought they'd be, socializing with his woman's parents was not something he'd planned on doing forever. While the cabdriver put the suitcase in the trunk and before the tears he saw threatening to fall on everyone's eye rim started to flow, he grabbed Lisa by the waist and pushed her towards the car.

"Let's go." He said, with a soft but firm voice.

* * *

"I think my parents like you."

In the semi-darkness of their hotel room, barely lit by the pale shade of a faint moonlight, they were both lying naked in the bed, snuggled up in each other's arms, and enjoying the warm touch of their entwined bodies.

"Of course! All parents love me! That's cuz' I'm really loveable!"

Cuddy let out a quiet laugh and nuzzled his neck, breathing deeply.

"Though, I thought we would never leave! Seriously, how many times do you guys have to repeat your creepy goodbye hugging ritual before you're allowed to go _for real_!?"

"We don't see each other often. It's a natural reaction to hold on to something when you don't know when you can enjoy it the next time."

"Not often is enough good a rhythm for me!" House said, half-seriously, half-jokingly.

"They're my parents, you realize we're going to see them once in a while, right?…" She answered, in a wheedling voice, resting her hand on his belly and stroking him absentmindedly with her fingertips.

"Or… I can really piss you off again next time you'll need to have a pretext to come visit them!"

Cuddy's hand froze on his belly and she tipped her head up, searching for his gaze in the obscurity of the room. A long silence filled the air, until finally, she took a sharp breath and found her way against him again, slithering her legs between his. He put his hand on the small of her back and maintained her close to him.

"It's been a good day." She whispered, with her head rested in the hollow of his armpit.

"Hmm…"

"Are you falling asleep?" She asked, with a bit of disappointment in her voice.

House tightened his embrace and took a deep breath, breathing in the light scent of her shampoo in her hair. Within the next move, he assertively seized her by the waist and slid her underneath his large frame. Then, with one knee, he spread her legs open and nestled in her hips. Instantly feeling the erection building up in his groin, he then nose-dived in her neck and nibbled at her flesh gently.

"What are you doing?" She said, giggling.

"Like you need me to spell it out for you!" He answered, stroking her left thigh up and down its length.

"I thought you said you'd be completely washed out and useless for the rest of the day…" She teased.

"Yes, but that was before your mother's delicious dishes reinvigorated me!... And... also, possibly you, and your sexy naked body, which you've been naughtily rubbing against mine since we've entered in that bed!"

"Me? No, I have not!" She exclaimed mischievously.

House possessively slipped his hand under her ass and made her lift her hips up. He positioned himself above her and, in one slow but steady thrust, he entered inside her, causing her to gasp, while she tilted her head back on the pillow. He leaned down to her face and rested his forehead on her forehead.

"Yes, you have…" He whispered huskily, as she wrapped her legs around him, and he started his tidal movements inside her, already eliciting sighs of pleasure from her lips, an enthralling sound he could never grow tired to hear.

* * *

**A/N**

_that's so good to be back... and by that, I mean to write again, and to be here, to share it... I've been wanting to do that for ages now, never really finding time to sit and do it though, which is a terrible frustrating feeling, especially when I've been having lots of new ideas, both for this story and even a new one.... :-) ..... yep! probably a short one, so stay tuned, who knows? maybe, I might find time at some point to start writing it!.........._

_anyway, I really want to THANK YOU, for being so keen and supportive to me despite my silence! thank you to everyone of you who keeps adding me to their list of favorites, even after so much time! that's an incredibly rewarding feeling... you're a wonderful bunch of people and I love to write FOR YOU!!..._

_so, let me say that at this point, I have written the outlines of what could possibly the next 10 or 15 chapters of this story)... I'm cooking up something for you and I hope you'll keep reading and stay with me for what 's coming next!!_

_and also, I have to warn you, although it's not there yet, I'm going to have a terribly busy spring... which is something that I already kinda hate, just for the idea of it, but that's it and I have to deal with it.... I've business trips and really importants matters scheduled up until mid July!!!! 0_0! (yeah, that stinks...) so consequently, my free time will be shortened, but I'm planning on making the best out of it and I hope I'll be able to turn these raw outlines I have into chapters at a good pace, so that it won't discourage you too much to wait for the rest of the story... anyway, I promise you, I'll do my best!! _

_so THANK YOU for your faith! and of course............ please fuel me with tons of reviews!! LOL :-)_

_carpe diem! ~ maya_


	66. Chapter 66

_Hi everybody! I can finally post a NEW CHAPTER to this story! since I'm on vacation, I seized the opportunity to do what I would've had no chance doing in any other context. But, when you can, then JUST DO IT! like some sports shoes would say…_

_So here's chapter 66, where finally, our Bostonian lovebirds are back to PPTH. And of course, life tends to be quite immediately less idyllic there… :-)_

_if you like this story, share your thoughts, leave a review! thanks._

* * *

**** CHAPTER 66 ****

It was early in the morning. Not too early but still early enough for the team to be surprised to hear that joyful humming sound coming from the hallway.

"_You say yes; I say no… you say stop, and I say go, go, go, go…" _

When they heard the first notes of the Beatles song they promptly tilted their head up, in perfect sync, just in time to see House's limping silhouette, passing in front of them through the glass walls of the conference room. A few steps later, he entered the room theatrically pushing the door open and finishing his little refrain with a beaming face.

"_You say goodbye and I say…_ _**Hello**_**!**"

The four doctors stared at him almost paralyzed, not daring to say a word until after a few fleeting seconds, Kutner got up and approached House, who at first seemed taken aback but swiftly regained composure and straightened himself, holding the tip of his cane up like a menacing sword.

"Kutner! I'm warning you, if you hug me, I'll be forced to break your ribs!"

Kutner froze and instantly made a U-turn, heading toward the coffee machine and pretending that pouring himself a cup was his plan all along. House smiled at his reaction and hung his backpack to the coat rack. He took his leather jacket off and hung it as well. Carrying his mug in his hand, Kutner walked back to the table and sat down, gazing offhandedly down at the content of an open file, ignoring the other ones' amused faces. With a broad and kind of mocking grin, House approached the glass table and grabbed the file Kutner was looking at.

He opened it and glanced down at the content of the pages, while the ducklings, who haven't yet been able to utter a single word, too preoccupied to hide both their surprise and somehow undeniable glee to see their mentor back, kept staring at him almost breathless. Perfectly aware of their intense gazes on him, House continued to smile until, without lifting his head up, he finally spoke.

"37 year-old woman admitted two days ago for joint pain and a stiff neck? That's all you've got? Damn, I thought I'd trained you better at stealing Cameron's interesting cases," he puffed. He shut the file and frowned disapprovingly. "Give her some Ibuprofen and tell her to slow down on the yoga sessions: the inverted Lotus position should be forbidden for women over twenty."

A short silence filled the room, almost religious as if the sound of House's voice, finally echoing against the walls of the diagnosis department's conference room again had hypnotized them all.

No allusion about his absence. No explanation. No overly emotional 'good to see you back' speech. That's the way it went. But at the same time, there was no need to say anything because once House had stepped inside the room, he'd claimed his position as Head of the department back. Actually, he didn't even have to _claim_ it: he just had to stand there and that was it. There he was, back. The boss. The natural leader. The one whose extravagances, no matter how crazy, could still federate the energy of four devoted doctors, ready to satisfy every one of his whims.

"Jenny Reed had her fourth child six weeks ago. I doubt that her preoccupation is about practicing sport right now, especially when she had to undergo a C-section to give birth," Foreman answered with a slight smug smile.

Ok. Maybe this leader thing was not as obvious as it seemed. But God! It felt so good anyway! House briefly locked eyes with Foreman and gave him his smile back.

"And she also falls, for no particular reason. Her husband says she's walking, and suddenly she feels dizzy and trips," Thirteen carried on. "Apparently it just appeared recently."

"Yeah! Incredible, right? Four kids, a C-section, a husband who's probably waiting to have his fair share of cuddles as well and… let me guess… I bet she breast feeds! So wow, how come super mommy doesn't make it without being a little tired? Wonder why, really…" House commented, incapable of hiding the visible pleasure he was taking in this.

"She used to, but not anymore," Kutner deadpanned, turning his head towards House, who was standing at the end of the glass table.

House looked down at him and squinted.

"Breast-feed I mean," he clarified. "She did that the first month but she stopped two weeks ago because she had mastitis. She's on Bromocritpine now."

"Thank you, Kutner: you spared me the reading of at least… uh… two lines in that file and, you just solved the case! Since we all know that one of Bromocriptine side effects is…"

"Nausea?" Thirteen suggested, hesitantly.

"Yeah, I meant more like dizziness. I'm sure our patient really wishes she were a super mommy, but eventually, truth is she's just like any other miserable ones with a bunch of ungrateful brats sucking the life out of her, while she's trying to stand on her two feet! The joint pain is a post-op temporary effect due to the C-section. It will subside within a few days if she just accepts to rest instead of trying to earn an article in the Guinness book for most devoted mommy of the year. Which is just stupid! Like this breast feed thing. Luckily for her, her body sent that convenient mastitis to buy her a ticket out of it, or she would still spend her nights awake, trying to suckle her starving little mammal, instead of sleeping peacefully while the dad would do his part of the job and bottle feed his kid. Parlodel stopped the onset of lactation, gave her the vertigo, she tripped. End of story. Not even challenging. Thank you everyone that was nice to see you…"

Saying this, House theatrically threw the blue folder back on the glass conference table, on which it slid, until Thirteen blocked it with her hand. In that instant, House's smile was undeniably teasing and no member of the team could ignore it. Kutner grabbed his file again and tilted his head up.

"Unfortunately, it's not exactly all that simple," he carried on, giving House his smile back. "Yesterday, when I came in her room to draw some blood, I've noticed her drooling a little. And her face is twitching…"

House instantly snatched the file out of his hands again and turned some few pages back and forth.

"Bell's Palsy?" he said, following Kutner's clues, and raising his eyebrows with a new-found interest. "Uhm, if she fell then she could have either hit her head or…"

"No sign of head trauma," Foreman interrupted.

"I'm not saying she has. But I assume you did a CT-scan to check that anyway?" House answered, without missing a beat.

"Yes, but we…"

"You obviously didn't look in the right place," House went on, challengingly.

"You mean, if we look deeper… there could be a brainstem tumor!" Thirteen exclaimed, not even paying attention to Foreman's annoyed face.

"Or, it could just be an infection," he contradicted, staring at Thirteen with a daring look.

"Meningitis?" Kutner proposed, unconvincingly. "It'd explain the stiff neck."

"Or Lyme Disease," Taub suddenly jumped in, finally joining the conversation. "If she's been misdiagnosed, she could've carried the infection during months without it being treated."

"OK!" House exclaimed, silencing them all. "Foreman, Thirteen, do another CT-scan, and check the brainstem this time! Taub, Kutner, book an exam room to do the LP and test her for meningitis. And before that, go see if there's still enough blood to test for Lyme disease. And add infectious mononucleosis, syphilis and H.I.V while you're at it."

"But, she just had a baby!" Kutner said, appalled.

"Yeah, babies, the new vaccine against STD…" House mocked him.

Kutner sighed defeated and got up, followed by Taub. Thirteen gathered the spread pages on the table and put them back in the file, while Foreman swiftly stood up and started to head towards the door with an upset look. House stopped him on his way out and everybody froze, looking at him, intrigued.

"Oh, and for those of you who still wonder: yes, I'm doing the boss. And by that, I mean… exactly what I mean by that!" he said joyfully, with a wicked smile. "But if you think it gives you a free pass to ball up medical procedures, you're wrong… I, only, can do that, so don't mess it up, coz I have no intention of pleading your cause if you do. Cuddy and I have a lot of better things to do when we meet, if you know what I mean," He said, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

Except for Foreman, who couldn't repress a smile, they all froze, completely stunned, jaws dropped in utter surprise. House found it absolutely delightful to watch. He waited for some few extra seconds and then, jolting the whole team awake, he exclaimed:

"Tests, everybody! Come on, chop, chop!"

Foreman exited first. After him, Thirteen gave House an incredulous stare and she opened her mouth, as if she was about to make a comment, but she bit her lips and walked out instead, shaking her head in bafflement. Kutner followed, boldly daring to pat House on the shoulder in a sort of "way to go!" admiring gesture, before he swiftly stepped out of the office. House frowned, taken off guard a little, and leaned forward into the hallway, turning his head to the side to watch him leave. When he straightened up, he found himself face to face, or more like chest to face, with Taub, who was standing there, his head up, peering at him with a quizzical look.

House sustained his gaze, in silence, until Taub's insisting stare almost managed to make him feel uncomfortable. He narrowed his eyes, hoping to be menacing enough to chase the little doctor away. Taub shifted from foot to foot and suddenly, as he finally started to leave the room, he glanced one last time at House.

"Good to have you back," he mumbled, already half way out. "You look… fine."

Unaware of the devilish self-satisfied smile on his face, House followed Taub's trotting silhouette with his eyes until it disappeared in the corner of the hallway.

# # # # # #

"You seem great!"

"I feel great!"

"What did Russell say? How are your results? Did House see them?"

"Wilson!" Cuddy paused and looked at her friend with a disapproving pout, but barely making an effort to try and hide the smile underneath. "I'm telling you I'm great. How much more proof do you need? My results are fine. House saw them. _Everything_'s fine."

"I'm sorry," Wilson answered apologetically. "But do you realize how worried I was? For you, and for House too."

Cuddy lowered her gaze for a short moment. When she tilted her head back up, she wanted her expression to be as reassuring as she could.

"Yes, I know Wilson," she said with a soft voice. "But Greg is right, you care too much…"

"Greg?" Wilson interrupted, with an amused grin drawn on his lips.

Cuddy's cheeks briefly flushed with slight embarrassment but, choosing to avoid making any unnecessary comment, she raised her chin up, setting her lips and challenging Wilson with a stare.

"This is incredible," Wilson stated with gravity and he heaved a sigh.

"What is?"

"Well… you. I mean, you… and House… to be honest, I am in awe to see how good things are still going on between the two of you."

Cuddy's brow furrowed and she put her elbow atop her desk, cupped her chin in her hand and intensely peered at Wilson. He immediately caught her teasing gaze and he shook his hands defensively.

"Now, don't get me wrong! I'm happy for you. I'm _very_ happy for you, but if you'd asked me, I'd never have thought you'd last more than a week, actually…"

Cuddy's mouth dropped open and she puffed.

"Thank you Wilson, you're a real cheerleader, you know?"

"No… I mean… this is House and…"

"And? You think he's too good for me?" Cuddy teased.

She was really starting to enjoy seeing Wilson getting tangled up in his explanations. She sensed a feeling of glee pervade her. She was happy. Happy to be back. Happy to see her friend. Happy to be healthy. Happy with her life.

"Of course not!" Wilson exclaimed. "In fact, _you_ may be too good for him. He probably doesn't deserve you."

Cuddy smiled fondly.

"Thank you, James. But, you're stupid," she interrupted and Wilson smiled back at her. "It's not about who deserves whom. House is… not easy, that's for sure! But …" She stopped and gazed into emptiness for a split second. Then, she shook her head and planted her translucent grey eyes in Wilson's.

"I remember that, a while ago, you'd told me about House's inability to open up…" he started, cautiously.

"Maybe I was wrong…" she murmured, almost for herself, turning her head away. "I'm not that easy myself, you know, and… well…" The words got caught inside her throat. Wilson studied her affectionately.

"Are you happy?"

Cuddy almost shivered at the question. She bit her lips and nodded shyly, not daring to say it out loud, too afraid it might jeopardize the fragile, precious treasure she had finally found.

"So I take it things sort of went well for you and House in Boston?" Wilson inquired, carefully testing how far he could investigate the field.

"Yes. _Very_ well," she replied, and another smile irrepressibly formed on her lips again.

"Sure! Lots of sex. Right, ok, I see. Please don't explain... It's not like House hasn't already hinted at that anyway…" Wilson told her, faking to be shocked and annoyed.

"Yeah, sex. _Great_ sex. Make up sex is one of the best, you know," she added, enjoying Wilson's flushed face. "But…not just that. House…"

Her face suddenly became serious and Wilson caught it instantly.

"…Loves you," he said in a low voice.

Hearing the word resonate between the walls of her office gave it a strange echo and she suddenly felt the place was not appropriate to talk about that any further, even with Wilson. Besides, a quick glance at her desk, covered with an enormous pile of files that had accumulated during her absence, despite Wilson's help, made her realize she essentially needed to focus on her work now, if she wanted to have a chance to go back home before the night. She coughed and conspicuously picked up a file, which she opened in front of her.

"Ok, enough about House and me," she decreed dismissively, "I'd love to share more gossips about my sex life with you, but I'm sure it's not the sole purpose of you coming to see me in the first place. So, tell me what brings you here?"

Wilson sighed resignedly.

"I'm here about the Board meeting."

"But, it's not until next week. Can't it wait another day or two?" Cuddy puffed, unable to hide her annoyance completely. "As you can see, I have tons of things to take care of first."

"Thing is, Campbell asked to move it forward to Thursday."

"Thursday? You mean in two days?" A look of panic briefly passed on her face. "Why would he ask that?" she asked worriedly. "Is there a problem?"

Wilson's lips twitched nervously and he looked down at the floor, embarrassed.

"No, no. Not _exactly_ a problem… It's… more like…"

"Come on, Wilson, spit it out already!" she commanded, growing impatient.

Wilson took a deep breath and came closer to the edge of her desk.

"You left quite unexpectedly… Just before the budget voting sessions. The Board, with Campbell leading the movement, just wants to make sure you're still doing what needs to be done…"

It was obvious Wilson was really genuinely sorry and mostly contrite for being the one telling her about that. Cuddy tried to regain some assertiveness and straightened her shoulders proudly, clenching her jaw, as she was stomaching the implications of that hitch.

"Campbell's an ass," Wilson said with empathy.

"Yeah, but that's not new, is it?" she answered, with a bitter smile. "What does he want?"

"He wants an early presentation of the costs for the maintenance of medical equipment, before he can present his requests for his cardiology department. He says he's been asking for another gamma camera for scintigraphy procedures several times but that the budget never took his request into consideration."

"We don't need another gamma camera. Campbell's already got two in Cardiology and there's one in Neurology as well. That's just a pretext," she declared suspicious.

Wilson bit his lips, and looked down at his feet, avoiding Cuddy's inquiring gaze.

"There's more than that, right?" she insisted.

"Well, I'm not sure, but… Campbell started to complain about unnecessary costs, due to the… uhm… misuse of equipment that he says are mostly imputable to a certain doctor… claiming that the money could be saved to buy real useful medical equipment, instead of being spent to repeatedly fix the broken ones… Word is, he practically managed to convince Jenkins about this…"

Cuddy sighed heavily and cradled her face with her slender hands, rubbing her forehead with concern.

"I had lunch with Jenkins last week and told him it was a stupid reasoning that made no sense, which he knew…" Wilson added, clumsily trying to be as supportive as he could.

Cuddy raised her face up and peered at him with a tiring look.

"Thank you for the heads up, Wilson," she said with a toneless voice. "I guess I need to get ready for Thursday then. If you'll excuse me…"

"Of course!" he exclaimed, not moving a bit.

Cuddy conspicuously widened her eyes and stared at Wilson's immobile silhouette in front of her. Eventually, he realized he was still standing there, while he should have left, and jumped, before turning on his heel and walking to the door. He stopped at the threshold and turned around, facing Cuddy again.

"I'm sure you'll deal with that without any difficulty," he told her reassuringly. "But you know I'll be there with you on Thursday, so if you need anything, just tell me."

"Thank you James. I'll be fine," she answered wryly, and she lowered her face down, already focusing on her files.

Wilson left and, after a few steps into the clinic, he bumped into House's broad shoulders, as he was limping determinedly towards Cuddy's office. They both stopped and Wilson immediately noticed the happy look on his friend's face.

"Cuddy's busy," he stated dryly.

House frowned suspiciously at first but sent the oncologist a mischievously grin.

"And… I'm so happy to see you too!" he exclaimed, taking a step towards Wilson, while opening his arms widely. "You wanna give me a hug?"

Wilson stepped back, but he couldn't repress a smile.

"Stay out of my way!" he warned, pointing a menacing finger up at House's chest.

"What are you doing here?" House replied, ignoring the comment. "It's not even lunch time yet. You should be holding dying people's hands or, at least, hitting on some hot female specimen somewhere. Oh my God! Wait a minute… were you hitting on _my_ hot female specimen? I'm warning you, I've become a master at beating competition lately…"

"I know that the concept totally escapes you, but I actually had some work issues I needed to discuss with Cuddy. And, like it or not, she's also my friend and I wanted to make sure she was ok."

"I'm your friend too!" House answered with a pout. "Still, you didn't even come check on me this morning... I'm upset."

"Yeah, you're right, but your breasts are so much less attractive. So I chose to check on hers first!" Wilson retorted, almost accusingly.

House's eyes grew bigger but when he got the implied comment about Cuddy's breast lump and understood Wilson's genuine worry, his face took on a serious look.

"You could have called!" Wilson added, angrily.

"Not my boob, not my call!" House countered.

"Yeah, sure… easy excuse… I was worried."

"You're _always_ worried! Do you seriously think a phone call would have changed anything about that?"

"At least, I would have known the results were good. I'm just talking about the minimum reassuring news any friend is entitled to have, not asking for a detailed summary of your little trip together…"

"Yeah, you won't have one anyway… mature content mostly here, and sorry, but I'm not sure you're old enough to hear about that!" House answered with a wicked grin, repressing a chuckle.

"Sex. I get it, thank you! Cuddy already mentioned that part!"

A slight impressed smile flickered on House's face and he briefly turned his head towards Cuddy's office door.

"She told you that, really? Oh the little minx! See? That's why I need to see her now. She's completely insatiable… won't even leave me one minute rest." He grabbed his beeper and waved it in front of Wilson's baffled face. "She paged me. Bootie call. I can't say no, right?"

"Not sure about you, indeed, but at the risk of disappointing you, I highly doubt that it's her priority right now. I told you she was busy," Wilson said, wrinkling his nose.

"That's what she told _you_. Because you can't be of any help here, obviously! But I have some irresistible charms you know nothing about…"

"Thank God!" Wilson replied, deadpan.

House smirked and started limping away. After a few seconds, Wilson called him back.

"Hey!" House turned around and leaned forwards, resting on his cane, with both his hands atop the handle, waiting for Wilson to speak. "By the way, what is that thing you've said, about you beating competition lately?"

House flashed a roguish smile at him, as if he'd known Wilson was going to say that, as if he was almost expecting it.

"I'll tell you if you buy me lunch!" he answered.

"How can I be sure you won't just take advantage of my money and say nothing?"

"You can't." After he'd checked his watch, House started to walk away again. "1pm, in the cafeteria, ok? And I don't care who you need to bribe for that, or _how_… but there better be one big piece of chocolate fondant left for me."

"You eat dessert now?" Wilson said incredulous.

"Not dessert, _chocolate fondant_…" And, before Wilson had gotten a chance to say anything about that cryptic comment, House had already disappeared behind Cuddy's door.

# # # # # #

"Hi there, sexy boss!" he said cheerfully, stepping into her office.

Cuddy raised her head and smiled half-heartedly. "Something wrong?" she asked, assuming the worst.

House immediately noticed her weary look but decided to ignore it. "Nope! You paged me?" He asked, with a mischievous smile.

"No, I didn't. House, you better have a reason to be here, I'm busy."

"Case solved!" he exclaimed, almost joyfully. "My patient has MS. It's sad, but there's no diagnosis mystery, which means I have nothing to do now…"

"Nooo, your patient doesn't have MS. Foreman tested her yesterday. The lab's results are in her file…"

"Really?"

"House, did you read the file?" she asked, sighing.

"Of course I did!"

"Then _why_ are you here if you already know this is not MS…"

"You're right: I already knew it was not MS," he confessed, walking around her desk and coming close to her, standing behind her chair. He put his hands on her shoulders and got confirmation that she was indeed tense.

"What do you want?" she asked, tilting her head backwards a little nonetheless and stretching her neck to offer her skin to his hands.

"You know I have a thing for this blue low cut top you're wearing… so I was thinking about you… and about all the make-out possibilities that this Grand Canyon view of the twins could offer…"

"Please, tell me you're not here for the reason I think you're here," she said, stiffening.

"I'm not here for the reason you think I'm here… I'm here for much more than just that…"

He slid his hands from the round shape of her shoulders down to the hem of her cleavage. Her muscles imperceptibly relaxed under his touch and he felt it. He leaned down, and brushed his lips against the warm skin of her neck. Although she was undeniably giving in to his kisses, Cuddy still found the strength to push him away from her, rather firmly.

"House! Go treat your patient."

"My diagnosing offspring is taking care of that for me as we speak… or make out… it's up to you!"

"Please," she pleaded. "I have no time for this right now."

Without answering, he slowly started to move his hands around her shoulders and massage the tense muscles of her back. He pressed his thumbs on the nape of her neck and she jolted upwards, arching her back on her chair. A moan came out from the depth of her throat and she dropped her pen on the top of her desk, tipping her head back.

"It's official," House said, carrying on with his relaxing rubdowns. "I told my team they could screw up any procedure they like, and that I would happily get into your pants to redeem their misbehaviors if needed."

Cuddy instantly grabbed House's hands and tugged them away from her neck. She jumped on her feet and stood right in front of him, staring fiercely at him.

"You're joking, right?" she said curtly, fuming with contained rage. "Tell me you didn't tell them _that_?!"

House seized her by the waist and yanked her inside his arms.

"Of course I didn't tell them that!" he protested, with a roguish smile betraying his mood nonetheless. "On the contrary, I specifically told them I was the only one allowed to ball up medical procedures and that you and me humping each other didn't buy them any free pass to do the same."

Cuddy's eyes widened in astonishment and she wiggled in his arms to set herself free from his embrace. She took a few steps away and glared at him with a baffled and upset look on her face.

"House! For God's sake, are you out of your mind?"

"What? I thought we'd agreed to tell the truth."

"The truth? What _truth_? That's how you see it? You think having sex with me is what gets you a free pass to do whatever crazy things your twisted mind will come up to? "

House narrowed his eyes, intrigued, and studied her, while she was flushing with anger.

"I was joking," he said carefully. "Obviously not really something you're in a mood to understand this morning."

"You're absolutely right! I'm not in the mood for that kind of jokes. At all!" she answered, yelling "And first of all, this is not a joke! That's not helping House! I… I…" She stopped in the middle of her sentence and plunged her face in her open palms, taking a couple of deep breaths.

"I bet this has to do with whatever crap Wilson came to tell you, am I right?" he asked, bitterly.

Cuddy lifted her head and looked up at him with concern.

"What is it?" he demanded, with a voice that definitely left no room for joke any longer.

She sighed heavily and took a step towards him. House took advantage of it and brought her back inside his arms before she got any chance to protest. He felt her resisting at first, until she unwound and let herself go against his chest.

"I have a board meeting in two days. I wasn't supposed to have it so early and it's a lot of extra work…"

This time it was House's turn to step back and look at her quizzically.

"Extra work never scared you. It never made you bitchy either, at least not for any reason…"

"House," she said jadedly, "I need you to do your job. I certainly don't need you to strut about our relationship and even less it being professionally convenient for you…"

"What are you talking about?" House exclaimed. "First of all, excuse me, but I'm not really sure I'm the one strutting about our relationship, if that's a new metaphorical way of saying sexual exploits…"

Cuddy's mouth feel agape and she stared at him quizzically.

"Yeah, yeah, you bragging little minx, who flaunted our sex life in Wilson's innocent face; I just met him in the clinic, he was shocked, possibly traumatized…"

A slight smile flickered on Cuddy's lips and she repressed it before it grew bigger.

"Wilson is our friend. And I barely told him what he'd perfectly already guessed by himself… But things are different with your team. You can't make any allusion like the ones you've made…"

House grabbed her wrist and tugged her towards him.

"Cuddy, don't blame me for something _you_'ve been doing since long before you and I got together." He promptly put his finger on her half-opened mouth to silence her before she would protest. "This is not about me bragging about us. I don't do that. And I won't. What I told my team is nothing other than the confirmation of something they already knew. As to me bending the rules to do my job, they perfectly know that as well. That's not new. And the fact that you've never really put a definite end to that isn't either. You've always tolerated that from me because you know I'm good at my job. The benefit of having me as a doctor in your hospital is worth a thousand times the little drawbacks I occasionally throw into your Dean's inbox, forcing you to deal with my crap. I just stated a fact and that's all. What I also said that you didn't seem to have acknowledged is that, now that you and I have made an official coming out, I clearly specified to my team that nothing was going to change and that I wouldn't use our relationship to help save their asses if they screwed up doing their jobs. I don't see why you have a problem with that."

Cuddy had listened without batting an eyelid and now, she was feeling terrible. House was right, like he always, often, was. Actually, he had handled the situation, in his own inimitable way, but with undeniable responsibility and she felt really stupid for being unfair to him, without giving him the benefit of the doubt first.

"I'm sorry," she said remorsefully, with a low voice. "You're right…"

House wound his arms around her waist and pressed her body along his possessively.

"When am I not?" he teased, frowning down at her.

She smacked him on the side of his arm.

"Don't push your luck. I'm won't cover your ass either if you're not doing your job properly."

"It's not gonna happen because I'm always doing my job properly. More than properly actually. I'm doing my job _brilliantly_ and you know that. It's the reason why you hired me in the first place. Because you knew I was the best doctor in town…"

"You're so full of yourself," Cuddy said, chuckling, while House confidently leaned down and began to kiss her, nibbling at her bottom lip impishly. "Mmm," she mumbled between his teeth, pushing him back with unconvinced strength. "Stop. I need to work."

House completely ignored her request and slid his hands under the soft fabric of her blue top instead, climbing underneath and caressing the silky skin of the small of her back with the tip of his fingers. Cuddy grasped the hems of his shirt and tugged at it, first to bring him closer to her, deepening the kiss in a brief, passionate, unexpected reaction and then, she suddenly pushed him away, with as much unexpected, resolute, energy.

"Go back to your office," she ordered, panting. "I need to work on my presentation and you have a patient to diagnose."

"But what about all that crazy sex you told Wilson about?" House asked, smiling mischievously. Cuddy shook her head 'no' and sat down on her chair, grabbing a file. "Oh!" House exclaimed, faking to be appalled. "So that was only a legend? I'm so outraged!"

Cuddy briefly lifted her face up and gave him a 'you won't drag me there' look. House raised his chin up and seized his cane, which was rested against her desk.

"You know, I liked you better when you were in Boston," he pouted, accusingly. And without any further comment, but with a satisfied smile, he started to walk towards the exit.

"House?" Cuddy called after him, with a hesitant voice. "You didn't even tell me why you came here for…"

He stopped and slowly turned to face her. He took his time to peer at her, longingly, until he could hear her breathing speeding up.

"I didn't have any particular reason. I just wanted to see you. Why? Is there a problem with that too?" he asked, a little provokingly.

Cuddy fiddled with her pen between her fingers and bit her lips; then, she lowered her gaze, visibly wanting to hide her face to him.

"Nope!" she answered.

And, just from the sound of her voice, he could tell she was smiling.

* * *

**A/N**

_It's been such a looooooooong time. Again. Awfully long actually. But, just so you know, spring hates me. that's usually the period of the year where I'm the most busy, even if, saying that, I realize it's also true for fall, and most of the winter as well… LOL_

_Anyway! right now I'm on vacation, and you know what's crazy? I still deal with work issues, all the same… well you'd say: who cares? that's not relevant…_

_You're right, I'm not here to find myself excuses. Thing is I'm not enough of an octopus to do everything I'd love to do. I'd need more arms, more hands, more brain… and most of all, more time!_

_BUT! I still found some to write this new chapter and I wanted it to be longer, but I was so impatient to reconnect with you that I couldn't wait any longer and decided to post it like that. _

_Even during my past weeks of silence, I still received a lot of story alerts and I wanted to thank everyone for adding me, or my story, into their lists of favorite. That's incredible! And a real rewarding feeling._

_Thank you to the silent readers who dared to crawl out of their holes and sent me some amazing messages during that period too. I'd promised I'd do a shout out to them and I am, because that really touched me A LOT._

"_En mai, fais ce qu'il te plait!" H__ave a nice day! ~ Maya_


	67. Chapter 67

_Hi everyone! _

_Still reading this? I hope I haven't lost too many of you. I miss you! and I truly hope you're still enjoying this… _

_I tried to add this new part as fast as I could after the previous one, considering the crazy busy month I just had, but still, I know it was a long period of time, and then, I don't think you really paid attention, because you were all busy drinking happy cocktails of bliss in Huddy Heaven… Am I right? :-)_

_Well if you were not, can I just say that I was! because personally, I'm on cloud nine since May, 17th and if it means anything positive at all, I think it gave me inspiration to write some new stories (one shots mostly)…_

_So expect to hear from me in the next few weeks! _

_Now on to the NEW CHAPTER, where something about Wilson is revealed… And, we get to have a first glimpse at how things are going to be now that our "no longer secret couple" is back in PPTH full time…_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 67 ****

"So, apart from the sex, did you at least do something, or did you and Yoko Ono just stay in bed the whole time?"

House shook his head disapprovingly and pushed the two French fries soaked with ketchup inside his mouth.

"I wouldn't want to sound like I'm teaching you anything, ladies' man," he mumbled, with his mouth full, "but you know you don't necessarily need to be in a bed to…"

"Fine. Stop! I get it!" Wilson exclaimed, waving his hands frantically in front of him, to brush House's graphic allusions away.

"Hey! _You_ started it. I think it's time for you to face it."

"What?"

"You need to go out there and get some too! I can't be your Kama Sutra substitute for the rest of your life. It would guarantee you great orgasms, though, but sadly they'd only be unreal… not that it's something you aren't familiar with already."

Wilson burst into a loud extravagant laughter, which stopped just after a few seconds, as abruptly as it had started. From the nearest tables, some heads turned in their direction and Wilson gave a quick, discomfited glance around him, as if he was apologizing for his unexpected outburst that seemed to have surprised even himself. House froze for a short moment, and studied his friend's face, a little bit startled.

"What's her name?" he suddenly inquired out of the blue.

"Whoa… What? What's _whose_ name?" Wilson stuttered, taken aback.

"Come on! Don't be intentionally thick: the name of your new girlfriend of course!"

"I have no new girlfriend!"

"You have that dumb look on your face."

"Thank you!"

"AND... You just laughed at my joke."

"Usually, that's what people do…"

"No. Not at _MY_ jokes. And certainly not hysterically like you just did. People usually make a face. Shocked, disgusted, appalled-"

"Because you have an appalling sense of humor. But, strangely, I'm fine with it!"

"No. It wasn't even a good one."

"Ok. So what? Now you're gonna follow me everywhere I go until you find out who I'm secretly seeing in the janitor's closet, because I laughed at one of your lousy joke?"

"OH!" House exclaimed, pointing his finger at Wilson. "So it's someone from the hospital!"

Wilson looked down and shifted uncomfortably on his chair.

"House!" he protested meekly.

"You said '_janitor's closet'_, while you could have said hotel room or, your car backseat or, I don't know… But no, you mentioned the janitor's closet instead…"

"I'm secretly seeing NO ONE in the janitor's closet," Wilson emphasized with the energy of despair. "I have an apartment. I have a bed… or… a couch."

"Ooh! Look who's being exotic now!" House mocked a wicked grin illuminating his face.

"Why do you care anyway? You're with Cuddy now. Why couldn't I be in a relationship?"

"Ha! So you're admitting there IS someone!"

Wilson heaved a deep, defeated sigh and lowered his head down to his plate.

"Ok, maybe I'm…"

"Who is she?" House interrupted with eagerness.

"That's not important-"

"You don't want to tell?" House's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my God! This is serious!"

Wilson puffed with annoyance.

"We just met. I, we… I mean, we only had one date so far-"

"Is she a nurse? Which department?"

"House!"

"Come on! Just one clue! Give me the floor, at least!"

Wilson couldn't suppress the smile on his face.

"Second floor," he challenged.

"I was right! She's a nurse."

"Nope!"

"Well, ok, _nursery_ nurse, but that's the same! It's just that there's this little extra smoothness to her, right? Coz her skin smells like baby shampoo, instead of old bandages. God! You're so predictable…"

"Except you're wrong, because she's not a nurse. Of any kind."

House frowned and rubbed his chin skeptically.

"Mmm, not a nurse… interesting… Oh my God!" he suddenly exclaimed. "Don't tell me she's a patient here!"

Wilson shook in head, baffled.

"Why the hell would you want-"

"Hah! Like it never happened before! ICU is on the second floor, and you have a sort of sick liking for dying people."

"I don't have a liking for dying people!" Wilson strongly objected.

"Yeah, you forgot about that cancer girl you shamelessly banged between her chemo sessions, a few years ago."

Wilson puffed, visibly disturbed by the memory.

"That was a mistake, ok? You think you were doing better with your hookers?"

"At least, they were healthy," House countered, not in the least embarrassed.

"She's a gynecologist!" Wilson practically shouted, almost angrily. "Now, you happy?"

An awkward silence ensued and House's eyes widened in disbelief, since the only female gynecologist in the hospital he could remember of was Dr. Kendra Wood, a nearly sixty year-old, little pest, who was the absolute opposite of any, even very lenient, concept of sexiness. Wilson was no fool, and it didn't take him long to read through House's perplexed face.

"I'm really touched by your concern, but I'm not that desperate," he told House. "Dr. Wood is not the only female gynecologist in the hospital. At least, not anymore. Erin has joined the OB Gyn department almost six months ago, which you'd know if you'd care to wander round farther than the ground floor and Cuddy's office sometimes."

House narrowed his eyes and smiled.

"She's thirty six, divorced. No kid," Wilson added. "She's witty. She's funny."

"What's her name?"

"Samberg, why?"

"And she's Jew! Wow, you almost hit the jack pot. Too bad she's lousy in bed."

"Huh? What makes you think that?"

"Because you crave details about my sex life too much. You're obviously frustrated."

"I'm not frustrated, Erin and I… uh… we…"

"Oh, you mean, you haven't scored yet!"

"House! This is not about _scoring_. We're not in High School anymore. And I… kinda like her… She's the first woman I'm interested in since Amber… I don't want to rush things."

House theatrically nodded.

"Man, I'm impressed!" he said, snatching some fries from Wilson's plate and dipping them in ketchup. "When are you two planning on getting it on?"

"I don't know. That's not something I usually _plan,_" Wilson said defensively.

"Can I go to the second floor and ask her then?"

"She isn't going to give you an answer because she doesn't plan it, either."

"Pfft, if that's what you think then you're stupid. Why do you think women always wear the perfectly sexy underwear the moment it happens?" House asked, waggling his eyebrows playfully.

"What is the purpose of this conversation anyway?" Wilson puffed, growing upset.

"Annoy you and make you feel uncomfortable, obviously!" House said, holding back a chuckle. "I missed doing that in Boston, you know; even if I annoy Cuddy, to,o sometimes, but… I certainly don't make her feel uncomfortable, if you know what I mean."

Wilson sighed resignedly and shook his head.

"Yeah, that'd be hard for me not to know that now…"

House grabbed his soda and drank a few sips out of the can. Wilson seized this short moment of silence as an opportunity to regain control over a situation he was beginning to find a little bit too slippery for his taste.

"How's Russell?" he said with a quite surprisingly new-found self-assurance.

"What do you mean, how's Russell?" House asked, putting the can back on the tray and hardly managing to hide his surprise.

"Well… The guy that took care of Cuddy, isn't his name Russell?"

House briefly looked away and clenched his jaws at the memory of the annoying doctor that had upset him so much.

"Yeah," he groaned through clenched teeth. "But he didn't _take care_ of Cuddy. He handled her case… that's all…"

"Oh-ho!" Wilson chuckled jubilantly. "The competition… that was _him_!"

House turned his head back in his direction and glowered at him.

"Duh! Give me a break!" he protested, rolling his eyes. "That guy was hardly threatening."

Wilson's eyes opened wide in astonishment and he stared at House quizzically.

"Wow! So this is serious… What happened?" he said, genuinely concerned.

"Nothing. Nothing happened, that's all."

"No, no, no! _Something_ happened… Something that got you pissed and… Oh!" Wilson stopped in the middle of his sentence and stared at House, flabbergasted.

House straightened up in his chair, challengingly, visibly waiting to hear his friend's epiphany. Wilson's mouth was still opened, his lips shaped in the "O" of surprise.

"Did they…" he started, really fighting to find his words, "sss…sleep together?… I mean have sss…"

House shot daggers at him.

"Are you goddamn stupid?" he said, shocked.

"Well, I don't know," Wilson defended himself. "You said you beat competition…"

"Yeah, exactly, I said I _beat_ competition, I didn't say anything about _murdering_ it…"

House stopped and stared knowingly at his friend. He'd just acknowledged how territorial he was about Cuddy and how jealous he could get if any other man came too close to her. They both smiled at the significance of the innuendo, knowing at the same time that it went beyond the simple appearances of the joke.

"So how many ribs did he lose in the fight?" Wilson asked, amused.

"Who said we had to fight?"

"Oh… so you only had to pee around Cuddy to mark your territory and that was enough to deter him from coming close to your female!" Wilson teased with a broad grin.

"Haha, very funny... I told you: nothing happened!"

"Then I don't get where there is competition at all!" Wilson said, baffled. "Unless you consider being a male enough a competition to begin with…"

"I don't know, introduce me to your girlfriend and you may find out."

"Don't change the subject! I'm sure that Russell guy did more than what you care to admit. We had a deal. And I paid for your lunch; so now you're not going anywhere until you say what it is."

House raised his chin up and looked over Wilson's shoulder, a mischievous smile forming on the corner of his lips.

"STD panel is clean," Kutner said, approaching the table swiftly. He stopped and stood just beside Wilson, facing House. "But Epstein Barr tests positive…"

House promptly got off his chair and looked at Wilson, smiling victoriously.

"Oops, sorry, have to go!" he said, with obvious bliss.

Wilson didn't even raise his head while House strode away, following Kutner, with a big smile on his face. After a few seconds, he looked at House's tray and grabbed his dessert, an appetizing Chocolate fondant he hadn't even touched. He took one bite and couldn't repress a slight moan of pleasure. Realizing that a young nurse seated at the next table was staring at him, he held his spoon up to her and smiled confidently at her, before he pushed down another bite through his lips. After all, there was no reason why he couldn't enjoy a good dessert or that look of mischief on the young woman's face.

# # # # # # #

The day went by slowly. House's patient wasn't in a really serious condition, which was something he perfectly already knew, Epstein Barr being more a pretext to escape Wilson's annoying questions than anything else, since it was just a confirmation that she had mononucleosis, a benign viral infection that explained her latest fatigue. So far she was holding up great and House was practically certain she had absolutely nothing except an understandable minor baby blues and, as he was in an exceptionally good mood, he was ready to grant her a well-deserved rest by keeping her a little longer in her hospital bed, testing her for completely unnecessary medical reasons, while she would let the nurses pamper her.

However, around six in the evening, he really found no more valid reasons to stay in the hospital and decided to talk Cuddy into leaving her work behind and follow him to his place. She would never admit it, but he knew she had probably unconsciously persuaded herself that she had to do all the paperwork for a whole month ahead at least, to make up for her absence during the past week. House was of course absolutely convinced that it was stupid, and above all pointless, and he strongly intended to make her agree with him.

She resisted at first, of course, and House knew she would. That was almost like a game for him. A game he was sure to win. Cuddy told him to leave and that she would join him at his place, later in the evening, right after she'd have finished one or two minor things she had to deal with. _Minor things_… House smiled and stubbornly stood right in front of her, conspicuously tapping his cane on the floor. She sighed and lifted her head.

"You're not going to leave, are you?" she asked resignedly.

"Nope!"

"House! I have a report to…"

"Yeah a report, a memo, a phone call, that's endless! And as long as you stay here, I'm pretty sure you'll find something to do. So just stop and come home with me now."

"But…" She tried to keep a serious face and a firm voice, but deep inside her, she was already giving up, hearing him say the word "home" making her irrepressibly melt. House saw her resistance weaken and he took advantage of it to grab her coat on the coat rack and then he swiftly walked round her desk and stared down compellingly at her, his hips almost pressed again her shoulder.

"Get up!" he commanded, smiling, holding out the coat for her.

She helplessly pointed down to a file and looked up at him again, already defeated, but trying to resist a little longer nonetheless, just for the sake of it.

"Forget about Campbell," House added, confidently pushing the file away from her grab on one side of her desk. "He doesn't deserve the time you spend dealing with his shit. Tomorrow's another day. You'll have plenty of time to kick his ass then."

Cuddy widened her eyes, baffled.

"How do you know it's about Campbell?"

House gave her his best smartass grin.

"You were all tensed this morning when I came to see you. Usually board meetings don't put you under such pressure, unless some ass doctor suddenly thought he could plot a little putsch and throw some crappy threat at you to push a request for his department…"

Cuddy stood up and stared at him with a slight impressed look. House smiled and, while carrying on, he made her turn around to help her put her coat on.

"And, I know only two real ass doctors in this hospital," he said, not letting go of her coat's lapels and keeping her wrapped inside his arms, her back pressed against his chest. Then he leaned over her shoulder and whispered in her ear. "And since you're sleeping with one of them, which means, I clearly don't need to use threat to have whatever I want for my department, I guess it only leaves Campbell."

Cuddy wriggled a little and turned around inside his arms to face him. She tipped her head up and planted her steel grey eyes in his gaze.

"You know you're right, you're really an ass," she said with an angry edge to her voice. "And maybe I should sleep with Campbell too, if it could save me the inconvenience of dealing with his crap for this one board meeting, eh? What do you think of _that_?"

"Whoa, Whoa! Why are you making such a fuss about that board meeting? What is this all about?"

Lisa Cuddy bit her lips and pushed with her palms flat on his chest to set herself free. Finally, she took a step back and she stared at him for some endless suspended seconds. She sighed heavily, closing her eyes, and when she opened them again, a tired smile formed on the corner of her lips.

"Let's go home, ok?" she said, dismissively, making it clear that the subject was close and she didn't want to talk about it any longer.

House narrowed his eyes suspiciously but he didn't insist. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and brought her close to him.

"Pizza?" he suggested, starting to walk towards the door, pulling her with him.

But, when he opened the door, Cuddy imperceptibly stiffened and he felt her resisting ever so slightly, as if she was hesitating to step outside of her office and into the clinic with his arm conspicuously wrapped around her. House felt it and he clenched his jaw but he let go of her, stopping at the threshold and faking to search for something inside his pocket. She stopped, too, and waited but he held his chin up and motioned her to keep walking.

"Go on, I'll catch up with you," he told her with a forced smile.

Cuddy lowered her head ashamed knowing that, despite her true and sincere will to make her relationship official, she was still feeling uneasy at the idea of being seen with a man inside her hospital, let it alone be House. She knew House had perceived it and it made her felt terrible but she couldn't help it, so she kept striding along, distancing him within a few steps. He watched her go and when he thought she was far enough to feel comfortable again, he closed the door of her office behind him and started to walk towards the exit too, keeping the pang of hurt that had clutched his chest for himself, not really able to erase it from his face though. When he joined her at the front door, she gave him a quick side glance and she pushed the door open to step outside. He followed after her and without a warning she turned around to face him, forcing him to stop.

"I'm sorry," she said in a low voice. "It's just that, I'm not used to it yet… I…"

"That's ok," he cut her off, half-lying, trying to smile.

People were walking around them, in and out the hospital: patients' family, employees, men and women, going in every direction. Cuddy looked at them pacing hurriedly towards their cars or the bus station, or inside the hospital lobby, and she realized nobody was paying attention. She felt suddenly stupid and a mischievous smile flickered on her lips. House raised an eyebrow, intrigued, but when he saw her take a decided step towards him and forcing her way under his arm, so that he wrapped her shoulders with it again, he smiled widely and stuck his chest out, proudly.

Cuddy took a deep breath and she tilted her head slightly to the side, resting her temple on his shoulder.

"Let's go," she said. "I'm starving."

They walked side by side toward the parking lot, ignoring the very few people who dared to follow them with their eyes.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_I don't have anything to say, really, just that I am HAPPY!_

_It feels great to be looking forward to a season that, as I envision it, will certainly be a lot lighter, more playful and fun than the gloomy one we've just been through. However, when you look back, season 6 was, in my opinion, extremely powerful and I think it will gain in strength and meaning with time. Anyway, I'm glad I've kept my faith all season, because the reward tasted even more delightful…_

_And btw, if I may add this non-related info, for those who read my Huddy reviews, don't worry: I'll write the review for HELP ME soon! I just need to put my thoughts down on paper! LOL it's there, brewing inside my head since last week and I still haven't had one minute to write. But I will, I promise…_

_In the meantime, I wrote this chapter, so that kinda makes up for it a bit, right? :-)_

_Anyway, have a great day! ~ maya_


	68. Chapter 68

_Hi everybody! _

_NEW CHAPTER! Where it's all about House and Cuddy nonchalantly relaxing at "home"… or is it? ;)_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 68 ****

Once they arrived at his place, they both tossed their coats off and got rid of their shoes, before slouching down in the couch and snuggling up in each other's arms with a fit that felt so natural they had now renounced to question it rationally. Cuddy closed her eyes and moaned in delight, savoring the appeasing effect of their joined stillness, only cradled by the waving up and down movement of House's chest underneath her cheek. But after a few minutes, he wiggled cautiously to release one hand free, with which he took the phone next to him to call the pizza delivery service.

"One giant pepperoni and cheese, please," he ordered into the receiver. Cuddy instantly tried to straighten up and looked up at him with a warning gaze, but he maintained her wrapped inside his arm, close to his chest and, staring playfully down at her, he added, "Oh and, throw in a small one with vegetables too… that's right, vegetables!" Cuddy thwacked him on the side of his arm. "Ouch!... and, I mean _just_ vegetables. Yeah, you heard me: no cheese… I know!" House exclaimed, theatrically. Cuddy shook her head and sighed, but a small smile was already drawing on her lips. "But what can you do? … Hell no! That one's not for me… Who would eat that, right? … Yeah, the skinny lady… Oh, but believe me, not so skinny… Ha! Tell me about it! …"

Cuddy looked up at him and frowned, with an exaggerated and deliberate look of annoyance, as if saying: "Hey! I'm right here, in case you haven't noticed!" House looked down at her and beamed. Then, after a few more words, he finally hung up the phone.

"You know Gianni secretly hates you," he said, still beaming. "I think he's utterly convinced you hold some kind of grudge against his country or something…"

"That's funny, I wast under the impression that you two weren't talking about his country at all," she replied, narrowing her eyes at him.

"And yet, it was all about the breathtaking beauty of curvaceous hills and valleys…" House told her, chuckling mischievously.

"Yeah right!" Cuddy pouted. "I've never been to Italy," she added after a beat, with a hoarse voice.

"Oh, really?" House mocked playfully. "Not even for one of those international supposedly medical conventions you sometimes pretend to attend?"

"I don't pretend, I…" Cuddy started, but stopped when she saw House's expecting teasing look, enjoying her touchy reaction. She puffed and rolled her eyes. "I never went there for a conference or anything anyway, but actually," she added, her voice becoming low, "I wasn't talking about work…"

House straightened up and arched his eyebrows incredulously.

"Are you saying," a genuinely fulfilled smile flickered on his lips, "you'd want us to take a trip together? I mean, aside from me chasing you down in Boston."

"Shut up!" she said, and lowered her gaze, sulking.

"Seriously?" He wasn't giving up and held her chin up with his finger, forcing her to look up at him again. "You know I could take you to your words," he tantalized.

Her eyes instantly glittered with greedy expectations.

"Really?"

"I don't know. I have to get used to the idea first. I mean, you, all on my jocks, 24/7, in faraway, romantic places that would get you insatiably horny, with no one to disturb us? Uhm," he mumbled, rubbing his cheek, and barely hiding his smile.

Cuddy stared at him, struck dumb with bliss for a moment and then, she sighed and nuzzled his chest.

"That'd be great, wouldn't it?" she whispered. "But, unfortunately, that's just wishful thinking."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, right now, we can't go anywhere anyway. There're too many things to deal with here, and…" She averted her gaze, and House squinted at her.

"Relax," he said, in a soft voice.

"I'm relaxed." She protested, in a tone that was saying the exact opposite.

"Not really," he simply stated. "But I know something that can…"

"House! The pizza guy is going to be here any minute now. We don't have enough time to-"

He looked down at her and let out a spontaneous laugh, completely won over by the way she had just very seriously rationalized their possible lovemaking.

"I'm not talking about that, you sex maniac!"

"Oh. Ok then," she answered, pursing her lips to hide her slight disappoinment.

She looked so adorable. Truth be said, if the pizza delivery guy wasn't actually going to show up soon, House would have made love to her right there and then. He sighed and sat up straight, pushing her gently aside in the process.

"I know a secret that you don't-"

"And that's supposed to relax me?" she exclaimed, sounding already worried. She shifted on the couch to face him and furrowed her brows.

He smiled reassuringly at her. "Trust me, it will!" he said, winking mischievously at her. "I'll tell you what it is, if you return me the favor…"

"What favor?" she instantly asked, suspiciously.

"I thought you would've asked about the secret first."

She paused and squinted at him. He could see he had hooked her by the way she seemed to already weigh her options.

"Nuh-uh" she said, with a bit of playfulness in her voice, "I know a lot of secrets too and odds are I already know yours, if there is one anyway. So if you wanna bargain with me, tell me your price first."

She held her chin up, defiantly, and he smiled victoriously at her. He'd just gotten her interested enough in finding out to divert her mind from her current stress and it was all he was looking for.

"One hour of relaxing massage," he stated.

"Your leg hurts?" she instantly asked, worry resurfacing in her tone.

"Will you forget about my leg for a minute?" he faked to protest. "Who said I was talking about that?" He added impishly.

"Oh-oh, right. Thirty minutes then," she countered, without missing a beat. "I don't know if your secret is worth an entire hour."

"No, no, no, this is not negotiable. You don't get to decide the worthiness of this _shocking_ news!" he said, exaggeratedly widening his eyes.

"What guarantee do I have that this is not going to be a bubble burst in the end?"

"Because I said: _return me_ the favor. So it's a win-win: you get both the secret _and_ the massage!"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes and scratched her chin.

"Tell me, why do I have the feeling that you're trying to screw with me?" she asked.

"Stop trying to rationalize. I'm the one doing that, remember? You only bask in the utopia of saving the word…"

She smiled softly.

"I thought, actually, that was the opposite…"

"Whatever!" he interrupted her. "We're just making a deal: I'm telling you a secret and you give me a massage in return. You should just enjoy the fact that I'm willing to throw in a free one for you too, instead of wondering if I have an agenda."

"Well, I know you," she said matter-of-factly.

"Ok, I do have an agenda! I want you to relax. And if you must know, I'm not doing that for you, at all. My only goal is me and my personal comfort. I don't want to sleep next to a body stiff as a stick, that's all."

She stared at him with a fond gaze, melting at the vision of his sulky face, trying to hide his genuine care for her and her well-being in such an irresistible way. That was in moments exactly like this one that she knew without the shadow of a doubt why she was in love with _him_.

"Give me your feet!" House commanded, putting her legs together and pulling them on his lap.

"You want me to massage your feet?" she exclaimed with slight bafflement, indirectly referring to the reciprocity of their deal.

"No, _I_ want to massage _yours_. In case you didn't notice, these are your feet there, and here, are my hands," he said teasingly, grabbing one of her slender bare feet in his hands and starting to rub the sole with his thumbs.

Cuddy immediately threw her head back on the couch's backrest and took a sharp breath, squeezing a lascivious moan in her throat. As she closed her eyes, turning her focus inward to enjoy the delightful sensation fully, House studied her fondly, continuing to apply gentle pressures on her sore feet. He was already feeling her whole legs undeniably mellowing out under his touch.

"So, what's this infamous secret you wanna share?" she asked, with her eyes still closed, smiling at nothing in particular, just visibly feeling good.

"You didn't tell me you'd hired another OB-Gyn," House started.

Cuddy's eyes popped open and she turned her head to look at him, startled.

"This is about me?" she asked, sounding as much upset as she seemed to be surprised.

"What?"

House let go of his grab and stared at her, intrigued and a little bit panicked. Why would she assume that the mention of the OB-Gyn was related to her?

Cuddy sighed heavily.

"House, I'm not pregnant," she said right away, registering his unnerved gaze with an involuntary pang of sadness.

He continued to stare at her, waiting for her complete, rational, explanation to make sense.

"I…" she began, stammering embarrassingly. "I just arranged an appointment with her to… well, because…"

"Because what?"

"I am considering quitting the pill… to have an IUD put in instead," she quickly added, before House's eyes would pop out of his orbits, she thought. "I wanted to do that for a while now, but these past… weeks… I was…"

"Distracted?" he suggested, smiling, as he seemed to have loosened up again at the obvious harmless, even touching, misreading of the whole situation.

"Gruber's never really been my regular gynecologist," she simply stated, uncomfortably bringing back a name she'd rather forget. "I didn't feel like making an appointment with him for that…"

Without a word, House took one of her feet back inside his hands and began to massage it softly once again. Cuddy acknowledged that as a sign that he'd read underneath her words and was not going to ask for any more details. She stared at him with a grateful, almost longing gaze and tilted her head backward again to enjoy the sensation of his expert hands unwinding her body in such a perfect way.

"I trust Erin," she said huskily, after a short moment of perfect silence. "Dr Samberg, I mean. She's good, you know." She straightened up to add, with evident pride in her voice: "I stole her to Johns Hopkins eight months ago."

"Yeah, good for you!" he said, faking indifference but, he couldn't contain his proud smile either.

"She seems like a nice girl. You know her?"

"Me? No, _not_ _yet_. But, I know someone who does." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ooh!" she exclaimed, suddenly understanding the implied comment, "Who? Come on, do tell!"

"Umm, I don't know… Well, imagine they're having babies… how are we gonna call them? _Gyn__**on**__cologists_?" His smile broadened and he waited for her to react, which she did almost instantly.

"Wilson?" she exclaimed, her jaw dropping at the revelation.

House was still conscientiously massaging her feet and he nodded his silent approval.

"Wilson and Erin? Wow, that's-"

"Incredible?"

"No, I mean, great!" She paused for a second and studied House's impassible face. "Coz, it's… great, right?"

"Can't tell. Wilson said he hasn't banged her yet!" House answered, deadpan.

"Really? Damn! That's too bad, considering that's _exactly_ what I was referring to!" she said, without missing a beat, and rolling her eyes at him.

"Oh, you meant the fact that he's over cut-throat bitch now?"

Cuddy shook her head.

"Yes. Not sure I'd have phrased it like that, though."

"They just met," House commented, almost with a jealous, defensive edge to his voice, and it brought a smile on Cuddy's lips.

"Oh come on!" she chuckled. "There's a beginning to everything. Maybe it will work, maybe it won't, but the important thing is that Wilson is finally trying to move on. And we should be happy for him that he is, don't you think?"

House pouted and didn't answer. Cuddy freed her feet from his grab and she repositioned herself on the couch to come closer to him. He let her approach and she gently caressed his stubble with the tip of her fingers and then, teasingly smiled at him.

"This is not about sharing a secret to relax _me_," she said, non-judgmentally, but with sparkles of mischief in her eyes. "_You_ are the one stressed over this news. You're afraid you're gonna lose Wilson if he starts seeing another woman, just like you were scared when he first started to date Amber. And you wanted to bring this up because _you_ needed someone to talk about it."

House remained silent and simply rolled his eyes in disapprobation.

"House," Cuddy said softly, coming closer to his face. "Wilson is your friend and no woman is going to change that."

He let an indistinct grunt of protestation, which made her chuckle irresistibly.

"Look at us. We're together and it didn't change your friendship with Wilson," she went on, with a purring voice.

"Yes, it did."

She pulled back a little and studied him, surprised.

"What do you mean it did?" she asked, puzzled.

"I mean…" He took a deep breath and brushed her jaw line with his fingers gently. "I want to be with you… not Wilson…"

"But you want to be with Wilson, too," she objected. "You _can _be with Wilson, too. _That _hasn't changed!"

"Maybe. But, perhaps I want to be with you _more_…" He looked away, almost embarrassed.

This uneasy confession made her literally melt.

"Aww!" she said, with a fond smile. "And that's what worries you? You're afraid you're going to grow away from Wilson _because of me_?"

He stared intensely at her, not really knowing what to answer, or how to answer it. When he was looking at her like he was in that instant, it made him plainly aware that he had now reached a terrifying point where he was incapable of imagining himself without her. Did he really have to tell her _that_? Or were her eyes trying to tell him that she already knew? Cuddy slowly leaned towards his face and kissed him, softly. He slid his hand behind her head and he cupped the nape of her neck, pulling her closer. She let out a slight moan escape through her lips and she deepened their kiss, her tongue searching for his, and her hands tugging at his tee-shirt. Just when he was about to start exploring the voluptuous curves she was rubbing against him by slipping his hand underneath her shirt, the doorbell rang and they both instantly froze, removing their hands away from whatever dangerous places they were about to travel around.

"Pizza guy!" Cuddy said, huskily catching her breath, as she jumped out of the sofa in one swift move. "Go grab something to drink, I'll get it."

She walked round the couch and headed to the door, while House, who had gotten up too, went to the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of wine for her and some beers for him. He was fumbling into his drawer to find the bottle opener when she called him. He didn't notice the change in her tone right away. He stepped out of the kitchen to ask what she wanted but he stumbled and almost fell when he saw her, with an incredulous face, questioning him with a confused gaze.

"This… err… woman says she apparently forgot something _in your bedroom_ the last time she was here," she informed him wryly.

At the threshold just next to her, was standing Candy, the woman he had called to massage his sore thigh after Cuddy had left him. She was smiling sheepishly at him, and by the way she was dressed and made up, there was no room left for the slightest doubt about her occupations to challenge a rational and witty brain like Cuddy's.

House closed his eyes briefly and the thudding, quickening sound of his heartbeat started to invade his head, making him feel dizzy.

(…)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_I know I didn't exactly update at a very regular pace lately, or I should say these past months… so maybe you'd need to have a look at __**Chapter 49**__ to help you remember who the girl who just showed up at the door, visibly threatening to ruin a perfect Huddy moment is…_

_because now… haha, what do you think is gonna happen next? Good things?... Bad things?_

_oh, and just so you know, I'm already working on the next chapter, so that I won't leave you hang wondering about what comes next for too long._

_But meanwhile, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want to hear your thoughts! :)_

_HUDDY BLISS TO YOU, ALL THROUGH THE SUMMER UP UNTIL SEPTEMBER! __~ maya_


	69. Chapter 69

_Hi everyone! _

_HERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER!_

_I hope I didn't make you wait too long. But if I did, I hope I'll be redeemed somewhere along the following lines… :-)_

_Enjoy!_

* * *

**** CHAPTER 69 ****

House instinctively took a step in Cuddy's direction, but without moving, she stopped him dead in his track with a compellingly powerful stare which, within a split second, said to him more than a thousand words would have. He silently complied and stayed rooted to his spot, just beside the couch, a few inches away from her and the door that was still ajar. His head was buzzing as if a million bees had been trapped inside his brain.

He vaguely heard Candy embarrassingly reeling off a story to explain that she had lost the key of her gym's locker room and that it must have fallen off her purse in his room the last time she was there or something like that.

But he didn't care.

All he could see was Cuddy's hand, so forcefully clutching the doorknob that her knuckles were snow white. And at the moment, while he was still processing the situation and weighing his options, her hand was the only thing he dared look at, although he could feel her gaze on him, and he was dying to meet her eyes, but the mere idea of what he could read in them made his ears buzz even louder and he opted to keep his head down instead.

"I assume you already know your way," he suddenly heard Cuddy's voice say.

It was a dull voice, toneless, husky and low. And she was not asking. She was _commanding_ Candy to go there and get whatever object she had come here to claim. In response, the high-pitched voice of the hooker let out a relieved exclamation to confirm that she indeed knew and she walked past Cuddy, her high heels clicking on the wooden floor all the way down to House's room.

As soon as Candy disappeared, House limped towards the door, regardless of the warning, almost panicked glare Cuddy instantly shot him when she saw him approach. He stopped right in front of her and his gaze finally locked with her burning eyes. No word, no sound, nothing was uttered. He wanted to hold her, shake her, touch her, but he was paralyzed, so he didn't move. They could have stood on a small rock and the whole planet Earth could have disappeared under their feet, neither one of them would have noticed. They were facing each other and the silence between them was so heavy, it could have been cut in slices with a knife. A minute or two passed and finally, Candy reappeared, waving triumphantly a set of keys in the air, as if to prove she really had a reason to show up.

"I'm sorry I've intruded," she said, with a sorry voice, standing between them at the door. She turned her head successively from Cuddy to House. "I came the other day, but nobody was here. And not the days after either," she whispered her voice becoming almost inaudible.

House wasn't even looking at her. The only pair of eyes he was drowned to was the steel-grey ocean that was staring at him, glistening with tears that threatened to fall each extra second that was passing by, excruciatingly slowly. He saw her bite her lower lip, the same instant that he felt the stranger touch of a hand lightly brushing his arm. His head jolted to the side and he shot daggers at Candy, who had just unconsciously tried to catch his attention. Candy met House's glower and she instantly removed her hand, as if it had come in contact with embers.

"I wanted to see if you were okay," she said, looking at him with a sincerely concerned face, "Truth is I don't really need my key, I have a spare one…" She took a deep breath and shifted from foot to foot, so obviously sweating uneasiness through every pore of her exposed skin. But she gathered her strength and dared turn her head to face Cuddy. "I know what it looks like," she said bravely, with a gulp, "but this is not what you think…"

Cuddy's mouth imperceptibly dropped open and she took her eyes off of Candy's for a brief second to look at House. Maybe that was a signal, or maybe it was just because the room was spinning so hard that he really needed all of this to end, but the sight of what he read in Cuddy's eyes as a beseeching prayer to make it stop suddenly jerked him off of his silent passivity and he grabbed Candy's arm, as gently as he could but with an undeniable urge to push her outside.

"Listen, that's… nice of you to worry but I'm fine," he interrupted with a hoarse groan.

"And your leg?" She turned to face Cuddy again. "You know, last time, I came to massage his leg. That's all. I only c…"

House tightened his grasp on her arm and she stopped in the middle of her sentence, setting her lips firmly, while he guided her towards the door even more conspicuously. But suddenly aware of him gripping her, House let go of her and Candy instantly moved away, stumbling to the door on her own. Cuddy, silent witness of this surreal scene, looked down at her bare feet, feeling small and fragile, and she took a deep breath yet undeniably relieved to see Candy go, almost as if she needed that to be able to finally cling to the little remnants of what her reality was just moments before. Her _perfect_ reality.

The hooker glanced one last time at House with genuinely sorry eyes. She opened her mouth to say something but decided against it. Cuddy stared at her with a piercing, quizzical gaze, and then, out of the blue, she suddenly walked away, decidedly pacing towards the bathroom. House instinctively grabbed hold of her wrist when she brushed past him. She stopped and turned around, looking at him for a split second that was enough for him to read the unsaid words that her eyes were shouting at him: "let go of me", it said, and so he did, unquestioning. He let go of her wrist and she instantly disappeared into the hallway.

"I'm sorry I've intruded," Candy repeated once more, which made House jump. He turned his head in her direction, with a baffled expression, as if he'd already forgotten her presence. Candy sighed embarrassingly. Then she pulled the door open wider and left.

For another few seconds, the sound of her high heels tapping on the tiled floor resonated in the lobby, then the sound of the building door being shut down with a muffled click and silence finally, invading the room again. House gulped and closed the door of his apartment. His hand still on the doorknob, he took two long, painful, breathings, one in, and one out, thinking that life was an ironic bitch that must really wish him to live in hell. He took a minute to gather his strength and straighten up and he limped toward the bathroom to join Cuddy and be damned like he thought he surely deserved to be. When he arrived at the doorsill, he saw her standing in front of the washbowl, facing the mirror.

"Don't come in," she commanded, without turning around, just staring at his reflection in the mirror.

House took a sharp breath and stopped right where he was, locking eyes with her through the mirror as well.

"Can I explain?"

"No."

He briefly took his eyes off her face and glanced at her hands. She was gripping the edges of the washbowl firmly as if she needed to hold on to something steady to keep her on her feet.

"Just answer my questions," she said hoarsely, with a wobbling voice.

"Ok."

"That… girl, what's her name?"

"Candy."

Cuddy smirked bitterly at House's unhesitant answer.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"No."

"I don't mean the last time she came here…"

"I know what you mean. The answer's still no. I _never_ slept with her."

"Yeah, not with _her_."

"Not with her, no…" House sighed heavily, as the shadow of the hookers that have creased his sheets once, almost in another life, came haunting his memory. Sorrow clouded his face over and he took a small step inside. "Cuddy-"

"Please don't talk," she whispered evenly.

House froze and fell silent. She lowered her head down and he lost the sight of her gaze in the mirror. Then she started to sob, almost silently, and he couldn't bear it. He paced further inside and came behind her, tentatively putting his hands on her hips and sliding them on her midriff to wrap her in his arms. Her frame felt so frail and petite along his large, tall body. He enveloped her securely and pressed her delicately against his chest. She didn't push him away or resist but instead, she slowly tilted her head back and leaned on his collarbone, closing her eyes and taking a long, shuddering breathing in.

"Let me explain," he tried again.

"No. I don't need explanations. I believe her when she said she only came to massage your leg."

"You do?" House asked incredulously, an immense feeling of relief invading his whole tense body. He slightly bent over and rested his chin atop her shoulder. Cuddy re-opened her eyes and their gaze locked in the mirror again.

"I hate myself," she said, out of the blue. House's eyes widened in disbelief. "It's my fault if you had to call her," she explained in a low voice.

House slowly straightened up and grabbed her by the shoulders gently. With a light pressure, he made her turn around inside his embrace to face him. When she did, he cautiously raised his hand to her face and softly wiped away a tear from her cheekbone with his thumb

"That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard you say," he declared. "And you _do_ say a lot of stupid things," he added after a short pause, regaining some confidence. A shy smile flickered on the corner of Cuddy's lips and he felt a light shiver running up and down his spine. "When have you ever been responsible of the pain I feel in my leg?" he asked, offering her his unconditional surrender within a candid grin.

She shrugged and pouted sulkily. The one mesmerizing sparkle that usually glittered in her incredibly translucent gaze lit again, and the burden that felt like a million tons on his chest disappeared in an instant. House pulled her closer to him, and she wound her arms around his neck, hanging her hands loose behind his nape.

"Kiss me," she whispered in a blow, raising her chin to bring her face higher, almost already touching his lips.

He leaned down and he took her mouth, brushed her tongue with his, bit the pulp of her lips and slid to the side, following her jaw line; she threw her head back and, with a murmur, she claimed his most delightful apologies.

"Kiss me as you love me."

House stopped his teasing nibbling almost instantly and pulled back. He sustained her intense, almost daring, look and stared at her quizzically. She blinked a few times and a gasp escaped her lips, betraying her yearning anticipation. He knew that somehow, she was waiting for him to squash her against the wall and smother her face and neck with eager, biting, kisses but he smiled instead and raised his hand to her face, _slowly_. With the tip of his index, he shut her eyelids close, and then he slid his fingers through her hair to cup her skull inside his hand. He leaned down and when his lips came in contact with the delicate skin of one of her eyelids, he pressed the softest kiss on it, brushing her eyelashes and scarcely rubbing his nose through her brow. Then he moved to her other eye and repeated the process. She shuddered and put her left hand flat on his torso. From her eyelid, he leisurely slid to her temple and he kissed her again. Then he inhaled her skin deeply, right there, on the gracious bump of her cheekbone, before diving into her neck, where he carefully grazed her skin with his stubble, with a rougher but gentle stroke. She moaned and her fingers clutched his chest and he felt her nails digging into his flesh through the fabric of his tee-shirt. He rested his mouth on the warm spot of her windpipe and felt her heartbeats pulsating in her jugular, making the pulp of his lips vibrate. The sensation was spellbinding. He closed his eyes while the hand he had on her waist started to move, almost on its own, caressing her curvaceous side and going up to cup the roundness of her breasts. The urge to taste her mouth again came right after and he climbed back to her face, sucking her lips thirstily, with growing lust, untamable passion, and fierce, shameless, possessiveness.

Because that's how he intended to show her how he loved her.

Cuddy responded to his kiss with the same unrestrained abandon and as the yearning between them was becoming irrepressible, she yanked him towards her, taking one step backwards to lean her body against the washbowl. He followed her compelling grip and once the small of her back hit the edge of the basin, she pushed herself up on her feet a little to sit on it and wrapped her legs around his waist. Cuddy then avidly proceeded to undress him but when House's tee-shirt was half way up his torso and ready to be taken off, the doorbell suddenly rang again.

"Fuck!" she exclaimed, expressing her frustration with the funniest spontaneous outburst. She removed her legs from his hips to set him free and slid his tee-shirt down again on his abdomen.

He pulled back and looked at her with an incredibly fond smile.

"I guess it really must be the pizza this time," he stated squarely.

"Are you sure it's not another one of your personal masseuses?" she asked teasingly, however with a warning gaze.

He rolled his eyes but reason commanded him to avoid commenting. The bell rang again, echoing into the hallway.

"Coming!" House shouted turning his head to the direction of the door, while staying perfectly immobile nonetheless.

Cuddy arched her eyebrows quizzically but when he gestured conspicuously at his bulging crotch, she couldn't repress a laugh and she hopped off the washstand.

"I guess I better go get the pizzas myself," she said, with a bit of teasing playfulness in her voice, patting him comprehensively on the side of his arm.

"Yeah, you're right! We certainly have more chance to get a discount if you're the one showing at the door with your conspicuously erect nipples," he answered without missing a bit, beaming proudly at his own joke.

Cuddy gasped and instantly glanced down at her boobs, irrepressibly needing to check by herself, which made House laugh as he caught her expression when she realized her nipples looked perfectly normal. She shook her head and left, hastily running to the door, while a third ringing resonated into the entry.

When she left, House deeply sighed in relief and he looked at his reflection in the mirror. Surely, he was a lucky bastard. He didn't believe in God, so he didn't really know who or what to thank, but whichever was responsible for it, it didn't let him down this time, and it felt righteous. When he'd seen Candy at the doorstep of his apartment, there were a million reasons why it could have gone wrong, even though none of them would have been justified. But he was so used to bad Karma. In one second, it was as if he'd been projected back to the week before, when he was still feeling so miserably lost without Cuddy and he could see himself passed out, high on Vicodin, and lying on the floor in the middle of a Bourbon puddle and the broken bottle shards. And if there was something he couldn't afford to live twice, not even in his worst nightmares, it was precisely that: the excruciating experience of thinking he'd lost _her_. He covered his face with his joined palms and took some long and calming breaths.

His erection was gone and he was starting to wonder what the heck Cuddy was doing at the door, and why it was taking her so long to pay for two pizzas. A little bit intrigued and even slightly worried, he got out of the bathroom and he paced toward the living room. When he entered, she had just closed the door. She turned to face him with two cardboard boxes and a bottle of wine inside her hands.

"Pizzas are here!" she announced with a wide happy smile on her face. "And look! The delivery guy said Gianni offers the wine!"

"Wow!" House answered, with an incredulous frown. "So the erect nipples actually did the trick…"

"Nooo, you idiot!" she giggled. "But apparently, cook messed up with the ingredients of our pizzas, adding vegetables with your pepperoni or cheese with my vegetables… Anyway, he had to do them all over again and that's why the delivery took longer than usual, so Gianni offers us a bottle of wine to be forgiven. Nice, right?"

House smiled at her obvious, almost childlike excitation. Cuddy walked to the couch and put the boxes and the bottle down on the coffee table carefully. She literally slouched down in the sofa next and, opening the boxes, she grabbed one slice of her pizza and greedily took a bite.

"Mmm, tastes good. Can you get some glasses for the wine, please?" she said, humming appreciatively with her mouth full.

"Ok, so all it takes is a tasteless pizza crammed with vegetables and a bottle of Chianti and suddenly you completely forget your priorities, like, barely five minutes ago, you were about to rip off my clothes and have sex with me in the bathroom?

"Yeah, coz then I remembered I was starving," she answered, chuckling.

"That is so unfair!" House declared, with exaggerated, fake consternation.

"And I'm thirsty, too. So bring glasses!" she urged him, pointing at the bottle with her chin.

"Alcoholic!" he teased, going to the kitchen.

"Sex maniac!" she teased back, with laughter in her voice.

* * *

The bottle of Chianti was nearly empty, and on the table, the open cardboard boxes were now only filled with crumbles of pizzas. Cuddy heaved a deep sigh of contentment and she leaned to the side to nuzzle House's chest and he instantly enclosed her in his arms and held her secure against him.

"I wish we could stay like this forever," she whispered, almost to herself, gently rubbing her cheek on his torso. House squeezed her ever so slightly tighter against him.

"Duh, not me!" he unexpectedly exclaimed, surprising her enough to make her straighten up and look at him quizzically. "I mean, I wish we could have sex!" he clarified with a beaming smile.

She laughed and pulled away from his embrace.

"Aw, you know you'll always win me with romantic lines like that, you smooth talker!" she answered, getting up. House watched her take a few steps away without quite registering the scene. "You know it's better if we're in the same room to have sex, right?" he heard her hoarse sexy voice say, already coming from the end of the hallway. He instantly got off the couch and joined her in his bedroom.

How she did to take off her clothes so fast, he really had no idea. But he sure wasn't complaining! When he entered the room, she was standing beside the bed, only wearing her underwear and the way she eagerly proceeded with the unbuttoning of his pants left very few doubts about the urgency of her desire. House didn't need more to be perfectly turned on already. He grabbed her by the shoulders and yanked her down on the mattress with him, nibbling her lips and stroking her bare skin in a train of disorganized and impatient gestures.

"No foreplay? Oh-ho, you naughty girl," he cooed between her lips, as he deftly grabbed hold of her bra hook.

Cuddy stopped him in his fit and, extricating from their close hold, she propped herself up on her elbows and looked at him with a mysterious smile.

"Oh but trust me, there _will be _foreplay…"

Before he could react or answer anything, she got off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Within the next seconds, he heard the characteristic sound of her frantically rummaging through his stuff.

"What are you doing?" he asked, baffled, and trying hard to resist the urge to go check by himself.

"Stay right there!" she exclaimed from inside the bathroom, surprising him with the perfect synchronicity of her command, as he was just about to get up and go see what all that noise she was making was for. The noise suddenly ceased, and the next instant, she was standing at the door frame, looking at him with feline eyes, holding something in her hand.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Lie down," she instructed him, ignoring his question; and she walked to the bed, while he docilely complied. She kneeled down next to him on the mattress and he looked quizzically at the tube she put on the nightstand.

"Biafine? I know you like to play dominatrix but tell me this is not going to be the kind of foreplay where you burn me with hot candle wax, is it?" he asked, a little bit suspiciously, but with a roguish smile.

She rolled her eyes and giggled.

"No, you idiot."

"Then what?"

She looked at him with a shy smile then slowly leaned down to his face and put a delicate kiss on the corner of his lips.

"You don't need anyone to massage your leg now. You have me."

A delicious shiver of pleasure ran through his body, though it also quite instantly raised his suspicion.

"And Biafine!" he added, half-teasing, half-incredulous, hiding his puzzlement behind a joke.

"I was hoping to find body oil or something more appropriate but it seemed like this is the only tube of decent emulsion you have, so-"

"Yeah sorry, that's coz I used all the scented coconut oil last week for a skin care and I didn't have time to stop at the perfumery store yet."

She smacked him on the chest and deliberately shifted away from him on the mattress.

"Ok, go ahead, mock me!" she said, pouting. "If you don't want me to massage you then it's fine, it's-"

She couldn't finish her sentence because he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her down to him; she toppled on top of him and he imprisoned her inside his arms.

"You drank too much wine," he said tenderly.

"I did not!" she protested.

He loosened his grip and rolled her to the side to face her, studying her silently.

"I can massage your leg," she said, with a sulky voice.

"Yes, you can," he answered evenly.

"I _want_ to," she insisted, lowering her eyes.

"Cuddy..." he sighed and put out his hand to caress her cheek but she kept her head down, stubbornly. "Look at me… Candy only massaged me to bring me relief because my leg hurt-"

"And you're saying I can't?" she puffed bitterly.

"No. But I don't want you to think that there was anything sexual about it."

She bit her lips and he kept her face up, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"And you certainly don't need to start thinking you have to massage my leg to turn me on either-"

"I'm not," she defended herself.

"Good. Then forget about my leg and the stupid Biafine all together and… just screw me senseless instead," he told her with an irresistible smile.

His mischievous poise was all she needed to draw her assertiveness from. She sent him a challenging look and sat up on the mattress again. She slid his jeans off his legs, while he finished getting rid of his tee-shirt. Lying on the bed next to her, now wearing only his boxers, House shivered in anticipation when she unhooked her bra and tossed it off-handedly on the floor behind her. Then she bent over his torso and started to trace a winding line of voluptuous kisses, starting at his collarbone and lasciviously sliding down to his abdomen, her bare breasts brushing his skin along the way. She trailed slowly past his hips and licked his flesh around the belly button, nibbling gently. Incapable of resisting any longer, House cupped one of her breasts in his hand and stroked it softly. Moaning appreciatively, she grabbed hold of his other hand and guided it to the small of her back where it just about stayed, quite rapidly sliding inside her panties and gripping her ass cheek tightly. Cuddy straightened up and she searched for his gaze. The light blue color of his eyes had darkened with desire and he stared at her lustfully. She leaned down to his face and she kissed him avidly, but not hurriedly; greedily but not selfishly. She brushed his closed lips with hers and when the burning contact made him gasp, she thrust her tongue between his teeth, twirling it with his but breaking away from him, tantalizingly, after a few strokes. He instantly reacted by placing a hand behind her skull to pull her back to him, claiming her mouth again, and setting the pace of their next kiss, already one step further into impatient yearning, passion making them pant already very audibly.

While Cuddy answered to House's arousing need, biting and chewing his lips, fighting to be the one to swallow his tongue deeper into her sweetened mouth, she reached out for his groin and covered his bulging, hard, member with her hand over the cloth of his boxers. House bucked his hips and clutched her arm at the sensation of her touch over the undeniable proof of his desire for her. The sound of the moan that came along, bearing witness to his total surrendering to her, gave her a delightful, almost forbidden, awareness of her absolute power over him. The way he simply waited for her to decide and do whatever she wanted to do with him made her shudder in delight, sending waves of pleasure through her body, like electric impulses into a wire.

Aroused beyond reason too, though trying to control herself, she drew apart from his lips and she hastily got rid of her panties. Naked above him, she slithered down to his lower abdomen leisurely. She just had to slide her fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxers and House let out an incoherent grunt, but quite unquestionably conveying his keenness. Cuddy laughed hoarsely and she stripped off the last remaining piece of fabric that still held his throbbing shaft captive. Finally liberating a hardness she knew was hers and hers alone, she felt incredibly powerful again and she sensually stroked it up and down its silky length, enjoying the little jolts she was causing to it with her caresses. Then, irrepressibly drawn to it, she slowly leaned down, closer, feeling House's arousal about to reach its climax. She was just inches far from the tip of his cock and she kissed it softly, rubbing the sides of his thighs with the palms of her hands at the same time. House groaned his pleasure, wriggling underneath her, barely taking it anymore.

"Cuddy, fuck, you're killing me!" he hissed through clenched teeth, trying to hold back the growing wave within him.

She raised her head and she caught a glimpse of that elated blissful expression he had on his face for a split second, and she smiled, before leaning down again and taking him inside her mouth unreservedly. She sucked and bobbed up and down and kissed, and House bucked his hips and seized her shoulders, digging his nails in her skin and soon, the sound if his moans let her know she had undeniably hurtled him near the edge. She stopped and straightened up, unceremoniously straddling him and grabbing his cock in her hands to guide him inside her, the eagerness of her love for him leaving him neither respite nor time to catch his breath.

If the fervor of the foreplays had undeniably turned him on, Cuddy was not outdone herself and the perfect wetness of her core allowed welcoming him in one thrust. Her walls instantly clamped around his shaft tightly and it made her gasp loudly, while she irrepressibly arched her back, pushing herself deeper into him. He grabbed hold of her hips and she put her hands flat on his torso, so the dance could begin. It started slowly but soon she speeded up her pace and she felt his knuckles digging into her curves. The marvel of their bodies, clasped and entwined, shamelessly making love, was an intoxicating mix of burns, shivers, contractions, relaxations, sucking up, pushing out, and the absolute contradiction of this train of sensations was triggering nothing but pure bliss. She was riding him feverishly, rocking faster and harder with each move and at the trough of her back and forth movements, the sweet dizziness of growing orgasm invaded her and she collapsed onto his chest, burying her face into his neck and panting against his sweating skin. He tightened his grasp and took over, steadily shoving inside her and jiggling her up with his shoves.

He wasn't expecting her to come so fast, or so loud, and the cry of pleasure she drawls into his ear took him by surprise. A sweet surprise that made him come right after her, his whole body quaking beneath her, following the rhythm of her jerking muscles in perfect sync. As soon as the orgasmic wave that had crashed them both started to withdraw, he enfolded her in his arms and kissed the round shape of her shoulder gently, cradling her against his chest and waiting for her breath to return to normal. After a silent moment, he carefully pulled out, lifting her above him and she rolled to the side, while he drew the sheets out to allow them slipping underneath. Once covered, she instantly nuzzled him again, the need to feel the warmth of his skin along hers barely enduring few seconds of contact loss. He tickled her back with the tip of his fingers lightly, and kissed her hair. Everything fell silent in the room again and House dared enjoy it as another stolen moment, won in the battle against loneliness and misery that he'd once thought he would never win.

The next sound that disturbed this perfect instant was the one of Cuddy adorably snoring, almost like a cat purring against him. He wrapped her slumbering body closer and heaved a sigh of plain satisfaction, closing his eyes and feeling comfortably numb.

* * *

_**A/N **_

_You are such extraordinary readers! THANK YOU! to all of you_

_I loved each one of your comments. they made me smile :-) _

_So you wanted a jealous Cuddy? and an argument?... haha, you are crazy! And I'm a rebel so I chose the opposite path... BUT… that tells me you still crave drama, don't you? Mmm, good thing you do, then! (ohh, shocking suspense here!...)_

_Anyway, just so you know, I didn't intend to write a sex scene in that chapter at first. To be honest, I would have stopped it at the "Alcoholic" – "Sex maniac!" lines. But… since you seemed to need some hot, make up scene so badly, I decided to push the writing of this chapter a little further, even though there wasn't even an argument to make up for! lol_

_See? because that's how I love you, my greedy, wonderful readers! ;-)_

_Fuel me with your comments! They mean everything to me…_

_And yay: summer! (at least for North Hemisphere) so enjoy it, stock some sun, capture bright lights, smell sweet scents of juicy fruits, bathe in the sea if you can, sleep under the moon… be naughty, be crazy, be happy!_

_And may September come fast… __~ maya_


	70. Chapter 70

_WOW! I'm not even sure you still remember where we were left this story before I took this insanely long break in my writing (well not completely since I wrote another story this summer) but still…_

_I confess I had to re-read my last chapters several times myself just to put me back in the mood, even though (and that's crazy), the following chapter you're about to read (and the next 4 or 5 after that) are all part of a long draft I had written months ago but needed to put in presentable writing style before I could update._

_So, we're approaching an(other) 'big' medical challenge for House (which means mostly for me since I tried to write something plausible and coherent; and btw that's also part of the reasons why it took me some extra time to get back to that because, trust me, diving into cryptic medical notes long after you wrote them can be quite puzzling! so actually I had to double check my notes and make other researches to confirm the precious ones I had done… meh.)_

_ANYWAY! here's the NEW CHAPTER._

_I hope you'll like it! :)_

* * *

**** Chapter 70 ****

Things never go the way they're supposed to.

House should have known better than just to trust appearances. But he was unfocused, his mind undeniably elsewhere since he and Cuddy had come back from Boston and for all those reasons, plus everything else that was about to go wrong, he should have foreseen the signs and be more careful. Yes, House should have definitely known better than just to trust appearances.

Early in the morning, he had signed the discharge paper for his patient, the tired, but brave mommy with mononucleosis and a huge hero complex. How a woman would stupidly push her limits that far, trying to be the super parent, completely forgetting to take care of herself in the process just to keep up with her four kids irresponsible and selfish demands, ending up incapable of even standing on her two feet and consequently, of course, incapable of being a decent mom, was beyond him. But that was the law of Nature, probably, and he had renounced to explain it rationally a long time ago. Men were stupid and men with kids even stupider. But anyway, after multiple, unnecessary – at least from his point of view – tests, it appeared that Jenny Reed was fine and ready to go home where she could happily exhaust herself some more. House didn't expect her to have learned any lesson out of this. As he was standing at the balcony, watching her being rolled to the front door in a wheel chair, her offspring already sucking the little energy she had regained during her stay at the hospital out of her by jumping up and down frantically all around, he told himself that becoming a parent was the most arrogant and just plain unconscious decision one human being could make in a lifetime.

The team was there to accompany Jenny Reed, shaking hands and giving the last, kindly recommendations before finally allowing her to go. House was leaning on the balustrade watching her smile and thinking about what he would do next, since he was now without a patient to treat. He wanted to see Cuddy, he was missing her already, and he could vividly feel it almost through every pore of his skin. He'd never been that much infatuated with anybody, but he didn't care, he thought with a smile, as he watched Jenny stand up and take a few steps toward the exit. Her husband was holding their baby inside his arms and House watched Jenny come close to him while her other children kept dancing like whirling dervishes between her legs. Yes, Cuddy, he _needed_ to see her now. House pushed himself up from the balustrade and stepped in front of the elevator behind him. He was pressing the call button with the tip of his cane when the shouts coming from the entrance hall echoed into space.

"We need some help in here!"

House briskly whisked around and leaned over the balustrade again to see what had been the cause of something which sadly sounded like a too familiar injunction to him. And there, below him, he saw it. Jenny Reed was lying on the floor, in a pool of her own vomit. Strangely enough, he also noticed her kids, who suddenly seemed like they'd been frozen still. Taub was kneeled down next to the inert woman, checking her pulse and Foreman, sensing the presence of his boss above them, tilted his head up and locked eyes with House, with a worried look on his face.

* * *

"We've ruled out Bell's Palsy, and the brainstem tumor-" Taub started.

"I don't care what we've ruled out!" House cut him off, angrily. "What she _doesn't_ have is not going to help us treat her." At that moment, Thirteen walked into the conference room, followed by Kutner. "How is she?" House asked.

"She's awake now, but still weak. Her face is swollen, but it's hard to tell what part of it is a symptom or if it's only due to her fall," Thirteen answered, taking a seat at the glass table next to Taub.

"She vomited just before she lost consciousness and fell, we should also take that into account," Foreman pointed out.

"Food poisoning?" Taub said, unconvincing.

"I checked with the nurses to trace down her last two meals," Kutner answered. "Samples from the cafeteria are in the lab now. We should get the results in the next couple of hours."

"Except, if it came from some hospital food she ate, there should be other sick patients," House stated pensively. "Anyone heard of a puke crisis striking the second floor lately?"

"Not that I know of," Thirteen said.

"Then, sorry to crush your good will Kutner, but it seems you've just wasted a few hundred dollars on pointless tests."

Kutner lowered his head, defeated.

"How about the husband?" he suddenly asked, regaining some confidence. "You know how the family usually is, always sneaking in some food. Maybe it comes from something she ate that he gave her."

House squinted at him for a few seconds.

"Good point," he finally answered, and Kutner smiled widely, sticking his chest out a little. "Where's the husband now?"

"With his wife. The guy looks like a total mess," Thirteen said, not really sounding concerned.

"Of course he does!" House exclaimed. "I know I would be, if I was left alone with four crawling, uncontrollable little brats while my wife decided to be ill and useless in a hospital bed!"

Foreman frowned disapprovingly.

"Go ask him what stupid, totally poisonous food he's been feeding his wife with lately and ask if anyone in the family who could have eaten the same thing show similar symptoms," House said to the team.

The four doctors all simultaneously stood up and they hastily left the room. House stood there, alone, in the middle of the empty outer office when his cell phone rang. He took it out of his pocket, checked the caller ID and smiled.

"My team just left. Perfect timing for a bootie call!" House chanted, beaming.

On the other side of the line, Cuddy rolled her eyes and held back her laughter.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm in a bar, getting drunk."

"No, you're not! You said you team just left!"

"Yeah, that's coz they don't hold alcohol. Except Thirteen, but she had to leave too, since that's not really a bar for chicks-"

"House!"

He smiled at her fake reprimand.

"How's your patient doing?"

"Vomiting. Fainting. The usual sick people daily round."

"What does she have?"

"I don't know" he said with a sudden serious tone.

"What are the symptoms?"

"Stiff neck. Paresthesia-"

"Meningitis?" she suggested.

"Already ruled out. And she's positive for Epstein Barr," he challenged.

"Lyme?"

He smiled.

"Are you applying to join my team?" he teased. "Because you know, there's no spot available right now, but one word from you and I'm getting rid of one of them. Or all of them, if you prefer. So which one is it? Just spill a name and the job is yours!"

"You're stupid," she said with a smiling voice.

Silence filled the receiver and House checked his watch.

"You wanna get lunch?"

"I can't, I'm sorry. I called to say I'll be out for the rest of the day. I have a meeting with Mason, our financial advisor to define capital allowance for th-"

"Stop right there, I think I'm getting a headache."

"Well excuse me while I go doing my boring job then!"

"I didn't say your job was boring. Although, it kinda is, we all know that. But I didn't _say _it was…"

He could practically see her pout at the other end of the line.

"Cuddyyy, come on," he teased.

"Fine. I won't call next time."

"I never said you had to. I mean, you go in and out of this hospital all the time. At this point, let's face it you probably had lunch with half of the people in Princeton already. Bankers, donors, doctors, whoever! That's what you do. But you never bothered calling me before to give me the specifics. And now all of a sudden, you're calling to tell me that? Really?"

"What?" Cuddy said, suddenly getting defensive. "I'm your girlfriend. I'm just letting you know where I'll be so that you don't wonder-"

"That's my point."

"Sorry, but what the hell is your point? What are you trying to prove here?"

"Nothing. I'm just trying to stop the process before the day comes when you feel the need to call me just to say you're going to pee."

She didn't answer. Instead, he heard her suck in a sharp breath and the long sigh that ensued reeked of guilt and embarrassment.

"Cuddy," House's voice became serious and low, "you left. And I think we've established how _really_ bad I was after that. Because, _really bad _is how I am without you."

She exhaled again, a wobbling sigh this time, and House pressed the receiver against his ear.

"But you came back. You're here now," he whispered. "I'm feeling good. I'm ok. And you know that a part of me will _always_ fear that you leave me. There's no phone call that can ever change that. It's not you or what you do, or who you see… It's _me_. I don't believe in happy ending."

"House, I'm-"

"Shut up and let me finish. It's not a problem. I can deal with that. I've always dealt with that. The fact that I know it's gonna end…"

"It's _**not**_ going to end."

"Ok then, the fact that I _reasonably_ exercise my right to think that it _could_ end doesn't mean I don't appreciate the present. I don't need you to reassure me. I don't _want_ you to. The more you feel the need to tell me where you are or who you see, the more I'm gonna ask myself _why_. You may think it's a good idea, but in fact it's not. Because it's not helping with my carpe diem philosophy, ok? So just hang up that phone now and scram! Go see your money guru-"

"Financial advisor," she corrected with a raspy voice, trying to hide the sound of her sniffing.

"Tomato – Tomatoe-"

"House?"

She took a deep breath and his heartbeats speeded up a little.

"I'm gonna miss you," she said tentatively.

"Ha! Not me, sorry. I'm not going to think about you; _at all_. Nor will I think about all the things we're gonna do once I'll have you naked in my bed. I don't have time for that."

Her laugh. There was no other sound that was as perfect as the sound of her laugh in the whole world he thought. Except her moans when she came, maybe… He closed his eyes briefly and shook his head to chase the images that had instantly formed in his mind away. He needed to focus.

"I'll see you tonight?" she said, as if she'd read his mind.

"Yeah."

* * *

"The husband swears he didn't give her anything to eat," Thirteen said first, while the team re-entered the conference room shortly after.

"He's probably lying."

"I believe him."

"Really. Why? Because he crossed his heart and hoped to die?" House said sarcastically.

"Because he really didn't give her _anything_. Not even flowers."

"Oh, that explains it then!" he scoffed.

"We have to assume he's telling the truth," Foreman said. "Lab results indicate there's nothing in the food."

"The _hospital_ food! Not the goddamned food her stupid husband gave her!"

"And got her _that_ sick? Well, that would mean he really managed to sneak in _a lot_ of food. Which, considering the symptoms, is unlikely to be chocolate. So what now? We need to start looking in her room's trashcan for trace of oyster shells or are we trying to find some other plausible causes beside marital food poisoning attempt?" Foreman asked with a smug grin.

House glared at him but took the point.

"Ok. Not food poisoning. Why did she vomit then?

"Incipient postural hypotension. She stood up too fast after lying in bed for almost two days. She got dizzy."

"That doesn't explain the paresthesia."

"What if it actually did?" Kutner suddenly suggested, fumbling into the patient's file. "Infectious mononucleosis, numbness in the lower limps, low blood pressure with dizziness, vomiting, partial facial paralysis…"

"Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy?" Taub bounced back.

"Or it could be Guillain Barre," Thirteen countered. "The symptoms are consistent with both."

"But if it's GB, she'd have porphyria, or viral hepatitis;" Kutner reminded.

"Then what are you waiting for?" House exclaimed. "Draw some blood! Do a red cell count and test her for viral hepatitis. And check the porphyrin level in her urine, too."

* * *

"Do you know a Mason? Financial guy or something?"

"You need fiscal advice now?" Wilson asked with a smile, planting his fork into his salad ravenously.

House pouted and glanced at Wilson's tray with disappointment: there was only healthy food there, almost nothing worth tasting. He spotted an apple, though, swiftly grabbed it and bit a big chunk out of it before Wilson had the time to bat an eyelid. The oncologist frowned angrily and pulled the tray out of House's reach.

"Cuddy's having lunch with him," House said with his mouth full.

"And?"

"And, nothing. It's just lunch. She called me earlier to tell me about it. Capital allowance and all that jazz. Just business."

"House, are you and Cuddy ok?" Wilson asked, putting his fork down and looking worried.

"We're fine!" House answered with exaggerated enthusiasm and avoiding Wilson's gaze. "She even met Candy yesterday."

"Candy? Who's Candy?"

House lifted the slice of bread on top of Wilson's sandwich hoping to find some decent food underneath, but put it down when all he spotted were ridiculously colored vegetables.

"Candy, the girl you saw at my place the other day," House specified, trying to sound casual.

"Oh my God!" Wilson exclaimed with a shocked face. "Cuddy and that… hooker _met_?"

"Masseuse."

"You're dead."

"Do I look dead to you?"

"But what did she say?"

"Not much." House grinned widely at Wilson. "Moans mostly."

"You... whaaat? You had a threesome with-"

"Wilson!" House said with an authoritative voice. "Stop projecting! I'm talking about Cuddy's moans exclusively. Candy was just there for barely five minutes and then she left."

"And you're telling me Cuddy didn't kill you after that?"

"Nope! Quite the opposite actually. She was _very_ nice…"

"Wow!"

"Yeah."

"So what's the problem? And… what does that Mason guy has to do with all that?"

"Nothing. And that's the problem. Mason is just nobody. But Cuddy mentioned him and now I can't help thinking she's having lunch with that guy."

"Oh, so you're jealous of him?"

"You don't get anything, do you? Why would I have a reason to be jealous when a gorgeous woman like Cuddy gives me awesome sex after she ran into a hooker at my place instead of beating me to death and go away?"

"You wouldn't."

"Exactly." House heaved a deep sigh and looked away. "I… really like her," he grumbled almost inaudibly.

Wilson smiled.

"That's called love House. You can say the word you know. It's not going to kill you."

"Ok! So I _love_ her. Which is also why I'm screwed."

"Why?" Wilson looked at his friend with a baffled face.

"Because… because the world is full of Russells and Masons and whatever other name is next on the list, and one day she'll realize she's been wasting her time with me while there are many other better options for her out there."

"But what if you are the option Cuddy _chooses_ to have."

"Maybe now I am. But that won't last."

"House, for God's sake, can't you just enjoy what you have for once in your life and give it a little faith?"

House stared at his friend with extreme intensity.

"I'm trying. But I don't have many examples of successful relationships in my past to rely on. In fact, I have none."

Wilson sighed, becoming slightly tired and aggravated by House's self-conscious leitmotiv.

"That's because you hadn't met the right person," he said almost dismissively. "Listen, Cuddy's been putting up with your crap for years and she's still there. She loves you. So tell me, what could possibly go wrong now that she hasn't already gone through a million times before?"

"I don't know," House said in a low voice. "That's the problem."

"Just stop worrying! Everything's fine. Don't piss her off, that's all. She's stressed lately. Give her massage or cook for her. Whatever! Do something that will relax her. Just be nice with her."

House squinted at Wilson for a second and got up.

"Thanks Wilson! You are a day late with your couple counseling advice but, as always, I appreciate the friendly, meddling dedication."

Without even waiting for an answer, House started striding away, and left Wilson seated alone in his chair, looking bemused.

* * *

Tests results came later in the afternoon. As it turned out, during the time it took for the lab to run the tests, the patient got worse, her symptoms of paralysis slowly extending to her arms and shoulders.

"She doesn't have porphyria," Foreman said. "The urine is clear. And so is the blood cell count."

"So start her on corticosteroids for CIDP," House replied assertively.

"But her ALAT are three times above the normal level," Thirteen cautiously pointed out. "It can still be the remnant traces of a recent viral liver infection, which could indicate it's Guillain Barre. If we start her on corticosteroids and it's GB, she risks respiratory arrest. We should treat her with plasmapheresis instead, it's safer."

"It's safer but more invasive! It's CIDP. Start her on prednisone and she'll be fine in the next twelve hours!"

"But what if it's not and the corticosteroids cause cardiovascular complications?" Thirteen challenged.

"Then we'll have proven it's _not_ CIDP and we will start the plasmapheresis."

"We should get Cuddy's approval on this," Taub said matter-of-factly.

House narrowed his eyes at him and seemed to contemplate the option for a short while.

"No," He said. "It's standard risk treatment procedure. We don't need approval. Besides, we have to do something. We have two options, which means we need to rule out one."

Everyone stared at him with a 'are you really sure?' dubious frown.

"You're all staying here tonight. Monitor the patient closely the whole time. If her status doesn't improve in the next hours, we'll have confirmed one diagnosis. Now go and page me if anything goes wrong."

They looked one last time at House with an incredulous stare, then at each other, as if they were waiting to see what the other would do. Finally, Kutner sighed, gathered the file pages into the blue folder and stood up, walking towards the exit resignedly. Everyone followed shortly after and walked out the room for the third time that day.

Alone again once they'd all left, House took a deep breath and checked his watch: 7.15pm. It was going to be a long night he thought, closing his eyes and sighing. He crossed the conference room towards his office and sat at his desk. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed her number.

"I just got home. Just time for me to change clothes and I'm heading to your place," Cuddy said with a voice full of joyful promises, before he had the time to say hello. "You can start opening a bottle of that Bordeaux you have-"

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep it for another occasion."

"Why?" Her tone instantly conveyed her disappointment, her 'why' being more rhetorical than an actual real question as it was evident she already knew the answer.

"I need to stay at the hospital; probably will take me the most part of the night, so it's unlikely I'll get home tonight."

"Something with your patient?"

"Yes. But don't worry, everything's fine-"

"I'm not worried. I know you're doing what's in her best interest."

He gulped and sucked in a sharp breath.

"Yes," he said. "I'm sorry I have to stay."

"Well, that's ok. I guess I can use the night to review my presentation for tomorrow's Board meeting."

"Oh, Board meeting. I had forgotten that one."

"Not me, sadly. So maybe it's a good thing after all, 'cause I'll have another quick look at the budget charts, make sure everything is correct, and then go to bed early. I need to be in top form tomorrow to kick Campbell's ass."

"Yeah, you're gonna kick ass at kicking his ass!"

She laughed.

"Thanks," she told him with a soft voice. "I know I shouldn't, but I'm nervous about this meeting."

"Don't be," he said. "You'll do just fine, as usual."

He heard her breathe deeply into the receiver.

"I need to go," he lied.

"Ok. Good luck with your patient," she said.

"Cuddy?"

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna miss you," he said with a whispering voice.

"Me too," she answered.

After she hung up, he put his cell phone on the desk and buried his face inside his hands.

A long night. Yes. It was going to be a long night.

(...)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_To each of you who keep reading this story and still appreciate it. Your loyalty and support really mean a lot to me. and certainly more than word would express._

_So THANK YOU! :)_

_~ maya ~_


	71. Chapter 71

_Hi everyone!_

_NEW CHAPTER! with lots of medical stuff in it so I apologize if this is not the aspect you prefer, but it had to be done, for the purpose of making Huddy evolve like I wanted. _

_and for that purpose, I tried to instill a new rhythm of writing for that chapter specifically, by intentionally cutting scenes and switching from one to the other rather abruptly, to create a feeling of urgency... I hope it'll work that way and that you'll still enjoy the read!_

_thank you for your comments! you're great and really supportive. I'm lucky to have you alongside me in that journey, helping me find inspiration and motivation to write more, otherwise, I'd probably have given up a long time ago! lol :)_

* * *

**** Chapter 71 ****

1.45am.

Foreman and Thirteen were sitting in the conference room, drinking their umpteenth cup of coffee, reading medicals reviews and waiting for Taub and Kutner, who were monitoring the patient to come back and change shift. House had just started to doze off in his chair. The hallway was deserted and absolutely quiet in this late hour, when most of the doctors had long before finished their daily consults. There was no need for anyone on the fourth floor to stay during the night, except of course for the doctors of the Department of Diagnostics, who could be stuck and forced to wait for the slightest sign of improvement or worsening in a patient's state regardless of the hour. Day or night, that's what defined their jobs: waiting, waiting, waiting… for a sign.

And it occurred at 1.58am, in the guise of two simultaneous beeping sounds, which made everyone jump in their chairs. Foreman reached out for the beeper at his belt and read the message while Thirteen turned to House's direction with a worried face, not even in the mood to gloat for being right about the patient.

"Lungs?" House asked, getting up.

"Hypoxemia. How do you know?" Thirteen said, baffled.

"Well, let's see," House started, rubbing his chin while limping into the conference room. "Your beepers ringing means there's something going on, which, at this stage, means the treatment doesn't work, which indicates that CIDP is the wrong diagnosis and she's presenting one of the possible risk of complication for receiving the wrong treatment. And since, in that case, there's an 80% chance that it first hits the respiratory system, I just assumed that's what it was... Or, who knows, maybe I was just making a wild guess!"

Thirteen puffed at his sarcasm.

"I'm surprised you haven't relished saying 'I told you so' yet," House went on, stopping right in front of her and using his cane to lean toward and squint at her.

Thirteen opened her mouth to say something but Taub barged into the room at the very same time.

"Patient-" he began, panting a little.

"Has GBS and not CIDP," House completed, his perfect calm contrasting with Taub's agitation. "Thank you, but we kind of already know that. That's usually the purpose of sending a page."

"You got a page? But she… just… I…"

"Yeah, Kutner is a more efficient sucker than you are, apparently. Thank him by the way, since I specifically told you to _page_ me in case something happened," House groaned, enjoying Taub's confused reaction. "So what? Don't you know what to do next? Stop the steroid treatment and start the plasmapheresis.

"On its way," Taub said, straightening up and regaining composure a little. "I came up to tell you that the patient has been intubated. She's being transferred in hematology right now. Treatment should start soon."

"Perfect!" House said. "Then, go back in there and see how it goes."

"But, we've been with the patient for the last five hours," Taub protested. "It's Thirteen and Foreman's turn to-"

"No. It'll only be Thirteen and Foreman's turn when I say it is. And right now, I'm saying you go back in there and monitor the patient to see if her status improves. Oh… and next time, you _**page**_ me if something happens," House reminded him with a smirk.

Taub sustained House's gaze for a few seconds, understanding this was a pure, gratuitous decision for the sake of teaching him another one of his moody boss' lessons, and knowing there was nothing to do against that, he sighed and left the room.

"I'm going home," House announced to Foreman and Thirteen, once Taub was out. "The patient should be fine now."

"Then why ask Taub to stay with her?" Foreman interrogated with a disapproving frown.

"Because, Taub loves it when he has to stay at the hospital overnight. It gives him a good reason to call for sympathy and receive special, extra attention from his wife when he comes home all washed out the next day."

"Oh, so you're saying separating Taub from his wife for unnecessary reasons is actually contributing to get them closer?" Thirteen said, rolling her eyes. "Wow, cunning plan…"

"Yeah, the least obvious are always the most efficient," House answered with a mischievous grin. Then he put his coat on and grabbed his cane. "You two can go too if you want," He added, placing his backpack on his shoulder.

Foreman stood up and went to the coffee machine. Seizing the pot, he slowly poured himself another cup of brown liquid.

"I think I'll stay," He said once he was done, turning around and staring at House with a smug self-satisfied look.

"As you like," House replied, smiling. And he limped out of the conference room.

* * *

As he sat on his bike's saddle, he glanced at his watch and read the time: 2.25am. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, sighing. It was definitely too late now to show up at her house and surprise her with a naughty night housecall. She was probably sound asleep, her body turned to the side, curled up into a fetal position, her right arm underneath her pillow, her raven curls spread all around her beautiful face… Fuck! He thought, sensing a gush of desire invade his whole body. He sighed again, louder and clenched his fists as hard as he could. Then he put his helmet on, resignedly and started the bike's engine; before it became impossible or even painful to decide which reasonable decision was the best to make, he promptly drove off. _To his place_.

For hours, he rolled and rolled in his bed. Sleep barely came to him, only a numb half-conscious state, which definitely wasn't appeasing. His sheets felt empty to him, his body was cold, and the space beside him was painfully incomplete, as if something, _someone_ who should have been there was missing. And of course _she_ was the one missing. He knew that. But it was not the emptiness itself that was profoundly irritating but more the _conspicuousness _of it. Why did her absences always have to be so obvious? Why did he have to experience them so vividly? He sighed, cursed, punched his pillow and rolled again. When his cell phone rang at seven in the morning, he picked it up before the first ringing had time to finish echoing in the air.

"I'll be right there," he said not even knowing if he had a good reason to.

"That's not really necessary," Foreman's calm voice announced.

"Patient's dead?" House asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No. She's just coming out of surgery."

"Surgery? What for?"

"She started complaining about headaches three hours ago and-"

"To the point!"

House heard Foreman puff his frustration.

"Intracranial pressure went to the roof. MRI revealed-"

"An aneurism?" House couldn't hide the surprise in his voice.

"In the parietal lobe, yes. Chase did a coil embolization but, he still had to put a shunt to drain the fluid out."

"Ok. I'll be right there," House said again.

"Seriously House, I'm just updating you because you asked, but other than that, you're not really needed now. She's in post op, unconscious. Your presence is not going to change much at this point."

"Aw, I'm shocked you could think that! Because actually, my presence is very much needed at this point since you seem incapable of figuring out what's killing her on your own."

"What do you mean? She's not dying. The surgery went well. The aneurism explains all her other symptoms. She's going to be fine now."

"Yeah, except she had all her symptoms _before_ her brain decided to swell and clot randomly."

"What do you mean?"

"Weren't you one of the doctors there when she had two MRIs to determine if she had a brainstem tumor? MRIs, if I'm not mistaken, which didn't reveal anything." House heard Foreman puff, upset, and he waited a little longer to let the information sink in. "We know she doesn't have CIDP. Now we also know it's not GBS but that it's spreading fast. And apparently, in all the cool places!"

"So what is it?" Foreman asked, his voice sounding a little bit more nervous than he would have wished.

"You've got twenty-five minutes to find out."

"Why?"

"Because that's the time it'll take me to get to the hospital. Then we can discuss why the patient's in a coma."

"She's not in a co-"

"You're right, sorry. Correct sentence is: then we can discuss why the patient is _more likely_ to fall into a coma."

"House, you do have an idea, right?"

"Of course I do! I always have lots of idea. Of all sorts!"

"I mean, about the patient."

"Oh that! Well, depends how you define the word 'idea' then..."

Without waiting for Foreman's answer, House hang up the phone and promptly got out of bed. Just as he'd said, twenty-five minutes later, he was limping into the conference room. The four doctors there looked drained. And completely clueless.

* * *

Black skirt? Burgundy dress? White shirt? Slate grey jacket? Cuddy was pacing up and down her bedroom in her underwear, throwing clothes on her bed and looking absolutely out of control. Why the hell was she so tense? "_It's just a damn Board meeting_" she thought. "_You've been through dozens of them already. Just get over yourself and everything will be fine._" She grabbed the black skirt and the white shirt, secretly liking the red dress more but opting for the more appropriate, formal outfit. The meeting was scheduled at nine in the morning. She was up since five; even before her alarm clock had rung. She was showered, fed, dressed. She was ready to go; although it was only 7.30 am and she would arrive more than an hour early. But she'd catch up on her mails. She'd have a moccacino in her office. She'd relax on her couch. Anything but pacing in her house like a lioness in a cage.

She arrived at PPTH a little before eight. She crossed the hall towards the clinic door and after a brief nod to the nurses she headed directly into her office. She was hanging her coat and scarf to the coat rack, when he entered, practically after her. She sucked in a sharp breath, surprised, but a smile immediately lit up her face. He smiled too, and confidently seized her by the waist. She dropped her briefcase and let him tug her in his arms. His masculine scent instantly filled her nostrils and the closeness of his large chest sheltering her, the mischief in his eyes, and the warmth of his embrace made her head spin a little. He was all she needed to feel good then, all she'd been thinking about without really being aware of it. She touched his cheek lightly with her fingertips and imperceptibly stretched her neck toward his face. He leaned down and she kissed him, tenderly, then thirstily, possessively, demandingly. He gave in to her lips, holding her tighter inside his arms and he let her tongue tease his buds, drink from his mouth and caress his palate. When the shudder that had invaded their bodies became too strong, they both drew apart, trying not to pant. He put both his hands on her ass and groped her possessively, pulling her against his hips. She felt the rising bulge there but forced her mind not to register it.

"What are you doing here?" she said, trying to keep her seriousness.

"I was just passing by."

She narrowed her eyes and pouted suspiciously.

"Ok!" he said, surrendering. "Maybe I was waiting for you. I knew you'd be here at dawn even though your meeting probably isn't until another hour at least."

Cuddy gave a quick glance at her watch.

"Actually, forty-five minutes," she said

"Same difference."

"You still didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"Morning quickie service!" he said joyfully, tightening his grip around her waist.

Seeing his half-serious face, Cuddy couldn't help but burst into a giggling fit.

"House! Just be serious for one minute! I have tons of things to think about before the meeting. I need to review the charts one last time to check if-"

"I am very serious. You know, actually, my quickie offer has a _real_ purpose. You're nervous. Sex will relax you."

"I don't need to be relaxed," she answered, speaking way too fast; and she wriggled a little to set herself free from his embrace.

Her face was tense, and she was undeniably nervous. He could feel it. But he knew the last thing she needed was to be more stressed. He sighed and let go of her. She took a step back and looked up at him, studying his face with an interrogative gaze.

"How's your patient?" she asked.

House stiffened imperceptibly.

"She's fine," he lied, avoiding her eyes.

"You stayed here all night?"

"No. I went back to my place."

"Oh."

The news seemed to unwind her. She came closer again and put her right palm flat on his torso, fidgeting and slightly rubbing her body against his, just suggestively enough to arouse him a little and set his endorphins level on fire. House took a deep breath and tilted his head back.

"Did you miss me like you said you would?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.

She caressed his chest with his hand. He closed his eyes.

"Not for one second! Sorry. You?

"Me neither."

"You so did! I felt it in the way you just kissed me. Actually I think someone lied about not wanting that quickie."

She rolled her eyes and removed her hand from his chest. She stooped down and grabbed her briefcase then she walked round her desk, and stood there, facing him. She put the briefcase in front of her and opened it. From the door where he'd stayed House watched her retrieve some documents and pile them on the corner of the desk's surface. Red folders, black folders, papers, charts, numbers. Her head was down, focused on the pages.

"It's just another meeting," he said with a low voice.

She held her hand up the air for a fleeting while. He saw her bit her lips, then she put the sheet down and looked up, planting her eyes in his.

"Am I important to you?" she asked out of the blue.

It startled him but he managed to hide it.

"It depends on what you mean by important. Do I have to rank you in a list of people only, or does this involve ranking Monster Truck races, thirty-year-old Bourbon and poker nights with Wilson as well?"

She puffed.

"House! I'm serious."

Her eyes were translucent, so pale they looked almost watery. There was a beat, infinite and airy, and he took one step forward.

"I thought I'd told you that already," he whispered.

She breathed in, slowly, and from the corner of his eye, he noticed her hands wobbling a little.

"Of course it's impor-"

"Not 'it', _me,_" she insisted, her voice beseeching.

"Yes," he said, intensely staring at her. "Yes, _you_ are important."

"Thank you," she sighed, as if relieved.

He squinted at her, taken aback.

"What the fuck was that?"

"Nothing." She lowered her eyes and put another folder atop the pile of documents. "I have some things I need to finish, I…"

She tipped her head up and there he was in front of her, just across her desk.

"You should have said yes to the quickie," he declared with a crooked smile.

"Later, maybe. Now go away!" she answered, an irresistible smile forming on the corner of her lips.

He whisked around and headed towards the exit.

"I heard that you know! There's no way you're gonna get out with it now."

* * *

"Intracranial pressure is normal. The shunt's flow is very low. She's-"

"Yes! Thank you. I can perfectly see how she is myself!" House said, sounding annoyed.

The nurse shrank a bit feeling unfairly verbally assaulted, but exited the room without making any further comment. Jenny Reed was back from post op, and she was lying on her hospital bed, still unconscious. Her hair had been shaved to insert the shunt and her head was bandaged. All sorts of drains were injecting or collecting fluids in and out of her body.

It was a little after nine in the morning and House was leaning against the wall in a corner of the room, looking at her and waiting to have an epiphany. But nothing seemed to make any sense. Symptoms of encephalitis that were not encephalitis, inflammations of the nerves and paresthesia that were not CIDP or Guillain Barre, autoimmune syndrome not responsive to steroids, he was feeling challenged, and unnerved. The door slid and Taub stepped inside the room.

"What are you doing here?" he asked House, surprised to find him here.

"Same goes with you. What are you doing here?"

"You told me to stay with the patient," Taub answered grudgingly, grabbing the medical file that was hung at the foot of the bed.

"It's nine in the morning. Go home," House grunted.

"No thanks. I'm fine here," Taub sustained House's gaze for an instant, then hang the file back to the bed. "It's odd. She was fine yesterday. And now look at her. Her symptoms aren't following any logical course…"

"Yeah, if only they could wear little tags with the name of the disease they're carrying written on it, that would help, right?" House remarked sarcastically.

Taub sighed and the door slid open again. House stiffened when he saw the silhouettes of two little girls entering the room and almost instantly sprawling on their mother's bed without consideration the next moment. One was probably six, or seven, and the other one, smaller, could have been maybe three. The husband followed shortly after and as soon as he spotted Taub and identified him as the man wearing a coat, hence the doctor who would 'knew,' he cornered him, blocking House's in the process as well.

"Doctor please," he said, his voice full of worry. "What does she have? Yesterday she was fine and now…"

"We're, err... doing our best to-" Taub looked down, embarrassed.

"The other doctor explained she was in surgery because her brain was bleeding…"

"Well, not exactly bleeding but-" Taub carried on.

Just feet away, the two kids on the bed were apparently arguing over which outfit should fit their ugly doll best. It had always been equally unbelievable and fascinating to House how much children could be so unaware of the reality of a drama happening just under their innocent eyes. They were waving their arms in every direction, and it could have been almost funny, in some sort of twisted ironic kind of way, if they weren't threatening to pull out a drip or a urine bag every now and then. House unceremoniously pushed Taub and the husband – a rather irresponsible father, from his point of view – aside and limped towards the bed.

"Hey, hey, HEY… Kiddos!" he addressed the children sharply. The girls instantly froze and looked up at him, puzzled. "Get out of that bed, ok?"

The two children bit their lips and glanced at their father, with interrogating gazes.

"Who are you?" the man said, as if he was only registering House's presence then.

"I'm the… the hospital reader!" House answered before Taub could say anything.

The man looked him up and down suspiciously.

"You don't carry any book!"

"Well of course! What's the point of reading in that room, the woman's in limbo!" House replied extravagantly.

Taub rolled his eyes and the husband mouth dropped open in astonishment.

"I wanna put the blue dress on!" one kid yelled from underneath House, distracting everyone's attention very appropriately at the very same moment. "Mommy says Belinda looks nicer and it matches her eyes."

"You don't even know your colors!" the other one answered, mockingly. "The dress is not blue it's green!"

The shrieking sounds and the obvious unfriendly glower the husband was throwing at House were enough to urge him to get out of the room. _That_ was exactly why he usually avoided visiting patients. He learned nothing there and he only made annoying encounters.

"No, it's not green. It's blue, it's BLUE! Mommy said it was blue!" the little voice kept arguing.

Already half way out, House stopped dead in his track and turned around to face the child again.

"What did you say your mommy told you about that dress?" he asked the little girl with a sugary voice.

The child stood still and docilely repeated.

"Mommy said the blue dress makes Belinda looks nicer," she pointed towards the doll's dress her sister was clutching inside her fingers. The dress was very obviously _green_.

Taub came closer, intrigued and House snatched the ophthalmic pen from his coat's front pocket. He pushed the little girl aside and came closer to the bedside, leaning down towards the unconscious woman lying there. He turned the pen on and lifted her eyelid, pointing the light beam to her pupil.

"Hey! What's he doing?" her husband instantly protested, when he saw House touching his wife.

Taub halted him, lifting his arm up. "That's ok," he said. "Dr. House is checking your wife's eyes."

"_Doctor _House?" the man repeated, incredulously. "But he said he-"

"Yes, Dr. House likes to… make jokes," Taub said, smiling embarrassingly.

"She has retinal vasculitis," House announced, straightening up. "How could you NOT see that!" he accused Taub with a glare. "It's all over her eyes."

"I… But… She-" Taub stuttered.

"What does that mean?" the husband anxiously asked, taking a step towards the bed.

"It means your wife has Behçet's Disease."

Taub peered at House with a dubious frown.

"All the symptoms seem to tally, but you forget something: she has no skin lesions, no ulcerations…"

"And is it a bad sign?" the husband asked concerned.

"No, it only means we're not absolutely sure what she has," Taub started.

House furiously glared at him, shooting daggers at him.

"We ARE sure," he cut him off, reaching for a syringe in a drawer near the bed.

But it was already too late. The husband promptly stood in between and blocked access to his wife's body.

"No," he said, with a definite voice. "You're not touching her."

* * *

"Very good presentation, Dr. Cuddy," said a man at the Board table, looking at her with a fond smile.

"Thank you," she replied, gathering her documents in front of her and taking a seat again.

Seated on the chair just next to her, Wilson turned his head to the side and gave her a friendly nod. Cuddy sighed, imperceptibly relieved and allowed her to slouch into her chair's backrest a little. The presentation was done. The budget numbers were coherent and everything pointed in favor of a quick vote of approval. That was, until a voice came from the opposite side of the oval table.

"Dr. Cuddy, that's a very interesting aspect of the budget you're submitting to the Board, but I think you omitted to consider the question of future medical equipment acquirement-"

The relieving part had barely lasted two minutes. Dr. Campbell was sitting across Cuddy and looked at her with a challenging gaze.

"Not at all, Dr. Campbell," Cuddy answered, with a forced grin. "I've been informed of your request, asking the hospital to acquire two new gamma cameras for your Department of Cardiology, but unfortunately it seems unreasonable to encumber this year's budget with investments that are unnecessary at this point. The hospital, as I do recall, is already in possession of two similar items."

"One of which is in Radiology," Campbell argued, raising his voice a little.

"The number of scintigraphies performed by the Cardiology Department is not showing any particular increase in the last six months that would require buying new equipment."

"Because we have to remove some procedures from the schedule, sometimes even re-direct patients to Princeton General, for lack of availability of the machine."

"What do you mean?" Wilson couldn't help but take part in the exchange.

"The gamma camera is requisitioned for cardiac exams which, more than half of the time, are prescribed for nonessential, even extravagant reasons. It mobilizes the machine to the detriment of patients who really need the exam."

Every head turned in Cuddy's direction. She lowered her eyes for a split second, looking at her folders in front of her; then she took a deep breath and tilted her head up again.

"Why don't you specifically name the Department you're holding responsible for that?" Cuddy said bitterly, knowing where this was going all too well.

She had tried her best to avoid it, but it seemed some things were just sadly meant to happen.

"Well, well, well!" Campbell almost chanted, his grin widening. "You seem piqued just at the prospect of hearing who's concerned…"

"I'm not. We all know you're talking about Dr. House here and the Department of Diagnosis. There is no mystery that you and he are not exactly great friends."

"While, on the contrary," Campbell carried on obsequiously. "It seems that you and Dr. House get along very well, am I right?"

* * *

"Listen," House said through clenched teeth to the husband standing stubbornly on his way. "Your wife HAS Behçet's. All she needs is to be treated by methylprednisone and she'll be fine."

"This doctor here says it's not sure. He was there with my wife all the time. Not you. That's the first time I see you. You appear, and then you decide my wife has some new disease that none of the doctors once mentioned before… Why should I believe _you_?"

"You stupid bastard," House said, turning to Taub. "You failed to recognize a symptom and now you want to cover your ass by setting the husband against me?"

Taub set his lips and didn't answer.

"Take the kids out," House ordered him grimly.

The children were sitting on a couch near the window, barely paying attention.

"But-" Taub started.

"Take them out!"

Taub took the little girls by the hand and walked them out of the room. The husband opened his mouth to protest, but as soon as the children had stepped outside, House kicked him hard in the kneecap with his cane, taking him completely off guard. The pain forced him to bend and made him jumped backwards, clearing the access to the bed. House swiftly came close and drew the sheets apart abruptly, uncovering the woman in the bed. Before her husband could react, House seized one pair of latex gloves on the nightstand and put one on. Then, as unceremoniously as he'd proceed until then, he spread the woman's legs open and dived in between for a vaginal exam. The husband, in shock, tried to straighten up but House kept him down, pressing him against the wall with his foot while he completed the examination.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" the husband yelled, struggling to set himself free.

* * *

"I am not going to tolerate such insinuation about my private life!"

"Are you denying that you and Dr. House are in a relationship?"*

"Campbell! That's enough!" Wilson said, chivalrously jumping to Cuddy's rescue.

"That's ok James," Cuddy said, putting a reassuring hand on Wilson's forearm. She locked eyes with Campbell again and stared intensely into his dark eyes.

"No. You're right. Dr. House and I are in a relationship."

A whooshing sound crossed the room as everyone started whispering comments to his nearest neighbor. Cuddy registered the agitation and swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat, keeping a poker face, and sitting up straight and proud on her chair.

"But," She went on, "this relationship is not going to affect my professional position as Dr. House's supervisor. I intend to keep my private life perfectly separate from my work and Dr. House and I, though both aware of the challenge, agreed not to let the two interfere."

Every doctor's eyes around the table turned in her direction. Cuddy felt the weight of their scrutinizing stares on her. Some silently nodded their approval; some, however, frowned skeptically. Campbell gave a look around the table to assess everyone's attitude and noticing the ones who seemed unsure and ready to join his protesting side, he looked at Cuddy and raised his chin almost triumphantly.

"Are you sure?" he asked provokingly. "How about in a day, a week, a month from now, when Dr. House will undoubtedly put the hospital's name on the upfront again, unfortunately for bad reasons, _again_. How can you guarantee us that you will still be able to make the difference then?"

Cuddy bravely stomached the unfair accusation and felt her heart speed up in her chest. Beside her, Wilson was looking intensely at her, searching for her gaze. She gave him a quick side glance and when he saw her look of disenchantment and the sadness in her eyes, it infuriated him.

"Please, ladies and gentlemen," he said, upset. "As the Dean of Medicine, Dr. Cuddy has always remained extremely professional in every circumstance and you all know that. She proved on more than one occasion that she was undoubtedly making the right decisions for this hospital, _her_ hospital. And today, if we're among the twelve best ranked teaching hospitals in this country in more than three must specialties, we all owe it to her work."

Cuddy felt inwardly relieved by Wilson's friendly words but she knew it wouldn't be enough to silence the spiteful tongues of her accusers. She gently put her hand on Wilson's forearm to stop him and she stared at her peers in front of her. Then she gathered her files and documents and stood up.

"Thank you Wilson. I appreciate your support. But I also hear everyone's concern." She gulped and her hand started to tremble a little. She leaned down and put her palm flat on the table to steady her. "You're right. Being in a relationship with someone you work with can indeed be a source of problem, let alone the fact that there are hierarchic bonds between the persons involved…"

"_Am I important to you?" … "Yes. You are important."_ House's voice resonated in her head and gave her the strength to carry on.

"But this is _my_ source of problem. Dr. House's Department is one of the most acknowledged in this country. I trust him to do his job, in respect of the hospital's rules. If a problem occurs, which I'm confident it won't then, I will deal with it, like I've always done before. I intend to administrate this hospital with an absolute and unquestionable integrity. Once again, my private relationship with Dr. House will not interfere. But, it seems that you have some difficulties admitting that as a fact, so I suggest to put into vote whether you consider I should keep my position or not, and submit your decision to the Board one week from now, in light of what I have done up until then regarding the issue Dr. Campbell mentioned."

Wilson swiftly turned to the side and stared at her, completely stunned.

"Cuddy, no…"

"That's okay Wilson. It's fine. I can deal with my priorities myself."

She collected the files, turned on her heels, and walked away, leaving every doctor in the room flabbergasted.

* * *

In the middle of what looked like an incomprehensible fracas, Taub reentered the patient's room, after he had entrusted the two little girls to one of the nurses, only to find House bent between the woman's legs and apparently carrying out a gynecologic exam. The husband, sitting on the floor, holding his knee, was making every effort to stand up again and stop him, yelling his fuming anger and outrage as loud as he could, but House was keeping him at bay.

"House!" Taub exclaimed in shock, when he registered the scene, "What the hell-"

Before he could finish his sentence, House straightened up and turned around to face him, a look of victory on his face.

"There," he said, taking off his glove and throwing it on the floor behind him. "Your ulcerations. You got them. There're all over the patient's vagina! Is that enough proof to convince you she has Behçet's now or do you want to wait until she has another brain stroke?"

House had stepped away from the bed, liberating enough space for the husband to sit up straight and stand up again. As soon as he stood on his two feet, he jumped at House's throat like a fury.

"You asshole! Who do you think you are?" he shouted, raising his clenched fist in the air, ready to punch House on the face

But, at the very same instant, the inert body of the woman on the bed started to shake uncontrollably, hitting the sides of the bed, ripping off a drip from her wrist and setting off the alarm of the monitoring machine. Her husband, staggered, held his hand back and rushed towards her.

"What's happening?" he said, disoriented.

House stepped back and watched the scene while Taub, with the help of two nurses, tried to immobilize the patient.

"She's convulsing," House said mater-of-factly.

(...)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_If things are not too crazy for me, I would love to write at least the next chapter before next Monday._

_and like I said, your comments ARE the best encouragement for me! ;)_

_Last week-end before the end of hiatus... YAY! _

_brace yourself and KEEP YOUR HUDDY FAITH! __~ maya_


	72. Chapter 72

_Hi everybody!_

_I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Things didn't really go as I'd have wished they did…_

_I hope you all had a wonderful holiday, and that whatever you celebrate, December has been a kind, jolly and festive month for you and your loved ones._

_Here's the new chapter. I know it probably doesn't make up for the delay, but it's a rather long one. I hope you'll like it. Remember we left Cuddy, just out of her Board meeting, and House caught in the midst of a challenging case…_

* * *

**** Chapter 72 ****

"What the hell was that?"

Wilson stormed into Cuddy's office and found her, seated on her couch, absorbed in paperwork. She jumped slightly at the sound of the door opening and sighed when she recognized Wilson. As she was stubbornly not answering, Wilson carried on.

"Cuddy, tell me you weren't serious back there?"

There would be no definite way out of this until she'd have accepted to let Wilson torture her with another one of his famous guilt talks. Resigned, Cuddy put her paperwork down on the table in front of her and sat up straight.

"I was," she simply said.

"For God's sake," Wilson exclaimed, taking a seat in the armchair beside the couch. "Have you completely lost your mind? You can't let that smug asshole impress you like he did and put your job on the line just to please him. You're giving credit to his blackmail!"

"Wilson, just please, don't overreact, okay? Not you. Not now. I need my friends to support me. Not to act like crazy people on drugs…"

Wilson's eyes widened in shock, but at the same time, he readjusted his stance and seemed to calm down a little. Cuddy inwardly smiled at his obvious embarrassment.

"You're the one who warned me about Campbell," she went on. "And I thank you for that because it gave me enough time to think this through, and believe me Wilson, I'm not yielding to anyone's blackmail here."

Her heart was beating fast and she was trying to hide the fact that she was actually short of breath. Because she was so not as relaxed and confident as she appeared to be. She was scared and the truth was, she'd felt cornered. But she didn't have any other choices… Of course, she'd thought about her options. She'd weighed them all, but the moment Wilson had mentioned Campbell and his anger for not being granted with new equipments to the detriment of House's department, Cuddy had known this will lead to no other mess but this one. She was not very fond of it and damn! she was fuming with anger for being forced to do it but, somehow, after contemplating the possible outcomes, she'd come to the conclusion that, even though it was risky, offering an implicit deal with the Board by asking to give her a vote of confidence was the only way to shut Campbell's big mouth up definitely. She knew it was a gambling move, especially considering most of it was relying on her faith that House would behave and not blow this up with one of his crazy acts, but she wanted to believe she'd done the right thing. She _needed_ to believe she had. If she couldn't trust House anyway, she would never be able to do her job. She hated to admit it, but Campbell was right. Many times she'd asked herself the same question: was she really totally impartial with House? How much did her feelings for him interfere in the process of her supervising him?

So no, there were not many solutions and that was all.

"I gave this a lot of thoughts, I don't want you to think I'm making inconsiderate decisions-" she said.

"I know you're not, but…" Wilson sighed and it let all his aggravation out in one heavy puff of air. "I hate that you have to do it! Lisa… I'm so sorry."

"Why the hell would you be?" she exclaimed. "Come on! This is not your fault. I'm fine, I swear. Please now, would you leave me alone? I have things to do."

That was a lie and Wilson probably knew it was but as the good, perfectly devoted friend he was, he pretended he didn't and stood up.

"Take care of yourself," he said with lost puppy eyes before starting to head toward the exit.

He was so dripping empathy through every pore of his skin, it was becoming a little ridiculous and it made her want to smile. She was incapable of explaining why or how the hell it worked, but the truth was Wilson's constant, exaggerated and dramatic way of worrying over the tiniest things had the mysterious and paradoxical power of soothing her. It was a complete nonsense, in a way, but it helped her rationalize the facts objectively and ultimately it made her feel better.

"Wilson?"

He stopped and turned around to face her, worry already spreading on his face once more.

"You know, I just hired Erin. And I like her. So please, don't screw this up…"

"Huh?" Wilson's mouth dropped open, but then he saw the mischievous glitter in Cuddy's eyes and he sighed, resigned. "Of course, House told you," he mumbled.

"Sure he did, what do you think?" she said, a little provokingly. "Wilson, what I mean is I'm happy for you. Sincerely. And, just in case you're wondering, House is happy for you too, although he'd rather be caught hugging Chase than admit it…"

She chuckled and Wilson shook his head, feeling helpless and suddenly lacking all the right words he'd have needed to formulate a proper answer. He was perfectly aware though that Cuddy's friendly, albeit surprising, reminder of him dating the new gynecologist was the perfect strategy to put an end to the conversation and, at the same time, give her an opportunity to take over the reins again, to show that, as the boss, she was entitled to know everything and even express an opinion about it. He noticed she'd imperceptibly sat up on her couch, her shoulders perfectly straight, her chin high and her gaze slightly challenging. That was definitely time for him to leave.

"You wanna have lunch with me?" he asked, in a spontaneous fit.

She quickly bit her lips and tilted her head down for a second.

"No thanks." She looked at the pile of files on the coffee table in front of her. "I… I think I'm gonna go home now. Now shoo, patients need you."

He gave her a faint smile and left. Alone in her office again, Cuddy contemplated her options for a short while. It was almost noon and she was already feeling drained. Maybe she could dupe Wilson and pretend she was fine, but she couldn't lie to herself. She was not that okay and she needed to get away from this stressing environment, at least for the rest of the day. Not something she was used to doing, but hell if she didn't deserve it! One thing she'd learned in spite of herself, living at House's sides all those months, was that there was no shame in wanting to think about her first. Yet a little awestruck by her own boldness, she was allowing herself to be selfish and it was very conveniently not tweaking her sense of guilt all that much. Or maybe she was so tired she couldn't see all the reasons why it was a bad decision to make. She checked her watch and gave one last glance at her files then she resolutely stood up. Yes, she was definitely going home and taking the afternoon off.

In the parking lot, she suddenly thought about House and she found herself furiously missing him. Maybe he'd be willing to join her. Who was she fooling? Of course he would! House practically invented the concept of taking the afternoons off. And the mornings as well. Actually House had long ago entirely reinvented the concept of working hours. So there was a good chance he'd be jumping on the occasion, and probably… her, she thought with a coy smile as she took her cell phone and dialed his number.

After a few tones, she reached his voicemail.

"_Hi, this is Gregory House. Well not Gregory House actually, only his phone. But you know that already, right? Which means, IF you've something interesting to say, you know you gotta speak after the BEEEEEEEEEP… but not that one. That one was just me, mimicking the beep… Ok, so now is the real beep: your turn!" _

She couldn't explain why but she felt a wave of awkward uneasiness overwhelm her. _"If you've something interesting to say"_ he'd said. And suddenly, she remembered that conversation they had on the phone the day before about her giving him calls just to let him know what she was doing, or where she was going.

_I don't need you to reassure me. I don't want you to. That's not helping with my carpe diem philosophy…_

She heard his voice, resonating in her head. Then she heard the beep of his phone and she felt stupid.

"Hi," she said with a sheepish voice. "I…uh… I just… well, I guess you're busy. I was calling to say… _almost_ calling to say that uh… well, I was going to the bathroom, metaphorically, you know? But… I mean, that was really stupid. I'm sorry… Call me later, ok?"

She hung up and swiftly put the phone back in her pocket before stepping inside her car. What was she thinking? She'd almost called him to tell him she was leaving work, after her meeting, which went fine… at least, that's what she'd have said. But damn! It would have just been a report! That's what she'd almost called him for: to make a freaking report of her morning, while it was exactly the kind of things he'd asked her not to do. God! She was so naive, lost, confused. Tired actually. She needed to go home and, for the first time in years, she thought she might very well go to bed and fall asleep, right away. In the middle of the day.

* * *

"Just try to see things from his point of view," Taub suggested, trying to explain the situation in the most neutral way he could. "The husband is… uh… a little angry."

"The husband's a moron!" House exclaimed, yelling his annoyance.

They were back in the conference room. Back to absolute helplessness and worse, total inefficiency.

"She _has_ Behçet's!" House continued to bark, obviously furious. "All she needs is a goddamn shot of corticosteroids and she'll start recovering."

"You hit the guy," Foreman said matter-of-factly, still not believing what had happened in the patient room a few hours earlier.

"Because he's a moron!" House repeated, his voice raising a notch with anger.

"You can't hit a patient… or a patient's relative," Kutner stated calmly, looking down.

"Oh please! Don't go all Cameron on me. I just don't 'hit' patients, for the pleasure of hitting them. Don't you think I had a reason?"

"A reason to hit a patient's relative?" Thirteen said, faking to give it a thought. "Hmm, I don't know, I guess I must have skipped that class in Med School."

House glowered at her and she smiled faintly. They all knew they were facing a dead end and that the only, now very slim, chance to make the patient get better was to find a way to administrate her the right treatment. Unfortunately, a medical act which should have been simple, had now become rather challenging, as Gary Reed, the patient's husband, had formally stated he was strongly opposed to any doctor of House's Department, and especially House himself, approaching his wife.

"We lost one day for nothing!" House groaned reproachfully, limping up and down the room like a lion in a cage. "And this is _your_ fault!" He stopped abruptly and glared at Taub who was sitting at the conference table. "Dammit, even a freshman Med student wouldn't have missed vasculitis, for crying out loud, you…"

"House!" Foreman raised his voice and cut him short. "It doesn't make any difference now."

"Yes, it does!"

"Sure! Because maybe, it'd have prevented you from going all OB-Gyn on the patient, in front of her husband, who you'd just hit to immobilize him!" Taub retorted angrily. "I spent half an hour with the guy afterward, apologizing for your inexcusable behavior, to prevent him from suing the hospital.

"I bet you did! That's the least you could do given the fact that you're the one who made him doubt my diagnostic in the first place, _correct_ diagnostic if I may add, which is what forced me to seek for proof of skin lesions in places where you usually last want to check!"

"Guys, guys, hey!" Thirteen suddenly exclaimed, with a clearly upset voice. "How much longer do we have to nitpick over who did what, despite how totally irrelevant it is, while our patient still isn't receiving her treatment?"

House stood agape for a split second.

"Excuse me?" he said, not completely able to hide the amused grin behind his surprise. "Did you basically just tell us to shut up?"

Thirteen shifted in her chair uncomfortably but bravely sustained House's gaze. Foreman raised an eyebrow, intrigued, and Kutner finally tilted his head up to watch the scene.

"Uh… not _exactly_… But, admit we're running out of time here. Don't you think we'd need to use our energy to convince the patient to okay his wife's treatment?"

House squinted at her and his smile widened a little.

"Because of course, you think you can do that?" he slightly tantalized.

"I'm a woman-"

"Are you?"

"I think I can make him see the logic of our point from a feminine, _softer_ side…" Thirteen offered.

"Yeah, sure!" House mocked. "If only he knew about _that_…"

Thirteen cringed and raised her chin up. House studied her a little longer and then he turned his gaze towards Taub, who was seated his head down beside her.

"Ok! But you bring the Tolkien doctor with you. Husband seems to have identified him as the holly messenger of all things medical." House smirked and Thirteen got up, swiftly followed by Taub who was too happy to have a pretext to leave the room.

Once they'd left, House stood in the room, at the end of the conference table, conspicuously staring at Kutner and Foreman who were still there, not moving, but at the same time looking a bit embarrassed. Kutner grabbed the file in front of him before House got a chance to talk and stood up.

"I… uh…" he said hesitantly, "I'm going… uh… to the lab?" he suggested sheepishly.

There was absolutely nothing to do in the lab of course, but there were however a lot of reasons to want to be elsewhere, not in the same room as House, right in that moment. Something House himself and Kutner admittedly both acknowledged just as strongly.

House nodded and watched Kutner leave the outer office.

"Foreman-" he prompted.

Foreman sighed heavily and, standing up as well, reluctantly folded the medical review he was reading under his arm.

"Sure, ok. I'll go do… things elsewhere too," he puffed sarcastically, heading out.

Once alone, House walked into his office and fell into his chair. He put his face into his hands for a moment, rubbing his forehead with the tip of his fingers and massaging his temples with his thumbs. Then he remembered his cell phone had buzzed earlier and he checked if the caller had left a message.

"_I…uh… I just… well, I guess you're busy."_ Her voice echoed in the receiver and a light shiver ran down his spine. After all this time, just the sound of her low, slightly husky voice was still having the same erotic effect on him. But he was not going to try to explain what it meant, or every implication it had. No. He tightened his grip on the receiver though and pressed it closer to his ear. _"I was calling to say… almost calling to say __that uh… well, I was going to the bathroom, metaphorically, you know? But… I mean, that was really stupid. I'm sorry… Call me later, ok?_"

He slid the cell phone shut and frowned dubiously. What did that mean? _Going to the bathroom?_ Why had she said that? Oh yes, he remembered now. She was referring to what he'd told her the day before, sarcastically, comparing her updating him on every little detail about what she was about to do with the kind of inappropriate information she'd been giving him if she started to let him know when she was going to pee… Yeah, basically, that's what he'd said. He closed his eyes and rubbed his face again. God, he was tired!

He opened the cell phone again and dialed her number. When he reached her voicemail, he felt disappointed but waited for the beep to allow him to speak.

"So? Was it just a small pee, or did you end up having a poo?" he joked, and then felt stupid. He stayed silent for a few seconds. "I mean, I got your message… obviously!" He justified himself and felt even more stupid. He took a deep breath and looked around him at his empty office briefly, "Ok, not at all the kind of things I wanted to say!… Actually, well, actually, I… uh… don't really have anything to say. But, you and I, we have this sort of tradition going on between us about calling each other to say nothing! And you know how much I hate changes, right?" He smiled faintly and clutched the receiver tighter. "I mean, sometimes I say things that make no sense; But I like your messages about nothing… And, the messenger even more…"

He swiftly shut the cell phone close and almost threw it on his desk as if it'd been burned by its contact. _Not at all the kind of things he wanted to say._ He was really turning into a ball of soft marshmallow. He was so perfectly acknowledging it. And there was this part in him, which was _still_ struggling against it. And this other one, the one that got him more concerned, which was in fact sort of… accepting it. He stared at his phone and scratched the back of his head. _I like your messages about nothing… and the messenger even more._ Jesus! He sounded like a lame, pathetic, _virgin_ version of himself. Luckily for him, before he got time to start dissecting the multitude of possible reasons there was to explain him being so… soft? Thirteen and Taub entered his office, looking defeated.

"It didn't work," House stated, already knowing the answer.

"The guy's a moron," Thirteen puffed.

"Did you hit him?" House smiled, amused.

She smirked back and shook her head disapprovingly.

"So what do we do now?" Taub asked.

"We treat her!"

"But… her husband doesn't want us to approach his wife."

House stood up and walked round his desk.

"Yeah, but when did we ever let the patients, or their relatives, be the ones in charge anyway?" he said with a new-found assertiveness and he stormed out decidedly.

"What's he gonna do?" Taub asked worriedly.

"Treat her!" Thirteen repeated, with unhidden excitement in her voice and she quickly walked out to catch up with House.

* * *

"What are you going to do?" Taub was asking, trotting behind House to keep up with his boss' pace.

House just waved his hand in the air dismissively and kept on striding toward the patient's room. But once they approached near enough, he was halted in his progression by the startling sight of someone, standing in the hallway, just outside the door.

"What's that?" House asked a little taken aback, promptly hiding behind a pillar not to get spotted.

"Uhm, that, is a… uh, a security guard," Taub replied, although the answer was obvious.

"Geez! That guy really deserves a medal for being the biggest pain in the ass…"

Thirteen couldn't hold back her ironic smile.

"Upsetting, right?" she teased.

House sent her a half-convinced glare, for the sake of it, and refocused on his goal.

"You!" he commended, pointing his chin at Taub. "Go in that room and take the husband out, if he's in there."

"What? How?"

"I don't care! Find a reason! Paper to sign, new test results…"

"We have no new test results-" Taub tried to object.

"Does he actually know that?"

"Well, uh… no, but-"

"Then good! Now go there and get rid of him."

Taub looked down at his feet for a moment, as if searching for inspiration, or some strength to resist House's order, but he finally tilted his head up and walked toward the room, resignedly. When he approached, the guard eyed him suspiciously but after a brief exchange, he let him in. The door slid open and Taub disappeared inside. A few minutes after, he walked out, followed by the patient's husband who looked a bit worried and eager to receive answers. They headed towards the lounge, further down the hallway.

"You!" Thirteen was absorbed watching the scene. She jumped slightly at House's exclamation and looked back at him. "Go distract that guard," he commanded.

"Of course," she pouted, vexed. "And, how am I supposed to do that?"

"How the hell would I know? You're a sexy twenty something, he's a male. Go shake your… things in front of him! Giggle… whatever! I'm sure you'll find something to drag him away from that door long enough for me to enter."

"House, what do you plan on doing?" she asked concerned.

He leaned down slightly and looked her right in the eyes with gravity.

"Nothing you'd need to know _specifically_." he stressed, with an intense, knowing gaze.

Thirteen bit her lips and walked away without any further comment. House observed her approach the guard from afar and play the seductive card. By the dumb look on the guy's face and the way he seemed already irresistibly fooled by her bluff, there was no doubt he was going to cave in no time. House smiled faintly and suddenly thought about what he was going to do. He fished his cell phone out of his pants' pocket and contemplating his options, he tried to convince himself that he really needed to call _her_ first; that it was the right thing to do. He sighed and dialed Cuddy's number, a bit reluctantly. After three tones, he ended up on her voicemail again. He briefly thought about how a little unusual it was, but he quickly moved on, happy about the convenience. He hung up before the beep even allowed him to leave a message. Only seconds after, Thirteen and the guard were walking away towards the vending machine at the end of the hallway, laughing and poking each other's in the ribs playfully. House waited a little longer until he was sure the guard's attention was completely distracted and he wouldn't all of a sudden remember to look back at the door he was supposed to watch. When he approached the room, a zealous nurse noticed he was about to enter and she felt the – stupid – need to call out to him loudly, asking what he was doing. It caught the guard's attention, who from the end of the hallway swung around towards the sound of the interjection. House was standing in the doorway, half way in, and he and the guard locked eyes. The guard started to run in his direction, more out of reflex than for pure efficiency since he already knew it was pointless and he wouldn't be fast enough to get there in time to prevent House from entering. Ironically, quite simultaneously, from the other end of the hallway, the husband, with Taub at his side, came back from the lounge, looking a bit upset, visibly aware that he'd been distracted for no valid reasons. When he saw House at the threshold of his wife's room and the guard running in his direction, he shot Taub a fuming glare and yelled, in the characteristic way everyone who feels helpless usually does.

House entered the room and locked himself inside, blocking the door with his cane while, on the other side, the guard and the husband slammed on the glass with their clenched fists to express how very strongly they disapprove of the situation.

"Open that door!" the husband yelled again, which House of course didn't. "You!" he accused, turning in the guard's direction. "Open that door!" But the guard was unable to do anything either.

House watched them stomp in rage and he nodded apologetically to them, mouthing a conspicuous "I'm sorry" before shutting the curtains and blocking the view. Then, knowing it wouldn't take long before they'd find a way to break in, he did what he'd come to do. He fumbled into the cabinets and drawers to get what he was looking for. When he found the syringe, he promptly uncapped it and came at the bedside.

Jenny Reed was lying in the bed, semi-unconscious, but the noise seemed to have drawn her slowly back to the surface of perception.

"Gary? S'that you?" she mumbled, trying to prop herself on her elbows.

"No, that's not Gary," House answered, poking the needle into the infusion pump and pushing the liquid into the drip.

The patient's eyelids were fluttering rapidly, as she was struggling to keep her eyes open, but her head was turned into House's direction.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm curing you," he said self-confidently, and then he turned the pump to increase the drug flow into the drip.

Just when he was done, the door of the room finally re-opened, sending his cane flying in the room and landing in a corner. Thirteen and Taub devotedly barged inside first and threw themselves in the path to create a convenient obstruction between House and the husband before he would jump at his throat.

"You're INSANE!" he shouted, pointing an accusing finger in House's direction above Taub's shoulder, "and I swear… I swear this time, you'll hear from me!"

House's sustained his glare for a second then he walked to the door, and leaned down to grab his cane. Standing at the doorsill, he looked the husband in the eyes confidently.

"Do what you have to do, I don't care," he said calmly, "I did my job. And your wife _is_ going to get better."

And he left the room, leaving the husband flabbergasted.

* * *

Of course, to prove his point, and also to make his plan work efficiently like he needed it to work, House had to push the drug dosage up a little above the average – _a lot_ above the average to be more precise – so that he'd be sure the effect of methylprednisolone would actually take effect on the patient. He knew he only had one shot, _literally_, so he couldn't afford giving her a pointless, normal dosage that would only bring them back to square one, fighting against the patient's husband stupid stubbornness, once the effects would have dissipated.

And of course, administrating a high dosage of methylpredinisolone was like gambling in a horse race, even if, in that particular circumstance, they kind of already knew the name of the winner, but they still had to buy the ticket, place their gamble, which House already did and now, they also had to wait until the race would actually happen, praying the horse that was supposed to win would not trip on the field and fell, sending the jockey to crash on the ground.

House had retreated in his office, not really willing to leave the hospital already, knowing that he had to stay and wait for the first signs of improvement, or worsening, although he refused to acknowledge that second alternative. He was right. And he'd done the right thing. In the most unorthodox way maybe, but the only thing that mattered was that he'd soon be proven to be right!

Hours passed. Endless, long hours. Too much preoccupied about his case, House didn't call Cuddy back, and the day stretched, bringing yet another long dark night of wait. Wilson paid him a visit early in the evening, but House dismissed him jerkily with a snappish comment, which merely had Wilson roll his eyes for a split second and then leave, only half-upset or even surprised, if not less, by House's grumpy manner.

Family visits were only allowed until seven pm, so once that limit was over, House was free to go in the patient's room to check her vitals by himself; which he did, but he unfortunately bumped into the guard who was still there, and who, as soon as he saw him approach, straightened up and shifted to the side to block the door access.

"Oh come on!" House exclaimed exasperated. "You know I'm _a doctor_ and not actually Jack the Ripper or some other serial killer who's here to slaughter the patient, right?"

"Listen, I'm sorry, I'm here to do my job, that's all," the guy answered, embarrassingly, and House immediately knew he would ultimately let him enter the room.

"And so am I! So, how about you come with me inside and just see by yourself that what I'm here to do is only to check if she's ok?" House offered. The guard frowned and seemed to consider the option. "I swear I won't touch anything: no drain, drip or needle that's hooked to the patient."

The guard looked around at the desert hallway and sighed. House smiled at him and watched him slide the door open. Once inside the room, House spontaneously approached the bed, but the guard held him back, griping his arm.

"No. You don't come near her," he said, with a definite tone.

"But how am I supposed to check her vitals if I can't touch her…" House whined dramatically, hoping to make him see the nonsense of the situation.

"No," the guard repeated adamant.

The patient wriggled in her bed and moaned slightly. House instantly recognized the signs of awakening and decided not to push his luck.

"Okay," he agreed, and he stepped back from the bedside.

"Who's here?" Jenny Reed uttered almost inaudibly turning her head in the direction of the sound that had dragged her out of her slumber.

"Doctor House, and…" House turned to the guard and read the tag on his jacket, "Ryan. We're here to ask you some questions. Well just me, in fact, Ryan's only here to keep me company!"

Ryan smirked and House discreetly took a small step towards the bed.

"Doctor House?" the patient repeated incredulous. "Doctor House, are you?... the doctor who…"

"Yeah, that's me," House promptly cut her off before she would get a chance to finish her sentence. "Listen, just answer my questions and I'll be out of here in no time so you can get back to sleep, ok?"

"Mmkay."

"How's your head? Are you feeling any headache right now?" He asked and the patient instinctively reached out her hand to touch her skull, where the drain from her previous operation was still installed. "No! Don't touch that!" House warned authoritatively.

The patient removed her hand from her head just in time and House shot Ryan a threatening glare, designed to make him feel guilty, but which was mostly implying: "Be scared of possibly losing your job if anything goes wrong in the patient's room while you authorized an unauthorized person to enter."

"Alright, fine! You can go near her and do whatever you have to do!" the guard puffed, shaking his head at House and averting his gaze, defeated, immediately after.

House approached the patient's bedside and took her wrist. Counting the pulse, while watching his watch, he went on with his anamnesis.

"Do you feel dizzy?"

"No."

"Do you feel any tightness in the chest?"

The patient straightened up a little in her bed and took a deep breath, then waited as if she was hesitating to decide how she was really feeling. House dropped her wrist and gave her a worried glance.

"No," she finally said.

"Good. And are you thirsty, more than usual, that is? Does your throat aches?"

"No… and no."

"Open your mouth," House instructed.

He checked her tongue, then her legs to see if any of her lower limbs was swollen, and then he checked her pupils, pointing the light of an ophthalmic pen at her irises. When he was done, he put the pen back in the drawer and walked away from the bed towards the exit door, without a comment. Ryan looked at him, a bit intrigued and the patient, now widely awake, sent him a panic look.

"What? Doctor House? What is it? What's happening to me?"

House stopped and offered her his most famous self-righteous grin.

"Nothing," he said. "You're getting better, that's all."

* * *

The next morning, House arrived at the hospital around nine thirty, after an almost nonexistent night of restless sleep, alone at his place since, when he finally was able to leave the night before, it was way past the reasonable hour where it still could have looked decent to knock on her door and not just creepily sex-deprived. Ergo that morning, somehow a bit relieved that his case was finally solved, although he was not going to admit it, he was really eager to see her. They seemed to have done nothing but missed each other in the past three days and he was in furious need of the touch of her skin on his skin, the feel of her lips on his lips, the womanly curve of her hips inside his hands, the scent of her shampoo in his nostrils. In one word, he was in furious need of _her_. So instead of heading toward the elevators, he swiveled round, unhesitant, and walked into the clinic, and towards her office. He spotted Warren, bent over his desk, filling forms like an industrious student and, in an unusual good mood, House decided to stop and announce himself first.

"Hi Warren!" he exclaimed, which made Warren jolt in his chair. "How'r you?"

The young man pulled himself together and smiled. He and House had learned how to find a sort of common ground throughout the months, and it was almost as if they were… respecting each other.

"I'm fine, thank you Dr. House," Cuddy's assistant answered. "If you're here to see Dr. Cuddy however, I must warn you, she's with someone already."

House's head turned to Cuddy's office direction and all he could distinguish were shadows through the wooden blinds, but he clearly saw Cuddy was not alone. He sighed.

"How long will it take?" he surprised himself with asking.

"I don't know," Warren answered honestly. "It's not a scheduled appointment, but the man requested an interview and Dr. Cuddy said to let him in. They've been inside for…" He glanced at his watch. "the last half hour. I think it shouldn't take long. Or… it could also last another hour."

House rolled his eyes.

"Well, that helps!" he said sarcastically. "Ok, you know what? That's not important. I'll be back later."

"Do you want me to call you when Dr. Cuddy is alone?" Warren offered sympathetically.

"No. Well, yes. I don't know. Do as you please," House answered, theatrically limping away.

* * *

An hour later, impatient to finally see her, and after he'd received a page from Warren, House came back to the ground floor and walked across the entrance hall towards the clinic. When he passed the door, he instantly saw her, her back turned to him, leaned against the nurse station's counter. She probably felt the power of his ravenous gaze on her and she turned around meeting his eyes. He gave her a confident alpha male smile and approached her with a decided limp.

"Hi there, Dr. Cuddy! Done wheedling precious dollars out of the generous fortunes of our beloved city of Princeton yet?" he said in a bantering tone.

But instead of smiling back as he expected her to, she shot daggers at him before he'd made half his way towards her and she started striding back into her office.

"Get your ass in my office, NOW!" she shouted before disappearing behind the door.

House's eyebrows flew up but he passed in front of the nurse with a coy smile.

"Sorry, this is where decency commands us to go finish that in private," he winked at the nurse and she looked at him half amused, half appalled by the scene she'd just witnessed.

Once inside Cuddy's office, House closed the door behind him and sent her a mischievous look.

"You, naughty girl," he chuckled approaching her, "I didn't mean to turn you on so fast. But if you wanna turn your night treat into a morning delight, I'm your man."

Cuddy instantly stiffened and glared at him with fury.

"How can you be so irresponsible and immature?" she protested. "This is not about sex House! This is about this hospital and the rules that govern it. You CANNOT hit a patient's relative and then break into the patient's room to administrate a treatment her husband has very _explicitly_ declined."

"Oh, so this is what it's all about?" he said shrugging dismissively. "Don't worry, the husband's a moron. The patient is fine now. Everything's ok." He smiled and tried to come close to her again but she took a step back and walked behind her desk.

"No! Everything is NOT ok!" she snapped angrily "The moron, as you call him, just left my office a few minutes ago. He's filing a complaint against the hospital for assault and administration of medical treatment without consent."

"See?" House said matter-of-factly. "That kinda proves my point: the patient's husband really _is_ a moron. And he's not a doctor so he knows nothing about what's good for his wife and what's not-"

"But of course, _you_ do?"

"More than he does, sure! Listen Cuddy, you're overreacting here…"

"Excuse me? I'm what?" she asked, mouth agape, astonished by his nerve.

House began to realize this might not turn out to be the kind of foreplays he'd have hoped for. Actually not at all, now that he was clearly recognizing that little wrinkle on her forehead, the one she had when she was really pissed. But seriously? Was she going to yell at him for saving a patient's life? He'd done the right thing, dammit! And she knew he had. Plus, was she really going to let herself be impressed because a random, stupid guy had threatened to expose the hospital to liability? It was so not her to do that. He stiffened and griped his cane's handle tightly, facing her. He felt he was slowly getting unnerved by this unpleasant situation.

"I said you're overreacting a little here," he repeated, the tone of his voice becoming slightly harsher. "This is just a shot of Methylprednisolone we're talking about. Not a risky, life-threatening, unapproved treatment I was trying to experiment on the patient."

"You HIT the guy!" Cuddy yelled, not caving to his arguments.

"He deserved it!"

"You should have come to ME, and asked for my consent first!" she retorted.

"To hit him?" he tantalized with a mock grin, walking on the thin line, risking pushing the limits of her patience to the point of no return. She glowered but didn't even think it deserved an answer. "So what? You're saying I needed your consent for a shot of corticosteroids?" he carried on, frowning dubiously.

"In that particular circumstance, **yes**." she said through clenched teeth.

"But you were not here and the patient was dying so… I did what I thought was in her best interest."

"I don't care!"

"You don't care if patients die?" House said, dumbfounded, not believing they were having that conversation for real. It was absolutely ridicule and it made no sense.

"No! I don't care about your stupid excuses. I don't want to hear about them anymore. Your little coup risk to put the hospital into litigates, if I don't convince the family to settle for an agreement, which is the minimum they're entitled to claim after what you've done."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, I saved their mommy's life! Now they're gonna have homemade cranberry waffles for breakfast again! Thanks to ME! What the hell are they complaining about?"

Cuddy was fuming with rage and she looked at him as if she could slap him.

"You don't get anything do you? And you don't respect anyone… Not even me. God, House! You're so full of yourself, with all your theories about people and how absolutely helpless they all are before they meet you and learn about the true significance of life, because that's it, right? Only _you_, the brilliant and misanthropic Dr. House can be detached enough to understand the real priorities here? Even if it must lead to hitting one or two people in the process or just… just…"

House was feeling the heat of anger pervading him just as well and he started to really lose his temper.

"Let me sum up here, you're yelling at me because I didn't ask your consent about a very common procedure, that even a nurse can do several times a day without you even knowing about it? Are you serious?"

She stared intensely at him but didn't answer.

"Ok, so let's say I should have… but then, where were you?"

"What?"

"I said _where were you_? When the consent YOU allegedly had to give me was needed? Probably giggling comprehensively at some lubricous donors' bad jokes to extort them a big check, is that it? I'm sorry but , am practicing medicine. And medicine is not done in the cozy atmosphere of some administrative offices. It was either that or four kids and their dad out there, who threatens to take your precious money, wouldn't have a mom and a wife anymore. So maybe you don't get that concept anymore, but there're more important things than litigates and paperwork."

Cuddy puffed, visibly hurt, but she straightened up, refusing to let go. She was right! And damn him, she'd put her job on the line, _for him_! Because she trusted him. What a delusional, stupid move!

"I am your boss, House, like it or not. I have responsibilities. I make decisions and they may not sound exciting for you but they keep this hospital running-"

"Oh come on! This conversation is so six months ago!"

"What does that even mean?"

"It means…" He clenched his jaw and she saw his cheek muscles contracting in anger. "It means your little authority complex is getting old… and I'm sometimes wondering which part of this 'I'm your boss' thing is purely designed to get you off and make you feel worthy here, or which part you think does actually make sense, because let me tell you something: it doesn't! You're just playing the headmistress, brandishing the whip, threatening to punish the bad, bad student and you know what? I'm tired of that sick game of yours…"

She felt as if an arrow had pierced through her chest and she shriveled up imperceptibly.

"Fuck you, House!" she hissed. "Yeah you're right, this conversation is getting old. But it's not six months old, this conversation is ten years old, because I've been hearing that same crap over and over again since the moment I hired you-"

"And here we go again with the 'I saved your ass' spiel… God, you really sound like a broken record, you-"

"Get out," Cuddy said dryly.

"Excuse me?"

"I said get out! Go to hell, House. I'm done listening to you. I don't want to see your smug face anymore. You don't get to tell me if what I'm doing makes sense or not. You don't have the right to judge me! You don't even know what I do or why I do it…" A lump got caught in her throat and her voice derailed slightly. She swallowed and held her chin up. "Just GET OUT!"

Her hands were shaking and her heart was racing, but she stood in front of him, unwavering, sustaining his hostile glare with an impressive fierce. He studied her for long seconds that seemed endless, his lips set in anger, and then he whisked around and strode to the door.

"I have no intention of staying anyway," he barked, without turning to look at her. "I have better things to do than be here and waste my time talking about your administrative crap!"

She watched his back as he left. When he slammed the door of her office on his way out, it made the walls vibrate a little and it sent a cold shiver down her spine. She stood up a little longer quivering in shock and then she collapsed into her chair.

(...)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_Thank you, very sincerely, to all of you who leave me a comment, a review, a message. Thank YOU for your encouragements, your support and the enthusiasm with which you read this story._

_Thank you, also, to all of you who keep adding this story into their list of favorites, or me, as an author. This is extremely flattering._

_It may sound convenient to say that but the truth is I think about *YOU*, readers or reviewers when I write. I think about the way you'll react. I wonder if you'll like a plot I'm preparing, I wonder if you'll be shocked, pleased, excited, disappointed, neutral… I hope I'm not boring you, I wonder if I meet your expectations… _

_You trigger a lot of feelings in me and it undeniably fuels my muse., and that's why, hearing from you in return is my best reward! :)_

_Happy Holiday ~ maya_


	73. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

Hi everyone, or more specifically, people who read this story!

I don't usually do Author's notes. Actually I never have, but I need your help, or your piece of advice, or call it whatever you like. Anyway, I really need YOU...

And to explain what it is about, I'm gonna have to reveal a (small) part of what I've planned ahead for this story, so if you DON'T WANT to know, you should stop reading right now…

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For those of you who stayed… Here's the thing:

I am facing a big problem. Not that it's a catastrophe in itself, but in my book, it qualifies as something really bothering.

As you all know, Cuddy's been sick in this story. She had a lump in her breast and it caused her to reevaluate her relationship with House and leave for a while until he chased her down and got her back. Together they saw a doctor and everything looked fine…

The reality is actually different… The truth is, when the idea first occurred to me to start writing this story, I had a sort of epiphany and, strangely the storyline came to my mind in reverse since the first thing I wrote down was the last chapter, or most precisely _the last scene_… if you do the math, since I started posting this story in the old Fox forum in Feb 2009 it's been 2 years now… yes, I've have planned everything until the very end of this story, (and its sequel even) a very long time ago.

The problem is, in the beginning, I had more time to write and my updates were more regular, but then life, constraints, and other writing cravings held me hostage elsewhere and prevented me from focusing exclusively on this story. However, I still have some sort of outbursts and I generally let them "gush" out, writing them down whenever they occur, even though they're not connected directly with what I am writing at the moment.

That's why, in December 2009, I had written a long part of the synopsis which the storyline deals with NOW; which means I had written the current "Board meeting arc" with Cuddy and House having a big fight over the case of a patient; and every medical aspect was planned, the Board meeting was planned, its dialogue, Cuddy offering her virtual resignation to support House as a doctor and he, screwing it up by doing it 'House way'...

Why am I telling you this?

Well, actually, because this arc was not really supposed to be centered around _**that**_… I mean it was not the purpose of it… All of that was just a pretext, to carry my story further, and further was the moment when House and Cuddy would reconcile (d'oh, did you really doubt they wouldn't find a way to get past their anger?)

And…. Even more precisely, (here I'm talking about the chapter that's supposed to be coming NEXT) my goal was to build the tension and push House to realize what a moron he was then, feel like crap and Cuddy symmetrically realize the same thing and then she would go see him, and they would make up passionately and…

BAM! In the heat of action, House would realize that in fact, Cuddy who everyone thought was safe and out of danger was NOT, because the 'thing' in her breast was still there…

So, my intention with this arc was to serve the point of writing a sick Cuddy arc… I'm not gonna tell you how far I had planned to make this go, but trust me it was… a big part of the story…. Hell, the WHOLE point of this story anyway is about Cuddy being sick. Cuddy's lump IS my initial synopsis. Without her being sick, Chapters 39-40 would not exist, nor would chapter 53… there would have been no Boston getaway, no House living in misery at his place, popping Vicodin like candies, no supportive Wilson, no nothing! :-P

And most of all, there would have been none of what _is about to come_, which I won't reveal, but was planned to explore sick Cuddy further… I had all of that written down, in raw outlines, but it was there.

So now what?

Well, nothing major…. Just that, I realize my timing is the worst ever… and I hate myself, for being so irregular in my updates, so slow in my writing, so unavailable to make this happen… The truth is, this story should have been over months ago. And then, I would have dealt with what I had in mind, peacefully and it would have been simple - certainly not unforgettable - but at least, I'd have had it _my way_… I don't know how many of you – who didn't see next week's 7x15 episode 'Bombshells' promo or heard about it – are still unaware of that but, as a matter of fact,…

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(**SPOILER alert**)

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...Cuddy is going to be sick. I know nothing about the rest, I mean: what ailment it is exactly, how it's gonna impact House and Cuddy and it doesn't matter actually, but the simple fact that I now know that Cuddy's going to be sick killed my mojo. That's why, even though I have it all there, I don't write, and I don't update...

And that, is the reason of this author's note.

I know. I am being very stupid and probably very irrational too because what I'm saying doesn't even make sense, but the thing is, I can't… I just can't keep going where I'd planned on going when I have the feeling that it's gonna be, even remotely, similar to what the show is exploring at the same time…

Don't get me wrong, I am SO not having the nerve to pretend that what I have in mind is going to compete with the show's amazing storylines. It is NOT! That's really not about that. It's just, and people who know me know that I'm like that: I can't deal with the feeling of going in the same direction as in the show _a posteriori_, even more so when it's only a question of timing. Finding out _afterward_ that the show used a similar idea than one you used, even from afar, or just for little details... is a real great sensation, but not the other way around... The other way around SUCKS.

The art of fanfiction is tricky. You borrow a pattern, you borrow characters, their personalities, a way of talking, a language… So in the end, there's not a lot you can claim as 'yours.' Of course, writing House, and Cuddy and Wilson and the team and medical cases (or my humble attempts at doing it anyway) is great fun. I LOVE that. Really I do. But what I love, what I also allow myself to be proud of - or want to at least, as much as I can - is that, while I'm borrowing a whole structure, with a solid basis already thought out, I need the direction in which the storyline goes to be _mine_… I need to have the feeling that what happens to the characters I didn't create in the first place is still at least _my_ choice. This is fanFICTION, and I want it to remain _my_ fiction.

I'm probably an idiot; well that's what people I'm saying this to tell me anyway, but what can I do? My idiocy makes me deal very, very badly with the idea that, while reading me, people could think: Ok, nice, but what about it now? She just copied the entire concept, even to the point of following the same storylines as in the show...

I try to fight it, because I know it's me being an idiot. I said fanfiction is tricky and it is, because the line between an author creation and writing inceptions coming from the original sources is very thin… and I know I'm not supposed to write something that is entirely mine. I have my personal fictions for that… so I can reason, and persuade myself it's no big deal… but I'm not always succeeding, obviously…

Which is why I NEED YOU… to tell me what to do…

But please, believe me when I say I am NOT doing this to receive compliments! Seriously DON'T do that! I just really ONLY need your honest opinion:

My story, from now on, was supposed to deal with a sick Cuddy. With _consequences_. But you, me, us, we are now going to have that. Next week. In the show. Maybe it'll last more than one episode, I really don't know. So, I'm asking myself: why would anyone want to read about the same concept again?

Where's the point in that?

And my concern is not about risking to tell the same story twice because I'm sure the show will do so much better than I will and to be honest, if I were starting to go there, I would just quit writing plain and simple! I'm not a masochist! So it's really more about realizing I've chosen a similar context, a long time ago, even if the outcome is different...

So… here's the deal I'm putting on the table:

**do you think I should continue writing this story****? Or would you prefer me to tell you what I had planned until the end of the story – like a sort of general summary of my overall synopsis - and then we would all move on and this story would be over?**

Please, I really need you to tell me. I'm stuck. And I don't know what to do. All my chapters, until the end are there, _planned_, partially written even for some of them, but I don't know what to do with them…

I'm waiting for your opinions, your sincere opinions. then I will go with the majority. So please, tell me…

And whatever you decide, I also want to use this opportunity to say THANK YOU to all of you who have been reading this story from the very beginning, or those of you who joined in the process and caught up and even sometimes in a few days, eagerly reading. People who left me comments at the Fox Forum, in my Live Journal, sent me Private Messages because they were too shy to comment openly here, or Emails, DMs, Tweets, and all the reviews here… the wonderful reviews... you have NO IDEA how happy you have made me with your support, your comments, your enthusiasm, your friendly nagging (yeah you…), your kindness, and the wisdom of your advice….

So please, voice your wishes once more and I'll follow your lead.

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE ~ maya


	74. Chapter 73

_Hi everyone!_

_I'm not even sure you remember me, or this story… well no, that's not entirely true, because actually, I hope you do! I really do! that's part of the reason why I don't give up…_

_Yet, I know: it's been such a loooong time, and I'm so sorry to make you wait. I feel awful. But like I keep saying, eventually, it's only a matter of time before I finally find enough the courage to kick myself in the butt and sit down to get it DONE!_

_It's enraging in a way, because it's all there, in my head and I really wish there could be a machine, I don't know, some device that could just simply suck it out of my mind if I pressed a button. Wouldn't it be amazing? Writing that would flow like a fountain!_

_Anyway, unfortunately such things don't exist and then, months passed by and my life sucks me into other crazy spirales… but If You Let Me is always there, taunting me, somewhere hidden in the midst of my computer files, and I never really forget about it…_

_I'm often asking myself though: is it really worth it now? do people still care? Why would I keep going? but then I think about all those long hours I spent elaborating this story, thinking about it, researching, writing… and I think of all the wonderful support you've given me, the nice reviews you wrote and I dare tell myself, maybe there's still someone out there who cares._

_So, as sporadic and disjointed as my updates may look like, I SWEAR to you this story will be finished. And this time, I won't wait that long to post the next chapter…_

_Just blow a little more strength into me so I can carry on, and if you have 2 minutes… please, let me know you're still here! :)_

_Thanks for reading. I hope you'll like this chapter. Like I've said in my previous author's note, the rollercoaster is not over… so buckle up!_

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**** Chapter 73 ****

"_So? Was it just a small pee, or did you end up having a poo? I mean, I got your message… obviously! Ok, not at all the kind of things I wanted to say!… Actually, well, actually, I… uh… don't really have anything to say. But, you and I, we have this sort of tradition going on between us about calling each other to say nothing! And you know how much I hate changes, right? I mean, sometimes I say things that make no sense; But I like your messages about nothing… And, the messenger even more…"_

Cuddy hung up her cell phone and put it down on her desk in front of her. She took a deep, deliberately slow breath to try fighting the overwhelming stream of tears she felt gathering in her eyes but she failed miserably and the first salty pearl soon rolled down her cheek. She had totally missed his message. She, actually, hadn't even noticed he'd called. There was probably a twisted ironic reason why it was precisely _now_ she'd felt the need to check her voicemail and ended up listening to him telling her that...

_Sometimes I say things that make no sense._

God, yes! And she, even more… But how could she know? She'd asked to be updated on Jenny Reed's status right after her husband had come to her office complaining about the inadmissible and insane bedside manner of the "worst doctor he'd ever had to deal with in his entire life" but since House had practically showed up immediately after, she'd still hadn't received the news when she'd vented her anger and utter frustration upon him, for putting her, yet again, in such an uncomfortable, delicate position.

Damn him! Was he at least aware of every crap she had to put up with because of him? Did he actually care about it anyway? Yes, she was fuming with anger. She'd put her job on the line! Because, silly fool that she was, she'd thought she could trust him. And then what? He'd stomped over that, carelessly, because he didn't give a damn! Standing behind her desk, she'd watched him leave, after stomaching another round of his spiteful, cynical remarks. The sound of the door being forcefully slammed had made her jump, and she'd fallen down on her chair, stunned. And now she was still seated there, minutes after, mouth agape, emptied of all the energy she had left. That battle, that fiery passionate battle between them, where would it leave her? What was she going to do now, when the Board would find out about that? Her hands were still trembling when her phone rang, bringing her back to present.

"Dr. Cuddy. What is it?" she practically barked into the receiver, unaware of the unnecessarily harsh tone she was using.

"Dr. Cuddy…" the voice cautiously answered. "You've asked to be updated on a patient's status…"

Cuddy held her breath.

"Jenny Reed," the voice of the nurse carried on, "admitted three days ago for…"

"Yes, yes! How is she?"

"She's…" the nurse hesitated a little before offering: "better."

"Better? How's that?"

"Yesterday morning she was unconscious, with a swollen brain but now, she's awake. She talks, and there's no fluid coming out of her shunt anymore. It could actually be taken out but, since Dr. House is no longer her attendant, because uh… well I… "

"Yes, I know. Run that by Dr. Chase, he's the surgeon who put the shunt, right? Let _him_ sign the papers and authorize the procedure."

"Alright, I will Dr. Cuddy."

"Thank you. And uh…" Cuddy sighed, tiredness and confusion taking over her. "Is her husband there, with the patient, I mean?"

"He was in her room earlier, but he left. Said he had to go pick his kids."

"Ok. Thank you, Helen."

Cuddy hung up the phone and then rubbed her forehead to process the news: a dying patient, who wasn't dying anymore. Because of _him_, _thanks_ to him. She felt awkward; and the oh so familiar feeling of guilt that usually came just after started spreading through her and fill her mind with a multitude of uncomfortable images: of him, showing up in the clinic and limping to her with that smile. Then his dismissal of the patient's problem and the mention of her husband being an accessory inconvenience. And her intransigence, the way she'd yelled at him, refusing to hear him out, but pushing both of them to flirt with the edge of _that_ line she now regretted to have crossed.

Feeling the tears irrepressibly gathering in her eyes, she stood up and walked round her desk. She fell on her couch, finding a more comfortable place to hunch and cry, hidden in the 'safe' corner of her office where nobody would see her through the wooden blinds. Minutes passed, during which her thoughts, confusing and self-conscious, locked her in a silent daze. A knock on the door startled her and she promptly wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands and pulled herself together before mumbling a reluctant "come in" through clenched teeth. The door cracked open and Wilson appeared at the doorsill. Feeling relieved upon seeing a familiar silhouette, Cuddy allowed herself to relax a bit but remained guarded nonetheless, not wanting to expose her emotions too much, even to her friend.

"What do you want?" she asked him with a raspy voice.

She was seated, stiff as a stick, her chin up and challenging. It was impossible to hide the salty lines the tears had left on her cheeks though, or the red-rimmed eyes under her puffy lids. Wilson immediately caught every clue as proof of her distress and looked at her with a sorry gaze.

"What happened?" he answered with that tone he had each time he knew House was responsible for hurting her.

Cuddy sighed heavily and her shoulders fell down a few inches. She lowered her head and stared at her high heels shoes in silence for a few seconds.

"What has he done?" Wilson insisted, sounding slightly upset.

"He punched his patient's husband, actually knocked him out to give her a treatment the guy had explicitly refused to give his consent for."

"Oh for God's sake!" Wilson exclaimed, falling into the nearest armchair and hiding his head inside his hands is utter dismay. "When is he ever gonna learn?" he asked, looking up again.

Cuddy bit her lips and gave him a shy, resigned smile.

"Never?" she offered.

A short silence filled the room.

"I'm a moron," Cuddy added uneasy.

"Huh?"

"He saved her. The patient, he saved her. She's feeling better now."

"Well, at least there's _one thing_ he didn't screw up…" Wilson commented bitterly.

"The Board was right."

Wilson's mouth dropped open and he stared at Cuddy, completely dumbfounded, not sure he'd even understood what the hell she was talking about. Cuddy took a deep breath and averted her eyes, feeling the weight of Wilson's judging gaze on her.

"It's my fault," she added, gulping. "I'm caught in some stupid administrative constraints. And I just yelled at House for doing what he did because, as usual, he didn't do it in the conventional way…"

"Ha, that's putting it mildly to say that punching a patient's relative is unconventional…" Wilson interrupted, grumbling disapprovingly.

"But I knew… _I knew_ deep inside he was right. I only felt compelled to disagree and yell because I don't want House to think he has a special treatment, just because we sleep together…"

"Cuddy-"

"This isn't fair; neither to me, nor to him. I can't keep living like that, Wilson. The Board was right, I can't compartmentalize my professional and private life, and it's starting to get between House and me. I don't want that. No." She shook her head and took a deep breath before looking at the oncologist with wide-opened eyes. "I need to quit," she finally stated with a definite tone.

Wilson puffed and instinctively reached out to touch her arm as if, confronted to the absolute inanity of her decision, he felt the urge of shaking her back to her senses.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he exclaimed. "what are you talking about? Someone obviously didn't get enough sleep lately-"

"I know what I'm doing," she tried to protest.

"I'm sorry but I don't think you are. Seriously, are you listening to yourself? Quit your job? That's it? That's the one clever thing you've come up with?"

Wilson glared at her reproachfully and it took her off guard. She wasn't expecting such a strong reaction from her friend.

"Just think about what it implies for one minute," he carried on. "You can't dump the hospital like that. You like your job too much. And House needs you-"

"But I can't be with House and be the Dean at the same time. It'll kill us…"

"Cuddy, please, this is not true and you know it. I'm not saying I approve of House's behavior because he sure is the king of jerks on this planet but he knows better than just do stupid things and never learn any lessons from it. And when it comes to teaching House a lesson, you know you're the only one he's willing to listen to…"

"Tss, House only listens to himself, that's all," Cuddy objected, sulkily. "I'm just an annoying screeching harpy to him…"

"Come on, don't say that. You know you're much more to him than just that."

"Maybe but, what can I do now? The Board meeting is in three days and I'll have to deal with this situation then. Mr. Reed came to see me this morning, you know. He wants to file a complaint for assault."

"Jesus…" Wilson sighed empathically.

"Well, of course he does! House punched him, so naturally he has every right to. But once the Board learns about this, I'm screwed Wilson. Campbell will revel in blaming House for his own benefit. How am I supposed to convince the Board members that I'm perfectly capable of dealing with House in the hospital's best interest now?"

"You said he cured the patient-"

"You think they care about that?" she puffed. "All they care about is money. They don't give a damn about Mrs. Reed. What they do give a damn about, however, is how much House's little stunt is gonna cost them!"

"But… no one knows how to handle him better than you do. You know how to make a point with him. You know how to make him reconsider the things he does with the boundaries you set. If it weren't for you stopping his craziness sometimes, House would do a million more dangerous things than the ones he already does. I'm sure the Board is perfectly aware of that."

"If only it were that simple…" She sighed and then hid her face inside her hands for a moment. When she tilted her head up again, she looked weary and disillusioned. Wilson leaned forward and gently squeezed her arm, as a sign of support.

"I'm sure it's going to be ok," he said unconvincingly.

She smiled to him hesitantly, and bit her lips. Silence filled the room for a while.

"I feel like I'm schizophrenic sometimes, but it's not like that all the time, you know," Cuddy said, as if she needed to justify herself. "When we're together in private, it's so different-"

"I know," Wilson whispered, slightly embarrassed.

"I mean, it looks like we're arguing all the time and I spend all my time yelling at him, but I swear…"

"Cuddy, you don't have to explain. I'm sure you and House have good moments together, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting here tormenting yourself about him…"

"It's not just good moments… it's _great_ ones."

"I know," Wilson repeated, comprehensively.

He felt suddenly useless and uneasy, so he promptly stood up.

"I don't want to disturb you any longer. You surely have a lot to deal with now."

"Yeah." Cuddy stood up as well and walked him to the door.

"Please, promise me not to make any rushed decision you'll regret later."

"I promise," she said, trying to smile fondly, but she held his gaze with unusual gravity.

* * *

Wilson left and the moment he stepped out of her office a terrible anger pervaded him. He started to look for House, first in his office, but couldn't find him there, or anywhere else. After almost half an hour of fruitless attempts at locating House in every corner of the hospital where he expected him to be, Wilson was about to give up when he thought of the one last spot he hadn't checked yet. Soon after, he pushed the access door to the roof and finally saw the familiar silhouette, sitting on the concrete edge, a cigarette in one hand, the head resolutely turned toward the horizon, staring blankly ahead.

Whatever it was, Wilson immediately knew House was meditating about something that most likely seriously obsessed him. Each time he was retreating to the roof, it was a sign he needed to think about important matters. Wilson took the first step and House, noticing a presence turned his head in his direction. A smirk on his face, he watched him approach without a word.

"There's a reason why it says 'authorized personnel only' on that door!" House finally said tossing his cigarette away when Wilson came near him.

He pushed himself off the edge and stood up, while Wilson stared at him still silent.

"What?" House asked, getting slightly annoyed. "I cured my patient. Do I not deserve some quality time alone to celebrate?"

The two men were now facing each other. House, leaning on his cane, scrutinized his friend, visibly intrigued.

"You usually have a reason to chase me up here… But given the look on your face, I take it you didn't come to celebrate with me, so go on: say it! What is it? Erin dumped you and you need comfort? Or, one of your cancer patients died and you feel guilty you couldn't give him another two months…"

"You're an ass," Wilson hissed angrily.

For a second, House's eyebrows imperceptibly arched in surprise. Not that he minded the little calling each other names but he decided it was definitely not the time for whatever Wilson had decided to patronize him about. He started to walk away firmly resolute to leave before he would get caught in another annoying conversation. He hadn't taken the first step when Wilson stopped him, grabbing his arm.

"How could you do that to her?" The oncologist carried on, glaring at him.

"Save my patient's life? You're right: it was such a badass move!" House scoffed.

"I don't mean her, I mean Cuddy…"

"Damn, but of course… Why didn't I think about that sooner? What now, she ran to you to whine about how such a bad, unmanageable employee I've been again so you promised you'd teach me a lesson-"

"She didn't run to me! And she didn't whine. Jesus, House! What the hell is wrong with you? Do you realize what you did? You hit a guy in the face and now he's going to sue the hospital-"

"And so what? Like it'd be the first time! Yes, it means crappier administrative forms to fill and more comprehensive, sorry smiles to earn forgiveness for her; but it's her job! Mine is to cure patients. And sometimes, it involves getting rid of the moron who prevents me from doing it a little bit roughly! But here's some shocking news for you: losing one's life is usually more definite than having a black eye or a broken nose. I'm not punching people for fun, Wilson. It's called prioritize and until dying becomes fixable, that's how I'll function. You can go back downstairs and explain that to her bureaucratic, fucked-up logic."

"You're so self-centered. God, it's incredible! This isn't always about you or what _you _think is right. You're not almighty, House. You screwed up and you have to take responsibility for it. You don't even know what you've put her into…" Wilson puffed.

House briefly let out an ironic laugh.

"Oh, but don't worry Musketeer, she loves to clean my shit anyway," he said with a smug grin. "It gives her the occasional good reason to yell at me with her bossy voice. That's how she gets off, you know. It's a sort of turn-on-"

Wilson glowered at him with a sickened look on his face.

"Great!" he said curtly. "And how do you rank putting her job on the line on your sexual healing scale then?"

House's smirk faded and the look on his face changed from conceited to confused in a blink of an eye.

"Yes, that's right! The Board is after her, House. They keep questioning her about the way she's going to handle you now that everyone knows you two are in a relationship. They implied she can't be objective as your boss. And Cuddy? Well Cuddy, with her bureaucratic, fucked-up logic as you said, she defended you! Yeah, how ironic is that, uh? She thought she could trust you not to ruin everything."

House's eyes were getting wider by the second and he gulped, visibly taken aback and shocked.

"I was there. When you decided your highly questionable ethic was worth breaking some guy's nose, I was sitting next to her, watching her stomaching the barbs and the innuendos with courage. She said she was positively sure there would be no problem. So sure, she offered to resign if anything happened that would prove her wrong. And now, look what you've done! This is not about YOU, House! Can you just once, understand that everything is NOT about you?"

House stood there, his hand imperceptibly wobbling and tightening on his cane's handle. He took a sharp breath, looked away to hide his embarrassment and avoid Wilson's unsustainable stare and then, promptly walking past his friend, he left the roof without a comment.

When he heard the loud bang of the metallic door being slammed, Wilson sighed heavily and looked upward to the sky, shaking his head resignedly.

* * *

In the emptiness of his apartment, House was sitting at his piano, an old blues song playing on his stereo and filling the silence of the room. The afternoon had gone by and with it, the last remnants of his smug self-confidence. Wilson's impromptu visit to him on the roof and the unexpected nature of the news he'd come to deliver had completely taken him off guard. He'd tried to hide it, behind another one of his legendary cynical outbursts but he'd been shaken, undeniably. Cuddy's career jeopardized because of him was not something unusual though. It was not as if he'd never messed up with the rules, with her, or played with boundaries, pushing them aside to exercise medicine in the unconventional way he carelessly decided was the right one. But this time the stakes felt completely different. He knew there were lines he couldn't allow himself to cross, lines he was still crossing anyway, without giving it a second thought but, it was not what bothered him, really. What bothered him was that those lines had shifted, imperceptibly, and they were now standing closer than they used to, tantalizing him, daring him. How far could he go? How unimportant was it going to feel to bend the rules now? How unconcerned could he still pretend to be?

Things had changed, drastically; in spite of everything he was forcefully trying to deny, he couldn't pretend it was ok to be that same old jerk he'd always been without consequences anymore. Consequences for him… and consequences for _her_. That last part, specifically, was terrifying him the most. Suddenly, it was as if he were dreadfully aware of the part he could play in her life, how intricate their destinies both were: you screw, I fall. And vice versa… It was dizzying. And now, he was alone, feeling like an idiot, whose screwed-upness had once again done possibly irreparable damages. What else was new anyway? He was selfish, useless and wrong. And maybe it was too late, too late to make it right…

The evening was lazily spreading outside his window, dark and chilly in those early days of fall, and apart from his desk lamp, House's living room was only lit by the dim light of a street lamp coming from the sidewalk. Two, or maybe three bourbon? He couldn't remember how many he'd drunk already. He was staring at his piano's keys, all an indistinct grey, and waiting. Waiting for what exactly, he wasn't sure, but he was hoping there would be something, a sign, any sign, to wash away the doubt of this uncertain hour and give him an indication of what would most probably come next. He hated uncertainty. He hated when he lost control over his feeling of almightiness and that was exactly what was happening now. The last notes of Billie Holiday's Stormy Weather faded away and quietness invaded the space again. He sighed and stood up to fill his empty glass with another dose of numbing alcohol. The gold liquid burnt his throat and he winced at the sensation. The knock on the door almost didn't surprise him: time to have his answer had finally come.

"Door's open!" he invited wearily, putting his glass down.

He watched her as she entered his apartment and closed the door behind her. She stood at the threshold, searching for his silhouette in the semi-darkness and when she located him she slowly took her coat off and dropped it on the nearest chair. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, she was sitting next to him on the piano bench, silent.

"Done with your day?" he asked, self-consciously, looking straight ahead to avoid facing her.

She didn't answer at first and a loud ticking sound started buzzing inside his ears, like the final countdown of a bomb; it took him several seconds to realize it was the sound of his heart beats. He finally found the courage to turn his head towards her. She was looking down, her hands rested on her lap. The hoarse, bluesy voice of Billie Holiday was still singing, along with the chords of an old piano that echoed into space and it filled the room with a melancholic vibe for a while.

"Mr. Reed came to my office again this afternoon," Cuddy finally said softly, and she turned her head to the side, meeting his gaze.

House stiffened and a shiver ran down his spine. She smiled crookedly and raised her chin towards his face.

"He's dropping the charges. He decided not to sue anymore…"

The lump in House's throat instantly dissolved upon hearing the news, as air found its way in his lungs again and he breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Really?" he asked, trying to sound as casual as he could. "Maybe he's not that much of a moron then."

"You talked to him, didn't you?"

"Tss, me? Why would I do that?"

"House…" She searched for his hand, alongside his thigh. When her fingers meet his, she squeezed them, ever so slightly. "He said you were in his wife's room early this afternoon."

"Forget what I just said: he _is_ a moron."

"I don't know what you told him-"

"Nothing! I just checked the patient's vital, wrote her a prescription, the usual doctor stuff."

"House…"

Her voice was the softest plead for confession. He sighed, defeated.

"Thank you," she whispered tentatively.

"Cuddy, don't…"

"You know, he thanked the hospital and… he particularly insisted on thanking _you_, for saving his wife's life."

For the first time since she'd stepped into his apartment, House allowed himself to smile.

"You made him write that down on paper, didn't you?"

"In three copies. One for you, one for me and …"

"One for those stupid bastards from the Board?"

She looked down embarrassingly for a second.

"They're not stupid. Their concern was legitimate."

"Fuck them with their legitimacy! You're doing what you have to do, and you're doing it well. You shouldn't be accountable to anyone for anything other than that. Which means, you certainly don't have to put your job on the line because of me…"

She shot him a slightly panicked look, wondering how much of the "deal" she had with the Board he really was aware of. As if he'd read her mind, he rolled his eyes theatrically.

"Yeah… How much longer do you think you could have hidden that from me? Jesus, Cuddy! You should have _told me_! From the moment you first mentioned that Board meeting, I knew something was bothering you. Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let me help you?"

"I tried…"

"You _tried_? Wh… How?" His eyes widened in bafflement.

Somehow she knew he was right and suddenly it hit her: he was the one responsible for screwing things up but she'd been just as much irresponsible, for being dishonest with him. She'd left him in the dark but, if she'd told him what the Board, and Campbell, was reproaching her, things would have been different. She was sure of it. It was crystal clear he'd never have jeopardized her position intentionally, but by keeping her reckless, gambling move to herself, she'd almost screwed things up even more, why all she really needed was for him to be there, supportive, to help her prove them wrong. She should have trusted him and now she was feeling stupid and awful for keeping that to herself. House was a _good_ doctor. She believed in him and always had, long before there had even been anything serious between them. Sometimes, like in that particular moment, she wished everyone could see him like she was.

"House, forget it. It's ok…" she said, a bit regretfully. "Problem's solved. Patient's happy… I'm not resigning or anything!"

Something in her voice betrayed her discomfort and House deciphered it as proof of her guilt. He realized the last thing they needed in that moment was to keep dwelling on it much longer. They both were stupid, stubborn, proud idiots and if it hadn't been a proof of how truly passionate they both were, it would probably have been risible.

"You're exhausting," he deadpanned.

"I'm doing my job!"

"Duh! You threatened to quit based on the crazy assumption that I would be the nice and gentle doctor you know I never am! And you didn't even bother warning me about it beforehand! Frankly? You suck at doing your job," he provoked, but he couldn't hide the little glitter of pride in his eyes.

From the opposite corner of the living room, the stereo continued to play Billie Holiday and the melody of 'My Man' began to resonate into space. After the first notes, House laid his long fingers on the piano keys and he started to play, following the rocking rhythm of the ballad.

_It cost me a lot / But there's one thing that I've got / It's my man, it's my man..._

Mesmerized, Cuddy couldn't take her eyes off of his hands, dancing on the keyboard and creating the perfect musical echo to the song. House turned his head to the side and spied on her beautiful profile for a second, slightly leaned down. Out of the blue, the next lyrics came to his lips and he started to sing along with the blues lady, with a low voice, almost a murmur.

_Cold or wet, / Tired you bet / All of this I'll soon forget / With my man..._

Cuddy's face instantly shot up and she locked eyes with him.

_He's not much on looks / He's no hero out of books / But I love him..._

House slid his hands off of the piano and stopped playing.

_Yes, I love him_, the raspy voice of Billie holiday repeated.

Cuddy closed her eyes for a second and took a deep breath.

"About this morning," she started hesitantly.

"Shut up!" he commanded.

"You drive me crazy, you know that?"

She'd almost confessed that with resignation. House remained silent and Cuddy spotted the glass of bourbon on the piano. She grabbed it, slowly drank a few sips, then put it back on the black glossy surface and stood up. Positioning herself in front of him, she carefully straddled his lap, heedful of his bad thigh. He welcomed her in his arms and she smiled at him fondly.

"Why?"

"Why what?" he asked, intrigued.

She cupped his scruffy cheeks inside her hand and leaned down to his face. "Why does it have to be you?" she blew hoarsely just an inch far from his lips.

The raw simplicity of her question but moreover, the sweet surrender to its inescapability took his breath away.

"I don't know," he whispered with a wobbling voice.

She sighed voluptuously and sat up again. Her eyes riveted to his, she slowly buttoned down her shirt, and he watched her, enthralled, as she seductively uncovered the perfect silkiness of her ivory skin in front of him.

"I missed you," she confessed.

Her shirt fell down on the floor and he nosedived between her breasts, inhaling deeply and filling his nostrils with the delicate smell of her warmth. She threw her head back and she let him. Slowly, she let him. Nibble gently at first, almost shyly, then bite and kiss and rub possessively. An incredible fervor rose inside of him and wiped the last remnants of his restraint away. In a matter of seconds, he unhooked her bra and he kissed her again, greedily, while his arms encircled her waist and squeezed her tight, so tight she thought he'd squash her ribcage.

She moaned and grabbed a handful of his hair at the base of his neck and it felt as if he'd waited for that moment for too long. His impatience turned into an irresistible need. He wanted to smother her with kisses, everywhere at the same time. There was not an inch of her skin he hadn't missed, not a spot of her body he hadn't long to taste during those hours, those tiring hours that had kept him away from her. But now she was offering herself and he took her, unreservedly.

Her rosy, erect nipples were just there, under his nose, taunting him and he sucked one inside his mouth and nipped teasingly. She arched her back toward him and he caressed her back with his long hands, enveloping her shoulder blades and pressing her against him, closer. They would have to move out of here soon because the feverish passion that was taking hold of them both was dangerously becoming too demanding to be contained into the tiny, wobbly space of his piano bench much longer. His mouth left her left breast but his lips, rebelling against reason, shifted to the right and claimed her other nipple ravenously. Just one more kiss and he would take her to his bed where he'd make love to her until they'd both collapse. He sucked her areola between his lips and grazed it with his teeth. An odd sensation of warmth spread inside his mouth. He grunted and she answered with another moan.

Without a warning, House suddenly straightened up and unceremoniously spitted into his open palm. She stared at him, puzzled and looked down at his hand.

"What?" she asked, already feeling the thudding sound of her heartbeats speeding up in her chest.

He wiped his hand clean on his jeans and pressed on the breast he had inside his mouth an instant before. A yellowish bead of liquid slowly came out of the tip of her nipple.

"House! What is it?"

"Curdled milk," he said.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, whatever shit you had inside your breast, it's not gone," he answered, looking her right in the eyes with gravity.

(...)

* * *

**A/N**

_Thank you, ALL OF YOU, reviewers, silent readers, twitterers, friends and LJ companions for encouraging me to write this story, for telling me you appreciate it, for waiting so patiently, and for still being there, with me, after all this time. _

_Have a great summer! ~ maya_


	75. Chapter 74

_Hi everybody!_

_As incredible as it seems, I'm back with a new chapter and no, this is not 2012…. LOL_

_So after leaving you with a cliffhanger last week, you'll now find out how House and Cuddy react to the news. 100% Huddy chapter ahead! I hope you'll like what happens and how... _

_If you have a moment, leave me a few words - my sweetest reward - to tell me what you think…_

* * *

**** Chapter 74 ****

_["What do you mean?"_

_"I mean, whatever shit you had inside your breast, it's not gone," he answered, looking her right in the eyes with gravity..._]

"I don't understand. It's impossible… Bill said…"

"Yeah Bill, the super hero…" House spat sarcastically.

"House… Don't make this about Bill!"

"I'm not making this about Bill, I'm making this about YOU!"

"What? Are you blaming me for getting sick?" she asked reproachfully.

"No. I'm blaming you for not doing what's right _to get cured_."

"Please, don't do this," she pleaded.

"I'm sorry, but no! I'm not shutting up this time-"

"It's just a cyst… " she murmured, almost to herself, looking distraught. "You saw it just like me… it's…"

She was still seated on his lap, her breasts exposed to his sight, just in front of his face. He shifted nervously on the piano bench and she toppled backward a bit, promptly reaching out behind her not to lose her balance. Her palm fell flat on the keyboard, hitting keys randomly and making a discordant, loud noise that was nothing like the soothing sound of Billie Holiday's songs that had been filling the atmosphere until then.

Irked in spite of him, most of all utterly frustrated for not being able to control the turn of events, let alone anticipate them once again, House's irascibility took hold of him and he sighed heavily. He grabbed Cuddy by the elbows and pulled her off of his lap. She stood up, and remained standing still in front of him, bare-chest, looking totally helpless and it unnerved him even more. He bent over to the floor to grab her shirt and handed it to her.

"Put that on," he said angrily.

She complied mechanically and hastily half-buttoned it to cover part of her nudity.

"I've done everything you asked. I didn't interfere. I let you handle that your way… But you screwed up," House went on, almost shouting.

The tone of his voice jolted Cuddy back to reality and she shot her head in his direction.

"I… What?" she asked, stunned.

"Yes, you did! Fuck, Cuddy! I'd told you to get your blood tested!"

"But I did!" she retorted, raising her voice as well.

"And half your markers were showing irregular results!" House yelled. "But NO! Instead of digging deeper, you just thought: 'hey, why don't I let Bill, the wonderful endocrinologist, do one or two more scans? And if the mass miraculously disappears then I'd conveniently decide it's fine!' Well done! Now see how totally fine it is indeed."

"But the lump was _gone_," she said, with a little voice, mostly to reassure herself.

"And now? what about _now_? It was there. Then it wasn't anymore. How can you be sure it hasn't come back?"

"This is unfair…" Tears irrepressibly welled up in Cuddy's eyes, the weight of stress too heavy to control the rush of emotions that was starting to shake her whole body.

Seeing her fragile and jittery like that didn't calm House down at all. On the contrary, it made him feel irrationally furious even more. He knew it wasn't her fault, but he couldn't help it. All he'd ever wanted was to protect her; from the beginning, he'd wanted nothing other than that. But she didn't let him and now, now he was feeling as helpless as she was. What if they had lost two precious weeks during which he could have done the right thing? What if it was too late? They were back to square one, with no answers, and the emotional pressure it was putting on him was just unbearable. And usually, when he was overwhelmed by a flow of emotions he had no power over House's response was to act like an angry jerk which, even though he was well aware how inappropriate it was, was the only one he knew how to deal with.

He promptly stood up and snatched the still half full glass of bourbon on the piano, spilling some alcohol down in the process with the abruptness of his gesture. He downed what was left of it in one go and slammed the glass down again where it first was. Cuddy hunched a little but remained silent, watching him boiling with contained rage. He took a few steps away from her, towards his desk and out of a complete blue, violently hit the wall with his clenched fist. Not many people knew House well enough to decipher that reaction as a sign of his complete disarray but Cuddy was not one of them. She knew exactly how helpless he was feeling in that moment and why, even though he was trying to hide it. His anger was nothing other than his own special way of releasing his fear, to be able to gain control over the situation again. She approached him slowly and touched the side of his arm. The contact made him jump and he turned around, facing her. His gaze changed instantly and he stared at her with sad eyes, as if he was saying sorry for behaving like he did. She sighed and bit her bottom lip, not really knowing what to say, except through the intensity of her eyes that were mostly conveying sorrow. House took another step back and fished his cell phone out of his jeans. Before Cuddy had time to react, he had already dialed a number and was pressing the phone against his ear.

"Who are you calling?" she asked, taken aback.

He raised his hand up to stop her from making another comment and then frowned, visibly upset.

"Wilson!" he exclaimed. "I hope shagging Erin is worth not picking up your phone right now coz I-"

He couldn't finish his sentence because Cuddy grabbed his hand and forced him to remove the phone from his mouth.

"House," she protested, glaring. "Don't you involve Wilson in this! Not now!"

House hesitated for a second but finally hung up.

"What the hell are you doing?" she went on, bemused. "Don't you think you and I should talk about that first before you share your anger and frustration with someone else?"

"I was not calling Wilson for a pep talk!" House retorted. "You need to do further exams. You need to-"

"Need what? House, it's past nine already. Wilson is not at your back and call 24/7! Just leave him alone! Besides, I think I have my say in this a little bit more than he does."

House narrowed his eyes at her, weighing his options for a while. Then, most unexpectedly, he opened the closet and grabbed his leather jacket.

"Fine!" he said with a definite tone. "You don't want Wilson to handle this either, so you're stuck with me. _I_ am going to take care of this, like it or not, and we're going to do it _my way_ now. So get your coat. We're doing another MRI."

He decidedly strode towards the door, ready to leave. When he realized she wasn't following him, he turned around and looked at her impatiently.

"I said get your coat!" he groaned.

"No." she replied, still standing stubbornly immobile a few feet away from him.

"What did you not understand the first time? I said: we're doing this my way now. We've lost enough time already and I am not gonna stand here and do nothing! Not anymore."

Cuddy sighed heavily and closed her eyes for a split second to gather her strength. Then she slowly walked towards him and once in front of him, she tilted her beautiful face upward to meet his tensed features and looked at him with all the power of conviction she could muster. She raised her hand and cupped the side of his cheek, tenderly caressing his stubble.

"Ok. We're doing this your way," she told him reassuringly. "I'll do another MRI; and all the tests you want, but please…" House clenched his jaws and stiffened, anticipating her request. "Tomorrow. It can wait until tomorrow."

He opened his mouth to say something and she took another small step closer to him.

"Please."

House took her hand in his and slowly slid it off of his face.

"It's only a matter of a few hours. There's no reason why things should get suddenly worse overnight," she reasoned.

He puffed and shook his head, struggling so hard against the little voice in his head that wanted to _know_, needed to have an answer, _now_, claiming it was the most rational decision to make and that waiting was reckless and irresponsible. But then, seeing the plea in her translucent light-grey eyes, feeling the heat of her body so close to his, and how much it radiated her need to be soothed with anything but medical answers, he finally yielded.

"All right," he said and he let her take his leather jacket out of his hands and move away from him.

From the doorsill where he was still standing, he watched her hang it back in the closet. She closed the door and looked up at him with a gaze that was an unmistakable and compelling invitation to forget about the present and dissolve their confused emotions in something called lust; she turned around and walked down the hallway toward his room and he followed after her, feeling slightly defeated, but ready to capitulate.

She was waiting for him and as he entered the room, she wound her arms around his waist and nuzzled his chest, burying her face in the cotton fabric of his creased shirt.

"You're not going to use sex as a bargaining tool to make me change my mind-" he warned.

"I don't want to make you change your mind," she said. "I just really need this now."

She let go of her embrace and walked towards the bed. Slowly, she unbuttoned her shirt and lay down on the mattress. He approached and sat next to her. Looking down at her bare chest, he forced himself not to think. He put out his hand and delicately traced the outline of her right breast with his fingertips. She shivered and responded to his caress by touching his thigh, gently rubbing it up his groin.

"You can't use me for comfort whenev-"

"House," she stared at him with a fond gaze. "I need you. It's _you_ I want. Not just comfort. Can't you see that I need _you_?"

He took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling for a few seconds, letting her words envelop him with the same unquestionable certainty she had when saying them. Then he sighed, almost resignedly, and seized her legs one after the other to make them bend and take her shoes off, unhurriedly. She arched her back next and he unzipped her skirt, sliding it down along her legs. He helped her get rid of her panties, then her shirt and there she finally was, naked, lying on his bed and waiting for him, with such visible expectancy it made him feel powerless and lost. Cuddy slid under the sheets and House began to undress slowly, until he was naked as well and joined her in bed, lying next to her. She turned to the side, facing him and took his hand inside hers, pulling him to her. He let her guide his body above her and he positioned himself between her legs. His chest lightly pressed on her breasts underneath him.

Her breast. That lump in her breast.

He couldn't get this idea out of his head and as stunningly beautiful as she was, as crazy as it'd have been not to want her in that moment, his body refused to respond. He lay there, above her, nestled against her hips, but his shaft remained lifeless. Sensing the weight of stress upon him and his unusual restraint, maybe even reluctance to let go of his undisclosed emotions, Cuddy started to caress the round shape of his shoulder, reassuringly and with infinite tenderness. She kissed him on his collarbone, in the crook of his neck, behind his ear, and he closed his eyes, silently praying to a non-existing god to be able to give her what she wanted, what he needed too. She wrapped one leg around his waist and began to rub her hips against his languorously.

"Look at me," she whispered softly.

He opened his eyes and she took his face inside her slender hands, cupping his jaws and planting her burning gaze inside his.

"I love you. Do you hear me? I love you, House. Tomorrow, I promise you, we'll go to the hospital and I'll let you. I'll let you do what it is that you do best and I know you'll figure this out."

She kissed his lips, almost chastely.

"You will. But please, don't think about it now." She kissed him again, with a greedier need this time and her tongue searched for his tongue, teasing and tasting the pulp of his lips, claiming entrance.

The rubbing felt suddenly more demanding and House's breath got heavier. Desire finally took hold of him and the erection started building up in his groin. Irrepressibly, he felt the need to touch her body too, caress her. He leisurely fondled her side, from her breast to her hipbone then down to her thigh, brushing it lightly with a feather touch. She let out a lustful moan and it sent an electric jolt down his spine that finished awaking him fully. His cock was now perfectly hard and ready and Cuddy felt it press against her folds.

"Make love to me," she asked in a low voice.

He propped himself up and lifted his hips to find the right angle to penetrate her. She locked eyes with him and held her breath, her body instantly tensing up and her fingers clutching his back while he pushed his length inside her, delicately. When he filled her entirely, she exhaled slowly and her muscles finally relaxed.

In and out. In and out. He focused on that sole movement at first, firmly resolute to give her what she wanted, even though it was something he wasn't sure she wholly realized she needed herself. Devotedly, he forgot himself for the sake of pleasuring her solely, and kept a slow rhythm that soon elicited louder moans out of her throat.

"Harder," she sighed yearningly, her face buried in his neck.

"No."

She thought it was a game, and she pressed the heel of her foot on his ass to push him down closer and deeper. He resisted the pressure and pulled out of her almost completely. She groaned in protestation and wriggled beneath him.

"You don't want harder. You want me," he reminded her, a bit provokingly.

Then he delved back inside her, with a long-drawn-out thrust, feeling every inch of her inner walls throb at the sensation and clamp around his cock. When he filled her entirely, she sucked in a sharp breath that almost ended up in a squeal. She panted a few times and the small of her back irrepressibly arched up toward him.

"You don't want harder," he repeated.

"_You want soft and gentle and all the things your stubborn pride refuses to let you admit you need,"_ he thought.

He set the pace and kept thrusting inside her with excruciatingly slow, rocking sways of the hips, again and again, until he could feel her body became a wave, undulating in perfect sync to the rhythm of his own.

"Tell me you love me," she asked in a whisper.

He stopped his tidal thrusts, and straightened up, cradling her face inside his hands. His deep blue eyes took on a whole new intensity and he stared at her, meaningfully. His cock buried inside of her, her frail, sweaty body snuggled up underneath his, he planted his gaze into hers and he stared right into her eyes, for seconds that felt like hours.

"Don't you already know this by now?"

She gasped, rendered speechless by the unexpected gravity of his voice. He leaned down and kissed her, biting the pulp of her lips almost angrily.

"Jesus, Cuddy, don't you fucking know this by now?" he repeated, suddenly pushing himself back inside her hard and deep.

A loud moan escaped her beautiful lips and she threw her head back on the pillow, closing her eyes. He nose-dived in her neck and nipped her warm flesh ravenously, speeding up his rhythm and slamming into her harder with every thrust. She dug her nails into his back and approved of his sudden change of pace with a raspy "yes!" so he kept fucking her, like she wanted, to bring her to that higher place she longed to be where her mind could fly away and disconnect from all the stress, the sorrow and the fear she'd been holding back. She began to squirm in his arms but he pinned her down on the mattress with his thrusts, as hard and fast as he could, in spite of the violent pain that shot through his leg, just to give her the release she'd asked for. He _fucked_ her until her gasps became liberated, uncontrollable cries and he collapsed onto her, exhausted, while she wheezed, motionless, exhaling the last remnants of her orgasmic fever in the hollow on his collarbone.

He pulled out of her, cautiously, and rolled to the side, lying on his back next to her. She slithered back towards him, and rested her head against his chest and he enfolded her in a tight embrace, greeting his teeth to endure the unbearable throbbing pain in his thigh in silence. After a few minutes of perfect stillness, he felt a wet bead of warm liquid drop onto his skin and he knew it wasn't just sweat when she huddled up closer to hide her face in his armpit. He gulped and sighed, but didn't say a word. Instead, he just caressed her hair and rocked her gently in his arms until she fell asleep.

* * *

She felt a sudden chill as if something was missing alongside her and all the warmth that had kept her cozy and relaxed was suddenly gone. She rolled over and groped around in the dark, still half asleep, patting the mattress and only meeting the emptiness of the sheets beside her. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. A faint light was coming from the living room through the hall and she reached for the lamp on the night stand to turn the light on. The alarm said 3.45a.m and a quick glance to the side confirmed what she already knew: House wasn't in bed anymore, most likely because of the pain in his leg or maybe just another one of his inexplicable insomnias and he'd probably gotten up not to wake her up. She drew the sheets out and sat up, pricking her ear to catch any sound that would have helped her find out what he was doing. After a while, it seemed to her the only one she could recognize was the sound of paper being creased or book pages being turned. She leaned down over the edge of the bed to grab her shirt on the floor and put it on, doing only the two middle buttons between her breasts. Then, she left the bedroom, reeling bare feet to the living room.

He was there, seated on the couch, with his reading glasses on, only wearing his robe. In front of him on the coffee table, dozens of medical reviews and encyclopedias were opened randomly. Near the edge of the table, she noticed his notebook where he had scribbled down some words, part of which had been hastily crossed out. She approached the couch's backrest, standing behind him and House, sensing her presence tilted his head back and shot her a glance before returning back to his reading.

"It's almost four a.m," she said softly.

"I couldn't sleep."

She bent over the back of the couch and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"What's all this?"

"I remembered there was an article that says somatotrophin and chicken prolactin administrated in the poultry industry can subsequently affects the pituitary gland to produce breast milk hormones," he reeled off without looking at her. "Especially in the case of a change of diet from an Organic Raw Vegetarian to Semi Vegetarian-"

"House,"

"Or, it could be hyperprolactinaemia. But then it'd mean you'd most likely have a tumor caused by hormonal imbalance in the Pituitary Gland and-"

"House," she repeated. "That's ok. I'm afraid too, you know."

"I'm not afraid," he lied. "I just wanna be done with this thing and know what we're dealing with for sure."

She sighed and walked round the couch to sit next to him. She leaned to the side and rested her head on his shoulder.

"I want that too," she whispered evenly. "But we are not going to do that just _now_… So why aren't you coming back to bed?"

"Go if you want. I'll join you in a minute," he mumbled, still focusing on the medical review on his lap.

She stood up, resignedly, knowing that he wouldn't come until he'd have found the beginning of an acceptable solution to soothe his brewing mind.

"Just a minute then. I'm getting cold all alone there," she pouted.

He finally deigned to lift up his head to look at her, and it seemed he only realized then she was standing half naked in front of him, wearing only a shirt. He glanced one last time at the pile of books and reviews on the coffee table and then back at her, contemplating his options. She smiled seductively and put out an inviting hand to him. He sighed and removed his glasses from his nose, putting them down beside him. He closed the review and she helped him stand up.

Hand in hand, they walked back to the bedroom in silence.

(...)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_Thank you so much for your reviews on the previous chapter. After such a long absence, I wasn't expecting to get such a response, and an awesome token of your presence. I was really humbled by your support and kindness. You rock!_

_Keep sharing your thoughts, I'd love to hear where you imagine this is going, what kind of a disease you think Cuddy has… Or if you think House will figure it out?_

_Enjoy life, give love ~ maya _


	76. Chapter 75

_Hi everyone!_

_A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapters of this story, even after the long hiatus I'd imposed on you. but I'm trying to find my pace again and update at a faster rhythm so I hope I didn't make you wait too long for this chapter!_

_So here you go: more clues about Cuddy's disease… but House's way, of course, which means surely not in the conventional way! _

_Comments make me super happy, so if you have time, please, don't go without leaving me a few words! _

_PS: Special thanks to Véronique for her professional advice on certain medical aspects of this chapter that helped me satisfy my need for plausibility and coherence in the process of diagnosing…_

* * *

**** Chapter 75 ****

When Wilson opened the door to his office that morning, the last thing he expected to come face to face with was the scruffy silhouette of House waiting for him on his couch. Not that House breaking in into his office at the most unexpected moments was something unimaginable on its own but really, at eight am, Wilson still naively hoped it was early enough for him to be safe. That's why when he stepped into the room and saw House, looking like hell and staring at him, he jumped with fright and almost dropped his briefcase on the floor. But, pulling himself together quickly, he decided to opt for indifference as the best strategy and walked round his desk as nonchalantly as he could, before sitting down on his chair.

"I saw you tried to call me last night," he started matter-of-factly, opening his briefcase and grabbing some files. "I know you probably expected to ruin my date with Erin, but you failed: I had a great night!" he added triumphantly, looking up at House with a smug, self-satisfied grin. "So if you were expecting to surprise me wallowing in misery, you're going to be disappoin-"

"I need you to see Cuddy," House interrupted him with a raspy voice.

Wilson frowned and stared at him quizzically for a few seconds.

"Ha, I get it now. She probably threw you out of course… Well I'm sorry but I'm not your relationship advisor, House. Whatever mess you've done, you need to fix it yourself."

"Everything's fine between Cuddy and me," House replied edgily.

Wilson sent him a doubtful look.

"And, I wouldn't ask your relationship advice even if you were the last man on earth…"

"You wouldn't have a relationship if I were the last man on earth," Wilson deadpanned, not really paying attention.

"We're fine, ok!" House repeated, his voice getting louder. "At least so far, we are…"

Finally, something in House's tone seemed to catch Wilson's attention and he looked up, frowning worriedly.

"What is it?"

"Milk," House said, getting straight to the point. "Coming out of her breast."

"WHAT?" Wilson's mouth dropped open and his eyes widened out in shock.

"She had a cyst; then it was gone. Supposedly."

"But… but, how's that possible?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" House shouted. "Why the hell do you think I'm here? I need you to see her."

"What do you mean _see her_? Is she… gone?" The oncologist asked hesitantly.

House sent him a glare and Wilson puffed, upset. Yet he decided it was not really the best time to let his friend know that wondering about _that_ was not as crazy as it would have sounded for anyone else. Sometimes, he wished House would realize that he and Cuddy were not a sinecure, even less the perfect model of the conventional couple, hence expecting the unexpected was like usual routine with them…

"Well, sorry, but what exactly am I supposed to do?"

"What exactly are you supposed to do? Jesus Wilson, what do you do for a living?"

"You think she has cancer?" Wilson exclaimed, bemused. "But, I thought Bill had already ruled that out-"

House shot him another glare, even darker than the previous one.

"I don't trust Bill's diagnosis, that's my point. All he's done so far was running random, useless tests which ultimately gave us NO clues about what she really has."

Wilson sighed and looked at his friend worriedly.

"Does she still have a lump?"

"I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure…" House's head fell down and he rubbed his temples with his fingertips, looking completely lost. "You know Cuddy," he added, looking up again, "She's persuaded everything is fine-"

"It's probably nothing," Wilson tried to reassure him.

"Thank you but, I'll decide it's nothing when I have tangible proof it's nothing."

"House, all I'm saying is that you don't have to worry until you-"

"I'm NOT worried! I just need a reliable diagnosis!"

"Then diagnose her!"

"I can't!"

House sighed heavily and got up, walking to the glass door and turning his back on Wilson. He stood there, for a long moment, looking straight ahead and remained stubbornly silent. Wilson wisely chose not to comment and waited for the explanation to come.

"She'll lie," House finally said. "If I ask about her symptoms, she's going to pretend she has none."

"That's insane!"

House swiftly turned around and faced his friend again.

"She left," He said with sadness in his eyes. "When she found out she had a lump, she took the first plane to Boston and she went to see another doctor!"

"Come on," Wilson rolled his eyes. "The circumstances were different. She was scared and confused. But you both got past that. And she's here now. She _loves_ you."

"I don't need her love," House replied angrily, "I need her to trust me."

"She does! House, she _trusts_ you. She needs your support."

"She needs to be diagnosed."

Wilson puffed resignedly: when House had decided to hide himself behind the rationality of medical arguments, it was pointless to try to reason him or make him admit he was wrong.

"I need to be absolutely sure," House carried on, almost apologetically. He looked down at his feet for a brief instant as if he were searching for the right words. "Patients lie. I don't care if it's Cuddy and I should _know_ she probably won't lie _to me_. I just can't look at her as a patient and ask myself if she's telling the truth. I need to be absolutely sure," he repeated.

Wilson nodded empathically, not giving House his approval but at least letting him know he was somehow able to understand his twisted reasoning.

"What do you know so far?"

"She's lost weight. She's tired. She's nervous."

"The Board meeting and you putting her under unnecessary pressure with your latest stunt would explain that…" Wilson said sarcastically.

House glowered at him but chose to ignore the deliberately provoking comment.

"Probably. But she's edgy. More than usual and…"

"What?"

"She's got a very big appetite for…" House finished his sentence with a vague gesture of the hand and looked away, uneasy.

"For what? You said she's lost weight."

"Jesus, Wilson! Don't be such a moron! I mean SEX, ok? Appetite for sex!"

"Oh I see… Good for you! I… guess…" Wilson stuttered trying to sound detached.

"Yeah. Thank you," House replied cynically, "Cuddy and I have lots of sex if that's what you wanna know."

"I'm not asking anything!"

"Good, because you won't get any answers! That's not what I'm saying anyway… I'm thinking about possible hormonal imbalance."

"Hypertestosteronemia?"

"As an underlying cause, yes."

"What? House, come on! You're not thinking of…"

"Sertoli-Leydig. It's possible."

"But unlikely," Wilson started calmly.

"You don't know that!" House blurted out, getting upset. "We've only been focusing on the breast but maybe that's only part of a bigger picture. And you, of all people, should know increased libido could be a symptom of ovarian cancer…"

"House, don't assume the worst just yet…"

"You think I have a choice? What am I supposed to do? Sit there and wait for her condition to worsen?"

"She only has milk coming out of her breasts…"

"Oh she _only_ has that! Great! There's nothing to worry about then…"

House sat down on the couch again. He put his cane between his thighs, rested his chin atop the handle and sighed heavily.

"I'm just saying that increased libido, assuming that, in Cuddy's case, it's indeed a symptom, plus milk coming out of her breast could-" Wilson started.

"She's not pregnant."

"Why not?"

"Because she's not."

Wilson raised his eyebrow expectantly upon seeing House so adamant.

"They checked her HCG level in Boston. She's not pregnant," House explained. "Since we've only come back a week ago, and in the highly improbable case scenario she did get pregnant in the meantime, it'd be too early for any of those symptoms to occur."

"So you're not saying she couldn't actually be pregnant."

"Wilson," House snapped. "Get real, for God's sake! I'm 50, Cuddy is 41. She's taking the pill. Seriously, what are the odds of her getting pregnant? Even with the frequency with which we've been doing it, and trust me we've been doing it a lot lately…"

Wilson squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head frantically.

"Ok, ok, ok! Stop! I don't need any more allusion to your overactive sex life!"

House smiled, almost in spite of himself.

"Still didn't get it on with Erin?" he asked teasingly.

"That's none of your business," Wilson replied defensively.

"_You_ said you had a great night but I don't think masturbation can make you that happy…"

Wilson scowled but managed not to make any comment. Eventually, his stubborn silence brought House back to his primary focus.

"Her CA 15.3 was at 38," he finally said blankly.

"Levels of breast cancer antigens under 50 usually indicate a false positive," Wilson answered with more of an oncologist voice than just that of a friend trying to be reassuring. The more he was putting all the information House was giving him together, the more he was starting to get concerned as well. But he sure didn't want to show it to House. That wouldn't have helped. Certainly not with the way House was already sounding so worried, even though he was trying to forcefully deny it.

"What do you want me to do?" he offered empathically.

"Check it again. Check the markers for ovary, too."

"And… that's all?" Wilson couldn't hide his surprise. "You've come to ask me to draw Cuddy's blood?"

"We need some tests results first before we know exactly where to look for," House elaborated, as if speaking to himself.

"You're asking me to draw Cuddy's blood," Wilson repeated, dumbfounded. "I'm not a nurse, House. I'm ok with helping you, but I have patients to see and…"

"I'm not asking you _just_ that!" House cut him off, sounding a bit exasperated. "You need to ask her about how she feels. Ask her questions. Get some intel."

"Why can't you do that yourself?"

"BECAUSE! I told you she will most likely lie to me."

"You're sick House. I cannot believe you actually think Cuddy would lie to you about her symptoms. She's relying on you. She's always had. You know that perfectly. So why would she now?"

"She had her periods twice this month. Actually, she didn't but there were blood."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I know what I'm talking about," House spat bitterly. "I _know_ her. She's lost some blood. I tried to ask and she dismissed me."

"I can understand that. I mean, I'm not a woman, but I can easily get why this is not something she'd randomly want to talk about…"

"It was not random! She dismissed me, _purposely_. And then, a few days later I found out she had that lump."

"But she probably didn't want to worry you inconsiderately."

The words died down in Wilson's throat as he realized he'd just given House the perfect motive to prove his point. House didn't even lose time gloating about it.

"It happened during sex," House added looking Wilson straight in the eyes a bit provokingly. "At first I didn't think it was alarming, given that, you know, things can get very passionate with Cuddy…"

"Oh God!" Wilson covered his face with both his hands.

"What?" House exclaimed theatrically. "The only clues I have usually come in the form of lustful, appreciative moans…"

Wilson sent a disapproving look in House's direction, even though, knowing his friend, it was impossible not to understand his extravaganza was part of an act.

"She wouldn't tell _me_ if it hurt," House continued, with a smirk. "I asked but apparently I'm this incredibly fulfilling stud…"

"Alright. Fine!" Wilson interrupted, scratching his skull frantically as if he'd wanted to remove the thought from his brain.

"So you'll do it?" House asked, sounding relieved.

Wilson took a deep breath and tried to convince himself he would be doing that for Cuddy.

"Yes," he simply answered.

"Thank you."

"Ok, so CA 13-5 and 19-9, maybe check HCG again; find out about any sign of…" he gulped but continued in his most professional voice, "pain during the sexual act."

"There and around the nipples, armpit, chest."

Wilson sighed heavily.

"She's going to hate me for asking her that," he said wearily. "Worse, she's going to hate _you_ for making me ask her that…"

"Then she'll hate me. I don't care. The priority is to figure out which symptoms are relevant and which are not."

Upon hearing House, whose voice had sounded low and slightly wobbling, Wilson suddenly realized he was nothing but scared for the woman he loved. The realization hit him and he felt sorry for his friend, _both_ his friends. House was right: he needed to have answers. If anything, the way he was pushing Wilson to get them with deliberately provoking arguments was only proof of how distressed and helpless he must feel.

Wilson slightly nodded and House stood up, grabbing his cell phone. He dialed a number and pressed the receiver against his ear.

"Be in exam room three in fifteen minutes," he said authoritatively as soon as he was through, and hung up without waiting to receive an answer.

The two friends shared a last silent stare and House left the room without making any further comment. As soon as he was out, Wilson looked down at his files resignedly and picked up his phone.

"Sandy," he said to his assistant, "I need you to reschedule my 8.30 appointment with Mrs. Ruiz… No, everything's fine, it's just something I need to do… I think I probably won't be available until 10 am... Yes, you're right… cancel the next one as well… thank you Sandy."

* * *

House limped his way into the conference room and came face to face with Thirteen who was seated alone and drinking a cup of coffee while reading the morning paper.

"Good morning!" she chanted, raising her face and greeting House with a smile.

House, barely acknowledging her presence with a grunt, kept on walking and crossed the room with a heavy pace, before disappearing in his office. He shut the glass door behind him and closed the blinds, conspicuously asserting his desire to be left alone.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine, thanks for asking," Thirteen mumbled before taking another sip of coffee and returning to her reading, unmoved.

Inside his office, even before he'd taken the time to take his jacket off, House turn on his computer and sat down at his desk, nervously tapping his fingers on his lap. Once the laptop was on, he immediately swiveled his chair and started typing, accessing his personal medical database and looking for every related case he could think of which combined all of Cuddy's symptoms he considered relevant enough to start a diagnosis.

Ten minutes later, which was the time she thought was required to let her boss' grumpy mood sink in and dare disturb him, Thirteen knocked on House's office door.

"I'm busy!" he growled from the other side of wall.

Heedless of the warning, Thirteen pushed the door open and approached the desk nonetheless.

"What?" House asked, looking up.

"Jenny Reed…" the young female doctor started.

"Who's Jenny Reed?"

"Uh… our patient, the one with Behçet's!"

"Ah yes!" House said impatiently. "What about her?"

"You were right," Thirteen simply answered.

"And? Does that come as a surprise?"

"I, well, that's not what I'm saying, but…"

"What?" House interrupted her, growing annoyed.

"I heard her husband wanted to sue the hospital…"

"He changed his mind."

"Oh really?" Thirteen asked, perfectly faking surprise.

"Yeah really. Now, do you actually have a reason to be here or are you just trying to be annoying?"

Thirteen rolled her eyes. _So much for showing a little concern_, she thought.

"Uh, yes…" she straightened up and looked at House with a new-found assertiveness, "What dose of prednisone should we administrate her now? You started the treatment with a pretty high dosage, so I was wondering if…"

"You wonder too much! The first dosage was only a onetime thing. Just give her the standard dosage now."

"Ok."

Thirteen turned on her heels and started walking towards the door. But before she exited the room, House's voice called her back.

"You didn't come here to wonder about Jenny Reed's treatment _for real_," he said, narrowing his eyes at her suspiciously. "Actually, you perfectly know the first dosage I gave her is not standard treatment."

"And?" Thirteen replied challengingly, an amused grin drawing on her lips.

"If you say you saw me talk to her husband yesterday, I'll deny it," House warned her, the same smile forming on the corner of his lips.

"I didn't see anything," Thirteen said, winking at him.

"Good. Now go away and treat the patient."

Thirteen left the office and House returned to his computer, a faint smile still lingering on his lips.

* * *

Cuddy pushed the door to exam room three open and hastily walked inside.

"I know I agreed to let you do that your way," she muttered with her head down, fumbling with the buttons of her shirt to start undoing them. "But I have an appointment at 9.30 and I…"

She tilted her head up and spotted Wilson standing in front of her, she stopped dead in her tracks, mouth agape. Her hands dropped along her thighs and after the first moment of surprise, she glanced behind her to check the number written on the door, wondering if she'd come in the right room. But when she got confirmation she indeed was in exam room three, as she expected to be, she turned around in Wilson's direction again, looking him right in the eyes with an inquiring, slightly annoyed gaze.

"Where's House?"

Wilson shifted nervously on his feet and tightened his grip on the medical file he was holding in his left hand.

"He's… uh… I… Well, he… asked me to…" he stuttered uncomfortably.

Cuddy puffed upset and picked up the receiver of the phone hung on the wall.

"House!" she exclaimed, trying to contain her anger. "I'm in exam room three-"

"Good," House answered, unimpressed by her warning tone. "And? Isn't Wilson there?"

"Yes, Wilson's here. That's my point. Why is Wilson here?"

"Well, because he's a doctor! Unless he's been duping you all those years, which means he would have illegally treated hundreds of patients-"

"Cut the crap," she cut him off. "What I'm asking is: why aren't _you_ here instead of him?"

"I'm busy, he said. "So I thought, since I can't be here, you'd at least want someone familiar to confide in."

"What? Confide in?"

"Cuddy, I'm sorry-" Wilson started, uneasy.

"Wilson, shut up!" she told him, swirling around and silencing him with a glare. "I assume it means Wilson already knows about last night," she went on, addressing House again.

"Don't worry," House answered. "He's not going to touch your boobs. I'm the one doing that. He's just here to draw some blood and-"

"Fine," Cuddy finally yielded, aggravated, knowing it was pointless to argue with House in that specific moment.

Not waiting for House's answer, she hung up and turned around to face Wilson, who looked at her with a sympathetic smile.

"Let's make this quick," she said, closing the door behind her. Rolling her sleeve up, she entered the room and sat on the exam table.

"Cuddy, I'm sorry," Wilson repeated. "I know you'd have wanted House to be here but that doesn't mean he's not concerned or-"

"Wilson, that's ok. You don't need to defend him. I know House. I'm the stupid one here. I should have known he'd have sent you."

"Just… relax, ok?" he told her reassuringly, while applying the tourniquet on her bicep.

After he disinfected the bend of her arm with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol, Wilson slowly pushed the needle into her vein and the dark red liquid ran inside the test tube while Cuddy tilted her head to the side. When the needle slid out of her vein, she pressed the cotton on it and bent her arm.

"What did he ask you to test?" she inquired, while Wilson finished labeling the tube.

"CA 15-3, HCG-"

"I'm not pregnant."

"Better to check it twice," Wilson answered with his head down. "Cuddy, if your breast leaks it can be the early signs of the hormonal changes due to pregnancy."

"And if I'm not pregnant?" Cuddy questioned stubbornly, knowing that in her case, the chances of her having a baby were slim to none.

"We'll check CA 19-9 and SCC too," Wilson replied hastily, anticipating her reaction.

"What? Ovary?" she exclaimed, "Why would you test that?"

Confronted to Wilson's obstinate silence, Cuddy's mouth dropped open in bemusement.

"Is it House's idea to test that?" she insisted, visibly upset.

Wilson took a deep breath and Cuddy instantly felt his uneasiness.

"_Why_?" she demanded.

"I… uh…" Wilson stammered embarrassed, "I need to ask you a few questions…"

Cuddy puffed and shook her head.

"Of course. Did House also tell you what questions you need to ask?"

"No!" Wilson tried to defend himself, desperately searching for the best way not to upset her more than she already was. "Cuddy, that's the standard procedure in your case," he half-lied.

"So, I presume that, _in my case_, the questions are about my sex life."

Wilson's cheeks turned red.

"Well partly yes, but…" he sighed. "Maybe you should see Erin. I could ask her to…"

"No. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want the medical staff to be informed of my condition just yet. People will know soon enough. So please, just go ahead and ask what you need to ask. It's not like I haven't said everything there is to know to House already, but if he thinks you need to hear it too to double check my answers…" she said bitterly.

"Cuddy, that's not what you think. House is worried. He's helpless. You know how he feels when he can't figure something out."

"Yeah, I know. But, sometimes, it feels like he doesn't trust me to tell him the truth."

"You ran away from him after you found out you had a lump in you breast. You went to see another doctor!" Wilson's voice was getting reproachful. "How do you think he handled that news? It's not against you, but you have to understand not knowing is a big issue for him."

Cuddy looked away, feeling guilty. She bit her lips and blinked a few times to hold back the tears that had formed in her eyes, almost in spite of her.

Wilson allowed her to take some time to get over her distressing feelings, pretending not to have noticed her discomfort and conveniently started to fill the form for the blood test. Thinking about what she'd just said about wanting to keep the exam secret, he suddenly turned to her with an inquiring gaze.

"Do you want me to list you under a fake name?"

"If you don't mind."

"Sure, no problem!" Wilson peeled off the label and stuck another one to the test tube. "What name do I write?" he asked.

"Julia Smith," Cuddy said almost without giving it a second thought.

Wilson's eyebrows arched in surprise.

"Julia's my sister name," she explained, "and Smith… is because," Cuddy thought about the name she'd given in the hotel in Boston where House and her had spent the night before going back to Princeton. "Well, because Smith is one of the most common names so it won't draw anyone's attention," she said, keeping the anecdote to herself.

Wilson nodded and wrote down the name before putting the tube in his lab coat's pocket.

"I'll do the test myself," he told her to reassure her.

"Thank you Wilson."

"You'll have the result tomorrow."

"Ok."

"Now… about your breast," Wilson started, keeping his head down to avoid her gaze as much as he could.

"Go on, ask me!" Cuddy said, with a smile. She was now seeing the irony behind that unusual situation and Wilson's embarrassment was actually an amusing distraction to her own uneasiness. He was her friend after all, and House's too, she told herself. And she had no doubt he wasn't doing any of this for the pleasure of making her feel uncomfortable.

Plus, she knew how House functioned. It'd have been a lie to pretend she'd been really surprised to see things happening the way they were now. Of course, she'd have preferred to have him, by her side, doing the exam himself, but deep down, she knew he would not do it. House was the brain in the diagnosing process, not the hand which performed the tasks. He was assigning them and drawing conclusions based upon the results he was given and for that he needed to step back, and look at the whole picture from a far distance. Even if it was her. Maybe even more _because_ it was her.

Cuddy was afraid but she realized that, while she needed to be reassured, House, in his own unique way, was doing exactly that by letting her know he was doing everything he could to find the answers and diagnose her. And as weird and uncommon as it seemed, sending Wilson was his way of saying he was there with her, somehow. Looking at Wilson, Cuddy realized that, through the presence of the oncologist, she was in fact with House, giving _him_ the answers he needed.

"It's my right breast," she said, all her previous discomfort dissolving in that sudden evidence. "Yesterday, a thin trickle of yellowish liquid leaked through the areola."

Wilson took a deep breath and focused on his notepad, writing down the information.

"Ok. Did it start spontaneously?"

"No," she couldn't contain a small laugh. "I see House didn't tell you everything after all", she said, smiling.

"Oh… I see. So was it… kneading… pinching?"

"Sucking."

"Al-right."

"And nipping."

The oncologist raised his head and looked at Cuddy. Her smile was genuinely amused.

"You know that's funny," she said.

"What is?"

"That's not the kind of details I'd have imagined sharing with you, not that you don't already know them since House probably tells you all there is to know about his sexual exploits anyway…"

"No, no. he doesn't!"

"Really?" she sounded genuinely surprised.

"Yes, really. And uh… apart from last night, are there any other circumstances when the same happened to your breast?"

"No, that was the first time."

"Any… uh… pain?"

"No. Not during the sucking part if that's what you're asking."

"Yes. Ok. And apart from that?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, apart from the usual sensitiveness before menstruation."

"Sure. You're on the pill, right?"

"Uh…"

"You're not taking the pill?" Wilson asked, sounding involuntarily excessively surprised.

"Yes, but… I, well, I consider quitting and getting an IUD."

"Alright. But you haven't yet, right?"

"No."

"Cuddy, if you're uncomfortable, you know you could talk to someone else… Erin is..."

"No Wilson, that's ok, I already told you I don't want anyone to know right now."

"Ok."

"You're mentioning Erin a lot lately," she teased, with a bantering tone. "does it mean things are going well between you?"

"It… it's… fine!" Wilson replied, blushing. "We're doing fine. She's uh… a nice girl."

Cuddy sent him a fond gaze.

"Yeah. She's a nice girl. I'm happy for you Wilson."

"Thank you!"

"So, kneading and pinching, really uh?" she added, tilting her head to the side and looking at Wilson with a mischievous smile.

Wilson's eyes widened out in bewilderment.

"Oh come on Wilson!" Cuddy cajoled, patting his arm. "That's only fair: I'm sitting here telling you about my sex life… you could share a little bit with me too… as a friend."

"I don't believe it!" Wilson exclaimed.

"What?" She burst into spontaneous laughter upon seeing Wilson's astonishment.

"You and House are definitely meant to be together. You're just equally crazy."

The laughter died inside Cuddy's throat and her gaze was lost straight ahead for a short moment.

"Yeah," she uttered under her breath, with a sudden sadness in her eyes.

"He'll figure this out," Wilson said supportively, feeling sorry for what his friends had to go through.

"I know." Her voice had found a softer tone.

Wilson cleared his throat and Cuddy raised her face to him.

"Any more questions?" she asked.

"Yes… uh…"

"What?" Cuddy stiffened imperceptibly on the exam table.

"Any abnormal bleeding you've noticed?"

"You mean, has my breast been bleeding? No. No blood, just… that liquid yesterday."

"I meant vaginal discharge?"

"Oh," Cuddy gulped before straightening up. "No."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"No bleeding?"

Cuddy inhaled slowly and narrowed her eyes at Wilson, trying to guess what part of the question was his and what was House's. She remembered having lost some blood just after she and House had sex a couple of weeks before, but in her mind, it was really nothing. She also remembered that House, of course, had noticed it and asked her about it, but in the afterglow of their passionate lovemaking, she'd dismissed his worries, saying it was just the consequences of his rough fervor that night. Not that she was complaining about it, God no! she'd told him, snuggling up in his arms, and he hadn't insisted. She thought he had forgotten about it, just as she had too, but now, she couldn't help but think House, trying to put the puzzle together, had surely recalled that incident.

"Just once," she finally said sighing, and before Wilson could add anything, she added "but it was nothing! I've already told that to House… It was just that one time. And it wasn't much blood. We… were a little too passionate, that's all." She forced herself to keep her chin up and maintain eye contact with Wilson.

This time, it was his turn to gulp.

"Ok. If you say so."

"Yes. Come on Wilson! You know how it is, right?" Cuddy teased, regaining her composure after the previous awkwardness had dissipated.

"Nuh-uh, nice try, but I'm not giving you details about my sex life with Erin!" Wilson warned, shaking his head.

"Ha! So there _is_ a sex life!"

"Jesus, you're impossible!"

She chuckled.

"You can't blame me for trying to have a little fun here, given the circumstances."

"Yeah," Wilson said, nodding.

"Don't screw things up," Cuddy said. "I have no intention of losing my new OB-Gyn so soon after hiring her."

"Well thank you for your support, but I have no intention of letting her leave either."

"Good."

Wilson patted the pocket where he'd previously put the test tube filled with Cuddy's blood and then glanced at the clock on the wall.

"Don't you have an appointment at 9.30?" he reminded her.

Cuddy turned to the side to look at the clock as well.

"Oh God, you're right! I need to go! I mean, is that okay?"

"Yes, I think we're done," Wilson replied.

Cuddy pushed herself off of the exam table and tidied her skirt with her palm before readjusting the sleeve of her shirt. She walked towards the exit door and just before opening it to leave she turned around and gave Wilson a grateful smile.

"Thank you Wilson," she said, and before he could answer anything, she was gone.

Alone in the room, Wilson glanced down at his note and took a deep breath.

"Anytime," he mumbled before heading out as well.

(...)

* * *

_**A/N**_

_DDXing Cuddy is far from being done, as you can see since we're only entering phase one of the process: where House hides in his office and sends someone else to deal with the problem._

_At some point though, I promise, he'll get involved, and reaaaaally involved. :D_

_Btw, any ideas about what Cuddy has? _


	77. Chapter 76

_Hi everyone!_

_At some point between my previous update and this chapter, I may have let it slip (in other online places) that I would throw some completely gratuitous sex in that chapter._

_I guess I failed, miserably._

_Because it seems nothing is ever completely gratuitous, even less sex between House and Cuddy…_

_That being said, I still hope you'll like reading that new part._

_Let me know what you think!_

* * *

**** Chapter 76 ****

"Where are the others?" Foreman said, entering the conference room and realizing that only Thirteen was there.

"And good morning to you too!" she answered sarcastically, getting up. "Taub took the day off, and Kutner's in the E.R," she explained, passing by Foreman and walking out with a determined pace.

He watched her leave the room a little flabbergasted but when she stopped at the threshold and turned around to look at him, he arched his eyebrows in surprise.

"Come!" she commanded assertively.

Instead of abiding by Thirteen's request, Foreman frowned dubiously and shot a glance at the closed blinds of House's office.

"Where's House?"

"In there," Thirteen said with a movement of the chin pointing in the same direction Foreman was looking at. "Now, come on! There's something..."

"What?" Foreman said, irritated. "Problem with the patient?" He hung his overcoat to the coat-rack. "If there's something, we should inform him…" he started, taking a step towards House's office.

Thirteen grabbed his arm just in time and yanked him into the hallway with her.

"Who said something happened to the patient? Leave House alone, and _come. with. me_," she repeated for the third time, pronouncing each word slowly and staring intensely at him with her most compelling gaze.

Foreman wriggled his shoulders a bit to set himself free from her grasp and sighed heavily, clearly annoyed to have to comply to a demand he had no idea about.

"So?" Thirteen pushed one last time before she started walking towards the elevator, "Are you coming or what?"

Foreman had no other choice but to follow. They both stepped into the car and Thirteen pressed the button to the second floor. Where the door slid shut, Foreman turned to face her and glared.

"Are you gonna tell me what the hell it is about?" he scowled.

Ignoring his inquisitive stare, Thirteen kept her focus straight ahead for a few more seconds and when the elevator reached its destination and stopped, she said, "This is huge."

The door opened and she stepped outside without further comment.

Foreman caught up with her as she walked straight in the lab's direction, her heels clicking on the floor with a high-pitched sound.

"What? What's huge?" Foreman asked, walking alongside her with the same, fast rhythm.

"House has been locked up in his office since eight this morning. And he's grumpy…"

"And? God, Remy! Is _that_ the 'huge' something you're talking about? Because sorry but, when was House being cranky anything but _normal_?" he puffed and turned on his heel, ready to head back to the elevator.

Thirteen quickly walked round him and blocked his way, standing in front of him.

"_Eight_ in the morning," she emphasized, with a conspiring smile, "Don't you think it's a little early?"

"Yeah, so? Maybe it is, but that's not a reason to…"

"That's not what I'm talking about anyway," she added, retiring in a corner, to avoid the hallway traffic of hurrying doctors and nurses.

Foreman followed her reluctantly and waited for her explanation, stomping his foot on the floor.

"Ok so," she added. "Right now nothing's totally sure, but I may have put my hand on something really intriguing… So, interested in knowing, or what?"

Exasperated, Foreman rolled his eyes and titled his head to the side, looking at her with quite a look of dismay.

"Hospital gossips, great! That's exactly the kind of things I was burning to know right now," he grumbled disapprovingly. "What is it with you girls always needing to spread those silly rumors about who sleeps with whom anyway?"

"Do I look like a girlie girl to you?" Thirteen cut him off impatiently. "Nobody sleeps with anybody, or more like everybody sleeps with everybody but, who cares? That's not the point."

"Then what is the dammed point?"

"House is doing research."

"Really? Here's some news!" Foreman shook his head, aggravated.

"I saw something on his computer screen this morning..." Thirteen carried on, not paying attention to his snarky remark. "it was about hormones I think, although I just caught a glimpse of it."

"Do you actually have something to say that makes sense? _At all_?"

"I went to the clinic, after I checked on the patient," Thirteen said, changing strategy.

Foreman's face was conveying nothing but absolute skepticism. Clearly, he did not understand one word of what Thirteen was saying and he was becoming tired of trying.

"Cuddy was there-"

"Wow, another big news!"

"-walking out of an exam room."

Foreman opened his mouth to say another sarcastic remark about the fact that Cuddy in spite of the appearances was a real doctor, too, and that, yes, occasionally did clinic hours, like any doctors but he stopped himself and held his breath instead, when Thirteen, anticipating his barb shot him a warning glare.

"And a minute later," she said, with a dramatic voice. "Wilson exited the same room."

It finally got Foreman's attention and Thirteen saw it instantly from the look of confusion that started to spread on his face.

"What? How? Wh… Are you saying Cuddy and Wilson…"

Before he could finish his sentence, Thirteen snapped her fingers right under his nose.

"Foreman! This is real life, not an episode of Prescription Passion!" she said sharply, her eyes flashing.

"I'm trying to find out where this is going," Foreman defended himself.

"And you're doing a pretty lame job at it! What do you do in an exam room?"

"You… uh… exam?" he said, looking bored.

"Exactly!"

"So what? Seriously, I don't even know why we're discussing that right now. That's none of our business anyway. For all I know, Cuddy needed Wilson to sign some paperwork, or he wrote her a pill prescription."

"Wilson is an oncologist!" Thirteen exclaimed, getting unnerved by Foreman's obvious lack of focus.

"Yeah, whatever… They're friends, and that's not like it'd be the first time Wilson would have written a prescription for something _not cancer_ related," Foreman contradicts, nodding knowingly. "I'm sorry but if this is all you've got, you're going to be alone in your excitement here. Now if you'll excuse me, I have things to do."

And with that, he started to walk away. Thirteen promptly grabbed him by his shirt's sleeve and held him back.

"No you don't! Listen to me," she ordered cogently, shooting him a silencing glare. "Cuddy went back in her office, and she was not carrying any files with her. And Wilson…"

"What about him?"

"Well, that's where it gets interesting," she whispered in a low voice, coming closer and waiting to get Foreman's full attention, "I followed him…"

"What? You followed-"

"Shut up and listen! Wilson went straight to the lab." She stopped and waited for the news to produce the awaited effect.

Foreman shrugged instead and looked at her with a trace of slightly annoyed impatience.

"An oncologist going to the lab… uhm, yeah now _that_'s interesting."

"You know what he was doing in there?" Thirteen tantalized.

"No, but obviously _you_ do."

"He brought a blood test."

Foreman's eyebrows arched in what finally seemed to show real interest.

"Cuddy did a blood test?"

"Seems like it."

"Are we even sure it's Cuddy's blood?" he added, glancing at the lab.

Thirteen noticed the use of the word "we" as proof of Foreman's implication and she smiled inwardly.

"I'm pretty sure it is."

"Why?"

"Because I searched in the database for every new test that's being currently run in the lab and the only name that was added today is Julia Smith…"

"And it proves that it's Cuddy's blood _because_?-" Foreman asked dubiously.

"There's no patient registered under that name in the hospital right now," she explained "And I mean, no _clinic_ patient either; at least not in the past two days," she quickly added before Foreman start questioning her logic.

"Wow! Fake name?" he said, his brows turning into a frown.

"Yep!" Thirteen exclaimed with a sing song voice.

"Why would Cuddy run a blood test under a fake name?"

"Because she doesn't want people to know she's having one?"

"You think she's-"

"Pregnant?"

"You think she is?"

"No. _You_ think she is?"

"I didn't say that," Foreman contradicted.

"Then what? STD?"

Foreman rolled his eyes disapprovingly.

"Always the optimistic one…" he told her, with a pout.

"Well, _anyway_, we're here to find out," Thirteen said, determinedly walking towards the lab.

Foreman held her back, forcing her to stop.

"Sorry but _why_ would we do that again?"

"Oh come on! Cuddy disappeared for a whole week; now she's back and she has her blood tested. Under a _fake name_… Something's definitely fishy here."

"Doesn't mean it's any of our business," Foreman argued.

"Wow, I thought you'd know better," she quipped.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means if something's going on with Cuddy right now, it'll most certainly affect House. And it won't be long before, in turn, it starts to affect _us_… So, sorry to disagree but, as long as our jobs are concerned, that's definitely _our_ business."

Foreman narrowed his eyes for a moment, weighing his options.

"I don't need to remind you how _he_ would be if things go wrong, do I?" she added, feeling Foreman's reticence melting away.

And indeed, it was. Thirteen's remark had instantly triggered Foreman's memory and forced him to focus on how much of an unbearable prick House had been when Cuddy was away and how, specifically, he'd treated _him_ during that period, edgy and on the verge of being violent for no reasons at each and every occasion there was. Yes, Foreman thought, there was no doubt that their boss' mood was deeply intricate, of not entirely co-dependent on how much happiness, at least less misery, House was getting in his life. And there was no doubt either that being in a relationship with Cuddy had done a lot to improve that in more than one way. Being with her had made him light-spirited, relaxed and generally inclined to social interactions that almost looked like normal ones. Hell, Foreman had been working with House for years and _now_ was the best he'd ever seen him. They definitely couldn't let that be jeopardized.

"Fine!" he muttered his agreement, letting go of Thirteen's forearm that he'd grabbed the whole time. "And by the way, why do you need me?" he added after a short moment of reflection.

"Audrey is there." Thirteen said, as if the name itself would explain everything.

"And?"

"Oh please, she's all over you! You think no one can see how she's totally melting each time you're around? 'Oh Doctor Foreman! Sure Doctor Foreman! Anything you want Doctor Foreman!'" she mocked, her voice deliberately sugary.

Foreman shook his head in dismay but made no comment. They headed to the Lab, where indeed they came face to face with Audrey, the assistant, who was absorbed in paperwork. She tilted her head up when she heard the sound of footsteps coming in and a bright smile instantly illuminated her face.

"Oh, hi Doctor Foreman!" she said, visibly pleased to see him. Thirteen followed shortly after and she barely gave her a nod. "What brings you here?"

"Hi Audrey!" Foreman answered coming close to her desk, pulling his most assertive stance. "Dr. Wilson came earlier with a blood test," he explained, then leaning a little toward her, his chest coming closer to her shoulder.

"Yes," she answered hesitantly.

"Julia Smith, is that right?"

The assistant nodded. Thirteen was standing behind the desk, trying to look busy with things, while in fact she was only nervously twisting her fingers to keep her hands occupied.

"Uh," Audrey stuttered a little uneasy. "Dr. Wilson said he wanted to handle that personally."

"I know," Foreman said casually, making it sound like it was not a problem. "But Dr. Wilson specifically asked _me_ to come here and check the blood sample to make sure it's viable for the tests he ordered."

That was a lame excuse. Foreman realized it the moment the words came out of his mouth. Thirteen shot him a glare from across the desk. Besides, for a split second, Audrey imperceptibly frowned skeptically, looking surprised and unsure about Foreman's motives. But he smiled reassuringly and her expression of puzzlement faded away quickly. After all, she was just an assistant and doctor Foreman, well, he was a doctor. A very sexy one at that, she thought, suddenly becoming aware of the scent of his perfume invading the air around her and tickling her nostrils.

"There're two samples," she told him. "I think there's largely enough blood to run the tests…"

"Yes, sure," Foreman confirmed, glancing at Thirteen, looking a bit helpless. "But…"

"Uh, it depends," Thirteen butted in, with a confident voice. "Sometimes the first results can be false positives and we may need to do the tests twice but Julia Smith's condition isn't compatible with excessive draws of blood… I mean, see by yourself, the tests are enough a strong indication of that." She planted her gaze in Audrey's eyes, compellingly inviting her to indeed check by herself and finally bring them the answer they needed.

That was undoubtedly a gambling move but there was no time to lose anymore over falsely polite formulas. They had to get to the point. Foreman held his breath and alternatively stared at Thirteen and Audrey with a slightly panicked gaze that the assistant fortunately misread as a solemn one indicating she _had to_ do as she was told. She quickly fumbled into her files and pulled a sheet of paper out of the pile. She read the form and nodded with a look of concern on her face while Thirteen, seizing the opportunity, promptly leaned forward to give it a look as well. Her expression changed the second she laid eyes on the form and Foreman couldn't miss it. Expectantly, feeling his heartbeats speeding up, he looked at Thirteen while she was staring at the words written down on the white sheet of paper. She gulped and tilted her head up very slowly.

"See? Ovarian AND breast cancer markers," she said, talking to the lab assistant but staring right into Foreman's eyes. "Julia Smith can't risk having her tests screwed up…"

She bit her lips, still intensely searching for Foreman's gaze who had frozen still, processing the news, his mouth agape in astonishment.

# # # # #

After a tiresome day spent searching obsessively for answers, House left the hospital in the evening to go back to his apartment. In the parking lot, just before he got on his bike and put his helmet on, the thought of him going back home where later Cuddy would probably join him suddenly hit him. That's what his life was like now: he was not a miserable lonely jerk anymore. He had someone to be with, someone to come to, someone to take care of…

That last thought sent chills down his spine as the very idea of not being able to make things right invaded his brain. He shivered and stared blankly ahead for a while. Nobody had ever handed him the manual for relationships and he was more than convinced that he was doing a lot of things completely wrong, but he was _trying_. Trying really hard and because of that, it had been almost a year now since he was rewarded with the unhoped-for chance to be with the most gorgeous woman he'd ever known, and received her love, in spite of his flaws, his assholery and every display of affection he was incapable of showing her. Yes, he thought, he was a lucky bastard for having her. Just the fact that she would let _him_ love her was awe-inspiring in a way. He'd wanted her for so long, there was no denying that, but at some point in his life he'd almost given up hoping. And now, now he had her. She was there, she was his and he didn't want to try to understand how that could have happened because whenever he tried, his head would start spinning. But there was one thing he was absolutely sure of and it was that, whether he'd deserved that miracle or not, now that he'd tasted it he would never be able to let go of it. She was all he needed in his life. She was what made his life worth living to begin with. Without her, he'd be dead or locked-up in an asylum. He couldn't lose her, he couldn't even begin to envision what it would feel like not to have her, not to hold her, not to fall asleep beside her…

And it terrified him.

He suddenly realized that those past months he had let someone into his life and now he was completely addicted to what it felt like to have that, her, love. He didn't know what to do with that overwhelming evidence, neither did he know if he should be reassured by it or feel frightened, but it just hit him in his guts and his hands started to shake slightly. He stared down at them for a moment, unaware of him inhaling long, slow breathings, and he reached out for his bottle of pills in the back pocket of his jeans. Quickly he slid one tablet inside his palm and tilting his head backwards, he pushed the 20mg of chemical soothing down his throat. Then he hopped on his bike and drove off.

She arrived a little before nine. During the few hours that had preceded her advent, House had bustled about the kitchen, cooking his most exquisite cuisine. When he lacked words to express how he felt, he usually let his actions speak for him and that night, there was no doubt he had many things to tell her: pardon me, love me, stay with me, don't hate me, don't leave me… don't die… The words were getting muddled in his head while at the same time they seemed so clear it almost frightened him.

She opened the door using her key and he realized that the sound it made in the lock was the one he wanted his life to sound like: the sound of someone who would come to him after the day passed by, the sound of his loneliness being far gone.

"What's this?" she asked, stopping at the threshold mouth agape when she saw the decor in the living room.

House was standing beside his couch and looking at her with a mischievous gaze. On the coffee table behind him, he'd put a tablecloth and dressed a table for two, with fine crystal glasses and white porcelain plates. The stereo was playing smooth jazz. The room was illuminated by soft candlelight. The candles were laid everywhere, on the shelves of his book-case and furniture and the place was suffused with a soft warm halo emanating from the dancing flames. It looked absolutely surreal and unexpected. At least that's what her mesmerized gaze told him, which was the exact desired effect he wanted to trigger.

"I've cooked you dinner," he said casually, coming close to her.

"There're candles," she deadpanned, eyeing him up suspiciously.

House rolled his eyes and held back his smile, walking behind her to help her get rid of her coat.

"So what? Can't I cook my girlfriend a nice dinner?"

He placed the coat on the chair's backrest in front of his desk and took her hand, pulling her inside with him gently.

"Is that how you… apologize?" she asked, and the slight amusement behind her tone was impossible to miss.

"Apologize? Me? Duh! What would I have to apologize?" he said, letting go of her hand and sitting on the couch.

She took her high-heel shoes off and sat cross-legged on the floor, facing him.

"I don't know," she tantalized. "Maybe, leaving me alone with Wilson this morning while you said you'd handle that yourself would be a reason"…"

"I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Stuff," he said, while uncorking a bottle of wine. "I run a Department, in case you forgot!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." He leaned down to grab her glass, poured a dose of ruby alcohol inside of it and handed the glass back to her. She watched him serve himself in silence and waited until he was done. He held his glass and they locked eyes, staring intensely in each other's gaze while taking a few sips of wine. Then she put her glass down on the table, slowly, and shifted her weight to the side, uncrossing her legs and folding them under her butt cheeks.

"House," she started, searching for his eyes. "I get why you didn't want to come, but…"

"I never said I didn't _want_ to come," he answered quickly, looking down. "Only that I _couldn't_ come."

"Alright," she conceded, half-convinced. "Can I ask you a question then?"

"What question?"

"Why do you want to test me for ovarian canc-?"

"Uh-uh," he cut her off, shaking his head. "We're not talking about this."

"Why not? It's my health we're discussing here. Don't you think I have the right to-"

"Nope."

She puffed and stared at him with eyes wide opened in bafflement.

"You're a doctor too, or so you say you are," he carried on, teasing her. "I don't need to explain you the process of diagnosing."

"Is that because I… bled a little the other day."

"Did you?" he asked, faking to be surprised.

"House! Don't play dense. Wilson asked me-"

"Oh, he did? And what did you tell him?"

"The same thing I'd told you then: that it was nothing and that it was only because we-"

House's eyebrows arched up in surprise and he smiled slightly.

"You really did tell him that, uh?"

"What other choice did I have?"

Instead of answering, House took his glass again and slowly drank another sip of wine.

"CA 19-" she started.

"Shut up!"

"What?"

"You agreed to let me handle this, so stop asking questions!"

"But-"

"Tss! You're starting to sound exactly like those annoying patients of mine who always think they need to tell me how to do my job. "

"And what am I supposed to do?"

"Right now, you eat, you relax…"

"And then what?"

"Then we make out!" se stated solemnly.

"Really, so that's your plan?"

"Absolutely! First, I'm gonna get you drunk and satiated with delicious meals and then I'll take advantage of your body all night."

His tone was so theatrically serious she couldn't repress her laugh. She tilted her head to the side and looked at him with fond eyes.

"You're-"

"Irresistible?"

"I was going to say impossible."

"We'll see about that after you've tasted what I cooked for you," he replied assertively.

Then he stood up and leaned down to take their plates, before disappearing into the kitchen…

# # # # #

Dinner had been exquisite. House was as obsessed with perfection when it came to cooking as he was with medicine when it came to diagnosing and the refined meals he'd prepared for her tasted just like heaven. After one last spoonful of exotic fruit zabaglione, Cuddy heaved a deep sigh of plain satisfaction and leaned backward, resting her body weight on her stretched arms.

"Oh God, that was delicious!" she moaned in pleasure.

"I know," he said with a perfectly self-satisfied smile. "But you can call me God later, the evening is not over yet."

"Really? I can't eat anything more-"

"Dinner time is over," he clarified with a hoarse voice while standing up and putting out a hand to her.

She looked him up from her sitting position for a short while, pursing her lips to try to suppress the smile that was irrepressibly forming on the corner of her mouth until finally, she gave him her hand so he could pull her up. She stumbled and fell right into his arms but he steadied her, grabbing her by the shoulders to straighten her up.

"I think I drank too much," she said apologetically.

Narrowing his eyes at her, he studied her face and smiled roguishly.

"Or maybe the drugs I've put in your glass are starting to kick in."

"WHAT? You drugged me?" she exclaimed, looking utterly staggered.

House burst into laughter and let go of her shoulders.

"Of course not!" he replied, still chuckling. "I need you fully awake, even though half-conscious would work too, but that'd be definitely less fun… and I mean for you!"

"What are you talking about?" she said, rubbing her forehead.

As a unique answer, he took her by the hand and guided her with him to his bedroom. She tried to resist at first, still a little perplexed, but he turned around and stared at her with a reassuring gaze.

"You've been fed. Now let's get you relaxed…"

"But my head spins," she protested, half-convinced.

"No it doesn't. Geez Cuddy, you're so easily influenced! Look at me: I didn't drug you, ok! That was a joke."

"A stupid one," she pouted sulkily.

"But funny."

She rolled her eyes and finally followed him down the hallway. At his bedroom's doorsill, he stopped and whirled around, halting her as well. She raised her eyebrows interrogatively and he smiled at her, with an unexpected shyness that took her off guard and touched her infinitely, as it finished reassuring her completely as well. Irresistibly drawn to him, she leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips. He moved aside to let her enter the bedroom and she took a step inside.

A subtle scent of essential oils floated in the air. Was it Ylang-Ylang or jasmine, she couldn't tell but the smell was definitely a delight for the senses. Then she saw the flower petals spread on the bed sheets and her eyes widened in astonishment.

"Oh-oh," she chortled. "Seriously?"

The truth was, from the moment she'd arrived, she'd been a million miles away from anticipating any of that, at all, and despite the fact that House's delicate attentions undoubtedly thrilled her, she was however feeling a little nonplussed by the obviousness of the effort. Predictably though, House feigned to ignore her question and walked her to the bed. She stood there, the back of her knees touching the edge of the mattress and she scrutinized him, intrigued.

"What's this?" she insisted, more eager to understand his motives than to simply enjoy the moment.

"It's a bed," he answered dismissively. "Now lie down, you're getting naked."

She sent him a challenging look, her eyebrows rising in mock surprise but, with a conquering smile, he pushed her backwards before she had time to react.

"House-" she whispered, panting.

But the second she'd fallen on the bed, he'd leaned down and rested his hands astride her torso, his strapping frame towering over her. The sudden closeness of their bodies, and the depth of his gaze on her, loaded with palpable sexual tension took her breath away and the words died down in the back of her throat.

"You talk too much," he rasped, and he laid a soft kiss on the pulp of her bottom lip, sucking it inside his mouth ever so slightly with an amazing sensuality.

Her fingers instantly clutched at the sheets and when he parted from their kiss, she felt her body jolt upward to stay close to him, already craving more of his touch on her. He straightened up and looked down at her ravenously. She wore black stockings and he took immense pleasure in taking them off leisurely, fondling the length of her silky thighs and calves. One clothe after the other, he heedfully undressed her, paying infinite attention to every inch of her skin he was uncovering in the process, touching it with the palm of his hands, rubbing it with his stubble, licking it with the tip of his tongue. Soon, he had her lie on the bed, scantily clad, with her entire body trembling in anticipation. He invited her to slide towards the center of the mattress and while she stretched languorously to a more comfortable position, he quickly took off his clothes, keeping only his boxers on, before sitting down next to her. To her surprise, House reached out for a cup on the nightstand that she hadn't noticed until then. After he'd dipped his fingers in its scented, oily content, he rubbed his palms to moisten his skin and turned around to face her again. She hadn't taken her eyes off of him and when he seized one of her feet, she bit her bottom lip to stifle a moan. Delicately, he began to massage her foot, applying gentle pressures on the sensitive spots of her sole, stroking her ankles and fondling her toes. She surrendered to the sensation and threw her head back on the pillow, taking long, deep breaths and letting the calm pervade her.

"Smells good," she crooned with her eyes closed. "What's that scent?"

"One of my secret cocktails-"

"It smells like Jasmine or-"

"Shh… stop analyzing. Just relax," he told her.

She smiled and fell silent and he continued his rub downs conscientiously, wandering his hands higher on her calves and kneading her muscles gently. Cuddy could almost feel the tension of the last days leave her body. She struggled to keep her eyes open, not wanting to fall asleep just yet, but feeling dangerously laid-back nonetheless.

Her mind drifted into a delightfully relaxing haze and she must have dozed off for a short moment because she didn't notice when House stopped massaging her feet. The next thing she felt was his hand on her hips, sliding under the waistband of her panties and taking them off. She opened her eyes and wriggled on the mattress. The sensation of his lips tracing his way up her legs with hot kisses came next. His stubble scraped her a bit but it was a pleasant feeling, subtle mix of tickling and scratching. Then his hand landed on her sex and he cupped her pelvic bone, while he spread her thighs open with his chin.

"House," Cuddy moaned. "I'm falling asleep-"

"No you're not," he contradicted assertively and his middle finger made his way down her slit, parting her folds slowly. She arched the small of her back and her toes curled up in a jerk. "See?" he teased.

"I'm not in the mood," she lied, brazening it out.

"Stop me," he dared her.

She tried to squeeze her legs shut but he instantly pressed on her knees to open them wide again. Heedless of her protestations, he chose every sensitive spot he knew by heart would drive her mad and started kissing her, first softly, barely brushing her lower abdomen with his lips, then more insistently, nipping her flesh where her skin was as thin and transparent as tissue paper. And warm. So warm he couldn't help nuzzling her groin and the agonizingly pleasuring tickling sensation the rubbing movement of his nose on her skin created made her muscles contract.

"Don't," she still insisted, absolutely unconvincing. "I don't need-"

"You don't know what you need," he interrupted. "But _I_ do, and trust me, oral sex is definitely on the list."

She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down at him challengingly. He sustained her gaze, smiling roguishly, his stare conveying the almost blasé certainty that he was right and it annoyed her a little.

"No," she answered, with nerve, somehow piqued in her pride, even though she knew, and _House_ knew, it was absolutely untrue.

Especially as he chose that exact moment to push a finger inside her core, unceremoniously, and the way her inner walls instantly clenched at the intrusion, clamping and relaxing around his finger in a few spasms gave him the unnecessary proof that it was. Damn.

"Ooh, you can't fool me!" he chuckled. "That little pussy of yours is screaming for attention right now…"

"You sound like a horny teenager," she said, her tone indicating she was slightly put out.

He raised his face up and sent her a mischievous, amused gaze.

"I doubt any teenager, no matter how horny, would have enough experience to handle you the way I can," he teased, knowing that his words would make her shiver in anticipation just like he wanted her to.

And indeed, she shivered, a light tremble shaking the small of her back and descending along her legs. House placed his hands on her thighs again to spread them open and he greedily dived in, nipping her mound, as if he were taking a mouthful of chocolate muffin, thrusting his tongue between her folds and lapping her clit up and down with a pressure that left no doubt about how earnestly he intended to treat her. Cuddy's hips instantly jolted upward and she threw her head back into the pillow.

"Ahhh!" she moaned, incapable of holding back the long pleasured sigh that escaped her lips.

House smiled victoriously against the soft skin of her labia, inhaling deeply, to catch his breath first, but mostly to fill his nostrils with her scent, so intoxicating when lust was irrepressibly pervading her body, just like it was in that moment.

"God, I love the way you smell!" he said, the sound of his exclamation muffled by her soft sex.

"Stop talking!" she ordered impatiently.

House propped himself up on his forearms and stared at her with glee. She saw him, and his gloating face, and she glared at him in response, trying her best to look ominous but, in truth, only managing to reinforce the fact that she was desperately craving his touch. _Desperately_. She realized House hadn't failed to notice that as a fact as well when his smile turned into a beam. He took in a sharp breath that inflated his lungs with pride and in that exact instant, she would have slapped herself for displaying such a transparent desire if a certain sense of self-awareness, and maybe even honesty, hadn't prompted her to admit that, after all, she didn't really care. At all.

"House…" she pleaded, as her lower abdomen started to undulate in a slow, languorous wave, almost in spite of herself.

And so he leaned down again and she lifted her pelvis up to meet with his mouth faster, the yearning sensation already burning all of her nerve-endings and making her clit throb almost painfully. He slid his hands under her ass cheeks to relieve her of the effort of lying down, balanced and arched up, and he nose-dived between her folds.

The moment his lips came in contact with her sex, an erratic jerk shook her body and she hissed, her hand instinctively grabbing his hair and pulling at it forcefully, as if that movement solely was channeling all the incredible energy of her desire that needed to be released. It was not going to take long, House thought, seeing how unreservedly she was already responding to his touch. He licked the wet bud of her clit, alternating speeds, using the tip of his tongue to tickle and the pulp of his lips to flatten and suck and her breathing turned into loud gasps in no time. His hands cupping her ass, he began to knead the plumpness of her flesh, eliciting just the perfect muscle contractions on her part that made her pelvis rock up her down and increased the rubbing effect of his tongue strokes. She wasn't even gasping anymore; her breathing had become wheezing moans and he knew she was hurtling near the edge. He half-heartedly removed his hands from her butt, considering how much he loved to grope and fondle that part of her body, but he knew he needed her to be steadier, for what he was about to do next would undoubtedly be the last step before she would get hit by the first quaking waves of orgasm. When the small of her back met the surface of the bed, he firmly pressed on her hipbones to pine her down to the mattress and he thrust his tongue deep into her pussy pulling it out almost right away and pushing it back again. After several thrusts, he felt her wriggling underneath him, as she was fighting the need to give in to the electric pulses that coursed through her nerves and urged her to jolt her body upward.

"Oh God! Oh fuck!... Oh fuck, Oh God!" she practically screamed, slamming the mattress with the palm of her hand.

"You're such a blasphemer!" House chuckled, suspending his tongue strokes just a second to mumble the words against her wet sex, his lips merely brushing her clit.

"Don't stop!" she instantly protested, squirming in frustration for being interrupted in the most ill-timed moment of her ascending trip to heaven.

But he did not stop. Actually, the second his tongue licked the juices dripping from her core once more, she came. Shamelessly and unbelievably loud, she came. And the sound of her release echoed in the most beautiful way against the walls of his bedroom.

He rested his forehead on her lower abdomen, and he let the undulating waves of her pants rock him gently for several minutes. When her breathing finally found its normal rhythm again, he crawled his way back up, trailing soft kisses along her midriff and ribs until his mouth reached her nipple and he gently rested his head against her breast, the thudding sounds of her heartbeats echoing into his ear. She caressed his skull, combing his dark gray hair with her fingers delicately, and sighing gratefully above him.

The sudden silence in the room contrasted with the feverish shouts that had filled it just moments before and it permeated the air with a peculiar sense of perfect quietness. House wanted to melt under her skin, make one with her and never let go of that precious feeling of bliss that was pervading him in that instant. Without thinking of it, almost mechanically, his fingertips started to caress her right arm lightly, from her shoulder down along her bicep. And down again, until at some point, he reached the bend of her arm. Blood test, test results… That sudden realization hit him with no warning and he stopped where the needle must have entered her vein. She didn't notice the way he quickly removed his hand from her arm and it didn't feel awkward to her when he put it on her midriff instead. But feeling unexpectedly overwhelmed, House closed his eyes and buried his face deeper into her breast, inhaling deeply against her bare skin. Her smell was intoxicating. He squeezed her tighter, practically suffocating her inside the tightness of his embrace.

"You know I'm gonna need to breathe at some point," she said with a soft voice.

He instantly relaxed his grip and lifted his head to look up at her.

"Pff, no you're not! Breathing is overrated!" he told her, smiling against the plumpness of her breast.

She giggled and turned her head to the side, looking at the petals around her. She took one in her slender hand and held it up to study it.

"What kind of flowers is that?" she asked.

"Uh?" he couldn't hold back his surprise. "You really care about _that_?"

She didn't answer but brought the mallow petal under her nose to sniff it.

"It doesn't smell anything."

"And, why does it matter?"

"I'm not saying it matters, I just noticed it that's all-"

"You're so incredibly high maintenance."

"No, I'm not!" she protested.

"Yes, you are: dinner by candlelight, refined cuisine, wine, massage, full focus on your sole pleasure and what you notice is that the flower has no smell?"

She stared at him with a slight look of hurt.

"You make it sound like it was a chore for you to do all those things!" she said with a disenchanted voice.

"No, it was not. Actually, that's quite the opposite. I _want_ to do all those things for you. But you, on the other hand, you make it look like it's not enough to please you…"

"That's not true!" she protested. "Of course it pleased me. I'm thrilled by everything you've done: the dinner you cooked for me, the candles, the massage, the sex, _and_ the flowers too… I loved everything…"

"But?"

She puffed, feeling guilty for indeed intending to end her sentence with a 'but' and being unmasked so easily.

"There's no but," she tried to deny with the energy of despair.

"Of course there is! You think I don't know you?" he told her with an undecipherable gaze.

"I don't care about the flowers and the dinner and the massage. I mean, I do but-"

"Ah, see? Here comes that 'but'"

"It's just that… Something's wrong with me. And we don't know what it is… I think…" She hesitated a second and added, "I think we should talk about it."

"There's nothing to talk about," he said, barely hiding his somewhat annoyed sigh.

"But-"

"Cuddyyyy, I'm not gonna run away. That's your thing, remember?"

She sucked in a sharp breath, startled by the mention of that episode which proved the hurt hadn't completely dissipated yet, and perhaps never would. House felt her uneasiness and he took her hand inside his, softly caressing the length on her fingers with the tip of his thumb.

"You have something, yes, but I'm not going to dump you because you're sick; and if you don't already know that, then you're an idiot."

"I know you're not going to dump me," she answered.

"Good. Everything's fine then. Now, can you please stop talking and go to sleep?"

She removed her hand from his and shifted on the mattress to face him, staring at him with a disapproving face. He stared back at her with exaggeratedly widened eyes, as if saying 'you started this!' and she shook her head resignedly.

"House, I just want to know how you feel," she said carefully.

He looked at her without saying a word for what seemed like an eternity and a shadow of self-consciousness darkened his gaze. Then he slowly raised his hand to her face and traced a diagonal line from her cheekbone down to her mouth with a feather touch.

"I feel…" His finger stopped on her upper lip and he pressed lightly on it to prevent her from cutting him off. She fought the pressure and held her chin up but kept her lips close. He took a deep breath and stared at her a little longer. "Like I need to sleep, which is not gonna happen anytime soon if you plan on talking about scentless flowers all night long!" he finally said, recovering his poise.

She heaved a deep sigh of mingled frustration and sadness.

"So you're not going to talk to me?" she asked.

"Why would I need to?"

"I'm not saying you _need_ to, just that it's ok if you want to… We can talk about what's going to happen-"

"Nothing's going to happen," he quickly dismissed her.

"But we can't be sure about that and… that's why talking about it… can help. Not just you, but me as well..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, uneven and nonjudgmental, but above all, Cuddy was careful to make it sound reassuring, as if it didn't really matter. "Can't you see that, for me, it's important to have you now? That I need to feel you're here, with me-"

"I'm here with you."

"But maybe _I_ need to talk about this with you or, maybe I just need to hear what's on your mind-"

He propped himself up on his elbow and he looked her in the eyes, intensely, not letting go of her light grey gaze on him for one second.

"I already said everything I had to say tonight," he told her with a hoarse voice, after a moment of complete silence. "Words are superfluous, and useless. And you know what's on my mind, Cuddy. Everything that's in there, you already know about it."

She stared at him with her mouth agape, incapable of uttering one single word, worthy of meaning, to express how she felt about the things he'd just said, but most of all, as she shamefully realized, about everything he hadn't, which had spoken just as loud. She shivered all of a sudden and she lowered her gaze uneasy.

"Can we finally sleep now?" House asked her with a slightly teasing voice.

"Yes," she murmured, lying back on the bed beside him and huddling up in his arms.

He enfolded her in his embrace and, as her warmth permeated his body, he stared blankly at the ceiling for some long, silent minutes.

He needed her so much. It was actually frightening how evident that fact was. He literally couldn't live without her. _Literally_. If she ran away again, or if _anything _happened to her … God no! He promptly chased the idea out of his mind… but, if something happened that would change the way they were together in that instant, or how incredibly fulfilling it felt, he couldn't take it. He wouldn't even try. That'd be simply the end of him, the world and everything else. Every pore of his skin was screaming how much he loved her and yet, there were still times when he found himself unable to say the words out loud. And maybe there were not enough candles he could light, or enough flower petals he could spread on the bed sheets she'd sleep in to tell her that, but that was his way of saying it, because on days like this day, there was simply no word to describe it either.

* * *

_**A/N**_

_I know it's not exactly Sunday yet, but I want to say how much I remember that unforgettable day, ten years ago, when images of horror and distress hit the entire world, like a slap in the face, leaving it in shock, as another form of – __**inexcusable**__ – distress took the lives of hundreds of innocent people, whose only sins had been to be "from the other side"…_

_That, was gratuitous. The world is round; hence there should be no sides… _

_My thoughts go to the persons who lost a beloved one that day._

_9/11. Ten years. Somehow, it will always feel like it was yesterday…_

_Love, tolerate, take care ~ Maya_


	78. another AUTHOR'S NOTE

09/10/2011

Yesterday, I've been unfairly accused of plagiarism by another author in that site (who, I will have the tact not to name; especially since apparently, she plans on adding a "bitchy note" to her next chapter to mention it so you'll know soon enough, I guess)

This author, who I followed on Twitter and who followed me back (but she blocked me now) explained that some time ago she discussed about the content of her next chapter (not published yet) on her timeline (actually, asked people to prompt her for ideas). This is true. She did discuss prompts indeed, to which I even participated, suggesting "House cooking a nice dinner for Cuddy and then taking her doggy style on the kitchen counter." Many other people, I assume, must have participated in those prompts as well, some I don't even follow, which means I couldn't see or read all their tweets. What I recall of that period, and don't contest, is that it led to some mentions of massage, bath, anal sex, oral sex, all kinds of sex, and Rachel being a "cockblocker"; none of which being clear, or detailed enough to allow _anyone_ to infer what it would eventually turn into in the final written version of the chapter this author was about to write.

She's worked on it and I can't tell what's in it because I haven't read it since it's not published, but apparently, in the end, it was supposed to contain (and even of that I'm not quite sure) a massage scene, followed by oral sex. So because of that, and given the content of my last chapter, this author claimed yesterday that since I read her timeline, I would have seen the clear scenario that she intended on developing via those tweets, and would have then slyly stolen it "in the exact same pattern" she wanted to write about, to use it in my chapter.

I can't prevent anyone from having very strong feelings about some things they would perceive as similar to their own creation, but that accusation is extremely hurtful for me and completely groundless.

Anyone that reads my story and knows me, even just a little (at least I want to hope that's the case) perfectly knows that plagiarism is the LAST thing I would do to an author. I've been plagiarized myself several times, and I know how it feels. That fanfic, IYLM, that you read here now, was once published in that same site by someone else that used MY penname (that was before I registered myself to the site) and posted my chapters, word for word, up to the 20th, until a multitude of emails some friends and I sent to the mod team finally led to them deleting the publication and the author's account. So yes, I KNOW what plagiarism is and that's why I hate the very idea of doing that to anybody.

I've myself recently asked for prompts for a one-shot and someone suggested me to write about House and Cuddy's mysterious week-end to Mont Saint Michel. I've said no and you know why? Well I said no because, ironic fact, the _same_ author that accused me of stealing her next chapter's "pattern" and calls it plagiarism, had already written a one-shot about that week-end and, as I explained then, it was unconceivable for me to duplicate an idea I already knew about, even though I would surely have done it differently.

I'm at a loss for words to express how this messed-up situation makes me feel… Massage, House cooking dinner for Cuddy, oral sex, those are ALL situations I have already depicted in that story, _several times_ in previous chapters. I don't consider them "original" ideas, as I'm sure dozens of authors here must have already used them as well. Furthermore, the way my last chapter unravels is deeply intricate into a storyline that I've outlined in its ENTIRETY a long time ago. It's anchored in the context of previous chapters and also serves to introduce the upcoming development of the story (my previous A/N – after chapter 72 – indicates that, given how I know exactly where this story is going, I had even considered quitting it because of the similarity that I saw with Bombshells by the time it aired.)

So I would NEVER, because I can't, use similar ideas _that I know of_ for my stories. I already have enough of a hard time debating with canon and convincing myself that my work can still be perceived as "personal" even if it's based on characters I didn't create, and therefore determines part of the direction my stories are taking in spite of me. Like I wrote in the preamble of my last chapter, I wasn't even able to write just gratuitous sex because as it turns out, IYLM is too much locked and outlined to allow me to wander in situations that don't have a point for my plot (I could however probably write gratuitous sex once, but for a one-shot…). Everything House does in the last chapter, as well as Cuddy's reaction has a meaning which is related to my story and makes sense in light of the past events AND upcoming ones. I didn't throw it out there as a filler, and IF the very idea of me needing to plagiarize someone else's work to write was conceivable in my world, I couldn't have made another person's ideas fit into my story AND _at the same time_, write them in "the exact same pattern" they use for their work, which is completely different, with a different time setting, a different plot, and different major influencing characters anyway.

I really hope that you will all see that this story exists and makes sense **_on its own_** and that there is no rational reason for me to feel the need to steal someone else's ideas to make it move onward.

Thank you for reading. And most of all, thank you for your kind words, here and elsewhere.

Maya.


End file.
